Health Headlines: How to cope with cancer as a couple

SAN DIEGO, CALIF. (Ivanhoe Newswire) - A cancer diagnosis is life-changing, not only for the people who are diagnosed, but also for their loved ones. Often relationships are impacted by the stress of the unknown. Now, a new one-of-a-kind program has been developed to help couples cope with cancer together.

Denise and Kim Griffin are celebrating 29 sweet years together. But their relationship was tested when Denise was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer.

Denise says, “It was in seven lymph nodes and now it’s spread to my spine and my bones.”

They were faced with creating a new normal.

Kim says, “I knew I had a new role to play.”

City of Hope is helping couples with a first-of-its-kind counseling program. Lynne Thomas, Social Worker at City of Hope says, “What happens often for a person when they’re going through treatment is they lose so much control.”

“I want him not to control my life. I wanna live my life.” Says Denise.

And remember to choose words wisely.

Denise says, “He was saying that he was my caregiver, and I don’t feel like he’s my caregiver.”

Thomas says, “They came up with another name, she said, ‘I see you as my support person.’”

Kim says, “The number one thing I learned in the counseling is to communicate.”

Denise says, “I think I’ve learned that I can open up, but he hears me more.”

Also, don’t feel like you have to fix every problem.

Thomas says, “Just listen. Don’t minimize it. Don’t dismiss it.”

And don’t let the cancer become your only connection.

“Understanding what makes your partner feel alive, what gives them quality of life.” Says, Thomas.

Kim and Denise built a rock garden of love.

Denise says, “I said instead of giving me flowers, paint a rock for me.”

Reminding them every day what is important.

Denise says, “We don’t let one day go by that we don’t tell each other that we love them.”

The program started with breast cancer patients and is now expanding to patients diagnosed with gastrointestinal and lung cancers, and their partners.  City of Hope wants to see their program spread nationally and internationally.

Contributors to this news report include: Marsha Lewis, Producer; Kyle Fisher, Editor, Matt Goldschmidt, Videographer.

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