Your client is getting too comfortable. How can you set boundaries and maintain professionalism?

The first step is to identify the specific behaviours that make you feel uncomfortable. Are they sharing too much personal information? Are they expecting after-hours communication or social interaction? Once you pinpoint the specific issues, you can address them more effectively.

We are coaching humans that happen to work. It's not realistic or helpful to enforce strict separation of church and state since often personal issues are the root cause of professional challenges, and vice versa. However, if you notice discomfort, the first place to look is at oneself. What's coming up for us in that discomfort? What are we doing/how are we being that might be blurring the lines? Share your observations with your client. This can be a great coaching arena to explore where else blurring might be happening with their team.

Notice if the client begins to treat you more as a friend than a professional, such as using overly casual language, making personal requests, or sharing too much personal information. Monitor if sessions start deviating from professional topics to personal conversations, and observe their response to constructive feedback. Evaluate if the client contacts you outside of agreed-upon hours or through personal channels, and be aware of any expectation shifts for favors or special treatment. Address these signs promptly and professionally, reiterating the importance of maintaining a professional relationship and clarifying necessary boundaries for effective coaching.

Getting comfortable with your executive coach isn't a bad thing if it encourages honesty and transparency. But the risks could be 1) less focus on professional goals during the sessions, and 2) reduced client motivation -- because clients stay in their comfort zone + feel less accountable for making progress + exploring new solutions. To counteract this: Bring in trusted tools + "mental models" to continually re-frame the client's situation objectively. The models provide formal frameworks for action. This helps remove any excess informality from the equation. These tools can be as simple as a SWOT analysis or as complex as a 360 Feedback. Personality assessments can offer the same benefits -- MBTI, HBDI, Clifton Strengths.

This is inevitably going to happen if you do a great job at creating trust, safety, and dependability. The client will feel you are one of the safest people to confide in: even more so than their personal therapist! The key signs I look for: 1) Sharing too much personal information (marriage, sexual life, family etc.) that impacts the job at hand, however, doesn't enrich the decision-making required to do the job. 2) Swearing too much and using casual language. 3) Calling you or texting you outside pre-agreed consultations. 4) Following you on personal social media channels rather than professional.

Ensure all creative or practical ideas are articulated clearly and comprehensively, with specific details, objectives, and expected outcomes. Foster open dialogue, encourage questions and feedback, and use visual aids like charts and diagrams to illustrate complex concepts. Please update stakeholders on the progress made in decision-making to maintain transparency and alignment. Executive coaching helps clients balance innovative ideas with practical considerations by emphasizing clear communication, leading to well-informed and successful decisions.

This is a delicate balance. If the client is feeling comfy with you, you want to control the frame: 1) Thank them for sharing the info they have shared. This acknowledgement goes a long way. Especially if they don't feel they can 'confide' or 'let loose' with anyone else. 2) Redirect the conversation towards the outcome. If you have a structured approach to your session (progress, problems, priorities), then this shouldn't be a challenge. Often, the client will have gotten a few things off their chest and will reframe themselves back to the topic at hand. I love using the "Even though frame" - "Got it. Now, even though that is happing outside of work, what is it you want to achieve for your career and business now?" 3)

A gentle but firm conversation is key. Choose a calm moment during a session and explain, using "I" statements, how their behaviour is impacting the professional dynamic. For example, "I appreciate you sharing your personal experiences, but to maintain clear boundaries, let's focus on work-related topics during our sessions."

In the early stages it self identify your own needs and expectations and that of your clients. Communicate that clearly. Involving your clients in setting up standards and expectations that will help avoid infringement later on . Build trust. Be empathetic yet be mindful of emotional boundaries , including sexual boundaries , time and space etc.Never allow your clients to use you to dump emotionally. Encourage autonomy. Be a professional with integrity. Learn to be assertive and learn to tell no without hurting. Always retain your identity as a coach. Never assume you can solve all the problems of your clients. Finally never compromise on values.

The most important lesson IMO! I had to learn this over the years: the onboarding/kick-off frame is what sets the tone (and modus operandi) for the coaching relationship. In my profession as a early-stage startup executive coach, I ensure the frame is all about "Moving the needle anyway" - I state that I won't force them to meditate, learn a new curriculum ahead of time, or sit in the corner and process emotion. However, if difficult emotions and personal challenges come up, I won't run away from them either. That way, they know it is a safe space to process, but it is clear what we are here to do: win the market and generate alpha! This helps you avoid the slippery slope of becoming their therapist. Though, coaching can be therapeutic.

Establish clear criteria and benchmarks for evaluating creative ideas and practical solutions, ensuring they align with organizational goals and quality requirements. Encourage clients to consistently measure proposed ideas against these standards and foster a culture of excellence by emphasizing adherence. Provide tools and frameworks for systematic assessment and regularly review and update standards to reflect industry best practices. By upholding high standards, executive coaching ensures that creative solutions are innovative and practical, leading to sustainable and effective outcomes.

So much value in executive coaching is what you do 'out of session.' What clients pay for us is a highly tuned objective, present, and attentive state of mind. That means things like hygiene, dealing with your own emotional insecurities, planning beforehand, thinking through how else you can optimize the client's efforts, and ensuring you aren't burned out. I call this the inner game of executive coaching.

When the client devolves into boundary breaking behavior, they are normally NOT in their adult state of decision-making. They have age regressed to a less resourceful state. That means, you have to get their adult back online or more likely than not they are going to do some form of parental or familial transference (projection). Sometimes, being direct is important. For example, saying directly, "First off, I am not your mother. We are here to help you succeed in business. And your are a mature, talent, capable adult, are you not?" This can help shake them loose from their state.

Identify potential obstacles early in the process and encourage clients to anticipate and analyze these challenges. Develop strategic plans to mitigate risks and overcome barriers, ensuring creative solutions remain feasible. Promote open communication to allow team members to voice concerns and collaboratively brainstorm solutions. Equip clients with problem-solving tools and techniques to navigate difficulties. By proactively addressing challenges, executive coaching helps clients balance innovation with practicality, ensuring that creative ideas can be successfully implemented and sustained.

Encourage clients to regularly reflect on their decisions and outcomes, analyzing what worked well and what didn’t. Use these reflections to adapt strategies and approaches, fostering a mindset of continuous improvement. Implement feedback loops where clients can receive input from team members and stakeholders, allowing real-time adjustments. Promote a learning culture where successes and failures are seen as opportunities for growth. By consistently reflecting on and adapting their methods, clients can balance innovative ideas with practical execution, leading to more effective and sustainable decisions.

Client comfort is a good sign, but if they become too comfortable, it may be necessary to reinforce contract terms. It's also important to prioritize your well-being and professional needs, as setting boundaries protects your time and energy. Demonstrate the level of professionalism you expect from your client, as your behavior sets the standard. If boundaries are crossed, address the issues immediately and firmly, yet politely, to emphasize the importance of maintaining professionalism.

Thank you for sharing these valuable insights! Intuition and empathy are indeed crucial skills for a coach. Clear communication and defined boundaries are equally important to maintain a professional and productive relationship. Balancing support with professionalism ensures both the coach and client can achieve their goals effectively. Great reminder!