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Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)

1/10

12 August 2024

Let me explain the title of my review: I'm not an atheist, I'm a very devout Christian. I am not saying that the life of Christ is a lie. Jesus Christ Superstar the MOVIE is what's a lie. I'm more familiar with a version of it from 2000, but the 1973 one (which I have seen once) is more popular, so I am putting my review here.

Biblically speaking, Jesus was God and man in the flesh, but this movie treats him as just a man. In this musical with just singing and no spoken dialogue, many songs contain this theological heresy.

In "I Don't Know How To Love Him", Mary Magdelene says Jesus is just a man. In songs like "Heaven On Their Minds", Judas pretty much asks Jesus if He really thinks He's more than just a man.

On top of that, when some lepers come to Jesus and ask to be healed, He tells them: "There are too many of you, be gone!" Um, is this the same guy who helped 10 lepers, one of whom thanked Him? Is this the guy who fed 5,000 people and discouraged His FOLLOWERS from turning them away?

In the song "Gethsemane", Jesus asks God "Why should I die?" Dude, that's your purpose- to die on the cross for the sins of mankind. That was your message. Yes, Jesus did ask in the garden of Gethsemane for God to "let this cup pass from me" (Matt. 26: 39) if it was God's will, but He understood that was what He was dying for. Jesus was hoping for there to be another way, but He never asked, "WHY should I die?"

Then He asks: "Would I be more noticed than I ever was before? Would the things I've said and done matter anymore?" Jesus stated many times that He came to save the world from sin, such as to Nicodemus in John 3. He knew that He came to die for our sins. He never thought that He would die for literally nothing!

I could give more examples, but you get the idea. The other 1 star reviewers have given more examples, so please add them on top of my review.

Martin Scorsese did a movie to explore Jesus's humanity- it was called The Last Temptation of Christ, and was heavily controversial by non-viewers. That's not theologically perfect either, but that was to show how Jesus would struggle with His fate to die for mankind. For what it attempts to do, I think that movie is beautiful.

The difference between JCS and Last Temptation is this- Last Temptation, which was directed by a Catholic and warns that it's not intended to be a Bible adaptation, dares to show a Jesus who struggles with being 100% God and 100% man. He knows over time that He is God's Son- even though He knows this at age 12 in The Gospels. It takes a "what-if" approach to the struggle of being God and man at once.

Jesus Christ Superstar, which uses scenes from The Bible, says Jesus was just a man, who simply thought Himself to be God. Tim Rice, who wrote the songs and does not belong to any faith (not quite an atheist, but not a believer), even says that he sees Jesus as just a man and that was his intent with writing the play of which this film is based on. Maybe someone who views Jesus like THAT shouldn't be making a musical about Him.

Jesus Christ Superstar may be popular, but it shouldn't be. How there's Christians who praise this is unknown to me. I once liked it myself, and I regret that now. It's super, alright. Super blasphemous.

Reverse Recommendations: Better Jesus movies include (but are not limited to and listed in no order): The Gospel Road, The King of Kings (1927), The Passion of the Christ, The Greatest Story Ever Told, The Jesus Film, Jesus of Nazareth, The Visual Bible: Matthew, Son of God, and The Gospel of John. In fact, my favorite Biblical movie, and movie in general, is Pasolini's The Gospel According To St. Matthew. I recommend that one above any other Jesus movie.

Note: Some have noted that there is no resurrection scene. I've heard you can see him walking towards the bus at the very end, but I myself am not sure of this. Yes, I said BUS. Did I mention that this movie is set in the desert and yet there's buses and pool parties?

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The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

10/10

A Dark And Underrated Masterpiece. Although, The G Rating Is Inaccurate.

1 August 2024

I had The Hunchback of Notre Dame on VHS as a kid. I watched it a time or 2, but hardly at all then. In fact, when I was 12, I remember putting some Disney tapes in a bin to put in a future garage sale, and I put this one in there. It just didn't appeal to me as much as Toy Story or The Great Mouse Dectective.

Fast forward a few years, where I watched it a couple times in high school, and to the end of 2017, where I bought it on DVD. It became my favorite Disney movie (now topped by Toy Story) and regardless, it is one of the most underrated works from Disney.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame, loosely based on the Victor Hugo novel, centers on Quasimodo, who is deformed and raised by a self-righteous yet wicked judge and church leader named Frollo, who hides him in the church bell tower to shield him from the world, who would be repulsed by his ugliness.

When Quasimodo is 20 years old, he decides to defy Frollo and go to a festival, where he is in fact humiliated, but also meets Esmeralda, a gypsy who befriends him and a soldier named Pheobus, who work together when Frollo declares a plan to kill all the gypsies in Paris.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame has many merits, from the animation to the voice work (including Tom Hulce, Tony Jay, Demi Moore, Jason Alexander, and Kevin Kline) to the songs. (Also look out for a guard with the voice of Patrick from Spongebob.)

Hunchback also has great music. 2 of the songs that stand out to me are the opening song, The Bells of Notre Dame, which nicely sets up why Quasimodo lives with Frollo in the bell tower in 5 minutes without dragging the pace. I also love Hellfire, where Frollo struggles with desire for Esmeralda, and fears that erotic desire will send him to Hell (but not killing gypsies).

As a Christian, one of the aspects I love about Hunchback is how religion is portrayed. Frollo, one of the best written villains in the Disney canon, thinks that just because he is a leader of the church, anything he does is okay as long as it's done in the name of God- murdering gypsies is just ridding the world of sin. However, when he struggles with lust, he can't justify it and fears eternal fire...unless the one causing him to lust is killed.

Frollo is a clear example of religious hyprocrisy (his final words and downfall are chef's kiss in irony as well), however there are good models for Christians too, such as The Archdeacon (voiced by David Odgen Stiers, who also voiced Cogsworth and Radcliffe in Beauty and the Beast and Pocahantas respectively) and even Esmeralda, who while NOT a Christian, still sings God Help The Outcast, a selfless prayer for her people.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame is also a bit dark, surprising for a G rated movie. While Frozen and Inside Out are rated PG, this kids movie with lust, geoncide, evil church leaders, and the burnings of bulidings got the rating of "all ages admitted." That's 1996 for you.

While I caution towards toddler-ranged kids from seeing it, I see benefit from the next age group and up from seeing it, as it gives a glimpse of our imperfect world and, for Christian kids, it will show the difference of saying you're a Christian and actually being one, a unique lesson from a company that makes secular movies.

I've seen Hunchback roughly 10 times in my life, and at my age I don't see anything that I would criticize about it. I think it is one of the most perfect movies that Disney has made. Worthy of a G rating? No. Dark? Sure, but it is an underrated masterpiece nonetheless.

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Kinsey (2004)

10/10

One Of Neeson's Best Performances Is That Of A Controversial Man.

29 July 2024

Warning: Sexual topics are discussed that are unsuitable for some readers.

Kinsey tells the true story of Alfred Kinsey, a biologist who's life focus was on studying human sexuality. He was a very controversial figure then and now, but his story is nonetheless very intriguing and says a lot about our modern views on sex.

Kinsey, played by Liam Neeson in a performance up there with Oskar Schindler, studies the sexual behavior of numerous people across the country- and in his findings he discovers that most people have had same sex encounters, affairs, kinks, numerous orgasms, and acted on sexual perversions ranging from beastiailty to pedophilia.

His findings, which he publishes in a book ("Sexual Behavior In The Human Male", of which he later published a female counterpart), rouses controversy, especially from another professor who teaches abstinence is best, while Kinsey believes humans should engage in whatever sexual desires they have, and that they don't due to societal expecations (primiarly sex between a married man and woman.)

It's no wonder that Kinsey was such a controversial figure, but it goes beyond what the movie explores. (I'll dig into this shortly.) Still, Kinsey's findings have made understanding of sexuality more deeper for better or for worse.

Kinsey is primarily about the research of Alfred, but it also digs into the complexities it made in his marriage and social circle. His marriage is made complex by staying away from home and engaging in a gay encounter, while he also later gives his wife permission to have sex with another man (something he declares healthy.)

He also causes concern in his rival professor, and his father, a Methodist preacher who dislikes his son's preaching on sexual ethics. The actors used to portray this, Laura Linney, John Lithgow, and so forth, do a convincing job in their portrayals.

As I said, this movie has controversy about the findings of Kinsey. One key scene showing this is where he interviews one man who reports (AND I CAUTION YOU HERE) that he can erect and ejaculate 10 seconds into masturbating (and he immeadiately proves it), that he's had sex with half his family, numerous animals, and even hundreds of preteen boys and girls. Kinsey finds this fascinating, rather than repulsive, and this man is not reported for his confessions.

Apparently, this is not all Kinsey discovered. Other IMDB reviews have given this 1 star because this movie doesn't dive into some other of his more horrific studies, like in how fast a pedophile can make an infant orgasm when penetrated.

While that is completely repulsive, I think it makes sense that topics like this were avoided- after all, this movie most likely would have never been made had they included scenes like that.

Considering that such perversions are mentioned, I don't see the movie HIDING the fact that Kinsey did such disgusting research.

So why did I give this movie a 10 if it's about a man who made such analysises? Because regardless, Kinsey has excellent performances, an intriguing story, and it shows that Kinsey made many discoveries that have shaped our views on sexuality- again, for better and for worse- and that's something to ponder. That's what a 10 star film does, it makes you think about it long after it ends.

(His work, as hinted in the movie, has led to pre-martial sex, affairs, and abortions. Although, it does show that nocturnal emissions and orgasms are nothing to be ashamed of.)

Regardless, Kinsey is a fascinating portrayal of sexuality in Americans and how those views shape our views in 2004, and now- 20 years later.

There is an amusing scene where Kinsey has published his book, and a reporter asks him if he'd like it to be made into a movie. Kinsey responds: "I can't think of anything more pointless." If Kinsey had gotten to see this film, I think he'd change his mind.

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Alice in Wonderland (1951)

10/10

I Rarely Saw This As A Kid, But It's Fun Even As An Adult.

22 July 2024

Growing up, I saw plenty of the classic Disney movies, from Aladdin To Beauty and the Beast to Cinderella to Dumbo to everything in-between. We owned most of them on VHS and some on DVD with few exceptions- like The Jungle Book or The Emperor's New Groove.

Alice In Wonderland was another exception. I think I saw it on TV once when I was maybe 5 years old, but that was pretty much it since we didn't own it. I had a friend who owned it and in high school we watched it since neither of us had seen it in ages.

So while I've seen Toy Story and Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin countless times, today I just watched Alice In Wonderland for the 3rd time in 25 years of living. Regardless, it is still a wonderful animated movie from Disney.

Alice In Wonderland follows a girl named Alice, who falls asleep and dreams of a land where nothing makes sense- animals talk, a cat can stand on its head, a man and rabbit celebrate the days they were NOT born on, and a Queen beheads anyone who spoils her temper. All the while, Alice tries to get back home and out of this strange world that she has landed in.

Alice In Wonderland could easily be compared to The Wizard of Oz, which was released 12 years earlier. Both films have girls in blue dresses entering strange lands in dreams and trying to get home.

Unlike The Wizard of Oz though, and this is my minor complaint, Alice doesn't really learn anything. Dorothy learns that the farm is the best life for her, Alice has no moral learned, even when she could have learned that imagination has its place, but there are times to set it aside.

That said, I suppose not every movie requires a moral, so it's not really that big of a deal. I'm more or less just noting this rather than critiquing it.

Alice In Wonderland is beautifully animated, with many images like Alice's dress, some flowers that she befriends, and other creatures are lovely to look at, it's quite pleasant to view.

The cast is also grand- including actors that would appear in other Disney movies. For instance, Kathyrn Beaumont, who voices Alice in her first role, would voice Wendy in the next animated Disney film- Peter Pan.

Ed Wynn voices The Mad Hatter, and he would later play Uncle Albert in Mary Poppins and play parts in other Disney live action works like Son of Flubber.

Verna Felton voices The Queen of Hearts, she is also famous for roles like Jumbo in Dumbo, Aunt Sarah in Lady and the Tramp, the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella, and Flora and the Queen in Sleeping Beauty. (She also passed away a day before Walt Disney did.)

Alice In Wonderland also has some nice songs, like Golden Afternoon and The Unbirthday Song. While I wouldn't say Alice In Wonderland has the catchiest or most memorable songs in a Disney film, they are decent and serve the story well.

To use a common phrase today, I wouldn't call Alice In Wonderland "Top Tier Disney", but it is pleasant, fun, and beautiful to look at. Apart from the fact that the plot has no point (again, a quibble, not a flaw), Alice In Wonderland is pure fun and fantasy that works for this man who rarely saw it growing up.

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War Room (2015)

8/10

A Christian Woman's Marriage Improves When She Comes Out Of The Closet.

28 June 2024

Let me get this out right now- I am a Christian, and I have a love-hate relationship with faith based movies. There are great ones that tell great stories like The Apostle, Say Amen Somebody, and Lilies of the Field. Then we have the bad ones like God's Not Dead, Unplanned, Loving The Bad Man, and Left Behind.

While many of them are not perfect, I do like the Kendrick Brothers movies- their best films being their last 2- Show Me The Father and Lifemark (both reviewed on my page.) However, if I ranked them, War Room would be last. I do like it, but it has quite a few flaws.

War Room follows Elizabeth, played by Priscilla Shirer, a woman who does Bible studies for women groups. (Her sermons are very enjoyable- I recommend looking them up on YouTube.) Anyways, her character Elizabeth is a real estate agent, and she is struggling with her marriage, since her husband Tony (TC Stallings) is self-centered and puts work before his wife and daughter (Alena Pitts).

This frustrates Elizabeth, and she tells this to an elderly client named Ms. Clara (Karen Ambercrombie), after she meddles about her spiritual and personal life. (I find that scene rude and invasive, but we'll set this aside for now.)

Ms. Clara shows her a prayer closet in her house, which she calls her War Room, and she suggests to Elizabeth that she makes a closet space of her own to say her own prayers to fix her marriage and her relationship with God. After all, there's no Satan in here, this is the War Room!

A ton of people rip on War Room for reasons that I agree with, however, there are some positive things about it. One is the cinematography, which isn't the best of all time, but at this point was the best in the Kendrick Brothers's career. Watch War Room and compare it to Flywheel or Facing The Giants (their first 2 films) and you will see a huge improvement in quality.

Priscilla Shirer's acting isn't perfect (one scene where she requests a bowl of ice cream like she's out of it is a bit cringy), but considering it was her first time acting, she does alright all things said and done.

Karen Ambercrombie's role as Ms. Clara is good and even funny at times- particularly a scene involving a guy with a knife, and a scene where she says: "Ooh, Devil...you just got your butt kicked!" Other notable actors include TC Shallings, Alena Pitts, Micheal Jr., and the director Alex Kendrick.

The movie's intended message isn't bad either- that Christians should spend more time in sincere prayer. I admit that I need to work on that myself. Of course, I'm not saying that a good message= a good movie, but there is a good message nonetheless.

Like I mentioned before, War Room certainly has flaws, one being how Ms. Clara invades Elizabeth's privacy- I always find this scene awkward and I wish that it was written as Elizabeth going to Ms. Clara, not the other way around. I would have set it up as them being long time friends and Elizabeth going to Ms. Clara for marriage advice instead.

That aside, the movie also has some pointless scenes- like the scene with Priscilla's weak acting, but also a jump rope competition scene that runs a little too long.

My biggest problem with the movie, however, is how it handles prayer. Again, I do appreciate the message that Christians need to keep their relationship with God through prayer. But at the same time, the movie implies that prayer works like God is a genie- but no, God isn't Robin Williams in Aladdin.

In one scene, Elizabeth gets a text from a friend that Tony is possibly cheating on her. She prays and asks God to "stand in his way", and as soon as she says "Amen", I kid you not- Tony immediately gets food poisoning.

"God, stop Tony from cheating on me."

"Okay, I'll give him FOOD POSIONING!"

What is this, the God of the Old Testament? Also, I'm a child abuse survivor- mostly verbal and emotional abuse and neglect, I prayed for a year for my end- sorry I didn't exactly have a closet to wipe away my problems!

Yes, I KNOW that the point is that God answers prayer, and I agree (I'm free from my abuse, after all), but I was taught that God has 3 answers to prayer- yes, no, and not yet. I have a huge experience of "not yet." War Room is nothing but "yes" just because the main character cleared a clothes closet.

My point is- it takes a good message (pray more) and turns it into a questionable one (do it in a closet so God will answer it.)

Keep in mind, I do recommend War Room. It may not have a perfect message- but there are worse ones out there. (Loving The Bad Man, for instance, teaches rape victims to fall in love with their violators.)

This is definitely a Christian movie- no one who isn't religious would not be that interested or inspired by it, but as far as Christian ones go, again, it's imperfect but worse ones exist.

War Room isn't a great movie, but it serves its purpose as a lesson on the importance of prayer. And from that standpoint, even with my heavy reservations, I still recommend it.

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The Parent Trap (1961)

10/10

A Case Where I Love The Original Over The Remake.

26 June 2024

In 1961, Walt Disney released a classic movie where a woman hates the lead characters and has a desire to get rid of them, and the film has a minimal amount of songs. About 3 decades later, it was remade.

The above descriptions could fit the animated film, 101 Dalmatians, but it also fits a live action classic called The Parent Trap, which is one of the most fun live action films that Walt Disney produced.

The plot follows 2 prank-loving girls who meet at a summer camp and discover that they are twin sisters, and that their parents split up when they were babies and took a twin with them, never mentioning to the other that they had a sister.

They decide to switch places and pretend to be each other so they can meet the other parent that they've never met, hoping that they will reunite and fall in love again. But they have to be quick, because Dad already has plans to marry a gold-digging woman named Vicky who intends to send one of them to boarding school in Switzerland after the wedding.

The twins in this version are played by Hayley Mills, who does a fantastic job playing both girls. She was a big star in Disney movies at the time- Pollyanna came out the year before. 5 years after this, she did a Columbia Pictures film called The Trouble With Angels, which has the prank elements of this film, but setting it in a Catholic boarding school. This is one of my favorite movies.

There are other good stars in the movie as well, like Maureen O'Hara as the Mom, who played the Mom in the original Miracle on 34th Street. Other stars include Brian Keith as the Dad, Una Merkel as Verbena, and Joanna Barnes as Vicky.

Like I said, the movie has a limited amount of songs- but it has a catchy opening number that shares a title with the film, and a song called Let's Get Together, which the remake references.

Speaking of the remake, I feel that it is worth mentioning here. I reviewed it back in October, and I have read many reviews that claim that the remake is better. While the remake is fine (I reviewed that too and gave it a 9/10 rating), and this is to not knock it down on its own, I highly disagree.

For one thing, even though they have just about the same runtime (the remake is 2 hours and 8 minutes long, and this is a minute longer), I feel like this one is better paced. I think the remake runs a little too long, I don't feel that with this one.

There are also some scenes I didn't care for in the remake, like a scene where a twin has to jump in the lake nude, which I found awkward to watch, or a scene where "Father" is called The F Word. While there are adult jokes in this one, like a scene where one of the girls asks her Dad something that he mistakes for a sex talk, they were more fitting for a family film in this one.

Again, I like the remake, but I LOVE the original one. I saw it once when I was a preteen, but it was a delight to see again now at age 25. If I personally HAD to choose to never see one or the other ever again, the remake would go in that scenario. Sorry, Lindsay Lohan, but we would still have Mean Girls to remember you for.

Judging the original Parent Trap on its own, it is a fun movie, with a great dual role from Hayley Mills and fun pranks and songs. Released 5 years before his death, this is one of the most delightful live action movies that Walt Disney gave us.

Fun Fact: Joanna Barnes has a cameo in the remake, as a potential Aunt related to the evil stepmother. Her name is Aunt Vicky, a callback to her role in the original film.

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Life Itself (2014)

10/10

Happy (Day Early) Birthday, Roger Ebert.

17 June 2024

My favorite movie of all time is Pasolini's The Gospel According To St. Matthew (a movie that Roger Ebert called "one of the most effective films on a religious subject that I have ever seen"). However, Life Itself is my 2nd favorite movie of all time.

This is for 2 reasons: My love for movies, and my love for Roger Ebert's movie reviews- which made me fall in love with reading and writing movie reviews. Had Ebert's work not existed, this page probably would not either.

Life Itself is based on his memoir, and both the book and the movie are documentations of Roger's life, from his childhood, to his marriage, to his partnerships with Gene Siskel and Richard Roeper, to his struggle with cancer.

You learn many facts about his life, and people like Martin Scorsese praise his work as a film critic. (Fitting since 15 of Scorsese's films got a 4 out of 4 star rating from Ebert.) One guy named Rick Kogan says, to paraphrase: "I never read Pauline Kael's work, but screw Pauline Kael. Siskel and Ebert were the best film critics of all time."

That's all the movie is- Roger's career, and his struggle with cancer at the end of his life. And it's all compelling from start to finish- when I watched it back in 2020, I rewound it so much that I had to watch the 2nd half the next day because of how late it was getting.

I haven't seen the movie since (it's the only movie in my Top 10 that, as of now, I have only seen once), and that's in hopes of maintaining the power that this movie had upon the first viewing. I don't want to wear out it's welcome so soon.

Regardless, Life Itself is a brilliant documentary from Steve James, who directed Hoop Dreams, which Siskel and Ebert both called the best movie of 1994, as do I thanks to them. (Hoop Dreams is a movie that I would likely have never seen without their praise, as I don't care for sports and I wasn't big on documentaries, something else Ebert changed in me.)

If you are a Roger Ebert fan like I am, this is a must see documentary. It can still be entertaining for others. This is a 2 thumbs up and 4/4 star documentary about the best film critic who ever lived.

Note: 15 other movies that I saw and loved thanks to Roger's 4/4 star praise: The Last Temptation of Christ, Shoah, Say Amen Somebody, Parenthood, Monster, Monster's Ball, Fargo, Do The Right Thing, Woodstock, Das Boot, Lucas, The Player, Big Night, Whale RIder, Spider Man 2, etc.

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Uncut Gems (2019)

8/10

A Tense But Entertaining Film With A Few Too Many F Words For My Taste.

13 June 2024

Much has been said about how stressful Uncut Gems is, and to an extent I agree. I wasn't on the verge of a panic attack, although there is certainly a tensity throughout the 2 hours that the movie runs for.

Uncut Gems stars Adam Sandler as Howard Ratner, a New York jeweler who makes the mistake of pawning a famous basketball player's necklace given to him for safe keeping, and the chaos he must endure to get it back.

Adam Sandler is a hit or miss actor, but he is at his best when doing dramas. Punch Drunk Love and Reign Over Me are 2 movies that are high on my favorites list. I don't like Uncut Gems as much as those, but his role as Howard Ratner is still a very notable one, especially when compared to a trash film like Jack and Jill on his resume.

There are other good performances, such as from Noa Fisher, Julia Fox, and Idina Menzel (a very interesting casting choice, as she did Disney movies like Enchanted and Frozen beforehand.)

The camerawork in Uncut Gems is very good, and the movie has very tense moments, such as one when some men lock Howard in his car trunk after stripping him in a school parking lot.

Like I said, Uncut Gems is tense, but I wasn't on the verge of a panic attack. Still, the Sadfie Brothers have put together a heated plotline that was a bit anxiety-inducing. Those who cannot handle stressful movie scenes would most likely not enjoy this movie.

While that was not an issue for me, I do have some personal problems with the movie. The biggest thing is not a plot hole, but a self-compliant- the profanity. Uncut Gems is currently on Wikipedia's list of the most F words in a movie- placed at #4 with 560 F words in 135 minutes, 9 less than the 3 hour Wolf of Wall Street. The swearing is supposed to add to the intensity.

There are movies that have plenty of F words that I do enjoy- WOWS being one of them, and Summer of Sam, Nil By Mouth, Casino, End of Watch, Goodfellas, and Pulp Fiction being a select few others.

I don't necessarily hate movies with excessive language, and I don't hate Uncut Gems, but I do feel like that it could have been cut down in parts. For example, not only does the F word intercede regular sentences ("Where the F is the black light?"), but it also intercedes words (like Howard might say something like "abso-f-ing-lutely".) It's times like the latter or when it's said so many times in a few consecutive sentences that, intensity or not, the use of vulgar language is just overkill.

Let me be clear, I am not saying that this movie should have had no cursing whatsoever. I'm just saying the amount was a BIT redundant after a while.

There were also a few times where I lost track of the plot (I forgot what a basketball game had to do with the story), but that may be more on me.

Uncut Gems was praised as one of Adam Sandler's best roles and movies. I definitely agree with the former, and I somewhat agree with the latter, if we are comparing this to Jack and Jill, That's My Boy, or Grown Ups 2. However, I would still rate a few movies higher, like his other dramas, Anger Management, Billy Madison, and Happy Gilmore.

All that to say, while the profanity, yelling, and some plot confusion keeps me from hailing it as much as critics did 5 years ago, I do recommend it to those who would not be bothered by such things.

Personal grievances aside, Uncut Gems is still a decent showcase of Sandler's talent when he's not doing stupid voices or bathroom humor.

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Dirty Dancing (I) (1987)

8/10

I Don't Have "The Time Of My Life", But I Do Like It. (REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS ON THE ABORTION SECTION OF THE FILM.)

12 June 2024

Warning: Spoilers

Dirty Dancing is widely thought of as a movie for women, but as a 25-year-old guy, I actually like it myself. LIKE being the key word. It's not one of my favorite movies, but it has a good story and soundtrack with a few notable performances.

The main character is Baby, who with her father (who is a doctor) and mother and sister go to a summer resort. There she meets some dancers and becomes smitten with the dance instructor.

After a girl named Penny gets a botched and illegal abortion that almost takes her life, Baby's father demands that Baby never hang with those teens again, but she defies him and takes Penny's place in an upcoming dance event.

Dirty Dancing has quite a few good performances, mainly from Jennifer Grey as Baby, a year after she played Ferris Bueller's sister. Patrick Swayze plays Johnny, the dance instructor, and to be honest, while I am aware of other films he did (Red Dawn and Road House come to mind), I haven't seen much of his work, but regardless he does good acting here.

Baby's father is played by Jerry Orbach, who later voiced Lumiere, the candle in Beauty and the Beast.

The soundtrack has popular songs like Time Of Your Life and Hungry Eyes, but the best song in my book is Kellerman's Theme, which is criminally underrated in favor of Time Of Your Life if you ask me.

Here I am getting into my spoilers and also my flaws. Like I said, this movie has a plotline about a botched abortion. I'm pro-life, but I don't mind a movie dealing with abortion, I enjoyed Lake of Fire and Vera Drake.

I don't care for the fact that this movie is arguing that if abortion were legal in 1963, this fictional girl could have gotten one without injuring her and that's why abortion is nessecary. (Actually, that's why you shouldn't have sex with a jerkface that you barely know, but I digress in that department.) That aside, there are thematic problems with the pro-choice portion of the film.

For one thing, the word "abortion" is never said. Instead, Penny "needs help." I don't understand why the movie is so hush-hush on Penny getting an abortion. I thought at first that it might have been to maintain a PG-13 rating, but Parenthood said "abortion" 2 years later. If it wasn't a rating issue in 1989, I don't see why it would be in 1987. If it's such an important message to the movie, then say the A word that you are so afraid to say! That makes me wonder why Penny's injury couldn't have been a broken leg from a tragic accident rather than an illegal abortion?

Anyways, when Baby's father saves Penny, he asks who is responsible for this. Johnny speaks up and says "I am." It's a lie (the real guy is higher class and respected by Baby's father), but Baby's father believes it and he is nasty to him and demands that he stay away from his daughter.

If this weren't a chick flick, Baby's father would be in the right, and I sided with him the whole time. If my daughter were close to a guy who I thought knocked up a girl and got her an abortion that caused injury, I would forbid my daughter from seeing him too.

Now that I write this out, Dirty Dancing promotes sexual promisculity, which- yikes. So, don't look to this movie for a moral...

Roger Ebert gave this a harsh review, but I do agree with him using the term "Idiot Plot", a term he used to describe plots that would end earlier if people said the right thing at the right time. Had someone just said: "Hey, Johnny's not the father", half of this movie wouldn't exist. This is my other flaw.

Flaws aside, I do recommend this movie. Dirty Dancing is far from perfect, but it's still an enjoyable film. I don't exactly have the time of my life watching it, but it is an entertaining 100 minutes spent nonetheless.

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Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

9/10

A Divorced Dad Makes For A Funny Film.

12 June 2024

Mrs. Doubtfire is one of Robin William's best movies, even with a few flaws. In fact, it's one of his most iconic films. Ask someone to name a movie that Robin Williams starred in, and this would be named along with Aladdin, Dead Poets Society, Good Morning Vietnam, and so forth.

I remember when Robin Williams passed away, one of my Grandma's friends told her: "Did you hear that Robin Williams committed suicide?" We were both suprised, and I said: "Robin Williams? Like Mrs. Doubtfire Robin Williams?" He laughed and said: "That's right, Mrs. Doubtfire killed herself!"

Anyways, in Mrs. Doubtfire, Robin Williams plays Daniel, a voice actor who quit his job, only for his wife to divorce him for not taking his job as a father and husband seriously. She also refuses to let him see the kids often, so Daniel has an idea- he asks his brother to make a mask for him, and he dresses as an elderly woman who nannies the kids while Mom is at work- and dating another guy so soon after the divorce.

Like I said, this movie is one of Robin Williams's best roles. He improvised often- such as a scene where he does impressions for a hiring agent. In one, he does an alien voice and says: "We have come to Earth to find intelligent life. Oops, we made a mistake."

There's one scene where Mrs. Doubtfire cooks dinner, and he accidentally burns his fake breasts. When he puts it out, he goes: "My first day as a woman, and I'm already having hot flashes!" According to the IMDB trivia page, Robin improvised lines worthy of an R or NC-17 rating. Luckily, we got the PG-13 cut that was always intended, and more people can see it as such.

Robin Williams is far from the only good actor in the film. His ex-wife is played by Sally Field, a year before she played Forrest Gump's mother. A pre-James Bond Pierce Brosnan plays Stu, the new boyfriend.

The youngest daughter is played by Mara Wilson, who later did movies like the remake of Miracle of 34th Street and Matilda. Harvey Fierstein, who voiced Yao in Mulan, plays the kid's gay uncle. Anne Haley, who plays Greta in Liar Liar, plays the secretary. And so on.

There are also some good dramatic moments, like when Daniel makes a case in court on why he needs to see his kids. "Telling me that I can't see my kids is like telling me that I can't have air. I need air and I need my kids" is a line I think of when I think of Mrs. Doubtfire.

Mrs. Doubtfire is a ton of fun, but it's not without a few minor flaws. For example, in one scene, Daniel calls his ex-wife with different voices, trying to try out a nanny voice for her. The night that he uses his Mrs. Doubtfire voice, he tries numerous times in a row from the same number.

On top of that, he calls from his house number at his new place. Wouldn't his ex see the phone bill later and wonder why Daniel called her so many times in a row, and when she was speaking with Mrs. Doubtfire?

It should also be painfully obvious that Mrs. Doubtfire is Daniel. For example, Mrs. Doubtfire is just Daniel with makeup and old woman skin. It's not like Eddie Murphy playing Mrs. Klump in The Nutty Professor, the makeup isn't that deep (for lack of a better word). In another scene, Daniel's ex-wife doesn't question too much how Mrs. Doubtfire can find her way in the kitchen so easily.

Yes, I understand that this is a comedy and that such flaws are nit-picks, but still, this movie depends on people being idiots for it to work.

Those minor complaints don't deter from an otherwise very entertaining movie. Mrs. Doubtfire is a funny and delightful movie that is worth remembering Robin Williams for. He may have ended his own life, but he can never end the laughs that he gave us while he was alive.

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Kids (1995)

8/10

A Decent Movie About Teens That Stands Out By The Controversy.

12 June 2024

Warning: Spoilers

At the end of Kids, a teenager says that he loves having sex and that he's nothing without it. It's a sad statement, but it's true for him and the other teens in the movie as well. In a world where teens search to fit in, they dive into sex, drugs, and booze to gain it, and for some of them it has consequences.

Kids is a very real film, so much so that it gained an NC-17 rating. When an R-rated film hits theaters, minors can see it given that an adult is attending the film with them. When a movie is NC-17 (a rare rating, most NC-17 films are edited to gain an R), you MUST be 17 to see it in theaters.

The rating is well deserved, as there are many scenes depicting teen actors having sex and doing drugs and alcohol. When the MPAA rated the film, they advised to not remove the explicit content, as it would detract from the film's intended impact. And they are right. Kids is NOT for kids, but it has a lot to say for high schoolers and older viewers.

As I said before, the teens in this movie have sex and some get consequences. In one of the most well acted scenes in the movie, 2 friends go to a clinic for STD testing.

One has had sex 5-6 times and was only protected half of those times. (She is also fuzzy on her own sex history, something that her doctor doesn't seem too concerned about.) The other one had unprotected sex once, and is tested positive for HIV. This devastates her for the rest of her miserable day.

We meet many characters like this, some parts more fleshed out then others. Kids isn't really one plot or many, it's a collection of teens and their desire for pleasure and satisfaction to fit in. Most teens will not be like them, but sadly in this broken world they are who they are.

The only thing I didn't really care about the movie is that some scenes just happen for the sake of dialogue and don't go anywhere. For example, the movie ends with a party that takes up the last third of the movie. Much of it doesn't contribute to the plot and could be cut down in my opinion. I still recommend the movie of course, I just want to note that some patience with pacing might be needed.

Kids is a controversial movie for having real teen actors doing sexual stuff onscreen, although when seeing the sex scenes, they are graphic but not explicit. For example, you will see bare legs and sides, but no private parts that distinguish males from females are visible.

Does this make filming Kids the way it was acceptable? By and large, maybe not, but that's not the point- everything about the movie is depraved, and that IS the point.

Kids is not a happy movie, and again, that IS the point. It reminded me of American Beauty, where Lester sought happiness in the wrong places during his midlife crisis, and when he discovers where to find it, it's too late and he dies.

It's not too late for these teens, but sadly they don't see their way out apart from drugs and sex. And that's their tragedy that we can learn from.

One final note- some may find one party scene upsetting that turned satisfying for me. When everyone else is passed out drunk, one guy decides to take advantage of a passed out girl. Jokes on him...she's the girl with HIV.

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That's My Boy (2012)

1/10

Incest And Pedophilia- "Perfect" Topics For A Comedy!

8 June 2024

Warning: Spoilers

I saw this a long time ago, but the older I get, the creepier it is, and That's My Boy is a sad reflection of our society. I'm going to give away the whole movie, and I don't care. This whole movie is depraved, and should not be seen by anyone.

The plot starts off with a teen boy who makes some sexual remarks to his middle school teacher. She gives him detention, and during detention, she seduces him. They repeatedly have sex, and one day they are caught. The judge says "I know that this is every boy's fantasy" (yes, that requires quote marks), but the now impregnated teacher must go to prison, while the boy raises their child.

The story goes on to show that the baby grows up to be played by Andy Samberg, and he hates the fame that being a child of a teacher/student relationship has caused him. (It even turned into a hit TV movie.)

As such, he doesn't invite his Dad to his wedding, but he comes anyway when he needs money.

Near the end of the movie, Adam Sandler catches Samberg's fiance in bed with another man, but not just any man, her biological brother. They try to bribe him to not tell anyone about their "secret tickle time" (quote marks again required), but he changes his mind and makes the fiance reveal the secret at the wedding.

This makes everyone gasp, faint, and cringe, and a young brother and sister look at each other with disgust at the thought of them doing the same thing.

Keep in mind, it's perfectly cool that a boy in middle school had sex with his teacher, but 2 consenting siblings? THAT crosses the line for these people!

Back to the teacher thing, I have a cousin who is serving 17-40 years in prison because they had sex with a teenage student. HE is called disgusting and I've read comments on social media that he should never be released.

If That's My Boy were about a male teacher having sex with a middle school girl, this movie would be illegal. It wouldn't be deemed a comedy. But since a female teacher is banging a boy, it's accepted as a Hollywood movie?

That's My Boy is repulsive on many levels- using pedophilia and incest as topics for humor. My stomach hurts just writing about it. It's one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and it angers me that such a movie even exists. Adam Sandler and everyone else involved should be ashamed for making it.

Reverse Reccomendations: Adam Sandler does his best work when doing dramas like Punch Drunk Love or Reign Over Me. Better comedies of his include Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Big Daddy, Mr. Deeds, Anger Management, 50 First Dates, Click, Grown Ups, and a few others.

Also Avoid: Grown Ups 2 and Jack and Jill.

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Fantasia (1940)

10/10

The Best Movie That Walt Disney Made.

27 May 2024

My favorite Disney movie is Toy Story, but when considering the animated films that Walt Disney, the man, worked on, then in my view Fantasia is his greatest achievement and a masterpiece.

I first saw Fantasia when I was 11. My uncle used to keep a bunch of children's VHS tapes that his kids either grew out of or stopped watching in my Grandma's garage. I took a few of them over time, one of them being Fantasia. I once viewed it at Grandma's and watched it many times by myself at home after that.

My Mom and sister found it to be a tedious, boring movie, but I found it enthralling. At the time, it was my favorite Disney movie, and it's still in the Top 5 14 years later- I watched it on Disney Plus at my Uncle's today during our family Memorial Day party for the first time in 4 years.

Fantasia is not one coherent plot. Instead, it has an orchestra performing classic pieces of music, such as The Pastoral Symphony, The Nutcracker Suite, Waltz of the Flowers, and Rite of Spring. It also has Mickey Mouse as The Sorcerer's Apprentice, who plays around with witchcraft without knowing how to stop the spells that he uses.

As these pieces play, images are shown that match the music. For example, in Rite of Spring, at an intense moment, a stegosaurus and a T-Rex battle each other, with dramatic music playing as the T-Rex bites his opponent's neck to death.

There are intense moments in the movie (the final segment includes Satan dragging demons and ghosts out of Hell), but overall, Fantasia is a dreamy, comforting movie- the cinematic equivalent of getting a spa day. I know that's weird phrasing, but I can't describe it any other way. The only movie I have ever seen that gives this same impact is 2001: A Space Odyssey.

In fact, many of the music bits are so nice that my mind wandered into my own thoughts- I'm not sure if that is praise or a nit-pick...

The animation is also pretty to look at- from the Greek creatures on Mount Olympus, to the magic of Mickey, to the natural bits of Rite of Spring, the animation is beautiful to behold and ranks with Sleeping Beauty as one of the prettiest animated films that Walt has made. (That movie's animation came to mind as I watched it, which is why I am calling that one out specifically.)

Over the years, Fantasia has seemed to be a film with polarizing reactions. People like myself, Steven Spielberg, and film critics like Roger Ebert, Doug Walker ("The Nostalgia Critic"), Ani Mat, and Jay Vaters consider this to be one of the finest animated movies ever made.

However, most of my family and others online have considered Fantasia to be one of the most boring animated movies ever made. To play devil's advocate, I can see how long stretches of no dialogue might cause some people to dismiss Walt's 3rd film, especially if comparing it to a movie like its predecessors, Snow White and Pinocchio.

My advice to those who might find Fantasia dull is to treat it for what it is- a visualization of classical music. It's a concert with compatible images. Appreciate the art and the music and forget about plot. That's what Fantasia is all about.

Walt Disney made many great animated films in his day- from Snow White to Cinderella to Lady And The Tramp to 101 Dalmatians to The Jungle Book. But as great as those are, none of them compare to the grandness and beauty of Fantasia, which was simply his magnum opus, giving room for Snow White.

While all other Disney movies, and animated films in general, tell a story with words and characters, Fantasia creates a unique film experience with animation itself telling a story with the aid of music, and that's what makes Fantasia such a special masterpiece.

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The Thorn Birds (1983)

10/10

Gone With The Wind With A Priest.

27 May 2024

I live with my Grandma, and one of her close friends owns The Thorn Birds. I've always had interest in seeing it, but it runs for 8 hours and 7 minutes, and to be honest, that has kept me from seeing it. (And yes, I say that even though I watched the 9.5 hour films Dekalog and Shoah earlier this year.)

That last factor is probably what made me pick up my own copy at Goodwill last week- and my Grandma and I watched it together in its 4 parts- Part 1 on Wednesday, Part 2 on Saturday, and Parts 3 and 4 today, the day before Memorial Day. When it ended, my Grandma gave it an 11/10, and I gave it a plain 10/10- it is one of the best epics and mini-series ever made.

The Thorn Birds follows Father Ralph, a priest who has fallen in love with Meggie, the niece of an aristocratic friend of his. At first, this love is a bit creepy- as he meets her as a young child. His obsession grows to the point that he convinces the rich aunt to pay for tuition at his Catholic school, in which Meggie later gets a bedroom next to his.

Without giving too much of the plot away, Meggie grows up and she and Ralph admit to being in love. She gives him many chances to give up being a priest and chastity for her, but Ralph insists that he must love God more than her, and to give up the priesthood is to give up God, and to idolize Meggie above God, thus leading to one of the most epic and complex romances since Gone With The Wind.

And speaking of Gone With The Wind, The Thorn Birds is an epic in scope and scale as the 1939 film. For instance, it has beautiful scenery, particularly on the farm of Dogrehta.

The performances are well done too- understandable considering the talents of Christopher Plummer, Barbara Stanwyck, Piper Laurie, Jean Simmons, and so forth, and most certainly from Richard Chamberlain and Rachel Ward, who play Ralph and older Meggie.

Their romantic tension is what carries the movie most- they clearly express their desire for each other, but Ralph's dedication to the priesthood is what keeps them from being together.

If I had to nit-pick anything, it would be that at 8 hours, the movie did feel a little too long. That said, I can't name much that could be taken out. My complaint has nothing to do with pacing or really even the length, it's just the patience of sitting through a movie that runs as long as a full time job- even though I watched it in 3 days.

I also wish Father Ralph had preached a little more, but again, I'm nit-picking and I don't hold that against the movie.

The Thorn Birds is a masterpiece and one of the best mini-series ever made, along with the likes of Jesus of Nazareth, Dekalog, Roots, and Chernobyl. (In fact, David L. Wolper prouced both this and Roots, while Christopher Plummer was also in Jesus of Nazareth as Herod Antipas.)

The Thorn Birds is a romance film that is twice as long as Gone With The Wind, but deserves to be named with it as one of the best love stories ever put to film.

Fun Fact: Henry Manchini, who conducted the Pink Panther theme, conducts the music for this movie too.

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Black Narcissus (1947)

7/10

The Last Temptation of Nuns. Recommended for TV viewing at best.

8 May 2024

When I mention "Christian movies", you proably cringed as movies like God's Not Dead, Unplanned, and Left Behind came to mind. Since Black Narcissus deals with Anglican nuns, this is technically a Christian movie, but it should not be ranked with those.

There are good Christian movies out there- The Apostle, Silence, Hacksaw Ridge, Lilies of the Field, movies like this. Black Narcissus is close to this side of the spectrum of Christian movies, although it still wasn't the best.

Black Narcissus follows 5 Anglican nuns- 2 of which are played by Deborah Kerr and Jean Simmons. While they are nuns, trying to serve God and not be part of the outside world, they struggle with temptations of being with a man or getting out of The Order.

Black Narcissus is a well shot and well acted movie. The nuns give good performances and an Indian character who converts to the Christian faith is a compelling role.

Although, I have to admit that by the 3rd act, I found myself bored. In fact, there were brief times where I checked the guide on my TV (TCM aired it) to see how much more of the movie I had to watch.

However, my Grandma watched some of it with me- and she was like: "Would you stop doing that?" So I got my phone and glanced at that instead.

I didn't hate Black Narcissus, mind you. And if you catch it on TCM, it's worth putting on if you can't find anything else. But apart from that, I can't exactly recommend it- I've seen more interesting religious films that deal with temptation- like The Last Temptation of Christ and Dekalog.

I give this a weak recommendation if it's on TV. Otherwise, I would say that "nun" of your money should immediately go to a DVD purchase.

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Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967)

10/10

A Progressive Movie In 1967 Still Says A Lot About Society Today.

5 May 2024

As a film buff, I love old movies, but few are as enjoyable and relevant as Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?

The plot, set in the present day, (present day being 1967), follows liberal parents played by Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn. Their grown daughter comes home- with a surprise- a fiance. But not just any fiance- an African American one, played by Sidney Poiter.

They quickly fell in love, and within a few days they got engaged. Even though the daughter says that they will marry regardless of how they feel, she hopes that her parents will approve of her marriage to a black man by dinner time that evening.

Even with such a stretch of a plot (who would approve of a marriage of a couple who knew each other for a couple of days, regardless of the race of the other person?), such a plot point is besides the point, Guess Who's Coming To Dinner still manages to be a fantastic film- especially with the acting from Tracy, Hepburn, and Poitier.

For example, when Tracy makes his decision on how he feels on the engagement, he makes an 8 minute speech that never ceases to be riveting. There are also conversations between characters about the engagement that go on for some time without losing one's interest.

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner also has some touches that take you back to 1967- such as a trip to a drive-in diner. Also in the diner scene, Tracy accidentally backs into a black man's car, who shouts: "Do you know how much this is going to cost to repair?" Tracy chucks some money at him and shouts: "Here's $50, GO BUY A NEW ONE!"

When I watched this with my Grandma, I laughed and said: "$50 for a new car?" And she said something along the lines of, "That's inflation for you."

While $50 cars may be dated in 2024, the message of the film is not. Even when segregation was dying out of America in 1967, interracial marriage was still taboo, and illegal in some states. (The court case Loving V. Virginia, which made interracial marriage legal, was decided the same year.)

Hollywood actually had some guts to tell this story at this time, and that is a triumph in itself. It was even nominated for Best Picture, but lost to a lesser (but recommendable) Sidney Poitier film- In The Heat Of The Night. (To be clear, In The Heat Of The Night is a good movie, I just feel that Guess Who's Coming To Dinner is the better film.)

The fact that interracial marriage was controversial just shy of six decades ago shows how far we have come in that time, and that seems to be director Stanley Kramer's point even then. With excellent dialogue and performances, Guess Who's Coming To Dinner becomes a powerful story about progression and antiracism that says a lot about modern society, even 57 years later. And that's what makes it a masterpiece and a pleasure to watch.

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George of the Jungle (1997)

10/10

One Of My Favorite Live Action Disney Movies, And One Of The Funniest. (MY 200TH REVIEW)

4 May 2024

When I was about 7 years old, one of the families that I know from church was having a garage sale, and my parents took me to it. They had some VHS tapes there (welcome to circa 2005), and one of them was George of the Jungle. As I paid for it, the father dared me to watch it without laughing.

I lost that dare. That would be like not laughing at The Birdcage or Airplane! George of the Jungle, despite being live action (save for the opening credits), should be ranked with the likes of Aladdin, The Emperor's New Groove, and Finding Nemo as one of the funniest Disney movies ever made.

The plot, based on an old cartoon, follows George, played by Brendan Fraser. He's been raised in the jungle, where his best friend is an Ape named Ape (voiced by John Cleese).

One day, he meets Ursula (Leslie Mann), the first human female he's ever laid eyes on. Although she is engaged to Lyle (Thomas Haden Church), George and Ursula fall in love as they experience his jungle, and hers- New York City.

George Of The Jungle was pretty much my introduction to all of these actors mentioned- save for John Cleese, who voiced the King in Shrek 2. They all give good performances, and Brendan Fraser makes for a good "Tarzan wannabe" as Ursula calls him at one point.

What makes the movie work best though is the laughs, which still hold up 18 years after my first viewing. George of the Jungle has many jokes that are either self-aware (like a scene where a villain and the narrator fight with each other, to which another villain is like: "will you stop fighting with the narrator?"), or the physical comedy of George smashing into trees and buildings. The movie even ends with a hilarious reference to The Lion King.

George of the Jungle is no cinematic masterpiece if compared to the best movies ever made (like Citizen Kane and The Godfather), but judging it as what is- a Disney movie that's not animated, George of the Jungle is one of the most entertaining, even as a 25-year-old. (I no longer have that tape, but I do have it on DVD.) It's a ton of fun regardless of how old you are, and that makes for a good family movie.

I have a personal dare for you that's just as challenging as my church friend's- leave this movie without the George of the Jungle theme song stuck in your head. You have my full permission to lose.

PS: There is also a direct-to-video sequel. It's okay, but I don't really recommend seeing it unless you really want to see it on Disney Plus or something. Otherwise, you can skip it and let the first movie stand alone.

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How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

9/10

How The Director Of Parenthood and Apollo 13 Made A Fun Holiday Film.

4 May 2024

How The Grinch Stole Christmas is a film from my youth, but I haven't seen it in about 13 years, to tell you the truth. Even now, the movie is still quite merry, it's still very funny all thanks to Jim Carrey.

The Grinch hates Christmas, this you know, but that's because of the teasing he got for the green fur that he grows. It's thanks to a little girl named Cindy Lou that the Grinch learns holiday cheer, although the birth of Christ is never mentioned, I fear.

Jim Carrey is great in this part, it's more than alrighty, it's my favorite role of his, though in terms of movies, I prefer Bruce Almighty. There's also Jeffery Tambor as The Mayor, and the cute Taylor Momsen is the Cindy Lou player. Anthony Hopkins narrates, some of which comes from the Dr. Suess page, and Christine Baranski is in it- she's in my favorite comedy- The Birdcage.

But apart from the cast, there is much to praise, such as the jokes that will land for days. Some are crude, that I admit, but of course the little ones, those jokes they won't get. There's an "I'm going to throw up" line that I rather enjoyed, and the ab-libbing of Jim Carrey made him worthy to be employed.

But the best part besides the jokes is that the film has heart, it moved ME to tears, as the film nearly departs.

The camerawork is pretty, and the green and red glows, filmmaking is certainly something that Ron Howard knows. Of course that's no surprise, I know he is good, he directed movies like Apollo 13 and Parenthood.

It also has a couple of songs, like the You're A Mean One song, and there's also a tune called Where Are You Christmas that's not very long.

The start takes a little long to move the plot- that's my minor complaint, but this movie was fun, a bad one it ain't. It's a movie I would recommend and watch again and again, and I rate it a 9 on a scale of 1 to 10.

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Dekalog (1989– )

10/10

Ten Stories, Ten Commandments. Highly Recommended Regardless Of Your Religious Beliefs.

31 January 2024

One of my favorite film critics, James Berardinelli, has Dekalog listed as his 2nd favorite movie, topped only by Patton. While it's not that high for me, (it's near the end of my favorites list rather than the top), it is still an excellent achievement in foreign film.

This 10-part mini-series from Poland tells 10 stories, mostly disconnected in plot, but connected in theme- one of The 10 Commandments.

For example, the first story ("You shall have no other gods before me*") tells of an atheist father who trusts in technology rather than God, and a loss that such trust costs him. Story 5 is about a man who murders and gets the death penalty for it. Story 6 is about a man who falls in love with a married woman. And so on and so forth.

While God is mentioned here and there (mostly in the first 3 stories), Dekalog is actually a far cry from a religious movie. Dekalog is not to be considered as a God's Not Dead kind of faith based movie. (I consider it to be one, and will refer to it as a religious movie, but it technically isn't one IF comparing it to a poor film like God's Not Dead.) In fact, it's not a Christian movie thematically speaking, only in theme.

My takeaway from the movie was regardless of if the viewer is religious or not (and I am, mind you), The Ten Commandments still sets a standard of our morality, and breaking it by killing, committing adultery, stealing, etc. Makes one immoral.

Dekalog takes these themes seriously, but also forces us to see the challenges in following them. Take the 2nd story ("Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain") in which a doctor is forced to swear to God that he is telling the truth about the state of a patient of his. We later learn that he lied under his oath- and the woman tells him that he better pray for forgiveness to his God for doing so.

Or consider how we can seek justice for the murder of a loved one, but is the death penalty a righteous way to get said justice? These are complex questions that Dekalog presents, but does not answer, these are moral conclusions that we are forced to ponder and make for ourselves.

Dekalog is long- nearly 10 hours in length- 1 hour per story. However, despite some slow moments in which no dialogue is heard, the hours go by decently, and they can be seen in parts. (I watched 1-2 parts at a time, and watched the last 3 all at once.)

No matter your religious beliefs, Dekalog is definitely a film worth seeing. Like I said, it is not a religious film traditionally speaking, but it takes religious ideas seriously. While the morality can be complex, we are better people for trying to follow them, and we hurt others when we break them- not just God, but our neighbors as well.

Dekalog is a long, morally complex, and emotionally draining movie. But it is a well made, well acted, and thought-provoking one as well, and it is one of the most rewarding cinematic experiences I have ever had.

Note: This is my 100th 10/10 review! :)

*The sections are not named by their commandment; I am just pointing out how the commandment and the story connect together.

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The Visual Bible: Acts (1994 Video)

10/10

It Gives You A Deeper Understanding Of The Spreading Of The Gospel.

30 January 2024

The Visual Bible: Acts was made as a follow-up to their adaptation of Matthew. I suspect this movie was made since Acts is rarely adapted into film.

As much as I love the worthwhile films about Jesus and Moses, I also really love it when a movie is made about the other stories in The Bible. One of my Top 10 favorite Biblical movies is The Bible: In The Beginning. I also love ones like Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie and King David.

The Visual Bible: Acts is another great "other" Bible movie, and nearly as good as Matthew.

Like Visual Bible's film version of Matthew, Acts is straight from the NIV Bible. While Acts 8:37 has been omitted from the script as a result, the movie comes word-for-word from Acts- the story of the disciples spreading the Good News of Jesus to Jews and Gentiles alike.

All the actors are fine in their roles. The highlights are Luke- played by Dean Jones, who did Disney movies like The Love Bug and The Ugly Daschund beforehand and Peter- played by atheist actor James Brolin.

The Biblical accuracy is the most worthy of praise. In fact, in church, we are doing an Adult Bible study on Acts, and I have used clips to help me read the passages necessary to do the homework involved.

For those who love Biblical epics and want a break from Moses or Jesus for the theme, I highly recommend Acts. While it's long with a run-time of 3 hours and 13 minutes, it's well worth it and it gives one a deeper understanding of the spreading of The Gospel.

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The Gospel According to Matthew (1993)

10/10

A Word For Word Masterpiece.

24 January 2024

*My 200th review on my page!*

The Visual Bible: Matthew gained my attention when I was about 7 or 8. It was for sale at the now closed Family Christian Store, and my Dad bought it. We had an intention of seeing it, but the 4 hour and 25 minute run-time kept us from doing so. He passed away when I was 9, and at no time did I ever see it.

I ended up finding a copy of it in high school at my local Salvation Army (I no longer had that old one) and it became one of my favorite Biblical movies.

The Visual Bible: Matthew is just that- a visual of the words of Matthew. The dialogue- narration and spoken, comes strictly from The NIV translation. My 1st of 2 nit-picks with the movie is that as such, some verses are removed- namely 17:21, 18:11, and 23:14, and the Bible tells us to never take away from God's word, and I find that contradictory for a movie being "word for word."

That aside, this is one of the best Biblical movies ever made. Bruce Marchiano is a more historically accurate looking Jesus, and one of the best actors to play him at that.

He also has some personality, something people criticize from actors like Max Von Sydow, who played Christ in The Greatest Story Ever Told. For example, when Jesus speaks Matthew 7:3-5, he says:

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

As he does this, he jokingly places a plank next to his eye, making him and his disciples laugh. This leads to my other nit-pick, in which he speaks to a crowd in The Sermon on the Mount scene, while it's narrated in Matthew 4:25-5:1 that Jesus ignored the crowd to speak to only the disciples.

My nit-picks aside, The Visual Bible: Matthew is one of the best Biblical movies ever made- and it proves that Scripture itself is all that's needed to make a powerful movie based on The Bible. While Pasolini's The Gospel According To St. Matthew is my favorite movie about Jesus (and movie period), this ranks up there with it as one of the best Jesus films ever produced. It is a word-for-word masterpiece.

Note: Because Matthew is writing the words, we cut to him saying the words of his text to some kids at times.

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Fireproof (2008)

9/10

A Sanitized Love Story For Christians. (POSSIBLE SPOILERS)

19 January 2024

Warning: Spoilers

Some Christians love The Kendrick Brothers, others have problems with their films. I am a Christian who likes their movies, but some of them certainly have issues. Fireproof is one such movie. It's not without its flaws, but I still really enjoy it.

Fireproof follows a firefighter named Caleb who is in a failing marriage. His wife of 7 years Catherine and him fight all of the time, mostly because Caleb works at the fire station all night and does nothing productive during the day.

This leads to a huge fight that might lead to divorce. Caleb tells his Dad about it, and he gives him a book called The Love Dare- a 40 day plan where he has to do something nice for his wife without expecting anything in return.

For example, Caleb has to make her coffee in the morning, set up a romantic dinner, or in one instance when he wants to start a fight, he holds his tongue instead. However, he has to act quickly, because one of Catherine's co-workers is rubbing off on her in the middle of Caleb's plan.

Fireproof, in my view, is a very entertaining movie. I also appreciate the acting from actors like Kirk Cameron (who plays Caleb) and Erin Bertha (who plays Catherine). Some performances can be a bit corny (like from an actor who basically flirts with himself in a mirror), but plenty of the actors are okay for being non-professionals.

I also appreciate the 40 day plan aspect of the story. While no broken marriage could easily be patched in over a month, the point that spouses need to put the other person's needs first is a key message for any marriage- Christian or secular.

I also like the detail that the married couple is named Caleb and Catherine- these are 2 of director Alex Kendrick's kid's names.

While they may not match the action of a Tom Cruise or James Bond movie, Fireproof also has some neat action scenes- particularly when Caleb saves a little girl who is trapped in a house on fire, or when many firefighters rush to save some injured girls in a car crash that landed them in the middle of some train tracks.

There's also a funny scene involving a hot sauce called Wrath of God. I won't spoil this for you, but when a church friend showed this to me when I was 16, it made me laugh really hard!

Like I said, Fireproof is not a perfect movie. For example, the movie opens with a young Catherine saying that she wants to marry a man like her father, and her mother says that she will find a man who loves her very much.

The first time we see Caleb and Catherine together, they have a huge fight where Caleb screams in her face and calls her names. THIS is the man who loves her very much? What was their marriage like before this?

If I had written the script, I would have replaced that first scene with a brief montage or scene of Caleb and Catherine meeting and then falling in love and starting out as a happy couple.

Then, I would have a caption of "7 years later", and THEN that fight would be more fitting.

Catherine also starts to have an affair, and she stops obviously, but she never apologizes directly for it, in fact she only stops when she discovers a sacrifice that her husband made that her 3rd wheel took credit for. So, an apology moment would have been nice.

The movie also tries to cover some PG-13 topics and make them PG, which causes some sanitization of what is trying to be taught. For example, Caleb has a porn addiction which is alluded to when he stares at his computer but rushes to exit out when his wife comes in the room.

While I'm not asking to watch what Caleb is watching, the movie seems to make the topic of porn addiction family friendly, which is even more inappropriate in a way. That goes for subjects like adultery and divorce. The next Kendricks Brothers movie- Courageous is PG-13 while discussing things like this in broader focus, and I personally think that is a better movie, this being one reason.

One final thing I would like to critique is common in many faith based movies- the heavy handedness. For one thing, Caleb and Catherine are not Christians for a majority of the movie, and the movie implies that if you are a Christian, then you will have a good marriage. Just about my whole family is Christian, and many of my family members are divorced for one reason or another. So, that's definitely not true.

Caleb's parents are Christians though, and his father tells him that becoming believers is what saved their marriage. There is a scene where Caleb gripes that his wife has rejected his love over and over and over, and asks how anyone could love a person like that.

Caleb's father then leans against a cross- not at all being subtle, especially how he convinces his son to become a Christian right then and there in the middle of him asking for marriage advice.

I know I have critiqued a lot for a movie getting 9/10 stars. As a movie, I might give it about an 8, but judging this as a faith based movie, I think this is one of the better ones. Compare my 9 against God's Not Dead, not against The Godfather.

While Fireproof could have been written better in some areas, it's still a solid look at a Christ-centered marriage. I remember in a couple of high school classes, we were asked about our views of marriage- and both times I mentioned Fireproof.

Fireproof isn't flaw-proof, but it is certainly one of the better Christian movies out there. With its compelling drama and set up for an important message, Fireproof is a fine, faith based way to extinguish 2 hours.

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Beauty and the Beast (1991)

10/10

This Should Have Won Best Picture, Not Just Nominated.

17 January 2024

Beauty and the Beast has always been one of my favorite Disney movies. It was one of my favorite movies to watch with my sister when we were kids, and it's still in my Top 10 favorite Disney movies today.

The plot follows a young woman named Belle, a bookworm who comes across a cursed prince who was transformed into a beast by a witch. He has captured her father, and she offers to take his place.

Little does she realize that her brave decision will be his redemption from the curse- which also affects his servants (including a teapot, teacup, clock, and candle)- for the curse can only be broken if someone can learn to love The Beast.

As an adult, one of the most appreciative elements of Beauty and the Beast is the love story. Most Disney Princess movies have a formula of the girl dreaming of a mystery prince, her finding the prince, and then almost immediately getting married.

Beauty and the Beast is not like that. Belle doesn't even like The Beast at first, and she refuses to have dinner with him the first night she lives in the castle. It takes some time for them to actually fall in love, and that's what a great romance needs.

Beauty and the Beast also has some great songs- like Belle, Gaston (where the villain's friends boast about how great he is), Be Our Guest, and the titular Beauty and the Beast, sung by Mrs. Potts when Belle and Beast begin to fall in love. There is also a wonderful rendition of the song in the credits by Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson.

The animation is glorious as well- such as the opening shot of the castle and the stained glass images, the musical numbers, and the camera motion-like movements of the dance scene.

The cast also does a wonderful job as well. Most of the actors are mostly known only for this movie- but Jerry Orbach (Baby's father in Dirty Dancing) voices the candle Lumiere, and Angela Lansbury voices Mrs. Potts. Mary Kay Bergman voices a feather duster, and she would later do the female voices in the beginning of South Park. Yes, I'm serious.

All of these elements- the animation, songs, cast, and most importantly the well told story, were critically praised when this was released back in 1991. Siskel and Ebert both had Beauty and the Beast in their top 10 of the year, and another critic I admire, James Berardinelli (who created reelviews.net) says this is the best animated movie ever made.

In fact, it's his 58th favorite movie, and the only animated movie he gives 4/4 stars apart from the tragic but masterful Grave of the Fireflies.

With acclaim and quality like this, it's no wonder that Beauty and the Beast was the first animated movie ever to get a Best Picture nomination at the Oscars. It would also be the only one for 18 years- then Up was nominated for 2009 and Toy Story 3 was nominated a year later.

Sadly, while it got such an honorable nomination, it did not win. Of all movies, The Silence of the Lambs won instead. That's a good movie too, but I have always considered that to be the worst decision the Oscars have ever made. Musicals and romances are more Oscar-type than horror movies, so I have always felt that this loss was quite the injustice.

In fact, animated movies were gaining popularity in the 90s, and this led to the Best Animated Feature category in 2001, which to me feels like the Academy just views animation as cartoons, and not a unique form of cinematic storytelling.

Regardless, Beauty and the Beast did get nominated, and I'm glad that it did. It's one of the best stories Disney has ever told, and this tale as old as time should forever be considered timeless.

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The Original Kings of Comedy (2000)

8/10

More Of A Swear Show Than A Comedy Show, But It's Funny Enough.

13 January 2024

When it works, I really enjoy stand up comedy films. I think Eddie Murphy Delirious may be the funniest movie I have ever seen. I laughed so hard for the first 50 minutes of that movie that I couldn't laugh for the last 20 because my throat was so sore. Eddie Murphy Raw is nearly as hilarious.

Although, I don't exactly care for The Three Amigos (with Mexican comedians, not Steve Martin) for the persistent swearing near the end.

Why am I telling you this? Because what makes Delirious and Raw masterpieces to me are part of why I feel that The Original Kings of Comedy, while good (I do recommend it, keep that in mind), has some flaws.

The Original Kings of Comedy has 4 African American stand up comedians on a 2 night recording of their stand up tour. The comedians are Steve Harvey (who is more the host than a star, but he does display his own material), D. L. Hughley, Cedric The Entertainer, and Bernie Mac.

Steve Harvey really steals the show and is the best thing about it. In fact, while there is other good material here, I kind of wish this was just his act. Sure, you can get other DVDs of his act, but you get my point.

One bit that he does is about going to church as a kid. He had to go every day for service, for prayer meetings, for bake sales, anything. In fact, he went so frequently that he had to look for things to like about it.

Then he met a woman who said used profanity in the House of God, and she became his reason to go. That was probably my favorite joke in the movie.

Next, there's D. L Hughley. He talks about God as well in a humorous way, saying Jesus had to be black because turning water into wine is the most black thing a person could do. He has another bit about the difference between firing a white person and a black person from a job, that was funny too. (And I'm white, if that matters.)

Cedric The Entertainer was okay. He made me chuckle but not really laugh. That was one of my issues with the movie, for a stand up comedy, I felt the laughs were kind of lacking compared to Delirious or Raw.

He did have a funny bit about how black people don't get shot because they know how to run from a bad situation. If you run, black people run. Other than that, his section was so-so, with more chuckles than laughs.

Finally, we have Bernie Mac. He has a funny bit about raising his nieces and nephews, and how strange they are, and the first half of his act is pretty good.

However, his closing joke went on too long, and the subject was never really funny. The bit is about how black people use the word "mother-" Look, I'm not "afraid" of the word "mother-", but that's not funny. It's just cursing for the sake of cursing.

Wikipedia has a page for movies that have the most F words. The Original Kings of Comedy, according to this source, has 213 F-words total. I've seen very good movies with more than that (Casino has almost twice that), and Eddie Murphy Raw has just a few more than that (and he's the only F-word user!)

So, I am not condemning this movie for HAVING numerous curse words. I don't care about that, I knew it was foul going in. However, what I AM condemning HOW it's used.

When Steve Harvey told that church lady story, his use of MF in that has a purpose, and makes you laugh. Bernie's pervasive use of it is just foul, disgusting, and pointless. In fact, I kind of wonder if he was just TRYING to make a record by adding that "joke."

So is The Original King of Comedy the funniest stand up movie ever? No. (Eddie Murphy Delirious still holds that crown.) Is it more concerned about saying the next curse word than the next joke? Sometimes. (And the movie also has some behind the scenes segments that slow the humor down as well.)

But all things said and done, there are laughs to be found here, and the jokes that do work make it worth seeing. While this movie is no King, it's entertaining enough and it will leave you at least chuckling and smiling a fair amount.

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Friday Night Lights (2004)

8/10

Cliche But Worth The Watch.

13 January 2024

I'm not a regular viewer of sports movies, mainly because I have no interest in sports whatsoever, however there are sports movies that I really enjoy- such as Hoop Dreams (that's the best sports movie ever made in my opinion), Field of Dreams, The Sandlot, The Blind Side, Remember The Titans, and so forth.

I was expecting to enjoy Friday Night Lights to rank with these, because critics like Larry King named it one of the best sports movies ever made. With acclaim like this, I was expecting a movie ranking with Hoop Dreams. For me, the movie was good, but it didn't quite make it.

Friday Night Lights, which is based on a true story, tells of a high school football team that succeeds in an economically depressed town.

From a filmmaking standpoint, FNL is very well made. The cinematography is well done, and the acting is very good, especially from Billy Bob Thornton and Derek Luke.

However, Friday Night Lights, while good, has its cliche moments- even if it is based on a true story. There's a scene where a kid gets injured and there's a conflict of whether he is able to play or not. There's also the disapproving father who doesn't root for his son's passion for football.

Moments like this made the movie predictable in some areas, and that's why I rated this an 8 out of 10. (I watched this with my Grandma, she gave it the same rating.)

While I don't share the acclaim of critics like Larry King for Friday Night Lights, it was good and worth a watch. As for my enthusiasm and recommendation, I am in no rush to see it again, however if I was channel surfing and it was on TV, I'd watch it.

That said, suppose this was on and Remember The Titans was on another channel, and I had to pick between the 2, I'd pick Remember The Titans.

Still, judging it on its own terms, Friday Night Lights is a worthy film in the sports genre, and should a chance arise to see it, it is worth the watch, despite its predictable elements.

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