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Diddly Squat #1
Diddly Squat: A Year on the Farm
Welcome to Jeremy's farm. It's an idyllic spot, offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows, woodlands and natural springs. Jeremy always liked the idea being a farmer. But, while he was barrelling around the world having more fun with cars than was entirely reasonable, it seemed obvious that the actual, you know, farming was much better left to someone else
Then one day he decided he would do the farming himself.
After all, how hard could it be?
Well . . .
Faced with suffocating red tape, biblical weather, local objections, a global pandemic and his own frankly staggering ignorance of how to 'do farming', Jeremy soon realises that turning the farm around is going to take more than splashing out on a massive tractor.
Fortunately, there's help at hand from a large and (mostly) willing team, including girlfriend Lisa, Kaleb the Tractor Driver, Cheerful Charlie, Ellen the Shepherd and Gerald, his Head of Security and Dry Stone Waller. Between them they enthusiastically cultivate crops, rear livestock and hens, keep bees, bottle spring water and open a farm shop. But profits remain elusive.
And yet while the farm may be called Diddly Squat for good reason, Jeremy soon begins to understand that it's worth a whole lot more to him than pounds, shillings and pence . . .
Then one day he decided he would do the farming himself.
After all, how hard could it be?
Well . . .
Faced with suffocating red tape, biblical weather, local objections, a global pandemic and his own frankly staggering ignorance of how to 'do farming', Jeremy soon realises that turning the farm around is going to take more than splashing out on a massive tractor.
Fortunately, there's help at hand from a large and (mostly) willing team, including girlfriend Lisa, Kaleb the Tractor Driver, Cheerful Charlie, Ellen the Shepherd and Gerald, his Head of Security and Dry Stone Waller. Between them they enthusiastically cultivate crops, rear livestock and hens, keep bees, bottle spring water and open a farm shop. But profits remain elusive.
And yet while the farm may be called Diddly Squat for good reason, Jeremy soon begins to understand that it's worth a whole lot more to him than pounds, shillings and pence . . .
208 pages, Hardcover
First published November 11, 2021
About the author
Jeremy Clarkson
62 books876 followersJeremy Charles Robert Clarkson (born April 11, 1960) is an English broadcaster and writer who specialises in motoring.
He writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun, but is better known for his role on the BBC television programme Top Gear.
From a career as a local journalist in the north of England, he rose to public prominence as a presenter of the original format of Top Gear in 1988. Since the mid-1990s Clarkson has become a recognised public personality, regularly appearing on British television presenting his own shows and appearing as a guest on other shows. As well as motoring, Clarkson has produced programmes and books on subjects such as history and engineering. From 1998 to 2000 he also hosted his own chat show, Clarkson.
His opinionated but humorous tongue-in-cheek writing and presenting style has often generated much public reaction to his viewpoints. His actions both privately and as a Top Gear presenter have also sometimes resulted in criticism from the media, politicians, pressure groups and the public.
As well as the criticism levelled against him, Clarkson also generated a significant following in the public at large, being credited as a factor in the resurgence of Top Gear to the most popular show on BBC Two, and calls for him to be made Prime Minister. Clarkson himself was keen to downplay his perceived influence on the British public, stating he regularly contradicts himself, and would make a "rubbish" Prime Minister.
He writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun, but is better known for his role on the BBC television programme Top Gear.
From a career as a local journalist in the north of England, he rose to public prominence as a presenter of the original format of Top Gear in 1988. Since the mid-1990s Clarkson has become a recognised public personality, regularly appearing on British television presenting his own shows and appearing as a guest on other shows. As well as motoring, Clarkson has produced programmes and books on subjects such as history and engineering. From 1998 to 2000 he also hosted his own chat show, Clarkson.
His opinionated but humorous tongue-in-cheek writing and presenting style has often generated much public reaction to his viewpoints. His actions both privately and as a Top Gear presenter have also sometimes resulted in criticism from the media, politicians, pressure groups and the public.
As well as the criticism levelled against him, Clarkson also generated a significant following in the public at large, being credited as a factor in the resurgence of Top Gear to the most popular show on BBC Two, and calls for him to be made Prime Minister. Clarkson himself was keen to downplay his perceived influence on the British public, stating he regularly contradicts himself, and would make a "rubbish" Prime Minister.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 733 reviews
May 15, 2022
Review What I most learned from this book, was that government decisions on the environment can have devastating effects, I had not heard of these examples. They came after major interference on what the author needed to do with a water supply for his crops.
He says that when he went to Tierra del Fuego he was staggered by the number of fallen trees - every single one of them for miles on end.
Another stupidity is Food Standards insisting on a 'best before' date on honey jars. Honey never, ever goes off, as he puts it,"They could have buried a rack of it with Tutankhamun and it would still be as delicious today as it was then." I always wondered why water drawn from wells, such as Perrier had a 'best before' date. It was rainwater once but it's been sitting underground for millenia, or perhaps even millions of years. It isn't likely to go off any time soon!
I enjoyed the book. It was a year in the life of a very, very wealthy man trying to be a farmer since Covid had cut his car-reviewing career down to naught. He bought Lamborghini tractors! He called his farm Diddly Squat because that's what it made: nothing. But he has a farm shop that he and other locals (etc?) supply and his name and fame has ensured its success.
He does have some very strange ideas and metaphors, he thinks of sheep as truculent teenage boys with a suicide wish. He thinks that popstars like Sting ought to own lots of farms, be given them in fact, as they would manage them according to the way livestock and plants do best in a likely organic and unpolluting way, not being concerned about an actual return on funds, unlike farmers, bankers and people who care more about money than the land. We still need feeding Jeremy!
Jeremy's strong point is he is a fantastic writer, this book was originally columns in a Sunday newspaper, his weak point is, well he doesn't have one. 5 stars. Jolly good read.
__________
Notes on reading Following on from Theodore Dalrymple's snarky Second Opinion: A Doctor's Dispatches from the British Inner City another unreconstructed author writing a non-pc, (or is the word non-woke these days?) book about the times. The differences are that Dalrymple is grumpy and a Luddite, and that Clarkson is cheery and very progressive. The similarities are that both the government and all its functionaries are mostly dickheads with idiotic ideas and 'more than my jobsworth' type ideas. It is much more enjoyable than I thought a book about a farm would be.
__________
The author says a murderous cow mashed up his testicles with a kick and head butt, lol but not lol, metro DOT co DOT uk/2022/01/04/jeremy-clarksons-testicles-smashed-after-attack-from-cow-15860392/
He says that when he went to Tierra del Fuego he was staggered by the number of fallen trees - every single one of them for miles on end.
This was as a direct result of a 1946 Argentine wilding project that brought ten pairs of beavers to the area from Canada. There are now more than 100,000 animals, and recent research has revealed they’ve been responsible for the biggest landscaping alteration in sub-Antarctic forests in the past 10,000 years."It's not just adding animals that does that amount of damage to trees, it's also taking them away.
When America created Yellowstone National Park, experts reckoned that visitors would not want to be eaten. So it was decided to get rid of the wolves. But with no wolves, elks flourished to such an extent that all the aspen and willow trees were eaten, and the effects of that wiped out countless other species, including the beaver.The author complains that the government is replanting forests with single species trees, so that should a disease, like Dutch Elm strike the UK, whole forests will die.
Another stupidity is Food Standards insisting on a 'best before' date on honey jars. Honey never, ever goes off, as he puts it,"They could have buried a rack of it with Tutankhamun and it would still be as delicious today as it was then." I always wondered why water drawn from wells, such as Perrier had a 'best before' date. It was rainwater once but it's been sitting underground for millenia, or perhaps even millions of years. It isn't likely to go off any time soon!
I enjoyed the book. It was a year in the life of a very, very wealthy man trying to be a farmer since Covid had cut his car-reviewing career down to naught. He bought Lamborghini tractors! He called his farm Diddly Squat because that's what it made: nothing. But he has a farm shop that he and other locals (etc?) supply and his name and fame has ensured its success.
He does have some very strange ideas and metaphors, he thinks of sheep as truculent teenage boys with a suicide wish. He thinks that popstars like Sting ought to own lots of farms, be given them in fact, as they would manage them according to the way livestock and plants do best in a likely organic and unpolluting way, not being concerned about an actual return on funds, unlike farmers, bankers and people who care more about money than the land. We still need feeding Jeremy!
Jeremy's strong point is he is a fantastic writer, this book was originally columns in a Sunday newspaper, his weak point is, well he doesn't have one. 5 stars. Jolly good read.
__________
Notes on reading Following on from Theodore Dalrymple's snarky Second Opinion: A Doctor's Dispatches from the British Inner City another unreconstructed author writing a non-pc, (or is the word non-woke these days?) book about the times. The differences are that Dalrymple is grumpy and a Luddite, and that Clarkson is cheery and very progressive. The similarities are that both the government and all its functionaries are mostly dickheads with idiotic ideas and 'more than my jobsworth' type ideas. It is much more enjoyable than I thought a book about a farm would be.
__________
The author says a murderous cow mashed up his testicles with a kick and head butt, lol but not lol, metro DOT co DOT uk/2022/01/04/jeremy-clarksons-testicles-smashed-after-attack-from-cow-15860392/
October 10, 2022
This book is classic Clarkson filled with all his wit and humor, but this time about his new, and serious, job. During Covid, Jeremy tries his hand at farming on his land that he has owned for quite a few years after his farm manager retires. What we end up with is someone that really does not know what he is doing, but still tries his best while listening to nobody's advice. The book is made up from his Sunday Times column writings, and it is fabulously funny.
On a series note, as a farmer I could relate to all his problems he has on the farm, from the weather to the prices he receives for his hard work with his products, to the trouble he has with regulations to be able to produce these products, and just with his livestock. He has shed a big light on the plight of farmers worldwide where consumers want the cheapest product (yet they want the best product), but the input costs just keep skyrocketing and the majority of farmers are just struggling to survive post-Covid. He has done a lot for the farming community with his show, and for that I applaud him.
If you love Clarkson's shows and writing, you will love this book, if you don't like him, stay away as you will probably be offended...
On a series note, as a farmer I could relate to all his problems he has on the farm, from the weather to the prices he receives for his hard work with his products, to the trouble he has with regulations to be able to produce these products, and just with his livestock. He has shed a big light on the plight of farmers worldwide where consumers want the cheapest product (yet they want the best product), but the input costs just keep skyrocketing and the majority of farmers are just struggling to survive post-Covid. He has done a lot for the farming community with his show, and for that I applaud him.
If you love Clarkson's shows and writing, you will love this book, if you don't like him, stay away as you will probably be offended...
December 15, 2021
I really enjoyed this one. I watched and loved Clarkson's Farm after being pretty nervous that Jeremy might royally take the biscuit with farming, but in fact, actually took it pretty seriously and managed to bring a lot of attention to the Farming Industry and to Agriculture also. I think what he's done for the industry is fantastic, and I really enjoyed the way this book went into the TV show a little more in depth. The audio book is great, having been narrated by Jeremy himself.
I would also like to recommend - if you're looking for more books on Farming - Call me Red by Hannah Jackson. Huge inspiration for young girls and women in the farming industry.
I would also like to recommend - if you're looking for more books on Farming - Call me Red by Hannah Jackson. Huge inspiration for young girls and women in the farming industry.
April 3, 2022
So, being utterly and completely uninterested in cars*, I have obviously not a clue of who Jeremy Clarkson is and what makes him famous**
* Well, I mean, no-one is completely uninterested in cars, are they? I mean, who's unaffected by the Aston Martin DB5 zooming through the Furka Pass in Goldfinger or the improved Ford Falcon raced across Aussie desert highways by Max Rockatansky? What I mean is that when someone starts talking about torque differences between the new WV Golf 4.3 and the 4.33 QUAT and the 4.zzz..
Also, when someone thinks it's an enviable knowledge to know this by heart (or even more when someone says cr*p like "I was able to test the new automatic because thankfully I was able to shift gears manually and I'm much better than any automation") this is what makes me simultaneously roll my eyes hard enough to lose balance, laugh so hard so I lose my breath and fall asleep from pure boredom. In short - it's not good for me.
** Well, obviously I know quite well who Jeremy Clarkson is, in the part of the world where I live, I'd have to live under a rock not to, wouldn't I?
Anyway - apart from Clarkson being "the car guy", the little I knew of him I had a sneaking suspicion he'd be into a bit of Benny Hill innuendo and slapstick and crude and far-fetched puns. Or what in Sweden is known as "Gothenburg humour" or "maybe if I continuously bang my head on the table it will go away?".
As an aside - I surprise myself by having quite a bit of patience with the English version of this humour, but I think it may have to do with the fact that it's not told in the horrible Gothenburg accent. And just to not be too hard on Gothenburg, it needs to be said that I spent most of my mandatory military service there and that probably coloured my perception of it (not really, seriously, stay away!)
So, imagine my pleasant surprise when I realised that not only can the man write, he's actually often both insightful, witty and funny! Even the annoying, sexist, toff, embarrassing-old-uncle remarks are delivered with such a healthy dose of self-awareness and -mockery so they work quite well. A quick, charming and even laugh out loud fun read with some quite serious nibbles of food for thought.
* Well, I mean, no-one is completely uninterested in cars, are they? I mean, who's unaffected by the Aston Martin DB5 zooming through the Furka Pass in Goldfinger or the improved Ford Falcon raced across Aussie desert highways by Max Rockatansky? What I mean is that when someone starts talking about torque differences between the new WV Golf 4.3 and the 4.33 QUAT and the 4.zzz..
Also, when someone thinks it's an enviable knowledge to know this by heart (or even more when someone says cr*p like "I was able to test the new automatic because thankfully I was able to shift gears manually and I'm much better than any automation") this is what makes me simultaneously roll my eyes hard enough to lose balance, laugh so hard so I lose my breath and fall asleep from pure boredom. In short - it's not good for me.
** Well, obviously I know quite well who Jeremy Clarkson is, in the part of the world where I live, I'd have to live under a rock not to, wouldn't I?
Anyway - apart from Clarkson being "the car guy", the little I knew of him I had a sneaking suspicion he'd be into a bit of Benny Hill innuendo and slapstick and crude and far-fetched puns. Or what in Sweden is known as "Gothenburg humour" or "maybe if I continuously bang my head on the table it will go away?".
As an aside - I surprise myself by having quite a bit of patience with the English version of this humour, but I think it may have to do with the fact that it's not told in the horrible Gothenburg accent. And just to not be too hard on Gothenburg, it needs to be said that I spent most of my mandatory military service there and that probably coloured my perception of it (not really, seriously, stay away!)
So, imagine my pleasant surprise when I realised that not only can the man write, he's actually often both insightful, witty and funny! Even the annoying, sexist, toff, embarrassing-old-uncle remarks are delivered with such a healthy dose of self-awareness and -mockery so they work quite well. A quick, charming and even laugh out loud fun read with some quite serious nibbles of food for thought.
June 9, 2022
Having loved the series I really wanted to read the book. I’m so glad I did it was so funny and also very interesting I learnt a lot about crops, bees, pigs and sheeps. The book isn’t very long and has short chapters but, it’s so entertaining and enjoyable that it was a pleasure to read.
December 20, 2022
Would’ve been an entertaining book if you can ignore the homo/transphobia, the hate towards vegetarians and vegans and the left-wing hate. Unfortunately I cannot ignore that.
January 8, 2022
vabandust, aga mulle Clarksoni farmiseriaal hirmsasti meeldis; ja Clarkson ise, kes enne üldse ei meeldinud, muutus seeläbi kõvasti sümpaatsemaks. nii läheb, kui üks mees lihtsalt ausalt tunnistab, et ta ei saa absoluutselt aru, mida ta teeb, ja et tema obsessioon suurte kallite traktorite ja ekskavaatorite suhtes ei ole kellegi jaoks hästi lõppenud. mõned lambad ja mesilased sinna juurde ei tee ka üldse paha.
see audioraamat pole muidugi mingi õige raamat, vaid Clarkson loeb lihtsalt ette oma Timesi kolumne sellest ajaperioodist, ja osasid neist olen lausa enne lugema sattunud. aga mitte kõiki, pluss audioversiooni on ta vürtsitanud mõnede lisakommentaaridega, mida ma eestikeelset paberversiooni poes lapates trükis küll ei näinud. näiteks üks paremaid kolumne, kus ta üsna veenvalt ära tõestas, et kogu Ühendkuningriigi maa tuleks anda rikkuritele a la Sting, kes saaksid seal looduslikku mitmekesisust hoida ja orgaanilist toitu kasvatada, ilma muretsemata, et see ära ei tasu - sellele oli ta audios nii ette kui taha lisanud kommentaari, et see on erakordselt idiootlik idee ja ta ei saa aru, kuidas ta midagi sellist üldse kirja sai panna.
ühesõnaga, nii Jeremy Clarkson kui talupidamine kui üdini britilik self-deprecation on täiega omandatud maitse ja ma ei saa midagi ette heita kellelegi, kellele ei meeldi, aga mulle isiklikult meeldib.
see audioraamat pole muidugi mingi õige raamat, vaid Clarkson loeb lihtsalt ette oma Timesi kolumne sellest ajaperioodist, ja osasid neist olen lausa enne lugema sattunud. aga mitte kõiki, pluss audioversiooni on ta vürtsitanud mõnede lisakommentaaridega, mida ma eestikeelset paberversiooni poes lapates trükis küll ei näinud. näiteks üks paremaid kolumne, kus ta üsna veenvalt ära tõestas, et kogu Ühendkuningriigi maa tuleks anda rikkuritele a la Sting, kes saaksid seal looduslikku mitmekesisust hoida ja orgaanilist toitu kasvatada, ilma muretsemata, et see ära ei tasu - sellele oli ta audios nii ette kui taha lisanud kommentaari, et see on erakordselt idiootlik idee ja ta ei saa aru, kuidas ta midagi sellist üldse kirja sai panna.
ühesõnaga, nii Jeremy Clarkson kui talupidamine kui üdini britilik self-deprecation on täiega omandatud maitse ja ma ei saa midagi ette heita kellelegi, kellele ei meeldi, aga mulle isiklikult meeldib.
January 28, 2022
Gorgeous, gorgeous girls fancy Jeremy Clarkson over Richard Hammond.
All jokes aside, some of this was pretty interesting and will give a nice introduction of biodiversity and the environment to people who would never usually be concerned about it.
Miraculously, I thought I’d get through the book without reading anything problematic. However, close to the end you get Clarkson making several snarky comments about transgender issues and pronouns like ‘what the lefties also can’t understand, because they’re too busy deciding whether to go to the women’s lavatory or the men’s’.
These comments weren’t related to the subject matter of the book at all, were unnecessary and from as far as I can tell, were made for the sole purpose of shocking people and being controversial.
December 31, 2023
Just as I expected, Jeremy telling us about his farming adventures and misfortunes with the eloquence that represents him with the added witty humour.
I’m not always keen on him, but his higher level humour is something that keeps me coming back, and this book did not disappoint, other than the fact that it was too short I have nothing to complain about.
I got what I was looking for, stories told in a way that would make me laugh out loud.
I’m not always keen on him, but his higher level humour is something that keeps me coming back, and this book did not disappoint, other than the fact that it was too short I have nothing to complain about.
I got what I was looking for, stories told in a way that would make me laugh out loud.
March 1, 2023
For my full review, visit me at https://mrsbrownsbooks.wordpress.com/...
Having thoroughly enjoyed the recent television series, I was keen to get my hands on this book. But, I am glad I waited several months before reading as it meant that what I saw on screen was not so familiar and a copy of what I read in the book.
Having thoroughly enjoyed the recent television series, I was keen to get my hands on this book. But, I am glad I waited several months before reading as it meant that what I saw on screen was not so familiar and a copy of what I read in the book.
November 10, 2021
Had me crying laughing over the sheep!
May 18, 2022
I’ve always enjoyed Clarkson’s unabashed commentary on everything from cars to whatever. I might not agree with some of his thoughts, but that’s fine. I still respect his direct approach to life, never afraid to share his views. With Diddly Squat, he takes on the farming community and does justice to it. There are funny moments, but there’s a seriousness to the theme wherein he treats the industry with the kind of respect it deserves. I haven’t seen the tv series around the book yet, but I hope to see it soon.
May 28, 2023
After Great Britain is hit by 2 catastrophes: Covid and Brexit, the author-journalist Jeremy Clarkson takes on the challenge of running a farm for a year. He explains his journey as bite-size articles throughout all seasons from tending animals such as vengeful sheep, to cultivating crops that he has never heard anything of. He faces the unpredictable weather with a great sense of humor.
This book is absolutely hilarious, and what I find perhaps the best about it, is that the author is mature enough to make jokes at his own expense and at his own foolishness when it comes to farming. He admits, that he is just a rookie and knows nothing about any other topics than cars and engines. Yet, Clarkson is surprised to learn, that operating his Lamborghini tractor is not his best competence either. It is an easy and light-hearted read and I recommend reading it for anyone who is looking for a fit of laughter.
This book is absolutely hilarious, and what I find perhaps the best about it, is that the author is mature enough to make jokes at his own expense and at his own foolishness when it comes to farming. He admits, that he is just a rookie and knows nothing about any other topics than cars and engines. Yet, Clarkson is surprised to learn, that operating his Lamborghini tractor is not his best competence either. It is an easy and light-hearted read and I recommend reading it for anyone who is looking for a fit of laughter.
February 4, 2024
Diddly Squat: A Year on the Farm by Jeremy Clarkson (2021) 208 pages.
Diddly Squat...because that's what his farm produced.
I love Jeremy Clarkson! Last year, Ben and I binged on his newest series, “Clarkson Farm”. We couldn’t get enough. He’s very entertaining. The book is good, but watching Clarkson on television is 100% better than reading about his hilarious farming woes. He was forced into this new farming adventure when lockdowns from Covid-19 and Brexit came about at the same time. He was no longer able to test drive the cars to write about, so he went right into farming…and thank God he’s loaded down with money because he sure needed it.
He has the worst luck. Then, add to the fact that he’s a conservative and every move he tried to make was constantly being blocked by stupid leftist ideologies. From watching the series, he literally had to fight for every little thing. He holds his own and I love his whole attitude despite all the mishaps and the pressure from the local towns people. None of his stuff ended up “in the pond” like a lot of Ben's stuff did around here. LOL!
I love the show so much that I even bought a Diddly Squat t-shirt, featuring his Lamborghini tractor, which was way too big and way too powerful for a first-time farmer, but the deal was done. He owned it! That was his first big, expensive mistake on his farm.
Another series was supposed to come out this year, I think, but I’m not sure if it’s out yet.
Diddly Squat...because that's what his farm produced.
I love Jeremy Clarkson! Last year, Ben and I binged on his newest series, “Clarkson Farm”. We couldn’t get enough. He’s very entertaining. The book is good, but watching Clarkson on television is 100% better than reading about his hilarious farming woes. He was forced into this new farming adventure when lockdowns from Covid-19 and Brexit came about at the same time. He was no longer able to test drive the cars to write about, so he went right into farming…and thank God he’s loaded down with money because he sure needed it.
He has the worst luck. Then, add to the fact that he’s a conservative and every move he tried to make was constantly being blocked by stupid leftist ideologies. From watching the series, he literally had to fight for every little thing. He holds his own and I love his whole attitude despite all the mishaps and the pressure from the local towns people. None of his stuff ended up “in the pond” like a lot of Ben's stuff did around here. LOL!
I love the show so much that I even bought a Diddly Squat t-shirt, featuring his Lamborghini tractor, which was way too big and way too powerful for a first-time farmer, but the deal was done. He owned it! That was his first big, expensive mistake on his farm.
Another series was supposed to come out this year, I think, but I’m not sure if it’s out yet.
April 27, 2023
Diddly Squat – A Year on the Farm is the companion book to the first series of Clarkson’s Farm, and like the series, it follows Jeremy Clarkson as he stumbles through learning how to actually be a farmer in his famous, bumbling ‘I’m a complete idiot,’ style.
His sheep are trying to kill him. His pigs are re-enacting The Great Escape. He wants a chainsaw but he’s afraid of them, and he constantly worries that he’ll walk home some day with his severed arm in a bag.
And, just like the series, the book is brilliant. There are laugh out loud moments, and then there’s the serious part.
Clarkson finds himself, like all farmers, up against the vagaries of the British weather. It’s too hot, it’s too cold. It’s too dry, it’s too wet. He battles red tape, new regulations, and the devastating damage Brexit has caused to farming. The Government, and the exhausting, continuous hard work just to try and make a living from the soil.
In one short comedic series, and book, Clarkson has done more to highlight the plight of farming in Britain today, and, as he says, he does this to earn 40p a day. He speaks of the high injury/death rate due to farm accidents and the terribly high rate of suicides in farming. And he speaks from the heart because, despite all the hardship—he knows that without his other income from TV shows he would have gone under a long time ago—he loves what he is doing.
And “on that bombshell” I’m giving this book five stars.
His sheep are trying to kill him. His pigs are re-enacting The Great Escape. He wants a chainsaw but he’s afraid of them, and he constantly worries that he’ll walk home some day with his severed arm in a bag.
And, just like the series, the book is brilliant. There are laugh out loud moments, and then there’s the serious part.
Clarkson finds himself, like all farmers, up against the vagaries of the British weather. It’s too hot, it’s too cold. It’s too dry, it’s too wet. He battles red tape, new regulations, and the devastating damage Brexit has caused to farming. The Government, and the exhausting, continuous hard work just to try and make a living from the soil.
In one short comedic series, and book, Clarkson has done more to highlight the plight of farming in Britain today, and, as he says, he does this to earn 40p a day. He speaks of the high injury/death rate due to farm accidents and the terribly high rate of suicides in farming. And he speaks from the heart because, despite all the hardship—he knows that without his other income from TV shows he would have gone under a long time ago—he loves what he is doing.
And “on that bombshell” I’m giving this book five stars.
April 30, 2022
Those who are having The Grand Tour withdrawal symptoms may or may not enjoy Jeremy Clarkson’s life on the farm. If you’ve missed it, Jeremy decided to give farming a go at his home in the Cotswolds and it can be seen as the limited series Clarkson’s Farm on Amazon Prime. This book is a collection of his newspaper columns about life on the farm. Some may have read them already, but I hadn’t. I think I enjoyed them even more than his car columns.
The book is divided into seasons, then months of life on the farm covering just over one year. Unfortunately for Jeremy, that year was 2020 so things were made even more difficult with COVID-19 and lockdowns. It covers general farm stuff, from tractors (Jeremy’s is a Lamborghini), the problems of hitching up anything to said tractor and the problem of fitting that tractor into the shed. I found the sections on sheep particularly funny and the things that they do that frustrated Jeremy no end. There are other things that frustrated Jeremy too, such as the control the government has over what is grown, Brexit laws changing the way things work (like having seeds stuck in France with no way out) and general government bureaucracy. Then add on frustrating farmer things, like the wrong weather at the wrong time, mending fence posts and the price the farmer is paid for goods. Like the name of his farm, the farmer makes diddly squat.
Clarkson raises a number of issues with farming in the UK that the general public wouldn’t know about, which seem to be quite a bit different to in Australia as the government seems to have more control over what is grown. I enjoyed comparing what I know of Aussie farming with Clarkson’s experience in the UK (I still can’t get over that each field has a name). The columns are humorous, easy to understand and give an insight into different aspects of farming (right down to the farm shop). It’s clear that even for all its frustrations, Clarkson enjoys farming and it really shows through his writing. There’s a sense of pride and love in sharing his farming life.
http://samstillreading.wordpress.com
The book is divided into seasons, then months of life on the farm covering just over one year. Unfortunately for Jeremy, that year was 2020 so things were made even more difficult with COVID-19 and lockdowns. It covers general farm stuff, from tractors (Jeremy’s is a Lamborghini), the problems of hitching up anything to said tractor and the problem of fitting that tractor into the shed. I found the sections on sheep particularly funny and the things that they do that frustrated Jeremy no end. There are other things that frustrated Jeremy too, such as the control the government has over what is grown, Brexit laws changing the way things work (like having seeds stuck in France with no way out) and general government bureaucracy. Then add on frustrating farmer things, like the wrong weather at the wrong time, mending fence posts and the price the farmer is paid for goods. Like the name of his farm, the farmer makes diddly squat.
Clarkson raises a number of issues with farming in the UK that the general public wouldn’t know about, which seem to be quite a bit different to in Australia as the government seems to have more control over what is grown. I enjoyed comparing what I know of Aussie farming with Clarkson’s experience in the UK (I still can’t get over that each field has a name). The columns are humorous, easy to understand and give an insight into different aspects of farming (right down to the farm shop). It’s clear that even for all its frustrations, Clarkson enjoys farming and it really shows through his writing. There’s a sense of pride and love in sharing his farming life.
http://samstillreading.wordpress.com
May 31, 2022
some of the the book had the classic Clarkson humour as he talks about farming and his attempts at it and the red tape you have to go through and general stuff about farming , it is funny in parts
November 14, 2022
Definitely not one to read if your looking for anything serious, however, as a light hearted read from a grumpy old man who hasn't got a clue its a refreshing read. An insight into an idiot who doesn't know what he is doing but makes it a hilarious journey. Diddly Squat has remade Jeremy into more than the man that was cruising in supercars and blowing up caravans and the book actually praises the beautiful simplicities but brutal hard work in the agricultural sector as well as highlights the hardships faced by the real men and women fighting to keep the country fed.
August 23, 2022
25% of the time I don't agree with what Clarkson has to say. 25% of the time I don't even understand what he's talking about. Yet if he's on the telly, I'll watch it. There's something so entertaining and endearing about Clarkson and he never fails to make me laugh.
I listened to the audiobook for this which I would 100% recommend. It was so fun to hear him narrate his own experiences on the farm and I even learned a lot about farming and the political landscape in which it is situated.
I listened to the audiobook for this which I would 100% recommend. It was so fun to hear him narrate his own experiences on the farm and I even learned a lot about farming and the political landscape in which it is situated.
January 10, 2022
Endise Briti huumorisaate Top Gear juht otsustas pärast mitut pööret oma elus teha järgmise järsu kurvi ja hakata farmi pidama. Ta olla selle juba ammu ostnud, kuid selle eest hoolitseja otsustas minna pensionile ning selle asemel, et otsida uus sarnane ametimees, otsustas Clarkson asja ise käsile võtta. Eks aitas kaasa ka Covid-19, mis täpselt siis kõik 6 jala 7 pöidla ja 9 küüne pikkuste impeeriumi mõõduühikute kaugusele karantiini surus.
Jeremy kirjeldab, miks põllupidamine pisikesel skaalal on tõsine väljakutse ja kallis hobi. Ning seda kõike kohalikus ajalehes kolumnides, mis nüüd kokku raamatu andsid. Ning lisaks on ta leidnud aega ka selle kohta nähtavasti sari teha, mille vaatamine nüüd ootamatult prioriteetseks ülesandeks kerkis, sest raamatu peatükid on väga kõikuva kvaliteediga, aga telesaateid mees ju teha oskab. Seda tõestab asjaolu, et tema nn "autorevüü" saateid vaatavad andunult peamiselt inimesed, keda mootorid ja ringrajasõit absoluutselt ei huvita. Rääkimata pisiasjast, et revüüsaatest kunagi keegi ühtki reaalset tarbijanõuannet ei leidnud.
Härra Clarkson annab kõigile lootust, et tee mis sa teed, aga huumor aitab igast jamast läbi. Ta on ühte aegu eeskuju ja samas täielik ristivastand sõnale "eeskuju". Pealehakkamist on vaja, püsivust ja aega.
Ma arvan, et kõlab nagu paljude inimeste karjäär, sest kes ikka üsast välja potsatades kõike oskab. Pärast võid oma õppeprotsessist panna kirja vahva lugemise ning kui sa oled Jeremy Clarkson, siis see avaldatakse lausa paberi peal ajalehes. Kui sa oled suvaline minusugune, siis kirjutad sa selle internetti kuhugile digipapüürusele, et pakkuda vähemalt teistele oma kannatustest meelelahutust. Sest sarnaselt Top Geariga ei ole tegemist lugejat säästva õpetliku traktaadiga, vaid ikkagi ajaviitelugemisega Briti keerulisest olukorrast COVIDi ja Brexiti aegu. Igasugu UK viiteid on tõsiselt palju, mille kohta maakeelde tõlkija on kannatlikult pidanud iga lehekülje alla harimatutele eestlastele selgitusi viitama, mis võtavad Clarksoni hoogsal tekstil kahjuks tugevasti inertsi maha.
Eestlastel lugeda vaid omal vastutusel. Soovitatavalt võiks eelnevalt olla vähemalt tuttav Simon Peggi ja Nick Forsti "Hot Fuzziga", Inglise Opeli ehk Vauxhalliga Asda poodi sõitnud ning sealt mõne Queeni, Stingi ja Beatlesi plaadi ostnud. Kasuks tuleks ka üldine arusaam Briti impeeriumist ja päevakajalistest uudistest nokitud teave, mis on Boris Johnson ja kes on Covid ja Brexit.
Tegelikult ma arvan, et Briti huumor on üldse maailmas Eesti mentaliteedile kõige lähemal ja tugevalt eluterve ning nutikas enesepila, mis sobib meie sarnastesse "sita suusailma" nimelistesse kliimatingimustesse nagu kapsel D-vitamiini apteegist ning purk "mesilase mahla" Jeremy Clarksoni Diddly Squati talupoest.
Jeremy kirjeldab, miks põllupidamine pisikesel skaalal on tõsine väljakutse ja kallis hobi. Ning seda kõike kohalikus ajalehes kolumnides, mis nüüd kokku raamatu andsid. Ning lisaks on ta leidnud aega ka selle kohta nähtavasti sari teha, mille vaatamine nüüd ootamatult prioriteetseks ülesandeks kerkis, sest raamatu peatükid on väga kõikuva kvaliteediga, aga telesaateid mees ju teha oskab. Seda tõestab asjaolu, et tema nn "autorevüü" saateid vaatavad andunult peamiselt inimesed, keda mootorid ja ringrajasõit absoluutselt ei huvita. Rääkimata pisiasjast, et revüüsaatest kunagi keegi ühtki reaalset tarbijanõuannet ei leidnud.
Härra Clarkson annab kõigile lootust, et tee mis sa teed, aga huumor aitab igast jamast läbi. Ta on ühte aegu eeskuju ja samas täielik ristivastand sõnale "eeskuju". Pealehakkamist on vaja, püsivust ja aega.
Ma arvan, et kõlab nagu paljude inimeste karjäär, sest kes ikka üsast välja potsatades kõike oskab. Pärast võid oma õppeprotsessist panna kirja vahva lugemise ning kui sa oled Jeremy Clarkson, siis see avaldatakse lausa paberi peal ajalehes. Kui sa oled suvaline minusugune, siis kirjutad sa selle internetti kuhugile digipapüürusele, et pakkuda vähemalt teistele oma kannatustest meelelahutust. Sest sarnaselt Top Geariga ei ole tegemist lugejat säästva õpetliku traktaadiga, vaid ikkagi ajaviitelugemisega Briti keerulisest olukorrast COVIDi ja Brexiti aegu. Igasugu UK viiteid on tõsiselt palju, mille kohta maakeelde tõlkija on kannatlikult pidanud iga lehekülje alla harimatutele eestlastele selgitusi viitama, mis võtavad Clarksoni hoogsal tekstil kahjuks tugevasti inertsi maha.
Eestlastel lugeda vaid omal vastutusel. Soovitatavalt võiks eelnevalt olla vähemalt tuttav Simon Peggi ja Nick Forsti "Hot Fuzziga", Inglise Opeli ehk Vauxhalliga Asda poodi sõitnud ning sealt mõne Queeni, Stingi ja Beatlesi plaadi ostnud. Kasuks tuleks ka üldine arusaam Briti impeeriumist ja päevakajalistest uudistest nokitud teave, mis on Boris Johnson ja kes on Covid ja Brexit.
Tegelikult ma arvan, et Briti huumor on üldse maailmas Eesti mentaliteedile kõige lähemal ja tugevalt eluterve ning nutikas enesepila, mis sobib meie sarnastesse "sita suusailma" nimelistesse kliimatingimustesse nagu kapsel D-vitamiini apteegist ning purk "mesilase mahla" Jeremy Clarksoni Diddly Squati talupoest.
November 9, 2023
Diddly Squat: A Year on the Farm is a series of short vignettes about Clarkson’s time as a farmer. If you’ve seen Clarkson's Farm on Amazon you know what to expect. Jeremy is as witty in prose as he is on television.
"Back in 2008, I bought a thousand-acre spread in Oxfordshire and employed a local man to do the farming. But last year he decided to retire, so I thought I'd take over myself. Many people were surprised by this, as to be a farmer you need to be a vet, an untangler of red tape, an agronomist, a mechanic, an entrepreneur, a gambler, a weather forecaster, a salesman, a laborer and an accountant. And I am none of those things."
"I'd called the fram Diddly Squat because that's what it makes."
"But in my mind tractors are like penises. They cannot be too big."
-Jeremy Clarkson
"Back in 2008, I bought a thousand-acre spread in Oxfordshire and employed a local man to do the farming. But last year he decided to retire, so I thought I'd take over myself. Many people were surprised by this, as to be a farmer you need to be a vet, an untangler of red tape, an agronomist, a mechanic, an entrepreneur, a gambler, a weather forecaster, a salesman, a laborer and an accountant. And I am none of those things."
"I'd called the fram Diddly Squat because that's what it makes."
"But in my mind tractors are like penises. They cannot be too big."
-Jeremy Clarkson
February 15, 2023
this was much much better than i expected. it was educating, but funny and he used farming language, but it was still accessible. i think i’d have been bored reading this, but the audiobook was voiced by him & was very well done. it’s made me want to watch his show
3 stars because it wasn’t amazing, it was entertaining but just didn’t hit the spots. but again i wasn’t expecting it to. i needed a palette cleaner after know my name
3 stars because it wasn’t amazing, it was entertaining but just didn’t hit the spots. but again i wasn’t expecting it to. i needed a palette cleaner after know my name
February 7, 2023
This book was a really interesting insight into the world of farming from the perspective of someone who started with absolutely no clue on the business!
In classic Clarkson fashion, it was smart and humorous throughout !
Would really recommend ! 😊
In classic Clarkson fashion, it was smart and humorous throughout !
Would really recommend ! 😊
June 9, 2023
Almost like a collection of very short stories. Articles he wrote over a year on the farm. Very enjoyable and full of humour. Amazing insights into the world of farming from a very amateur perspective. If you were a fan of the show you will enjoy this too!
January 3, 2022
I loved Clarkson's Farm it was hilarious and also showed how deadly serious farming is. The main problem with this book is that it's made up of Clarkson's newspaper columns. So if you've read those then you've read this already and if you haven't read them then reading them all in one go is weird. The repetition means constant deja vu, the references which may have been topical in a weekly column are lost here.
Despite that it's still funny (the sheep) and Clarkson's frustration and love for farming does shine through.
Despite that it's still funny (the sheep) and Clarkson's frustration and love for farming does shine through.
January 29, 2023
4.75/5
Quality of writing: 5
Pace: 5
Enjoyability: 4
Ease of reading: 5
I needed some giggles and I got some giggles.
Quality of writing: 5
Pace: 5
Enjoyability: 4
Ease of reading: 5
I needed some giggles and I got some giggles.
January 26, 2024
This was actually an enjoyable read. I loved the tv show and the book was a great way to see more
June 5, 2024
Well I read this book very quick for me even tho it’s not long and has about 20 blank pages in between chapters
However just like the TV series clarkson does bring a necessary light onto farming in this book. It’s an entertaining read with Jeremy’s typical humor that I for one do enjoy! Even if half of it is about him learning how to become a farmer, I find that interesting and I would recommend this book to anyone who slightly finds it interesting too. I’ll be buying the next two books sometime soon…
However just like the TV series clarkson does bring a necessary light onto farming in this book. It’s an entertaining read with Jeremy’s typical humor that I for one do enjoy! Even if half of it is about him learning how to become a farmer, I find that interesting and I would recommend this book to anyone who slightly finds it interesting too. I’ll be buying the next two books sometime soon…
December 5, 2021
I know I probably shouldn’t but I did really enjoy this book!
January 31, 2022
I was a bit worried that I wouldn’t enjoy this book because I’ve not long finished watching the show, but I loved it! It’s one of very few books that have made me actually laugh out loud. It was really easy to read, and I got through it surprisingly fast! There were times when I just didn’t want to put it down because of how much I was enjoying it. I definitely recommend this book and the show, as I loved both.
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