How can you build a long-term coaching relationship with your coachee?

Most clients/coachees expect you to come up with a miracle to their solutions and within a few minutes of trying to understand how coaching works, they could possibly end up heartbroken. And it is absolutely okay because coaching is not for everyone. If one is not willing to do the work for themselves and is looking for a quick fix, coaching is not for them. period. Setting clear expectations starts right at this stage where the coach and coachee agree on who does what and clearly coachee does the maximum work in a coaching engagement. Why is this important? Coaching often involves the arduous work of reflecting, thinking, brainstorming, making decisions, and all of it on your own as a coachee, with the Coach acting as a catalyst.

I think the premise of this article is a bit off. While some people may need and want longer term coaching to get clear about their why, how and what, and get in action, the goal of the coach is not to keep their clients forever. Or even long term. I always tell my clients that I'm going to push them out of the nest when I see they are ready (or they see it for themselves). And sometimes as clients grow and accomplish and change, I suggest that another coach might be betteer able to help them achieve new goals.

First is building trust. This means understanding the coachee at a deeper level, having the mindset and belief that the coachee has immense potential is important. Being non-judgmental is also vital. Second, its the Coachee's agenda. As a Coach its important to understand this - What is the Coachees goal, what is their current reality, what are their beliefs, where they want to be, what is that they want to explore and how they are going to commit to it. When these aspects are considered duration, number of sessions all are just hygiene matters. This is what will help build a long-term and trusting relationship with the Coachee

Eu trabalho com engajamentos de seis meses, renováveis apenas uma vez por mais seis. O trocadilho só funciona em inglês: a longo prazo, o Coach se torna um Crutch… Eu sei que muitos objetivos de coaching só acontecem anos após o fim do relacionamento de coaching. Então eu telefono um ano, dois anos, três anos etc após o encerramento do coaching

In my experience, I like to call this “designing the alliance,” and what is most important for me here would be for the client and myself to gain good clarity around “how success looks like”! This can be accomplished by asking the client, not guessing .. and having no interpretation. A question like “ Mrs client, by the end of our coaching engagement, what would you like to see yourself accomplishing? How would this be like? How would you feel by then?”. What needs to happen by the end of our coaching engagement so that you consider it a success?”. Something along these lines.

I agree with Shane Arthur's perspective. A coach becomes and expert coach when, by phone, you can "hear" your client's language, tone of voice, body language, and nonverbal cues. I understand that Zoom makes it possible to connect with clients around the globe, but great coaches listen for the pin drop and let all that auditory information guide the conversation.

I coach on voice calls. I find that deep listening is lost when we are staring at a Zoom screen. Folks are able to be themselves, think, cry, and dream better when we aren’t staring at each other. With practice, you can learn to listen deeply without seeing expressions or body language. You can hear it all if you’ll slow down enough.

Coaching isn't just about creating a long-term commitment, it's about building a connection that grows with trust. Think of it like this: coaching is deeply personal. It works best when your coach's own experiences mirror your challenges, inspiring you to conquer your own hurdles. Ultimately, the magic of coaching lies in empowering you to find your unique path to personal growth and fulfillment. It's all about helping you become a self-leader, capable of navigating your own journey.

Too many people listen to respond. In general, coaches are much better. They listen to listen, digest, consolidate, and then respond. Creating a container of trust is key to allow for a true dialogue, one with love and respect.

Listening is a SUPERPOWER in coaching. I create a safe and transparent space for my clients to be true to themselves, where I'm fully present, not just hearing words but also understanding their emotions and perspective. This is where I am the most quiet during my time with a client. Active, empathetic listening, for me, involves being intentional about hearing what's said and not said. This is having the ability to hear “cues” that include recognizing shifts in voice tone, pauses, uses of words, and even non-verbal cues. It's about being tapped in and tuned into the subtleties that reveal deeper insights leading to powerful moments, revelations and breakthroughs.

Feedback is the area between failure and growth so a coach should always be helping clients uncover blind spots. I use those blind spots as areas for improvement in my clients' individual development plans so there is a clear action plan to address it.

This may be one of the greatest “gifts” a coach can provide their coachee. Constructive, consistent, timely, honest feedback. We do those we serve no favors by sugar-coating feedback. This isn’t the time to balance out feedback - leave that for their employer, family and friends to do. In my coaching experiences when I let my personal feelings get in the way of providing a transparent look into their lives it has more often than not led to negative results that do a disservice to the coachee and impact the trust needed between us.

I'd like to echo Marshall Goldsmith's concept of feedforward. Feedback is sometimes negative and deconstructive. Feedforward is actionable and allows the coachee to take actionable steps moving forward.

Feedback can be a powerful tool for growth and development or a weapon of mass destruction. Having the ability to deliver constructive feedback in a way that edifies, builds up, and demonstrates that you are 'FOR' the coachee, even when the information shared is hard but necessary for growth and improvement. The greatest transformations happen when there’s an environment of accountability which means the coachee is receptive to hearing and trusting the source. For me, it is important to lean in with grace and be a safe space for the coachee. Time is of the essence, so providing timely feedback allows for increased awareness while the situation is fresh in the coachee's mind, enabling them to course-correct with clarity and support from me.

Feedback and the way it is shared is an art, I believe. It is something that can make it or break it. Feedback will be received as meaningful if it has: - Actions - Systematic data based on which conclusions are drawn or perspectives are shared - Highlights strengths - Mention the exact achievements with real incident examples - Where feedback is situation specific and not person centric (non subjective) - Where feedback begins as a conversation starter and not the ones that shuts the person down.

One of the most important aspects of coaching is to help the person you are coaching to become more resourceful when their model of the world has been challenged. I use various techniques adapted to each individual and always challenge them to step outside their comfort zone and try on new perspectives, whilst holding the space for them to calibrate with a more resourceful approach to the situation.

If you've done a good job up front setting expectations, it's then the coach's job to hold space for the coachee to move in the direction of improvement they want to reach. There are many techniques that work in this area of coaching and supporting existing actions and challenging to reach new heights is an approach that has proven to work time and again.

Recognizing that disrupting old habits, mindsets and behaviors will require stretching and growth challenges is crucial. Transformation or significant progress can’t be achieved by staying in a comfort zone. Like the old saying goes “if you do what you’ve always done, you will get what you’ve always gotten.” Rephrased, doing the same things won’t get different results. Coachee’s must be willing to commit to their growth and transformation process. Partnering with my coaching clients on their journey helps them increase self-awareness, see their blind spots, and explore alternatives that disrupt the familiar and create new experiences. These challenges serve as a vehicle for self-discovery, evolution, and fresh perspectives.

Support and challenge are two sides of the same coin. Coaching is also about not creating dependency but rather supporting the coachee to be more independent for themselves. Challenging is a part of the growth journey, challenging the coachee supports them to think beyond their current ways of thinking and when they do that, it helps them to grow. At the same time acknowledging their efforts and achievements is offering support to them.

This is crucial to maintaining a long term relationship. As coaching is a process that runs parallely with the clients growth, sharing perspectives, timely feedback, channelizing resources, sharing real life examples, motivation and encouragement to set realistic goals, achieve them systematically and build foresight are crucial.

One size never fits all. It's either too big or too small. The coach with a bag of tools must first pick the tools and approach that will work best in a given situation and then adjust based on feedback. The end result is the coachee being seen by their stakeholders as having made a marked improvement in the area they wanted to address.

One of the essential trait of an effective coach is to be flexible and adaptive. As a coach, aligning your approach to the needs and style of the coachee would build the necessary foundation of creating a safe space for the coachee to share and open up. Just like any other key relationship, even coaching thrives on rapport and mutual trust to go long-term and be sustainable. During the course of coaching, as the coachee grows, develops or transforms, the coach also needs to evolve in its understanding of the changed scenario and current approach of the coachee, to stay relevant and useful.

It’s incredibly helpful and important to have a clear framework by which to structure your work. However the framework should NEVER limit your approach, nor should it keep a coach from creating a personal and adaptive plan for their clients. One size fits all is a terrible model to apply to coaching Gain clarity in expected goals and outcomes. Take the time to understand how your client learns best. Pay close attention to their primary needs and styles of engagement then adapt your approach to that information.

The art is to know what to share when, which tools to use and what skills to enhance at the right time. The role of a coach is to be adaptive, flexible but also to help the client to build ownership. It is to build a reciprocal relationship. It is an exchange, as the coach evolves, the coach has to too and vice versa.

Don't forget that you are a coach, not a teacher. You can model your openness to new ideas through stories, and accepting feedback with humility.

I believe the highlight is to know that the coach will show how, tell how but also must know the things that are within control and those beyond it. The coachee too on the other hand needs to build ownership, believe in their goals and work hard towards it!

Simply ask the client if they have long-term needs. If the client only has desire, capacity or resources for short-term engagement, that's okay. However, give the client the option to share long term aspirations, goals, and/or dreams. Then ask if they would like to address those areas in coaching and partner with you to create a long term plan that includes coaching.

The first step is to establish a connection with the client. Engage with them with a short, open dialogue to get a sense of what’s going on in their lives. It can also be useful to briefly share something that’s going on in your own life to establish trust and demonstrate vulnerability.

A long-term coaching relationship is dependent on the trust equation between the coach and coachee. A great coach is able to make the coachee reflect and untie knots in the mind, also challenge the coachee's beliefs. The coachee discovers new insights from this partnership. A continued relationship happens when the coachee starts seeing the benefits of the coaching journey on oneself. This can take time. A good coach will be around to ensure a helping hand in this relationship, but after a point will want the coachee to take off by themselves.

In order to build a long-term coaching relationship with Coachee, hand holding and follow up support, once the Coaching journey is completed.

Your coachees want to ensure that you understand their particular situation, that you know your craft, and that they will achieve their goals (with your help). Active listening and meta-communication about the process (from time to time) help to communicate that. Polemics and cynicism are long-term relationship killers and typically indicators for wanna-be-coaches overwhelmed by their mandates.