Sign in with Facebook
Poiema's Reviews > Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience
Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience
by
by
Brené Brown is certainly well known as a cultural voice, having gained repute in 2010 when her TED talk on vulnerability went viral. In this book, she seeks to give people the language needed for expressing emotion. According to her research, most people have only enough emotional awareness to lump their feelings into three categories. To counter that severe over-simplification, she seeks in this book to define and catalog the wide range of emotions, along with their subcategories. The formula: define, share research, tell a story as an example. Because there were 87 emotions addressed, the book became a bit tedious. Ironically, the methodical treatment of each emotion in scientific manner felt cold and sterile to me.
I do concur with her premise that "language matters," and that it can be transformative to be able to communicate accurately our feelings. Doing so has the potential to bring us into a mutual understanding with others, to enhance and deepen our relationships. But there was an almost indefinable "something" that made me resistant, uncomfortable even. Was it the buzzwords she sprinkled liberally throughout? Was it the emphasis on excavating our "truest self"?
Here are a few snippets I can quote as examples:
"To form meaningful connections with others, we must first connect with ourselves. "
"that solid ground is within us."
"owning our sadness is courageous, and is a necessary step in finding our way back to ourselves."
"We need to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others."
SELF, SELF, SELF
I came of age in the era of hippies, when the term "naval gazing" became popular. This feels like naval gazing recycled.
Don't get me wrong; Brown's definitions of emotions are spot-on. Some of the illustrative stories were engaging and touching. But as a Christian, my source and resource lies outside of me. There's no good thing, no "solid ground within" ME, apart from Christ. Though we can agree on the definitions, though we may aspire to many of the same things (such as connection), I cannot embrace the doctrine of self. I know enough about myself to realize that I must do better than to analyze and discuss emotions. I must tap into the love of a Living God, to seek to grow in expressing that love, and to be perfected in it. That is emotional intelligence, that is emotional maturity: to be perfected in love.
I do concur with her premise that "language matters," and that it can be transformative to be able to communicate accurately our feelings. Doing so has the potential to bring us into a mutual understanding with others, to enhance and deepen our relationships. But there was an almost indefinable "something" that made me resistant, uncomfortable even. Was it the buzzwords she sprinkled liberally throughout? Was it the emphasis on excavating our "truest self"?
Here are a few snippets I can quote as examples:
"To form meaningful connections with others, we must first connect with ourselves. "
"that solid ground is within us."
"owning our sadness is courageous, and is a necessary step in finding our way back to ourselves."
"We need to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others."
SELF, SELF, SELF
I came of age in the era of hippies, when the term "naval gazing" became popular. This feels like naval gazing recycled.
Don't get me wrong; Brown's definitions of emotions are spot-on. Some of the illustrative stories were engaging and touching. But as a Christian, my source and resource lies outside of me. There's no good thing, no "solid ground within" ME, apart from Christ. Though we can agree on the definitions, though we may aspire to many of the same things (such as connection), I cannot embrace the doctrine of self. I know enough about myself to realize that I must do better than to analyze and discuss emotions. I must tap into the love of a Living God, to seek to grow in expressing that love, and to be perfected in it. That is emotional intelligence, that is emotional maturity: to be perfected in love.
Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read
Atlas of the Heart.
Sign In »
Reading Progress
January 18, 2022
–
Started Reading
January 18, 2022
– Shelved as:
happiness-habits
January 18, 2022
– Shelved
January 18, 2022
– Shelved as:
self-help
January 23, 2022
–
Finished Reading
Comments Showing 1-2 of 2 (2 new)
date
newest »
newest »
message 1:
by
ms.petra
(new)
-
rated it 2 stars
Jul 11, 2022 10:59AM
Yes! This is a bit too analytical for me and love analyzing. I think we have become to self centered and focused on every single emotion instead of just getting on with life. Bad stuff happens. Good stuff happens. Life us tedious. Life is exciting. It is what it is. 🤷 We have little control. Surrender.
reply
|
flag
Interesting take. Commenting here because I’m a Christian too, and I didn’t get this at all from her book. I also didn’t expect it to be from a Christian or biblical perspective so I take out the helpful bits and leave what doesn’t align with my personal beliefs. I think what you saw as an emphasis on “self” I saw more as an emphasis on “self awareness”. The last quote you gave, for instance. I took that to mean that I have to find my identity in Christ (belonging to myself and feeling comfortable with myself and my identity) as much as I need the meaningful connection to and with others. I suppose, as with most things, it’s a matter of perspective.
