Rating this doesn't feel right to me. All I'll say is:
1) The writing is very good
2) I related way more than I thought I would. It was fascinating to rRating this doesn't feel right to me. All I'll say is:
1) The writing is very good
2) I related way more than I thought I would. It was fascinating to read about a person who is so unlike me, having so many shared experiences.
3) Coincidentally, certain moments felt completely unreachable. Sometimes I thought....wow, well here's a problem I'll never have.
4) At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. I don't think the purpose of this book was to be relatable, but a way for Emily to gain back control that was repeatedly taken away from her, and in turn, reclaim the body she never felt was hers.
A quote that hit too hard for my liking:
"Your father and I have said if anything ever happened to you, we’d kill ourselves.” She spoke matter-of-factly. “That would be it for us, there would be no reason to live.” She lifted her glass and took a sip. “I don’t want to be your only reason to live,” I said, haltingly, stumbling over my words. I tried again; “I don’t want to hear that.” “Oh, Emily, I wasn’t saying it like that.” She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. Still, I got the sense that, striking out on my own, leaving them—leaving the house—would kill them.
having a parent who is firmly reliant on you for their happiness is never lonely, yet it drains you eventually. The bits where she describes her relationship with her parents were so interesting to me....more
on hold for now. But it's a 2 star read so far. Won't be rating officially yet cause I'm not solid on it.
But over all, from what I've read, it's a veron hold for now. But it's a 2 star read so far. Won't be rating officially yet cause I'm not solid on it.
But over all, from what I've read, it's a very bleak experience and not in an unsettling way, more like....bore me slowly until I go insane way.
The formatting of this book was designed to torture asylum victims. Literary form of the white room. But in the context of this story, it's rather symbolic I guess. The writing style should be my own personal torture chamber, and yet... this is surprisingly easy to read. If it wasn't so dull I would have finished in a few hours and not be embarrassing myself right now, over 2 weeks later and not even half way done...more
I get why people love this, but lolita genuinely put me into such a depressing mood. I might as well commit suicide now.
I've heard the name "Lo3 stars
I get why people love this, but lolita genuinely put me into such a depressing mood. I might as well commit suicide now.
I've heard the name "Lolita" since very early childhood, I've watched the movie several times...hell, I've been compared to her as a kid (which is very odd & common here❔)...but the book specifically managed to trigger a mix of feelings I haven't felt before: Revolted sadness. (I watched the movie too young to fully understand the significance and was more shocked than anything.)
I had to read with hefty breaks in between because this actually mentally exhausted me. Now, whether that's just my current mental state or this book's fault is under question, but I guess being inside a poetic pedophile's mind for hours on end weakened my endurance.
I will never understand people who put equal blame on Lo. If I, an average teenager, couldn't fully grasp the meaning of the movie... how could Lo, a 12 year old orphan, responsibly acknowledge the severity of her situation? Neither do I recognise the supposed "charm" of Humbert Humbert certain readers appear to see in him. I was well and truly on the verge of tearing up...or crying. Former caused by the repugnance of our narrator and latter out of pity and sadness for the child victim whose voice was never heard (although I understand why).
And most of all, this story is not one of "love"...despite even Nabokov insisting on it. Maybe when I am older and decide to reread this book, my mature mind will see all the deeper complexities of Humbert and Lolita's relationship, maybe I'll even glimpse love somewhere in there.
But today I remain with this opinion:
Lolita is a story of grooming, rape, manipulation, obsession and old man's lust for preadolescent "nymphets" veiled under brilliant writing and an unlikely but sickeningly mesmerising perspective. Some might argue that the only place where a love story ever existed is in Humbert's delusional mind, so maybe it is a love story. But then again, whether it really was love is a whole debate on its own.
Everything became even more eye opening after reading an article on "The Real Lolita" aka Sally Horner and Nabokov's apparent inspiration from the case. It's actually very fascinating and only enhanced the cleverness of this book in my eyes.
a link to a short, enlightening video which talks about how the publishing industry failed lolita in several aspects, and I believe encouraged this twisted view of Dolores Haze: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1gOh......more
It may be horrible to be good. [...] Is a man who chooses the bad perhaps in some way better than a man who has the good imposed upon h
4 stars
It may be horrible to be good. [...] Is a man who chooses the bad perhaps in some way better than a man who has the good imposed upon him?
The audience and the intended affect:
A Linguist's goldmine A Russian's source of confusion A Brit's comedy A Psychologist's topic for conversation A composer's pride & joy A criminal's nightmare My one brain cell's reason for suicide
"What are you doing here, honey? You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets." And it was then Cecilia gave orally what was to be her only form of suicide note, "Obviously, Doctor," she said, "you've never been a thirteen-year-old girl."
Very male gaze, most of the time purposeful. Unnecessary slurs. Weak story. Mesmerizing writing. Loved the way the sisters were shrouded in mystery and viewed in an almost ethereal light by the obsessed narrators, when really they were your average teenagers but deeply troubled. This could've been epic and packed a bigger punch if given better direction. The movie is the exact replica of the book yet the cinematography, lousy acting, and story's overall lack of plot made it worse to watch than read....more
First half was a huge pile of repeated information, no character development, and a plot that lost all its initial intrigue.
The second half was3 stars
First half was a huge pile of repeated information, no character development, and a plot that lost all its initial intrigue.
The second half was a lot better though. Very adrenaline inducing and the only reason I gave this 3 stars.
My name is John Cleaver. I live in Clayton County, in a mortuary on the edge of town. I have a mother and a sister and an aunt. I'm sixteen years old. I like reading, cooking, and a girl named Brooke. I want to do what's right, no matter what. I want to be a good person.
But that was only half of me.
My name is Mr Monster. I show dozens of warning signs for serial killer behaviour, and I fantasise about violence and death. I'm more comfortable around corpses that people. I killed a demon, and every day I feel the need to kill again, like a bottomless pit in the centre of my soul.
Ever had that one abusive, manipulative & lowkey psychotic girl-friend that probably fucked half of your life up.... But you still always came back foEver had that one abusive, manipulative & lowkey psychotic girl-friend that probably fucked half of your life up.... But you still always came back for more?
Not gonna lie, this book might've triggered some of my PTSD.
Random thoughts ➥ Heroine reminded me of Effy ➥ VERY BRITISH (in the best way) ➥ Why go to a therapist when you have Uber drivers...more
Well.......I am just quietly sitting in my room, smelling the steak my mother is cooking in the kitchen, side-eyeing the leather winter boots I3 stars
Well.......I am just quietly sitting in my room, smelling the steak my mother is cooking in the kitchen, side-eyeing the leather winter boots I have shoved in the corner of my closet, thinking of a time I used to work in a fur shop, and recognising the cunt that I am.
When I say the silence in my room has never been louder.
I'd recommend going into this blind. However, there are no spoilers in this review. Also the misanthropy was riding me hard while writing this so don't mind me.
In a world where animal meat can no longer be consumed due to a deadly virus, humans have done what they do best: invent excuses for why the atrocious things they do are inevitably acceptable.
In this world's case, the next atrocity on the agenda is replacing animal meat with humans or as they like to call them "heads" / "meat".
I found this turn of events interesting because we as humans are known to have our heads shoved all the way up our asses. It would be hard to believe that society would stoop to eating each other since we perceive ourselves as the superior species in every way. Not unless we view the cattle as inhuman, which is exactly what happened here. Referring to meat as humans is illegal and punishable in a real ironic way if you ask me. Humanise the meat, become the meat.
So what does the MC do? He makes the food his pet.
It may seem like this book is over the top in the portrayal of reactions people have to normalised cannibalism. But I think it's a pretty accurate picture of how our society really works. All the illogical, unfair and vicious parts are brought to light. One atrocity is condemned when other is glorified under the pretence of law, men are categorised as being good & honest for feeding into inhumanity, normal people easily manipulated which leaves them just as caged as the "heads" in slaughterhouses...
eat their domestic heads alive, part by part. They say the meat tastes better, claim it’s really fresh. Tutorials are available that explain how, when and where to make the cuts so the product doesn’t die early.
[Literally the next sentence....]
Owning slaves is prohibited.
He remembers there was a sentence that everyone repeated, horrified: “Slavery is barbaric.”
Anyway, back to my initial ramblings. After reading the final line of the book, I felt like a cunt (that was the goal tho, wasn't it?). I smelled the meat, saw the leather, petted my two beautiful cats and decided that the best solution is for all humans to be nullified.
The end<3
Nullify, he thinks, another word that silences the horror.
Imagine living out your life, only to be reborn on the same date, same place, in the same body with all your memories intact.....forever
That's 4 stars
Imagine living out your life, only to be reborn on the same date, same place, in the same body with all your memories intact.....forever
That's what Harry August's entire existence entails. The MC is basically a 700 year old man in a child's body.
I am Harry August, born New Year’s Day 1919. I am sixty-eight years old. I am eight hundred and ninety-nine.
Doesn't that (sort of) remind you of a certain man child from The Umbrella Academy? [image]
HA NO. Number 5 had an actual personality. Harry however didn't, even considering the fact he had centuries to perfect it.
The book was written in the first POV, but it felt like third because there was not much emotion in the way the hero spoke.
I know now that there is something dead inside me though I cannot remember exactly when it died.
Everything was told in lyrical sentences that upheld a clinical clarity for most of this book. I could never tell what Harry was feeling. Not to say that there weren't many emotional scenes or phrases that had my heart beating out of my chest.
Because truly this book has one of the most gripping concepts I've ever read.
Harry August is an orphan in every life. A spy in several. He has been a monk that travelled most of the world... and a soldier who has seen the world war more times than anyone ever should. He has fallen in love and killed in cold blood. Worked as a doctor for one lifetime, committed to asylums in the next. Died as a little boy just as he did in old age from a sickness he can't escape.
Harry has lived through so many extraordinary lives, each one the same yet so different.
Death holds no fear for us. It is rebirth where the terror lies. Rebirth, and the lingering fear that no matter how much our bodies are renewed, our minds cannot be saved.
Until finally he discovers a secret society that lives within time itself: The Cronus Club. It holds members that possess abilities much like his own and so they call themselves "the Kalachakra"
The world-building was unique, unlike anything I have ever read before (which isn't surprising since I read complete trash but BEAR WITH ME). They communicated back through generations of time, left messages to be found in the future, helped members and just as well, ruthlessly terminated those who couldn't follow the rules that kept their club alive for thousands of years.
And I don't say "ruthlessly" lightly. This book had some torture techniques that were hard to get through.
if nothing is to change at all, then we must watch our own kind constantly and punish ruthlessly, and live without remorse
But the story of Harry's life really starts on his death bed, his 11th death bed to be precise. When a little girl with a german accent comes to him declaring she is from the future and carries what might be, the most important message of any of his life-times.
The world is ending. And with each rebirth, it's getting closer & closer to the 20th century.
What did I say about that Umbrella Academy reference *cough* [image]
This would've been 5 stars....IF MY BRAIN WASN'T ABOUT TO EXPLODE FROM THE PRETENTIOUSNESS OF THIS BOOK
Here is a simple sentence for all of us simple-minded people (example):
Is it bad to add too much sugar to a coffee? Seems unhealthy, so I'll refrain with one teaspoon.
How this book would phrase that sentence so we have the maximum probability of brain death:
Is it a factual statement that adding glucose to your morning drinks, makes your body pressure rise above levels mortals unlike myself should concern themselves with? Or is it simply a theory that holds no scientific validity whatsoever, in order to scare our race into compliance?...more
How do you stop yourself from becoming a serial killer....when your first and main obsession are serial killers?
Simple. You make rules.
That's 4 stars
How do you stop yourself from becoming a serial killer....when your first and main obsession are serial killers?
Simple. You make rules.
That's what a 15 year old sociopath named John Wayne Cleaver did.
"I just wish I knew why," She said. "Why what?" "Why you're so obsessed with serial killers." "Everybody's got to have a hobby,"
RULE #1 If he watches one person for too long, he ignores them for a whole week
He likes to form.....let's say fixations because "obsession" isn't John's favourite word. Fixations he tends to follow around, watch through windows and learn everything about.
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