How can you give effective, tough feedback to your direct reports?

Instead of “feedback”, provide your employee “freed forward”. The concept is simple. Instead of telling an employee what they did wrong or missed about a past effort or work task. Rather, lead off with all the things they got right with the effort and then pivot to what they could focus on going forward. Frame it as an opportunity to do things differently (improved) next time by providing your guidance and input (feed forward) on the how. It’s a positive way to gain an employee’s trust. They feel working with you can be a safe place where they can learn form you on how to continually improve their knowledge and skills to better grow their career.

It can feel like an ambush to come in and give general feedback about performance. It immediately puts people on the defensive ("I don't do that!"). If there is a trend, start a conversation with a recent, specific event. Use an After Action Report format to discuss 1. What was supposed to happen? 2. What actually happened? 3. Why did that happen? 4. How do we improve results next time? Only then do you broaden this into discussion of a performance trend where this one incident was an example. Then ask questions about THEY think this is happening and how they could improve. You may know the answer, but they have to get there on their own. Be a coach, not a back seat driver.

The secret to having effective "tough feedback" with your team is to build trust and consistency with each of them over time. You build trust by engaging with regular 1:1 check ins with them, building a rapport that is based upon trust and authenticity about them and your support of their careers and development. This way feedback becomes constructive and its there to support them on their career path, not just to bring up the bad news. Feedback has to be a regular occurence where you engage with active listening and two way dialogue with your team. Make time to engage and build rapport so "tough discussions" are embraced and supported with a constructive feedback that enables learning and growth.

To give tough feedback, first build trust. Your direct reports need to see you as a growth ally, not just a critic. Here’s how: 1. Mutually agree on concrete success measures for a task or project. 2. Instead of feedback, ask the question "how do you think this measures up to the criteria we agreed to?", 3. Way before tough feedback, make a point to find and provide positive feedback (daily/weekly) so they see you as their champion, which later helps during tough feedback. and 4. When ready for tough feedback, use the STAR-AR method (e.g. Here was the Situation/Task you were tackling, you took this Action with that Result. Alternatively, you could have taking this other Action, that might have led to this other Result.)