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Jen's Reviews > What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
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I wanted to like this book and I did like the theme that pulsed throughout. However, I had some issues with the mixed messages such as "if you didn't know love as a child, you can never love", then later on saying everyone can heal. Also, many times throughout the book there was some negative generalizations and pre-judging of single parents, which I found highly inappropriate. (There are some single parents who are rocking it and some two-parent homes that are not.). Finally, confirmation bias was prevalent throughout, as the book seemed riddled with sensational, cherry picked stories used to illustrate the point.
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What Happened To You?.
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Reading Progress
May 4, 2021
–
Started Reading
May 4, 2021
– Shelved
May 7, 2021
–
Finished Reading
Comments Showing 1-6 of 6 (6 new)
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mahi
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Aug 21, 2021 04:12AM
about the "if you didn't know love as a child, you can never love" part, does the book try to make the reader feel bad about it? because i dont want to read it if it does,,
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This scared me into reading it as well. SO many judgements we face in life. I KNOW I loved my children, and my children KNOW how pervasively I I loved them throughout the lives (now 30-32 years young). I'll probably purchase the book, YET would you please expand upon your thoguhts & perceptions about single parent bias. I definitely felt that while being the awesome single parent of children whose father had died. It was like so accusatory bringing normal child stuff to school leaders, however I as a 'single' mom meant 'I" was the problem. I knew better, yet it was soooooooooooo HURTFUL and nonproductive (not just to me but) to getting one of my children the support he desperately needed.
I'm sorry to say that I completely think you misunderstood what they were trying to say there. Please do not let this review keep you from reading this book because it is very not the message that I received.
Michele I think they are very positive towards single parents and you would definitely not feel negatively targeted by the book. They simply state that in lots of societies there are up to 8 people involved in raising a kid, and home difficult it is for s single parents to do all of that alone, and that they shouldn't feel bad for the fact that it's such a difficult task because it just objectively is. That's how I interpreted it at least.
I agree with this review and I also hated the part where Oprah shamed the mom for taking photos of her kids on the carriage ride rather than engaging with them. And suggested later she posted to Instagram as proof of a happy day. Ok Oprah. When you were a mom and this was your life …. Oh wait. Right. Yeah.
I believe the book tries to depict that there is an option to learn to love even tho nobody didnt teach us, because we just have to "light up" parts of us that love. If we didnt have adequate exaples growing up, chances are we will repeat the process until we see what is going on and decide to put a stop on it. Its talking about trangenerational trauma and is giving a hope that everyone can get a help they deserve, no matter the age they realize they need it.
