Let me tell you about my favourite NA fantasy book of 2019. _______"It doesn’t end in death. It ends in hope."
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Let me tell you about my favourite NA fantasy book of 2019. _______________
A Story About A Witch Getting Hitched But Much More. Serpent and Dove stole my heart in so many ways and all I want to do is go back and read it all over again. This lush tale full of magic and intrigue is wildly imaginative but soft at the same time and if you're a fan of romance + fantasy, I highly recommend trying this!
The sales pitch; - enemies to lovers - kickass heroines - lovable side characters (ansel is the floofliest cinnamon roll) - THE ONE BED TROPE™ - witches and witchhunters - one badass song about a lady named Big Titty Liddy.
“I know if you aren’t swearing or singing about well-endowed barmaids, something is wrong.”
I honestly inhaled this and if it weren't for actually having to adult, I would have finished it in one sitting. Before I get into the crooks of my review, let's meet our two main characters;
Lou: [image]
Reid: [image]
If there's one thing about this book that completely sold me was the fact that I loved so many characters. Especially these two! The characters in this book had me crying, laughing and turning every page like an addict. Lou stayed true to herself throughout the entire book and was never sorry for being a badass female! I enjoyed her company right from the beginning and it was such a journey to watch her story unfold. Enter Reid... Reid was the horniest mess all encapsulated within the perfect gentleman. He was everything, to be honest. For all those people that mentioned their dynamic is so similar to Nina and Matthias from Six of Crows... you're absolutely right.
“You really think I could knock two fully grown men unconscious?” My husband’s reply came instantaneously. “Yes.”
Their banter was off the charts, and their chemistry practically flew off the page. Because this book was told in dual POV's, I thought it was going to be a problem to distinguish two separate voices, but that was not the case. Both these characters had such a wonderful character development throughout the story and even better, was seeing them grow together. I do have to say that this is completely a New Adult book, and not a YA. Reid and Lou definielty get hot and heavy ;)
“When you weren’t in bed, I thought maybe—maybe you’d—” “Left?” I said shrewdly. “It’s still on the agenda.”
For those who know my reviews, you know that I often fall into the overhype trap. I get very excited about books that have very high ratings and come in highly recommended, but then end up disappointed. I think I've finally found the winner, folks. The world-building (a lavish french renaissance-esque setting with a hub full of of illegal magic, a pleasure house with a mysterious lady, and the men of the church) was fantastic, and embedded within the story rather than separated by info-dumps. There were so many plot twists and character arcs that I was invested in more than just the romance between Reid and Lou, the story itself was fan-fucking-tastic. Truly such a magnificent debut! It was so easy to love this book.
“Can you put something on?” He waved a hand in my direction, the other firmly pressed against his eyes. “I can’t talk to you when you’re sitting there—sitting there—” “Naked?” His teeth clamped together with an audible snap. “Yes.”
I didn't want this story to end to put it plainly. I loved it so much that I'm just going to ignore the randomness of the last couple of chapters (hehe). One shoutout that I would also like to mention is the fact that this book had LGBT characters but didn't make it a big deal or put any spotlight on them. It was briefly mentioned as a passing comment that Coco had female lovers and then when the fucking Prince of the kingdom all but asked if Reid and Lou wanted to join Coco and him on a sexcapade??! Hell yes to queer characters that don't have "being queer" as their major character trait.
"You focused on the battle and lost sight of the war.”
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The first three chapters were a solid 5 stars, everything after felt like"You focused on the battle and lost sight of the war.”
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The first three chapters were a solid 5 stars, everything after felt like reading a completely different book. _______________
This was not it, chief. Firstly, this review is not going to talk about or explain the controversy behind this book... If you want to know why it got pulled and then set to be re-published, there are so many great reviews and articles out there that explain the situation. All this review is going to be is just that... a review.
Sooo... it happened again. I got excited over something and ended up severely disappointed. Honestly, a lot of the issues I had with this book are similar to the issues I had with Wicked Saints. I was really just bored out of my mind.
Blood Heir is promising. Its premise and magic system is really refreshing (although it has very similar inklings of the Grishaverse), I think had the execution been much better, this would have been a great new take on YA Fantasy. Unfortunately, it wasn't.
"My name is Anastacya Mikhailov. Except it wasn’t. Anastacya Mikhailov was the name of the Crown Princess of Cyrilia, drowned eleven moons past in her attempt to escape execution for murder and treason against the Cyrilian Crown. Anastacya Mikhailov was a ghost and a monster who did not, and should not, exist."
I'm going to start off with what I enjoyed, because I did actually enjoy a couple things. The writing in this book was really phenomenal at times and if it weren't highly repetitive in its nature, this might have even been a three star read. I also really enjoyed the action in this book. The main reason I kept reading though was because of the narrative dealing with human trafficking. It was the main reason why I picked it up this book. I think if anything deserved for this not to be a DNF, it was this one fact. Okay, moving on.
“This isn’t a revolution. This is a massacre."
My first issue with this book was the characters. I did not like a single character. Everyone just felt unpleasant and unkind. Ramson started off a jerk, and although I could see how the author intended for their to be development in his character, he ended up as a jerk too. Ana was immature and often made hasty decisions - this is a trait that I absolutely cannot stand with main characters. I mean... give me a powerful female lead that isn't a clutz, a damsel in distress or childish and you'll have me hooked. Every character that came along irritated me in some way.
The predictability was at an all time high, folks. I mean... I made notes on my kindle on what I think would happen to certain characters or situations or "twists," just so I could play a game with myself later on to see if I got it right. I predicted 90% of the events correctly in one way or another. Also, the fact that I took that amount of time out just goes to say how bored I was throughout reading. I wasn't hooked or reaching for my kindle every chance I got.
The next major aspect that pissed me off was the flashbacks and character history became too much. What makes a great Fantasy for me? If an author manages to embed the character's backstory and "reasons why" within the narrative. There were entire chapters full of only flashbacks... I didn't find this necessary in the world building and although some of them were key to understanding the motives behind characteristics of the story, all of them were drawn out.
The pacing. This was the internet explorer of YA fantasy books that I have read this year. Was that a tad harsh? Yes. Am I going to take it back? No. Everything in this book felt like it took forever to reach there.
While the writing in this book was great, the dialogue was certainly not. There were a lot of cliche statements, tropes between characters that have been repeatedly done before. Some conversations were so jarring and uncomfortable, I visibly cringed. My last issue was the chemistry (or lackthereof) between the two main characters. I didn't root for them, it felt forced to me.
Overall, this book was meant to be amazing to me. I was anticipating it for a while and I just could not get passed a couple things. It felt like the entire novel was a case "yeah this is okay, but...."
The images above are taken from an art account, and other than the edit, credit to this talented person....more
"Every minute you’re alive is a second chance to start over. I honor my past, but I don’t live in it. I choose this moment instead. Right here." "Every minute you’re alive is a second chance to start over. I honor my past, but I don’t live in it. I choose this moment instead. Right here."
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Siri, how do I put my heart back together after Emma Scott so elegantly broke it in two? [image] _______________
I'm not crying, you're crying.
This book. This. heartbreakingly. beautiful. book. Emma Scott achieved the impossible with this book.
I want this book to be in every high school library. I want this book handed out at Pride. I want this book to be read by every single person that thinks that they're alone in love.
This book is ugly. It's heavy and more times than not, you feel like you can't carry it. It's tough to chew and harder to swallow. It made me wince and cringe and I had to put my kindle away many many times. But this book is necessary. It took many different forms of hate and showed how there is only one universal form of love.
Emma Scott will always be one of my favourite authors. This book is no exception and only deepened my love for her writing and aptitude for storytelling. Except, with this book - it wasn't really a story because the things that happen in this book are still happening. Someday, Someday deals with the plight of love. It deals with Max Kaufman who was thrown out of his house by his family for being found with a boy. Then, Silas Marsh who at a very young age was sent to sexuality conversion therapy where he was tortured and terrorized. It portrays the destructive and futile values of homophobia whilst dealing with people who are undergoing immense mental battles. It shows how Max and Silas find each other as recovering drug addicts but mostly, how they find themselves through each other.
So yes. Whatever you're imagining when I say that this book is heavy and deals with topics that are necessary, double it.
"Don’t let go. Hold on and you’ll be safe. Let go and you’ll never be the same again."
I think this was the toughest out of all Emma's books that I have read. So many times during reading, I found myself sobbing. Because through all the animosity, hatred and trauma within this book, it is nothing if not a story of forgiveness. I struggled with this book a lot, in all honesty. It's very hard to focus on a love story, a romance between two people who have such tragic histories. The narrative we were given was not light in any way and then we got these screenshots of Max and Silas slowly falling in love. But by then end, I realized that, that was the entire point.
It goes to say that I'm only a reader, and a very small drop in the ocean that is Emma's Entourage but I am so, so fucking proud of Emma Scott because of this book.
Someday, Someday is a heart-wrenching tour de force that steals the air right from your lungs. It's ambitiously driven by hope and after hurting you and ripping you apart, it builds you back up again. I'm proud of Emma because no matter how painful and upsetting Silas and Max's story was, she refused to make it pretty, because that wouldn't be the truth. That's why it's her most beautiful book to date.
My heart hurt for so many people (Eddie deserves nothing more than a hug and the best life). My only slight problem was that I found some things (mostly dialogue) to be jarring and occasionally insensitive. Although the story started off somewhat slow, I was captivated a third way in and then it became unputdownable. I can so safely say though that Emma writes the stories that I wish I had the chance to experience for the first time, every time I re-read them.
“Strip, Little Bird. Show us what you’ve got,” King whispers, just as he shoves me back to my feet. “Dance like you fuck. Like exactly how you tast“Strip, Little Bird. Show us what you’ve got,” King whispers, just as he shoves me back to my feet. “Dance like you fuck. Like exactly how you taste.”
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Amo Jones didn't come to fucking play, fellas. _______________
Ever wonder what would happen if Cirque Du Soleil went rogue and ended in an orgy? In Peace Lies Havoc was a thrill-ride amongst many other rides, pun very much intended. It was addicting and full of angst that had me on the very edge... again, pun very much intended. The story was dark and gritty and never had me losing interest.
Before I start my review, I should probably mention that Amo Jones books are not for everyone. They weren't for me either until I tried this book on a whim because I am a die-hard fan of the circus-romance trope. I read a book by her last year that just did not sit right with me. I still hold strong to the points I made in that review but this just went to show me that surprises do really happen. Part of my reluctance to often try authors that I have had bad experiences with, again is the fact that I alike many others, loathe writing negative reviews. Because who really, wants to sit down and write all the things you felt were personally wrong with something?
I was so captivated by this book, it was almost dramatically ironic. Almost.
"I stopped breathing when I felt him behind me, his breathing on my nape. “We’ll be back for you, Little Bird.” The Shadow pressed into me from behind, his hard chest to my back. “I’ll always be back.”
I don't want to give a summary or a blurb to what this book is about because to be quite honest, I still don't know. It's a clusterfuck of emotions and stories that are so bizarre, you might actually believe them. I think I'm quite scared of Jones' mind because if she managed to whip up this story, who knows what else she's capable of?
I mean... this was a dark "captivity" romance set around a travelling sexual performance company had characters that made me want to hide. Then there was the mind games, angst games, murders, gangs/mobs, plot twists, stockholm syndrome (if you can call it that) and a seriously underrated trailer driver. Oh, and let's not forget this little nugget;
“Heads, I suck your pussy until you scream, to show this fool how a real man fucks. Or tails, I cut off each of your fingers and fuck you with them. Both will have you screamin’, baby. So, what will it be?”
* Cue the nervous laughter *
This wasn't perfect, I definitely found myself getting frustrated with some plotholes and annoyed at some of the events that unfolded. I wanted Dove to fight back harder and not be so oblivious, but then we might not have our story...Overall I was so hooked. The Brothers of Kiznitch are psychopathic and deliriously yummy even though they shouldn't be. If you're a fan of dark romance and haven't already read this gem, trust me... you won't regret it.
Also just a note: I need Kohen's story. I need Val and Rose to get together and kill all that sexual tension already. Kyrin and Kenan make my heart melt and we only got a second of them.
"Intimacy is just like murder; they both make your heart race and your palms sweat while leaving your thoughts in disarray, but then when you’re done, you’re left with the remnants of someone else’s soul or blood on your hands."
Amo Jones doesn't make any stops with this book. It's a rollercoaster from start to finish and I was left with my mouth hanging open, not knowing what the everloving fuck I just read. I'm kinda still speechless, don't let the review fool you.
"That was what magic did. It revealed the heart of who you’d been before life took away your belief in the possible. It gave back the world all lon"That was what magic did. It revealed the heart of who you’d been before life took away your belief in the possible. It gave back the world all lonely children longed for. "
-dnf @30%- I don't think I have ever been more disappointed in myself for not being able to love this book. Leigh Bardugo continues to be my queen of fantasy, this one was just a complete and utter miss for me. _______________
*all the sighs* I'm still not certain that this review will get all my thoughts across. I'm also very blatantly stating this now... because I DNFed this book, this review isn't going to be able to provide any summaries, commentaries etc etc. It's partially why I didn't give it a rating; firstly because I couldn't even get halfway and secondly, because I think I might return to Ninth House at a future date. I want to give this book more of a chance but as it stands now, this was not for me.
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I've read a lot of people opinions on how it gets better and I'm holding on to that for the next time I try. A caveat though; this book and everything about it (aside from it being Fantasy) really shouldn't be compared to the Grishaverse or Leigh's previous books. They are intended for two different types of demographics and Ninth House deals with some very heavy "adult" themes.
To start things off (very bluntly), I got bored. There was nothing that kept me turning the pages other than self-determination and it came to a point where even that wasn't enough. I was doing that thing where you read a paragraph and then read it again (3 times) because you realize you weren't paying any attention at all...I found the pacing in this book to be excruciatingly slow. Nothing significant enough was happening that had me at the edge and the "mysterious" elements didn't hold enough suspense or warrant excitement from me. Again, this opinion is simply my own and it might have been a fact of picking this book at the wrong time.
Another key thing I noticed that caused -several- naps whilst reading was the writing style. The writing in this book is very narrative, and while it's not without merit, it simply didn't captivate me. I felt like it was telling me, rather than showing me and I craved for emotional description from the characters. Which leads me to another note...I got really weary of Darlington. This is going to be very problematic because A LOT of people place him as the winning character of this book. Still, I found myself leaning towards wanting Alex's chapters more than his. Nothing about Darlington made me anticipate meeting him...
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There were way too many infor-dumps and if I had to sum up my reading experience, it would be a quote directly from this book: "You start out excited, and by page two you realize it’s all a lot of words and not much drama." When I saw that, I felt like I was being called out to be honest (drama in this case meaning something actually, yknow... HaPpEnIng). I needed to stop reading before it put me in a slump, so I did. On another note though, Amazon Studios is going to develop this into a series and THAT, I'm looking forward to. It might just push me to read it before I watch it!
Buddy Read with this cutie although, I don't really know if it counts because she's being a trooper and still reading and I'm now just waving the moral support flag.
pre-review do i have a considerable amount of books that i already need to read? would i drop (quote me on this) everything for this? if leigh bardugo wrote a 100,000 word essay on the growing strategies of cacti, would i also do the same? yes, yes and also yes.
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"By the time Alex managed to get the blood out of her good wool coat, it was too warm to wear it. Spring had come on grudgingly; pale-blue mornings failed to deepen, turning instead to moist, sullen afternoons, and stubborn frost lined the road in high, dirty meringues.... ....That was in the spring. But the trouble had begun on a night in the full dark of winter, when Tara Hutchins died and Alex still thought she might get away with everything."...more
"It’s all too perfect, I think. When things are that perfect, something is wrong."
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Tarryn Fisher is and always will be one of my all time f"It’s all too perfect, I think. When things are that perfect, something is wrong."
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Tarryn Fisher is and always will be one of my all time favourite authors because of The Opportunist. Whilst I am a big fan of her romance novels, The Wives was my first attempt at reading one of her psychological thrillers. This review is going to be slightly problematic because this book was both a mindfuck and a clusterfuck at the same time. [image] _______________
Dark and Unwavering
My first tip for this book would be to dive in not knowing much. Simply because everything hits ten times harder that way. The plot of TW is quite simple on the surface level, but as each chapter unfolds, you start questioning and doubting nearly every character. The deeper I fell into this story, the darker it became, the more I started feeling uncomfortable and uneasy. It pulled me in right from the start and every time I put it down, I wanted to pick it back up again.
Fisher portrays a complex commentary on the starving feeling of jealousy and envy through this novel that is unparalleled with anything I have ever read before. The storyline dealt with topics such as polygamy, manipulation, insecurities and abuse (not necessarily in that order). It was refreshing to see a different type of suspense, wherein the story grabs you with the obvious more than the mystery. I struggled with the writing at the start, I found the structure to be fragmented and the flow, jarring. It was a lot of "this then I did that then this..." but I soon adapted to it to find that it surprisingly suited the story very well.
"Something’s going on and I feel like I’m the only person in this marriage who doesn’t know what."
The main reason I'm giving this 3 stars is mainly because the latter end of the book lost me slightly. I felt like the twist could have been executed and developed better. The angle it took became very dysfunctional and it felt like the story was trying to squeeze the mindfuck towel dry. So much so that it soon became a clusterfuck. It felt like I was trying to keep up with every characters arc and story involvement that I was lost in the crowd. I also detached from our heroine, Thursday quite often. She was a very dichotomous character and throughout the story, I wanted her to stand up to her opinions and beliefs but she kept letting others treat her badly. There were times where she did in fact come through and push against the "doormat" stereotype but it was always met with a contradiction in her personality.
I do recommend this to anyone that wants to dip their toes into psychological thrillers, or even the regular readers in the genre. I would not throw caution to the wind however because this story can get very dark and gritty at the best of times. It hurt me at times because I empathized with Thursday's plight to its core, I found myself rooting for her situation even though I had my conflicts with her. I wish I could say that the ending left me completley satisfied but I felt like it was a very rushed ending and the story only unfolded in the last 20%. Beyond this, I enjoyed myself and definitely need a light read now.
“No offense, sir, but one of your daughters is entirely too young for me, and the other is entirely too Daria for me.”
[image] [image] [image] [ima“No offense, sir, but one of your daughters is entirely too young for me, and the other is entirely too Daria for me.”
[image] [image] [image] [image] Is this happening? Can it be? Did Alex just rate an L.J Shen book more than 3 stars? Did Alex just actually enjoy the everloving shit out of this problematic as fuck book? *Owen Wilson voice* WooOOWwW _______________
Explain yourself, Alex
So in the past, Ms. Shen and I have not gelled well together. I find her books very heavily controversial and are often filled with many tropes and triggers that I just can't get past. Her male heroes are often assholes known for how awful they can treat their girls, but somehow it works for people. It never really did for me, until this pretty little storm made its way into my hands.
"He gave me the rarest thing in the world, and I gave him heartache."
Don't be mistaken, Pretty Reckless still has asshole leads, both of them (Daria and Penn) treat each other like shit for the most part of the book and the writing, although enjoyable still has plenty of triggers. Somehow, someway, I still really enjoyed this! I loved the banter between the group of friends and I flew through this very fast. I was so scared to pick it up but once I did, I was completely captivated. I love enemies-to-lovers but bully romances can be very hit or miss depending how the subject is treated, and in all honesty - I felt like Daria held up her own in this very well! Granted, it was because she too, was a bully but semantics, amiright??
“Mess with me, Followhill, and I will ruin you.” “Not if I ruin you first.”
This was angsty and gritty all through and every chapter had me at the edge. The plot-twists weren't shockers but I really didn't mind because I fell in love with each broken character. The character development was so subtly and beautifully done, I didn't even know I was falling for them until I finished and realized that I had. L.J Shen took my breath away with this one, simply for the fact that she can write up the tragic tales of highschool seniors that hits all the feels. It was so very addicting... I haven't read the Sinners of Saint series so I don't know the backstory of the parents in the All Saints series, but this book really made me want to pick it up.
"You are the fucking equation, I want to yell in her face. The riddle and the answer and the numbers within it. You’re math. You make sense. “Don’t go,” I croak. "
This book reminded me of the show, Euphoria. So if you're into that and want something in between waiting for Season Two, here's your little golden nugget! Another thing that I really want to draw attention to is the fact that this book is advertised as YA (Young Adult), when it is seriously not! It is definitely NA (New Adult) with all the steamy and graphic scenes you could expect in one. Which brings me to the fact that this is an absolute panty-dropper, folks. If it's not entertaining you, making your heart ache or asking you to pull your hair out - it's being the book equivalent of a sauna. If you haven't already read this (which is highly unlikely, I just live under my safe rock) and you're a fan of "hate to love you, love to hate you scenes," then you're going to devour this book. I know I certainly did.
"Because I want to kill Daria. Daria made everything fade into the background the first time I saw her, and while I was busy admiring, everything around us burned."
"How beautiful it is to be human. That we can fall asleep drowning in tears and pain but wake to a new sunrise on a new day with a dry face."
[imag"How beautiful it is to be human. That we can fall asleep drowning in tears and pain but wake to a new sunrise on a new day with a dry face."
[image] [image] this made my heart ache and i loved every single second.
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Poetry and Prose Modern contemporary poetry happens to be a sweetspot for me. Add in touches of bittersweet understanding of love and life. Then encapsulate the whole anthology with a boost of girl power and you've got yourself a surefire way to make me sing with happiness.
A Love Letter from the Girls Who Feel Everything was more than just a collection of poetry and prose. It was little polaroid pictures of moments that happens in our lives. It was a series of heartbreaks and a journey where I could feel so many different stories meeting in the middle.
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I felt like writing post it notes of the words that meant the most to me and taping them all over the house, so each day I could be reminded that I'm worth more than what society dictates I should be. Both Cherry and Steiner paint such powerful messages with their words that I can only imagine what are they could bring to this form of expressionism.
"I don’t want to lose you, and so I lose a little of myself, instead."
Verse and Contradiction I think it's safe to say that I swallowed this book whole. I'm pretty sure I will go back to it time and time again in the future so that I can digest the poems again. That's one of the beautiful things about poetry and verse, each time you read a passage; the meaning shifts according to what point you are in life.
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Some poems did contradict with both purpose and meaning. For example, we were told throughout that "you are enough" and "you will always be enough" but then there was a verse that threw me off because;
"One of the hardest lessons I have ever learned is that you can be the very best version of you, and still not be enough."
I assume they mean the worlds portrays of 'enough'. Some of the poems seemed very tumblresque and perhaps, that was another thing that fell short slightly. Some of them seemed like they were lathered, rinsed and repeated.
Still, that was a very minor issue I came across but I needed to state it somewhere. Overall, this was truly beautiful and if you have half the chance to pick it up and scroll or turn to a random page and read the short passages. I honestly think, it could change your outlook on that day.
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Values I think the authors were spot on with how they conducted and wrote the book. I know for a fact, after reaching the last poem and reading the acknowledgements I felt so empowered. I would love for younger readers, especially girls in their teens to pick this up and know that they aren't the only ones.
"Hug a stranger. Hug a friend. Text that boy —or don’t, so long as you’re being true to your heart and its desires. Kiss like it’s the first time, or maybe like it’s the last. Tell someone how you feel. Travel. See the world. Meet someone new. Let someone feel the way your heart beats, and ask them to let you feel theirs, too."
Some Of My Favorites
"It was on the silent nights, the ones she spent alone, that she understood lonely was not the absence of another person, but rather the absence of self-love."
"It’s pleasing to me the way your heartbeats kiss my ears."
"When you look at me you’ll see that I am the light that ignites my own way."
"You are the moon and I the sun, forever chasing. We cannot be together without one of us erasing what truths lie within, of feelings and thoughts untold. Where your desire for love is shadowed, mine is bright and bold. So as you disappear again, leaving with the dawn, I ask myself which is worse: letting go, or holding on?"
“Because I want you. I want all of you. I want to fuck you until you can’t walk or talk, or fucking see straight. I want to ruin you, break you, an“Because I want you. I want all of you. I want to fuck you until you can’t walk or talk, or fucking see straight. I want to ruin you, break you, and make you bleed so I can make it up to you again. I want to fuck you so hard that I leave an imprint of my cock inside of you, so everyone after me knows that you’re mine.”
[image] [image] Is there such a thing as too much angst?
Please Note: This review contains spoilers and please do not read it, if you plan on picking this book up in the future <3
[image] ____________ Recipe for Disaster (Alex Style): 1/3 cup cheating 2 cups of slut shaming 45ml of unlikeable characters 1tsp. of a decent character (optional, as this will disappear towards the end of the process) 1000grams of unnecessary angst.
Cooks Note: Do not add any chemistry to this recipe.
~Mix Well and Serve Cool~
Flip Trick This might have been one of my most anticipated releases of this year. When I say that, I mean from the day I saw a teaser on Facebook, till the day I received my arc - I was constantly thinking about Maddox and Amethyst.
I dropped everything to read this and I was certain that it was going to be a winner in every sense of the matter. This book actually made me realize that maybe, starting from next year - I shall only review the books that I loved and want to rave about, because I know how hard authors work on writing, editing and going through the whole publication methodology of releasing a novel. I hate giving low reviews because it feels like I'm throwing bad energy at a book that didn't work for me, but could potentially work for many others.
The last part of this book was so unnecessary and there was so much drama that floated around, I couldn't keep up with all the story arcs. Then, there was the fact that every single member of their family thought it was dandy to just FUCK YOUR STEP-SISTER!??
Maybe, it's also because I'm reading Game of Thrones simultaneously - but I think even that was the least of my triggers with this book. There was a lot of time jumping and adding in information that had no meaning. It all felt a bit overwhelming for me.
That being said, this really wasn't my cup of tea. There were so many no-go zones that it constantly danced on, I felt like DNFing... but I read on.
Let me start with my first issue:
The Characters. From the start of this book, I disliked Leila. It started with her being selfish, which then trailed into her practically pressing Amethyst to lose her virginity... why is it so wrong for a girl to be a virgin and not want to have sex with a random stranger?!?
“Your fortress? Well, sorry to say, but I’m going to need your 'fortress' to be trampled in a lot more than once every six months, not to mention after one month of seeing a guy. Loosen up, Ame! Trust me. The best feeling ever.”
I thought she was a really bad influence on Ame and after feeling a bit of euphoria from some chapters, she really dragged me down.
“Ame, it was a one-night stand. Maddox has them probably every weekend with girls who he deems worthy of him.” she rolls her eyes, and I sense something there. Maybe there’s something she isn’t telling me."
Next up, is the range from Amethyst to the men in this book.
1) Since when is it okay to slut-shame? And whore-shame?? Especially in a book where the author controls what comes out of the characters 'mouths'?
2)
The fear of not knowing if she’s going to remember is damn near crippling. What if she doesn’t want me? What if she doesn’t allow me to show her? What would I do then? I’d lock her in my basement and make her, that’s what.
I don't know what to comment about that. I really don't.
3)
“I don’t know. We pushed and pulled for a bit, but I can’t deny that there’s a bond with him. It’s easy, and not complicated. He has a bad reputation on campus, you know, womanizer and because he beats people’s faces in for a living, it only adds to his bullshit appeal.” I suck in a deep breath. “But he’s not any of those people when he’s with me, which is what makes all the difference. You know me, Dad. He’s not my type at all.” Dad quirks an eyebrow. “I know. But maybe this is what you needed. Those nerd boys you messed around with were little fucks.”
4) The only character I liked was Talon. He had an open relationship with a girl, and in the last part of the book this is what we find out:
"Then he tied me to the bed and made me sit and watch while he fucked another girl. I kneeled, gagged, mascara running down my face, ropes tied around my wrist while he fucked this girl senseless all while watching me. I cried, because I loved him, and we hadn’t swung or been with other people in almost a year. This felt like cheating, and it was. He broke my heart when he fucked her savagely..."
It's sad because I really wanted to love the shit out of this book. That cover is gorgeous and this author is kind and caring to her readers. Not to mention, she has another series that is so hyped that I might try reading that instead because that seems amazing too!! O...more
"If I was brutally honest with myself, I was mostly in love with her and I’d never even said hello."
[image] I had to read this book sectionally. "If I was brutally honest with myself, I was mostly in love with her and I’d never even said hello."
[image] I had to read this book sectionally. Only because I promised myself I would not DNF it, nor would I make my final judgement until and unless I've read that last page. I knew I had to leave my review for a handful of days after release day, because for all intents and purposes - Pepper Winters deserves any and all success with her releases, and I wanted to give myself time to try and understand this book. Unfortunately, the case seems to be that whilst I will continue to support and read Pepper's future material, this book will never be for me.
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The line between Romance and Romanticization
Firstly, this is a note that there will be spoilers sprinkled across this review, so read with your own caution.
No matter how much I love a good 'dark' romance, I will always differentiate between romanticization and romance itself. The romanticization of a toxic relationship can be very detrimental to those reading, especially in this genre - where I know that there are young readers. No matter how many trigger warnings you forewarn a reader with, (which there weren't any, but that's an entirely different bone to pick) there will always be some form of absorption when you read new information.
I have read a lot of romance that does tackle dark themes as well as abusive relationships in the "correct" manner. Wherein, both parties realize that it is a abusive relationship and either get help or walk away. That being said, we all love our happily ever afters and our romances to be coated in all sorts of sugar, I know I do. Yet, sometimes we also love reading about stories with a sense of realism, with problems that people face in real life. These are the stories that are the most dangerous when done "wrong." When a little girl or boy, becoming a young adult perceives the behaviors in the book to be true and justified. This was my constant fear with The Body Painter.
I have mentioned in the past that I have been in very toxic relationships but in this instance, for the life of me, and I didn't know why - I kept thinking to myself, "What if I had a daughter in Olin's position?" or "What if I had a son in Gil's position?"
This book made me uncomfortable, and not in the way that gripped me. I did not like a single damn character. The relationship between Olin and Gil was toxic to its core. I spent most of my time fearing for Olin because I felt Gil would snap at her at any moment. I understand that kindness is a virtue, and at first I thought Olin was being both strong and brave. As the story went on however, I felt like grabbing Olin and getting the fuck away from Gil together. There was so much foreshadowing of physical abuse and dialogue that made me want me to throw my damn kindle.
Let me walk you through some examples;
1) Let's start by the dialogue and the way Gil and Olin spoke to each other. I almost feel like I was able to stomach the constant back and forth between the two MC's because I thought somewhere down the line, Olin would stand up for herself. I knew that the end of the book would try and "justify" his cruelty towards her, but there should be no justification for treating and talking to a girl like she's an object. None.
▶︎“I’m going to fuck you and then you’re walking out that door and never coming back.” The lace of alcohol in his tone didn’t slur but added a cruelty that only sent more fire into my already bleeding need." ▶︎“I promised myself I’d be as cruel as necessary to keep you away. That I’d hurt you all over again if that’s what it took. But...I’m too fucking weak. You’re perfect. You’ve always been perfect.”
2) These are threats, that on the surface level - manipulate you into thinking that Gil is about to hurt her. Even if he means a third party will hurt her, these are all manipulations of violence and promises of abuse.
▶︎Gil:“I’m better off alone, believe me.” Olin: “You need medical attention.” Gil: “So will you if you don’t leave.” ▶︎“His eyes flashed with history. Of the time he’d physically hurt me. Of the time his words had the power to stop my heart.”
3)The constant danger of physical abuse and fear that Gil is going to be "pushed too far," is the terror that drives Olin to be cautious. Yet, she keeps coming back. There is nothing called being "pushed too far" that equates to physical violence. This is not a justification, nor should it be to anyone reading.
▶︎"But what if he doesn’t ask me to leave next time? What if he threw me out physically? What if he hurt me like he had when I’d pushed him too far at school?" ▶︎“For fuck’s sake, Olin.” His eyes flashed, reminding me all over again of the nastiness he was capable of. “I told you to go! Don’t make me hurt you.”
4) The repetition bothered me too much. He would treat her like shit, she would go away only to come back the next day. Rinse and repeat. This isn't romance at all, this is something you see on a psychologists pamphlet that lets you know you're not in a working relationship. Gil would say such awful things and Olin would justify it herself.
▶︎"He’d bit me, licked me, devoured me, and ordered me to never go back. But he’s hurting..." ▶︎“I didn’t want you then, and I don’t want you now. You’re embarrassing yourself, Olin. Chasing after a man who has no intention of ever being with you again.”
5) Olin started pissing me off and soon as she inherently became a carpet. Gil would be an ass to her and she would be bothered that they didn't get to keep kissing or fucking. Then I felt a mixture of confusion and irritation because she genuinely wanted Gil to reach his breaking point in the most poisonous way. The main heroine wondering if she was safe or not with her supposed love interest is not something I really look for in a romance...
▶︎"“I think there is a connection.” I looked up briefly, studying how close I was to pushing him over the edge. Push harder. Earn answers. Be prepared to run if he snaps." ▶︎“Yes, I’m very lucky Gilbert was there. I’m safe with him.” Are you? Are you truly?” ▶︎"I’d lied for him. I’d drained myself of everything at his request.
6) Eventually, there was two scenes that completely threw me over. The first one entailed Gil mocking Olin's sanity because she was concerned about the bruises and cuts he sported. The second was an incident where Olin "slipped," and then Gil went on to ask her to lie to the police without giving her any fucking reason other than to trust him, right after he hurt her.
▶︎“Why? Did you not see his injuries?” The bruise on his jaw. The cut on his lip. Gil stiffened as if I’d given away all his secrets. Shoving hands into his hoodie pocket, he stormed toward a trestle table chock-full of glass jars containing brushes and rags. “She’s seeing things. I actually fear for her mental stability. Get rid of her, will you, Miller?”
▶︎“Wh-what happened?” I licked my lips, wincing as another throb of pain found me. He jerked as if I’d slapped him. “You slipped.” ... “I slipped? How?” I didn’t slip. I was slammed into the door. ... “Wait...” I swallowed hard. “You did this to me?” I ripped my hand away. “You knocked me out?” He hunched, his green eyes flashing. “I didn’t mean to. I only meant to unbalance you. I just wanted your phone. But...I pushed too hard. You tripped and fell against the door.” ... “So, you thought it would be better to maim me?” “I deserve everything you have to say to me.” His hands curled into fists. “But...first, I need you to do something for me.”
7) Lastly, through all of this, Gil finds it in himself to blame Olin for it all.
▶︎“What do you want from me, Olin?” His sigh was endlessly heavy. “You push me until I snap. You taunt me until I retaliate. You’re not supposed to be in my life, yet you barged in anyway.” His eyes flashed. “This is your fault. You made it all so fucking complicated.” “You’re blaming me for all of this?” He nodded, moving forward and stopping in front of my chair-shield. “All of it.”
The Finale
In the end, I guessed the twist and I also ended up feeling very repulsed in general by this story. I felt like if the main concern was (view spoiler)[Gil fighting for his daughter, then he should have had the fucking strength to prioritize her and not have sex with Olin in the process only to disregard both. (hide spoiler)]. Pepper Winters has written some of my favorites in the past and to say I was looking forward to this for a year is the truth. I fell in love with the synopsis the first time I read it and the teasers after that only added to my love.
It is with such a heavy heart that I write this review, and during writing this review, I thought I read a different book to everyone else. Toxicity is not romance, it should not be marketed as such. I don't think I have the energy to read the second book, regardless if it clears things up, simply because this book took such a massive emotional chunk out of me. The storyline felt lost to me because Gil and Olin kept going back and forth with the "stay away from me," "no wait, I need you" plot. I tried folks, I really did.
----Prior Reading---- The Body Painter ★ Most Anticipated Expected publication: Summer 2018
"That was the best part of the day--waking up with his boy in his arms."
This was a cute and pure read. If I reviewed it at the time I finished, I "That was the best part of the day--waking up with his boy in his arms."
This was a cute and pure read. If I reviewed it at the time I finished, I probably would give it 3 stars - however, if it weren't for the notes on kindle, this was a unmemorable. Unfortunately, I only got into it after about the 60% mark and wish it was beautiful all the way through. Fans of MM romance and Captive Prince would enjoy this read... (i hope) ...more
“I’ve wanted this for so long. I don’t know what to taste first”
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I have been trying to properly sit down and read this book for what feels “I’ve wanted this for so long. I don’t know what to taste first”
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I have been trying to properly sit down and read this book for what feels like months now. Something always comes in the way and I have to start from Chapter One all over again, because of this, I originally didn't want to give Unveiling Ghosts a rating. But I felt like that would not do anything justice and it was a cowardly way of playing it 'safe'.
But here's the thing. If you were to go solely for the fact that even after a month of on and off reading, I still wanted to pick this up and read Sherry and Hunter's story - that screams for more.
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The Writing
"Because I’d rather have you alive in someone else’s arms, than dead in mine.”
I have read reviews on Jeannine's writing. I stand by the fact that no review can and ever will do her justice. (Including this one). If there was anything that I want to shower my stars over, it would hands down be her writing.
It's a different form of purple prose - she uses metaphors and long winded paragraphs to help tug the hearts of her readers and even though that is usually a hit or (definitive) miss with me, she really got it way over the ball park with this one!
Second chance romance and the friends to lovers trope is something that always makes my heart sing, so when Jeannine reached out to me and asked me to review one of her books - I fell hard for the possibility of falling for this story. In a way, I did and I didn't.
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The Romance
Now, please don't get me wrong because there a bunch of people out there that I KNOW would love this story, if they picked it up because true soul mate love stories are something that people can melt over. However, I found that a lot of the lines ran cheesy and cliche at times.
But on the other hand, there was some really cute moments and maybe I'm so used to assholes in the romance and NA genre that Hunter comes along and gave me absolute fucking whiplash. I'm talking die-hard book boyfriend material, this kid will go to the ends of the world for you, but then again he's Sherry's and I will fight you.
"Sometimes I made a pledge with myself: YOU MUST KISS HER IN ONE MINUTE."
I enjoyed the start more than the finish. This very rarely happens, it all felt backwards - I couldn't quite grasp why there was a need for such a long timed split (4 years) and the reasoning that we were given felt very halfway. Almost like I missed something! I also loved that we got to see them growing up and falling in love together and then doing it all over again, but whenever the time jumps happened I always felt like the voice and the speaker was the same. This also goes for the narration, because we got a dual POV - Hunter and Sherry seemed to have the same voice and that distinction between the two was hard to read sometimes.
"I’m holding my breath, and even though I know I’m going to come up for air, there’s this inevitable panic coursing through me. Even a little dizziness if I really pushed it. But deep down I’m calm because I know that oxygen is coming.” I paused, my eyes soaking it all in and committing this moment to memory. “You’re my oxygen, Sherry, and I know you’ll always come through for me. I trust you more than anyone.”
Overall, Unveiling Ghosts was a cute and light read and if you need something to pull on your heart strings but not have to think too much about the story or plot - then this one is for you <3 ...more
"My stomach was full of butterflies. With knives instead of wings."
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I saw the cover of Birds Of Paradise one day on my Facebook Feed "My stomach was full of butterflies. With knives instead of wings."
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I saw the cover of Birds Of Paradise one day on my Facebook Feed and what happened after that was a series of butterfly effects. I read the blurb, saw the teasers on the authors page and then somehow I was so enthralled with wanting to know more about the story, I requested an ARC.
I'm extremely conflicted on what rating to give this and whether or not I should give it a rating at all. I feel like there should be three things I explicitly state before getting into the actualities of the review.
i) This book is filled to the brim with heavy topics, and know that I cannot think of a trigger warning that will do any of them justice.
ii) This book is not for everyone. Seriously.
iii) This book, at least to me was more than just a dark romance. It was a comment on life and both the socratic and platonic way in which we live it.
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"May you see that broken is beautiful. The most beautiful of them all."
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The Writing
Dear Ms. Malcom,
If I could find the words to describe your words. Then maybe this review would turn out differently. There are phrases and sentences in your book that I can imagine paintings being based on and writers only dreaming of having written them themselves. This is more than a talent, and if there was one thing that kept me reading on - it was your ability to keep both your character captive and the reader too.
"A hollow shell with shards of my soul rattling around inside."
The Plot
I lost interest. I have been trying to find a polite way to say this the reason for my lack of interest after the 50% point could be due to reasons on me, not on the book. This was the first book that I read after going through a major book slump and believe it or not, sometimes that can affect your desire to read even the most beautiful of books. Secondly, the time jumps started to get under my skin, it felt very surreal and dissociative and maybe that was the point - Regardless, it did not work for me.
I felt like the plot dragged on in the latter 75% of the book and It was hard to keep myself invested. So to quantitatively put it into words.
- First 25% ⇒ 5 stars - Later 75% ⇒ 1 star
“You want to know your captor’s name?” I nodded once, even though the motion was near impossible with the weight of his stare. “Elizabeth Helen Hades is the name of your captor,” he said, his voice smoothing over the name fluidly. My name."
It's so hard for me because I know that I am going to be the black sheep. This book really has the potential to embed itself in so many hearts out there and it already has. It puts you in the heart of the action from the first chapter and you can see the careful and meticulous motifs and metaphors scattered around the paragraphs.
The author really put her heart and fucking soul into this book and I wish her nothing but the best on her future works.
"Some stories aren’t beautiful. Some lives aren’t beautiful. But those stories need to be told. And those lives need to be lived."
DNF at 44% There are so many levels of no that this book made me feel. I could not possibl"Little red riding hood fell for the wolf."
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DNF at 44% There are so many levels of no that this book made me feel. I could not possibly even begin to put this review into any systematic sense; so endure this one with me...
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The Characters I feel like stating that if I had to give a star to anything - anything at all, it would be how the two main characters met and the first maybe 3 (more like 2) chapters panned out.
Constantine and Dulcie are... an enigma
Probably not in the sense you're thinking, folks. I'm talking if Ted Bundy gave a TED (ever so welcome for the pun) talk - these two would be the only two fucking psychopaths sitting front and center wearing "Make America Dead Again" hats.
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"She thought maybe she didn't need oxygen anymore. He could just breathe for her."
There are multiple trigger warnings given by the author, and it would be wise to read them before you read this book. Con Masters and Dulcie Travers meet unexpectedly, but both of them have noticed each other before. It seems he is one of the only people that actually does notice her. Both of them fester a creature of darkness inside them that sparks and lights on fire when they are together.
Do they know this is harmful? Yes. What do they do? Kill people.
There a couple things I found that I hated besides the gore and the toxicity. Not that those weren't overkill because they are - even for my tastes. I enjoy dark romance because the author is explicitly stating that the novel that the reader is about to venture in is going to be something you must go in clear- minded and not looking to judge on the thinking processes of (most times than not) fucking sociopaths.
The Bad Ones was something else entirely. There's this shade called vantablack:
"Vantablack is the trademarked name for a chemical substance made of vertically aligned carbon nanotube arrays and is the darkest artificial substance known, absorbing up to 99.965% of radiation in the visible spectrum"
If ever there were to come a shit show that could uphold that kinda shade of fucked up - let me tell you about The Bad Ones...
"She wanted his darkness to swallow her whole. She wanted to be a part of it. She wanted to give her own darkness back to him."
The Bad and The Ugly (It Was A Buy 1 Get 1 Free Kinda Thing) Now don't get me wrong if this is you're kinda jam, then jam it out. Unfortunately, it was not mine. So to make everyone's life easier; I'm going to list some things that made me want to chug a Gordon's straight from the bottle.
- Dulcie the Doormat. God this one was so bad.If anything this aspect of the book took away at least 3 stars. It felt like the author was making up for how weak and constantly chasing she was with Con, by making her seem strong in other places. But all it ended up doing was having a flat and poorly executed character. Everytime Con left and came back 234o2912379 years later. There she was standing with a home-baked pot roast, and a massive "Welcome Home" smile on her face as if I didn't just read infinite number of chapters of her bitching about Con leaving her.
- The whiplash that I got from these characters nearly, just nearly made me rip my hair off. One minute they were yelling and the next they were dirty talking each other after nothing got resolved. It was like poorly written fan fiction that needs to give readers some angst and "ooh he's so mysterious" and "damn, i want to be her right now".... Shut the fuck up. Honestly, shut the fuck up. (Was that petty? That was probably petty - especially because I can totally imagine a 13 year old me hiding and reading smut and thinking those exact things...)
- It felt like the author was trying to one up herself each time with shock value. In a sense, their was too much of trying to make it as dark as possible, and that took away from any sort of storyline, plot or character development. I felt zero reliability with anything that happened, and everything - including the sex scenes were drier than the Sahara.
- The time jumps pissed me the fuck off. Time Jumps piss me off anyway if they have no significant meaning to the plot at hand. But this book had neither a plot, nor any sense to it - so it ended up making me want to scream.
“Dulcie,” he whispered, and for a moment, she wondered who he was talking to. Dulcie? Dulcie who? No Dulcie here. She's buried in a ditch by an abandoned train station."
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