You're coaching an executive resistant to change. How do you effectively give constructive feedback?

“Resistance to change” is a biased statement that assumes change is positive and that a refusal to support change is wrong and an obstacle. I call this the progressive fallacy - that change means progress and if you are against it you are the problem. Coaches should be careful about accepting such statements without challenge. Maybe the executive has a point?

Coaching an executive resistant to change requires a tactful approach. It's important to start by building trust and working toward an understanding of their perspective. Spend time highlighting the benefits of change, using data to support your points. Approach feedback with empathy and frame it as an opportunity for growth. Use "we" language to foster a sense of partnership. Offer specific examples of how the change can lead to positive outcomes for the team and the organization. Remember, persistence and patience are key. By showing that you’re invested in their success, you can help them see the value in adapting to new ways.

More often than not, the resistance stems from some experience in the past that has shaken the confidence of the executive and even though they understand change is needed, they freeze at the very thought of taking the required action. Over time, the root cause gets covered with more experiences. As a coach, we need to get them to share their experience and how they felt and keep going down in steps, focusing on the feeling and emotion. It's like peeling off layers of an onion and can take time. At each step, encourage the executive to acknowledge what has happened. Then, show them how to reframe the experience to make it one of growth and seeing things from a different perspective.

Understanding resistance step will help you to connect with the executive. With empathy, you can identify and feel the exact emotion of the executive and the need of the executive. this may help you to give solutions/provide help in better way

A great deal of my coaching involves asking questions to reveal--both to me and to the clients I'm coaching--what lies beneath resistance or strong views. Often, strong feeling sit in unprocessed feelings or experiences, so sorting through those--in a safe, compassionate, curious way--can often help people see that they don't actually need to hold quite as tightly to their viewpoint. Clients generally express a lot of relief in doing so. Once we move through that, there's a lot of space for growth.

In my experience, it's crucial to choose examples that are not only relevant but also showcase my problem-solving skills and adaptability. I focus on sharing stories where I overcame challenges or learned from setbacks, making my answers more relatable and impactful. I ensure these examples are concise and highlight specific skills and achievements that align with the job requirements. This approach not only demonstrates my experience but also underscores my ability to learn and grow, which is highly valued in any role.

I've found it's critical for me, as a coach, not to have a preconceived notion of what the client "should" do. I frequently tell my clients, you're the hero of your own life, and you know yourself best. I'm just a guide. I mean this. If clients don't feel they're being faced with an agenda--and that their feelings are being acknowledged, validated, and understood--they're far more likely to drop defensive postures and look at their own situation more objectively. You really can't get very far without having that trust element in place, and if you can't find it, you may not be a good fit for that person.

Create a sacred space for the executive to share their experiences in complete confidentiality and safety. Share your own experiences that the executive can relate to. If they ask how you dealt with the change, then tell them about it and steer the conversation to encourage them to plan their next baby step towards change. Always acknowledge their small steps towards change and work with them for bigger steps that would take them out of their comfort zone but give a bigger win. When trust is established, make sure any feedback you give is without judgement and focused on improving their strengths, not highlighting their weaknesses.

in next section I am sharing the steps of sharing the feedback. The second step where we share the intention, why we are sharing the feedback and how it is going to help the executive, this step helps to build the trust

Feedback model should be 1) Real Time Feedback 2) Explain your intention. explain how the feedback is beneficial for executive 3) Share your observations, exactly what happened. do not merge your thinking/judgments 4) Ask for what consequences will be there if the similar instances are repeated 5) Offer help; if executive needs any help to improve upon 6) Hand shake: to show the gesture that you are with executive, once the feedback is resolved, it is resolved, nothing personal. We are together....

Encouraging reflection helps the executive to internalize feedback, understand the deeper reasons behind their resistance, and develop a more open and adaptable mindset toward change. Self-awareness is essential for fostering long-term personal and professional growth. Having the executive reflect on hypothetical scenarios where change is inevitable is necessary. Discuss potential outcomes and ask them to consider how different responses to change could impact their career and the organization. Share stories or case studies of other leaders who successfully navigated change and discuss these examples; these examples can help the executive see the practical benefits of adaptability and openness to new approaches.

In my experience, some of the most effective questions I ask clients when they're deeply tied to a position or outcome is 1) how does that benefit you/what do you get out of it? (This helps me understand aspects of their experience I may not have considered.) and 2) What is maintaining this stance costing you? (This helps them understand aspects of their experience that they may not have considered.) No matter what, it's a great jumping off point for conversation where they feel safe enough to really explore.

You're facing an executive resistant to change and you've laid the groundwork, built trust, and understand their perspective. Together, you explore the roots of resistance, crafting a plan that honors their concerns while pushing for growth. The real transformation happens in the follow-up. Each check-in creates space for reflection, progress, and accountability - a reminder that change is an ongoing journey requiring consistent effort. As you walk this path together, resistance fades, replaced by openness and commitment to personal and organizational growth.

Celebrating progress is equally important like sharing feedback when something went wrong. This increase morale of the team and build a trust with seniors

When coaching an executive resistant to change, tailor your feedback to their personality type. If they value logic and results, emphasize data and outcomes. If they prioritize relationships, highlight how changes can improve team dynamics. By aligning feedback with their core motivations, you increase receptivity and effectiveness.

When coaching an executive resistant to change, build rapport and show empathy. Begin by highlighting their strengths and achievements to create a positive foundation. Provide specific, concrete examples of areas needing improvement, backed by data and evidence. Emphasize the benefits of change, highlighting positive outcomes. Take a collaborative approach by involving them in finding solutions and setting goals. Offer support with resources and assistance for making changes. Follow up regularly to monitor progress and provide additional feedback. This approach encourages openness to change in a positive environment.

When a client resists change, I am curious to understand the underlying reasons. I also consider their original commitment level at the start of our engagement to see if something has changed in their motivation for change or if their goals have changed. With my background in I/O Psychology, I often use 360 feedback or Hogan assessments to provide the feedback that is needed to relay this effectively. The delivery and debrief conversation are paramount to provide the safe space to let the client have a rection but dig deep to understand alternative perspectives to increase their leadership effectiveness. Perception is reality as they say.