You're faced with harsh criticism from a coworker in a team meeting. How can you respond mindfully?

Taking a pause is crucial, but during that pause, extend some self-compassion. Harsh criticism can trigger a fight-or-flight response. Acknowledge your initial feelings, but don't let them dictate your response. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that criticism doesn't define your worth. Taking a deep breath and practicing a short mindfulness technique can help center yourself. By responding from a place of calm self-awareness, you'll be better equipped to assess the situation fairly and engage in a constructive way. Think of it like having a grounding anchor - self-compassion steadies you before you react, allowing for a more mindful response.

This is the most critical step. When faced with criticism, before the other person has even finished, we jump into defensive mode. Instead, pause, recognize that everyone has their own perspective to things but it does not make it the "truth", and hold compassion for them. Usually if someone is criticising you in a way that feels attacking, they might be going through something themselves. I know it might feel hard to be compassionate towards someone when they are throwing negative words at you. If you can pause and remain centered, knowing yourself well enough to not be influenced by what others think of you, you may find it possible to hold their words in compassion, while not letting it affect your view of yourself.

First, take a deep breath to center yourself and acknowledge any immediate emotional reactions that arise, such as defensiveness or hurt. Mindfulness encourages us to observe these feelings without judgment. Actively listen to the criticism without interrupting or planning your response prematurely. You want to show respect for the other person's perspective and fully understand their concerns. Once they have finished speaking, respond thoughtfully by acknowledging their feedback and expressing gratitude for their input, even if it's challenging to hear. Remember, this doesn't mean accepting unfair criticism but rather approaching the situation with awareness and a focus on maintaining positive communication and mutual understanding.

Mindfulness is so helpful in these types of situations, because we tend to be more aware of our own defenses and triggers. If we don't catch the wave before it breaks, we will not be able to pause here. For me, it is crucial to listen to my body as it starts to alert me of a powerful emotion. Our bodies are tattletales. Listen to them! If we catch the wave at the crest, we can pause, breathe deeply and stay silent. Let go of the feeling that you need to fill the silence or say something right away. Silence is powerful! In this pause, you can focus on tapping on your knee for awareness strengthening and no one can see you. Acknowledge and allow any emotions you feel. Don't judge them. Tell yourself you are safe (as long as you are!).

Let's be honest here. For most of us, when we are in a situation that the body is responding too as if we are being chased by a bear, "fair assessment" may not be a reasonable goal. We are in fight or flight mode. But let's assume we were able to pause with aware presence. This actually happened to me. I was in a state of heightened emotion AND was aware and present. The emotional response was still running through my body. It's okay to have the energy of emotions! I was able to speak calmly enough to thank them for their honesty. I sympathized with them as to why they may have that viewpoint. But then told them I didn't agree and why. Mindfulness does not mean you don't have boundaries. But the healthiest boundaries are self-aware ones.

When we practice mindfulness we learn to maintain a cool mind. Express gratitude to your colleague for their feedback. Express gratitude for their viewpoint. Steer clear of dismissive or defensive behavior. Control your feelings and remain calm. Refrain from responding on impulse. Keep your body language and tone neutral. Refrain from arguing or over-justifying your behavior. If the criticism is severe, consider having a private discussion about it. Talking about it one-on-one can result in a more fruitful conversation.

When faced with harsh criticism from a coworker, it is important to engage positively and approach the situation with an open mind. Instead of becoming defensive or lashing out, take a moment to pause and reflect on the feedback. Try to see the criticism as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement, rather than a personal attack. Try to understand the underlying reasons behind their criticism and the specific areas they are pointing out for improvement. Remember, listening is the first step towards effective communication and conflict resolution.

I think it could depend on the situation, but first and foremost, it's important to assess how appropriate the critique was. In a team meeting, it is usually inappropriate to deliver harsh criticism to a colleague. If this is the case, the coworker needs to learn about boundaries and possibly the corporate code of behavior, and you may need to remind or show it to them. If the criticism was appropriate, start by processing your emotions and feelings about it. There are many helpful mindfulness methods for this, such as meditation with visualization, mindful journaling, and mindfulness in nature and other ways. Afterward, reflect on what you can learn from the experience.