Feeling inadequate while collaborating with thought leaders in your field?

Of course there are things that can set you off or get under your skin; however, you also need to take control of your emotions. Jocko Willink has a quote and it essentially says that losing your temper is a sign of weakness. If you cannot control your emotions in a heated argument or if a deal falls through, you have already lost and should just leave with your tail between your legs. It took a long time to really get this through my head. I had a supervisor a long time ago that loved to get under others' skin because they felt like they were in more control. Once I realized this and remembered Jocko's quote, it hit me: by releasing emotion is exactly what they want. If you can control your emotions, then you can control the outcome.

Knowledge is power. I've had frustrating interactions with clients/supervisors before, but it all changed when I started asking simple questions to illicit actual feedback. Trying to act like you know everything without putting in the time and effort needed, is a great way to show your immaturity, especially if you cannot take feedback positively. The only way to be a true and effective leader is to listen to your employees or clients and their perspectives. Sure, not every idea or thought is going to be a winner, but if you have never tried it or you have not opened your mind to see it from their point of view, then you are just shutting them down and not allowing thought/creativity into your discussions, which makes people want to leave.

It’s about collaborating, not competing which means contributing your unique perspective to the conversation to multiplying impact. Focus on building upon ideas of other thought leaders you are working with to enhance the outcome. A collective piece is a wonderful way to catalyze your own work and create a more impact. It also signals the approval of your peers and helps to reinforce your credibility

By focusing on how your strengths complement and elevate the team's work, you'll realize you're not just a participant, but a vital asset to the collaboration.

I have always set two different levels of achievement for my clients and myself: expectation of outcome and the goal. Expectation of outcome is quite simple: It is the bare minimum requirement that is acceptable. Now, this does not mean it is the expectation that everyone else adheres too, for example: In order to pass a class, you need a 75% or higher, that is the minimum requirement; however, my expectation or minimum requirement is going to be a 90%. For the over arching goal in the example stated above, it would be a 100%. Of course, different strokes for different folks, but this sliding scale that I use has never failed me and keeps me above the rest, while still reaching for higher levels.

Sometimes expressing those feelings of inadequacies can make the message even more powerful. Thought leaders are still human capable of feeling the full range of emotions. By acknowledging their vulnerabilities, they can create a deeper connection with their audience. This authenticity fosters trust and relatability, as people often resonate more with those who are honest about their struggles and imperfections.