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Ask Kim: ‘Help! My brother-in-law is spying on us’
“Dear Kim,
“My brother-in-law has our family cottage wired with a Ring security system. He is not to be trusted as he has been unfaithful to his wife and she has filed for divorce. My family is very suspicious that we are being watched or listened to all the time.
“The cottage belongs to three families, and we don’t feel comfortable talking inside or outside. I know the Ring system can record — my brother-in-law is a software engineer and this is his hobby … Creepy AF. What should we do?“
— Sonia in Indianapolis, Indiana
Dear Sonia,
Before we get into the tech weeds on this one, let me say I’m sorry you’re in such a tough situation. When someone breaks your trust, it’s natural to assume there are other ways they may be lying or sneaking around.
If the relationship is one where you can all still sit down and chat, I’d start there. Get all the co-owners together to talk about what surveillance devices you’re all comfortable with. A front door camera is one thing. I can tell what you’re worried about are cameras (that record audio, too) across the house and in the areas outside where everyone spends time.
Now, things can get a little tricky here since multiple families share ownership of the cottage — especially if your brother-in-law can’t be part of the conversation. It’s really not overkill to chat with a lawyer about what your rights are around disabling or removing the cameras altogether.
Let’s say you do decide to lock things down
Start with the router. It’s the key to every connected device in the cottage, so if you reset that (and kick your BIL off), you’re one step closer to privacy. For directions on doing this, look up your router’s manual or search for “model name + factory reset.”
If the cameras belong to all of you, factory reset those, too. Add them to a new account you set up yourself. Since this is a shared property, I suggest you disable audio recording permanently so everyone can feel more comfortable.
In the meantime
Do a thorough scan of the property. You need to know what you’re working with. Spy cams can certainly be hard to spot, but most consumer-grade stuff is easy enough to find when you have time to search.
- Step 1: Find all the cameras. Rings are too big to hide in tiny spots, so these should be visible. Look for them inside and outside, and that includes the doorbell. You can disconnect the power supply.
- Step 2: For good measure change your Wi-Fi password. You’ll have to reconnect all your smart devices — meaning they are no longer connected to record and stream footage to who-knows-who.
- Step 3: Do a sweep for other hidden cameras and microphones, too. Keep an eye out for small holes, strange objects or electronics that seem out of place. You can also use an RF detector to scan for hidden wireless tech. They pick up signals so you might stumble upon something you won’t see.
What else can I do?
A white noise machine might make you feel better since it muffles a recording. If you’re not able to reset or remove any cameras installed in the home yet, you can always put electrical tape or covers over them.
I’d set up my own security system, too, just in case he comes snooping around. Make sure you only share the login information with folks you can trust.
If you need to have a truly private conversation, for now, I’d go to the car or walk out of hearing/recording distance of the cottage. It stinks to have to tiptoe around your own property, so I sure hope you can come to a resolution as a family. Good luck!
Tags: camera, car, device, devices, family, Hidden cameras, home, login information, privacy, relationship, router, security, security system, small, smart devices, software, spying, Surveillance, tech, White Noise, Wi, Wi-Fi
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