Jordan (Jordy’s Book Club)'s Reviews > Hello Beautiful

By now, you’ve probably seen the rave reviews for Ann Napolitano’s just published HELLO BEAUTIFUL. It’s Oprah’s 100th Book Club pick, a @bookofthemonth selection, the latest #notyomamasbookclub pick, and an Amazon Best of the month pick.

You really don’t need me to weigh in at this point as to whether you should read this sprawling family drama.

What you need is a WARNING to stay the hell away from Ann Napolitano books!!

If you crave emotional stability.
If you would like to avoid devastating catharsis.
If you prefer your characters surface level and your stories simple.
If you need to save money on Kleenex.
If you would like to go to bed at a reasonable hour.

Then I am begging you: avoid Ann Napolitano and the tear-stained plague she hath wrought upon us.

After reading Ann’s previous book, JBC TOP 10 (2020) pick DEAR EDWARD, you would think I had learned my lesson. Here I am believing there's no way Ms. Napolitano could possibly inflict any additional devastation upon me.

Book Friends: I WAS WRONG. I mean, just read this passage:

“Look,” [he] said, desperate now. “There must be other guys. Find another guy. Keep looking.”

“There is no other guy” she said. “You’re the one.”

“I don’t deserve this.” He meant all of it: this moment, this woman in front of him, her hand in his, because she had crossed the room, and was holding his hand now. Warmth rushed through him.

“Well I do,”…[a]nd she leaned forward and kissed him.

Are you kidding me, Ann Napolitano!? Do you enjoy this?

I bet Ann gleefully wrote that passage. She probably closed her laptop afterwards and ordered chicken fingers on Postmates to celebrate another successful day of writing and wreaking inevitable heart-rending havoc on her readers, and didn't think twice about lighting a literary match and personally burning my GD house of emotions down to the studs.

"Would you like honey mustard or ranch with those?"

"No thanks", said Ann Napolitano. "My dipping sauce of choice is my readers' tears."

So There you go. Take all my stars, my sanity, my tears...my tendies. This book is brilliant, Ann Napolitano.

As for the rest of you...well, you've been warned.