What do you do if your vocal coaching sessions are filled with conflicts and issues?
As a vocal coach, you want to help your clients improve their singing skills and achieve their goals. But sometimes, your sessions can be filled with conflicts and issues that hinder your progress and damage your relationship. How can you deal with these situations and maintain a positive and productive coaching environment? Here are some tips to help you.
The first step to resolving any conflict is to understand what is causing it. Is it a mismatch of expectations, a lack of communication, a personality clash, or a technical problem? Try to listen to your client's perspective and empathize with their feelings. Ask open-ended questions and clarify any misunderstandings. Avoid making assumptions or judgments and focus on the facts and the goals.
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Pour résoudre un problème il faut toujours d'abord identifier la cause du problème. C'est une règle basique que j'applique à presque tout. Une fois que tu identifies le nœud il est plus simple de mettre en place des actions concrètes pour le délier. Dans le cas d'espère l'écoute active, l'empathie et la communication sont de précieuses clés.
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I have seen that in order to get to source of conflict, we must see conflict as we would a weed. What is on the surface of the soil is only part of the picture, we must be willing to get into the soil and understand the roots. If we attempt to simply "manage" the conflict, we end up only chopping the weed off at the top, leaving the roots. If this happens, we have missed the opportunity to explore the true source. It is only by being curious, asking questions, and digging into the soil (which I believe to be the culture), we can begin to understand the source of conflict. Learning through metaphor and seeing conflict as an opportunity instead of a burden, is the first step.
To prevent conflicts from escalating or recurring, you need to set some boundaries and rules for your coaching sessions. These can include the frequency, duration, and format of your sessions, the payment and cancellation policies, the feedback and evaluation methods, and the roles and responsibilities of both parties. Make sure you communicate these clearly and agree on them with your client. You can also create a written contract or agreement that outlines these terms and conditions.
Feedback is essential for vocal coaching, but it can also be a source of conflict if it is not delivered or received well. To avoid hurting your client's feelings or triggering their defensiveness, you need to use constructive feedback that is specific, balanced, and actionable. This means you should praise what they are doing well, point out what they need to improve, and suggest how they can do it. You should also invite your client to share their feedback on your coaching style and approach and be open to their suggestions.
Conflict can be emotionally draining and stressful for both you and your client. To avoid losing your temper or saying something you might regret, you need to manage your emotions and stay calm and professional. You can do this by taking deep breaths, pausing before you speak, using positive language, and expressing your emotions in a respectful way. You can also take a break or reschedule your session if you feel overwhelmed or frustrated.
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Keeping emotions in check during sessions, especially during conflicts, is vital as it prevents energy drain and maintains focus, key traits of a good coach. By staying composed, you impress clients, foster learning, and strengthen the coach-client bond, leading to more effective sessions and better outcomes overall.
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you might not be able to resolve a conflict with your client on your own. In that case, you might need to seek support or mediation from a third party, such as a colleague, a mentor, a supervisor, or a mediator. They can help you by providing an objective perspective, facilitating a dialogue, offering advice, or suggesting solutions. However, you should only do this with your client's consent and respect their privacy and confidentiality.
Finally, every conflict is an opportunity to learn and grow as a vocal coach and as a person. You can use the experience to reflect on your strengths and weaknesses, your communication and leadership skills, your coaching methods and strategies, and your client's needs and preferences. You can also ask for feedback from your client or your support person on how you handled the situation and what you can do better next time. By learning from the experience, you can improve your vocal coaching sessions and prevent or reduce future conflicts and issues.
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It’s always saying something- not always that you the coach are wrong either, many have aspirations above their willingness to do the work, and sometimes you outgrow clients and feel unfulfilled as a coach - you don’t have to stay in situations that don’t work and at the same time conflicts arise because the student is conflicted. Voice coaches end up as unpaid therapists and that’s not great either - I studied psychology while teaching and that’s when I realised the better we qualify and create healthy boundaries the more mature we become at handling conflicts. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of conflict at times, it gets the truth in the table - but if as a voice coach you find you are fast becoming a helping nice therapist - stop.
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