How do you motivate coachees who are not engaged?

I've found it helpful to gently explore where my client is at that point and meet them there. Ask questions like "What comes up for you today when you look at your original goal?" or "How are these coaching sessions serving/ not serving you today?" etc.

I agree, and I would add that it is hard to "visualise" their own path. A lot of the times, they focus on the goals instead of the journey. To further engage coachees, I've found using storytelling and introducing "characters" that founders and executives identify with to be incredibly effective. Understanding their role models can offer valuable insight into their aspirations and challenges. By weaving these characters into our discussions, we can create a mental narrative that resonates with them, making the coaching process more relatable, exciting, and providing a dynamic framework for exploring potential paths of development and growth. This storytelling approach helps them visualize their journey.

Doctors are told ‘When you hear hoofbeats, think horses,🐴 not zebras 🦓' when diagnosing symptoms. Look for the most obvious causes. Resistance may be a sign of them having an off day or being distracted. Or it may be a sign that it's not about them. It's stemming from me. Sensing anything other than an ‘off-day’ is a good time to self-check: → What am I bringing to the interaction? → Is my energy, body language, words, or tone contributing to their resistance? → Am I setting up a space for them to step into their growth, at their own pace? → Am I facilitating growth or unconsciously slipping into 'fixing' mode? When you're getting the sense of resistance, don't forget to look for hoses 🐴 with the zebras 🦓

As a coach, empathizing with coachees and uncovering root causes of resistance or lack of engagement is crucial. Through open-ended questions, active listening, reflection, and validation, you create a safe space for exploration and growth. Understanding their perspectives and emotions enables effective support and fosters meaningful transformation. Curiosity is a coach's superpower. It fuels exploration, uncovers hidden potentials, and sparks growth. By embracing their natural curiosity, coaches ignite a transformative journey that empowers coachees to explore new horizons and unlock their fullest potential.

This was amazingly helpful by shedding the light from multiple perspectives not just "it's all their fault" or "it's all my fault" ! It's usually a combination of things we must be willing to put together! And with deep pieces which is not always simple to do but more productive & rewarding at the end of the day for all involved!! It really opened up my mind and will help me tremendously thanks for sharing 👍🏾

Establishing rapport and trust is critical for a coach because it lays the foundation for a strong coaching relationship. When coachees feel comfortable and trust their coach, they become more open, honest, and receptive to guidance. This fosters deeper insights, effective communication, and a safe space for exploration and growth. Building rapport cultivates a supportive environment where coachees can freely express themselves, leading to meaningful transformations and lasting results.

There is one question I ask before we get into goal-setting tactics: 👉 How will you know when you’ve achieved this goal? 👈 This gets past check-in-the-box answers and expectations and into motivations, feelings, drivers, and subconscious resistance. Which helps bring about clarity around the goal why. From there, we tailor a path for their definition of success selecting the goal-setting approach that best resonates and supports them, which normally includes a combination of building blocks. Clarity of goal tangibles and intangibles allows the client to increase their confidence, feel more accomplished, and shift their mindset. Clarity helps keep perspective that every goal is a journey, even if you can check off the box.

What I found useful is adopting a tiered timeline for goal setting, which can be beneficial, by segmenting goals into short-term (3-6-12 months), medium-term (3-5 years), and long-term (5-7 years) objectives. This approach provides a comprehensive roadmap, allowing manageable visualization of their journey. Immediate goals offer specific targets, serving as stepping stones towards broader, aspirational long-term objectives. Acknowledging professional growth's inherent fluidity, it's crucial to be adaptable, resilient, and capable of adjusting to changing circumstances, as per Bruce Lee's "be like water" philosophy.

Coaches must clarify goals and expectations when working with clients to ensure alignment and maximize effectiveness. Clear goals provide direction, focus, and motivation for both coach and client. By understanding the client's desired outcomes, coaches can tailor their approach and interventions accordingly. Setting expectations establishes boundaries, defines roles, and enhances accountability. This clarity enhances the coaching process, facilitates progress tracking, and increases the likelihood of achieving meaningful and sustainable results.

Providing feedback and support is a powerful intervention to combat resistance in coaching. Feedback offers insights and reflections that help individuals gain awareness and perspective. It helps them recognize and overcome resistance by offering alternative viewpoints. Support, on the other hand, creates a safe and encouraging environment. It builds trust, boosts confidence, and validates progress. By combining feedback and support, coaches can help coachees navigate resistance, cultivate growth, and achieve transformative outcomes.

This is where the high challenge, high support model really comes into its own! Striking the right balance here is critical to ensure progress and needs to be carefully tailored to suit the individual needs of the coachee as everyone’s version of this will look and feel different - one size does not fit all.

Handling resistance or lack of engagement from coaches as a coach is crucial while continuing to inspire them. Resistance often indicates underlying issues or obstacles to growth. By addressing it empathetically and providing support, coaches can help coachees overcome barriers and reignite motivation. Inspiring them through encouragement, positive reinforcement, and a clear vision keeps their aspirations alive and fosters resilience. It transforms resistance into an opportunity for growth, leading to increased engagement, meaningful progress, and ultimately, success.

Asking questions that allow a coachee to really get to what is on their mind is very important for engagement and motivation. Michael Bungay Stanier’s AWE question is brilliant for this. Asking ‘and what else’ followed by ‘and what else’ followed by ‘and what else’ can allow a coachee to express what is really on their mind. Once this state of awareness is reached, I tend to find clients are more engaged and motivated towards impactful change.