December 5, 2022 • 38 mins
One of Hollywood’s most famous witches, Aunt Hilda (Sabrina the Teenage Witch), Caroline Rhea is in the coven today. While she may be known for playing a witch on TV her passion for mysticism, astrology, and tales of growing up with a clairvoyant mother help us get to know one of the funniest women in Hollywood better.
The ladies dissect adolescence, stigmas, menopause, and how so many women of this generation learned about their bodies from Judy Blume books.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Which is anonymous with the Laria Baldwin and Michelle Campbell
Mason and I heart radio podcast. Hey, which is I'm
me Laria Baldwin and I'm Michelle Campbell Mason, And today
we have on one of my favorite people in the
whole wide world. She will make you laugh, she will
make you cry, she will make you smile. I'm Caroline, right.
(00:23):
You probably know me as aunt Hilda, Hilda Spellman. That's
how I know myself. I'm a comedian, I'm on tour
and Ava's mother on Phineas and Herbs Mother, I had
a day with the vampire. Um, these are always that
you can know me, and I'm still as mother. She's
my dough. Welcome then, I I feel very grateful. I'm
part of the witch family of the generation. But for
(00:46):
all the parts I've ever played, um, this is the
one that's stuck. Like I think, I'm called aunt Hilda
every day of my life. Regardless of the city or
country that I'm in. People they just try and gondo
like hi and hill up. The best was when the
show was on and it was really big, and um,
I was on, Uh what the street is it's in
(01:07):
Chelsea anyway, I think it was the number nineteen bus
and the bus driver pulled up and I was just
outside and he said that won't held up, and I
was like, wow, that's very it's very random that a
bus driver in London could do that. So we were
talking about how you are a comedian. That's nice and
(01:29):
you know, a lot of a lot of times when
we go to comedy, you know, the the easy joke
is to go blow and go mean, right, how are
you funny? And you're so nice? Well, I made a
rule a long time ago, don't make fun of anyone
who's not in the road to defend themselves, unless it's
a public figure that I have a strong opinion about.
(01:51):
But generally, I really think that I like to find
what we have in common and then we are then
collectively laughing at something together, as opposed to anybody being
laughed at. Because there's something that uh I learned and
one of my many spiritual teachers, and it's a big
(02:12):
no note to ever bring um make someone's face rend.
It's a big spiritual no note to bring a blush
of shame to anybody's face. So if I ever feel
like I've crossed a line, which I really try never
to do because they're my guests. Like I think it's
a dinner party and you're my guests. I'm not gonna
hurt your feelings. I mean, I'll tease you and make
(02:33):
fun of you, but in no way am I doing
it without your consent, you know what I mean. Like
if it's a little like twenty three year old college
boy last night, I was making fun of him, but
he was loving it, but I wasn't. I don't like
the in spirited comedy, and I think very few people
have mastered it. And I think that you always have
(02:54):
to be funnier than you are, mean, funnier than you are,
a political funnier. That's gotta be the funniest thing, right,
So if you're gonna be a comedian who thinks it's
funny to be me and you're meaner than you are funny,
I just think that's like I don't find that funny
at all, And it makes me uncomfortable, and it makes
the audience uncomfortable, and I'm wondering why you're doing it,
(03:16):
But that that's that's me. I don't like it. I
think it's a very joy based activity. Like I think
it's a gift to be able to make somebody laugh,
take them out of whatever situation they're in mentally like
light in the situation. You know, it's a gift. I
don't want to be. I don't want anybody ever leaving
my show crying. That would be terrible, you know. But
the shame thing you really have to think about it.
(03:38):
Don't ever bring color to someone's face that embarrassing stuff.
Laugh Laughter being the ultimate release there. I mean, we
all need it to let go. And I think one
of the amazing things about your style of comedy that
you're You're very self deprecating, obviously, and I think that
that takes immense strength. And it sounds like you have
a spiritual practice in which you integrate self love and
(03:59):
self worth, so you can be self deprecating without, you know,
kind of being mean to yourself. Do you sometimes find
yourself kind of teetering thels? I really think, Okay, don't
do that joke, because it's really like self deprecating to me.
Self deprecating to me is much more female than male.
I think it's how we neutralize each other, you know
(04:19):
what I mean, not not neutralized, it's just like it's
like a comfort like we share in the fact, like
I've just started talking about menopause on stage, Like basically
menopause is that you guys are way too young. But
basically you wake up one day and then you really
never go back to sleep. You don't know that that
was your last night's sleep, but you're awake for most
(04:39):
of the night for the rest of your you know,
I know, I know, but I could think if you
are now Sometimes I think, Okay, don't say that. That's
that's too self deprecating, like it's so my style. But
then I'm like again, sometimes it's like a way in too,
like I want everybody to be comfortable at my show,
(05:01):
you know, disarm it disarms people, and it's related. I mean,
it's just also just you know how my friends and
I we are always like the best story I've heard
lately is hooked up with this guy in college when
she was like twenty one, and she ended up getting drunk.
They hooked up and then she got drunk and she
threw up, and she remembered how sweet he was because
(05:23):
he held her hair when she vomited. Oh my god,
so prick to literally thirty years later, she hooks up
with him again she has too much tequila because it's
fat free. She ends up hooking up and vomiting, and
she said, and he was so sweet because this time
he held my boobs out of my face. So like, yeah,
(05:43):
it self devergating, but it like shows the evolution, you know, right,
ag is it's got to be something that you acknowledge
and that it's funny otherwise depressing. Well, you know what's
so funny that you said this really is that you
are a witch? Is that one of the things that
we wanted to talk with you about was meta pause
And I actually just scratched that off, but I'm gonna
bring it back in because I know. And then this
(06:06):
is like a serious female topic. Most women, most girls
before they get their period, still don't know what it's
really going to be like. And it's there's a shame
about talking about it. You know, Like when I got
my period, I had like no idea what was going on,
and I was so ashamed that I didn't tell my
mother for like five months. I was like I hit it.
(06:27):
And then you know, then we go through the years
that we know you're supposed to grow up, fall in love,
get married, and have children. You know, and then what
happens after that. Nobody really talks about the next part
of this transition. So there's just as much as we
didn't talk about the moment where we get our period,
we don't talk about when that starts to change. And
(06:48):
for me, I have im you know, I have seven kids.
I don't know like the first thing about menopause, and
that is really bad. Yeah, well, it's just a weird time.
It's it's very strange. I gotta say. It's like you
drive around your whole life by your hormones there at
the wheel, right, and they're like, find a mate, have
a baby, be attracted to them, whatever, and then hormones
(07:09):
are in the backseat. And it's really weird for me
because being in menopause and my daughter just starting, so
we are literally like like at the opposite ends of
the race. Um. And I said to her because one
day she was in a really crabby mood and she
goes money sometimes I feel like I literally hate everybody,
And I said, honey, you might be getting your period,
(07:30):
because like that could just be like, um, PMS, And
she's like, what's PMS. I'm like, it's pre menstrual syndrome.
And I go, it's when your hormones are just like
they're like hijacking you and your mood and they're driving
for sure. And um, and I said, there was even
a case where a woman killed someone, but she wasn't
(07:51):
sent to prison because she had PMS. That was her
actual defense because it's so real. And she goes, she
goes because oh my god, what if I kill you tonight.
I'm like, this was he just doesn't. He's went the
wrong direction, you know what. She got a period the
next day. Um, so yeah, you kind of talking about
(08:12):
my father was an ob gianan. We were like you knew, well, no,
also also wasn't. It was never perceived as empowering. It
was perceived and then you realize, man can't have babies.
We can have babies. That's our superpower above and beyond
that no one will ever understand except you more than others. Um,
(08:34):
you got the supersion powers. I've tested out once or twice.
But the yeah, the fertility thing hasn't been celebrated really
as a power since the opagan era. So it's an
interesting conversation because it is so profound and so beautiful,
yet we barely teach young girls how their bodies work.
It's funny that you didn't learn about it. And we're
(08:56):
the same age in school, and I read all those
duty Bloom books, so I knew like way too much
about my period that I was like ready for it
for so many years and it never came. And I
was like, but I've got all these boxes on my bed.
She taught us everything I think that there was just
for us. There was like a lot of shame of
surrounding it. And that was a gymnast. So it was
(09:16):
like the idea of like starting your if your body changes,
you're not going to be as valuable in in the sport.
And that's I know, right, It's it's a really it's
a I mean, as we all saw, it's a it's
a pretty you know it can be I should say,
a very abusive sport. Um. So it's I thought I
got really big boobs right after puberty, and I was like,
(09:40):
I still have to not shoulder myself because I was
so like, you know, you were you felt self conscious?
Oh yeah, completely. I was always like this. So now
I'm like, and you know, Eva, it's just shrive six
ft tall. Yeah I know. And I'm like and she
you know she's not crazy about it yet because she
(10:02):
hasn't you know, you're growing into yourself so much. And
the thing I was realizing, like, part of the reason
I think we have mean girls is, you know, your
pheromones get together and you start We used to call
it because I went to old girls school. We still
ut menstrual central because your pheromones talked to each other
and then you all end up getting your period at
the exact same time. And imagine being in a school
(10:27):
right full of thirteen and fourteen year olds and they're
all having like the hormone attacks, you know. But so
do you think like being in at all girls school
that and having that experience, do you think I mean,
we have a lot to say about all all girls
schools on this show, but do you think maybe like
that made it extra toxic not having that buffer, or
it was like a safer space because you were all
(10:49):
going through the same thing. Ava. When I suggested that
she'd got on all girls school, she was literally like,
are you insane? Absolutely not. Never, she would never. She's
been in co ed schools since, you know, preschool. She's
got so many great friends that are boys. She couldn't
imagine it. But I grew up in the seventies where
I went to a tiny all girls school and I
(11:10):
love that education because we were taught that, you know,
it was very important everything we had to say. We
wore uniforms. It was like the great neutralizer. Nobody was
comparing outfits, and it was your brain first, first and
foremost to have a good academic education and to be
very confident in how you express yourself and what you thought.
(11:33):
So I think they're great. And I also think the
thing about girls, if I could change this, like it's
a fine line, and I'm sure you have this feelings
about this, but like, manners are the most important thing
to me to be able to speak to people politely
and kindly. Number one, I'm always telling able, like if
somebody's bothering her a school, and like, even if you
(11:54):
don't like them, just remain neutral. Unkindness was not tolerated
in my school with I don't I don't think I
think you could have easily gotten kicked out if you
had been mean. But as much as they want my
daughter perfect manners, we were brought up to always put
everybody ahead of ourselves, and that one I am not
making my daughter learned that one I think women sometimes
(12:17):
get sucked into. You have to be very polite and
very kind, and you have the sort of gentle feminine quality,
but like, take care of yourself first and foremost. When
I've ever been on any shows, I remember when I
was on The Biggest Loser and I said, one, are
all of these contestants who have struggled with their weight,
what do they all have in common? And they said,
(12:38):
none of them have themselves in the priority on their
list of things to do or take care of. So
that's the first thing you have to learn as a woman.
And then all the kindness and politeness that you want
to display through the world is great. But that's the
one thing that I learned in all girls school and
from my mother that I am updating in parents to
a one with my not too point out with my
(12:59):
how do you say that we can relearn them or
learn it for the first time, Not well, we're children.
Well I think you'll know that you're doing it because
it'll feel incredibly uncomfortable and you'll be horribly guilty, and
then you'll go, oh, okay, So those are these weird
conditioned responses we have, so that we don't do the work,
which is like there's a weird thing in life. It's
(13:19):
like here we are, here's what we want, we can
see it, and then there's the invisible wall of stuff
we have to deal with in order to get it right.
So sounds kind of similar to you how even just
you know, punching your shoulders right and covering yourself, making
yourself smaller to fit in into that box of being. Yeah,
there's no ever. My mother was always like, I mean
(13:41):
that was that was just that was conscious of myos.
My mother was like, never make your life smaller, never ever,
you know. I think it's also there's like conformity is
the devil and we are conditioned. There's like you check
in with Instagram and so you check in with all
the conforming websites to make sure that you're in this
little box and you have to be part of it,
(14:03):
but you also can't get sucked into it. And I
think that's what's so hard about freezing girls is that
that little box of conformity is their comfort zone. We
don't need to talk about Hilda forever, and I know
(14:23):
that she she is someone that's brought up to you
all day, every day, in your life. But um, I
did want to see if when you became a part
of Sabrina the teenage, which did you get really into
which culture did you like dive into it and research
it and just embrace it, or was it did it
become you know of it too much? Because obviously it
(14:44):
was that not as like part of the zeitgeist as
I think it is today with like witch talk and
so many people really talking about the history of which
is and just modern witch witchery online. I was always
into anything um mystical. I grew up in a house
that was haunted, and it was nothing to be scared of.
(15:04):
It was just spirits that we sort of acknowledge. My
mom was insanely clairvoyant, like to the point that she
would respond to something that I was thinking in my head.
She's like the tiptok algorithm. You just have to think
about it and it shows up. That was my mom. Um.
So we were just raised to um trust our intuition
(15:27):
always and instinctual and all the spidy senses and those
were and and look for coincidences and have meaning that
is perceived much more than what we're necessarily seeing in
this world. You know, like there are always messages from somewhere,
like here's an example when my mom passed away. Well,
(15:49):
when I was in college and I had to take
a class on theater craft, which we had to learn
how to make props just in case we're going to
make it as an actress. Well, thank god idea, because
I was never gonna make it as a up master
because I the assignment was you had to build a clock,
and we had the whole semester to build it. And
I took like an old bree pin wheel and like
(16:10):
painted tim to two. Because all the commercials when I
was a kid for Time X, the watchers were timed
to two. So my mother, I think I got like
whatever one percent more than And my mother thought this
epic fail was the most hilarious thing in the entire world.
Did you go, darling, tell me that I'm about when
you build the Everyone else in my class had working clocks.
(16:36):
All of them worked, it's easily been props, and mine
was just like it looked like a sitarator had painted anyway,
she thought that was hilarious. So I would have worked
for a more abstract play. So yeah, exactly. So a
couple of years after my mom had died and I
spent like two years crying and I was like extremely
(16:57):
close to my mother. It devastated me so about my daughter.
And I went to parent Key, which is Bury, not us.
We were like anyway, And while we were there, I
went swimming and I had warned my mother's watch every
day since she died. I never took it off. I
took it off to go swimming and I lost it
and I was so upset about it. I was, yeah,
(17:20):
I was so upset. So a year later, I don't
know if you've had people that have passed on in
your life and that they've come to you, and I
think they come to you in different senses. So from
my mom, my mom always smelled incredibly beautiful. She like
I love perfume, and she also wore beautiful Gucci and
Pucci scarves. She always, you know, she was very telling it.
(17:44):
So I found the scarf of hers and it still
smelled like my mom. This is like three years after,
and I was like crying but no tears, but like
just feeling her hugging me. And I was so happy
that you know, it doesn't happen all the time, just
every now and then. So that day my my daughter
called me and said, Mummy, I had a Nana dream
(18:05):
and she came to me and I go, oh, she
goes no, she was talking to me, mummy, and she
was hugging me. And then I woke up and I
had this great dream and I looked in the suitcase
and Mummy, I found the watch. I found me watch, yeah,
which I could show you if I had a moment anyway,
she brought me the watch. It's the battery died exactly.
(18:28):
I'm tended to no. Oh my god, it's going through
your face where I was like, you know what, I
was home with Ava. I felt like I was in
a MoMA, which is like a mom comma, Like you're
just being a mom. Like that's what you're in. You
just wake up, You're in your mama. And I thought,
you know what, I'm gonna pursue being an auctioneer. That's
what I also do, and I'm not going to do
(18:48):
a comedy anymore. And this was my mother's message, like, oh,
yes you are. Look how funny this is. Like that's anyway,
how do you teach your daughter to trust her intuition?
And look where these kinds of signs always, I mean
My aim was so intuitive. I remember her asking. She's like, Mommy,
did Papa live somewhere very hot? And I was like, yeah,
(19:12):
he lived in Arizona. Just sometimes he's so tanned and
other times, like when he helps me in the ocean
if I'm scared swimming, he's all white. And she never
met him. My dad died. My dad died in the
next week, kept up pregnant. Wow. Yeah. In terms of
we're also Scottish, we come from the Kailiacs, which were
(19:34):
the very old Scottish witches. So I don't think which
is in the It's certainly never been a bad word
to me, you know what I mean. And I must
say it's a weird because I was in Salem once
and I was I was like the Grand Marshal for
um the gay Pride grade, and Salem has a creepy
vide to me that that town. I was like, I
(19:56):
was like, how insensitive that you've asked a witch to
come back here? But and it had a weird vibe.
How did you guys. I'm related to one of the
oldest which is killed in Salem. She was killed in
September of She's my grandmother, my great grandmother nine generations
back on my father's side, and it was, um, it
(20:17):
was a discovery through you know, DNA testing, and my
family is actually really on it with intuition and being
very spiritual open to all of this. But this was
just something up the tree that had kind of fallen
out of the fallen to the wayside of the conversation,
and it was all I do is work in women's stories.
So when learning this, everything made sense, like this preternatural
(20:40):
need to understand women's history, connect with women, find ways
to help them find their voice. And so then we
met and you know, the combination of being called a
witch and we both take it as a positive thing,
but many people don't perceive it as such, combined with
so much of Hillarias life experiences and you know, kind
(21:02):
of my life mission made this show just a really
natural next step for us. And so we are, which
is but not very anonymous, because it is us. So
we are. I mean, the idea is that being a
witch is a good thing. You know, it's our our
our power and being a woman, there's so much power
(21:22):
in it. But then people love to poke at us
and people love to tear us down, you know, we're
still doing the same kinds of things over and over
again and tearing people down, both publicly and privately. And
you know, I mean, how can we start to have
these conversations about women in our relationships with each other,
Because if we're not on the same team and we're
(21:44):
not supporting each other, they all this conversation about the patriarchy,
We're never going to get anywhere. But we're you know,
we're of the population. If we got on the same team,
we got this. We're the bigger group. And so it's
all about, you know, embracing each other and bracing our power,
not getting intimidated from by each other, not tearing each other,
not judging each other as much, and you know, getting
(22:06):
to a place where we can collaborate. We don't have
to all be best friends, we don't even have to
all like each other, but we have to let live.
Any time that I in my deeper case, it's like
any time I walk away from God, I'm like, well,
this is a very boring, one percent kind of dull
human existence. And I'm just you can get into a
very reactive, robotic state in life, right, And I think
(22:27):
that that meanness that you were talking about Hilaria is
it's I think there's a lot of women who like
One of the reasons I'm still doing stand up in
my fifties, which I really never thought I would continue
to do, but my mother didn't have a voice at
this age, so I'm not going to give away mine,
Like there's no way there's women. My agent needs to
(22:50):
hear what we're experiencing. So one about the meanness, I
don't think it's a question of like what can we
do other than live by example and teach our children.
That's it. That's you have your sphere of influence, and
now it's gonna increase because you have a podcast. And
(23:12):
I think just generating goodness, which you naturally do, and
be ignoring and being nonreactive to the garbage, Like I mean,
can't people say stupid things and if you engage with them,
you empower them or on a few times, I remember
(23:34):
walking out of an airport when I was on Sabrina
and I literally had like the pillow mark in my face.
I used to commute, so I take the Red Eye
and I worked all day and I got in the plane.
I took the Red Eye and I was so tired,
and I walked out of the airport and this guy goes, wow,
you look a lot better on TV than you do
in person. And I walked over to him and I said,
(23:56):
have you been on television for the last seven years?
Getting up at five and the warning and working and
then running home because you want to be with your
family because they live on a different coast than you do.
But you know that you have to work, but you
have to be away from the people that you love,
and then you think that it's okay to say that
to me. And he was so apologetic, but good, are
you right? I think in most times they're only empowered
(24:21):
until you go boom, right. I mean, well, the online
thing has taken that to the to the next level,
because you know, it's it's one thing, it's one thing
to be able to say that in person. And I've definitely,
I've definitely done that where you know, I've had people
from you know, publications that I will not name because
they are the places that we shall not name. And
(24:42):
I literally went up to them sometimes when they're chasing
me around, following me, and I said, do you know
how much you have affected my mental health? I have
gone through felt where I wanted to kill myself because
of how much you harass me, because you won't stop,
and your voice has power you in site craziness of
people getting obsessed and believing the crap that you put.
(25:05):
I said, so please leave me alone, and that made
me feel empowered. Did it work? New? Um? But I
said it and that felt helpful. But the problem is that,
you know, the online stuff is it's it just brings
it to a whole another realm because people create fake
accounts and there it's just they have all these different
technologies that somehow you know, talk about powers that they
(25:27):
can be one account and make many many, many, you know,
comments or whatever. I don't know. I'm not very good
with technology, and I worry about our kids. I wondry
about our daughters. You know, are my sons that are
that are growing up with this and it's very toxic. Okay,
I have to tell you this as I love you
and I feel maternal towards you. So the reason why
(25:47):
you have such like look at your platform. You have
an enormous ability to affect change, and you want to
do it from such a good place, right, So the
enormity of that vessel or channel or whatever you want
to call yourself is gonna come with the enormity of
like people trying to stop you. Because there's a weird
(26:08):
thing in human nature is that people tear down goodness
or change. So it's just like, if there's any way
just affirm in your head, I am really on a
path that nobody's been on and I am doing good
because it's bothering so many people. I've gotten this many
people out of their comfort zone that they are rattled
(26:30):
within themselves, that they're not gonna worry about themselves, they're
gonna worry about me. And it's so like you should
be empowered by it. You should just literally learn to
be like delete. They don't get your attention, And I
think it comes from I'm not getting a Capricorn thing
because Capricorns are so committed to doing the right thing
(26:52):
and that's all you ever do. So you're just like,
how can you have perceived me to not have done
the right thing? One You've got to just go you're human,
whatever it is. You feel like like there's something in
you that's saying maybe they're right, because otherwise you'd be
like everybody, you know what I mean? And I think
(27:15):
that what we're talking about, is that woman nous where
we go, well, this must be my fault because that's
our that's how we're raised right, right, And it goes
back to being Yeah, it goes back to being that
the woman is the okay scapegoat for all the stuff
that's going on. Let's go and poke fun at her,
Let's go be mean to her. This is it gives them,
(27:37):
you know, people a dopamine high. Um. And you know,
I mean for everybody listening this podcast. As much as
we talk about the problems that women you know, have
with each other, we also talk about the amazing women
that have supported and and stood with us. And you know,
I'm lucky today to be with both you know, Caroline
and Michelle, who have helped me so much over there
(27:59):
is I mean, Carolyn, how many times to go down
on the phone with me and I'm like crying and
You're like, I tell you this great at this great
advice and I need it and we need to hear
again and again because it's interesting. I'll have these moments
where I believe you and I'm like, yes, empowered, and
then there would be like a moment at night where
I just I started crying and like, I don't think
I can handle people being mean anymore, and I don't
(28:21):
think I can go on, you know, And then you
wake up in the morning you're like, Okay, I can
do this again. But it requires our our sorority, are
our sisterhood, are our our witches are coven to to
keep us all together, to just keep on reminding it
because it goes back to what we're talking about before.
How you know, we didn't learn this growing up. We
learned to be a comedy. We learned to put im
(28:43):
You know, my parents used to say, put yourself in
someone else's shoes, great, but I forgot to learn to
stand in my own shoes. I don't know what they
feel like. And so that's what as an adult, I'm
trying to learn to put myself and shooes. But it
it means that I must listen to my girlfriend to
help me figure out what's my size. You know, don't look,
(29:04):
I mean look externally for support. But now, like all,
you've accomplished more in your life than most humans, and
you manage I mean, you have seven children, you're an
amazing mother, You're an amazing supportive, loving wife. You're out
there you're always saying the right thing, You're always supporting them,
(29:26):
and you're always fighting back for bullies, I mean from
from bullies, like give yourself a break. You're too hard
on yourself. That's what it is. Sorry, And she's an amazing,
amazing thrend to others. I mean, your energy is boundless.
But it's funny. We need to keep hearing it. Like
we know these things, but sometimes, like the way one
more person says, it is what unlocks, like that trap
(29:48):
you're in in your mind. And I think the one
positive thing that kids might have right now is that
mindfulness and you know, practices and consciousness are so much
more a part of the conversation than they were when
we were younger. That like, there are tools out there
where you can really kind of easily learn to retrain
your mind, rewire your neural pathways, be more mindful about
(30:10):
your thoughts so your thoughts are not so debilitating. So
I think that there is there's so much power in
transmitting energy through our community and our coven and our friends.
But I think to having those conversations with our kids
and just keeping you know, keeping that as a part
of this conversation always. It's like we just have to
keep reframing how we think and how we perceive it.
(30:30):
And most like you know in mythology, the media's shield
right where the shield absorbed all negative energy and turned
it into positive energy. That was like unstoppable. And I
think that's kind of how we have to take on
some of this this darkness that you deal with so often.
I also think probably it always feels like criticism, right,
(30:52):
It feels like telling you some you're someone's told you
that you made a mistake, which Capricorns literally hate. They
devote themselves to not making mistakes. This is this, this
is the Capricorn card, your capricorn, please stop referring to
me as your subject um. You're doing it wrong, love Capricorn.
(31:18):
That's why we need to get those for Alec, just
to hold because he's always can you just tell me
something I'm doing right? When it's like coming to the kids,
I'm like, but you haven't done anything right yet, so
I don't I don't understand. We'll tell you you're doing
it right when you do it right, but you're not
doing it right. And I learned the magic too to
making man happy, which I hate to share it like this,
(31:40):
but the magic words for a man. Okay, I hope.
Whatever I'm sharing is if you say to someone, can
you do this for me? Because then they have a
task and they will complete it and they will have
achieved it and they will have pleased you. If you understand,
women step a tone in a relationship. Women set the
(32:02):
tone at business. Women are all powerful. We set the tone.
You look at a relationship, it is the woman who
is deciding whether or not the family is happy. It
is the woman. You can go in a room as
a woman talking about being a witch or not, Like
like I could take you all down with a bad
mood right now. I can absolutely burst every single bubble,
but I'm not going to because I'm setting the tone
(32:24):
right And you forget that. And I think that we
think that men are equals, but uh, you have to
know that. That's why I just stop being reactive to
anybody because even engaging in like, there's so much trolling,
there's so much whatever. Just like let them dissipate. Who cares,
(32:47):
they don't get anymore anymore of your beautiful energy. Zero.
It's about learning and and but that's like the healing process.
You know, the healing comes you have a cut and
then little by little it heals all the way to
the top, and you know, I feel like I feel
like I'm getting there. And then through that, I'm capable
of just really realizing the ridiculous, the ridiculousness. And I
(33:09):
think another thing that for for many of us, we
focused on that one mean comment, and there's like all
like the love and the wonderful and on the support
and everything, and then there's that one thing. And again,
as a Capricorn, that one thing that's just like a
really it's like the peace. It triggered something that we believe.
That's what the one thing is. It's our achilles or
it's our fear, you know, that fear of like, oh god,
(33:31):
well what if they're right? All right, Caroline, I want
to know what's and want to know what you're covering
in your coven, in our coven, in our joint coven,
our big old coven. What are you showing us? Okay?
There was At first of all, I was once hit
(33:54):
on by this gorgeous year old in Scotland and I
was like, was sarahridiculous? It was like ten years ago,
more in twelve years stuff, and um he was Scottish
and he was so handsome. He looked like Jesus. It
was very conflicting, and he said, we love that. Yeah,
he said, I want to come home with you. And
(34:17):
I'm like, are you locked out? And he's like, I've
been with older women. I know what you want. I
want to take there and I go, really, you want
to take me to the clearance isle at Homegood Okay, right,
that is what women want. Well, I'm good is my favorite.
It's because I don't know what it is to go
(34:38):
there for the ugly coffee mugs. It's just so much fun.
So this year during Halloween, okay, wait, there's more which
we got the same cup that's amazing. I bought that
at Homegoods too, Oh my god, Wicked which oh I
(35:02):
love it, but all of them. I just got that
one in potion. Oh well that's which. Please. So, I mean,
for those of you guys who couldn't see Caroline because
it's a podcast, not have which powers, she just showed
us a bunch of mugs that she bought at um
at Home Goods. What I'm coming the nose breed to?
(35:22):
What is just you don't know what the nose frieda
is it's the snot suck is the snot sucker? Don't
remember that? Yeah, I was always bad with that. So
they've actually, you know, one of the benefits of having
a hundred children is that each time they come up
with new things. So this time around, because you need
(35:43):
to get like the sailine to like spread the sailine
up their nose and then you take the tube and
you suck. That's not don't forget the filter. You forget
the filter. You're really sad person, like it's not right
in your mouth. But with this one, now they give you, say,
lean inside the little package container. And my my daughter,
(36:05):
my new daughter, she got sick at like, you know,
five five weeks. She got like a little cold five
six weeks, which was like very scary, but she was
actually really okay. It was just one of those things
that you know, you're hearing all these babies getting hospitalized
with rs BE and it made me very scary. So
I'd be up all night, you know, sucking this not
out of her nose. But you know what kept out
(36:26):
of the hospital. All right, Michelle, what are you coming
in in the coven? What what are you coming in
your um? I well, because I'm so brightly lit today,
you can't tell I do a lot of crazy. Which
skincare today is there's a lot of like because I'm
peeling like kind of like a lizard. It's like we're
all coming out and to combat all like redness and
skin stuff. And this is not like sponsored, this is
(36:48):
something I'm just obsessed with. This is this like tiger
grass stick, a repair by Doctor Jart sun block that
has green in it and you put it on your
face and it looks like you have makeup on because
it's got a little bit of yellow in it, and
it neutralizes all of the red in your skin and
it just makes everything look so nice, no matter like
what weird stuff I've done to my skin. It kind
of covers it up. And um yeah, it makes me
(37:10):
feel like I can go out into the world not
scare people with all my laser treatments. So all right,
Aunt Hilda, Aunt Caroline, best friend, thank you so much
for being on and sharing your wisdom and your fun
and making us laugh a loot. Thank you. Hilaria the
world's most beautiful Capricorn bionic woman mother, that's what it is.
(37:39):
Oh my god, Well that sums it up. Well, I'm
happy for you. I hope this is a big success. No,
thank you so much, Thank you so much for being on.
It was an absolute joy to talk to you. I'm
still laughing. I can't believe we just had Caroline Ray
on the show. I'm so glad that you've had a
chance to meet her because she again I can't say
this too many times, she's one of my favorite people
(38:00):
in the world. And as she said, she's been super
maternal to me. And we started this project about women
connecting and women lifting up women and she is the
biggest support war. So I hope all of you guys
felt that. Alright, Guys, don't forget to review, subscribe, share
with your friends, spread the word. We're having so much
(38:21):
fun doing this and I can't wait to talk to
you guys next week. Bye bye, Thanks guys. H
Which is anonymous with the Laria Baldwin and Michelle Campbell
Mason and I heart radio podcast. Hey, which is I'm
me Laria Baldwin and I'm Michelle Campbell Mason, And today
we have on one of my favorite people in the
whole wide world. She will make you laugh, she will
make you cry, she will make you smile. I'm Caroline, right.
(00:23):
You probably know me as aunt Hilda, Hilda Spellman. That's
how I know myself. I'm a comedian, I'm on tour
and Ava's mother on Phineas and Herbs Mother, I had
a day with the vampire. Um, these are always that
you can know me, and I'm still as mother. She's
my dough. Welcome then, I I feel very grateful. I'm
part of the witch family of the generation. But for
(00:46):
all the parts I've ever played, um, this is the
one that's stuck. Like I think, I'm called aunt Hilda
every day of my life. Regardless of the city or
country that I'm in. People they just try and gondo
like hi and hill up. The best was when the
show was on and it was really big, and um,
I was on, Uh what the street is it's in
(01:07):
Chelsea anyway, I think it was the number nineteen bus
and the bus driver pulled up and I was just
outside and he said that won't held up, and I
was like, wow, that's very it's very random that a
bus driver in London could do that. So we were
talking about how you are a comedian. That's nice and
(01:29):
you know, a lot of a lot of times when
we go to comedy, you know, the the easy joke
is to go blow and go mean, right, how are
you funny? And you're so nice? Well, I made a
rule a long time ago, don't make fun of anyone
who's not in the road to defend themselves, unless it's
a public figure that I have a strong opinion about.
(01:51):
But generally, I really think that I like to find
what we have in common and then we are then
collectively laughing at something together, as opposed to anybody being
laughed at. Because there's something that uh I learned and
one of my many spiritual teachers, and it's a big
(02:12):
no note to ever bring um make someone's face rend.
It's a big spiritual no note to bring a blush
of shame to anybody's face. So if I ever feel
like I've crossed a line, which I really try never
to do because they're my guests. Like I think it's
a dinner party and you're my guests. I'm not gonna
hurt your feelings. I mean, I'll tease you and make
(02:33):
fun of you, but in no way am I doing
it without your consent, you know what I mean. Like
if it's a little like twenty three year old college
boy last night, I was making fun of him, but
he was loving it, but I wasn't. I don't like
the in spirited comedy, and I think very few people
have mastered it. And I think that you always have
(02:54):
to be funnier than you are, mean, funnier than you are,
a political funnier. That's gotta be the funniest thing, right,
So if you're gonna be a comedian who thinks it's
funny to be me and you're meaner than you are funny,
I just think that's like I don't find that funny
at all, And it makes me uncomfortable, and it makes
the audience uncomfortable, and I'm wondering why you're doing it,
(03:16):
But that that's that's me. I don't like it. I
think it's a very joy based activity. Like I think
it's a gift to be able to make somebody laugh,
take them out of whatever situation they're in mentally like
light in the situation. You know, it's a gift. I
don't want to be. I don't want anybody ever leaving
my show crying. That would be terrible, you know. But
the shame thing you really have to think about it.
(03:38):
Don't ever bring color to someone's face that embarrassing stuff.
Laugh Laughter being the ultimate release there. I mean, we
all need it to let go. And I think one
of the amazing things about your style of comedy that
you're You're very self deprecating, obviously, and I think that
that takes immense strength. And it sounds like you have
a spiritual practice in which you integrate self love and
(03:59):
self worth, so you can be self deprecating without, you know,
kind of being mean to yourself. Do you sometimes find
yourself kind of teetering thels? I really think, Okay, don't
do that joke, because it's really like self deprecating to me.
Self deprecating to me is much more female than male.
I think it's how we neutralize each other, you know
(04:19):
what I mean, not not neutralized, it's just like it's
like a comfort like we share in the fact, like
I've just started talking about menopause on stage, Like basically
menopause is that you guys are way too young. But
basically you wake up one day and then you really
never go back to sleep. You don't know that that
was your last night's sleep, but you're awake for most
(04:39):
of the night for the rest of your you know,
I know, I know, but I could think if you
are now Sometimes I think, Okay, don't say that. That's
that's too self deprecating, like it's so my style. But
then I'm like again, sometimes it's like a way in too,
like I want everybody to be comfortable at my show,
(05:01):
you know, disarm it disarms people, and it's related. I mean,
it's just also just you know how my friends and
I we are always like the best story I've heard
lately is hooked up with this guy in college when
she was like twenty one, and she ended up getting drunk.
They hooked up and then she got drunk and she
threw up, and she remembered how sweet he was because
(05:23):
he held her hair when she vomited. Oh my god,
so prick to literally thirty years later, she hooks up
with him again she has too much tequila because it's
fat free. She ends up hooking up and vomiting, and
she said, and he was so sweet because this time
he held my boobs out of my face. So like, yeah,
(05:43):
it self devergating, but it like shows the evolution, you know, right,
ag is it's got to be something that you acknowledge
and that it's funny otherwise depressing. Well, you know what's
so funny that you said this really is that you
are a witch? Is that one of the things that
we wanted to talk with you about was meta pause
And I actually just scratched that off, but I'm gonna
bring it back in because I know. And then this
(06:06):
is like a serious female topic. Most women, most girls
before they get their period, still don't know what it's
really going to be like. And it's there's a shame
about talking about it. You know, Like when I got
my period, I had like no idea what was going on,
and I was so ashamed that I didn't tell my
mother for like five months. I was like I hit it.
(06:27):
And then you know, then we go through the years
that we know you're supposed to grow up, fall in love,
get married, and have children. You know, and then what
happens after that. Nobody really talks about the next part
of this transition. So there's just as much as we
didn't talk about the moment where we get our period,
we don't talk about when that starts to change. And
(06:48):
for me, I have im you know, I have seven kids.
I don't know like the first thing about menopause, and
that is really bad. Yeah, well, it's just a weird time.
It's it's very strange. I gotta say. It's like you
drive around your whole life by your hormones there at
the wheel, right, and they're like, find a mate, have
a baby, be attracted to them, whatever, and then hormones
(07:09):
are in the backseat. And it's really weird for me
because being in menopause and my daughter just starting, so
we are literally like like at the opposite ends of
the race. Um. And I said to her because one
day she was in a really crabby mood and she
goes money sometimes I feel like I literally hate everybody,
And I said, honey, you might be getting your period,
(07:30):
because like that could just be like, um, PMS, And
she's like, what's PMS. I'm like, it's pre menstrual syndrome.
And I go, it's when your hormones are just like
they're like hijacking you and your mood and they're driving
for sure. And um, and I said, there was even
a case where a woman killed someone, but she wasn't
(07:51):
sent to prison because she had PMS. That was her
actual defense because it's so real. And she goes, she
goes because oh my god, what if I kill you tonight.
I'm like, this was he just doesn't. He's went the
wrong direction, you know what. She got a period the
next day. Um, so yeah, you kind of talking about
(08:12):
my father was an ob gianan. We were like you knew, well, no,
also also wasn't. It was never perceived as empowering. It
was perceived and then you realize, man can't have babies.
We can have babies. That's our superpower above and beyond
that no one will ever understand except you more than others. Um,
(08:34):
you got the supersion powers. I've tested out once or twice.
But the yeah, the fertility thing hasn't been celebrated really
as a power since the opagan era. So it's an
interesting conversation because it is so profound and so beautiful,
yet we barely teach young girls how their bodies work.
It's funny that you didn't learn about it. And we're
(08:56):
the same age in school, and I read all those
duty Bloom books, so I knew like way too much
about my period that I was like ready for it
for so many years and it never came. And I
was like, but I've got all these boxes on my bed.
She taught us everything I think that there was just
for us. There was like a lot of shame of
surrounding it. And that was a gymnast. So it was
(09:16):
like the idea of like starting your if your body changes,
you're not going to be as valuable in in the sport.
And that's I know, right, It's it's a really it's
a I mean, as we all saw, it's a it's
a pretty you know it can be I should say,
a very abusive sport. Um. So it's I thought I
got really big boobs right after puberty, and I was like,
(09:40):
I still have to not shoulder myself because I was
so like, you know, you were you felt self conscious?
Oh yeah, completely. I was always like this. So now
I'm like, and you know, Eva, it's just shrive six
ft tall. Yeah I know. And I'm like and she
you know she's not crazy about it yet because she
(10:02):
hasn't you know, you're growing into yourself so much. And
the thing I was realizing, like, part of the reason
I think we have mean girls is, you know, your
pheromones get together and you start We used to call
it because I went to old girls school. We still
ut menstrual central because your pheromones talked to each other
and then you all end up getting your period at
the exact same time. And imagine being in a school
(10:27):
right full of thirteen and fourteen year olds and they're
all having like the hormone attacks, you know. But so
do you think like being in at all girls school
that and having that experience, do you think I mean,
we have a lot to say about all all girls
schools on this show, but do you think maybe like
that made it extra toxic not having that buffer, or
it was like a safer space because you were all
(10:49):
going through the same thing. Ava. When I suggested that
she'd got on all girls school, she was literally like,
are you insane? Absolutely not. Never, she would never. She's
been in co ed schools since, you know, preschool. She's
got so many great friends that are boys. She couldn't
imagine it. But I grew up in the seventies where
I went to a tiny all girls school and I
(11:10):
love that education because we were taught that, you know,
it was very important everything we had to say. We
wore uniforms. It was like the great neutralizer. Nobody was
comparing outfits, and it was your brain first, first and
foremost to have a good academic education and to be
very confident in how you express yourself and what you thought.
(11:33):
So I think they're great. And I also think the
thing about girls, if I could change this, like it's
a fine line, and I'm sure you have this feelings
about this, but like, manners are the most important thing
to me to be able to speak to people politely
and kindly. Number one, I'm always telling able, like if
somebody's bothering her a school, and like, even if you
(11:54):
don't like them, just remain neutral. Unkindness was not tolerated
in my school with I don't I don't think I
think you could have easily gotten kicked out if you
had been mean. But as much as they want my
daughter perfect manners, we were brought up to always put
everybody ahead of ourselves, and that one I am not
making my daughter learned that one I think women sometimes
(12:17):
get sucked into. You have to be very polite and
very kind, and you have the sort of gentle feminine quality,
but like, take care of yourself first and foremost. When
I've ever been on any shows, I remember when I
was on The Biggest Loser and I said, one, are
all of these contestants who have struggled with their weight,
what do they all have in common? And they said,
(12:38):
none of them have themselves in the priority on their
list of things to do or take care of. So
that's the first thing you have to learn as a woman.
And then all the kindness and politeness that you want
to display through the world is great. But that's the
one thing that I learned in all girls school and
from my mother that I am updating in parents to
a one with my not too point out with my
(12:59):
how do you say that we can relearn them or
learn it for the first time, Not well, we're children.
Well I think you'll know that you're doing it because
it'll feel incredibly uncomfortable and you'll be horribly guilty, and
then you'll go, oh, okay, So those are these weird
conditioned responses we have, so that we don't do the work,
which is like there's a weird thing in life. It's
(13:19):
like here we are, here's what we want, we can
see it, and then there's the invisible wall of stuff
we have to deal with in order to get it right.
So sounds kind of similar to you how even just
you know, punching your shoulders right and covering yourself, making
yourself smaller to fit in into that box of being. Yeah,
there's no ever. My mother was always like, I mean
(13:41):
that was that was just that was conscious of myos.
My mother was like, never make your life smaller, never ever,
you know. I think it's also there's like conformity is
the devil and we are conditioned. There's like you check
in with Instagram and so you check in with all
the conforming websites to make sure that you're in this
little box and you have to be part of it,
(14:03):
but you also can't get sucked into it. And I
think that's what's so hard about freezing girls is that
that little box of conformity is their comfort zone. We
don't need to talk about Hilda forever, and I know
(14:23):
that she she is someone that's brought up to you
all day, every day, in your life. But um, I
did want to see if when you became a part
of Sabrina the teenage, which did you get really into
which culture did you like dive into it and research
it and just embrace it, or was it did it
become you know of it too much? Because obviously it
(14:44):
was that not as like part of the zeitgeist as
I think it is today with like witch talk and
so many people really talking about the history of which
is and just modern witch witchery online. I was always
into anything um mystical. I grew up in a house
that was haunted, and it was nothing to be scared of.
(15:04):
It was just spirits that we sort of acknowledge. My
mom was insanely clairvoyant, like to the point that she
would respond to something that I was thinking in my head.
She's like the tiptok algorithm. You just have to think
about it and it shows up. That was my mom. Um.
So we were just raised to um trust our intuition
(15:27):
always and instinctual and all the spidy senses and those
were and and look for coincidences and have meaning that
is perceived much more than what we're necessarily seeing in
this world. You know, like there are always messages from somewhere,
like here's an example when my mom passed away. Well,
(15:49):
when I was in college and I had to take
a class on theater craft, which we had to learn
how to make props just in case we're going to
make it as an actress. Well, thank god idea, because
I was never gonna make it as a up master
because I the assignment was you had to build a clock,
and we had the whole semester to build it. And
I took like an old bree pin wheel and like
(16:10):
painted tim to two. Because all the commercials when I
was a kid for Time X, the watchers were timed
to two. So my mother, I think I got like
whatever one percent more than And my mother thought this
epic fail was the most hilarious thing in the entire world.
Did you go, darling, tell me that I'm about when
you build the Everyone else in my class had working clocks.
(16:36):
All of them worked, it's easily been props, and mine
was just like it looked like a sitarator had painted anyway,
she thought that was hilarious. So I would have worked
for a more abstract play. So yeah, exactly. So a
couple of years after my mom had died and I
spent like two years crying and I was like extremely
(16:57):
close to my mother. It devastated me so about my daughter.
And I went to parent Key, which is Bury, not us.
We were like anyway, And while we were there, I
went swimming and I had warned my mother's watch every
day since she died. I never took it off. I
took it off to go swimming and I lost it
and I was so upset about it. I was, yeah,
(17:20):
I was so upset. So a year later, I don't
know if you've had people that have passed on in
your life and that they've come to you, and I
think they come to you in different senses. So from
my mom, my mom always smelled incredibly beautiful. She like
I love perfume, and she also wore beautiful Gucci and
Pucci scarves. She always, you know, she was very telling it.
(17:44):
So I found the scarf of hers and it still
smelled like my mom. This is like three years after,
and I was like crying but no tears, but like
just feeling her hugging me. And I was so happy
that you know, it doesn't happen all the time, just
every now and then. So that day my my daughter
called me and said, Mummy, I had a Nana dream
(18:05):
and she came to me and I go, oh, she
goes no, she was talking to me, mummy, and she
was hugging me. And then I woke up and I
had this great dream and I looked in the suitcase
and Mummy, I found the watch. I found me watch, yeah,
which I could show you if I had a moment anyway,
she brought me the watch. It's the battery died exactly.
(18:28):
I'm tended to no. Oh my god, it's going through
your face where I was like, you know what, I
was home with Ava. I felt like I was in
a MoMA, which is like a mom comma, Like you're
just being a mom. Like that's what you're in. You
just wake up, You're in your mama. And I thought,
you know what, I'm gonna pursue being an auctioneer. That's
what I also do, and I'm not going to do
(18:48):
a comedy anymore. And this was my mother's message, like, oh,
yes you are. Look how funny this is. Like that's anyway,
how do you teach your daughter to trust her intuition?
And look where these kinds of signs always, I mean
My aim was so intuitive. I remember her asking. She's like, Mommy,
did Papa live somewhere very hot? And I was like, yeah,
(19:12):
he lived in Arizona. Just sometimes he's so tanned and
other times, like when he helps me in the ocean
if I'm scared swimming, he's all white. And she never
met him. My dad died. My dad died in the
next week, kept up pregnant. Wow. Yeah. In terms of
we're also Scottish, we come from the Kailiacs, which were
(19:34):
the very old Scottish witches. So I don't think which
is in the It's certainly never been a bad word
to me, you know what I mean. And I must
say it's a weird because I was in Salem once
and I was I was like the Grand Marshal for
um the gay Pride grade, and Salem has a creepy
vide to me that that town. I was like, I
(19:56):
was like, how insensitive that you've asked a witch to
come back here? But and it had a weird vibe.
How did you guys. I'm related to one of the
oldest which is killed in Salem. She was killed in
September of She's my grandmother, my great grandmother nine generations
back on my father's side, and it was, um, it
(20:17):
was a discovery through you know, DNA testing, and my
family is actually really on it with intuition and being
very spiritual open to all of this. But this was
just something up the tree that had kind of fallen
out of the fallen to the wayside of the conversation,
and it was all I do is work in women's stories.
So when learning this, everything made sense, like this preternatural
(20:40):
need to understand women's history, connect with women, find ways
to help them find their voice. And so then we
met and you know, the combination of being called a
witch and we both take it as a positive thing,
but many people don't perceive it as such, combined with
so much of Hillarias life experiences and you know, kind
(21:02):
of my life mission made this show just a really
natural next step for us. And so we are, which
is but not very anonymous, because it is us. So
we are. I mean, the idea is that being a
witch is a good thing. You know, it's our our
our power and being a woman, there's so much power
(21:22):
in it. But then people love to poke at us
and people love to tear us down, you know, we're
still doing the same kinds of things over and over
again and tearing people down, both publicly and privately. And
you know, I mean, how can we start to have
these conversations about women in our relationships with each other,
Because if we're not on the same team and we're
(21:44):
not supporting each other, they all this conversation about the patriarchy,
We're never going to get anywhere. But we're you know,
we're of the population. If we got on the same team,
we got this. We're the bigger group. And so it's
all about, you know, embracing each other and bracing our power,
not getting intimidated from by each other, not tearing each other,
not judging each other as much, and you know, getting
(22:06):
to a place where we can collaborate. We don't have
to all be best friends, we don't even have to
all like each other, but we have to let live.
Any time that I in my deeper case, it's like
any time I walk away from God, I'm like, well,
this is a very boring, one percent kind of dull
human existence. And I'm just you can get into a
very reactive, robotic state in life, right, And I think
(22:27):
that that meanness that you were talking about Hilaria is
it's I think there's a lot of women who like
One of the reasons I'm still doing stand up in
my fifties, which I really never thought I would continue
to do, but my mother didn't have a voice at
this age, so I'm not going to give away mine,
Like there's no way there's women. My agent needs to
(22:50):
hear what we're experiencing. So one about the meanness, I
don't think it's a question of like what can we
do other than live by example and teach our children.
That's it. That's you have your sphere of influence, and
now it's gonna increase because you have a podcast. And
(23:12):
I think just generating goodness, which you naturally do, and
be ignoring and being nonreactive to the garbage, Like I mean,
can't people say stupid things and if you engage with them,
you empower them or on a few times, I remember
(23:34):
walking out of an airport when I was on Sabrina
and I literally had like the pillow mark in my face.
I used to commute, so I take the Red Eye
and I worked all day and I got in the plane.
I took the Red Eye and I was so tired,
and I walked out of the airport and this guy goes, wow,
you look a lot better on TV than you do
in person. And I walked over to him and I said,
(23:56):
have you been on television for the last seven years?
Getting up at five and the warning and working and
then running home because you want to be with your
family because they live on a different coast than you do.
But you know that you have to work, but you
have to be away from the people that you love,
and then you think that it's okay to say that
to me. And he was so apologetic, but good, are
you right? I think in most times they're only empowered
(24:21):
until you go boom, right. I mean, well, the online
thing has taken that to the to the next level,
because you know, it's it's one thing, it's one thing
to be able to say that in person. And I've definitely,
I've definitely done that where you know, I've had people
from you know, publications that I will not name because
they are the places that we shall not name. And
(24:42):
I literally went up to them sometimes when they're chasing
me around, following me, and I said, do you know
how much you have affected my mental health? I have
gone through felt where I wanted to kill myself because
of how much you harass me, because you won't stop,
and your voice has power you in site craziness of
people getting obsessed and believing the crap that you put.
(25:05):
I said, so please leave me alone, and that made
me feel empowered. Did it work? New? Um? But I
said it and that felt helpful. But the problem is that,
you know, the online stuff is it's it just brings
it to a whole another realm because people create fake
accounts and there it's just they have all these different
technologies that somehow you know, talk about powers that they
(25:27):
can be one account and make many many, many, you know,
comments or whatever. I don't know. I'm not very good
with technology, and I worry about our kids. I wondry
about our daughters. You know, are my sons that are
that are growing up with this and it's very toxic. Okay,
I have to tell you this as I love you
and I feel maternal towards you. So the reason why
(25:47):
you have such like look at your platform. You have
an enormous ability to affect change, and you want to
do it from such a good place, right, So the
enormity of that vessel or channel or whatever you want
to call yourself is gonna come with the enormity of
like people trying to stop you. Because there's a weird
(26:08):
thing in human nature is that people tear down goodness
or change. So it's just like, if there's any way
just affirm in your head, I am really on a
path that nobody's been on and I am doing good
because it's bothering so many people. I've gotten this many
people out of their comfort zone that they are rattled
(26:30):
within themselves, that they're not gonna worry about themselves, they're
gonna worry about me. And it's so like you should
be empowered by it. You should just literally learn to
be like delete. They don't get your attention, And I
think it comes from I'm not getting a Capricorn thing
because Capricorns are so committed to doing the right thing
(26:52):
and that's all you ever do. So you're just like,
how can you have perceived me to not have done
the right thing? One You've got to just go you're human,
whatever it is. You feel like like there's something in
you that's saying maybe they're right, because otherwise you'd be
like everybody, you know what I mean? And I think
(27:15):
that what we're talking about, is that woman nous where
we go, well, this must be my fault because that's
our that's how we're raised right, right, And it goes
back to being Yeah, it goes back to being that
the woman is the okay scapegoat for all the stuff
that's going on. Let's go and poke fun at her,
Let's go be mean to her. This is it gives them,
(27:37):
you know, people a dopamine high. Um. And you know,
I mean for everybody listening this podcast. As much as
we talk about the problems that women you know, have
with each other, we also talk about the amazing women
that have supported and and stood with us. And you know,
I'm lucky today to be with both you know, Caroline
and Michelle, who have helped me so much over there
(27:59):
is I mean, Carolyn, how many times to go down
on the phone with me and I'm like crying and
You're like, I tell you this great at this great
advice and I need it and we need to hear
again and again because it's interesting. I'll have these moments
where I believe you and I'm like, yes, empowered, and
then there would be like a moment at night where
I just I started crying and like, I don't think
I can handle people being mean anymore, and I don't
(28:21):
think I can go on, you know, And then you
wake up in the morning you're like, Okay, I can
do this again. But it requires our our sorority, are
our sisterhood, are our our witches are coven to to
keep us all together, to just keep on reminding it
because it goes back to what we're talking about before.
How you know, we didn't learn this growing up. We
learned to be a comedy. We learned to put im
(28:43):
You know, my parents used to say, put yourself in
someone else's shoes, great, but I forgot to learn to
stand in my own shoes. I don't know what they
feel like. And so that's what as an adult, I'm
trying to learn to put myself and shooes. But it
it means that I must listen to my girlfriend to
help me figure out what's my size. You know, don't look,
(29:04):
I mean look externally for support. But now, like all,
you've accomplished more in your life than most humans, and
you manage I mean, you have seven children, you're an
amazing mother, You're an amazing supportive, loving wife. You're out
there you're always saying the right thing, You're always supporting them,
(29:26):
and you're always fighting back for bullies, I mean from
from bullies, like give yourself a break. You're too hard
on yourself. That's what it is. Sorry, And she's an amazing,
amazing thrend to others. I mean, your energy is boundless.
But it's funny. We need to keep hearing it. Like
we know these things, but sometimes, like the way one
more person says, it is what unlocks, like that trap
(29:48):
you're in in your mind. And I think the one
positive thing that kids might have right now is that
mindfulness and you know, practices and consciousness are so much
more a part of the conversation than they were when
we were younger. That like, there are tools out there
where you can really kind of easily learn to retrain
your mind, rewire your neural pathways, be more mindful about
(30:10):
your thoughts so your thoughts are not so debilitating. So
I think that there is there's so much power in
transmitting energy through our community and our coven and our friends.
But I think to having those conversations with our kids
and just keeping you know, keeping that as a part
of this conversation always. It's like we just have to
keep reframing how we think and how we perceive it.
(30:30):
And most like you know in mythology, the media's shield
right where the shield absorbed all negative energy and turned
it into positive energy. That was like unstoppable. And I
think that's kind of how we have to take on
some of this this darkness that you deal with so often.
I also think probably it always feels like criticism, right,
(30:52):
It feels like telling you some you're someone's told you
that you made a mistake, which Capricorns literally hate. They
devote themselves to not making mistakes. This is this, this
is the Capricorn card, your capricorn, please stop referring to
me as your subject um. You're doing it wrong, love Capricorn.
(31:18):
That's why we need to get those for Alec, just
to hold because he's always can you just tell me
something I'm doing right? When it's like coming to the kids,
I'm like, but you haven't done anything right yet, so
I don't I don't understand. We'll tell you you're doing
it right when you do it right, but you're not
doing it right. And I learned the magic too to
making man happy, which I hate to share it like this,
(31:40):
but the magic words for a man. Okay, I hope.
Whatever I'm sharing is if you say to someone, can
you do this for me? Because then they have a
task and they will complete it and they will have
achieved it and they will have pleased you. If you understand,
women step a tone in a relationship. Women set the
(32:02):
tone at business. Women are all powerful. We set the tone.
You look at a relationship, it is the woman who
is deciding whether or not the family is happy. It
is the woman. You can go in a room as
a woman talking about being a witch or not, Like
like I could take you all down with a bad
mood right now. I can absolutely burst every single bubble,
but I'm not going to because I'm setting the tone
(32:24):
right And you forget that. And I think that we
think that men are equals, but uh, you have to
know that. That's why I just stop being reactive to
anybody because even engaging in like, there's so much trolling,
there's so much whatever. Just like let them dissipate. Who cares,
(32:47):
they don't get anymore anymore of your beautiful energy. Zero.
It's about learning and and but that's like the healing process.
You know, the healing comes you have a cut and
then little by little it heals all the way to
the top, and you know, I feel like I feel
like I'm getting there. And then through that, I'm capable
of just really realizing the ridiculous, the ridiculousness. And I
(33:09):
think another thing that for for many of us, we
focused on that one mean comment, and there's like all
like the love and the wonderful and on the support
and everything, and then there's that one thing. And again,
as a Capricorn, that one thing that's just like a
really it's like the peace. It triggered something that we believe.
That's what the one thing is. It's our achilles or
it's our fear, you know, that fear of like, oh god,
(33:31):
well what if they're right? All right, Caroline, I want
to know what's and want to know what you're covering
in your coven, in our coven, in our joint coven,
our big old coven. What are you showing us? Okay?
There was At first of all, I was once hit
(33:54):
on by this gorgeous year old in Scotland and I
was like, was sarahridiculous? It was like ten years ago,
more in twelve years stuff, and um he was Scottish
and he was so handsome. He looked like Jesus. It
was very conflicting, and he said, we love that. Yeah,
he said, I want to come home with you. And
(34:17):
I'm like, are you locked out? And he's like, I've
been with older women. I know what you want. I
want to take there and I go, really, you want
to take me to the clearance isle at Homegood Okay, right,
that is what women want. Well, I'm good is my favorite.
It's because I don't know what it is to go
(34:38):
there for the ugly coffee mugs. It's just so much fun.
So this year during Halloween, okay, wait, there's more which
we got the same cup that's amazing. I bought that
at Homegoods too, Oh my god, Wicked which oh I
(35:02):
love it, but all of them. I just got that
one in potion. Oh well that's which. Please. So, I mean,
for those of you guys who couldn't see Caroline because
it's a podcast, not have which powers, she just showed
us a bunch of mugs that she bought at um
at Home Goods. What I'm coming the nose breed to?
(35:22):
What is just you don't know what the nose frieda
is it's the snot suck is the snot sucker? Don't
remember that? Yeah, I was always bad with that. So
they've actually, you know, one of the benefits of having
a hundred children is that each time they come up
with new things. So this time around, because you need
(35:43):
to get like the sailine to like spread the sailine
up their nose and then you take the tube and
you suck. That's not don't forget the filter. You forget
the filter. You're really sad person, like it's not right
in your mouth. But with this one, now they give you, say,
lean inside the little package container. And my my daughter,
(36:05):
my new daughter, she got sick at like, you know,
five five weeks. She got like a little cold five
six weeks, which was like very scary, but she was
actually really okay. It was just one of those things
that you know, you're hearing all these babies getting hospitalized
with rs BE and it made me very scary. So
I'd be up all night, you know, sucking this not
out of her nose. But you know what kept out
(36:26):
of the hospital. All right, Michelle, what are you coming
in in the coven? What what are you coming in
your um? I well, because I'm so brightly lit today,
you can't tell I do a lot of crazy. Which
skincare today is there's a lot of like because I'm
peeling like kind of like a lizard. It's like we're
all coming out and to combat all like redness and
skin stuff. And this is not like sponsored, this is
(36:48):
something I'm just obsessed with. This is this like tiger
grass stick, a repair by Doctor Jart sun block that
has green in it and you put it on your
face and it looks like you have makeup on because
it's got a little bit of yellow in it, and
it neutralizes all of the red in your skin and
it just makes everything look so nice, no matter like
what weird stuff I've done to my skin. It kind
of covers it up. And um yeah, it makes me
(37:10):
feel like I can go out into the world not
scare people with all my laser treatments. So all right,
Aunt Hilda, Aunt Caroline, best friend, thank you so much
for being on and sharing your wisdom and your fun
and making us laugh a loot. Thank you. Hilaria the
world's most beautiful Capricorn bionic woman mother, that's what it is.
(37:39):
Oh my god, Well that sums it up. Well, I'm
happy for you. I hope this is a big success. No,
thank you so much, Thank you so much for being on.
It was an absolute joy to talk to you. I'm
still laughing. I can't believe we just had Caroline Ray
on the show. I'm so glad that you've had a
chance to meet her because she again I can't say
this too many times, she's one of my favorite people
(38:00):
in the world. And as she said, she's been super
maternal to me. And we started this project about women
connecting and women lifting up women and she is the
biggest support war. So I hope all of you guys
felt that. Alright, Guys, don't forget to review, subscribe, share
with your friends, spread the word. We're having so much
(38:21):
fun doing this and I can't wait to talk to
you guys next week. Bye bye, Thanks guys. H
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