How do you set and communicate clear and realistic expectations and boundaries with your coach or mentor?

Love goals but in reality you have a coach because you actually don’t know what you need let alone how will you measure and track progress over perfection. A few years ago I started investing time in vision casting the desired state I wanted to experience or become. From their a coach can help you define the strategy that will work and build in the resources that will be required.

SMART goals are great, though they don't always include the inner work necessary that isn't so easily definable or measurable. Most coaching relationships stay in the intellectual realm, though the body is an instrument that is often ignored, untuned and certainly not engaged in the process of manifesting the goal or vision in concert.

It's common for individuals to come to coaching without knowing their vision, values and mission. In fact, this is often the reason people seek out coaching in the first place. Don't be afraid to create SMART goals related to these elements to help kick-start the process. I believe coaching involves aligning one's head, heart and gut. Goals that speak to all three will super charge your growth.

Defining goals is crucial to the success of any coaching or mentoring relationship. Without them, you’re essentially operating a ship without a rutter and no direction. So, the importance of clearly defining goals can't be overstated. Without this critical first step, any coaching or mentoring efforts will lack direction and focus. Too, setting clear and SMART goals is the cornerstone of any productive relationship with a coach or mentor. SMART goals are the driving force behind our actions and provide the necessary clarity to make effective decisions. The beauty of setting a SMART goal is that it's both ambitious and realistic. This balance prevents us from setting vague or unattainable targets which leads to better results and outcomes.

When the specific goal is not clear, I like to ask "What threshold are you looking to crossover"?. The notion of crossing thresholds indicates a significant shift or breakthrough. Essentially reaching a point where they have surpassed a previous limit or barrier and entered a new phase of growth, self-awareness or understanding. It often means a fundamental shift in mindset, behavior or perspective that allows them to break-free from self-limiting beliefs, gain clarity and unlock potential. The question may seem awkward at first, but if you are patient and hold presence, remarkable insight will emerge.

The first step I take as a coach or mentor is to create Declarations of Understanding--my desires and expectations of him/her and his/her desires and expectations of me. This includes our individual roles and responsibilities but so much more. Confidentiality, Respect and Communication are always elements of our declarations.

Be sure to ask about the approach your coach takes, and have them explain how a typical session flows. Some coaches use a mix of coaching, advising, training, and mentoring during their work with clients. Understanding your coach's approach will help you define boundaries, expectations, and responsibilities. As the relationship evolves, circle back to these items periodically because they will change.

Often, I find that my clients aren’t always entirely sure what kind of support they need and whether it is Coaching or Mentoring - or some other intervention. Clients come to Coaching because they have a problem that needs addressing. It is the coach’s job to unravel enough during a discovery session to understand what the client wants and needs, and then reach an agreement with the client as to whether Coaching is the best way forward.

In a coaching or mentoring relationship, understanding roles, expectations, and boundaries is important. This isn't a passive or one-sided interaction, but a dynamic, two-way relationship requiring active participation from both parties. As a coach, my role is to challenge and guide clients toward finding solutions that work for them to overcome challenges and move toward their goals. As a mentor, here's where I provide guidance based on my own experiences and wisdom. In either role, the responsibilities and expectations of both parties, including the frequency of meetings, completion of assignments (yes there are assignments), and rules regarding confidentiality must be clearly defined to ensure a productive and trusting relationship.

Rather than agreeing to all this ahead of time, I meet my coaching clients where they're at presently and bring in the appropriate tools and processes to lift them to their next level of success and fulfillment. Each client has their own unique needs, knowledge, skills, and circumstances they are facing. So, I have found that "one size does not fit all" the same way with the same timing. I have learned to trust my intuition when guiding the next steps I suggest to my clients as their coach and mentor.

As a coach and mentor, I encourage my clients to solidify their purpose, values, and mission. However, when it comes to vision, goals, objectives, strategies, and action plans, I suggest they keep them moldable as clay to adapt to changing circumstances and new information they discover.

Progress entails a variety of measurements in quite different, yet contiguous, ways. Although many set practical and pragmatic metrics, imperative for the process to be productive, there is also an inner aspect that goes along with the definable metrics. The whole body is involved in the process of achievement, which includes the 'sense' of movement and the feeling of ascending into a new living awareness as a result. Those are subtle indicators not often measureable in traditional ways. The goals is not just accomplishments, it is the sensation of achievement that is fulfilling. If that isn't included, the success will only be temporary and transitory.

I believe that coaching requires the utmost confidentiality and vulnerability to really move the client forward. The power in coaching is allowing the coachee to feel comfortable enough to really explore the things they are pretending not to see, feel or know. A great coach and pull out what the coachee doesn't say using a great deal of active listening, empathy and intuition. Feeling 'with' the coachee as they are talking helps dial into what the real hurdles and barriers are to them achieving their goals.

Coaching is very much like tutoring. It's about strengthening areas that might not be as robust as others. It's about taking what already exists and making it better, honing those skills so that they're sharp and effective. The beauty of coaching lies in a coach's ability to provide personalized strategies and tools to help individuals enhance their performance. Just as a tutor works with a student to improve their understanding of a subject, a coach works with an individual to strengthen their skill set. But it's important to note that the onus of growth and results remain with the individual. A coach provides the tools, insights, and strategies, but the real work of learning and growing must be done by the person being coached.

Powerful coaching partnerships happen when both parties understand and commit fully to the process. Accelerated growth happens when you take what comes out of a coaching conversation and apply it to your life. The power is not in the insight itself, but what you do with it. I've found there to be 10 key ingredients to a successful coaching alliance: confidentiality, willingness, openness, trust, belief, truth, love, humility, curiosity, and a dash of humour.