“Grayson, this is over.” I hold up my hands. The ankle shackles slow his advance, but don’t stop him. “It’s never over.” He positions himself betwe“Grayson, this is over.” I hold up my hands. The ankle shackles slow his advance, but don’t stop him. “It’s never over.” He positions himself between the door and me. “For this to be over, one of us has to die.”
[image]
[image]
Have you ever heard about an amazing plan where so many different things can go wrong?
________________
The Plot I had so much hope for Born, Darkly and although the premise intrigued me, I was skeptical on how the author managed to pull a romance with a serial killer. After finishing I realized, to me... this really wasn't a romance.
It fell more along the lines of a psychological thriller, and it read like an episode of Criminal Minds rather than a New Adult novel. With that purpose in mind, it actually kept me quite interested, it held certain points of suspense that made me want to read on! However, this is supposed to be a romance and as much as I want to give this book any more stars... I really can't.
This is definitely not for the faint of heart.
"Decorative art hangs strategically at eye level to keep my high-paying clients from staring at the shackled criminals in the waiting room."
Trisha Wolfe put the D (pun intended) in Dark. Unfortunately, the D felt more like political philosophy rather than erotica.
Nothing really got me going, in hindsight - seeing all the amazing reviews for this. I feel like I'm the pickiest and stingiest person out here. It wasn't all that attractive, and being a pacifist - murderers and serial killers and people who take other peoples lives in general? Dry as the Sahara.
“No, I see myself as a hunter. They’re not victims; they’re predators stalking the woods in search of prey. If they fall into the hunter’s trap, then they were in a place they never should have been.”
[image]
The Romance
"No, I do not believe rehabilitation is achievable. Especially for the Bundys and Dahmers of the world."
I agree with this quote (taken from the book!) so much! Let me explain why....
Meet Grayson Sullivan He is our lead 'hero' in this story:
“My patient is the Angel of Maine. He kills ruthlessly. Without mercy, though his moniker suggests otherwise. And there’s not a bone in my body that can find fault with his logic. All his victims were deserving of punishment. And I identify with him, because I’m glad they’re dead.”
[image]
What they all have in common: They have all killed people. There is no scale in murder. Killing someone is killing someone.
This book set out to take the Robin Hood complex with it's romance, we saw the equally deranged and broken thought processes of both Grayson and London. It showed how Grayson was killing and torturing people that 'deserved' to be killed because they were killers, or rapists, or criminal themselves. This allowed Grayson to become a vigilante.
In all honesty, those criminals and sick rapists, and murderers probably deserved things worse than death. However, once Grayson chose to take the law onto himself and he himself, started killing and torturing people? He was no better.
There is no scale in murder. Killing someone is killing someone. Murder is NOT sexy, at least not to me.
"The rules of psychoanalysis are simple: there are no rules. In this safe haven, I can confess my excitement, my arousal at watching the woman be bound and racked until her limbs snapped. But I won’t admit that aloud. I refuse to give in to him."
The Writing I really enjoyed the writing in this story. The narration was a brilliant tone that created a chilling atmosphere. It's mood was perfect for the topics it dealt with. At times, the story could get confusing, but I learnt early that, that was the style of the flow and rhythm of the pace.
“I hate you,” I whisper. “You hate everything but me.”
It made me uncomfortable a lot of the time. The dialogue felt a bit robotic and monotone, but that was defeated by the over empowering monologue with both the characters. The structure of the book was also really cool. It was strategically orchestrated so that every little jigsaw piece the reader got, was put into place later on in the story. So hats off to the author for that!
The last handful of chapters threw me off completely! I did not see any of that coming and the twist had me at the edge of my seat. I wanted to give this two stars for all the points mentioned above, but I felt at the end of the day - It would be doing my beliefs an injustice.
I'm a massive fan of dark romance, and over the years I've read some pretty fucked up shit. I think the fact that we got a psychological and 'therapy' side to this story made things harder to deal with. Especially with everything going on in our world at the moment. With more and more girls coming out and saying they have been raped. With more murder cases and school shootings, I felt in the cultural context of things. I couldn't get myself to feel any empathy for their love.
“It’s a simple yin yang; dark and light feeding each side and devouring. A snake eating it’s own tail. A vicious cycle.”
Merged review:
“Grayson, this is over.” I hold up my hands. The ankle shackles slow his advance, but don’t stop him. “It’s never over.” He positions himself between the door and me. “For this to be over, one of us has to die.”
[image]
[image]
Have you ever heard about an amazing plan where so many different things can go wrong?
________________
The Plot I had so much hope for Born, Darkly and although the premise intrigued me, I was skeptical on how the author managed to pull a romance with a serial killer. After finishing I realized, to me... this really wasn't a romance.
It fell more along the lines of a psychological thriller, and it read like an episode of Criminal Minds rather than a New Adult novel. With that purpose in mind, it actually kept me quite interested, it held certain points of suspense that made me want to read on! However, this is supposed to be a romance and as much as I want to give this book any more stars... I really can't.
This is definitely not for the faint of heart.
"Decorative art hangs strategically at eye level to keep my high-paying clients from staring at the shackled criminals in the waiting room."
Trisha Wolfe put the D (pun intended) in Dark. Unfortunately, the D felt more like political philosophy rather than erotica.
Nothing really got me going, in hindsight - seeing all the amazing reviews for this. I feel like I'm the pickiest and stingiest person out here. It wasn't all that attractive, and being a pacifist - murderers and serial killers and people who take other peoples lives in general? Dry as the Sahara.
“No, I see myself as a hunter. They’re not victims; they’re predators stalking the woods in search of prey. If they fall into the hunter’s trap, then they were in a place they never should have been.”
[image]
The Romance
"No, I do not believe rehabilitation is achievable. Especially for the Bundys and Dahmers of the world."
I agree with this quote (taken from the book!) so much! Let me explain why....
Meet Grayson Sullivan He is our lead 'hero' in this story:
“My patient is the Angel of Maine. He kills ruthlessly. Without mercy, though his moniker suggests otherwise. And there’s not a bone in my body that can find fault with his logic. All his victims were deserving of punishment. And I identify with him, because I’m glad they’re dead.”
[image]
What they all have in common: They have all killed people. There is no scale in murder. Killing someone is killing someone.
This book set out to take the Robin Hood complex with it's romance, we saw the equally deranged and broken thought processes of both Grayson and London. It showed how Grayson was killing and torturing people that 'deserved' to be killed because they were killers, or rapists, or criminal themselves. This allowed Grayson to become a vigilante.
In all honesty, those criminals and sick rapists, and murderers probably deserved things worse than death. However, once Grayson chose to take the law onto himself and he himself, started killing and torturing people? He was no better.
There is no scale in murder. Killing someone is killing someone. Murder is NOT sexy, at least not to me.
"The rules of psychoanalysis are simple: there are no rules. In this safe haven, I can confess my excitement, my arousal at watching the woman be bound and racked until her limbs snapped. But I won’t admit that aloud. I refuse to give in to him."
The Writing I really enjoyed the writing in this story. The narration was a brilliant tone that created a chilling atmosphere. It's mood was perfect for the topics it dealt with. At times, the story could get confusing, but I learnt early that, that was the style of the flow and rhythm of the pace.
“I hate you,” I whisper. “You hate everything but me.”
It made me uncomfortable a lot of the time. The dialogue felt a bit robotic and monotone, but that was defeated by the over empowering monologue with both the characters. The structure of the book was also really cool. It was strategically orchestrated so that every little jigsaw piece the reader got, was put into place later on in the story. So hats off to the author for that!
The last handful of chapters threw me off completely! I did not see any of that coming and the twist had me at the edge of my seat. I wanted to give this two stars for all the points mentioned above, but I felt at the end of the day - It would be doing my beliefs an injustice.
I'm a massive fan of dark romance, and over the years I've read some pretty fucked up shit. I think the fact that we got a psychological and 'therapy' side to this story made things harder to deal with. Especially with everything going on in our world at the moment. With more and more girls coming out and saying they have been raped. With more murder cases and school shootings, I felt in the cultural context of things. I couldn't get myself to feel any empathy for their love.
“It’s a simple yin yang; dark and light feeding each side and devouring. A snake eating it’s own tail. A vicious cycle.”
Let me tell you about my favourite NA fantasy book of 2019. _______"It doesn’t end in death. It ends in hope."
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Let me tell you about my favourite NA fantasy book of 2019. _______________
A Story About A Witch Getting Hitched But Much More. Serpent and Dove stole my heart in so many ways and all I want to do is go back and read it all over again. This lush tale full of magic and intrigue is wildly imaginative but soft at the same time and if you're a fan of romance + fantasy, I highly recommend trying this!
The sales pitch; - enemies to lovers - kickass heroines - lovable side characters (ansel is the floofliest cinnamon roll) - THE ONE BED TROPE™ - witches and witchhunters - one badass song about a lady named Big Titty Liddy.
“I know if you aren’t swearing or singing about well-endowed barmaids, something is wrong.”
I honestly inhaled this and if it weren't for actually having to adult, I would have finished it in one sitting. Before I get into the crooks of my review, let's meet our two main characters;
Lou: [image]
Reid: [image]
If there's one thing about this book that completely sold me was the fact that I loved so many characters. Especially these two! The characters in this book had me crying, laughing and turning every page like an addict. Lou stayed true to herself throughout the entire book and was never sorry for being a badass female! I enjoyed her company right from the beginning and it was such a journey to watch her story unfold. Enter Reid... Reid was the horniest mess all encapsulated within the perfect gentleman. He was everything, to be honest. For all those people that mentioned their dynamic is so similar to Nina and Matthias from Six of Crows... you're absolutely right.
“You really think I could knock two fully grown men unconscious?” My husband’s reply came instantaneously. “Yes.”
Their banter was off the charts, and their chemistry practically flew off the page. Because this book was told in dual POV's, I thought it was going to be a problem to distinguish two separate voices, but that was not the case. Both these characters had such a wonderful character development throughout the story and even better, was seeing them grow together. I do have to say that this is completely a New Adult book, and not a YA. Reid and Lou definielty get hot and heavy ;)
“When you weren’t in bed, I thought maybe—maybe you’d—” “Left?” I said shrewdly. “It’s still on the agenda.”
For those who know my reviews, you know that I often fall into the overhype trap. I get very excited about books that have very high ratings and come in highly recommended, but then end up disappointed. I think I've finally found the winner, folks. The world-building (a lavish french renaissance-esque setting with a hub full of of illegal magic, a pleasure house with a mysterious lady, and the men of the church) was fantastic, and embedded within the story rather than separated by info-dumps. There were so many plot twists and character arcs that I was invested in more than just the romance between Reid and Lou, the story itself was fan-fucking-tastic. Truly such a magnificent debut! It was so easy to love this book.
“Can you put something on?” He waved a hand in my direction, the other firmly pressed against his eyes. “I can’t talk to you when you’re sitting there—sitting there—” “Naked?” His teeth clamped together with an audible snap. “Yes.”
I didn't want this story to end to put it plainly. I loved it so much that I'm just going to ignore the randomness of the last couple of chapters (hehe). One shoutout that I would also like to mention is the fact that this book had LGBT characters but didn't make it a big deal or put any spotlight on them. It was briefly mentioned as a passing comment that Coco had female lovers and then when the fucking Prince of the kingdom all but asked if Reid and Lou wanted to join Coco and him on a sexcapade??! Hell yes to queer characters that don't have "being queer" as their major character trait.
"Every minute you’re alive is a second chance to start over. I honor my past, but I don’t live in it. I choose this moment instead. Right here." "Every minute you’re alive is a second chance to start over. I honor my past, but I don’t live in it. I choose this moment instead. Right here."
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Siri, how do I put my heart back together after Emma Scott so elegantly broke it in two? [image] _______________
I'm not crying, you're crying.
This book. This. heartbreakingly. beautiful. book. Emma Scott achieved the impossible with this book.
I want this book to be in every high school library. I want this book handed out at Pride. I want this book to be read by every single person that thinks that they're alone in love.
This book is ugly. It's heavy and more times than not, you feel like you can't carry it. It's tough to chew and harder to swallow. It made me wince and cringe and I had to put my kindle away many many times. But this book is necessary. It took many different forms of hate and showed how there is only one universal form of love.
Emma Scott will always be one of my favourite authors. This book is no exception and only deepened my love for her writing and aptitude for storytelling. Except, with this book - it wasn't really a story because the things that happen in this book are still happening. Someday, Someday deals with the plight of love. It deals with Max Kaufman who was thrown out of his house by his family for being found with a boy. Then, Silas Marsh who at a very young age was sent to sexuality conversion therapy where he was tortured and terrorized. It portrays the destructive and futile values of homophobia whilst dealing with people who are undergoing immense mental battles. It shows how Max and Silas find each other as recovering drug addicts but mostly, how they find themselves through each other.
So yes. Whatever you're imagining when I say that this book is heavy and deals with topics that are necessary, double it.
"Don’t let go. Hold on and you’ll be safe. Let go and you’ll never be the same again."
I think this was the toughest out of all Emma's books that I have read. So many times during reading, I found myself sobbing. Because through all the animosity, hatred and trauma within this book, it is nothing if not a story of forgiveness. I struggled with this book a lot, in all honesty. It's very hard to focus on a love story, a romance between two people who have such tragic histories. The narrative we were given was not light in any way and then we got these screenshots of Max and Silas slowly falling in love. But by then end, I realized that, that was the entire point.
It goes to say that I'm only a reader, and a very small drop in the ocean that is Emma's Entourage but I am so, so fucking proud of Emma Scott because of this book.
Someday, Someday is a heart-wrenching tour de force that steals the air right from your lungs. It's ambitiously driven by hope and after hurting you and ripping you apart, it builds you back up again. I'm proud of Emma because no matter how painful and upsetting Silas and Max's story was, she refused to make it pretty, because that wouldn't be the truth. That's why it's her most beautiful book to date.
My heart hurt for so many people (Eddie deserves nothing more than a hug and the best life). My only slight problem was that I found some things (mostly dialogue) to be jarring and occasionally insensitive. Although the story started off somewhat slow, I was captivated a third way in and then it became unputdownable. I can so safely say though that Emma writes the stories that I wish I had the chance to experience for the first time, every time I re-read them.
“Strip, Little Bird. Show us what you’ve got,” King whispers, just as he shoves me back to my feet. “Dance like you fuck. Like exactly how you tast“Strip, Little Bird. Show us what you’ve got,” King whispers, just as he shoves me back to my feet. “Dance like you fuck. Like exactly how you taste.”
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Amo Jones didn't come to fucking play, fellas. _______________
Ever wonder what would happen if Cirque Du Soleil went rogue and ended in an orgy? In Peace Lies Havoc was a thrill-ride amongst many other rides, pun very much intended. It was addicting and full of angst that had me on the very edge... again, pun very much intended. The story was dark and gritty and never had me losing interest.
Before I start my review, I should probably mention that Amo Jones books are not for everyone. They weren't for me either until I tried this book on a whim because I am a die-hard fan of the circus-romance trope. I read a book by her last year that just did not sit right with me. I still hold strong to the points I made in that review but this just went to show me that surprises do really happen. Part of my reluctance to often try authors that I have had bad experiences with, again is the fact that I alike many others, loathe writing negative reviews. Because who really, wants to sit down and write all the things you felt were personally wrong with something?
I was so captivated by this book, it was almost dramatically ironic. Almost.
"I stopped breathing when I felt him behind me, his breathing on my nape. “We’ll be back for you, Little Bird.” The Shadow pressed into me from behind, his hard chest to my back. “I’ll always be back.”
I don't want to give a summary or a blurb to what this book is about because to be quite honest, I still don't know. It's a clusterfuck of emotions and stories that are so bizarre, you might actually believe them. I think I'm quite scared of Jones' mind because if she managed to whip up this story, who knows what else she's capable of?
I mean... this was a dark "captivity" romance set around a travelling sexual performance company had characters that made me want to hide. Then there was the mind games, angst games, murders, gangs/mobs, plot twists, stockholm syndrome (if you can call it that) and a seriously underrated trailer driver. Oh, and let's not forget this little nugget;
“Heads, I suck your pussy until you scream, to show this fool how a real man fucks. Or tails, I cut off each of your fingers and fuck you with them. Both will have you screamin’, baby. So, what will it be?”
* Cue the nervous laughter *
This wasn't perfect, I definitely found myself getting frustrated with some plotholes and annoyed at some of the events that unfolded. I wanted Dove to fight back harder and not be so oblivious, but then we might not have our story...Overall I was so hooked. The Brothers of Kiznitch are psychopathic and deliriously yummy even though they shouldn't be. If you're a fan of dark romance and haven't already read this gem, trust me... you won't regret it.
Also just a note: I need Kohen's story. I need Val and Rose to get together and kill all that sexual tension already. Kyrin and Kenan make my heart melt and we only got a second of them.
"Intimacy is just like murder; they both make your heart race and your palms sweat while leaving your thoughts in disarray, but then when you’re done, you’re left with the remnants of someone else’s soul or blood on your hands."
Amo Jones doesn't make any stops with this book. It's a rollercoaster from start to finish and I was left with my mouth hanging open, not knowing what the everloving fuck I just read. I'm kinda still speechless, don't let the review fool you.
“Can you please stop being so beautiful and real and alive all over my house like you own it or something?”
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I finished this in a d“Can you please stop being so beautiful and real and alive all over my house like you own it or something?”
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I finished this in a day and now the bags under my eyes are Gucci.
_______________
A Note From Alex (after reading all the notes in this book, especially the chocolate one).
Whenever I finish a book, Goodreads (my number one cheerleader) always sends me an email telling me that I have actually finished the book (as if I didn't know it myself, you'd think). But this time when GR sent me this;
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I felt like Goodreads just knew (call it kismet) that this book and I are undergoing some challenges. Initially, I gave this four stars but upon looking back, I'm sticking with my 3 star rating. This is honestly the hardest rating I have ever had to debate. Because, if I'm being honest with myself... I probably enjoyed this a lot but I know that I shouldn't have.
Here's the thing. This book was fucking addicting. I burned lasagna while reading this book... I didn't hear the oven ding and then my lasagna burnt. So in order to truly know this book's rating for me; I'm asking myself now: "What it worth burning the lasagna, Alex? Was it worth having to scrape all that cheesy goodness into the bin and feel immense guilt whilst doing so?"
Here's the dilemma. During the time, yes. It was very worth it. Now? Not so much.
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In The Unlikely Event is something so different to what Shen normally puts out that I couldn't help but pick it up. It's not really a "christmas" romance, but it's a winter one. We follow Mal and Rory's story of love, loss and heartbreak. It was comical and didn't take itself seriously at all, and I loved it even more because of that. It was hot, captivating and so nail-bitingly, page turningly addictive that I really didn't get much sleep.
I loved the different narratives and I found myself laughing out loud during some moments. That is also to say though, that this book is not all comedy. It deals with really sensitive issues and in true LJ fashion, the angst is so unbearably thick, it's better than any soap opera or reality TV show I've ever watched. It's also safe to say, that I unfortunately can no longer look at chocolate the same way. This is not a bad or a good thing. Just different.
The banter between Rory and Mal was probably my favourite aspect of this book. Also, if there is any one romance writer that can take the same trope (enemies to lovers) in all her books but still manage to keep me captivated... it's this one. I rooted for so many different people in this book and although it drained me when I came to the end chapter, I felt like I went on a really long holiday.
"Want to know if you love someone? Watch them suffer and see how much it tears you apart."
But then why do I also feel like I wasted such a great (it was mediocre, I fuck up cereal on my best days), awesomely-dished lasagna? For one thing, it's always heartbreaking when you have to compost carbs. But, for reasons more suited to this review; this book frustrated the fucking lights out of me.
Yes, we already know that Shen writes up the most problematic, toxic and dysfunctional relationships but still manages to make you hooked over wanting to know what happens. I knew this going in, I came prepped for the assholes and the triggers. Just to let you know, the hero in this book is manipulative, conniving and so rude for a good part of the book. The heroine is also frustratingly juvenile and oblivious to so much. Half the time, I wished Rory would have just demanded to understand what was going on. Regardless, Rory and Mal end up being sickly cute and this book definitely amped up the steam.
But I'm going to lay some other things out. Spoilers Ahead
❄︎ The relationship in this book is based on insta-love. This usually never works for me but I looked past it in this book. ❄︎ The amount of miscommunication in this book could give an airline company's customer service rep a run for their fucking money. ❄︎ If LJ Shen ever writes a book with 100% women supporting women, I might actually slip into a coma. There is so much animosity between female relationships in this book that just hurt my heart immensely. ❄︎ Something that would have been so mindblowingly unique is if the topic of "loving someone whilst being in a relationship" was tackled with no cheating involved. It was so obvious that I actually thought that no one would cheat in this book. I was so wrong. ❄︎ Another thing I really wished for was for Callum (Rory's boyfriend) not to be villainized in order to cop out of the relationship. I cant stress this enough but breaking up with someone because you don't have feelings for them anymore is a very valid reason. I wish authors didn't villainize the significant other in order to "make up" for the fact that they are being broken up with because suddenly if they're not the best person, then it's okay for the MC to move on and be with someone else. ❄︎ This last one is probably the most important one. There is a rape scene in this book, and I won't put this section under a "hide spoiler" thing because this is an important trigger warning to anyone that is going to read this book. I wish it was given as a caveat in the book itself but *sigh.* The rape scene in this book needed to be dealt with so much more care and importance, rather than just being an event that occurs in the storyline.
Through all those problems... I still soldiered on. LJ Shen is really truly my biggest guilty pleasure. I know that all of the tropes and aspects of her books are so fucking problematic and controversial, but I still read this like a fanatic. This book is far from perfect but I swallowed it entirely....more
This was really cute and had great writing but unfortunately fell flat towards the end for me...I really enjoyed the plot and the cutesy relationship This was really cute and had great writing but unfortunately fell flat towards the end for me...I really enjoyed the plot and the cutesy relationship between the two main characters but I just wished for more the entire time!...more
This was a great quick read that I gobbled up during my flight! Although the trope was unique, the plot felt to be too cliche and having read and loveThis was a great quick read that I gobbled up during my flight! Although the trope was unique, the plot felt to be too cliche and having read and loved A Lesson In Thorns by Sierra Simone, this definitely felt like it lacked a lot of substance. There were also some lines of dialogue that really bothered me :/...more
If books were dresses, Colleen Hoover comes out with the ones WITH pockets!!! ___“I’ve only ever wanted to be with you.”
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If books were dresses, Colleen Hoover comes out with the ones WITH pockets!!! _______________
A Story You Won't Regret Every single time I pick up a CoHo book, I get pulled into such a distinct feeling. It's a nostalgic, hopeful, smiling-through-the-tears feeling that I can never find elsewhere. Regretting You exceeded my expectations and completely annihilated me. There is so much to be said of how well-crafted and beautiful this book was and I don't even know where to begin...
"Sometimes when we’re alone, he looks at me in a way that makes me feel empty when he looks away."
Let me start by suggesting that you should read this book with no prior knowledge of what the story entails. This is why this review is going to be spoiler-free, because that is honestly the only way you get to experience all the shocking and heartfelt moments for what they truly are.
Morgan and Clara's story are both so different but the way they weave together is flawless. Colleen Hoover always writes more than just a simple boy meets girl romance book. The main aspect of this book that I loved was the way Morgan and Clara loved and struggled with each other. This book could be read by a father, a mother and a daughter - it has a different tale to tell for each I think. Her writing is exceptional in this especially because she dealt with two completely different characters undergoing two completely different story arcs and developments. I could clearly distinguish between the voices and the separate accounts of grief.
“Dinner is ready. Go tell them before he gets her pregnant.”
You always get a mixture of humor, love and loss with CoHo books and this did not fail to go above and beyond that. Also, I do think this can be placed on the boundary of YA and NA. (I'd personally agree with the YA Contemporary rating).At first, I worried that I wouldnt be able to appreciate the romance stories within this book because I was too invested in the actual plot of the family, but I could not have been more wrong. The romance in this made my heart pitter-patter just like a CoHo book always does. I swear, Colleen outdoes herself every year.
It's weird writing this review because I usually have to go through pages and pages of highlights and notes that I made so that I can end up with a clear and succinct review to express my thoughts but I had close to no notes/highlights for Regretting You. That's how unputdownable this was. I was a 4 am in the morning type of crazy when I realized I had finished 80% of the book in less than a day. That's the worst kind of obsession with CoHo books, you end up reeling because you just swallowed the entire story up and now you're left having to wait for the next time she decides to grace us with a novel.
“I didn’t think our first kiss would be like that,” he says quietly. “Like what?” “Sweet.” “How did you think it would be?” His eyes wander to the few remaining customers still lingering. “I can’t show you in here.”
I absolutely loved this and my adoration of how this woman can take a story and make a masterpiece never fails to leave me stunned. ...more
“You know what happens when a thirty-four-year-old man watches a sixteen-year-old girl?” “But I’m not… I’m not sixteen anymore.”
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[image]“You know what happens when a thirty-four-year-old man watches a sixteen-year-old girl?” “But I’m not… I’m not sixteen anymore.”
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[image] *sigh* I guess I needed time to absorb this story as well as the level of disappointment I felt while reading DO18. This story had so much potential and I honestly could not have been more excited. Saffron Kent has written one of my all time favourite romances, Medicine Man and I always do a little dance whenever she comes out with new material. This one fell very short for me.
[image] _______________
Hit or Miss Right so, I guess I can say with some certainty that Kent's books and I have a love-hate relationship. I guess my main issue with DO18 is the fact that I had so much hope for it! This author can do a lot of things with smut and often her books will call for the holiest holy water, but I was so stuck on the issues within this book that I couldn't even enjoy that.
Everything felt way too rushed and underdeveloped. I started feeling this from the second chapter. The writing was watered down and the random bursts of purple prose would give me a sense of whiplash. It was like someone randomly yelled at the author to be "more deep" in the middle of random scenes. There's something to be said though, about the tension that this book derives because I definitely wanted to keep reading, even though I wasn't necessarily adoring what I was reading. (Does that even make sense, Alex?) I only wish that there was something more unique to this book, rather than just "this happened, then that happened, then we lived happily ever after." I wanted to be more invested with the story itself and the characters.
"You can eat me up all you want. You can eat me up a hundred different ways. I’m gonna like your teeth and your tongue and I’m gonna fall in love with the sting of it all. You’re my Strawberry Man. At least, that’s what I call you in my head.”
The Romance Age-gap romances can really go one of two ways. I actually think Kent handled this aspect pretty well. I had more issues with the amount of cringey one-liners and cliche "he's just such a man" statements that I got bored. Which is the crux of my rating, there was nothing of substance that I held onto. I wasn't drawn to Violet or Mr. Edwards, so I wasn't really invested in their romance. The first part of the story definitely captivated me more than the second half, if only for the reason that there was something between Violet and Graham that left me wanting more. This seemed to lose itself as the story progressed.
DO18 is also packed full of angst, which is not always a bad thing. Although, I feel like it was mostly "telling" me about how it's angsty, instead of making me feel the angst. This seemed to regress during the latter part of the book. Soon, I just felt like I was in a very mundane story that wanted to be taboo, instead of yknow actually being taboo.
I also seriously struggled with the way Violet's mental health was approached. I wanted her to push through the spiralling thoughts and stand her ground for some things but the story was bordering "magic dick syndrome," and it made me feel very uncomfortable. There were also some scenes that just did not sit right at all. Specifically, there was a scene in the start of the book where Graham asks (a drunk) Violet quite explicitly to step away from his personal space, but she refuses and go aheads and kisses him instead. I kept thinking, if the situation was reversed and a lady was asking a man to move away from her... it would be absolutely disgusting so why shouldn't this be seen as the same?
“Mr. Edwards?” “Step. The fuck. Away.” There’s a warning in his tone. An urgency, even. Or maybe it’s me. I’m the one filled with all the urgency that this is my only chance. The only chance to know how it feels. I keep watching his mouth. “It’s my birthday.” “Go. Home.”
Overall, I feel like this story had so much potential and having loved Kent's novel's in the past... I was just very severely disappointed. I"m not losing hope because I know I trust Saffron's writing style and plot devices, this one just didn't hit a lot of the marks....more
“There are notes that go together. Play them alone and they’re fine, but play them together and it makes music. No matter the instrument or what pa“There are notes that go together. Play them alone and they’re fine, but play them together and it makes music. No matter the instrument or what part of the world you’re in, they’re linked by a chord. That’s us. We were waiting for the moment the world put us together. I can’t unhear us now.”
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[image] This multilayered book packed so many punches and heartbreaks...I prepared for a simple camping trip but I was hit by a fucking whirlwind.
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The Story This review has taken me a good five days to think over because I couldn't seem to come up with a rating or a cohesive string of thoughts that could help people before or after they pick this book up.
I think that's the true beauty of Pretty Scars... it's such a dark-veiled and gritty story that it's almost too real for comfort. But that uncomfortable feeling falling into a narrative that truthfully, has such little light magnifies how bright those little lights are. I wouldn't characterize this as a love story, fight me. This to me, was a story of hope.
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Before you start second-guessing, yes there is romance! In fact, what drew me into the world at the start was the chemistry between Carrie and Gabriel. Carrie has what she calls pretty-girl-syndrome, wherein, her beauty is her power but also her curse. (Yes, this is a very materialistic and cliche plotline but stay with me.) Carrie is also a Drazen, a family that for all intents and purposes should make your blood crawl. Declan Drazen (the father) is somewhat a mogul for all the wrong reasons. We meet Gabriel and Carrie when they both attend USC, and the sparks fly almost immediately when Carrie listens to Gabriel playing his violin.
"When she smiled, the sun hit its highest point in the sky."
The story jumps from present to past and we see the mystery behind the love unfold in very cleverly constructed manner. The time jumps took a while to adapt to but once I got the hang of it, I really enjoyed watching the story come to life. There were scenes in this book that completely blew me away! The fear, longing, desire and everything in between was so heavily built that it felt like I was there with the character's themselves.
"Maybe Gabriel and I were linked in a way so small yet grand only music could activate it. His playing touched me, his presence shook me. He couldn’t stay away. The laws of physics demanded he call me."
Although this book teeters on a 3 -4 star rating, it truly lies somewhere in the middle for me. There was a lot that I loved but there were also some aspects that I didn't quite enjoy. One thing that I can say for sure though is C. D Reiss' writing is so elegantly beautiful and simple, that it completely stole the show.
"With him, I didn’t feel pretty. I felt complete."
The Characters
Here were some of the issues I faced; Carrie's character fell flat during the beginning of the story. I felt like I wanted more from her in a deeper way to get me attached. She was really the only one I was rooting for, so I feel like it's safe for me to want more. Towards the end, I ended up sympathizing with her plight. It was so cleverly built that just as she lost herself in the past, we get to see her finding herself in the present.
Here's another little issue;
Did I like Gabriel? No Did I like Carrie? Not really Did I like Peter? N(and I can't stress this enough)O!!!
I'd like to imagine that the purpose of this book was to end up not liking both Peter and Gabriel, but that's just wishful thinking. Sure, Gabriel was hands-down a hero compared to Peter but something about him still didn't sit right with me. It was like having your favourite type of tea but still feeling the leafy residue in between your teeth afterwards. (Weird analogy, let's move on...)
I need something light after this book, there was so much to be unpacked and thought of that I really do hope this gets a lot of recognition. I will most definitely be reading more of this author in the future and after having done some research, I look forward to diving back into the Drazen world. There is definitely something to be said about a book that can make you both love and hate it all in the time-span of the 3 days it took me to complete it. It was mesmerizing and oh-so captivating. The story really cuts deeper than a knife and half the time, I didn't know if I wanted to put it down or never stop reading.
"Why was it so hard to walk away? It was as if there was a string between us, and every step pulled it tighter. How far could we go without snapping it?"
“No offense, sir, but one of your daughters is entirely too young for me, and the other is entirely too Daria for me.”
[image] [image] [image] [ima“No offense, sir, but one of your daughters is entirely too young for me, and the other is entirely too Daria for me.”
[image] [image] [image] [image] Is this happening? Can it be? Did Alex just rate an L.J Shen book more than 3 stars? Did Alex just actually enjoy the everloving shit out of this problematic as fuck book? *Owen Wilson voice* WooOOWwW _______________
Explain yourself, Alex
So in the past, Ms. Shen and I have not gelled well together. I find her books very heavily controversial and are often filled with many tropes and triggers that I just can't get past. Her male heroes are often assholes known for how awful they can treat their girls, but somehow it works for people. It never really did for me, until this pretty little storm made its way into my hands.
"He gave me the rarest thing in the world, and I gave him heartache."
Don't be mistaken, Pretty Reckless still has asshole leads, both of them (Daria and Penn) treat each other like shit for the most part of the book and the writing, although enjoyable still has plenty of triggers. Somehow, someway, I still really enjoyed this! I loved the banter between the group of friends and I flew through this very fast. I was so scared to pick it up but once I did, I was completely captivated. I love enemies-to-lovers but bully romances can be very hit or miss depending how the subject is treated, and in all honesty - I felt like Daria held up her own in this very well! Granted, it was because she too, was a bully but semantics, amiright??
“Mess with me, Followhill, and I will ruin you.” “Not if I ruin you first.”
This was angsty and gritty all through and every chapter had me at the edge. The plot-twists weren't shockers but I really didn't mind because I fell in love with each broken character. The character development was so subtly and beautifully done, I didn't even know I was falling for them until I finished and realized that I had. L.J Shen took my breath away with this one, simply for the fact that she can write up the tragic tales of highschool seniors that hits all the feels. It was so very addicting... I haven't read the Sinners of Saint series so I don't know the backstory of the parents in the All Saints series, but this book really made me want to pick it up.
"You are the fucking equation, I want to yell in her face. The riddle and the answer and the numbers within it. You’re math. You make sense. “Don’t go,” I croak. "
This book reminded me of the show, Euphoria. So if you're into that and want something in between waiting for Season Two, here's your little golden nugget! Another thing that I really want to draw attention to is the fact that this book is advertised as YA (Young Adult), when it is seriously not! It is definitely NA (New Adult) with all the steamy and graphic scenes you could expect in one. Which brings me to the fact that this is an absolute panty-dropper, folks. If it's not entertaining you, making your heart ache or asking you to pull your hair out - it's being the book equivalent of a sauna. If you haven't already read this (which is highly unlikely, I just live under my safe rock) and you're a fan of "hate to love you, love to hate you scenes," then you're going to devour this book. I know I certainly did.
"Because I want to kill Daria. Daria made everything fade into the background the first time I saw her, and while I was busy admiring, everything around us burned."
“If I could rearrange the world for you, I would,” he says. “I’d rearrange everything.”
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[image] Stepping into Thornchapel is like being“If I could rearrange the world for you, I would,” he says. “I’d rearrange everything.”
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[image] Stepping into Thornchapel is like being blindfolded on a rollercoaster. You never know when your inching up and nearing the edge... and then all of a sudden your stomach drops, your heart is light and you're descending at rapid speed. Then, everything seems fine but you really have no idea what else is in store for you.
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Feast of Sparks It's hard not to call this series captivating... Akin to its predecessor, FOS completely consumes you from start to finish. It is erotica with grit and edge. A storyline that slowly hypnotizes you and characters that will make your heart swoon. When I started reading the first couple of chapters, I had to physically break myself away from the text and slow down just so I could draw out every page. The sensuality and carnality of the plot is something so unique to this series and I stand by my statement that the storyline is just as worthwhile as the erotica.
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FOS begins almost exactly where ALIT ended but now we also get to see the history behind Auden and St. Sebastian's conflict. The change in POV was refreshing and Saint now owns a large section of my heart. Sierra Simone definitely does not disappoint with her kinky, depraved and wickedly delicious scenes between Saint, Auden and Poe but I do have to say the monologue and character development I got to experience with Saint's storyline was breathtaking. In short; the longing in this book will drive you insane.
"We are born to burn.”
The Ensemble I have been chomping at the bit waiting for this release ever since I finished A Lesson in Thorns and while I can happily say that Sierra Simone delivered, there were quite a few problems I faced during the latter end of the novel. BUT before all of that, let me try and sell you on this series.
Firstly, it's not for everyone. In fact, I'd say it's for a very select few that probably enjoy getting absolutely obliterated by a story about a group of six champagne-drinking, ritual-fucking, angst-driven, orgytastic adults. Whilst ALIT followed the groups initial curiosity towards their parents tragic backstories and all the magical / erotic behaviorisms of Thornchapel... FOS shows a significant level of maturity. It was like drinking a much finer wine. We see a distinct change in group dynamic and the characters have now begun to know exactly what they want.
"This is just a bonfire we spent too long making, and this is just a circle of old lanterns that we found in Thornchapel’s attic. These are just my friends—my fussy, hilarious, prickly, pretty friends—and I’m just me. I’m not a bride, I’m not a May Queen. I’m just a librarian who likes to be spanked."
Secondly, this book ends in a cliffhanger (I can't make my mind up on what I think about the cliffhanger in this one). The next book is expected to be published in early 2020. However, the plot is such that it follows a continuous timeline and I don't expect the third book will have any time jumps - it will most likely be like this one and start where the previous book left off. It's definitely a commitment but it's one that I have no regrets in following through on.
Sierra Simone (as always) has the musings of a kinky philosopher and it works beautifully with the atmosphere and setting of Thornchapel. The wonderful descriptions and monologues were just as engrossing as the first novel. The tinge of magic in the air and the slight feeling that something paranormal is encircling the events that unfold during the book is still wonderfully written.
"Maybe Thornchapel is a magic place, but it isn’t a safe place."
The Story The start of this book was a solid 5 stars but towards the last quarter it fell to about 3-3.5 stars. This was solely due to the fact that a handful of things were starting to become more apparent to me during the time I was near the end. For the most part, I struggled to ration with Poe's desperation in this book. Understandably, something massive happens in her storyline that affects her throughout FOS, yet I wish we got more of her thoughts and identity like we did the first book.
"I am the girl who kneels at night. I am the bride by thorns."
It was hard not to compare FOS to ALIT, but I feel like a lot of what was happening began to be repetitive. The inner conflict with some of the characters felt a bit drawn out and unrealistic at times with all the grand gestures and statements. Which brings me to the random info-dumps at concentrated parts of the book. I wish the information we got on the rituals and the history of Thornchapel unfurled throughout the book rather than in selectively condensed chapters.
Leaving behind all those little things, I really did enjoy this sequel to a series that I think I will always love. I look forward to the third book and seeing the mysteries of Thornchapel unravel :)
"Keep me any way you want, I want to tell him. Just so long as you keep me close."
“The realization that everyone right now is probably throbbing with the need to come shivers over me, and I have a brief fantasy of all of them—eve“The realization that everyone right now is probably throbbing with the need to come shivers over me, and I have a brief fantasy of all of them—every last one of them—using my body to sate themselves with. My mouth and my tight cunt and everything, until every last person is spent and loose.”
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[image] Ms. Simone, you filthy, dirty, brilliant woman...
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After several cold showers... I don't really know where to even begin with this beautifully screwed up story. This was so enrapturing and stunningly sexy, to the point where I can't even begin to tell you what it's about. *sigh* I didn't know the premise of the story when I started and I enjoyed it even more because of it. Just trust that you should go into this blind, and open your mind to all the foul and dirty creations that Sierra Simone very magically devises.
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There are certain trigger warnings that the author posted during the cover reveal that is perhaps all you need to know: "CONTENT WARNING: pretty boys pouting and staring at the rain, old library filled to the brim with moldering manuscripts full of secrets, aggressively bisexual, ritual deflowering of virgins, kink, angst, blood, jealousy, archival minutiae, Latin words, tragic backstories, murder, Prosecco, and a dog"
But if you're like me, those would have only intrigued you even further. As soon as I started reading this, the atmosphere was enchanting. It almost felt like there was a sense of magical element, a paranormal asset to the setting. Thornchapel is a place, but also a feeling and you can really understand it through the writing. Which brings in how vivid and alluring the writing itself was. I loved the prose and the imagery that was given on every single page, with every single line.
“I bloom like a rose when I’m handled like a weed”
This is going to sound so fucking weird, but if you read YA; this almost gave me Raven Cycle vibes. Like a disturbed, erotic, adult version of the Raven Cycle. We had the whole crew and the mystery and history repeating itself, and slightly magical air.
“You don’t pick up on the vibe here? Like this whole place is cloistered in a strange, timeless little bubble? Like a Sarah Waters novel but with pizza delivery?”
There were so many plot twists that I never saw coming, and I began to realize that expect the unexpected works so perfectly with this book. I loved every single character and all the dynamics between them, the interwoven relationships, the sexual tension. EVERYTHING! It was so hauntingly memorable, and I'm itching to get my hands on book 2. I need more of Thornchapel and Rebecca and Delphine. I need more angst between Saint, Poe and Auden. And damn, if I don't need me some more Becket and Sir James!!! My cute lil gang of horny, kinky adults and their dog.
“Thornchapel waited. And in a clearing in the woods, in a church ruined by thorns and time, something stirred. Something called all six of them by name."
The Dirty Laundry I've devised a naughty scale for this book:
1: blushing in public. 2: closing the kindle and waiting to get home because there is no way people won't know what your dirty little mind is up to. 3: panty dropper 4: no need to even wear garments anymore, take the day off work and just... read... ;)
If you read this book and enjoy all senses of depravity, you will be somewhere along this scale. (Hopefully)
I can’t tell. And I can’t tell who can see what, but I do know that it’s a forcefully erotic idea. That if they wanted, my friends could see my cunt. Maybe they could pet it, maybe they could lean down and kiss it to make it feel better. I could almost cry with how much I want that.
In all honesty, I feel like "erotic" is an understatement. But yes, this book was all sorts of erotic but it was erotica with a fucking interesting storyline. I find it really hard to enjoy 100% erotica because there is often no plot or character development. This had all the wet dreams you could ask for but also had me rooting for the characters? turning pages to find out about the certain mysteries of thornchapel? wanting to slip into a coma till the sequel comes out in summer? yes....more
“It sounds dangerous.” This makes him laugh. “Dangerous, like we’d end up either naked or dead?”
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[image] This was such a cute rom-com fille“It sounds dangerous.” This makes him laugh. “Dangerous, like we’d end up either naked or dead?”
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[image] This was such a cute rom-com filled with glorious belly-aching laugh out loud moments. I finished it in one sitting, and the pages just flew by! It really does play out like a movie, and you can practically see it on the widescreen while you are reading. Completely a feel good book with all the fluffy romance and sexy tidbits you'd want in one.
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The Story
The Unhoneymooners follows Olive Torres during a honeymoon that she goes on falsely identifying as her twin sister Ami, who just got married. After a bad case of food poisoning at Ami's wedding, the only two unaffected people are Olive and Ami's husbands brother, Ethan. Ethan and Olive have supposedly hated each other from the moment they met each other, so they both agree to disagree and go on the honeymoon together. What starts as a fake marriage and an excuse for a free holiday soon turns into many misadventures, misencounters and misunderstandings. Soon, Olive and Ethan start to realize that they have immense chemistry between them and maybe they were wrong from the start...
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Firstly, I want to call it and say that the enemies to lovers trope is going to swoop 2019 away from me like a storm. There is honestly very little that can go wrong with the trope and this book was evidently showed how electric it can be. It truly was such an easy and fast-paced read that had little bouts of sexual tension that made it unputdownable.
This was really hard to rate for me. Without giving too much away, the first 65% of the book felt like a 4 -5 star read, full with funny and lovable characters that all had their own charm. However, after that mark something felt so unbalanced and I disliked the way some issues were dealt with alongside some dynamics. Yes, it was unrealistic and the story arcs that were created have been done before, but that still did not take away from how effortless it felt to sink into Olive and Ethan's story. I'm glad the story had no obvious insta-love aspects but during the last quarter there were some cringey lines that felt uncomfortably close. [image]
The Romance
All this book really left me with was a strong desire to go pick up more Christina Lauren books. Not very many romance contemporaries can do that for me, so that was really refreshing. The romance between Olive and Ethan was electric, it sparked and flew off the page. I could feel their hate but I could also feel how slowly they dissolved into each others company. I really enjoyed that Olive is a strong woman that learns her self-worth and sticks up for her curves throughout the story. So all in all the romance was charming.
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Once the book neared the second half, I could feel my rating drop slightly. I was initially going to give this 4 stars but knew that wouldnt be true to what I thought of the story as a whole. During the end, I started being very cautious about the way that Olive and Ethan solved their problems. With no spoilers, they didn't really solve their problems. Then when a couple chapters passed, there was a massive reveal that I felt needed a bigger reaction from Ethan.
With that being said, I loved the family dynamic and the friendship involved with Olive and her relatives. It didn't feel like it was a filler, it felt like it belonged and made the story all the more delightful. But still, I need more girls to stand up for girls this 2019. I really enjoyed this story and definitely will read more of the authors' works....more
“But the truth is, also, simply this: love is indomitable."
[image] [image] My heart is so entirely full, it's nearly overflowing. This book was in a“But the truth is, also, simply this: love is indomitable."
[image] [image] My heart is so entirely full, it's nearly overflowing. This book was in a word; matchless. I laughed, I loved, I cried but mostly loved every beautiful little thing that led up to the last page. Now, having finished, I wish for nothing more but to go all the way back to the beginning and start again. As readers, sometimes -very rarely- you come across a book that quintessentially becomes a mantra, a new sense of hope and a burst of something you never really knew existed. I don't think I will ever forget this novel.
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On the off chance this book hasn't already won you over...
For a glimpse on my current situation: i'm sporting sweatpants, haven't cooked for more than 24 hours, hair's an absolute mess, feel like screaming how gay i am out the window, and completely abandoned my responsibilities. my horoscope did not prepare me for this.
When this book is published, and readers pick it up for the first time, I'm going to be sitting and watching all the emotions unfurl and all the fan;art,fiction,girling commence. And while I sit and watch, I'm going to be so jealous of everyone that has the luxury of reading this for the first time.
It's equal parts funny and loving and clever and tragic. I made a note on my kindle at page 3 stating "this is it," because that's how much I could feel the energy of a fucking brilliant book in my hands. The camaraderie and friendship combined with rebellion and sexy banter is almost too good to be in one novel. This is quite possibly the easiest five stars I have ever given.
"So, you can hate the heir to the throne all you want, write mean poems about him in your diary, but the minute you see a camera, you act like the sun shines out of his dick, and you make it convincing.” “Have you met Henry?” Alex says. “How am I supposed to do that? He has the personality of a cabbage.”
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A Tribute
In more ways than one, the story behind Alex and Henry's relationship is magic. There is quite a lot of politics involved, quite a lot of drunkedness and quite a lot of soft moments that make you clutch your kindle slightly tighter.
"But he thinks about Henry, and, oh. He thinks about Henry, and something twists in his chest, like a stretch he’s been avoiding for too long."
This was an enemies to lovers romance with so much more going for it. A beautiful feeling arose throughout the book as I saw the family and the omnipresent feeling of hope through friends. Nora gave me life and made me swoon. June was someone we all need in our life, alongside Pez. Bea was the softest cinnamon role in the whole bakery and when they were all together, my heart started singing.
“Alexander, babes,” Pez says when he picks up. “How lovely for you to give your auntie Pezza a ring on this magnificent Sunday morning.” He’s smiling from what looks like the passenger seat of a luxury car, wearing a cartoonishly large sunhat and a striped pashmina."
I wish I could go up to every one that will ever have doubts about reading this book and beg them to give it a chance. Sometimes, I'm skeptical about picking up new authors - especially, when they are debuting with a genre that means so much to me. Yet, here I am, falling incredibly in love with everything this book is and will continue to be in my life.
“Are you going to kiss me?” He laughed. “I was planning on it, yes.” “Okay. I’m ready.”
[image] [image] While I enjoyed witnessing this story unfold an“Are you going to kiss me?” He laughed. “I was planning on it, yes.” “Okay. I’m ready.”
[image] [image] While I enjoyed witnessing this story unfold and truly appreciate how Graves approached certain themes within this book, my true determination to reach the last page was because of the beautiful flower we meet called Annika Rose.
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"Romance" While yes, this is a romance novel filled with all the kisses and warm moments you'd want in one... I'd like to think this was more-so a story of hope. Hope for a strange and gorgeously odd girl that never really got the manual for life. I loved the way we saw Annika find herself and grow through the years and tears.
This story begins with Annika meeting her ex-college boyfriend Jonathan. At the start, we don't know why they split up or why this is the first time they are seeing each other after ten years but we know that somehow, it foreshadows to Annika's fault. Which after finishing this book, I can most confidently say that Annika deserves so much better.
"But I will call. I’ll apologize. Ask him if we can start over. “Clean slate,” I’ll say. Such is my desire to replace the memories of the girl he used to know with the woman I’ve become."
The story itself moves from past to present POV's from both Jonathan and Annika. We watch as their love unfolds and Annika becomes someone she is proud of. I won't give away too much, and really I think it's better if you go into this one blind. Although there were a lot of sub plots and story arcs, I felt like it was easy enough to follow.
“Where do we start?” I ask. Will smiles. “I’ve always found the beginning to be a good place.”
Before I address the parts that I felt really took away the magic of the story. I'm going to go through the parts that I really adored. I struggled to decide whether I should give this a 2 or 3 star rating and am still hesitant. Maybe as this review writes itself, I'll find out my final answer ;)
The Characters Firstly, Annika has my whole heart at the moment and I am not afraid to throw down anyone who says she isn't the purest angel. She is kind and warmhearted towards everything and although she may not understand the world around her, she knows love. Annika was truly the winning piece in this story and I felt so comfortable reading her POV. It felt like being inside her head with all the weird fragmentations and beautifully blunt observations.
Secondly, Janice. Janice was the kick ass, bad ass girlfriend that everyone needs in their life. Especially through college when everything feels like it's constantly changing and you can't keep up. I really enjoyed that the author put in a girl advocating another girl instead of bringing her down trope. It makes my heart sing whenever I see cliches like that kicked to the curb.
Now... for Jonathan. My mother warned me about men like him.
"His touch grounded me and made me feel as if nothing bad could ever happen as long as Jonathan had ahold of my hand."
I would really like to say that he was selfless, mindful of Annika's health and disorder, loving and noble. In truth, we were made to believe he was. However, reaching the end of the novel and watching everything come to light, I saw a wolf in sheep's clothing. The whole time we think that Annika did something, and without giving anything away - she went through such hard shit in her life and continues to blame herself for everything. Then enters Jonathan, who all but doesn't want to give her a "second chance" because he agrees!?!?
Next comes the dialogue and trust between the two of them. By the second half of the book, it truly came across that Jonathan felt like he was just settling. Annika loved him way more than he did her and it really fleshed out that way. We saw her constantly battling to be a better version of herself and there comes a point in the book when Jonathan all but tells her that he may never find his perfect girl, so Annika is good enough.
This man frustrated the living fuck out of me. He was selfish and under the surface manipulative. He reminded me of a lot of toxic people that wear a mask in order to pretend they are actually fucking living light. Every time I thought there would be some sort of redemption and justice, he went and mentioned how pretty she was.
"There’s something about having a pretty girl on your arm and knowing she’s into you that makes you feel like showing her off.”
The Writing Having read Graves previous work "On the Island," I have really come to enjoy her simple yet subtly poetic writing. I loved that this wasn't a magic dick syndrome story or another "love can cure me" one either. It showed how important it is to take hold of your own life regardless of who you want to please or who you want to be with.
Overall, I enjoyed some of the warm moments that this story had to offer, but I wish there was more. Thinking now, I feel like this is a 2.5 stars, all because of Annika and the way she held herself and her dialogue. The other half of the rating was lost due to the endless amounts of sub-plots and Jonathan. Because fuck him....more
“I don’t have my pride, Willow, because I feel like a man on death row. Begging for life. Begging to live one more day. Begging to fuck you one mor“I don’t have my pride, Willow, because I feel like a man on death row. Begging for life. Begging to live one more day. Begging to fuck you one more time.”
[image] [image] [image] If this book isn't proof that you should always give second chances then I don't know what is. I'm so wonderfully speechless. So fucking gobsmacked, someone needs to join me on release day to raise a glass... all the glasses to Ms. Kent.
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An Explanation Earlier this year, I received an ARC for Gods and Monsters. After reading the novel, I wrote a review and gave it 1 star (zero stars if I could) because I thought what it was telling the readers wasn't right. I still and always will hold strong to the points I made in that review, because all those truths are self-evident.
I even thought that I wouldn't pick up a Saffron A. Kent novel ever again, for the sole reason that I actually hate giving negative reviews. Even through all its issues, authors work hard with their writing and publishing a novel can be one of the scariest and most vulnerable things to do.
Yet, somehow Medicine Man made its way through to my kindle.
I. was. hooked.
Not the chapter after chapter hooked, the type of hooked that had my eyes burning because I didn't even want to blink in case I missed a second of reading. The kind of hooked that kept me up till 5 in the morning with four shots of espresso and no dinner (because who has the time to cook when YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS). The kind of hooked that made me reach the last page, and all I wanted to do was flip back to the beginning and start the journey all over again.
That kind of hooked usually never. Never happens to me.
"I can’t ignore this growing… something just under my ribcage. Something like longing but with a sharper edge. More like restlessness."
The Plot Let me try and win you over.
"There’s a sun stuck in my head. It’s bright and glaring. It hurts my eyes, my skull, my very bones. I shove a pillow on my face, trying to shield myself from the rays. Obviously, it doesn’t help. Because the sun is inside my head. Inside. My head."
This is a story about a girl who purposefully fell off of a roof. This girl isn't well. In fact, she's so unwell that she has managed to trick herself into thinking that she actually is.
This is a story about a man who is broken inside. This man is a fixer. In fact, he can fix just about everything and everyone other than himself.
This is a story about how a girl who wants to fall to her death, yet learns to fall in love instead. With a man who wants to fix her, yet learns to fix himself instead.
"Medicine is in his blood. Like illness is in mine. My blood is tainted with poison and his is laced with the antidote."
Depression and Suicidal Thoughts So here's what won me over.
This book has many trigger warnings (that was stated in the beginning, cheers). Depression and Suicide being some of the many sensitive issues that are touched upon. One of the main themes, I'd say before even the Romance was the Mental Health. Not that this book wasn't steamy, because I'm talking panty dropping scenes, hot damn.
"Broken heart is more dangerous than a disease of the mind, though. They give you a pill to make your brain happy, but they haven’t yet made a pill for heartbreak. So there. That should teach everyone who wants to fall in love."
However, something that perhaps resonated very deeply and hit home really hard was the way mental health was handled in this book. I thought for sure I would have to rate this book down a couple stars because magic dick syndrome has its little symptoms pop up here and there and there was the constant message of "Love can cure my depression."
Except it wasn't.
It was done so brilliantly and cleverly because of how real the narration and the bouts of insanity felt. When you have a mental health issue, when you have any sort of disorder with your mind or body - you want to believe that everything and anyone can be your cure. You want out of your situation so badly, that you start to believe in other people more than you believe in yourself.
Willow realized that towards the end and the one and only important message that I want to plaster all over every paperback and e-book of this, is this:
"Well, as happy as you can be while living with clinical depression. Unfortunately, love isn’t a cure for it, but the love of my life is there with me every step of the way."
"As much as I enjoy the fantasy of him curing me, of him being my medicine man, I know he can’t. I know in this life, the only person who can save you is yourself. I’ve been fighting to save my life ever since I was born. I don’t need him to save me."
The Writing There was something so special about the writing in this. The way the atmosphere and pathetic fallacy was perfect under different conditions and the way some narrative descriptions was exactly what it feels like to be in that mindset. Eerie is a word that encapsulates this book.
The cover doesn't do this book justice. Although, it's an okay cover - this book was so much more than just okay.
It is a pretty big ass book. In fact, that's probably what would deter people away or cause them to lose interest. (I didn't lose interest even once but then again, I've already stated how fucking addicted I was to this.)
"I’m already locked up. I’m free to be insane."
There are two more books coming after this one revolved around some characters you see. I need them now. No, I needed them yesterday - I just didn't know. Although, the book deals with sensitive situations and triggering topics, it really is such a hot book. There was so much sexual tension and the burn was perfect and slow.
"I feel like I needed that, his tongue inside my mouth, tasting, sweeping, licking. Hungry. I needed to be his food, his sustenance, like he’s become mine."
I'm going to stop gushing and end this review with a little paragraph that I re-read multiple times. My eyes began to leak and I hope yours do too because whoever is dealing with issues like our Warrior Willow is, or even other issues; it's okay not to be okay.
“Because the thing is that it’s not my fault either. That I was born this way. It’s not my fault that sometimes things get just a little bit harder. It’s not my fault that every day I fight a silent battle. I implode. I don’t make a sound. I don’t say a word. I don’t let anyone know what I’m going through. It’s like I’m blaming myself. And I don’t want to do that anymore. I told you because it’s not my fault. It’s not my fault that some days my goal is just to make it through the day. While others make plans to ace an interview or a test or go see a movie or for a walk, I make plans to just get through the day. It’s not my fault. It’s my achievement. It’s my strength that I fight. Someone told me that I’m a warrior, and that I’m ashamed of it. So this is me…” I nod, unfisting my hands. “Not being ashamed. This is me asking for help.”
Alex ✰ Comets and Comments ✰
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