You’re a facilitator in a heated meeting. How do you keep things from boiling over?

Essencial estabelecer regras claras de conduta e comunicação para garantir que todos os participantes sejam ouvidos e respeitados, criar um ambiente de colaboração e incentivar a busca por soluções em conjunto, em vez de focar apenas nos conflitos. É fundamental manter o foco nos objetivos da reunião e direcionar as discussões para temas relevantes, evitando que assuntos pessoais ou divergências não relacionadas ao tema se sobreponham. Demonstrar empatia e compreensão em relação às emoções dos participantes, sem permitir que as tensões se intensifiquem. Ao manter a neutralidade e a imparcialidade, é possível ajudar a acalmar os ânimos e direcionar a energia para a resolução dos problemas em pauta.

If you become physiologically stressed, staying calm can be impossible. Your frontal lobe such down, stress response goes up, and you may go into a fight, flight or freeze response. So, it’s important to regulate your state. Part of this takes some training: grounding, orienting, breathing: using the body to steady your nervous system, so you are present and calm. And, if you can’t get your state or the others into a regulated debate, time-out is essential for everyone to get back to a baseline.

At the beginning of every training program, we have a two-way accountability contract that is co-created with all participants and facilitators. This gives us a document in writing that all parties have agreed to, which allows to enforce ground rules set at the onset of training. This document also helps create a shared sense of accountability to keep the conversation safe and respectful as designed by each individual. When they have a say in co-creating these rules, they're more apt to adhere to them vs. being read the riot act without having any input.

Active listening and paraphrasing is hard work if you're inexperienced. I recommend building this skill by practising with friends and relatives. Once you've gained a good amount of experience and it comes time to facilitate a conversation, remember this one critical point: put your internal thought processes to one side as your role is to facilitate, not judge.

We are clever storytellers. In the book, Crucial Conversations highlights 3 types of "stories" we tell. Villian, Victim, and Helpless. In a heated situation, if we see the other as a villain, we can use a re-framing question like, "Why would reasonable people get so angry". This is a humanizing question to "Master the story" in our head. Similarly, if we are narrating the "Victim" story, we can assess our role by asking "What did I do to get to this situation?" This question allows us to get a grip on our emotions. Mastering our stories is one of the most liberating exercises to keep us humble and stay focused on the desired outcome.

To prevent heated meetings from boiling over, facilitators should: 1. Intervene proactively: Verbalize both verbal and nonverbal cues as a sign that a break is needed before further escalation. 2. Reiterate essential positions: Ensure both sides feel heard amid rising tensions, fostering a sense of acknowledgment and understanding. 3. Reframe divisive energy: Transform conflict into collaboration by emphasizing shared principles like passion and commitment. 4. Acknowledge heightened emotions: Use emotional intensity as a sign of importance, guiding the collective focus towards a resolution. These four steps effectively channel potential conflicts into constructive outcomes, maintaining a conducive atmosphere for productive discussions.

A shared encouragement to take a deep breath can shift a group’s ability to prioritize and problem solve together. How to create the space for that encouragement might be one of the big challenges of our time 😉✨

Physical movement is also helpful to create a state change when conversations get heated. With a break, encouraging participants to stand up, refill their water or coffee, have a quick stretch and come back at the designated time to continue with the rest of the session. Making it known as well that the subject will be changing upon return and if the previous topic needs resolving, discussing that with certain individuals either on the break or finding time in the future to continue the conversation.

When sparks fly, it's helpful to take a break. Conflict or heated discussions can be very challenging for some, but taking a timeout will allow everyone to process, regroup, and revisit with a more calm restart.

Firstly, take a break to enable any high-energy or emotions to reduce. Then get each party involved to share their perspective or viewpoint. To reduce emotions overspilling, get them to write down their thoughts. Agree on what exactly the issue is that is the root cause. Seek to elicit if there are any common views held by the parties involved. If there are, explore how a compromise can be reached, with give a take from all parties.

In situations where involved parties reaches an impasse; as facilitators we can guide them to step out of the situation by looking beyond the topic to re-establish safety and finding mutual purpose.