- Grasshopper: This is an outrage! You are a disgrace to your Phylum, Order, Class, Genus and Spe...
- Centipede: Say it in English!
- Grasshopper: You, sir, are an ass!
- Centipede: I've sailed all the five seas. From the land of Bora Bora to the icy shores of Tripoli. Commodore Centipede, they used to call me.
- Grasshopper: Seven.
- Centipede: Huh?
- Grasshopper: There are seven seas, and Tripoli is in the Sub-Tropics, Commodore!
- Centipede: Trim the sails!
- Ladybug: There are no sails.
- Centipede: Start the engines!
- Earthworm: There are no engines.
- Centipede: I can't work with this miserable crew!
- James: What are they?
- Old Man: Crocodile tongues.
- James: Tongues?
- Old Man: Long, slimy crocodile tongues boiled in the skull of a dead witch for 40 days and 40 nights. And, the gizard of a pig, the fingers of a young monkey, the beak of a parrot and three spoonfuls of sugar, and then, let the moon do the rest.
- [James has discovered he has changed]
- James: It's like he said: Marvelous things will happen.
- Glowworm: Did he say, "Marvelous pigs in satin"?
- Grasshopper: No, dear lady.
- [He takes out a megaphone and speaks through it]
- Grasshopper: Marvelous things will happen.
- [to James]
- Grasshopper: Poor Glowworm, she's a little deaf.
- Earthworm: I, on the other hand, have exquisite hearing.
- Centipede: Oh, yeah? Well, listen to this...
- [He spits into his many hands and grabs the megaphone and yells into it]
- Centipede: LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!
- [Spiker and Sponge are outside the peach, looking for James]
- Aunt Spiker: Where are you? You detestable little worm!
- Earthworm: AAAHHHHHH!
- James: Not you, ME!
- James: When I had a problem, my mom and dad would tell me to look at it another way.
- Earthworm: How? First, I was bird bait, then I was shark bait.
- James: I suppose, but you could say you gave us wings to fly, and defeated a giant shark single-handedly.
- Earthworm: No-handedly.
- James: You're a hero.
- Earthworm: I am? I'm Wonder Worm!
- James: You are!
- Aunt Sponge: I look and smell, I do declare, as lovely as a rose. Just feast your eyes upon my face, observe my shapely nose. Behold my heavenly silky locks, and if I take off both my socks, you'll see my dainty toes.
- Aunt Spiker: But don't forget, my dearest Sponge, how much your tummy shows!
- [in the darkness]
- Earthworm: [Centipede pinches him] Ow! What was that?
- Centipede: Sorry, I thought you were the spider.
- Grasshopper: [Miss Spider hits him] Ouch. What was *that*?
- Miss Spider: Excuse, I thought you were the Centipede.
- Centipede: We're not lost.
- Grasshopper: Then where are we?
- Centipede: Somewhere up north. Or, possibly, very far south.
- Grasshopper: What's your latitude? What's your longitude?
- Centipede: Hey, hey, hey! That's personal, bud!
- [the Beat Cop has been asked the phone that what the large fruit is]
- Beat Cop: Mabel, we got us a huge, unidentified object here.
- Mabel: What's a look-a-like?
- Beat Cop: Round, fuzzy, It looks some like a giant fruit or something.
- Mabel: Well, what is it?
- Beat Cop: I don't know what it is! Just send us the biggest crane in New York!
- [he hangs up]
- [the compass is lost during a storm]
- Grasshopper: We'll be blown off course!
- Centipede: We'll wind up in Jersey!
- [everyone is discussing how to get the peach to New York]
- James: We could... No, it's stupid.
- Grasshopper: Compared to what?
- James: Well, I suppose we could fly out.
- Centipede: He's right. It's stupid.
- Earthworm: She won't be coming down here with the spray. She'll be coming down here with a shovel. It happened to m' brother. Split him right down the middle. Now I have two half-brothers.
- James: Please, sir, how do I get to the Empire State Building?
- Hard Hat Man: You're on top of it, kid.
- James: We made it!
- James: [solemnly] Well, I made it.
- The Grasshopper: No-one is going to squoosh you, old boy. You're six feet long now.
- Earthworm: Bigger targets.
- [Gazing at the giant peach]
- Aunt Sponge: Can you smell that, Spikey? It smells delicious!
- Aunt Spiker: No! It smells like... money!
- Ladybug: I crave the tasty tentacles of octopi for tea/I like hot dogs, but I love hot frogs, and surely you'll agree/A plate of soil with engine oil is a super recipe. I hardy need to mention that it's practically free!
- Spider: We are in the middle of the, how do you say, the big puddle.
- Centipede: Biggest puddle of 'em all, angel fangs - the Atlantic Ocean.
- Old Green Grasshopper: Technically, the Pacific is the biggest.
- Centipede: Well, that goes without saying.
- Earthworm: We gotta get out of here. We'll be turned into living statues.
- Grasshopper: *Dead* living statues!
- Old Green Grasshopper: Oh this is all my fault.
- Earthworm: Hey don't take all the credit, I helped too!
- [the centipede is being stretched out by the pirates; one approaches with an axe]
- Centipede: It's Paul Bunyan. He's come to cut me some slack. Hey, aiming a little low, aren't you, buddy? He's going to cut me in half!
- [on his experience of the world]
- Centipede: I did live between two pages of The National Geographic. Very informative magazine, the National Geographic. Lots of nice pictures.
- Aunt Sponge: Here he is. Get up, you little worm! We sent you out here to kill a spider!
- Aunt Spiker: Not to laze about.
- James: I wasn't lazing about, I tripped.
- Aunt Sponge: How dare you disagree with us.
- Aunt Spiker: Beat him, Sponge!
- [comes to him, grabs him]
- Aunt Sponge: [sighs] It's too early.
- Aunt Spiker: Well, that makes you the luckiest boy alive. Now, come inside and get dressed!
- Grasshopper: [singing] For dinner on my birthday, shall I tell you what I chose? Hot noodles made from poodles on a slice of garden hose/And a rather smelly jelly made from armadillo's toes/The jelly is delicious, but you have to hold your nose!
- Miss Spider: No one will be eating you James.
- Centipede: Naw, she'll just puncture your head and suck out the brains.
- Miss Spider: That I am saving for you.
- Earthworm: Great! We'll be stuck here until we starve and die.
- The Grasshopper: Highly improbable.
- Ladybug: Well, that's encouraging.
- The Grasshopper: We are far more likely to drown.
- The Grasshopper, Centipede: [to each other, after their fighting knocks the last of the food overboard] NOW look what you've done!
- Aunt Sponge: You lazy bug! Who told you to stop working?
- James: I finished the wood.
- [Aunt Spiker snatches his travel book and sees it]
- Aunt Spiker: A travel book? How dare you even dream of leaving.
- [Spiker and Sponge grabs his arms to get him up]
- Aunt Sponge: This is the only home you'll ever had.
- Aunt Spiker: No one else would tolerate a worthless little nothing like you.
- [She gives to Sponge]
- Aunt Sponge: [sees his travel book] Where did you get this? Where?
- James: Father gave it to me. He said we were go there one day.
- Aunt Spiker: Stupid foolish man.
- Aunt Sponge: Foolish man, always dreaming. That's what got him killed.
- Aunt Spiker: And your mother.
- Aunt Sponge: Had his head in the clouds instead of looking where he was going!
- Aunt Spiker: He never even saw that rhino coming.
- Aunt Sponge: That rhino!
- Aunt Spiker: And the beast will get you too, if you don't behave.
- Aunt Sponge: [ripping his travel book] Now, get these stupid dreams out of your head!
- Aunt Spiker, Aunt Sponge: And get back to work!
- Aunt Spiker: [In New York, as James is about to reveal the aunts' cruelty] Come along. You're going home with us.
- James: No, I'm not.
- Aunt Spiker: [skin Cracking] What did you say?
- James: I said... no... I'm... not! I hate that house and that cold room and how I was always hungry.
- Aunt Spiker: All right, that's enough!
- James: And how you beat me!
- Aunt Sponge: [gasps] He's lying!
- James: And told me I was nothing!
- Aunt Spiker: Shut up!
- Aunt Sponge: Shut up! Shut up!
- James: No, not this time! I flew the giant peach across the ocean. I landed on top of the tallest building in the world. I made it! I'm not the one who's nothing. You are! And I'm never going back with you! Not me and not the peach.
- Aunt Spiker: How dare you speak to us this way.
- [the aunts-turned-enemies grab axes, yells and fight James]
- Centipede: Biggest puddle of them all, Angel Fangs. The Atlantic Ocean.
- The Grasshopper: Tecnically, the Pacific is larger.
- Centipede: Well... that goes without saying.