I'll overlook a lot when it comes to romance books, but the MMC assuming the FMC is a figure skater when she's clearly wearing hockey skates is somethI'll overlook a lot when it comes to romance books, but the MMC assuming the FMC is a figure skater when she's clearly wearing hockey skates is something not even Ray Charles could turn a blind eye to. ...more
Ever wondered what it's like to be inside the mind of an incel? Read Finn's pov to find out. He definitely moans his own name during sex
I lasted exacEver wondered what it's like to be inside the mind of an incel? Read Finn's pov to find out. He definitely moans his own name during sex
I lasted exactly one page of his pov. Oh it can't be THAT bad, you may be thinking... Welp, feast your eyes upon these quotes from the first page:
"I was also blessed with good looks (plenty of thanks to my personal trainer Josh at Workout 24/7 on that part) but I couldn't help but notice that Olive was seemingly immune to my flirtation. It was disappointing but also refreshing, no point in wasting my time trying to charm the pants of this one." THIS ONE. THIS. ONE.
Just one sentence later...
"Shame for her, I was what some of my mom's friends considered a "catch" according to her Facebook posts." *Projectile vomits* your mom should've swallowed, respectfully.
And lastly...
"I couldn't remember the last time a woman had been so annoyed in my presence. Maybe never?" If I had to choose between Finn and Ted Bundy, I'd choose yeeting myself off a cliff.
Ight tapped out because this is less billionaire romance and more Bitcoin bro and boss babe start a podcast. I'll leave you with this excerpt:
WhenevIght tapped out because this is less billionaire romance and more Bitcoin bro and boss babe start a podcast. I'll leave you with this excerpt:
Whenever a topic comes up, I like to take the other side, just to see what happens. Does the person I’m talking to feel as strongly as they think they do? Are they as informed as they think they are? Do they know what biases led them to believe what they believe? Can they respect a different opinion, even if they disagree? I’m not trying to be annoying, but I know most people think I am. They think I’m argumentative and love to pick fights. you may not be trying to be annoying, but you are miss "well actually" devil's advocate head ass.
Sorry to be a Grinch but this is not what I want from a Christmas novella that's described as being in the same vein as your favourite hallmark movie but with more swooning and banter.
I tried but I can't do it. This book ran purely on vibes. Not a Google search in sight. I lived in the States for 7 years, and during that time I wentI tried but I can't do it. This book ran purely on vibes. Not a Google search in sight. I lived in the States for 7 years, and during that time I went through 4 student visas, an OPT visa, an attempt at an H1b visa, my parents got their green cards, and my husband was in the trenches with his h1b. I know almost TOO much about the immigration system and under no circumstances are ya'll getting a marriage-based green card locked down in 12 months flat. Nope. Don't like it.
Also, I'm Canadian and the whole "I can't go back to Canada and still get drafted into the NHL" felt like an attack against our charter of rights and freedoms. And before you say: it's fiction... this is the equivalent to saying the sky is purple because you're colour-blind and never confirmed it with someone who can actually see colours.
Also, the MMC is described as a golden retriever. That would be correct if the golden retriever was possessed by the spirit of Ted Bundy AND Jeffrey Dahmer. Girlie, make sure you take an inventory of your undies on a daily basis because I have not one shred of doubt this man would break into your home to steal them. He was a CREEP. How can you j*rk off to a wedding with a girl who you've only had surface-level convos with? And tbh even if you knew her like the back of your hand... J*RK OFF TO A WEDDING??????????????????? Someone call the authorities.
Other low-lights included:
"My mother raised me to be an unholy terror on the ice but a gentleman as soon as I take off my skates. Like a fucking Canadian should be." .... where can I return my citizenship?
"No worries. It's standard Bandit behavior," she quips easily, because she's so effortlessly cool. ole girl from Gone Girl would have a field day with this
"Her half smile produces a dimple, and I almost pass out, it's so pretty." Sir you need to see a health professional. Might be an iron deficiency.
"My throat drops into my stomach." GAG REFLEX WHO>??????? THROAT GAME GOIN CRAZYYYYYYYY
"She gently touches her tongue to the seam of my lips, and I hiss like a teakettle..." The positive here is he knows what a kettle is so he must not be microwaving his hot water like some of ya'll heathens
"But he has great nipples. They look like they've been stretched tight..." *cackles*
"I'm still a foot taller than her, and I remind myself that I'll never use that size difference against her." ...... why do you need a reminder tho?
Despite not finishing the book, I'm predicting that this will be the new Verity in terms of popularity. Once booktok gets a hold of this the DNF @ 12%
Despite not finishing the book, I'm predicting that this will be the new Verity in terms of popularity. Once booktok gets a hold of this the hoes are gonna go craaazzzyyyyy!
The word 'breath' was used 168... YEP ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY EIGHT..... times in this book. That's every 2.2 pages. Absolutely not. Flag on the field. Point penalty. Red card. All of it. Maybe the COVID mentions in Holly weren't that bad after all...........
spoilers alert (I don't count anything that happens in the first 20% as a spoiler but I know others do)
I'll admit it, I was initially intrigued. Idk how it's possible to be bored reading about hoes trapped in cages, but I was. I decided I had enough when the fmc was r*ped and when she's put back in the cage, her cage neighbour—who also happens to be the son of her mother's murderer—talked about how there was still a spark in her eye and decided the best thing to do was reach out and hold her hand. Yep the first thing a woman who's first seggual experience was r*pe wants to do afterward is hold hands with the son of her mother's murderer........... Next day she gets a chocolate-dipped strawberry on her food tray and ole boy is like "romantic." ????? Read the room (or cage)????????????
I really wanted to like this book because I love a tale of girlies getting revenge on predators, but I could not get behind Billie. I'm DNF early af.
I really wanted to like this book because I love a tale of girlies getting revenge on predators, but I could not get behind Billie. I'm not against a quirky character (see: Amanda in the Crimson Lake by Candice Fox series) but Billie was acting a lil too irrational for me to feel confident in her revenge seeking abilities. In the first 5%, she:
1. Leaves the apartment of her one night stand with one shoe on because she can't find the other and goes straight to her fancy paralegal job. Nah girl. If you were going home, ok maybe. But you can't go to work and risk your bosses seeing your toes when you're on the brink of being fired. Make like Indiana Jones and find the Ark of Covenant (aka your shoe) OR "borrow" his shoes and bring em back. You ain't raw dogging the New York sidewalk. Just no.
2. She uses face moisturizer on her lips. Ok now we're just trolling. This wasn't even written by a man.
3. After the two incidents above we find out that Billie just broke 11 monts of sobriety. Is she upset? Not in the slightest. She was more emotional about her missing shoe and the bombastic side eye the cabbie was giving her than the fact she broke her sobriety. She had not one conflicting thought/emotional response to this event. Huh??? It felt like the author had just assigned her this "life event" for the hell of it but didn't actually explore what this meant.
4. Called her one night stand a douchebag who preys on drunk girls. We legit know nothing about him other than his name is Joshua and he has some trophies in his room. What if he was drunk too when y'all met? She also states that didn't seggs. So just a one night cuddle? Idk but seemed a lil outta pocket to call him a douche when you've got face moisturizer on your lips and rocked up to your fancy lawyer office in one shoe.
And yes this all occured in 5%! For shame. If you know of a similar book, please let me know as I'm on the hunt for something in this vein but with a protagonist who wears both shoes.
Fight me but idc about Evelyn. Also how many times does Monique need something explained to her before her brain synapses start firing? Girl get it toFight me but idc about Evelyn. Also how many times does Monique need something explained to her before her brain synapses start firing? Girl get it together. ...more
Thank you St. Martin's Press (LOL) and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. IYKYK, my reviews are always honest.
DNF @16%
BRUUTHHHAThank you St. Martin's Press (LOL) and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. IYKYK, my reviews are always honest.
DNF @16%
BRUUTHHHAAA????? LMAOOOO. You may be familiar with my disdain for Stay Awake, but I always give an author two chances before writing them off. WELP. Adding another SMP author to the no-no list.
Like Stay Awake, this gave me forehead wrinkles. I've seen a couple reviews wondering what happened to Rachel's personality and even though I didn't read book #1 (duh), I can agree that she is insufferable for absolutely NO reason. I really have to wonder if authors don't realize they're writing these combative, difficult characters? Or is this a reflection of themselves? I hope not. Rachel was abrasive from the jump... homegirl needed a Snickers bar ASAP. When she threw a lil fit because the FBI required her to sign a NDA I holleredth. She dead ass thought the FBI was bringing her, a podcaster, into an investigation with no strings attached trololololol. Oh and then like 3 paragraphs later she'd like fine I agree to your terms without thinking it through. Make it make sense?
Two gripes from Stay Awake make an appearance in this book: random use of full government names and the repetitiveness. Seriously, who are the editors at SMP? We need to have a little chat. And this is from someone who got paid to edit, so it's not like I'm just chatting shit (for the most part). It's literally your job to recognize the author randomly writes Joe Martinez after calling him Martinez for most of the scene. You can't be this bad at doing the bare minimum of your job.
Anyways, here's some lowlights:
"Martinez hadn't left anything to chance." *1 page later* Nothing had been left to chance. Tell us one more time... was it left to chance or nah?
Rachel zoomed in on the security camera footage playing on the iPad so she could see what Bailey had written. She hugged with disappointment. The writing wasn't visibile due to the security camera angle and the poor quality of the grainy video. "A different CCTV camera got a shot of the message before Madison erased it." Martinez produced the photo. Bro why tf did you let her zoom in on the image and try to decipher that 400p image when you had the screenshot on deck? What was the point of all that?
He'd stopped writing mid-sentence when the guard turned back in his direction. Whatever he'd been trying to communicate to Madison was so sensitive that he hadn't wanted to risk it being overheard or recorded by a prison listening device. NO SHIITTT???? YOU DON'T SAY??? God I hate when authors think their readers are so brain dead that they need to over-explain something that is implicit.
He eats his lukewarm meal in the privacy of his car and listens to the latest news updates on the car radio while he devours the burrito and fries. You can't be dead as with this sentence? Again, editor, where the fuck art thou? Simple edit: He eats his lukewarm burrito and fries while listening to the car radio. Et voila!
"The visitor's sticker was issued to Maddison Logan," Martinez told Rachel. "You think that Maddison Logan is the missing camper," said Rachel, cottoning on. Here's your cookie for being the world's biggest dumbass.
"....They're trying to figure out how much of Maddison's freewheeling wanderlust lifestyle is fact and how much is fiction... It would be a fatal mistake to think that Maddison Logan is anything more than a carefully cultivated persona." *1 page later* "I'm fast coming to the conclusion that Maddison is not real... Maddison is an invention. She created a persona of a free-spirited travel blogger..." This is where I gave up....more
Lawd I only had 1 hr 11 mins left on the audiobook but I couldn't do it.
Do you like male-authored police procedurals? Do you like inappropriate commeLawd I only had 1 hr 11 mins left on the audiobook but I couldn't do it.
Do you like male-authored police procedurals? Do you like inappropriate comments that were the norm in the early 2000s? If yes, read this. If no, pick up some Cara Hunter, Louisa Scarr, Jo Spain, or Angela Marsons instead....more
Oh hey there! Listen to Novels & Nonsense Podcast episode 2: Goodreads & Bad Reads to hear me discuss this book and more. Can't wait to hear what you Oh hey there! Listen to Novels & Nonsense Podcast episode 2: Goodreads & Bad Reads to hear me discuss this book and more. Can't wait to hear what you think...more
Thank you Knopf and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review. IYKYK, my reviews are always honest.
WOW. After b2b 5-star reads... I stumThank you Knopf and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review. IYKYK, my reviews are always honest.
WOW. After b2b 5-star reads... I stumbled upon one of the most overwritten, melodramatic books I've read this year. Yes, even more melodramatic than The Last Housewife. It was so excruciatingly painful to read each sentence that I couldn't even enjoy a good ole hate reads and kikiki with some friends. Nah. Where TF was the editor??? Within 15% I had 30+ highlights and notes. That's when you know it's bad. And just so you're not like, oh this bish is being picky AGAIN, I'm going to share (some) of them with you. You're so welcome.
I really have to ask: who is this for? Apparently this is a literary thriller, but I can't see any ride or die literary fic or thriller readers bussin down with this. And it's too detailed and slow for the popcorn thriller audience. So... prisoners with no choice?? And another thing... second person pov is a BOLD choice. You're really assuming the reader is going to resonate with what you're saying. And using second person for a victim of kidnapping... even bolder. I found this annoying AF (shocker)
IGHT, let's get into it. Here are the quotes:
And he went ahead and died, because that's what chefs do—exist in a blur of heat and chaos onl to leave you to pick up the pieces. She's talking about her father who owned a mom and pop version of Perkins (ghetto Cracker Barrel) in a town where possums outnumber people 5:1.
"Thank you for that." Aidan Thomas looked up as if he had just noticed my presence. I wanted to catch my words, still hanging in the air between us, and swallow them back. You learn to hate the sound of your own voice at an early age, when you're a girl. WTF are you even talking about!? You're thanking an adult for fixing your dad's fridge. Stop with the woe is me crap.
It was nothing, it was everything. It was basic politeness and it was endless kindness. A halo of light landing on a hidden girl, plucking her out of the shadows, allowing her to be seen. He literally thanked her for a drink. Right after this, she writes:
Now I watch as Aidan Thomas is frozen mid-sip, gazing at me through his glass. I am no longer the hidden girl, waiting for men to cast a light on her. I am a woman who has just walked in a halo of her own making. This quite literally contradicts what you just said.
He reaches over. Something shifts. A disturbance in the world, tectonic plates bumping against each other, miles below the Hudson River." You can't be fking serious. The last three quotes were just from ONE page btw.
Bats zoom around in your brain. LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Soil swarming underneath your bare feet. Wut???
It's here, like it's been waiting for you. A black sky and dozens of stars. You keep marching, one step after another, as you let the sky drink you in. You and the darkness. You, the bottomless ocean, and the promise of tiny icebergs speckled around. You, black ink, brought to life by glimmers of white paint. She's just looking up at the sky?
To your right is another door. Blank. Bland. He takes out another key, inserts it in the lock at the center of the round doorknob, and turns it. Smooth, silent. So deadly agile, even in the dark. this is actually another level of closed caption ass writing with a heavy dose of melodrama.
The mattress sags like it's trying to swallow you. Like you'll keep sinking and sinking until there's nothing left, no trace of you on this earth, nothing to let people know you were ever here. She was literally just lying on a bed.
You bring both legs up onto the mattress, extend them, lower your torso, and let your head touch the pillow. I'm begging you to stop.
DNF @32%. I always give Nordic Noir a pass on the pace because the genre tends to be on the slower side. However, a third of the way through and for wDNF @32%. I always give Nordic Noir a pass on the pace because the genre tends to be on the slower side. However, a third of the way through and for what it lacked in insightfulness it made up for in an inane number of exclamation marks. I tried to Ray Charles it like the comma situation in Wrong Place, Wrong Time, but this plot was giving me absolutely nothing. At least WPWT had something unique popping off. This was just mundane descriptions of mundane activities. The last straw was this exchange:
"... But only for a day; then you're on your own!" "Thank you. You're a rock!" "Yeah, right. Bye!"
THREE EXCLAMATION MARKS IN A ROW!!!! And yes, I just used four at the end of that sentence. But I'm not publishing a book. You bet your butt cheeks that anything I publish at work is exclamation mark free. And no, that's not a typo... it said you're A rock. Is that a compliment in Denmark? If so, excuse my ignorance. ...more
bruh... I've read 20-ish pages of his other book The Girl Who Was Taken and it was juicy. But then I got distracted so I never finished it (I will retbruh... I've read 20-ish pages of his other book The Girl Who Was Taken and it was juicy. But then I got distracted so I never finished it (I will return one day). So when I saw his latest on NetGalley, of course I had to request. I mean ya'll know how I love my familicde so what could be better? Tbh anything.
This book felt like it was written 20 mins before his deadline with a gun to his head. Sloppy, shallow, stupid. There was so much potential if the author had slowed down and taken his time. The storyline was like a pair of designer sunglasses; fancy and chic but ultimately it's just plastic.
Also, I nearly broke my Kindle in half like a KitKat when homegirl was like "since living in England I've learned how to hear through the accents to understand the English beneath it." WUT??? Could this comment BE anymore American *Chandler voice.* Then she went on to muse how since travelling all over Europe she learned accents change depending on the country AND even the region within said country. Bruh. You didn't need to travel to Europe to learn this. Put a Southern boy and someone from the Bronx side-by-side and there ya go.
Anyways I don't often review my dnfs, but I had to warn ya'll. This was slapped together at best....more
Lit with Leigh
>
Books:
did-not-finish
(32)
Loading...
