Episode Transcript
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This is a podcast from wor theJesse Kelly Show. Let's have some fun
on a Monday. And what agigantic Monday it is, of course,
medal of honor Monday's coming up anhour from now, a huge Supreme Court
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decision today about Trump's immunity. Ofcourse, we're gonna lead off the show
talking about that. There is adivide, the bidens versus the rest of
the system. This show gonna stay, Is you gonna go? We'll talk
about that, political opponents being lockedup? Is it a quote Cuban thing
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to have political corruption? And allthat, plus emails and so much more
coming up tonight on the world famousJesse Kelly Show. Now, as it
pertains to the Supreme Court decision today, Trump gets immunity. Now, I'm
just I'm not gonna pour cold waterall over anything. What happened today was
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great, absolutely great. It wasa good thing. However, keep in
mind it's a little bit more complicatedthan Trump was immune. What the Supreme
Court did today was they said,obviously he's immune from everything he did as
an official thing, and he mightbe immune from some things that aren't necessarily
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official, but it was him actingas president and he's definitely not immune for
anything in regards to a personal matter. That's how it was explained to me
by every lawyer I know. Infact, this guy, Washington examiner Kaylindese
is his name. He did alittle forty eight second explainer on it.
You want to get smarter, here'sKaylin Deese. This is what actually happened.
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There's absolute immunity for official acts fora president. There is not absolute
immunity for unofficial acts. So whatthat means essentially is that Trump's case is
going to have to go back downto a lower court to US District Judge
Kanye Chuckkin, where this whole casestarted, and she's going to have to
do some inspection of the aggravating offensesin the indictment, the fore count indictment
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by Special Counsel Jack Smith, andthen that process will take perhaps months.
And what that is raising right nowis whether this twenty twenty election subversion case
brought by Jack Smith can make itto trial before the election. And we
know that there is a great chancethat Trump could pardon himself if he wins
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the election again, and so itraises the question of whether we will even
see this case go to trial.Okay, so it's good. It's good.
It's not a blank slight just likewe were thinking we would. I
told you before they were going tosplit the baby. He's immune, but
not all the way immune. Butwhat happened today was a good thing,
a very good thing. We willsee how it plays out from here.
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Remember these judges like this Tanya Chutkinjudge, this Trump judge in DC.
She is a rabid communist and Obamaappointee, hardcore anti Trumper. This woman,
whatever she can correctly do, shewill do so. Again, not
totally out of the woods. Buta great day and may very well have
saved Trump from jail, but notin New York City. That's another thing
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I got clarification on. Remember,in two weeks Trump gets sentenced for his
thirty four felony convictions in New YorkCity. I asked, point blank,
does this affect any of those charges? Every single one? To a man,
that would be five attorneys I hadto talk to today, and you
owe me a debt of gratitude fortalking to five lawyers in one day.
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Anyway, All five of them saidno, absolutely not. This doesn't save
or change anything, as it pertainsto New York. There that's the Trump
side of it. Good good day. I want to move on and I
want to talk about the other sideof it. I'm going to talk about
the reaction to this decision today.The reaction from the communists. The reaction
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has been remarkably consistent. I haveto say I'm looking at I mean,
I could read post after post.The Supreme Court just gave Joe Biden an
equivocal immunity to order the military totake action against Trump today right now.
That's from Bradley P. Moss.Sounds and looks like a loser. This
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is another one. Justice sodom Iore'sdescent quote orders the Navy Sealed Team six
to assassinate a political rival, Immune, orders military coup to hold on to
power, Immune, so on andso forth. Here's another one. Biden
should have Trump killed. This isfrom a Jack Eason on social media.
He says Biden should have Trump killedand see what what happens next. It
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wasn't just on social media, It'sall over the media media. This was
on MSNBC. The thing that hasnot dealt with here is the hypothetical that
was dealt with in the Court ofAppeals about Seal Team six, And it
is unclear how they actually studiously avoiddealing with that, because you could make
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the argument that that is official conductat the very least presumptively. How would
you sit there and say, Ihave determined, as commander in chief that
this is necessary. And the waythat Judge Pan in the Lower Court phrased
it was, what if the presidentdecides that a political adversary is a threat
to democracy and orders the killing?That is that? And why isn't that?
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Now? Do you remember when wewere having fun one night, we
were just screwing off. It wasa slow news day. Do you remember
when we had that discussion? I'veeven opened up the phone lines for it,
of what would you do if tomorrowyou were handed what amounts to unlimited
amount of money? I don't rememberthe amount we put on it that night.
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If it was an amount, Ithink I said ten billion, but
the number basically was a number thatwas unlimited. What would you do?
I'm going somewhere with this. Juststay with me. Do you remember that
discussion? You remember what I said? Actually, more specifically so in case
you're just now joining us or youdidn't, did it? Weren't here that
night. Here was the thought experiment. And it's not exactly a new concept,
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right, What would you do ifyou didn't have to worry about money?
But this was something we did.If you were handed an unlimited amount
of money, what would you dowith it? Outside of the responsible things?
So it wasn't you know why,I'd pay off my mortgage and I'd
invest half in a bunch of stocksand then I'd start a college fund.
Oh gosh, that was not itat all. It was what would you
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do? Would you build a swimmingpool and fill it? Fill it up
with skittles and go swimming? Wouldyou are a dog rescue charity? Would
you buy a private jet? Wouldyou buy a fleet of private jets?
Would you buy a penthouse? Wouldyou buy a ranch? Would you what
would you do? Would you travelthe world? I want to see every
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country? Would you fly fresh lobsterin from Maine every night? What would
you do? And you remember whatmy answer was? Just this will come
back to the story. Stay withme. Remember what my answer was.
I've dreamed of I've dreamt of thismy whole life. I know it will
never happen, but I've dreamt ofit, I said, I wanted to
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rent a yacht, a big yacht. We're talking one you cross oceans with.
And I want to bring pick anumber, ten twenty friends, family
members, and I want the yachtfully staffed, chefs, people, cleaning,
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cooking, whatever you need. Andwe're all going to gather on this
yacht, jet skis, the works, and we're gonna sail across the ocean.
Maybe we'll meet and why you we'llstart there. We'll sail across the
ocean, and I want to doa tour of all the major islands where
we fought in World War II.And on that tour, I want a
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personalized tour guide at each island waitingfor us to take us through the island
and show us everything. This wasthis battle, This was this battle.
And when we're not on the islands, of course, we'll be on our
luxury. Yeah, we'll be sunningourselves on the swimming pool on the roof
and jet skis and the works.Now you remember that, And in case
you don't remember that, that's that'swhat my dream was. It is will
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never happen, but it's my dream. But here's the thing. Why is
that experiment fun? Well, it'sfun to spend money you don't have.
It's fun to dream. But oneof the things that makes that experiment fun,
that meant to experiment whatever you wouldwant to do, is it reveals
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things about you, maybe even thingsyou like, maybe things you hate.
It reveals things about you. IfI told you I could hand you ten
billion dollars and you immediately said Iwould give all of it to homeless kids,
Okay, well, that reveals alot of good things about you because
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me, I didn't even consider anyoneelse. I only thought about me.
Reveals that I'm selfish. What elsedoes it reveal about me? My dream?
What does it reveal about me?What do I love? I very
clearly like the ocean. I loveboats. I don't own one, I'll
probably never own one, But Ilove boats, big ones, small ones.
I love boats. I love food. And it also reveals, probably
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not the most flattering thing. Ilike to be waited on. I want
a whole staff there I want Idon't want to clean the bathroom. I
want you to clean the bathroom.If I want a special pizza for dinner,
I want you to make it.It reveals that I love jet Skis
it reveals that I like to bearound friends and family. It reveals,
of course, obviously that I lovehistory very clearly. I'm a history geek
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because I was handed ten billion dollarsand that's what I chose. It reveals
things about me that that is mydream. Now I want to talk about
the communists. I want to talkabout the American left's reaction to this Supreme
Court ruling today. Let's talk aboutwhat it reveals, shall we? Before
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we do that, let me revealsomething to you, Pure Talk. If
we're gonna hop on this boat,we're gonna cross the ocean. I know
what you're sitting there wondering. You'resitting there thinking to yourself, but what
about my cell phone service? Youknow that Puretalk not only domestically. Are
they on the same vibe Gen networkas one of the big guys that they
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are expanding all the time. They'reinternational roamly. I believe it's well over
thirty countries now. So even ifwe're over there somewhere, who knows where
we'll be, you can still calland say, hey, Mom, you
should have seen it. Jesse wasso cool on the jet ski today.
You want to be able to dothat and save a bunch of money because
our bill got cut in half.When we switch to peertalk, pick up
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your phone dial pound two five zeroand say Jesse Kelly pound two five zero.
Say Jesse Kelly, today's the day. Switch to peer talk. We'll
be back. He doesn't care ifyou believe him. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show on a Monday. Remember, if you want, you can email
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the show whatever you want Jesse atjessekellyshow dot com. In case you're just
joining us, we're discussing. We'reabout to discuss the left's reaction to the
Supreme Court decision today that Donald Trumpis immune. He's immune, mostly immune.
He's not immune from everything, buthe's mostly immune. And upon this
announcement, you cheered, and theyran to social media, ran to the
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news, ran to everywhere, andsaid things along the lines I know you've
seen it, I know you've heardit. Well, I guess we could
just assassinate someone. I guess thepresident should just send the Seal team six
after Trump. You've heard this allday long, all day long, things
like that. The thing that isnot dealt with here is the hypothetical that
was dealt with in the Court ofAppeals about Seal Team six, And it
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is unclear how they actually studiously avoiddealing with that, because you could make
the argument that that is official conductat the very least presumptively, how would
you make ument you'd sit there andsay, I am determined, as commander
in chief that this is necessary.And the way that Judge Pan in the
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Lower Court phrased it was, whatif the president decides that a political adversary
is a threat to democracy and ordersthe So I was just talking about what
I would do if you gave meten billion dollars and I told you what
I would do, yacht friends WorldWar two Pacific tour, and it reveals
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things about me. You know what? This is every single communist you know
today, at your liberal aunt Peggy, the people on the news, Democrats
does it doesn't matter, pick yourdemocrat, every Democrat you know today,
they all responded the exact same way. Well, I guess the president can
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just have someone killed. Now,do you know what? You know what
that really reveals. It reveals howthey think. In the world of poker,
that's what's known as a tel Yousee, if you were to tell
me, if you were to withoutdetails or without legal constraints, if you
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were to tell me, hey,Jesse, I'm gonna make you president and
you can do whatever you want.I'll be honest with you right now,
I would fire almost every federal employeeand eliminate almost every single government agency.
It's the very first thing I woulddo, and I don't even know that
i'd have to do much else.That's my instinct. That's what I would
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do if you gave me unchecked power, no restraints, no Congress, no
judges, no nothing. Here's thepresidency, Jesse. You're immune. You
do whatever you want. Telling youright now, everybody fired gone, You're
all fired, agencies gone. Butapparently if you give these people unchecked power,
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they would murder somebody. And ifyou say, well, that's not
what they're saying, Well, whywhy is that the very first thing that
came to mind for every Democrat inthe United States of America. Well,
I guess you could just send themilitary to murder somebody. Do you know
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why that came to the mind ofall the communists in this country, because
that's exactly how they think. Justlike me, handing you ten billion dollars,
whatever you said you would do withit is revealing about you. It's
a revelation about you and your desires, in who you are, in what
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you want out of life. Thesame thing can be said about every single
person you've seen online on social mediain your personal life. Referencing the president
ordering the military to murder his politicalopponents, it's the first thing that came
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to all of their minds, becauseit's the first thing they would do if
given that power. Oh, Jesse, that's crazy, that's too far.
Really, the entire one hundred plusyear history of leftism has proven, beyond
a shadow of a doubt, thatis always the first thing the communist does
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when he achieves power over especially themilitary, when he gets a secret state
police, when he gets the militarycompletely in his hands, he will then
use all those guns to murder peoplewho oppose him politically. And is it
a shock? Is it even atiny shock that today, across the spectrum
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of the American left, top tobottom, up and down, that's exactly
how they reacted to the Trump rulingtoday. How revealing about how these people
think. Well, I guess itmeans Trump can just murder someone as president.
Why are you? Why are youthinking about the president murdering somebody?
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Why is that something that even enteredinto your mind because that's how you think.
And because if you were ever giventhe office of the presidency and you
knew you were immune, you knewyou had the power to do so that's
exactly what you would do, youdirty communist. You see, you can
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always tell who people are once they'regiven money, once they're given power.
You know, there's this old wayof thinking that that money ruins people.
Ah, he changed since he gotrich or got he money doesn't ruin anybody.
Money reveals who you really are.There are all kinds of people out
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there, businessmen, athletes who wouldpick your person, who get money somehow
someway and do tremendous good with thatamount of money. And there are all
kinds of people who do nothing good, own these selfish things with all kinds
of money. The money itself didn'tchange a thing. The money revealed who
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that person was. And the samething applies to political power. Your liberal
a pegy talks about Trump having themilitary murder people because that's what she would
do with the military if she hadthe power to do so. Period,
end the story. And that's whyyou better start taking your chalk, because
we share a country with these viledemons. We share a country with people
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whose first instinct is to murder,hurt, control, arrest. It's their
first instinct. It's the first thingthat comes to their mind. Do you
have the tea levels to combat it? Or are you tired all the time?
Are you depressed all the time?Gentlemen, there's estrogen in the water.
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It's not your fault. They allthrough our plastics, our waters.
We shower for fifteen minutes in estrogenevery day. For me, it's fibes
that I don't have hair now,but it's probably fifteen for you. Start
taking a male Vitality stack from chalktwenty percent increase in your testosterone levels in
ninety days and you will feel sogood. You feel just ready to go
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at all times in your mind worksbetter and your mood works better. Are
you ready to just smile again andlaugh again? Chuck dot Com promo code
Jesse or you can call him fivezero Chuck three thousand. We'll be back.
Is the Jesse Kelly Show. Ona Monday. Tell talking about poker
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reminded me of that sweet movie Rounders, Chris, did you ever see Rounders?
You never saw Rounders? I betMichael saw Rounders. Michael, did
you see Rounders? You freaking children. Rounders is a sick It's like a
poker movie. Who does these undergroundpoker clubs? You've got to watch Rounders.
It's a total dude movie. Anyway, he was talking about Tells.
In one of the scenes in themovies, he's playing poker against this really
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bad guy that's rushing gangster dude andhe finally figures out the dudes. Tell
the dudes messing with a whatever.It's a great movie, Chris. We're
not talking about movies right now.We have to focus on America. So
that was the Supreme Court decision today. And you know, Sonya Sotobayoor,
the really really really hardcore communists onthe Supreme Court, she of course wrote
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a descent, and then she capsher descent with this little gem with fear
for our democracy. I descent.I just want to again. I know
you get bored with me saying it, even though you've never said that.
You probably don't, but I wantto remind everybody we are not a democracy.
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Democracies are evil, horrible things.The Founders warned explicitly against democracy.
We are not a democracy. Democracyis where majority rules, the mob rules.
The mob can take away your rightsat any time. And it's not
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an accident. The American communist hastried to bring that word into the mainstream.
Our democracy, democracy, our democracy. He threatens democracy democracy. They're
doing that on purpose. They chosethat word on purpose because that's exactly what
they want us to be. Theywant to import tens of millions of barbarians
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from all over the world and thenturn this country into a democracy where those
barbarians can decide on whether or notyou're allowed to keep your ar fifteen.
We are not a democracy under anysense of the word. And oh,
thank you for this little Jim Michael. Michael printed me this one out.
You remember what Vladimir Lenin said aboutdemocracy. You probably don't, because I
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didn't either. Michael printed it forme. Quote. In a capitalist society,
we have a democracy that is curttailed, wretched, false, a democracy
only for the rich, for theminority, the dictatorship of the prolo Harriet.
The period of transition to communism willfor the first time create democracy for
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the people for the majority, alongwith the necessary suppression of the exploiters of
the minority. Communism alone is capableof providing real, complete democracy, and
the more complete it is, thesooner it will become unnecessary and wither away
of its own accord. The communists, they love that word. Remind your
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child when he comes home from socialstudies. Mammy, our teacher told us
about our democracy today. Remind yourchild and shoot an email to that teacher.
We are not a democracy. Nowit's time to talk about what happened
over the weekend with the Bidens,the Biden family and everything else. But
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speaking of communists, I do wantto point this out, Dome. Vice
President Dome. You've seen her alot more over the last seventy two hours
or so than you did before.Why is that everyone's starting to flirt with
the idea that this woman might actuallybecome president of the United States of America.
Joe Biden might not make it toNovember. She might If he does
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make it to November. In Wins, we all know he ain't making it
another four years, and if hedrops out, they might have to hand
the nomination to her. And youknow this. You know, for the
longest time on this show, wehave mocked her for repeating this same line.
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This is a line she has usedfor ages, and you know how
long I've made fun of her forthis, And the line goes like this,
we see what can be unburdened bywhat has been? And credit to
them, URNC Research did a mashup. I'm not going to play it for
you, it's all four minutes.I'll just play you a little bit of
it. They did a mashup ofall the times she's used this line.
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So here is a little sample.I can imagine what can be and be
unburdened by what has been? Youknow, what can be unburdened by what
has been? What can be unburdenedby what has been? What can be
unburdened by what has been? Whatcan be unburdened by what has been?
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What we can see, what webelieve can be unburdened by what has been?
Well, okay, I'm gonna sayit goes on for four minutes.
This is her favorite line, beenusing it for years. I'm sure some
college student wrote it for, somespeech writer wrote it for, and she
fell in love with it and justwrapped her arms around it like it was
Willie Brown. And she has carriedit with her everywhere she's gone. But
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why why that line It's not thatI have a problem with politicians using the
same line over and over again.They're famous for this. Oh pause,
little side note here. Don't worry. I'm not gonna lose track. My
focus is just stay focused. Youpeople running for office, I've been encouraging
you to run for office, localoffice, county supervisor, school board,
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city council, share of you,name it. We need to begin becoming
activists running for local office. AndI get emails all the time. I'm
nervous, Jesse. I don't speakin front of people. I don't know
what I'm doing. Here's a littletidbit from me to you about running for
office. No matter what office you'rerunning for, you will have to give
speeches. There's no question about that. You're gonna have to stand up in
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a room and you're gonna have tospeak in front of people. So here
it is. You come up witha speech. You should probably have a
two minute version and a five minuteversion. You come up with a speech,
practice it at home, practice itin front of your spouse, your
kids, whatever. You come upwith the speech you want to give,
and then you go give that speech, and you will suck the first time.
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You'll be nervous, so you'll bestiff and it'll suck. Don't change
it. Don't change a thing everywhereyou go, and you'll feel awkward.
You give the same speech, youwill feel awkward because you already heard it.
Oh, surely they already heard it. I don't want to repeat myself.
Don't you dare change? You givethe same speech everywhere you go,
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and what you will find over timeis the familiarity you have with the speech
breeds your comfort was speaking in frontof people. Yeah, you're nervous to
speak in front of people. It'sa two minute speech. You've given it
one hundred times. You can doit, and you're sleep and then you'll
get looser and the speech will youwhat. You'll make little adjustments and it'll
get better. Okay. So anyway, setting that aside, politicians use the
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same lines over and over again.I know that you know that everyone knows
that. But why does she fallin love with that line? Well,
it goes back to what we've talkedabout many times before. How in the
world can you so l in evil, demonic religion of destruction to normal people
who were never going to sign onto something that's an evil demonic religion of
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destruction. That's not exactly a greatseller, is it. Hey, come
on around, I'll teach you howto be an evil demon that destroys everything.
Probably not gonna lead with that.How do you sell it? You
massage, you work with your language. Pole Pot. When he was taking
over Cambodia, getting ready to murdera quarter of his country, Polepot he
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famously declared, year zero. Nothingthat came before this matters. It's years
zero, guys. Almost sounds good. Right, Hey, we're gonna clean
slate. Let's wipe out the pastnow in practice? What did Polepop mean
by that? Well, we're gonnamurder everybody. We're gonna destroy all of
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our industry and murder everyone we possiblycan. That's what he meant. But
you don't want to lead with that. Say you lead with year zero,
clean slate? Why why love thisso much? I can imagine what can
be and be unburdened by what hasbeen. You know what can be unburdened
by what has been? Well,unburdened by what has been means everything you
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know, your values, your country, your economy, your rights, your
everything, it's all a burden.Let's shake those shackles off, shall we?
And then once we get unburdened bythis society you've built, Once I
unburden you from things like food,then of course you can see what can
be. Don't be nervous about allthe things I want to destroy. Just
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focus on the glorious future. Ipromise you see what can be unburdened by
what has been. It's just anotherway to say year zero. That's a
fact. Now let's talk about theBiden drama that happened over the weekend.
Before we talk about that, let'stalk about, well, something very very
real. I I wake up alot of days in America and I look
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around and I feel so blessed.And this is no this day is no
different. And the more stories youread about the despicable things happening to people
over there in Israel, the moreit makes you feel really, really blessed
to live in a place that isn'tbeing raided and rocketed every single day.
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It's awful. And the International Federationof Christians and Jews the IFCJ, what
they're doing is they've come up witha pledge. That's always it's a pledge.
All you do is go sign itat SUPPORTIFCJ dot org. Now,
why would that matter? Who cares? Right? So signing a pledge,
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No, it does matter. Whenthat pledge is finished, they want five
thousand signatures, gonna go over thereand they're gonna present it to them and
say, hey, just to letyou know you're not alone. We are
praying for you, we are standingwith you. Isn't that freaking wonderful support?
IFCJ dot org, We'll be backthe Jesse It is the Jesse Kelly
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Show, only ten minutes away fromMetal of Honor Monday, and I know
I have to get to all thisBiden drama from over the weekend. The
Biden family met and there's all kindsof dissension and the ranks. Don't forget
email the show whatever you want Jesseat Jesse kellyshow dot com. So I
do have to speaking of dissension beforewe get to the Biden family and the
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problems they're having there. I haveto be very honest with you about the
Kelly family and the problems we arehaving. Things are a little rough at
home right now, and here's what'sgoing on. You see, I I
love to eat eat deep fried foods. If you can deep fry it.
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I want to try it. Allright, that rhymed. I didn't mean
for that to rhyme. Now thatit did, I've decided I like that
line and I'm gonna keep it.So that's my line, patent pending.
If you can deep fry it,I want to try it. I have
had deep fried butter. I've haddeep fried pizza that wasn't as good as
you think. I should note oneof the greatest deep fried things I've ever
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eaten in my life was at theTexas State Fair. I had a deep
fried grilled cheese sandwich. It wasmagnificent. Magnificent. Okay. I like
to eat fried foods, and thatbrings me to the old ball and chain.
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My wife, Aubrey, she's abit more healthy. You would say,
it's just one of those people AppleWatch people. She's one of those
people just kills herself for an houra day day in the gym. She
was a gymnast, right, she'san elite athlete. Ah, that's nan
healthy and then it's not organic,man and man and man. So she
has resisted for the longest time purchasingany kind of a deep fryer for the
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house. She air fries as thingsall the time. And I will admit
her air fried chicken is the greatestchicken I've ever eaten. Airflyers are legit.
But every now and then I wantsome grease. I want grease in
my life. And my son andI my youngest son, Luke, he's
a French fry freak. And youmay think you like French fries. I
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like French fries. I've never seenanything like this in my entire life.
He will order a burger and friesand he'll throw all the fries on the
burger. It's just he's a frynut. We have decided we are putting
our foot down and we're gonna deepfry some fries at the house, and
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we're gonna try shrimp too. SoI, without any consulting of her whatsoever,
I decided I've had enough and Iwent and bought a little tub of
beef tallow. I like things thatare fried in tallow better. That just
taste better and it's healthier. Chrisand I got one of those little mini
deep fryers for like thirty four dollars. Like I didn't spend a bunch of
(33:20):
money. I was looking for somethingon sale. I didn't want to break
the bank on something like this.So it was thirty four to thirty five
dollars and tonight we're going to deepfry some French fries. The wife asked
why potatoes were on the grocery list. She went grocery shopping today and I
finally, look, I came cleanand I let her know what it was.
(33:45):
Then I let her know there wasgoing to be some deep frying in
the house. And she wasn't thatreceptive of it. She wasn't that great
about it. The deep frying isstill gonna happen. And how are things
by tomorrow morning? I don't know, but I know this. I'm eating
fries, and yes, fries fromscratch, Chris. How hard can they
be? No, it's not alot of work, Chris. It's no.
(34:07):
You don't have to cook them threetimes. Look, it's not a
lot of work when you have sons. Okay, when I get home,
I'm gonna hand my sons to potatoes, and I'm gonna hand them the potato
peeler and I'm gonna say, haveat it, boys, And what Chris?
What? Yes? You peel thefries? Chris? You don't eat
the skin on the fries like somesort of barbarian nobody likes. I know
(34:29):
they're Wendy's fries. That's disgusting.That's one. Two. You don't need
the skin on the fry. Thefry needs to be thin. The fry
needs to be skinless. The fryneeds to be crispy. That's what the
fry needs to be. Everything aroundthe house. You just had your first
kid, so you don't realize thisshit. Everything around the house gets easier
(34:51):
when you have these slaves called children. I'm not gonna put in any real
effort tonight. I'll act like I'min all the effort. I'll stand by
the deep fryer. I'll make sureit's a temperature. When they hand me
fries, I'll drop them in.They're gonna have to do all the peeling,
and you know, they'll slice theirfingers when they're peeling, and I
(35:13):
will laugh, hahaha. You shouldhave been more careful. And then they're
gonna have to cut the potatoes.Now that might be a little more dangerous,
so there could be an er visit. I don't know, they're gonna
peel the potatoes, cut the potatoes, and then I think I read somewhere
that they should soak the fries inwater for a couple of minutes. For
some reason, I don't know.This sounds stupid, and then I'll handle
the deep fry Look all this isgoing to be delicious, and we're gonna
(35:36):
try shrimp too. I'm sure I'llmassacre that. Hey, Chris, you
want any shrimp? I'm kidding,what Chris? What? See that's the
problem. See Chris said, havethem handle the deep fryer. You don't
let boys get into too much danger. You can present them with the potato
peeler and you know at some pointin time they'll be sore fighting with it
(36:00):
or something, and one of themis gonna skin a finger. Not the
end of the world. If youallow them to mess with like a deep
fryer with hot oil, someone's goingto the er with third degree burns.
You have to understand, here's atrue statement. I didn't come up with
this, but it's true. Youtake a group of boys, however big
(36:20):
the group is. You take thelowest IQ in the group, whoever has
the lowest IQ in the group,and then whatever that number is, you
divide it by the number of boysin the group. So if the guy
with the lowest IQ has an eightyand there are four boys, you divide
that and what you have left istwenty. What is that number? Twenty?
(36:44):
That is the collective IQ of agroup of young boys. I will
let my sons peel their fingers upwith a potato peeler. I can't let
them around the hot oil. Plus, that's the easiest jomp. That's the
job I take for me as thefather. I then supervise anyway. The
wife's not happy about it, butit's happening anyway. And now now she'll
just be worried about the mess.She'll show end up taking over and doing
(37:07):
the whole thing. This is marriage. One oh one, Fellas learn from
me. This has been a podcastfrom wor
This is a podcast from wor theJesse Kelly Show. Let's have some fun
on a Monday. And what agigantic Monday it is, of course,
medal of honor Monday's coming up anhour from now, a huge Supreme Court
(00:23):
decision today about Trump's immunity. Ofcourse, we're gonna lead off the show
talking about that. There is adivide, the bidens versus the rest of
the system. This show gonna stay, Is you gonna go? We'll talk
about that, political opponents being lockedup? Is it a quote Cuban thing
(00:43):
to have political corruption? And allthat, plus emails and so much more
coming up tonight on the world famousJesse Kelly Show. Now, as it
pertains to the Supreme Court decision today, Trump gets immunity. Now, I'm
just I'm not gonna pour cold waterall over anything. What happened today was
(01:07):
great, absolutely great. It wasa good thing. However, keep in
mind it's a little bit more complicatedthan Trump was immune. What the Supreme
Court did today was they said,obviously he's immune from everything he did as
an official thing, and he mightbe immune from some things that aren't necessarily
(01:34):
official, but it was him actingas president and he's definitely not immune for
anything in regards to a personal matter. That's how it was explained to me
by every lawyer I know. Infact, this guy, Washington examiner Kaylindese
is his name. He did alittle forty eight second explainer on it.
You want to get smarter, here'sKaylin Deese. This is what actually happened.
(01:57):
There's absolute immunity for official acts fora president. There is not absolute
immunity for unofficial acts. So whatthat means essentially is that Trump's case is
going to have to go back downto a lower court to US District Judge
Kanye Chuckkin, where this whole casestarted, and she's going to have to
do some inspection of the aggravating offensesin the indictment, the fore count indictment
(02:23):
by Special Counsel Jack Smith, andthen that process will take perhaps months.
And what that is raising right nowis whether this twenty twenty election subversion case
brought by Jack Smith can make itto trial before the election. And we
know that there is a great chancethat Trump could pardon himself if he wins
(02:45):
the election again, and so itraises the question of whether we will even
see this case go to trial.Okay, so it's good. It's good.
It's not a blank slight just likewe were thinking we would. I
told you before they were going tosplit the baby. He's immune, but
not all the way immune. Butwhat happened today was a good thing,
a very good thing. We willsee how it plays out from here.
(03:07):
Remember these judges like this Tanya Chutkinjudge, this Trump judge in DC.
She is a rabid communist and Obamaappointee, hardcore anti Trumper. This woman,
whatever she can correctly do, shewill do so. Again, not
totally out of the woods. Buta great day and may very well have
saved Trump from jail, but notin New York City. That's another thing
(03:31):
I got clarification on. Remember,in two weeks Trump gets sentenced for his
thirty four felony convictions in New YorkCity. I asked, point blank,
does this affect any of those charges? Every single one? To a man,
that would be five attorneys I hadto talk to today, and you
owe me a debt of gratitude fortalking to five lawyers in one day.
(03:51):
Anyway, All five of them saidno, absolutely not. This doesn't save
or change anything, as it pertainsto New York. There that's the Trump
side of it. Good good day. I want to move on and I
want to talk about the other sideof it. I'm going to talk about
the reaction to this decision today.The reaction from the communists. The reaction
(04:15):
has been remarkably consistent. I haveto say I'm looking at I mean,
I could read post after post.The Supreme Court just gave Joe Biden an
equivocal immunity to order the military totake action against Trump today right now.
That's from Bradley P. Moss.Sounds and looks like a loser. This
(04:38):
is another one. Justice sodom Iore'sdescent quote orders the Navy Sealed Team six
to assassinate a political rival, Immune, orders military coup to hold on to
power, Immune, so on andso forth. Here's another one. Biden
should have Trump killed. This isfrom a Jack Eason on social media.
He says Biden should have Trump killedand see what what happens next. It
(05:01):
wasn't just on social media, It'sall over the media media. This was
on MSNBC. The thing that hasnot dealt with here is the hypothetical that
was dealt with in the Court ofAppeals about Seal Team six, And it
is unclear how they actually studiously avoiddealing with that, because you could make
(05:24):
the argument that that is official conductat the very least presumptively. How would
you sit there and say, Ihave determined, as commander in chief that
this is necessary. And the waythat Judge Pan in the Lower Court phrased
it was, what if the presidentdecides that a political adversary is a threat
to democracy and orders the killing?That is that? And why isn't that?
(05:48):
Now? Do you remember when wewere having fun one night, we
were just screwing off. It wasa slow news day. Do you remember
when we had that discussion? I'veeven opened up the phone lines for it,
of what would you do if tomorrowyou were handed what amounts to unlimited
amount of money? I don't rememberthe amount we put on it that night.
(06:10):
If it was an amount, Ithink I said ten billion, but
the number basically was a number thatwas unlimited. What would you do?
I'm going somewhere with this. Juststay with me. Do you remember that
discussion? You remember what I said? Actually, more specifically so in case
you're just now joining us or youdidn't, did it? Weren't here that
night. Here was the thought experiment. And it's not exactly a new concept,
(06:31):
right, What would you do ifyou didn't have to worry about money?
But this was something we did.If you were handed an unlimited amount
of money, what would you dowith it? Outside of the responsible things?
So it wasn't you know why,I'd pay off my mortgage and I'd
invest half in a bunch of stocksand then I'd start a college fund.
Oh gosh, that was not itat all. It was what would you
(06:51):
do? Would you build a swimmingpool and fill it? Fill it up
with skittles and go swimming? Wouldyou are a dog rescue charity? Would
you buy a private jet? Wouldyou buy a fleet of private jets?
Would you buy a penthouse? Wouldyou buy a ranch? Would you what
would you do? Would you travelthe world? I want to see every
(07:12):
country? Would you fly fresh lobsterin from Maine every night? What would
you do? And you remember whatmy answer was? Just this will come
back to the story. Stay withme. Remember what my answer was.
I've dreamed of I've dreamt of thismy whole life. I know it will
never happen, but I've dreamt ofit, I said, I wanted to
(07:32):
rent a yacht, a big yacht. We're talking one you cross oceans with.
And I want to bring pick anumber, ten twenty friends, family
members, and I want the yachtfully staffed, chefs, people, cleaning,
(07:53):
cooking, whatever you need. Andwe're all going to gather on this
yacht, jet skis, the works, and we're gonna sail across the ocean.
Maybe we'll meet and why you we'llstart there. We'll sail across the
ocean, and I want to doa tour of all the major islands where
we fought in World War II.And on that tour, I want a
(08:16):
personalized tour guide at each island waitingfor us to take us through the island
and show us everything. This wasthis battle, This was this battle.
And when we're not on the islands, of course, we'll be on our
luxury. Yeah, we'll be sunningourselves on the swimming pool on the roof
and jet skis and the works.Now you remember that, And in case
you don't remember that, that's that'swhat my dream was. It is will
(08:39):
never happen, but it's my dream. But here's the thing. Why is
that experiment fun? Well, it'sfun to spend money you don't have.
It's fun to dream. But oneof the things that makes that experiment fun,
that meant to experiment whatever you wouldwant to do, is it reveals
(09:03):
things about you, maybe even thingsyou like, maybe things you hate.
It reveals things about you. IfI told you I could hand you ten
billion dollars and you immediately said Iwould give all of it to homeless kids,
Okay, well, that reveals alot of good things about you because
(09:24):
me, I didn't even consider anyoneelse. I only thought about me.
Reveals that I'm selfish. What elsedoes it reveal about me? My dream?
What does it reveal about me?What do I love? I very
clearly like the ocean. I loveboats. I don't own one, I'll
probably never own one, But Ilove boats, big ones, small ones.
I love boats. I love food. And it also reveals, probably
(09:50):
not the most flattering thing. Ilike to be waited on. I want
a whole staff there I want Idon't want to clean the bathroom. I
want you to clean the bathroom.If I want a special pizza for dinner,
I want you to make it.It reveals that I love jet Skis
it reveals that I like to bearound friends and family. It reveals,
of course, obviously that I lovehistory very clearly. I'm a history geek
(10:11):
because I was handed ten billion dollarsand that's what I chose. It reveals
things about me that that is mydream. Now I want to talk about
the communists. I want to talkabout the American left's reaction to this Supreme
Court ruling today. Let's talk aboutwhat it reveals, shall we? Before
(10:37):
we do that, let me revealsomething to you, Pure Talk. If
we're gonna hop on this boat,we're gonna cross the ocean. I know
what you're sitting there wondering. You'resitting there thinking to yourself, but what
about my cell phone service? Youknow that Puretalk not only domestically. Are
they on the same vibe Gen networkas one of the big guys that they
(10:58):
are expanding all the time. They'reinternational roamly. I believe it's well over
thirty countries now. So even ifwe're over there somewhere, who knows where
we'll be, you can still calland say, hey, Mom, you
should have seen it. Jesse wasso cool on the jet ski today.
You want to be able to dothat and save a bunch of money because
our bill got cut in half.When we switch to peertalk, pick up
(11:20):
your phone dial pound two five zeroand say Jesse Kelly pound two five zero.
Say Jesse Kelly, today's the day. Switch to peer talk. We'll
be back. He doesn't care ifyou believe him. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show on a Monday. Remember, if you want, you can email
(11:43):
the show whatever you want Jesse atjessekellyshow dot com. In case you're just
joining us, we're discussing. We'reabout to discuss the left's reaction to the
Supreme Court decision today that Donald Trumpis immune. He's immune, mostly immune.
He's not immune from everything, buthe's mostly immune. And upon this
announcement, you cheered, and theyran to social media, ran to the
(12:05):
news, ran to everywhere, andsaid things along the lines I know you've
seen it, I know you've heardit. Well, I guess we could
just assassinate someone. I guess thepresident should just send the Seal team six
after Trump. You've heard this allday long, all day long, things
like that. The thing that isnot dealt with here is the hypothetical that
was dealt with in the Court ofAppeals about Seal Team six, And it
(12:30):
is unclear how they actually studiously avoiddealing with that, because you could make
the argument that that is official conductat the very least presumptively, how would
you make ument you'd sit there andsay, I am determined, as commander
in chief that this is necessary.And the way that Judge Pan in the
(12:50):
Lower Court phrased it was, whatif the president decides that a political adversary
is a threat to democracy and ordersthe So I was just talking about what
I would do if you gave meten billion dollars and I told you what
I would do, yacht friends WorldWar two Pacific tour, and it reveals
(13:13):
things about me. You know what? This is every single communist you know
today, at your liberal aunt Peggy, the people on the news, Democrats
does it doesn't matter, pick yourdemocrat, every Democrat you know today,
they all responded the exact same way. Well, I guess the president can
(13:35):
just have someone killed. Now,do you know what? You know what
that really reveals. It reveals howthey think. In the world of poker,
that's what's known as a tel Yousee, if you were to tell
me, if you were to withoutdetails or without legal constraints, if you
(13:56):
were to tell me, hey,Jesse, I'm gonna make you president and
you can do whatever you want.I'll be honest with you right now,
I would fire almost every federal employeeand eliminate almost every single government agency.
It's the very first thing I woulddo, and I don't even know that
i'd have to do much else.That's my instinct. That's what I would
(14:18):
do if you gave me unchecked power, no restraints, no Congress, no
judges, no nothing. Here's thepresidency, Jesse. You're immune. You
do whatever you want. Telling youright now, everybody fired gone, You're
all fired, agencies gone. Butapparently if you give these people unchecked power,
(14:41):
they would murder somebody. And ifyou say, well, that's not
what they're saying, Well, whywhy is that the very first thing that
came to mind for every Democrat inthe United States of America. Well,
I guess you could just send themilitary to murder somebody. Do you know
(15:03):
why that came to the mind ofall the communists in this country, because
that's exactly how they think. Justlike me, handing you ten billion dollars,
whatever you said you would do withit is revealing about you. It's
a revelation about you and your desires, in who you are, in what
(15:24):
you want out of life. Thesame thing can be said about every single
person you've seen online on social mediain your personal life. Referencing the president
ordering the military to murder his politicalopponents, it's the first thing that came
(15:45):
to all of their minds, becauseit's the first thing they would do if
given that power. Oh, Jesse, that's crazy, that's too far.
Really, the entire one hundred plusyear history of leftism has proven, beyond
a shadow of a doubt, thatis always the first thing the communist does
(16:06):
when he achieves power over especially themilitary, when he gets a secret state
police, when he gets the militarycompletely in his hands, he will then
use all those guns to murder peoplewho oppose him politically. And is it
a shock? Is it even atiny shock that today, across the spectrum
(16:26):
of the American left, top tobottom, up and down, that's exactly
how they reacted to the Trump rulingtoday. How revealing about how these people
think. Well, I guess itmeans Trump can just murder someone as president.
Why are you? Why are youthinking about the president murdering somebody?
(16:52):
Why is that something that even enteredinto your mind because that's how you think.
And because if you were ever giventhe office of the presidency and you
knew you were immune, you knewyou had the power to do so that's
exactly what you would do, youdirty communist. You see, you can
(17:15):
always tell who people are once they'regiven money, once they're given power.
You know, there's this old wayof thinking that that money ruins people.
Ah, he changed since he gotrich or got he money doesn't ruin anybody.
Money reveals who you really are.There are all kinds of people out
(17:37):
there, businessmen, athletes who wouldpick your person, who get money somehow
someway and do tremendous good with thatamount of money. And there are all
kinds of people who do nothing good, own these selfish things with all kinds
of money. The money itself didn'tchange a thing. The money revealed who
(18:00):
that person was. And the samething applies to political power. Your liberal
a pegy talks about Trump having themilitary murder people because that's what she would
do with the military if she hadthe power to do so. Period,
end the story. And that's whyyou better start taking your chalk, because
we share a country with these viledemons. We share a country with people
(18:23):
whose first instinct is to murder,hurt, control, arrest. It's their
first instinct. It's the first thingthat comes to their mind. Do you
have the tea levels to combat it? Or are you tired all the time?
Are you depressed all the time?Gentlemen, there's estrogen in the water.
(18:44):
It's not your fault. They allthrough our plastics, our waters.
We shower for fifteen minutes in estrogenevery day. For me, it's fibes
that I don't have hair now,but it's probably fifteen for you. Start
taking a male Vitality stack from chalktwenty percent increase in your testosterone levels in
ninety days and you will feel sogood. You feel just ready to go
(19:07):
at all times in your mind worksbetter and your mood works better. Are
you ready to just smile again andlaugh again? Chuck dot Com promo code
Jesse or you can call him fivezero Chuck three thousand. We'll be back.
Is the Jesse Kelly Show. Ona Monday. Tell talking about poker
(19:30):
reminded me of that sweet movie Rounders, Chris, did you ever see Rounders?
You never saw Rounders? I betMichael saw Rounders. Michael, did
you see Rounders? You freaking children. Rounders is a sick It's like a
poker movie. Who does these undergroundpoker clubs? You've got to watch Rounders.
It's a total dude movie. Anyway, he was talking about Tells.
In one of the scenes in themovies, he's playing poker against this really
(19:53):
bad guy that's rushing gangster dude andhe finally figures out the dudes. Tell
the dudes messing with a whatever.It's a great movie, Chris. We're
not talking about movies right now.We have to focus on America. So
that was the Supreme Court decision today. And you know, Sonya Sotobayoor,
the really really really hardcore communists onthe Supreme Court, she of course wrote
(20:17):
a descent, and then she capsher descent with this little gem with fear
for our democracy. I descent.I just want to again. I know
you get bored with me saying it, even though you've never said that.
You probably don't, but I wantto remind everybody we are not a democracy.
(20:41):
Democracies are evil, horrible things.The Founders warned explicitly against democracy.
We are not a democracy. Democracyis where majority rules, the mob rules.
The mob can take away your rightsat any time. And it's not
(21:02):
an accident. The American communist hastried to bring that word into the mainstream.
Our democracy, democracy, our democracy. He threatens democracy democracy. They're
doing that on purpose. They chosethat word on purpose because that's exactly what
they want us to be. Theywant to import tens of millions of barbarians
(21:25):
from all over the world and thenturn this country into a democracy where those
barbarians can decide on whether or notyou're allowed to keep your ar fifteen.
We are not a democracy under anysense of the word. And oh,
thank you for this little Jim Michael. Michael printed me this one out.
You remember what Vladimir Lenin said aboutdemocracy. You probably don't, because I
(21:45):
didn't either. Michael printed it forme. Quote. In a capitalist society,
we have a democracy that is curttailed, wretched, false, a democracy
only for the rich, for theminority, the dictatorship of the prolo Harriet.
The period of transition to communism willfor the first time create democracy for
(22:06):
the people for the majority, alongwith the necessary suppression of the exploiters of
the minority. Communism alone is capableof providing real, complete democracy, and
the more complete it is, thesooner it will become unnecessary and wither away
of its own accord. The communists, they love that word. Remind your
(22:30):
child when he comes home from socialstudies. Mammy, our teacher told us
about our democracy today. Remind yourchild and shoot an email to that teacher.
We are not a democracy. Nowit's time to talk about what happened
over the weekend with the Bidens,the Biden family and everything else. But
(22:52):
speaking of communists, I do wantto point this out, Dome. Vice
President Dome. You've seen her alot more over the last seventy two hours
or so than you did before.Why is that everyone's starting to flirt with
the idea that this woman might actuallybecome president of the United States of America.
Joe Biden might not make it toNovember. She might If he does
(23:17):
make it to November. In Wins, we all know he ain't making it
another four years, and if hedrops out, they might have to hand
the nomination to her. And youknow this. You know, for the
longest time on this show, wehave mocked her for repeating this same line.
(23:37):
This is a line she has usedfor ages, and you know how
long I've made fun of her forthis, And the line goes like this,
we see what can be unburdened bywhat has been? And credit to
them, URNC Research did a mashup. I'm not going to play it for
you, it's all four minutes.I'll just play you a little bit of
it. They did a mashup ofall the times she's used this line.
(24:03):
So here is a little sample.I can imagine what can be and be
unburdened by what has been? Youknow, what can be unburdened by what
has been? What can be unburdenedby what has been? What can be
unburdened by what has been? Whatcan be unburdened by what has been?
(24:25):
What we can see, what webelieve can be unburdened by what has been?
Well, okay, I'm gonna sayit goes on for four minutes.
This is her favorite line, beenusing it for years. I'm sure some
college student wrote it for, somespeech writer wrote it for, and she
fell in love with it and justwrapped her arms around it like it was
Willie Brown. And she has carriedit with her everywhere she's gone. But
(24:52):
why why that line It's not thatI have a problem with politicians using the
same line over and over again.They're famous for this. Oh pause,
little side note here. Don't worry. I'm not gonna lose track. My
focus is just stay focused. Youpeople running for office, I've been encouraging
you to run for office, localoffice, county supervisor, school board,
(25:17):
city council, share of you,name it. We need to begin becoming
activists running for local office. AndI get emails all the time. I'm
nervous, Jesse. I don't speakin front of people. I don't know
what I'm doing. Here's a littletidbit from me to you about running for
office. No matter what office you'rerunning for, you will have to give
speeches. There's no question about that. You're gonna have to stand up in
(25:37):
a room and you're gonna have tospeak in front of people. So here
it is. You come up witha speech. You should probably have a
two minute version and a five minuteversion. You come up with a speech,
practice it at home, practice itin front of your spouse, your
kids, whatever. You come upwith the speech you want to give,
and then you go give that speech, and you will suck the first time.
(26:00):
You'll be nervous, so you'll bestiff and it'll suck. Don't change
it. Don't change a thing everywhereyou go, and you'll feel awkward.
You give the same speech, youwill feel awkward because you already heard it.
Oh, surely they already heard it. I don't want to repeat myself.
Don't you dare change? You givethe same speech everywhere you go,
(26:22):
and what you will find over timeis the familiarity you have with the speech
breeds your comfort was speaking in frontof people. Yeah, you're nervous to
speak in front of people. It'sa two minute speech. You've given it
one hundred times. You can doit, and you're sleep and then you'll
get looser and the speech will youwhat. You'll make little adjustments and it'll
get better. Okay. So anyway, setting that aside, politicians use the
(26:45):
same lines over and over again.I know that you know that everyone knows
that. But why does she fallin love with that line? Well,
it goes back to what we've talkedabout many times before. How in the
world can you so l in evil, demonic religion of destruction to normal people
who were never going to sign onto something that's an evil demonic religion of
(27:08):
destruction. That's not exactly a greatseller, is it. Hey, come
on around, I'll teach you howto be an evil demon that destroys everything.
Probably not gonna lead with that.How do you sell it? You
massage, you work with your language. Pole Pot. When he was taking
over Cambodia, getting ready to murdera quarter of his country, Polepot he
(27:33):
famously declared, year zero. Nothingthat came before this matters. It's years
zero, guys. Almost sounds good. Right, Hey, we're gonna clean
slate. Let's wipe out the pastnow in practice? What did Polepop mean
by that? Well, we're gonnamurder everybody. We're gonna destroy all of
(27:56):
our industry and murder everyone we possiblycan. That's what he meant. But
you don't want to lead with that. Say you lead with year zero,
clean slate? Why why love thisso much? I can imagine what can
be and be unburdened by what hasbeen. You know what can be unburdened
by what has been? Well,unburdened by what has been means everything you
(28:21):
know, your values, your country, your economy, your rights, your
everything, it's all a burden.Let's shake those shackles off, shall we?
And then once we get unburdened bythis society you've built, Once I
unburden you from things like food,then of course you can see what can
be. Don't be nervous about allthe things I want to destroy. Just
(28:47):
focus on the glorious future. Ipromise you see what can be unburdened by
what has been. It's just anotherway to say year zero. That's a
fact. Now let's talk about theBiden drama that happened over the weekend.
Before we talk about that, let'stalk about, well, something very very
real. I I wake up alot of days in America and I look
(29:11):
around and I feel so blessed.And this is no this day is no
different. And the more stories youread about the despicable things happening to people
over there in Israel, the moreit makes you feel really, really blessed
to live in a place that isn'tbeing raided and rocketed every single day.
(29:32):
It's awful. And the International Federationof Christians and Jews the IFCJ, what
they're doing is they've come up witha pledge. That's always it's a pledge.
All you do is go sign itat SUPPORTIFCJ dot org. Now,
why would that matter? Who cares? Right? So signing a pledge,
(29:52):
No, it does matter. Whenthat pledge is finished, they want five
thousand signatures, gonna go over thereand they're gonna present it to them and
say, hey, just to letyou know you're not alone. We are
praying for you, we are standingwith you. Isn't that freaking wonderful support?
IFCJ dot org, We'll be backthe Jesse It is the Jesse Kelly
(30:18):
Show, only ten minutes away fromMetal of Honor Monday, and I know
I have to get to all thisBiden drama from over the weekend. The
Biden family met and there's all kindsof dissension and the ranks. Don't forget
email the show whatever you want Jesseat Jesse kellyshow dot com. So I
do have to speaking of dissension beforewe get to the Biden family and the
(30:40):
problems they're having there. I haveto be very honest with you about the
Kelly family and the problems we arehaving. Things are a little rough at
home right now, and here's what'sgoing on. You see, I I
love to eat eat deep fried foods. If you can deep fry it.
(31:04):
I want to try it. Allright, that rhymed. I didn't mean
for that to rhyme. Now thatit did, I've decided I like that
line and I'm gonna keep it.So that's my line, patent pending.
If you can deep fry it,I want to try it. I have
had deep fried butter. I've haddeep fried pizza that wasn't as good as
you think. I should note oneof the greatest deep fried things I've ever
(31:26):
eaten in my life was at theTexas State Fair. I had a deep
fried grilled cheese sandwich. It wasmagnificent. Magnificent. Okay. I like
to eat fried foods, and thatbrings me to the old ball and chain.
(31:47):
My wife, Aubrey, she's abit more healthy. You would say,
it's just one of those people AppleWatch people. She's one of those
people just kills herself for an houra day day in the gym. She
was a gymnast, right, she'san elite athlete. Ah, that's nan
healthy and then it's not organic,man and man and man. So she
has resisted for the longest time purchasingany kind of a deep fryer for the
(32:14):
house. She air fries as thingsall the time. And I will admit
her air fried chicken is the greatestchicken I've ever eaten. Airflyers are legit.
But every now and then I wantsome grease. I want grease in
my life. And my son andI my youngest son, Luke, he's
a French fry freak. And youmay think you like French fries. I
(32:37):
like French fries. I've never seenanything like this in my entire life.
He will order a burger and friesand he'll throw all the fries on the
burger. It's just he's a frynut. We have decided we are putting
our foot down and we're gonna deepfry some fries at the house, and
(32:58):
we're gonna try shrimp too. SoI, without any consulting of her whatsoever,
I decided I've had enough and Iwent and bought a little tub of
beef tallow. I like things thatare fried in tallow better. That just
taste better and it's healthier. Chrisand I got one of those little mini
deep fryers for like thirty four dollars. Like I didn't spend a bunch of
(33:20):
money. I was looking for somethingon sale. I didn't want to break
the bank on something like this.So it was thirty four to thirty five
dollars and tonight we're going to deepfry some French fries. The wife asked
why potatoes were on the grocery list. She went grocery shopping today and I
finally, look, I came cleanand I let her know what it was.
(33:45):
Then I let her know there wasgoing to be some deep frying in
the house. And she wasn't thatreceptive of it. She wasn't that great
about it. The deep frying isstill gonna happen. And how are things
by tomorrow morning? I don't know, but I know this. I'm eating
fries, and yes, fries fromscratch, Chris. How hard can they
be? No, it's not alot of work, Chris. It's no.
(34:07):
You don't have to cook them threetimes. Look, it's not a
lot of work when you have sons. Okay, when I get home,
I'm gonna hand my sons to potatoes, and I'm gonna hand them the potato
peeler and I'm gonna say, haveat it, boys, And what Chris?
What? Yes? You peel thefries? Chris? You don't eat
the skin on the fries like somesort of barbarian nobody likes. I know
(34:29):
they're Wendy's fries. That's disgusting.That's one. Two. You don't need
the skin on the fry. Thefry needs to be thin. The fry
needs to be skinless. The fryneeds to be crispy. That's what the
fry needs to be. Everything aroundthe house. You just had your first
kid, so you don't realize thisshit. Everything around the house gets easier
(34:51):
when you have these slaves called children. I'm not gonna put in any real
effort tonight. I'll act like I'min all the effort. I'll stand by
the deep fryer. I'll make sureit's a temperature. When they hand me
fries, I'll drop them in.They're gonna have to do all the peeling,
and you know, they'll slice theirfingers when they're peeling, and I
(35:13):
will laugh, hahaha. You shouldhave been more careful. And then they're
gonna have to cut the potatoes.Now that might be a little more dangerous,
so there could be an er visit. I don't know, they're gonna
peel the potatoes, cut the potatoes, and then I think I read somewhere
that they should soak the fries inwater for a couple of minutes. For
some reason, I don't know.This sounds stupid, and then I'll handle
the deep fry Look all this isgoing to be delicious, and we're gonna
(35:36):
try shrimp too. I'm sure I'llmassacre that. Hey, Chris, you
want any shrimp? I'm kidding,what Chris? What? See that's the
problem. See Chris said, havethem handle the deep fryer. You don't
let boys get into too much danger. You can present them with the potato
peeler and you know at some pointin time they'll be sore fighting with it
(36:00):
or something, and one of themis gonna skin a finger. Not the
end of the world. If youallow them to mess with like a deep
fryer with hot oil, someone's goingto the er with third degree burns.
You have to understand, here's atrue statement. I didn't come up with
this, but it's true. Youtake a group of boys, however big
(36:20):
the group is. You take thelowest IQ in the group, whoever has
the lowest IQ in the group,and then whatever that number is, you
divide it by the number of boysin the group. So if the guy
with the lowest IQ has an eightyand there are four boys, you divide
that and what you have left istwenty. What is that number? Twenty?
(36:44):
That is the collective IQ of agroup of young boys. I will
let my sons peel their fingers upwith a potato peeler. I can't let
them around the hot oil. Plus, that's the easiest jomp. That's the
job I take for me as thefather. I then supervise anyway. The
wife's not happy about it, butit's happening anyway. And now now she'll
just be worried about the mess.She'll show end up taking over and doing
(37:07):
the whole thing. This is marriage. One oh one, Fellas learn from
me. This has been a podcastfrom wor
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