Stela's Reviews > 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

TDLR: superficial but not terrible advice packaged sloppily by a man with no credentials. Maybe if you've never read any personal development article or book ever, this is an okay start.

Background: I've been avoiding this book for a while. Even the title biased me because RULES????? for LOVE? or LIFE? Ridiculous. It sounds like click bait articles that will also tell me 5 foods to eat to lose 20lbs. But it's been recommended to me a lot. And I listened to him on a few podcasts and thought... well... maybe I'll give it a try. At this point, I still don't understand why he's so popular and some part of me is very reluctant to lean into him. my intuition does not want to trust him. And frankly....Part of me is worried I'll read it and unlock some part of myself I wasn't ready for, some rule that hits me deeply, something that clicks some inadequacy of mine. But... I read it anyway with an open mind and heart and whatever else.

Before we continue... I wanted to write a fair critique so I read the book and even listened to parts to see if anything changed with him reading it. I listened to podcasts where he is a guest and a few where he's the host and both solo and guest episodes. I googled some of the things he talks about in the book. I googled him. Overall, I gave him a fair chance before really settling into my decision.

Which is that this is an objectively terrible book by someone young with a large follower for unknown reasons. I think his credentials are seriously that he is married (he won't ever let the reader forget it), that he was a monk for a bit (won't let that one go either) and that he is a coach (what does that even really mean). He was a monk for three years (age 22-25). It's more than any average person sure but that's.... really not a lot of time to be making big proclamations.
He's like an Indian Rachel Hollis.

1. Life and love have no rules. The title is clickbait and so is the book.
2. The advice isn't actually bad. But it's superficial and has no nuance. love yourself, be comfortable with yourself, fight healthily, don't be in abusive relationships, love not just your partner, support your partner. WOW.
3. This book is poorly written. The language is very informal which is the intent but my god, where was the editor. It has no flow, lacks transitions. It jumps mid paragraph between thoughts to the point I thought I hadn't read it right. Sloppy.
4. I think he takes some serious liberties with interpretations of Vedic texts. He frames everything into love (and mostly between monogamous partners) which... took one Google to dispel. His four stages of love.... are really stretched interpretations from the Bhagavad Gita. And I feel like he just uses whatever suits him to fit his point because well... none of us were monks! none of us have read the Bhagavad Gita!! so how would we know!
5. He uses "modern science" really poorly in the book. He cites some slapshot articles barely grazing their actual meaning.
6. He really relies on the fact that he was a monk, is a husband, and a coach to whoever for the reader to trust him. I am a PhD, I've been a girlfriend, and I coach people. Does that automatically mean you should trust me???? I actually don't trust him one bit. I know he's only gonna try to sell me his next book, his meditation app, his coaching services, or his podcast, whatever snake oil he's got cooking.
7. I think he takes advantage of a moment in time when a lot of millenials look to 'eastern' cultures for things where 'western' seems to be lacking. Yoga ('vinyasa', 'hatha', 'nidra') is popular, Ayurvedic practices are seeing an uptick, meditation (typically associated with Indian cultures) is gaining traction. I'm surprised tumeric wasn't one of the rules.


That's it. If you got this far into the review, I'll just say - don't read this book.
I personally won't be giving this man any more money or platform and my gut says he will be caught in a scandal about his writings and attributions, credentials or something else within the next decade.