Nowadays, certain etiquette conventions have fallen to the wayside. Emojis and brief iPhone e-mails have replaced classic letter writing and reading the morning newspaper has been swapped for scrolling through social feeds. That said, there are many customs of a bygone era worth keeping around, and knowing how to set a table is one of them.
If you're planning a formal sit-down in your dining room, the concept of multiple forks and a place for each plate may seem like an overwhelming task best left to the staff of a fine-dining restaurant. Still, arranging a proper table setting can be a fun way to personalize and upgrade your next dinner party, and it's much easier than you think. The trick? Allowing your menu to dictate the formality. “The biggest difference between a casual table setting and a formal one is the amount of tabletop items included,” explains Jove Meyer, an NYC-based luxury wedding and party planner. “The less formal the meal, the fewer items you need to eat it. The more formal the meal, and the more courses, the more tabletop items you have to eat with.”
While many of the “rules” of traditional, formal dining may seem archaic today, the ethos is to make your guests feel welcomed and cared for in your home, whether you're hosting an engagement party, a casual backyard BBQ, or a playful birthday brunch. The best part is, once you know how to do it right, you'll have no problem setting any table—and, hopefully, even having a little fun with it. Without further ado, let's learn how to set a table properly.
Why a Proper Table Setting Is Important
Your tablescape is the backdrop to any dinner (or meal-based) party you host, and it's where you'll find the most opportunity to convey the formality of your event, expand on a theme, and set the mood for your guests. You may think a proper table setting is something your average diner overlooks, but you'd be surprised just how much a formal table layout can influence the rest of your party.
Beyond that, a thoughtful tablescape—which undoubtedly includes proper table settings—goes a long way toward showing your guests that you're excited to host them and are appreciative of their presence. Bonus: It'll make your food look amazing, whether you made your quiche crust from scratch or picked up appetizers from the freezer aisle of Trader Joe's.
How to Personalize Your Place Settings
Just because you'll be abiding by the guidelines for an everyday, casual, or formal table doesn't mean you can't have fun incorporating personalized details. Regardless of the formality of your event, your proper table setting is a great place to add a cheeky or thoughtful touch that will get your guests talking.
“I promise, you are not stuck with old-school silverware, white china, or crystal stemware,” Meyer says. “There are so many fun dinnerware options out there—you can still set a table formally, following those same rules, just with pieces that are more your vibe and things you would have at home. I love to embroider guests' names on the napkins, so they are now place cards and napkins; it's super high-touch and elevates the table-setting design for sure.”
How to Set an Everyday Table
Whether you're looking to graduate your weeknight dinners from the coffee table to the kitchen or just want to instill some proper manners into your little ones, knowing the proper place setting for an everyday table is a worthy skill. As a general rule of thumb, less is more when it comes to learning how to set a table for a regular weeknight dinner.
Steps to set an everyday table:
- First, set out a placemat.
- Place your main dish (be it a dinner plate or pasta bowl) in the center of the setting.
- Set a folded napkin to the left of the plate, and put the dinner fork on top of the napkin.
- Directly to the right of the plate, place your dinner knife. Then, place a spoon (if needed) to the right of the knife.
- Set the drinking glass to the top right of the plate.
How to Set a Casual Table
Well-suited to informal parties or celebrations, a casual place setting can be right at home at a birthday dinner, brunch buffet, or family-style celebration. Think of a casual table setting as a scene that looks “set” and party-ready but doesn't overwhelm guests with a bevy of options for drinkware or cutlery.
“A casual place setting is all about simplicity and utility,” says Meyer. Note that your plates can stay on the table if the meal is being served family-style; if you're hosting a plated dinner, you'll use the plate as a reference to set your table, but then remove it and place the dinner napkin there once you're ready to plate and serve food out of your kitchen.
Steps to set a casual table:
- Lay the placemat on the table.
- Place the dinner plate at the center of your setting.
- If you're serving a salad course, place the salad plate on top of the dinner plate.
- If you're serving a soup course, place the soup bowl on top of the salad plate.
- Place the dinner knife facing blade-in to the right of the plate.
- Place a folded napkin to the left of the plate and put a dinner fork on top of it.
- If you're serving soup or pasta, you can also add a spoon to the right of the dinner knife.
- Finally, place your glassware on the top-right of the plate above the knife. “I like to place the glassware at the top of the knife, starting with the water glass, then the wine glass to the right of that to create a nice angle and easy access,” adds Meyer.
- If you're using a place card, put it just above the plate.
How to Set a Formal Table
Once you've mastered a casual place setting, constructing a proper table setting for a more formal event is simply a matter of adding extra elements and building off of that foundation. “When it comes to a formal table, the core setup is the same as a casual setting, but we layer on more of everything in order to elevate the dining experience and make sure guests don't have to use the same cutlery or glassware for different courses or beverages,” says Meyer.
Steps to set a formal table:
- Lay the placemat on the table.
- Set a charger plate in the center of the placemat.
- Atop the charger plate, put the salad plate. Note that with each course, the plate will be taken away and the appropriate plate or bowl for the next course will take its place.
- Place a folded cloth napkin to the left of the charger. “In the most formal setting, a server would remove it and place it on the guests' lap,” Meyer says.
- On top of the napkin, place your dinner fork directly to the left of the charger and the salad fork to the left of that.
- Place the dinner knife to the right of the charger with the blade facing in.
- Place the soup spoon to the right of the knife.
- Place the water glass directly above the knife. If using, the champagne glass can be placed to the right of the water glass. Put the red wine glass behind the pair and the white wine glass in front. “Four glasses can look like a lot, so it is important to style them correctly,” Meyer says. Try to stagger them in this arrangement so that they're easy for the diner to reach.
- Set your bread plate to the top-left of the charger plate, with the bread knife placed directly above the charger on the tablecloth. Make sure the bread knife blade is pointing to the left with the blade pointing down.
- Set the dessert spoon above the butter knife, pointing to the left.
- The place card goes at the top-middle of the placement, above the dessert spoon.
Add Finishing Touches
Once your table settings are complete (try to leave around 18 inches between seated guests), you're ready to steal the show with the fun part: decorating your table! You can add taper candles, tiered flower arrangements, or unexpected elements like fruits, vegetables, or your favorite decorative objects. The more unexpected, the more interesting for your guests. After all, there's no better way to set the scene for a fun dinner party than with a conversation starter. Bon appétit
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Hadley Keller is the Director of Editorial and Community Engagement at the Design Leadership Network, a community of top interior designers. She has covered design, interiors, and culture for over 10 years.
Alyssa Longobucco is a freelance writer, editor, and stylist with a background in interior and lifestyle content. Her work helps readers digest design trends and provides actionable expert advice for creating a home they love. She has over a decade of experience in the media industry, and her work has appeared in Real Simple, Good Housekeeping, SELF, Apartment Therapy, The Knot, Domino, HGTV Magazine, Country Living, and more. Alyssa holds a BA in Journalism and Public Relations from Marist College and interior design certifications from NYIAD and RIDQC.
