Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

Pine Cove #2

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove

Rate this book
Reading a Christopher Moore novel is a little like eating a potato chip--it's hard to stop at just one. And you don't have to look beyond the titles to understand the allure; who could pass up a book called Practical Demonkeeping or Island of the Sequined Love Nun? Each of Moore's tales skewers a particular literary genre. In Coyote Blue he nailed New Age fascination with Native American religion; in Blood-Sucking Fiends: A Love Story he put a new twist on the classic vampire tale. The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove is a companion piece to his first novel, the hilariously twisted horror story Practical Demonkeeping, and readers of that book will recognize the setting, Pine Cove, California. In addition, Moore includes plenty of his patented weird sex, occasional gross-out death, several off-kilter but nonetheless affecting love stories, and some fabulous secondary characters such as Mavis Sand:
Mavis first began augmenting her parts in the fifties, first out of vanity: breasts, eyelashes, hair. Later, as she aged and the concept of maintenance eluded her, she began having parts replaced as they failed, until almost half of her body weight was composed of stainless steel (hips, elbows, shoulders, finger joints, rods fused to vertebrae five through twelve), silicon wafers (hearing aids, pacemaker, insulin pump), advanced polymer resins (cataract replacement lenses, dentures), Kevlar fabric (abdominal wall reinforcement), titanium (knees, ankles), and pork (ventricular heart valve).
In a nutshell, the plot revolves around a gigantic prehistoric lizard whose slumber deep beneath the ocean surface is interrupted by a radioactive leak from a nearby power plant. At the same time, a woman in Pine Cove hangs herself; the local psychiatrist (who has been prescribing antidepressants to everyone in town with gay abandon) decides the suicide was her fault and yanks everyone's medication; and an elderly black blues singer named Catfish Jefferson arrives to perform at the Head of the Slug saloon. Into this already strange brew mix one schizoid former B-movie starlet, a pot-head town constable, a bereaved local artist, a biologist tracking anomalous behavior in rats, a crooked sheriff, and a pharmacist with a bizarre sexual fixation on sea mammals, and you have a recipe for the kind of madness Moore does so well. --Alix Wilber

320 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 1, 1999

About the author

Christopher Moore

96 books90.7k followers
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Christopher Moore is an American writer of absurdist fiction. He grew up in Mansfield, OH, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, CA.

Moore's novels typically involve conflicted everyman characters suddenly struggling through supernatural or extraordinary circumstances. Inheriting a humanism from his love of John Steinbeck and a sense of the absurd from Kurt Vonnegut, Moore is a best-selling author with major cult status.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
9,744 (27%)
4 stars
13,897 (39%)
3 stars
9,487 (26%)
2 stars
1,757 (4%)
1 star
370 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,531 reviews
Profile Image for Karl.
3,258 reviews332 followers
April 1, 2018
“The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove” by Christopher Moore takes place in Pine Cove a small Pacific coast town of 5000. Over a third of the population served by local Dr. Valerie Riordan, has been rendered dependent on antidepressants.

Obsessive/compulsive cleaning freak, Bess Leander, is found hanged from a calico cloth rope, a possible suicide, and her friend Val fears she may have been overmedicating. Investigating the death, is the stoned town constable, Theophilus Crowe.

Val next blackmails fish-fetishist and local pharmacist Winston Krauss into giving all antidepressant users in town placebos instead of their regular medication. As the antidepressants wear off, a hilariously uncontrollable erotic revolution takes place in the formerly groggy and uninspired population. A simultaneous nuclear plant leak into the ocean awakens a serotonin-deficit sea beast named Steve, who descends on the town, who is disguised occasionally as a double-wide mobile home.

Enter Delta guitarist Catfish Jefferson who has recently been hired to play at the local ‘Head of the Slug Saloon’, where his marvelously sad blues has added to the local scene’s seductive narcosis. Fifty years ago down on the Delta, Catfish first met the Sea Beast, the hundred foot creature, Steve, that loved his steel guitar sound and has now risen from the depths.

This is laugh out loud funny and a bit zany at times.

This copy is signed by the author Christopher Moore.
Profile Image for Lyn.
1,931 reviews17k followers
April 7, 2017
Christopher Moore has a twisted sense of humor, his narrative style is Kurt Vonnegut meets the Adams family with a dose of John Steinbeck and a Faulkner chaser.

Very funny.

This one is set in his Pine Cove creation and concerns a Puff the magic dragon with a decidedly lascivious nature.

description
Profile Image for Richard Derus.
3,255 reviews2,120 followers
April 22, 2015
Rating: 3.5* of five

The Publisher Says: The town psychiatrist has decided to switch everybody in Pine Cove, California, from their normal antidepressants to placebos, so naturally—well, to be accurate, artificially—business is booming at the local blues bar. Trouble is, those lonely slide-guitar notes have also attracted a colossal sea beast named Steve with, shall we say, a thing for explosive oil tanker trucks. Suddenly, morose Pine Cove turns libidinous and is hit by a mysterious crime wave, and a beleaguered constable has to fight off his own gonzo appetites to find out what's wrong and what, if anything, to do about it.

My Review: Am I too old for this humor to make me do more than chuckle quietly and without conviction? Has my curmudgeonly mask become my face?

I'd say an instant yes and move on, light of heart and wreathed in smiles, were it not for this:
I think there was always some scrawny dreamer sitting at the edge of the firelight, who had the ability to imagine dangers, to look into the future in his imagination and see possibilities, and therefore survived to pass his genes on to the next generation.

Yep.

So up from the Mount of Despairing Good-Enough books! Yay, right? Um. I think, though, it's past time to take a flensing knife and cut to the heart of the Moore Mystique.

Let me know what y'all find. I ain't got so much as a sniff at a clue. Why does Good-Enough transmogrify into sales and gales of laughter?! Quick, someone post an excuse for laughing above the level a work deserves, I'm afraid my face will freeze this way!
57 reviews3 followers
May 19, 2008
When high school English teachers define fiction as "the willing suspension of disbelief", they should distribute copies of Christopher Moore's books to their students to illustrate the concept.

No matter how many time I shake my head or utter the words "he's warped" when I read Moore's books, I inevitably race through them, enjoying every word and chapter as though it were a big bowl of ice cream: deliciously satisfying and fun, fun, fun.

Really, what other author can make you believe that a sex-starved prehistoric sea monster and a former soft-porn actress have a deep, romantic relationship?

Moore is twisted and weird, and you really have to wonder what sort of childhood he had, but I hope he keeps cranking out the books because I have devoured every one of them.
Profile Image for Peter Tillman.
3,774 reviews424 followers
April 1, 2018
A pretty good humorous Cal-contemporary fantasy -- which opens with a sea monster mounting a gasoline tank-truck, with, well, explosive results: "... She was gone now, but [the Sea Beast] said, 'A simple No would have sufficed...'"

The Sea Beast (who's named 'Steve', by Kendra, Warrior Babe of the Outlands) "came to the surface in the middle of a kelp bed, his massive head breaking through strands of kelp like a zombie pickup truck breaking sod as it rises from the grave." Laurell K. Hamilton, take note.

'Steve' stirs up the animal spirits of the low-seritonin residents of Pine Cove (aka Cambria) -- of which there are many, as the town's sole psychiatrist has cut off their Prozac, surreptitiosly substituting sugar-pill placebos, with the connivance of the town's sole pharmacist, who satisfies his carnal urges with an inflatable dolphin in his bathtub....

[Dr. Val] came out of her office to find her new receptionist, Chloe, furiously masturbating, "her steno chair squeaking like a tortured squirrel."

"Sorry," Chloe said, a bit later... "I just want to stop. My wrist hurts a little. Do you think I could have carpal tunnel?"

Dr. Val, fearful of a workman's comp lawsuit, prescribes oven mitts, strapped on with duct tape.

Well, it's all good clean dopey romantic fun, though with more smiles than laughs, for me anyway, and not quite as good as this outline sounds -- but humor is tricky, and some of you will love it. 3,5 stars, by memory. Review written 2000.
Profile Image for Yael.
135 reviews17 followers
February 21, 2009
Valerie Riordan, the sole psychotherapist in Pine Cove, California, has switched all her patients' antidepressants to placebos -- a reaction to the apparent suicide of Bess Leander, one of her patients, who, Val thought, might have lived had Val done more talk therapy and less drug therapy. As a result, business is booming at The Head of the Slug, the local Blues bar, run by Mavis, whose clients swear that underneath her ancient, wrinkled, liver-spotted skin there lurks the Terminator. Problem: those lonely Blues notes from her new hire, Catfish Jefferson, have attracted the attention of an enormous, 5,000-year-old marine reptile named Steve who has a thing for petroleum tanker trucks.

With the advent of Steve, Pine Cove suddenly turns lustful and is hit by a weird crime wave with no understandable explanation. So Theophilus Crowe, the town constable, must find out what's wrong and what to do about it.

Enter all our other old friends from other novels of Moore's -- Molly Michon, the aging but still-beautiful and deadly Warrior Babe of the Outland (well, she was, until a stupid accident that wasn't her fault left her with a scar that got her canned by the movie studio); Mavis, proprietor of The Head of the Slug (originally named "The Head of the Wolf," but the local Greens decided the name was cruel to animals and forced her to change it); Dr. Val, the aforementioned psychiatrist; H. P., proprietor of H. P.'s Cafe, which features delicious delicacies such as Eggs Sothoth; Skinner, the happy-go-lucky idiot dog belonging to the Food Guy, biologist Gabe Fenton; and numerous others. Enter also some local villians who do meet timely, deserved, and hilarious ends, such as Sheriff John Burton, whose ranch hides a nasty secret, and who has been blackmailing pothead Theophilus Crowe into being the town constable for years; and Joseph Leander, the late Bess Leander's adulterous, murderous husband. With a less-than-together supporting cast of -- well, check them out for yourself.

As one reviewer said, Christopher Moore must have been laughing his head off while writing The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, and likely taking hits of nitrous oxide between sentences. The title alone is worth the price of the book, which could be substituted most successfully for every antidepressant in the pharmacy.

As a bonus, the biomedical and scientific aspects of this novel were researched down to the bare bones by the author. All that is missing from it is a lawsuit by Toho Productions for inappropriate appropriation of their star character (we know who he is!) -- and that may be forthcoming at any time.
Profile Image for Amanda.
282 reviews312 followers
January 15, 2009
Christopher Moore is, as always, a genius when it comes to the absurd and warped sense of humor that I enjoy oh-so-much. Who else could give us a plot that includes all of the following: a former B movie starlet who still lives the life of her most famous role as Kendra: Warrior Babe of the Wasteland, a sea beast with a vendetta against a wayward bluesman, a psychologist who decides to put the entire town on placebo anti-depressants instead of the real deal, a pharmacist with a fish fetish (yes, that's right), meth labs and drug dealers, interspecies love, and occasional chapters told from the point of view of a labrador retriever named Skinner? This is not for everyone--serious people need not apply. The plot is wacky and unbelievable; in other words, vintage Moore. While I really enjoyed the book and laughed often, the only reason I gave it 3 stars is that, when compared with his other books, I didn't like it quite as much as Bloodsucking Fiends and Fluke (Or I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings). However, the novel is well worth the time of anyone who already enjoys Moore or is discovering him for the first time.
Profile Image for Marvin.
1,414 reviews5,373 followers
May 3, 2011
The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove is a warm-hearted probe into the meaning of inter-species fornication; Fornication with giant lizards, sea mammals, gas trucks, and a ex-soft porn movie actress in Xena costumes with broad swords. In other words, just another day in Christopher Moore's brain. The author has his brain working over-time in this silly little romp. Maybe a little too silly even for Moore. Yet it remains very funny and entertaining. Moore revives some of his Pine Cove residents including H. P., Mavis, and the grass smoking sheriff, Theopolis Crow. Add Molly Michon, a has-been starlet and Steve, a perpetually horny sea lizard and you get the idea this is not exactly Cannery Row. But if you can't handle kinky situations and over-the-top slapstick comedy, why are you even considering a Christopher Moore novel?
Profile Image for Daniel Virtue.
61 reviews3 followers
March 11, 2011
I just finished reading this, and as I explained to my fiancee last night when I couldn't stop reading it: it does not hold up the qualities that are necessary for me to classify a book a good book; however it is great escapism. The characters are not real. The author does nor reveal anything to me in the telling of the story. He has awareness that he is writing escapism and I like that. He is not your typical escapism writer like James Patterson or John Grisham who turn out one load of crap after another, but never stop taking themselves seriously.

I like that his books are fun to read and I typically laugh out loud a few times during the read. Compared to my normal depressing books, it is nice to laugh and not think too much about everything he is trying to say.

If you have read any of Moore's books you know exactly what I am talking about. This one was better than the last two in the vampire series he was doing, but not as good as some of his more well known books.

I recommend it, if you are in a rut and just want to laugh a little, this book is great for that.
Profile Image for Kwoomac.
866 reviews41 followers
September 3, 2011
I'm not sure how this book ended up in my bookshelves, but there it was. As you may be able to guess from the title, this is not serious literature. The story takes place in a small town on the coast, where a 5,000 year old sea monster has been awakened. He has a taste for warm blooded animals, so he proceeds into town to snack on the townfolk. The unlikely hero of the story is the pothead town constable Theo Crowe. Theo and his friends decide to help the sea monster return to the sea, so he doesn't get hunted down and killed. Fortunately for everyone involved, the sea monster has only eaten badguys, so it's easy to root for him. Complete nonsense, this is a quick read, which leaves the reader as soon as the last page has been turned. Mindless escapism.
Profile Image for ᴥ Irena ᴥ.
1,652 reviews222 followers
May 30, 2014
2.5

You have to be high to read this.
Or drunk.
Or both. Yes, both would be best. Otherwise, the sheer amount of exaggerations would make you crazy.

With its title alone, you have to assume you'd have to suspend your disbelief completely. I don't mind that at all. It is supposed to be a silly book after all. But you don't get any respite from all the exaggerations. It's just goes on an on, one crazy situation or a person after another. After a while one gets tired of it.

I wonder if I am too serious to appreciate the type of humour in this book.
Profile Image for Donna.
4,193 reviews119 followers
July 12, 2018
This book wasn't my cup of tea. It started out as 1 star. Then it went up to 3, but then dropped again to 1, so I will settle on 2. This book was definitely creative. So hooray for that. But even with the creativity points, it was the "everything else" that wasn't pulling me in. I wanted to like this more, but I was just trying to get to the end.
13 reviews
June 30, 2014
Brief Synopsis: 'Lust Lizard' is set in Pine Cove, a small coastal town in Cali where the majority of the town has been taken off their anti-depressants on a whim by the one psychiatrist in town. There is a enormous sea creature masquerading as a trailer who happens to make people very horny (yes you read that sentence right). While all of this is happening, there is a underbelly of crime just simmering and waiting to overflow. Sound fun? Well it is.

Unlike Moore's other books, this one does take a while to get going. The absurd and hilarious doesn't present itself much before 70 to 80 pages in, but to his credit, he is developing characters during that time. Each chapter is written with intention to focus on the thought process of one character. Every character has his or her own sense of charm and quirky habits. You have a stoner constable who is best friends with a recluse biologist who owns a dog named Skinner (funniest internal monologue btw). Those are just three of many. Each character gets ample time to develop, and each forms their own tapestry very well.

There is nothing amazing or outstanding about the plot. The elements are all incredibly odd and don't seem like they would mesh quite right. (How can you expect a leather clad, broad sword wielding warrior princess to mix with a 80 year old blues singer???) But somehow it works. Yet, it all boils down to a simple, easy read. It's all in the presentation that makes this a hilarious ride.

This books goes places you would never expect with characters that you would never imagine. Its a great read, one you should take.
Profile Image for Abel.
Author 16 books100 followers
February 24, 2016
Me ha costado bastante puntuar este libro... digamos que le daría 3,5 estrellas pero que prefiero redondear hacia arriba que hacia abajo. Las estrellas son gratis, y eso me hace sentir mejor en este caso :)

Esta novela me ha recordado mucho a 'El ángel más tonto del mundo'. O al menos me ha recordado a lo que recuerdo de 'El ángel más tonto del mundo'. Algo es algo, que uno ya no tiene la cabeza en tan buen estado como hace 10 años largos.

La historia en sí no tiene demasiada chicha. Parece más bien un pretexto para hablar de Pine Cove y sus chiflados habitantes. Pero es que eso es más que suficiente en este caso. Una psiquiatra que la lía parda con la medicación de sus pacientes, un policía disfuncional, una actriz de películas de serie B en plena decadencia... y sobre todo una bestia marina que parece llegada de tiempos prehistóricos. Estos son algunos de los ingredientes de 'El monstruo que amaba a las gasolineras'.

Si queréis pasar un buen rato, dadle una oportunidad a esta novela.
Profile Image for Змей.
204 reviews39 followers
December 22, 2016
http://knigozavar.com/the-lust-lizard...

Крайморски град, пълен с депресирани хора и чудовище, което се храни с тях – каква невероятно забавна атмосфера! “Похотливецът от град Тъга“ съчетава тъгата на септември с разбирането на човешката душа и ги въплъщава в себе си със завиден писателски талант и фантазия.

Аз лично не се бях забавлявала така с мисленето на чудовище от Хайнлайновата „Звездния звяр“ и “Похотливецът от град Тъга“ ме върна във времената, в които книгите се пишеха от майстори, а не от хора без талант.

Ако успеете да си набавите книгата, препоръчвам я за изчитане от корица до корица и се надявам на тираж, за да мога да я купя и подарявам.

http://knigozavar.com/the-lust-lizard...
Profile Image for Kevin.
1,600 reviews34 followers
June 5, 2017
If you like Carl Hiaasen you should give Christopher Moore a try, while Hiaasen writes quirky mysteries set in Florida, Moore writes quirky fantasy/urban fantasy set in California. There similarities for me are the characters, these guys come up with the oddest set of characters.

I liked this book, but prefer the Fool, Love Story and Grim Reaper series.

Profile Image for Danny Foncke.
15 reviews1 follower
May 6, 2015
You like it or you don't - and I do ! Quirky twisted nonsense humor. Ideally for those moments you really do not want to question what you're reading but just want to enjoy it.

Before you start this book, check if you have a sense of humor - if not, move on.
Profile Image for Susan.
68 reviews
July 13, 2010
I tried listening to this book as I fell asleep. Big mistake. I fell out of bed laughing at least three times.
Profile Image for Michael Grove.
10 reviews
December 18, 2012
Possibly the most low-brow novel I've ever finished, this book will take several points off your IQ. But what can I say, it's a guilty pleasure to read about stoners and sex-crazed dragons.
Profile Image for Jamie Collins.
1,472 reviews312 followers
June 14, 2017
Some amusing bits, but this won’t be one of my favorite Moore books. It started off well, but I enjoyed it less and less as I read. I usually enjoy the first half of his books more than the second half; I suppose it’s because I like his characters more than his ridiculous plots.

This story returns to Pine Cove, where the inhabitants are going a little nuts, because in a fit of misplaced guilt, the local psychiatrist has taken all of her patients off their antidepressant medications. Also a giant sea monster has come ashore and is psychically transmitting lust to the locals. Hilarity ensues.

This is occasionally too sexually crude for my taste, and I also didn’t like the scattering of brutal murders mixed in with such a silly comedic story.
Profile Image for Keli.
612 reviews52 followers
November 17, 2022
I have never laughed so hard in all my life. LOVED IT! Ridiculous hilarity. If you'd like to forget your own life for awhile and have a great laugh in the process, then the Lust Lizard might be the thing for you.
Profile Image for Maria Beltrami.
Author 26 books70 followers
April 29, 2016
Un po' Drive in e Hap & Leonard, un po' Non è un paese per vecchi, abbastanza sconclusionato, con diversi passaggi decisamente esilaranti. In realtà un attacco feroce alla mania tutta americana di uniformare la varietà dei comportamenti umani mediante l'uso della psichiatria e degli psicofarmaci.
Profile Image for John of Canada.
1,024 reviews57 followers
April 26, 2018
Monsters,weird monster sex,human sacrifices,drugs,interspecies relationships,several unreliable narrators,everything you could want in a book.I find I have to read Moore very carefully,because he slides in hilarious comments at the strangest moments.
Profile Image for Michelle.
497 reviews164 followers
February 5, 2024
This book was one of the strangest books I have ever read. I was so confused at parts, but it also kept me entertained.
Profile Image for KB.
159 reviews4 followers
November 30, 2019
The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove offers the trademark fantastic storytelling and laugh-out-loud humor that a reader comes to expect from Christopher Moore. As far as consistently hilarious and well-written fiction is concerned, this author occupies a league of his own.
Lust Lizard fits neatly between Practical Demonkeeping and The Stupidest Angel in the chronology of Moore's oeuvre. These three novels share a setting and a number of delightfully memorable characters, although each can be enjoyed as stand-alone story.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,531 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.