For the Beauty Issue, Bazaar talked to four of the moment's most compelling models about their own philosophies of beauty. Below, Akon Changkou on learning to have faith in herself.
I’m one of eight. I have six sisters and one brother, and I thought I was the ugly one in my family for so long. My siblings have a Miss Universe–type beauty, and I’m more unconventional. I’m quite small, about five foot seven, but we run with five foot nine for work. Now that I’m doing well, I’m exposing my height, but at the time I didn’t see myself succeeding.
I studied psychology at Adelaide University [in Australia], but I dropped out after two years. I didn’t know how to stick to something. I wasn’t keen on being at uni for six years and then getting a job. I felt like my success was somewhere else. I just didn’t know where. During my restaurant jobs, I would get asked if I wanted to model. I assumed I was too small, but once I got the opportunity where someone said, “Oh, don’t worry about your height, we’ll figure it out” and just believed in me, everything happened pretty fast. Funnily enough, I remember a few years before modeling I cut my hair off because I relaxed it for a formal and it became damaged. I had no edges, so I decided to start from the ground up. Everyone told me that I looked good with short hair, but I thought I looked like a 12-year-old boy. I kept it because it was low-maintenance. That’s how I got scouted. I didn’t cut my hair for modeling, which is nice because I know a lot of girls, especially Black girls, cut their hair because someone tells them to do it. That would’ve shocked me more if it wasn’t my choice, you know?
Before I was in this industry, I assumed you had to be conventionally pretty and super tall to do well. I feel like I’ve broken those barriers now. With social media, you’re only posting your successes. It’s like everyone is super glamorous all the time. Growing up, I didn’t wear a lot of makeup, but I felt like I had to do that just to conform. My extreme-contouring phase is a big regret. With modeling, I don’t know if this makes sense, but I feel like I appreciate certain features about myself more than I did before because I’m getting praised for them. I’ve really grown to appreciate my natural beauty and feel the most beautiful in comfortable clothes with a makeup-free face. Feeling this way didn’t come easy. It’s hard because I didn’t grow up in South Sudan, and I wish I did. I was there until I was nine, and then most of my life was in Australia. I grew up around people who didn’t look like me. It was just confusing. When I went to school, I was always the only Black girl in class. I didn’t see myself represented or anything apart from my siblings, who, again, were to me much prettier. I don’t think I was bullied in school, but I did feel different. I’d get the best-hair award and things like that. I’m like, what the hell? Or people would say random comments, like “Your hair’s so spongy.”
I don’t come from a very sentimental family. We don’t have tons of family pictures hanging up at our house. But one thing I learned about beauty from them was not bleaching my skin, which was a huge influence growing up. There were times I was close to doing it, but I’m so lucky that I’m lazy. Just the thought of having parts of me that are discolored freaks me out. Oh my God, everyone was doing it. And I do see why they did it—because of colorism, obviously. I almost fell into the trap, but that’s one thing I’m so, so grateful for because I was able to see the effects of it. I think about it sometimes. If I went that route, I wouldn’t have this career or level of love for myself.
I still remember those times of not liking so much about myself: my lips, my nose, my round face. It’s insane. I even used to have a certain way of smiling to make my lips seem smaller. Now, everyone wants to look this way, like a Bratz doll. Sometimes it feels like being Black is a trend because everyone’s appreciating our features now. But it’s frustrating because we’ve always been beautiful.
This article originally appeared in the May 2023 issue of Harper's Bazaar.
