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Untouchables #1
Untouchable
The bully isn't supposed to win.
Senior year was off to a rough start: lube in my locker, panties on my front porch, unimaginative name-calling. See, I got a player suspended from the football team for harassing me, and in my small Texas town, you don’t mess with the football players—even if they mess with you first.
I didn’t care if it was an unpopular thing to do; I stood up for myself… and in doing so, opened Pandora’s Box.
I never dreamed I would attract the attention of locally worshipped star quarterback, Carter Mahoney. Never imagined his coveted attention would turn out to be such a nightmare. Beneath his carefully constructed façade lurks a monster, a predator looking for the perfect prey to play with. Now, since I’m the girl no one likes or believes, I guess I’m the perfect target for his dark games and twisted desires.
After surviving my first encounter with his casual depravity, all I really want is for Carter to leave me alone.
But all he seems to want is me.
Warning: This book is provocative. It is categorized as DARK ROMANCE for a reason. It will not be for everyone. If you are a reader with certain triggers or sensitivities common to the dark romance genre, please heed the author’s note at the beginning of this book.
Senior year was off to a rough start: lube in my locker, panties on my front porch, unimaginative name-calling. See, I got a player suspended from the football team for harassing me, and in my small Texas town, you don’t mess with the football players—even if they mess with you first.
I didn’t care if it was an unpopular thing to do; I stood up for myself… and in doing so, opened Pandora’s Box.
I never dreamed I would attract the attention of locally worshipped star quarterback, Carter Mahoney. Never imagined his coveted attention would turn out to be such a nightmare. Beneath his carefully constructed façade lurks a monster, a predator looking for the perfect prey to play with. Now, since I’m the girl no one likes or believes, I guess I’m the perfect target for his dark games and twisted desires.
After surviving my first encounter with his casual depravity, all I really want is for Carter to leave me alone.
But all he seems to want is me.
Warning: This book is provocative. It is categorized as DARK ROMANCE for a reason. It will not be for everyone. If you are a reader with certain triggers or sensitivities common to the dark romance genre, please heed the author’s note at the beginning of this book.
494 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 17, 2018
About the author
Sam Mariano
46 books4,309 followersFollow Sam Mariano on Facebook, Instagram (@sammarianobooks), or check out her Blog! If you need to email her, she can be reached at sammarianoauthor@gmail.com (but she is sometimes tardy about checking email. Mateo is very demanding).
Sign up for Sam's mailing list (to stay up to date on current projects--she won't spam you! Only for notification of new releases or book sales.)
All of Sam's books are available on Amazon! (And don't forget to follow Sam's Amazon Author page to get notified about the newest releases.)
Sam Mariano has been writing stories for as long as she can remember. She lives in Ohio and has a sweet and wonderful daughter.
Because of You was her first finished story (she started writing it when she was 18) and due to a full-time work and college schedule, it took her years to finish. She has also been telling people for years that there would never be a sequel (sorry, guys!)…which turned out to be a lie.
Sam Mariano is currently working on Dante’s book (if you’re a Morelli reader) and some other WIP.
Feel free to find her on Facebook, Goodreads, or her blog—she loves hearing from readers!
Sign up for Sam's mailing list (to stay up to date on current projects--she won't spam you! Only for notification of new releases or book sales.)
All of Sam's books are available on Amazon! (And don't forget to follow Sam's Amazon Author page to get notified about the newest releases.)
Sam Mariano has been writing stories for as long as she can remember. She lives in Ohio and has a sweet and wonderful daughter.
Because of You was her first finished story (she started writing it when she was 18) and due to a full-time work and college schedule, it took her years to finish. She has also been telling people for years that there would never be a sequel (sorry, guys!)…which turned out to be a lie.
Sam Mariano is currently working on Dante’s book (if you’re a Morelli reader) and some other WIP.
Feel free to find her on Facebook, Goodreads, or her blog—she loves hearing from readers!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 3,235 reviews
January 5, 2019
1 STAR
Some spoilers to follow...
I have sat on the rating for this book for a solid week, totally and completely conflicted. On the one hand, the writing is solid and the story interesting enough to have me continuing after the HOLY SHIT DID I JUST READ WHAT I THINK I DID in the first 5%. Yes, the warning does a good job of preparing the reader and making them understand that this is not a typical angsty high school romance. It's dark (but not in the usual sense). Yes, the author does an incredible job of painting two very well developed characters that you can't help but be curious about. Yes, it had me reading well into the night to see how it all ends.
But...and this is a big BUT. I'm talking about the but of all buts here, people. You may argue with me that this is fiction. You may argue with me that you have to suspend your disbelief because you're reading a darker book. But here's the thing, no matter how you spin it, FOR ME, this book romanticizes sexual abuse. It is not, I repeat, NOT a dub con. It is sexual abuse. Pure and simple. And there is nothing dark, interesting, captivating, or intriguing about the hero to me. He's a rapey asshole. No matter how much the author tries to justify him, or explain his actions (and she does) at the end. He's not an anti-hero I can get behind, because there is just nothing redeemable about him to me.
I'll be honest, this is a book that you will either love, or hate. There is no middle ground. No gray area.
I'll let you think on that for a second here. Is that a character you can read about? If so, you'll fall into the side of readers that would love this book.
And if you're like me and couldn't see past this for the entirety of the book? Welp. I'll tell you that this book just isn't for you.
And here's the thing. He CONTINUES this behavior for the entire fucking book.
And the heroine? No matter how smart, sassy, strong willed, or backboned she is...just takes it all.
Again, you'll say to me, but Lana, it's fiction, calm your tits.
And I'll say to you that what it is, is tone-deaf. It spins a tale of a completely fucked up rapey asshole and shows that all he needs, is to find a woman that "understands" him and doesn't want to change him. Because that's just who he is, and so long as she "gets him", it's all ok. And it's all ok because he only does that to her. He doesn't feel those urges towards any otherunsuspecting female victims women. Just her.
And in the midst of the #MeToo movement, I'm quite honestly shocked that a book like this is written.
I'm not a delicate snowflake. I LOVE a dark romance and I've read my fair share. Just take a look at my shelves. But this book is just not one I can get behind. The author is clearly a talented writer, and I'll be trying some of her other books. Sometimes a character just isn't for you, and this was that case for me. Again, it's a matter of taste. And as I've said, you'll either love or hate it. So read it and judge for yourself.
Find me on:
Some spoilers to follow...
It’s terrifying, his disregard for right and wrong. The pleasure he gets out of making me powerless.
I have sat on the rating for this book for a solid week, totally and completely conflicted. On the one hand, the writing is solid and the story interesting enough to have me continuing after the HOLY SHIT DID I JUST READ WHAT I THINK I DID in the first 5%. Yes, the warning does a good job of preparing the reader and making them understand that this is not a typical angsty high school romance. It's dark (but not in the usual sense). Yes, the author does an incredible job of painting two very well developed characters that you can't help but be curious about. Yes, it had me reading well into the night to see how it all ends.
But...and this is a big BUT. I'm talking about the but of all buts here, people. You may argue with me that this is fiction. You may argue with me that you have to suspend your disbelief because you're reading a darker book. But here's the thing, no matter how you spin it, FOR ME, this book romanticizes sexual abuse. It is not, I repeat, NOT a dub con. It is sexual abuse. Pure and simple. And there is nothing dark, interesting, captivating, or intriguing about the hero to me. He's a rapey asshole. No matter how much the author tries to justify him, or explain his actions (and she does) at the end. He's not an anti-hero I can get behind, because there is just nothing redeemable about him to me.
I'll be honest, this is a book that you will either love, or hate. There is no middle ground. No gray area.
I'll let you think on that for a second here. Is that a character you can read about? If so, you'll fall into the side of readers that would love this book.
And if you're like me and couldn't see past this for the entirety of the book? Welp. I'll tell you that this book just isn't for you.
And here's the thing. He CONTINUES this behavior for the entire fucking book.
And the heroine? No matter how smart, sassy, strong willed, or backboned she is...just takes it all.
Again, you'll say to me, but Lana, it's fiction, calm your tits.
And I'll say to you that what it is, is tone-deaf. It spins a tale of a completely fucked up rapey asshole and shows that all he needs, is to find a woman that "understands" him and doesn't want to change him. Because that's just who he is, and so long as she "gets him", it's all ok. And it's all ok because he only does that to her. He doesn't feel those urges towards any other
And in the midst of the #MeToo movement, I'm quite honestly shocked that a book like this is written.
I'm not a delicate snowflake. I LOVE a dark romance and I've read my fair share. Just take a look at my shelves. But this book is just not one I can get behind. The author is clearly a talented writer, and I'll be trying some of her other books. Sometimes a character just isn't for you, and this was that case for me. Again, it's a matter of taste. And as I've said, you'll either love or hate it. So read it and judge for yourself.
Find me on:
November 23, 2020
Holy fucking shit! That's what I thought as I read the beginning of Untouchable by Sam Mariano. The first scene between the main characters, Carter and Zoey, is more than just uncomfortable. It's sick, twisted, and fucked up on a level I've never seen in a book about high school students. In fact, the entire book is.
I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat this. If you have ever read a book and disliked it, because you thought the hero was abusive or the couple's relationship was toxic, back away slowly now. No. Fuck that. Run! Run away and never look back! I'm serious. Don't even bother picking up this book. You will hate it. I think anyone that reads this and wants to enjoy it has to be extremely curious, open minded, and/or love dark, fucked up relationships.
The purpose of this review is not to scare every reader away. Normally, I don't do much warning in reviews at all. I just feel like this one needs it though. It's better to find out if a book is going to be a huge bust for you before you dive into it if you can help it. It's also better for the author.
Basically, this story has the potential to piss a lot of people off. That's just a fact. The author knew that when she wrote it. She has a warning in the beginning of the book itself, so I don't feel bad expressing this now. Now that we've got that out of the way, let's get into my thoughts on this one!
I've read a lot of Sam Mariano's previous work. It's clear she loves her asshole alpha heroes. I love them, too. It's probably a big part of why I've enjoyed all of her books in the past. She also has a knack for writing characters that you can both love and hate at the same time. I've never seen an author do this the way she does. She's kind of fucking brilliant in that way actually.
However, when I started reading this book, I didn't think she could get me to read past chapter 2. What Carter does to Zoey is absolutely disgusting and flat out unforgivable. There's no two ways about it.
I whole heartedly believe there was nothing Sam could do to completely redeem him to me. That's the thing about her though. She almost never completely redeems her characters (at least the ones I've read about). It's that simple. What she does is finds heroines that are perfect for them just the way they are, and that's exaclty what she did here.
Not only did I read past chapter 2, I read almost the whole damn book in one night! It's over 500 pages! Her writing style sucked me in completely. The interactions between the characters are just so interesting that I couldn't stop reading. I had to know where the author was going to take the story after all of the horrible shit that happened between them in the beginning of the book. Obviously, I knew they were going to probably end up together. I mean, this is romance after all. Exactly how the fuck that was going to happen was what kept me intrigued.
Both characters infuriated me time and time again, but after a while, no matter how fucked up and wrong it was....I wanted them to end up together. That being said, I wish Carter would have been more sorry for what he did. Hell, I wish Zoey would have lit his house on fire with him in it instead of starting a relationship, but neither one of those things happened. Thankfully, Sam found another way for things to end that left me feeling satisfied.
In the end, Zoey and Carter are perfect for one another. She is just strong enough and crazy enough to challenge him, keep his interest, and deal with his emotional issues. He is morally challenged, emotionally scarred, and messed up enough mentally to peak her academic interest and tug at her heart strings. On top of that, they are sexually compatible in every way.
Their intense chemistry made for some scorching hot sex scenes! Overall, it's a match made in crazy town, but by the end, I was cool with it. Both parties understood what they were getting into and were truly happy.
Bottomline, I enjoyed this book despite the fact that I think Zoey is insane for forgiving him and attempting any type of relationship academic or otherwise. In real life, I would never be okay with this type of relationship, but lucky for me, this is fiction!
One of the things I love about fiction is that it has different rules than we do in the real world. Not every story has to have a moral or an inspirational message. Some stories are just for fun, to make you think, to explore unique situations and complicated characters, or to make your panties wet from laughing or because it's hot af. This is one of those books, and I enjoyed reading it.
I recommend this to readers of dark and extremely unconventional romance with damaged characters and anyone that isn't concerned about my warning, the author's warning, or warnings in general.
ARC generously provided by the author for an honest review.
I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat this. If you have ever read a book and disliked it, because you thought the hero was abusive or the couple's relationship was toxic, back away slowly now. No. Fuck that. Run! Run away and never look back! I'm serious. Don't even bother picking up this book. You will hate it. I think anyone that reads this and wants to enjoy it has to be extremely curious, open minded, and/or love dark, fucked up relationships.
The purpose of this review is not to scare every reader away. Normally, I don't do much warning in reviews at all. I just feel like this one needs it though. It's better to find out if a book is going to be a huge bust for you before you dive into it if you can help it. It's also better for the author.
Basically, this story has the potential to piss a lot of people off. That's just a fact. The author knew that when she wrote it. She has a warning in the beginning of the book itself, so I don't feel bad expressing this now. Now that we've got that out of the way, let's get into my thoughts on this one!
I've read a lot of Sam Mariano's previous work. It's clear she loves her asshole alpha heroes. I love them, too. It's probably a big part of why I've enjoyed all of her books in the past. She also has a knack for writing characters that you can both love and hate at the same time. I've never seen an author do this the way she does. She's kind of fucking brilliant in that way actually.
However, when I started reading this book, I didn't think she could get me to read past chapter 2. What Carter does to Zoey is absolutely disgusting and flat out unforgivable. There's no two ways about it.
I whole heartedly believe there was nothing Sam could do to completely redeem him to me. That's the thing about her though. She almost never completely redeems her characters (at least the ones I've read about). It's that simple. What she does is finds heroines that are perfect for them just the way they are, and that's exaclty what she did here.
Not only did I read past chapter 2, I read almost the whole damn book in one night! It's over 500 pages! Her writing style sucked me in completely. The interactions between the characters are just so interesting that I couldn't stop reading. I had to know where the author was going to take the story after all of the horrible shit that happened between them in the beginning of the book. Obviously, I knew they were going to probably end up together. I mean, this is romance after all. Exactly how the fuck that was going to happen was what kept me intrigued.
Both characters infuriated me time and time again, but after a while, no matter how fucked up and wrong it was....I wanted them to end up together. That being said, I wish Carter would have been more sorry for what he did. Hell, I wish Zoey would have lit his house on fire with him in it instead of starting a relationship, but neither one of those things happened. Thankfully, Sam found another way for things to end that left me feeling satisfied.
In the end, Zoey and Carter are perfect for one another. She is just strong enough and crazy enough to challenge him, keep his interest, and deal with his emotional issues. He is morally challenged, emotionally scarred, and messed up enough mentally to peak her academic interest and tug at her heart strings. On top of that, they are sexually compatible in every way.
Their intense chemistry made for some scorching hot sex scenes! Overall, it's a match made in crazy town, but by the end, I was cool with it. Both parties understood what they were getting into and were truly happy.
Bottomline, I enjoyed this book despite the fact that I think Zoey is insane for forgiving him and attempting any type of relationship academic or otherwise. In real life, I would never be okay with this type of relationship, but lucky for me, this is fiction!
One of the things I love about fiction is that it has different rules than we do in the real world. Not every story has to have a moral or an inspirational message. Some stories are just for fun, to make you think, to explore unique situations and complicated characters, or to make your panties wet from laughing or because it's hot af. This is one of those books, and I enjoyed reading it.
I recommend this to readers of dark and extremely unconventional romance with damaged characters and anyone that isn't concerned about my warning, the author's warning, or warnings in general.
ARC generously provided by the author for an honest review.
December 20, 2018
Fuck it, this will probably be the 'unpopular' review and that's absolutely fine...
Cause these are also my personal thoughts intertwined with the impressions after reading this book...the book I, unfortunately, DIDN'T like!
Inspite Sam Mariano's writing and inspite her given warning about this book and its content...
It just reminded me of one similar book in recent past that irked my protective senses to full blast and I still firmly stand with my primar expressivness.
The said warning stated that this is a 'dark bully romance' I instantaneously thought of Penelope Douglas' Bully (which I liked, obviously since I m mentioning it here) and I dived in...
BUT
The very first interaction between the two characters, that we soon capture as the main heroine Zoey Ellis, the nerdy, a bit shy and religious YA that decided to stand up for herself against a football player who gropped her without her given consent or permission and is now being cornered by the said player and two of his teammates and being sexually abused by one of them, Carter Mahoney the rich, prick quarteback and then being blackmailed into silence if she ever thought of reporting this to anyone...DIDN'T sound like something worthy of consideration, yet I actually wanted to give this author a chance.
So I went further...and absolutely got confused by the irrational (but later on, a very conscious) dislike of, now, both characters, cause now the heroine is fucking curious about this guy who basically "raped" her in front of his teammates but that 'issue' was somehow interpreted as 'rough sex'
*insert huge fucking question mark*
And she enters this weird, totally non-believable relationship with the said prick...
and then well, the author tries to pull it all into the romantisized bubble of unconventional sexual intercourse between two consenting YA BUT she also jumps into her own mouth by emphysizing the heroine's wording of "NO" and prick's final deaf ignore button and solely deciding to 'take what he wants' anyway...
So, I'm confused now by the final result, so is this supposed to be justified as being 'okay' cause it's under the 'dark' genre?
But why then intensifying and emphysizing the 'wrong' (cause make no mistake, it's actually the basis of doing wrong and criminal act)... And then trying to make it okay and pushing the 'nice' things about the prick so I would like the guy in the end...
Guess what? I didn't like him in the beginning and I disliked him even more in the end...
This book actually irritated and frustrated me to moon and back! ( and my being poetic here doesn't diminish the stare of anger I m in)
By the end, and I damned my reading OCD complex *sigh* for needing to finish the book/project I started...
I found myself comparing this story with another questionable book I ve read by K Webster ( who I love as an author) that got such a negative hype on GR and FB and was so bloody stoned as a bad propaganda, and yes, I tried to explain to myself the wrongfully percepted events in that book and I concluded that the author might have unintentionally acted without tact and with smudgy perception turned a story that was supposed to 'entertain' in the dark genre, it ended being cheap, offensive and tactless.
Unfortunately, I found this story just as same as described in the sentence above.
Like I ve said many times before, the point of presenting the dark material it can't be based on gore, shock, twisted, depravation and torment alone, it really has to have a good base on which all these unconventional actions are built upon and then gradually grow towards someting more or maybe less, depending on the intent of the author's storytelling.
This story wasn't it for me in that regard.
In fact, it did the opposite of what it supposed to be delivering and the final result left me flat but angered at myself for reading.
Yeah, the words prick says to the heroine...actually do reflect the everyday life's situation...in someone's existence
but I somehow believe that fiction, dark fiction too, should at least give me a resemblance of an escapism to smth thrilling, forbidden, exciting but on a higher level than the immature bullying bordering with criminal offenses ( if not for the fictional part) with even lower characterisation and superficial trial of developing a romance.
Sorry. This just didn't work for me, and honestly I actually ecpected more. On every level.
But again, these are my thoughts alone and do not represent the general opinion so even if this didn't work for me, cause it's simply a thin line bonding the sphere of depravation and the touch of reality.
And it's hard to obtain that line when you want to make a difference...it can go both ways, it's either a success or a bust, and only details set them apart.
Cause these are also my personal thoughts intertwined with the impressions after reading this book...the book I, unfortunately, DIDN'T like!
Inspite Sam Mariano's writing and inspite her given warning about this book and its content...
It just reminded me of one similar book in recent past that irked my protective senses to full blast and I still firmly stand with my primar expressivness.
The said warning stated that this is a 'dark bully romance' I instantaneously thought of Penelope Douglas' Bully (which I liked, obviously since I m mentioning it here) and I dived in...
BUT
The very first interaction between the two characters, that we soon capture as the main heroine Zoey Ellis, the nerdy, a bit shy and religious YA that decided to stand up for herself against a football player who gropped her without her given consent or permission and is now being cornered by the said player and two of his teammates and being sexually abused by one of them, Carter Mahoney the rich, prick quarteback and then being blackmailed into silence if she ever thought of reporting this to anyone...DIDN'T sound like something worthy of consideration, yet I actually wanted to give this author a chance.
So I went further...and absolutely got confused by the irrational (but later on, a very conscious) dislike of, now, both characters, cause now the heroine is fucking curious about this guy who basically "raped" her in front of his teammates but that 'issue' was somehow interpreted as 'rough sex'
*insert huge fucking question mark*
And she enters this weird, totally non-believable relationship with the said prick...
and then well, the author tries to pull it all into the romantisized bubble of unconventional sexual intercourse between two consenting YA BUT she also jumps into her own mouth by emphysizing the heroine's wording of "NO" and prick's final deaf ignore button and solely deciding to 'take what he wants' anyway...
So, I'm confused now by the final result, so is this supposed to be justified as being 'okay' cause it's under the 'dark' genre?
But why then intensifying and emphysizing the 'wrong' (cause make no mistake, it's actually the basis of doing wrong and criminal act)... And then trying to make it okay and pushing the 'nice' things about the prick so I would like the guy in the end...
Guess what? I didn't like him in the beginning and I disliked him even more in the end...
This book actually irritated and frustrated me to moon and back! ( and my being poetic here doesn't diminish the stare of anger I m in)
By the end, and I damned my reading OCD complex *sigh* for needing to finish the book/project I started...
I found myself comparing this story with another questionable book I ve read by K Webster ( who I love as an author) that got such a negative hype on GR and FB and was so bloody stoned as a bad propaganda, and yes, I tried to explain to myself the wrongfully percepted events in that book and I concluded that the author might have unintentionally acted without tact and with smudgy perception turned a story that was supposed to 'entertain' in the dark genre, it ended being cheap, offensive and tactless.
Unfortunately, I found this story just as same as described in the sentence above.
Like I ve said many times before, the point of presenting the dark material it can't be based on gore, shock, twisted, depravation and torment alone, it really has to have a good base on which all these unconventional actions are built upon and then gradually grow towards someting more or maybe less, depending on the intent of the author's storytelling.
This story wasn't it for me in that regard.
In fact, it did the opposite of what it supposed to be delivering and the final result left me flat but angered at myself for reading.
You want to know something, Ellis? I’ve got bad news for you, so listen up. Sometimes people do bad shit to you, and they don’t get punished; they get away with it. Hell, sometimes they get rewarded for it. If all this shit with Jake didn’t show you that, if all this shit with me hasn’t shown you that, maybe you’re not as smart as you think you are.
Yeah, the words prick says to the heroine...actually do reflect the everyday life's situation...in someone's existence
but I somehow believe that fiction, dark fiction too, should at least give me a resemblance of an escapism to smth thrilling, forbidden, exciting but on a higher level than the immature bullying bordering with criminal offenses ( if not for the fictional part) with even lower characterisation and superficial trial of developing a romance.
Sorry. This just didn't work for me, and honestly I actually ecpected more. On every level.
But again, these are my thoughts alone and do not represent the general opinion so even if this didn't work for me, cause it's simply a thin line bonding the sphere of depravation and the touch of reality.
And it's hard to obtain that line when you want to make a difference...it can go both ways, it's either a success or a bust, and only details set them apart.
Read
August 13, 2020so this is on a list for a video i’m filming and i cannot force myself to read it.
in the opening CHAPTER there is threat of sexual assault and the HERO talks about making the heroine bleed. apparently it gets worse from there. i’m fuckin out.
in the opening CHAPTER there is threat of sexual assault and the HERO talks about making the heroine bleed. apparently it gets worse from there. i’m fuckin out.
September 1, 2019
A manipulator and a twisted mind met and formed a great couple
Read
July 3, 2019
4.5-5 stars! REVIEW TO BE POSTED ASAP!
Heed trigger warning!
September 30, 2021
✩⡱ original rating 2019: 4 stars
✩⡱ re-read April 2021: 3.5 stars
EDIT: I came back to my senses and needed to round up, because Carter Mahoney is a once in a lifetime Hero and no one is doing it like him 🤩✨
SONG:
Sam Smith - Forgive Myself
There is so much wrong with this book that I feel like I'm going to burn in hell for enjoying it, but what can I say Zoey and Carter put the fun in dysfunctional. 🤷🏽♀️
Me @ Zoey Ellis:
Thank you for taking one for the team and letting your almost rapist use you, so he would not go around sexual assaulting other women. Your existence makes the Untouchables fictional world a little bit safer from one predator. Yoursacrifice contribution to world peace will always be remembered. ✊😌
Me @ Carter Mahoney:
You, sir, are a controlling & manipulative asshole. You are really the president of the "When a woman says 'No' she actually means 'Yes' club" and probably proud af about it. Honestly, there is not much good about you, cause you are trash and belong behind prison bars, buuut
✩⡱ re-read April 2021: 3.5 stars
EDIT: I came back to my senses and needed to round up, because Carter Mahoney is a once in a lifetime Hero and no one is doing it like him 🤩✨
SONG:
Sam Smith - Forgive Myself
There is so much wrong with this book that I feel like I'm going to burn in hell for enjoying it, but what can I say Zoey and Carter put the fun in dysfunctional. 🤷🏽♀️
Me @ Zoey Ellis:
Thank you for taking one for the team and letting your almost rapist use you, so he would not go around sexual assaulting other women. Your existence makes the Untouchables fictional world a little bit safer from one predator. Your
Me @ Carter Mahoney:
You, sir, are a controlling & manipulative asshole. You are really the president of the "When a woman says 'No' she actually means 'Yes' club" and probably proud af about it. Honestly, there is not much good about you, cause you are trash and belong behind prison bars, buuut
March 6, 2024
4 stars
I'm sorry, but all that talk of pregnancy was giving me visions of the future and this was all I saw. A fitting introduction I think.
👩🦯SPOILERS AHEAD👩🦯 with random romantic quotes<3
Carter.
Carter, Carter, Carter.
I could kiss your feet for being such an unapologetic piece of human trash. You vicious, vile, disgusting, abominable specimen. Yes you, you sir are going to my "favourite heroes" shelf.
God forbid any of us innocent souls ever encounter a Carter Mahoney in real life. But if by any unfortunate chance you do, and somehow end up dating him, here's a list of rules:
1️⃣ don't say no, because that word does not exist in his vocabulary. If he wants something, he'll take it without consideration.
2️⃣ He likes dates, so if yours ends in sexual assault, don't expect emotions like guilt or remorse. If he ever apologises to you, he's probably lying.
3️⃣ If he starts to casually threaten your loved ones for you to do his bidding, just do his bidding.
4️⃣ He will most likely not wear a rubber or give a fuck about getting you pregnant, so gear up buttercup.
5️⃣ He is faithful...........most of the time..........so don't cheat on him, or he will probably frame a murder on the poor fella you choose to commit adultery with.
6️⃣ If you catch him cheating, he wanted you to.
7️⃣ And of course, never ever get on his wrong side. Because his side is the only side and once you're off it, you no longer exist.
yeaaaaaaaaah......
Thinking all of that shit up sounded much less toxic in my head, but once my traumatised fingers had to actually spell out all of this man's best personality traits, I stood in front of my mirror and posed a logical question for once; Why in the ever loving fuck would anyone consider dating a man like that?
The dumb bitch inside of me: well he likes kids.
The annoying logical bitch inside of me: he's a rapist😐
but he's honest tho....
you mean a manipulator?
he is responsible too.
he literally got a girl pregnant when he was 13
HE TOOK RESPONSIBILITY THOU-
he cheated on his ex with a teacher.
only because she's legitimately annoying and he wanted to get rid of her.
he kidnapped a dog
so?
what do you mean so? He's a freaking socio-
I hear you making noise but it's all just gibberish to me at this point
Everyone currently reading me trying to redeem Carter:
No but really, after that very sane conversation I had with myself, I began to think about Zoey. The girl who actually choose to love this man. She isn't the most groundbreaking character I've ever read, but I actually related to her on many levels. Her realistic outlook on life, the friends she keeps, the attitude she projects and the thoughts she has, genuinely align a lot with my own life.
Except then she started prancing around, sharing her hobbies, explaining herself and texting the man who sexually assaulted her like they're bffs since middle school. That's when I hit the break and sort of went oooh....
Exblain this to me. Read this and tell me she is not crazy. SHE IS REASSURED that he would rather force her than cheat on her:) goodbye.
I also want to point out how useful Carter was. I mean the guy basically unintentionally choose Zoey's career path for her. She always kept psychoanalysing him and giving him actual therapy sessions about his sex life, she deducted a whole ass research on him, like a project.
All that talking I've done with the mirror, finding excuses, any plausible reason to give this dude a chance...and all this girl needed was curiosity. She knew who he was, knew how awful, and she was still fascinated. Everyone knows she didn't only go out with him to save all of those potential victims of his. She was curious about the way his mind worked, why he did what he did and what made him that way.
Of course she didn't anticipate to be ruined by him. She went from a church volunteering virgin to a girl who enjoys dub-con role play and rough sex with her assailant.
You know funnily enough he was right, he didn't ruin her life. He actually made it exponentially better. She's on her way to a PhD, lives in a big apartment in New York, attends Columbia, somehow has money now.....she's set for life all thanks to Carter.
That's a horrible lesson to take out of this btw, don't listen to me.
The thing about Zoey is she liked to frequently point out that Carter won't always get what he wants. But girlie....you are quite literally a living contradiction to your own words. After all the unspeakable shit he did to you, he decided he wants you and in the end he got you. He does get everything he wants and probably always will, while Zoey continuously hangs after him.
That was the only thing I didn't like about her, she always went to Carter.
Carter will solve this,
Carter will help with that.
Realistically I understand that he has much more power than her, but I also wanted to see her deal with some of the problems on her own.
PS; Am I the only one who just couldn't get used to their casual use of the word "dating" and "girlfriend/boyfriend". Something about these twisted ass motherfuckers using official labels felt disorienting. It might be the fact that I never see it in romance, the characters just have to have some sort of issue with labels because ✨drama✨, but these guys just effortlessly went from enemies to "Okay we're dating now", I was sitting thinking well shit...that was easy
---------------------------------------
Hello, me again. These are just some quotes that took me out.
This fucking psychopath spread a rumour that she is pregnant so other guys won't look at her
I'm sorry but this dog thing was so random, like why did he even do that😭out of all the vindictive shit he could've done, he stole a dog.
I'm sorry, but all that talk of pregnancy was giving me visions of the future and this was all I saw. A fitting introduction I think.
👩🦯SPOILERS AHEAD👩🦯 with random romantic quotes<3
Carter.
Carter, Carter, Carter.
I could kiss your feet for being such an unapologetic piece of human trash. You vicious, vile, disgusting, abominable specimen. Yes you, you sir are going to my "favourite heroes" shelf.
"I didn't even do anything to you," I snap at him. "What's your excuse? Why do you want to hurt me?"
"I don't have one," Carter says, his tone indifferent, almost bored. "I just like seeing you helpless and scared. It gets me hard. Want to feel?"
God forbid any of us innocent souls ever encounter a Carter Mahoney in real life. But if by any unfortunate chance you do, and somehow end up dating him, here's a list of rules:
1️⃣ don't say no, because that word does not exist in his vocabulary. If he wants something, he'll take it without consideration.
2️⃣ He likes dates, so if yours ends in sexual assault, don't expect emotions like guilt or remorse. If he ever apologises to you, he's probably lying.
"Raping me, you mean. This isn't fucking. If you do this, this is rape. It's a violation, it's a crime. You'll have to live with that for the rest of your life."
"Let me count all the fucks I give," he says, so cavalier.
3️⃣ If he starts to casually threaten your loved ones for you to do his bidding, just do his bidding.
"Maybe you should stop fighting and come back to me now so nothing else bad happens to your friends"
4️⃣ He will most likely not wear a rubber or give a fuck about getting you pregnant, so gear up buttercup.
5️⃣ He is faithful...........most of the time..........so don't cheat on him, or he will probably frame a murder on the poor fella you choose to commit adultery with.
6️⃣ If you catch him cheating, he wanted you to.
7️⃣ And of course, never ever get on his wrong side. Because his side is the only side and once you're off it, you no longer exist.
yeaaaaaaaaah......
Thinking all of that shit up sounded much less toxic in my head, but once my traumatised fingers had to actually spell out all of this man's best personality traits, I stood in front of my mirror and posed a logical question for once; Why in the ever loving fuck would anyone consider dating a man like that?
The dumb bitch inside of me: well he likes kids.
The annoying logical bitch inside of me: he's a rapist😐
but he's honest tho....
you mean a manipulator?
he is responsible too.
he literally got a girl pregnant when he was 13
HE TOOK RESPONSIBILITY THOU-
he cheated on his ex with a teacher.
only because she's legitimately annoying and he wanted to get rid of her.
he kidnapped a dog
so?
what do you mean so? He's a freaking socio-
I hear you making noise but it's all just gibberish to me at this point
Everyone currently reading me trying to redeem Carter:
No but really, after that very sane conversation I had with myself, I began to think about Zoey. The girl who actually choose to love this man. She isn't the most groundbreaking character I've ever read, but I actually related to her on many levels. Her realistic outlook on life, the friends she keeps, the attitude she projects and the thoughts she has, genuinely align a lot with my own life.
Except then she started prancing around, sharing her hobbies, explaining herself and texting the man who sexually assaulted her like they're bffs since middle school. That's when I hit the break and sort of went oooh....
"You know me. If I had wanted to get off, I would've made you do it, not called in a sub."
I would've made you do it shouldn't reassure me, but it's so damn true, it's kind of hard to refuse
Exblain this to me. Read this and tell me she is not crazy. SHE IS REASSURED that he would rather force her than cheat on her:) goodbye.
I also want to point out how useful Carter was. I mean the guy basically unintentionally choose Zoey's career path for her. She always kept psychoanalysing him and giving him actual therapy sessions about his sex life, she deducted a whole ass research on him, like a project.
All that talking I've done with the mirror, finding excuses, any plausible reason to give this dude a chance...and all this girl needed was curiosity. She knew who he was, knew how awful, and she was still fascinated. Everyone knows she didn't only go out with him to save all of those potential victims of his. She was curious about the way his mind worked, why he did what he did and what made him that way.
I love his twisted ways. Carter may be difficult to maneuver sometimes, but he fascinates me.
Of course she didn't anticipate to be ruined by him. She went from a church volunteering virgin to a girl who enjoys dub-con role play and rough sex with her assailant.
"I already told you I wouldn't ruin your life. It's like you don't believe me or something."
You know funnily enough he was right, he didn't ruin her life. He actually made it exponentially better. She's on her way to a PhD, lives in a big apartment in New York, attends Columbia, somehow has money now.....she's set for life all thanks to Carter.
That's a horrible lesson to take out of this btw, don't listen to me.
The thing about Zoey is she liked to frequently point out that Carter won't always get what he wants. But girlie....you are quite literally a living contradiction to your own words. After all the unspeakable shit he did to you, he decided he wants you and in the end he got you. He does get everything he wants and probably always will, while Zoey continuously hangs after him.
That was the only thing I didn't like about her, she always went to Carter.
Carter will solve this,
Carter will help with that.
Realistically I understand that he has much more power than her, but I also wanted to see her deal with some of the problems on her own.
PS; Am I the only one who just couldn't get used to their casual use of the word "dating" and "girlfriend/boyfriend". Something about these twisted ass motherfuckers using official labels felt disorienting. It might be the fact that I never see it in romance, the characters just have to have some sort of issue with labels because ✨drama✨, but these guys just effortlessly went from enemies to "Okay we're dating now", I was sitting thinking well shit...that was easy
---------------------------------------
Hello, me again. These are just some quotes that took me out.
I'm going to die here of asphyxiation with Carter Mahoney's cock in my throat. And then, because he's a fucking psycho, he'll probably fuck my corpse.
"Most hypocrites are in denial, fumbling around with bullshit justifications and empty reasons why they're special and breaking the rules doesn't make them a bad person. People who do bad things but need to believe they're still good - that's a hypocrite. That's not me. I don't lie to myself like that. I don't have to justify my actions in order to sleep at night. I don't blame anyone else for the way I behave, or pretend I'm being fair when I'm not. I know I'm fucked up, I just don't care."
"I wouldn't roofie you. You're no good to me unconscious. I like mentally and physically stripping away your will. A pill is cheating."
"You're sick," I inform him.
He shrugs, apparently unconcerned.
"Why don't you want to go to dinner with me?"
I shouldn't even consider going anywhere with someone who has to add "if that makes you feel safer" to an invitation to hang out with him.
"It's too soon for you to be causing Mommy trouble, little guy. You better be good in there."
This fucking psychopath spread a rumour that she is pregnant so other guys won't look at her
He wouldn't hurt a dog, right? i don't think he would, he's not a monster, but kidnap a dog? He might do that.
I'm sorry but this dog thing was so random, like why did he even do that😭out of all the vindictive shit he could've done, he stole a dog.
December 25, 2018
➳What the heck did I just read... WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?!
➳I am very well aware of the warning the author provides in the synopsis, however, the fact that someone wants to write about the lack of consent during sexual encounters as a motivation to have the reader reading more of said story is something that I am trying to find out why it is in any way okay. When a girl, or a boy says "no", "stop that", "can you please stop?", "do not touch me!", that right there states to back off, step away and to just not touch. It doesn't mean "Oh keep going because I like it when you touch me without my permission..."
➳I mean, I am all for jerk hero's that turn into mush once they meet their partner, their mate, their one true love. I did not want to read halfway through this story and give up and rate it because I am not one who likes to just DNF a novel and give it a rating if I didn't properly finish it. So now that I did finish it, I can officially say this is by far the worst book I have read this year. What a way to come to the end of the year am I right? I honestly do not know what Sam Mariano was thinking. If wanting to portray to the reader that a bad jock, who is rich and gets everything he wants and does not get "no's" from anyone can get a sweet virgin girl who will bend for his will was the message she wanted to get through, maybe she should not have had that first encounter of the first and second chapter be of three guys taking advantage, both physically and emotionally or a virgin girl when she was constantly saying "no." I do not like to use the "R" word that rhymes with tape, but that is what the main male character in this story was very close on doing.
➳Once he got her to trust him, he slowly started drawing his walls down so he can let her in and she could let him in as well. But I do not like how the process of her getting there went. There was a lot of confusion because sometimes I did enjoy their banter, when he stated a set of claim on her whenever he kissed her, whenever he got jealous. That's something that I truly enjoy in a male character, but I do not like the way he was when wanting to stake control over her. Especially when she was in a vulnerable state of mind that should have sent a trigger to back away and to stop.
➳Overall just to recap everything, if you like main characters that just want to take without any consent then this is your book. But I would never recommend this book after fully reading it. When I first read the synopsis, I instantly sent it to my friend Vic but now I regret it one hundred percent. I fully support authors who spend time writing a novel because it is indeed something that requires time to do, but when the story has a message of non-consensual sex tan I am out the door... Very disappointed.
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➳I am very well aware of the warning the author provides in the synopsis, however, the fact that someone wants to write about the lack of consent during sexual encounters as a motivation to have the reader reading more of said story is something that I am trying to find out why it is in any way okay. When a girl, or a boy says "no", "stop that", "can you please stop?", "do not touch me!", that right there states to back off, step away and to just not touch. It doesn't mean "Oh keep going because I like it when you touch me without my permission..."
➳I mean, I am all for jerk hero's that turn into mush once they meet their partner, their mate, their one true love. I did not want to read halfway through this story and give up and rate it because I am not one who likes to just DNF a novel and give it a rating if I didn't properly finish it. So now that I did finish it, I can officially say this is by far the worst book I have read this year. What a way to come to the end of the year am I right? I honestly do not know what Sam Mariano was thinking. If wanting to portray to the reader that a bad jock, who is rich and gets everything he wants and does not get "no's" from anyone can get a sweet virgin girl who will bend for his will was the message she wanted to get through, maybe she should not have had that first encounter of the first and second chapter be of three guys taking advantage, both physically and emotionally or a virgin girl when she was constantly saying "no." I do not like to use the "R" word that rhymes with tape, but that is what the main male character in this story was very close on doing.
➳Once he got her to trust him, he slowly started drawing his walls down so he can let her in and she could let him in as well. But I do not like how the process of her getting there went. There was a lot of confusion because sometimes I did enjoy their banter, when he stated a set of claim on her whenever he kissed her, whenever he got jealous. That's something that I truly enjoy in a male character, but I do not like the way he was when wanting to stake control over her. Especially when she was in a vulnerable state of mind that should have sent a trigger to back away and to stop.
➳Overall just to recap everything, if you like main characters that just want to take without any consent then this is your book. But I would never recommend this book after fully reading it. When I first read the synopsis, I instantly sent it to my friend Vic but now I regret it one hundred percent. I fully support authors who spend time writing a novel because it is indeed something that requires time to do, but when the story has a message of non-consensual sex tan I am out the door... Very disappointed.
➳Follow Me On:
Blog ♕ Instagram ♕ Facebook ♕ Twitter
April 30, 2021
Seriously, this is some Luke and Laura shit right here. If Luke had been sober and a conniving bastard.
You know the last Sam Mariano book I read pissed me off due to dubcon. This one decimates noncon but I can’t seem to care. So, either this book is better or I’ve become desensitized. Imma go with this one being better.
I like Zoey, we need more Zoeys in this world. Stand up, even when it hurts!
Manipulative, condescending, chauvinistic, psychotic, brown nosing fuckboy with an undeserved hero complex. So why do I like him? Hell if I know.
God it almost pisses me off how charming and likable he is. Key word is almost.
Hmm awfully defensive about the beginnings of his sex life.
She finally loses her shit and suddenly he’s reasonable. This guy is adorable!
Ugh! This one made me lose sleep, that hasn’t happened in a while.
And now they’re like Ross and Rachel ... ‘We were on a break!’ ... I hate angst but I get it.
So devious, I should hate it but you know I don’t.
Welp! After her grade ranking discussion with the guidance counselor I finally kinda hate him. Silver spoon sucking motherfucker.
Damn, I can see now why he was defensive about his early sex life. That’s just so sad and fucked up.
What started out as a cautionary tale of horror ended up being as whimsical as a fairy tale. The Disney variety of course.
You know the last Sam Mariano book I read pissed me off due to dubcon. This one decimates noncon but I can’t seem to care. So, either this book is better or I’ve become desensitized. Imma go with this one being better.
I like Zoey, we need more Zoeys in this world. Stand up, even when it hurts!
Manipulative, condescending, chauvinistic, psychotic, brown nosing fuckboy with an undeserved hero complex. So why do I like him? Hell if I know.
God it almost pisses me off how charming and likable he is. Key word is almost.
Hmm awfully defensive about the beginnings of his sex life.
She finally loses her shit and suddenly he’s reasonable. This guy is adorable!
Ugh! This one made me lose sleep, that hasn’t happened in a while.
And now they’re like Ross and Rachel ... ‘We were on a break!’ ... I hate angst but I get it.
So devious, I should hate it but you know I don’t.
Welp! After her grade ranking discussion with the guidance counselor I finally kinda hate him. Silver spoon sucking motherfucker.
Damn, I can see now why he was defensive about his early sex life. That’s just so sad and fucked up.
What started out as a cautionary tale of horror ended up being as whimsical as a fairy tale. The Disney variety of course.
December 17, 2021
the heroine really told the hero 'you can rape me. just don't fuck someone else'
how sacrificial of her 🥰
how sacrificial of her 🥰
April 21, 2021
Oh man this couple was truly fantastic. How well suited they are for each other 🙏🏽 So in case you've been living under a rock or just being a sensible human being and keeping your ass far far away from this book, I'll explain that the first three chapters in this the hero sexually assaults the heroine.
To give you some background: a football player named Jake had grabbed Zoey's (h) boob without her consent, so she stood up for herself, told people what he did, and he was kicked off the team. In retaliation, this book opens with Jake, Carter (H), and another one of their teammates cornering her in an empty classroom, stripping her, and then Carter forces her to suck his dick. This begins our foray into the beautifully dysfunctional relationship that we know as ✨Zoey and Carter✨
So after that happens, Zoey is shocked. She has morals, backbone, and logic, which is why she went through the appropriate channels for dealing with Jake's unwanted advances, but with Carter, she realizes she's dealing with a whole different beast. She is worried about not speaking up and having other girls repeat her experience, but given that Carter is on a god level in their town and won't be punished, she knows she's gotta switch up her tactics. She's also just kinda fascinated by the ruthless psyche she witnessed in that room.
So Zoey, being the self-sacrificing soldier that she is, decides to take one for the team and occupy his attentions because she knows she can handle it, while other girls for sure couldn't. Fr call this girl Steve Rogers cause she's jumping on the grenade y'all.
But you know what, usually the idea of her putting herself in this situation because she thinks she can 'handle it' would have me rolling my eyes at the gall and stupidity, but I gotta give it to the girl, she really does handle it 🤷🏽♀️ I loved this girl. Truly. I don't think I've ever exhausted so much brain power trying to decide if I thought a heroine was hella smart or hella dumb, and you know what... I'm settling on smart. She turned a sexual assault into four years of free tuition at Columbia and a dude who's obsessed with her so yanno what... go off sis. I also seriously just loved her personality a ton. If more bully romances had heroines like her, I would read this subgenre way more.
Her mind was actually a fascinating place, and her being able to spar with Carter and meet him on his level was just a pleasure to read. Sure, there were times that I was confused by her, like when she would vent to Carter about her feminist views, double standards, or how Jake deserved what he got for what he did and I'd just be reading like girl I'm with you but.... do you not... see... the hypocrisy here...
Or when she was talking to Carter about bdsm and consensual non-consent role playing I was just like omg ...... literally what about this man makes you think he gives a fuck about consent.. Was it the part where he stripped you naked and face-fucked you? Let me try to find the sense....
This book kinda mindfucked me with how casual they were about the initial sexual assault. I was like damn I guess I need to get with the program. I promise when it comes to toxic behavior I'm not usually so slow on the uptake, but I feel like usually with that type of stuff the action is quick, but the lamenting on the act/emotional consequences take time to move on from. Not for these two 🤡 They were quick af with the emotional rebound rate, forreal making casual references to it like he didn't actually suffocate her with his dick just 20 pages before. I was just reading like um guys... remember that thing he said tho.... about how he wanted to use her blood as lube.... no? Just me? Okey
Now onto Carter. How can I ever describe such a complex character....
Oh, easy.
------- *But*
someone shouts in the distance: 🗣 "No buts, TJ!"
me: *dutifully ignores it*
*But 😏😏😏*
Anyone with a lick of common sense hearing me say that:
I'm sorry but Carter was dare I say... perfect? He just cracked me up. I loved how blunt he was and how he was so authentically himself. Also, one of the main things I look for in a romance hero is presence, and that boy just had it in spades. Unlike some of these other high school bully heroes, I really understood why he'd be king shit, top of the food chain, the center of the orbit.
When boys screw up, they send flowers.
Carter sends chaos.
He had me hook, line, and sinker, when he said this line
The way their damaged pieces fit together was just perfect. By the end I really thought their qualities brought out the best in each other, and I loved how their fucked up brains had such respect for each other. They met their match on that first day and there was no going back.
Now there were only two things that bugged me here:
→ I didn't like all the pregnancy stuff. Both me and this girl have been very accepting about a lot of things Carter, so just wear the fucking condom you're making me nervous 🔪🔪🔪
→ Chloe was lowkey annoying. I never realized how much I appreciated reading the unrealistic kids some authors feed us in books. You know the ones who have a sense of humor and act like they're 20 years old. Chloe was just a regular ass kid and I was ooo now I remember why I don't fuck with children. They stank.
Also before I wrap this thing up, Kasey is amazing and I am very curious about that gentleman in the epilogue!!
To give you some background: a football player named Jake had grabbed Zoey's (h) boob without her consent, so she stood up for herself, told people what he did, and he was kicked off the team. In retaliation, this book opens with Jake, Carter (H), and another one of their teammates cornering her in an empty classroom, stripping her, and then Carter forces her to suck his dick. This begins our foray into the beautifully dysfunctional relationship that we know as ✨Zoey and Carter✨
So after that happens, Zoey is shocked. She has morals, backbone, and logic, which is why she went through the appropriate channels for dealing with Jake's unwanted advances, but with Carter, she realizes she's dealing with a whole different beast. She is worried about not speaking up and having other girls repeat her experience, but given that Carter is on a god level in their town and won't be punished, she knows she's gotta switch up her tactics. She's also just kinda fascinated by the ruthless psyche she witnessed in that room.
So Zoey, being the self-sacrificing soldier that she is, decides to take one for the team and occupy his attentions because she knows she can handle it, while other girls for sure couldn't. Fr call this girl Steve Rogers cause she's jumping on the grenade y'all.
But you know what, usually the idea of her putting herself in this situation because she thinks she can 'handle it' would have me rolling my eyes at the gall and stupidity, but I gotta give it to the girl, she really does handle it 🤷🏽♀️ I loved this girl. Truly. I don't think I've ever exhausted so much brain power trying to decide if I thought a heroine was hella smart or hella dumb, and you know what... I'm settling on smart. She turned a sexual assault into four years of free tuition at Columbia and a dude who's obsessed with her so yanno what... go off sis. I also seriously just loved her personality a ton. If more bully romances had heroines like her, I would read this subgenre way more.
“Sometimes I am afraid of you,” I offer, since we’re being honest. “I don’t know exactly what you’re capable of, what your limits are, if you even have any. You’re definitely a gamble. But as long as you don’t actually, physically kill me, I’ll survive you. I’ll survive everybody. I don’t give outsiders enough access to my inner world to destroy me. They could torch everything they’re able to reach, and I’d still have a lot left."
Her mind was actually a fascinating place, and her being able to spar with Carter and meet him on his level was just a pleasure to read. Sure, there were times that I was confused by her, like when she would vent to Carter about her feminist views, double standards, or how Jake deserved what he got for what he did and I'd just be reading like girl I'm with you but.... do you not... see... the hypocrisy here...
Or when she was talking to Carter about bdsm and consensual non-consent role playing I was just like omg ...... literally what about this man makes you think he gives a fuck about consent.. Was it the part where he stripped you naked and face-fucked you? Let me try to find the sense....
This book kinda mindfucked me with how casual they were about the initial sexual assault. I was like damn I guess I need to get with the program. I promise when it comes to toxic behavior I'm not usually so slow on the uptake, but I feel like usually with that type of stuff the action is quick, but the lamenting on the act/emotional consequences take time to move on from. Not for these two 🤡 They were quick af with the emotional rebound rate, forreal making casual references to it like he didn't actually suffocate her with his dick just 20 pages before. I was just reading like um guys... remember that thing he said tho.... about how he wanted to use her blood as lube.... no? Just me? Okey
Now onto Carter. How can I ever describe such a complex character....
Oh, easy.
------- *But*
someone shouts in the distance: 🗣 "No buts, TJ!"
me: *dutifully ignores it*
*But 😏😏😏*
Anyone with a lick of common sense hearing me say that:
I'm sorry but Carter was dare I say... perfect? He just cracked me up. I loved how blunt he was and how he was so authentically himself. Also, one of the main things I look for in a romance hero is presence, and that boy just had it in spades. Unlike some of these other high school bully heroes, I really understood why he'd be king shit, top of the food chain, the center of the orbit.
When boys screw up, they send flowers.
Carter sends chaos.
He had me hook, line, and sinker, when he said this line
“Oh, Zoey,” he begins, reaching out and touching my face. The feigned sympathy dripping from each syllable is so condescending, it makes my gut wrench, but I can’t look away from him. “If you’re looking for Prince Charming and I’m your best shot, you are in a truly dire situation.”
The way their damaged pieces fit together was just perfect. By the end I really thought their qualities brought out the best in each other, and I loved how their fucked up brains had such respect for each other. They met their match on that first day and there was no going back.
"I love the breadth of your mind."
“I spend every day of my life with people who like the look of a mask I wear, Zoey. You’re the only person who likes what's underneath better."
Now there were only two things that bugged me here:
→ I didn't like all the pregnancy stuff. Both me and this girl have been very accepting about a lot of things Carter, so just wear the fucking condom you're making me nervous 🔪🔪🔪
→ Chloe was lowkey annoying. I never realized how much I appreciated reading the unrealistic kids some authors feed us in books. You know the ones who have a sense of humor and act like they're 20 years old. Chloe was just a regular ass kid and I was ooo now I remember why I don't fuck with children. They stank.
Also before I wrap this thing up, Kasey is amazing and I am very curious about that gentleman in the epilogue!!
April 30, 2019
Warning: This book is provocative. It is categorized as a DARK ROMANCE for A REASON. It will not be for everyone. If you are a reader with certain triggers or sensitivities common to the dark romance genre, please heed the author’s note at the beginning of this book.
Heed the authors warning because straight off the bat I knew for a fact that this book wouldn't be for everyone and the author doesn’t make any apologies for that, she’s gone where many authors won’t attempt to go. It will drag you kicking out of your comfort zones like no other book has. it's graphic, it's in your face, it's dark, it's twisted, it's a train wreck of words that you just can't stop reading, it's going to make you stop and question everything about yourself.
The very first initial scene between the heroine and our hero Carter and Zoey, is where your comfort levels will be tested. Carter the boy she had never even spoken to, took bullying up a whole other level, he broke boundaries that no boy should ever break, his behaviour was beyond despicable. It was not ok. I was not ok reading it.
“If you’re looking for Prince Charming and I’m your best shot, you’re truly in a dire situation.”
It started off truly ugly, wtf was coming out of my mouth like a stuck record, over and over again. I cursed ones that had recommended this, I cursed myself for pushing through and rating it 4 stars.
For me this was a truly mindf#ck of a read, not once did I condone his behaviour but beauty came out of such ugliness, and like a yo-yo my mind kept going backwards and forwards, I despised him, but then out of the blue I started warming to him. This truly put me through the wringer.
Read
January 6, 20232.5✨
so i did enjoy it for a second there, like the first 20%
”Here’s the thing,” he tells me, opening his driver’s side door and tossing his gym bag inside. Then he closes the door and leans against it, shoving his hands into the pockets of his gray sweats. “Remember yesterday I said I’m not a tit man? I’m not, but I can’t stop thinking about yours.”
Shaking my head as I look off at the street to avoid looking at him, I say, “That’s… I honestly don’t even know how to respond to that.”
“I suggest lifting your shirt and giving me a peek,” he offers.
“Suggestion denied.”
He shrugs. “It was worth a shot. So, dinner.”
^ that was after he forced her to suck his dick
(first 3 chap aside), i found this boy freaking adorable ☺️
”Tell me the truth,” I say, refusing to hug him back.
“I am telling you the truth,” he insists, calmly. He keeps one hand secured around me to keep me from escaping his hold and runs the other one up and down my back in a reassuringly tender gesture. “Nothing happened between me and Erika,” he continues. “It’s a coincidence that part of the scenario she tossed out actually happened. You know me. If I had wanted to get off, I would’ve made you do it, not called in a sub.”
I would’ve made you do it shouldn’t reassure me, but it’s so damn true, it’s kind of hard to refute. “You promise?” I mutter.
them as a couple actually be cute in their own ways 🥰
”You like me but you want to hurt me?” I question.
“It’s not about hurting you.”
Progress! “Hurting me doesn’t… do anything for you?”
Frowning faintly, he shakes his head. “No, pain doesn’t do much for me. It’s the struggle, I guess. I do like overpowering you. Mentally, physically—I just like taking you on. I don’t know why, exactly; I guess I’ve never felt so well-matched. Hell, I like doing it even when I know I’m not going to fuck you, just to see the fear in your eyes. That’s fucked up, isn’t it?”
i get why he was the way he was. socios that r scary (hot) & endearing at the same time r my type of socios
now other thoughts 🏈
#1 how casually they talk bout the sexual assault that happened just few pages before? …. but yeah not surprising
#2 : i was okay (ignored, but accepted) w/ the first 3 chapters but loathed, loathed, loathed that scene at the first part where cart manipulated soey into coming using grace as his bait. there’s just something that didnt bode well w/ me w/ the way he treated her at that moment. it was actually the beginning of my dislikeness for this book started
#3 : bcoz right after that? ya guess right the bitches got together. kinda felt like i was missing a chapter honestly. it was expected, i rlly was in the process of liking carter, warm up to him & all that, by that point. but not yet. a girl needed more time kay so point of this point is that i thought they got together way too quickly.
i actually prefer it if their relationship were just as fuck buddies? boyfriend-girlfriend seemed too final y'know
OK NO JK IDVE DITCHED THIS BOOK THE SEC ONE OF THEM CHEATS ON EACH OTHER
#4 : their first sex scene tarnished whatever hope i had left that i'll at least enjoy the smut. it wasn't forced per se, but there was still a bit of a reluctant consent from the heroine’s part. not the all twisted fun games, but realistically annoying. she said no, they were fooling around and he promised her he wouldnt take her virginity that day, promised he’ll wait. then 10 seconds or so later he asked her whether or not she’ll hate him if he did, she said no, but she didnt want to still. the awesome hero that he is, (interpreting that as a permission) he did anyway, without a condom no less.
he had 1 in his wallet, he just didnt want to use em
#5 : zoeys helplessness whenever carter forced her into something was fuuuuuuuuucking frustrating. it made me anxious and not in a fun way
#6 next reason is : ladies and gents, none other than i was bored (my interest was going downhill after that party scene & once they got together, but i kept reading). like i still tried to trudge through some more for carter the dude but nothing happened. nothing that i deemed interesting at least. there were just some petty ass drama w/ jake, erica-whatever their faces, then some smut and them hanging out
weirdly nuf though, the reason i dnf this @ smth% wasnt bcs of the problematic relationship & characters (they encouraged the decision, but that’s not all). 6th reason is. 6th reason’s always what pushes me off the cliff altogether
one more thing, bout zoey.. the feelings i had toward her’s kinda apathetic. i had many moments in mind i wanted her to have, like for her to outmatched carter in some way or some epic girl power scene, but she did neither, so eh she’s okay whatever
overall too many inner monologue, too many uninteresting drama. didn’t hate this book, but didn’t like it either. C & Z was fit for each other, for whatever it’s worth, i’m glad they found each other
i mean
maybe
so i did enjoy it for a second there, like the first 20%
”Here’s the thing,” he tells me, opening his driver’s side door and tossing his gym bag inside. Then he closes the door and leans against it, shoving his hands into the pockets of his gray sweats. “Remember yesterday I said I’m not a tit man? I’m not, but I can’t stop thinking about yours.”
Shaking my head as I look off at the street to avoid looking at him, I say, “That’s… I honestly don’t even know how to respond to that.”
“I suggest lifting your shirt and giving me a peek,” he offers.
“Suggestion denied.”
He shrugs. “It was worth a shot. So, dinner.”
^ that was after he forced her to suck his dick
(first 3 chap aside), i found this boy freaking adorable ☺️
”Tell me the truth,” I say, refusing to hug him back.
“I am telling you the truth,” he insists, calmly. He keeps one hand secured around me to keep me from escaping his hold and runs the other one up and down my back in a reassuringly tender gesture. “Nothing happened between me and Erika,” he continues. “It’s a coincidence that part of the scenario she tossed out actually happened. You know me. If I had wanted to get off, I would’ve made you do it, not called in a sub.”
I would’ve made you do it shouldn’t reassure me, but it’s so damn true, it’s kind of hard to refute. “You promise?” I mutter.
them as a couple actually be cute in their own ways 🥰
”You like me but you want to hurt me?” I question.
“It’s not about hurting you.”
Progress! “Hurting me doesn’t… do anything for you?”
Frowning faintly, he shakes his head. “No, pain doesn’t do much for me. It’s the struggle, I guess. I do like overpowering you. Mentally, physically—I just like taking you on. I don’t know why, exactly; I guess I’ve never felt so well-matched. Hell, I like doing it even when I know I’m not going to fuck you, just to see the fear in your eyes. That’s fucked up, isn’t it?”
i get why he was the way he was. socios that r scary (hot) & endearing at the same time r my type of socios
now other thoughts 🏈
#1 how casually they talk bout the sexual assault that happened just few pages before? …. but yeah not surprising
#2 : i was okay (ignored, but accepted) w/ the first 3 chapters but loathed, loathed, loathed that scene at the first part where cart manipulated soey into coming using grace as his bait. there’s just something that didnt bode well w/ me w/ the way he treated her at that moment. it was actually the beginning of my dislikeness for this book started
#3 : bcoz right after that? ya guess right the bitches got together. kinda felt like i was missing a chapter honestly. it was expected, i rlly was in the process of liking carter, warm up to him & all that, by that point. but not yet. a girl needed more time kay so point of this point is that i thought they got together way too quickly.
i actually prefer it if their relationship were just as fuck buddies? boyfriend-girlfriend seemed too final y'know
OK NO JK IDVE DITCHED THIS BOOK THE SEC ONE OF THEM CHEATS ON EACH OTHER
#4 : their first sex scene tarnished whatever hope i had left that i'll at least enjoy the smut. it wasn't forced per se, but there was still a bit of a reluctant consent from the heroine’s part. not the all twisted fun games, but realistically annoying. she said no, they were fooling around and he promised her he wouldnt take her virginity that day, promised he’ll wait. then 10 seconds or so later he asked her whether or not she’ll hate him if he did, she said no, but she didnt want to still. the awesome hero that he is, (interpreting that as a permission) he did anyway, without a condom no less.
he had 1 in his wallet, he just didnt want to use em
#5 : zoeys helplessness whenever carter forced her into something was fuuuuuuuuucking frustrating. it made me anxious and not in a fun way
#6 next reason is : ladies and gents, none other than i was bored (my interest was going downhill after that party scene & once they got together, but i kept reading). like i still tried to trudge through some more for carter the dude but nothing happened. nothing that i deemed interesting at least. there were just some petty ass drama w/ jake, erica-whatever their faces, then some smut and them hanging out
weirdly nuf though, the reason i dnf this @ smth% wasnt bcs of the problematic relationship & characters (they encouraged the decision, but that’s not all). 6th reason is. 6th reason’s always what pushes me off the cliff altogether
one more thing, bout zoey.. the feelings i had toward her’s kinda apathetic. i had many moments in mind i wanted her to have, like for her to outmatched carter in some way or some epic girl power scene, but she did neither, so eh she’s okay whatever
overall too many inner monologue, too many uninteresting drama. didn’t hate this book, but didn’t like it either. C & Z was fit for each other, for whatever it’s worth, i’m glad they found each other
i mean
maybe
April 13, 2021
Moral of the story:
If your parents are rich, you are basically god 😇
I am feeling sorry for Jake is all.
Remind me why he didn't get his sports scholarship again 🤔?
I am feeling sorry for Jake is all.
Remind me why he didn't get his sports scholarship again 🤔?
November 18, 2022
Reread for Patreon 2022
Still 6 stars and everything I love about Dark Romance.
***********
WOW.
Wow wow wow wow.. And did I say. Wow.
I had this book recommended to me by a few people, but I hesitated because I don't really read HS Bully Romances anymore. However, I see this book as more than just a Bully Romance and it is also a very DARK romance with Assault, Rape, CNC, Manipulation, and Gas lighting. Out Hero does not deserve the title as Hero. He is an anti-hero at best and more like a villain in truth. He is forceful and controlling and willing to threaten everyone the heroine loves. And that was all in the first 20% of book.
But damn if I wasn't intrigued by Carter Mahoney.
Also by our heroine Zoey Ellis.
Zoey starts this book off as the Pariah of her school. A boy on the football team (Jake). Had felt her up after she had asked him to stop repeatedly. When she turned him in, and was very brave in doing so, Jake got suspended from Football for the rest of his Senior Year. She is bullied and called names and being treated so poorly. But her mind hasn't broken, and she is proud of herself for doing this.
Until she gets cornered in a classroom by Jake, Carter, and another boy, Shayne. They are trying to get her to take back her statement and say she lied. She stands her ground and won't back down. Even when they threaten to rape her right there. This is when Carter makes himself known and gives her the option of blowing him or getting raped vaginally. Since she is a virgin at this point, she chooses the blow job.
Zoey makes the point to say, that what they are doing to her now is way worse than when Jake just felt her up and the punishment could even be prison this time. (yeah, she is that brave while being assaulted by 3 guys.) But Carter says that he owns the whole town and he would really ruin her and no one would believe her anyway if she starts accusing more guys. This time the QB.
So yeah. This is all in the first 4 chapters. You are dropped right into this mess and it hits you right off that the description says she will fall for Carter.. the guy forcing her to suck him....
I'll be honest, I was like... How the FUCK am I going to be okay with this relationship? Is she going to be brainwashed? Is she going to be coerced? But I'll give the author this, I had to keep reading to see.
And when Carter shows up at her house the next day, bringing her soup because she stayed home sick with a sore throat (I shit you NOT!). He makes it clear that he is intrigued by her feistiness and he isn't done with her. In fact, he wants to take her out on a date! which her mother says she should accept!!!
This damn man-child has the whole town under his thumb. And I have seen that before. Its one of the reasons I don't like HS Bully Romances because I don't like or believe that a 17-18 year old kid can have THAT much power over so many people. But its more like he uses his charm and the perception people have of him and not just money, though he does do that too.
When Zoey still refuses to give in, Carter invites her best friend, Grace to a party and gets her drunk and basically threatens to rape her it forces Zoey to go and trade herself to him. (I know! But I was fascinated!) This leads to another coerced sex act, but this time she chooses to like it and he gets her off too so yay....
However, now Zoey starts to really think about his actions. She is a little fascinated about him now too. She researches him and researches his qualities and thinks about why he may be treating her this way. Its from this point where she starts to make the decision to stop fighting him (well, she still fights him but now it becomes Consensual Non Consent, because they start to figure out what he wants and what she likes together.)
I'll stop giving an exact play by play, but after listing some very terrifying aspects of this book I want to talk about why I liked it.
50% of the reason I liked it is because I love twisted Dark Romances like this one. It was almost like a Captive/Captor romance, because even though she was free, she wasn't. He could reach her at any time and no one believes her about what he is doing. So she gives in and makes the best of it. Lets him spoil her and sex her up good. (which is typical of Captor/Captive). He is so imposing and forceful and that shit gets me hot, make no mistake.
The other 50% is because of Zoey. She acknowledges and accepts the position she is in. She questions him and asks for honesty and demands respect even within this twisted game. He still always pushes her and usually gets his way, but he does respect her in a strange way. And while she doesn't "heal" him, he does chill out some and come to know where these dependencies on control and aggression come from (Childhood trauma, of course) and the play becomes more relegated to CNC and bedroom play as they come to love each other.
I also think it is helped by the length of the novel, this story could not have been rushed and it also didn't need 3 volumes. It was well paced and kept me turning every page.
Bottom Line. This is fucked romances. Don't be under any illusions. The first 4 chapters will probably scare off quite a few people and you will call me crazy. But if you like the Devil's Night Series by Penelope Douglas or other HS Bully Romances... I highly suggest you check this one out.
Again... Wow.
5 Stars (I regret nothing, only that there wasn't more)
Still 6 stars and everything I love about Dark Romance.
***********
WOW.
Wow wow wow wow.. And did I say. Wow.
I had this book recommended to me by a few people, but I hesitated because I don't really read HS Bully Romances anymore. However, I see this book as more than just a Bully Romance and it is also a very DARK romance with Assault, Rape, CNC, Manipulation, and Gas lighting. Out Hero does not deserve the title as Hero. He is an anti-hero at best and more like a villain in truth. He is forceful and controlling and willing to threaten everyone the heroine loves. And that was all in the first 20% of book.
But damn if I wasn't intrigued by Carter Mahoney.
Also by our heroine Zoey Ellis.
Zoey starts this book off as the Pariah of her school. A boy on the football team (Jake). Had felt her up after she had asked him to stop repeatedly. When she turned him in, and was very brave in doing so, Jake got suspended from Football for the rest of his Senior Year. She is bullied and called names and being treated so poorly. But her mind hasn't broken, and she is proud of herself for doing this.
Until she gets cornered in a classroom by Jake, Carter, and another boy, Shayne. They are trying to get her to take back her statement and say she lied. She stands her ground and won't back down. Even when they threaten to rape her right there. This is when Carter makes himself known and gives her the option of blowing him or getting raped vaginally. Since she is a virgin at this point, she chooses the blow job.
Zoey makes the point to say, that what they are doing to her now is way worse than when Jake just felt her up and the punishment could even be prison this time. (yeah, she is that brave while being assaulted by 3 guys.) But Carter says that he owns the whole town and he would really ruin her and no one would believe her anyway if she starts accusing more guys. This time the QB.
So yeah. This is all in the first 4 chapters. You are dropped right into this mess and it hits you right off that the description says she will fall for Carter.. the guy forcing her to suck him....
I'll be honest, I was like... How the FUCK am I going to be okay with this relationship? Is she going to be brainwashed? Is she going to be coerced? But I'll give the author this, I had to keep reading to see.
And when Carter shows up at her house the next day, bringing her soup because she stayed home sick with a sore throat (I shit you NOT!). He makes it clear that he is intrigued by her feistiness and he isn't done with her. In fact, he wants to take her out on a date! which her mother says she should accept!!!
This damn man-child has the whole town under his thumb. And I have seen that before. Its one of the reasons I don't like HS Bully Romances because I don't like or believe that a 17-18 year old kid can have THAT much power over so many people. But its more like he uses his charm and the perception people have of him and not just money, though he does do that too.
When Zoey still refuses to give in, Carter invites her best friend, Grace to a party and gets her drunk and basically threatens to rape her it forces Zoey to go and trade herself to him. (I know! But I was fascinated!) This leads to another coerced sex act, but this time she chooses to like it and he gets her off too so yay....
However, now Zoey starts to really think about his actions. She is a little fascinated about him now too. She researches him and researches his qualities and thinks about why he may be treating her this way. Its from this point where she starts to make the decision to stop fighting him (well, she still fights him but now it becomes Consensual Non Consent, because they start to figure out what he wants and what she likes together.)
I'll stop giving an exact play by play, but after listing some very terrifying aspects of this book I want to talk about why I liked it.
50% of the reason I liked it is because I love twisted Dark Romances like this one. It was almost like a Captive/Captor romance, because even though she was free, she wasn't. He could reach her at any time and no one believes her about what he is doing. So she gives in and makes the best of it. Lets him spoil her and sex her up good. (which is typical of Captor/Captive). He is so imposing and forceful and that shit gets me hot, make no mistake.
The other 50% is because of Zoey. She acknowledges and accepts the position she is in. She questions him and asks for honesty and demands respect even within this twisted game. He still always pushes her and usually gets his way, but he does respect her in a strange way. And while she doesn't "heal" him, he does chill out some and come to know where these dependencies on control and aggression come from (Childhood trauma, of course) and the play becomes more relegated to CNC and bedroom play as they come to love each other.
I also think it is helped by the length of the novel, this story could not have been rushed and it also didn't need 3 volumes. It was well paced and kept me turning every page.
Bottom Line. This is fucked romances. Don't be under any illusions. The first 4 chapters will probably scare off quite a few people and you will call me crazy. But if you like the Devil's Night Series by Penelope Douglas or other HS Bully Romances... I highly suggest you check this one out.
Again... Wow.
5 Stars (I regret nothing, only that there wasn't more)
December 3, 2021
🔹 Overall feelings:
〰 My God, I feel like I haven’t written a proper review in so long (even though it’s literally just been a couple of weeks?). I honestly don’t think I can not write a review for this book though. I have so many things to say about this book but at the same time… I kind of don’t know what to say to be honest. Ugh, this is going to be a bit of a long rant so bear with me…
🔹 Characters:
〰 We actually follow a very limited set of characters in this novel. We have Zoey and Carter (I finished this book a couple of days ago but I just had to check Goodreads again to remember their names— go figure) and their tiny group of friends. The book starts off with Zoey being cornered by Jake, Carter and one other guy in a classroom and threatened by them. We learn that Zoey got Jake (or was it Jack?) kicked off the football team after telling everyone that he sexually harassed her. Once Jake and his friends corner her in school, Carter decides to take over. To give you an idea of what happens after that, I’ll leave you with a copy of the update that I made after reading the first three chapters of this book:
〰 That said, we start off with a very poignant reminder that this is not going to be a fluffy romance. I’m usually not a reader who needs trigger warnings and I’ve read more bully romances than I can count but I will say that this book made me immensely uncomfortable. In this case, I really do think that I needed a trigger warning because while I might be used to reading about the heroine getting raped and sexually assaulted in romances, said rape and assault are never done by the freaking hero of the story. In other words, this was definitely a new reading experience for me and, unfortunately, not a good one (but I’ll get more into that later on in my review).
〰 Anyway, the characters are actually really well written. In fact, the writing style itself is surprisingly really good (hence the two starts instead of one). There is no character development whatsoever here but there is something admirable to be found in characters that stay true to themselves and are consistent in their awfulness. That’s the case with Carter specifically. He stays the same horrendous human being that he was at the beginning of the novel (and before you ask; yes, he’s also still a predator by the end of the book). Zoey is also the same dumbass that she was at the beginning but I will say that in a lot of instances I found that she was an incredibly well written character. The whole Carter situation aside, she was one of the most mature leading heroines I’ve ever read about. There’s a conversation that Zoey has with Carter at the 30% mark that I absolutely adored. It showed an incredibly mature side of Zoey and I just really appreciated that.
🔹 Zoey and Carter’s relationship:
〰 I have never, in my life, read a book that romanticizes abuse like this book does. The way Zoey thinks and acts around Carter makes it seem like if a guy is interested in me and I say no, all he has to do is force himself on me and that will for sure help win me over. Safe to say, I found that aspect incredibly disgusting and had it not been for the glorification of sexual assault, I actually would have really liked this book (especially since the writing style itself really worked for me).
〰 Having said all that, the absolute highlight of this book in my opinion happens towards the end of the book. To give a bit of context, Carter tells Zoey that he will be sleeping with other people since she refuses to go back to him (Zoey obviously can’t even look at other men without having Carter threaten to kill them but that’s besides the point of course). Anyway, so Carter tells her that she has two choices: either he rapes her or he just sleeps with someone else because he obviously can’t stay celibate for more than two seconds because he’s a man and all that (we love a king who gives his woman choices to choose from). That said, my favorite part in this entire book comes in the form of Zoey’s response to this very conflicting dilemma:
〰 this, ladies and gentlemen, is hands down my favorite quote in the entire book. Is this not the most romantic shit y’all have ever read?! I was honestly having trouble not swooning myself. She loves him so much that she would rather he literally rape her than sleep with someone else. If this isn’t the definition if a book that romanticizes rape then I don’t know what is.
🔹 Final thoughts:
〰 Nope. Writing style was great and the characters individually were well written. Their relationship however was extremely toxic and remained to be so throughout the entirety of the book. I read dark romances every other day (it’s actually one of my favorite romance sub-genres), but when the abuse is done by the hero to the heroine then this is where I draw the line. Bullying the heroine and then redeeming yourself by the end is one thing, and sexually assaulting the love interest and not showing a single ounce of regret or growth is something entirely apart. That said, I read the synopsis for one of this author’s other books and it’s very similar to this one so despite having loved the writing style, I think the tropes that this author writes are just not for me.
—————————
One of the updates I gave while reading this book : warning—has a spoiler
So remember how the hero has threatened to rape the heroine more times than I can count? He has also taken her virginity when she specifically told him that she wasn’t read to give it to him yet. Not only that, but he’s repeatedly refused to use a condom even though she has asked him to use one countless of times. That’s all horrifying on its own but here’s the real kicker:
- the hero already has a child with another woman right, and the mom is not in the picture. I’m at 60% and we just figured out why Carter refuses to wrap it up with Zoey (heroine) and listen to this:
SO MANZ IS LITERALLY TRYING TO IMPREGNATE HIS TEENAGE GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE HE WANTS TO LOCK HER DOWN AS A NANNY FOR HIS OTHER CHILD… BOY WHAT
〰 My God, I feel like I haven’t written a proper review in so long (even though it’s literally just been a couple of weeks?). I honestly don’t think I can not write a review for this book though. I have so many things to say about this book but at the same time… I kind of don’t know what to say to be honest. Ugh, this is going to be a bit of a long rant so bear with me…
🔹 Characters:
〰 We actually follow a very limited set of characters in this novel. We have Zoey and Carter (I finished this book a couple of days ago but I just had to check Goodreads again to remember their names— go figure) and their tiny group of friends. The book starts off with Zoey being cornered by Jake, Carter and one other guy in a classroom and threatened by them. We learn that Zoey got Jake (or was it Jack?) kicked off the football team after telling everyone that he sexually harassed her. Once Jake and his friends corner her in school, Carter decides to take over. To give you an idea of what happens after that, I’ll leave you with a copy of the update that I made after reading the first three chapters of this book:
The first three chapters: the Hero forces the heroine to give him a bj in front of his friends and in return, he’s going to be kind enough not to rape her. That’s so sweet of him that I’m honestly having trouble not falling for him myself.
I don’t see any scenario in which the so called hero can “redeem” himself. You simply can’t go back from something like that.
〰 That said, we start off with a very poignant reminder that this is not going to be a fluffy romance. I’m usually not a reader who needs trigger warnings and I’ve read more bully romances than I can count but I will say that this book made me immensely uncomfortable. In this case, I really do think that I needed a trigger warning because while I might be used to reading about the heroine getting raped and sexually assaulted in romances, said rape and assault are never done by the freaking hero of the story. In other words, this was definitely a new reading experience for me and, unfortunately, not a good one (but I’ll get more into that later on in my review).
〰 Anyway, the characters are actually really well written. In fact, the writing style itself is surprisingly really good (hence the two starts instead of one). There is no character development whatsoever here but there is something admirable to be found in characters that stay true to themselves and are consistent in their awfulness. That’s the case with Carter specifically. He stays the same horrendous human being that he was at the beginning of the novel (and before you ask; yes, he’s also still a predator by the end of the book). Zoey is also the same dumbass that she was at the beginning but I will say that in a lot of instances I found that she was an incredibly well written character. The whole Carter situation aside, she was one of the most mature leading heroines I’ve ever read about. There’s a conversation that Zoey has with Carter at the 30% mark that I absolutely adored. It showed an incredibly mature side of Zoey and I just really appreciated that.
🔹 Zoey and Carter’s relationship:
〰 I have never, in my life, read a book that romanticizes abuse like this book does. The way Zoey thinks and acts around Carter makes it seem like if a guy is interested in me and I say no, all he has to do is force himself on me and that will for sure help win me over. Safe to say, I found that aspect incredibly disgusting and had it not been for the glorification of sexual assault, I actually would have really liked this book (especially since the writing style itself really worked for me).
〰 Having said all that, the absolute highlight of this book in my opinion happens towards the end of the book. To give a bit of context, Carter tells Zoey that he will be sleeping with other people since she refuses to go back to him (Zoey obviously can’t even look at other men without having Carter threaten to kill them but that’s besides the point of course). Anyway, so Carter tells her that she has two choices: either he rapes her or he just sleeps with someone else because he obviously can’t stay celibate for more than two seconds because he’s a man and all that (we love a king who gives his woman choices to choose from). That said, my favorite part in this entire book comes in the form of Zoey’s response to this very conflicting dilemma:
“I would rather you force me than sleep with someone else.”
〰 this, ladies and gentlemen, is hands down my favorite quote in the entire book. Is this not the most romantic shit y’all have ever read?! I was honestly having trouble not swooning myself. She loves him so much that she would rather he literally rape her than sleep with someone else. If this isn’t the definition if a book that romanticizes rape then I don’t know what is.
🔹 Final thoughts:
〰 Nope. Writing style was great and the characters individually were well written. Their relationship however was extremely toxic and remained to be so throughout the entirety of the book. I read dark romances every other day (it’s actually one of my favorite romance sub-genres), but when the abuse is done by the hero to the heroine then this is where I draw the line. Bullying the heroine and then redeeming yourself by the end is one thing, and sexually assaulting the love interest and not showing a single ounce of regret or growth is something entirely apart. That said, I read the synopsis for one of this author’s other books and it’s very similar to this one so despite having loved the writing style, I think the tropes that this author writes are just not for me.
—————————
One of the updates I gave while reading this book : warning—has a spoiler
So remember how the hero has threatened to rape the heroine more times than I can count? He has also taken her virginity when she specifically told him that she wasn’t read to give it to him yet. Not only that, but he’s repeatedly refused to use a condom even though she has asked him to use one countless of times. That’s all horrifying on its own but here’s the real kicker:
- the hero already has a child with another woman right, and the mom is not in the picture. I’m at 60% and we just figured out why Carter refuses to wrap it up with Zoey (heroine) and listen to this:
“If his clear affection for her [his child] didn’t give me a strong enough vibe, his lowkey attempts to impregnate me and lock down a nanny—I’m certain now that’s his end game, whether he realizes it or not—certainly do.”
SO MANZ IS LITERALLY TRYING TO IMPREGNATE HIS TEENAGE GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE HE WANTS TO LOCK HER DOWN AS A NANNY FOR HIS OTHER CHILD… BOY WHAT
May 16, 2019
** 2.5 Stars **
I usually don't read reviews before starting a book, but I couldn't help myself this time. The 1-star reviews made me very curious.
So, here I am, a ticket to hell in hand with a guaranteed seat, because let me tell you, it wasn't that bad.
Abuse content?? Indeed. But I've read worse, much much worse.
From the top of my head, I'll give you a few names that would make Carter Mahoney look like a puppy:
Caleb from Captive in the Dark by C.J. Roberts.
Q from Monster in The Dark
Knox Bishop from Flawed by Francette Phal
The Goodbye Man by Ashleigh Giannoccaro
Luka from Sordid by Nikki Sloane
Taking thosebad boys heartless, soulless and inhumane characters into consideration, I seriously think this book was a walk in the park.
I was so fired up! what a letdown.
It's just a shame that the execution failed in my opinion.
1) Too many inner talks from h, it became boring.
2) How quick she got over what happened to her in that classroom.
2.1)To make matters worse, she started to analyze the H trying to find a "reason" behind his attitude way too soon in the story.
Summing up, lacking development to make this credible.
Peace, folks!
I usually don't read reviews before starting a book, but I couldn't help myself this time. The 1-star reviews made me very curious.
So, here I am, a ticket to hell in hand with a guaranteed seat, because let me tell you, it wasn't that bad.
Abuse content?? Indeed. But I've read worse, much much worse.
From the top of my head, I'll give you a few names that would make Carter Mahoney look like a puppy:
Caleb from Captive in the Dark by C.J. Roberts.
Q from Monster in The Dark
Knox Bishop from Flawed by Francette Phal
The Goodbye Man by Ashleigh Giannoccaro
Luka from Sordid by Nikki Sloane
Taking those
I was so fired up! what a letdown.
It's just a shame that the execution failed in my opinion.
1) Too many inner talks from h, it became boring.
2) How quick she got over what happened to her in that classroom.
2.1)To make matters worse, she started to analyze the H trying to find a "reason" behind his attitude way too soon in the story.
Summing up, lacking development to make this credible.
Peace, folks!
August 22, 2023
Reread 2023 It just had to be done, read this again when I’m in the biggest slump ever. This time I found her a bit annoying, but the “Fuck this” stellar moment still had its magic.
Go ahead and judge me... I don’t care. Yes, I loved this twisted and maniac story, so much I didn’t even want it to finish.
I was grossed out the first few chapters, and in awe of how Sam Mariano turned all those awful events into this amazing book. I didn’t think I would like this so much. It was heavy stuff, don’t get me wrong, and I thought I would hate it, but nope. There must be something wrong with me, that’s the only explanation.
“I don’t blame anyone else for the way I behave, or pretend I’m being fair when I’m not. I know I’m fucked up, I just don’t care”
I don’t care either darling. I loved Carter and Zoey’s relationship so much that I left all my principles at the door.
But I have a question, what happens with Carter’s NY friend? Who is he and why don’t we get a book? Or do we have and I don’t even know!?
Go ahead and judge me... I don’t care. Yes, I loved this twisted and maniac story, so much I didn’t even want it to finish.
I was grossed out the first few chapters, and in awe of how Sam Mariano turned all those awful events into this amazing book. I didn’t think I would like this so much. It was heavy stuff, don’t get me wrong, and I thought I would hate it, but nope. There must be something wrong with me, that’s the only explanation.
“I don’t blame anyone else for the way I behave, or pretend I’m being fair when I’m not. I know I’m fucked up, I just don’t care”
I don’t care either darling. I loved Carter and Zoey’s relationship so much that I left all my principles at the door.
But I have a question, what happens with Carter’s NY friend? Who is he and why don’t we get a book? Or do we have and I don’t even know!?
March 24, 2020
I was NOT ready for this book! From the very start, Sam Mariano hooked me with this dark, twisted, delicious story. I love a good bully romance, but I especially love a depraved one. Carter Mahoney is just that....depraved, broken, untouchable. I was sucked in to this story from the get-go and didn't breathe until I hit the end of it. Mariano's writing is flawless and she draws you in with each wicked encounter between our hero (or villain depending on how you look at it) and heroine. This book is NOT for the weak. It's for the ones who crave a delicious, messed-up tale that eventually weaves into something not-so-painful and almost sweet. I say almost because Carter doesn't know the word sweet...but sometimes he almost gets there...ha! Definitely recommend this one! Five INSANE BUT HOT HERO stars!
![Profile Image for moonlight ☾ [semi-hiatus].](https://cdn.statically.io/img/i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/users/1645500038i/37448930._UX200_CR0,0,200,200_.jpg)
April 24, 2021
reread (37481): april 2021
ZoeyCarter supremacy. that's all imma say. ♡♡
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
reread (1): october 2020
i loved Carter and Zoey even more with this reread. 🥺❤️
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
✰ 5++ fucked up but i loved it anyways stars ✰
**trigger warning**: this book isn't for the faint of heart. i recommend skipping the first three chapters because the scene was very triggering (sexual assault and bullying from the H and his two friends to the h) but it's ur decision if you read it or not.
soo, excluding the first three chapters, everything else about this book was beautifully developed imo. Carter (H) and Zoey (h) had an... interesting dynamic. they started off the worst way possible but, seeing their relationship grow throughout the book, it was honestly hard for me to not root for them by the end.
Carter (H):
↠ if i had to describe Carter in one word, it'd be enigma. on the surface, he seems like your typical popular jock/bully you wanna steer clear of yet still admire from afar, but i thought his character was complex. i'm not rlly going to dive deep into his past bc it's best to discover it yourself, but i'll say it's fucked up and, in a strange way, i could understand his mindset bc of that reason?? there are times when i wish we had gotten his POV bc i would have loved to know what went on his mind during certain situations. i won't deny he's a manipulative mf, but i feel like he's his true self around Zoey. i started off unsure on how to feel about him but, by the end, he made his way onto my top favorite Hs.
Zoey (h):
↠ i loved Zoey!! thank god she wasn’t a doormat because, after what happened in the beginning, i would have been pissed if she just let Carter push her around all the time but nope. she stood her ground and fought back and i loved that about her. i honestly considered her the main star of the book. even tho Carter has grown on me, if Zoey wasn't how she was, i would have rated this lower LMAO. it worked for me bc she was basically on equal footing with Carter and it's why i thought they worked well as a couple.
the romance:
↠ ok listen, it's fine if you don't love these two, i understand the other perspective on why they could be seen as toxic or whatever but, for me personally, i fucking loved them. as i said earlier, i didn't like their beginning but i'm a sucker for development and i thought these two had a beautiful one in the end. the way Zoey found some common ground with Carter was actually perfect bc she has this way of being the calm to his storm. :') their back and forth banters and emotional connection were everything to me. i loved it sm!! ♡
side characters:
↠ Chloe was such an adorable child. i should have expected
↠ Brianna/Cartwright. the glimpses we had of these two, i was intrigued with their “relationship”. even tho they were pretty much just fwb, i’d love to see a romance between them.
↠ Carter's friend towards the end of the book. okayy so this dude was barely in the book. he was only in one scene and was referred to as Carter's friend rather than giving us a name so it's no surprise i'm curious about him and wonder if he's getting his own book lmaoo.
ZoeyCarter supremacy. that's all imma say. ♡♡
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
reread (1): october 2020
i loved Carter and Zoey even more with this reread. 🥺❤️
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
✰ 5++ fucked up but i loved it anyways stars ✰
**trigger warning**: this book isn't for the faint of heart. i recommend skipping the first three chapters because the scene was very triggering (sexual assault and bullying from the H and his two friends to the h) but it's ur decision if you read it or not.
soo, excluding the first three chapters, everything else about this book was beautifully developed imo. Carter (H) and Zoey (h) had an... interesting dynamic. they started off the worst way possible but, seeing their relationship grow throughout the book, it was honestly hard for me to not root for them by the end.
Carter (H):
↠ if i had to describe Carter in one word, it'd be enigma. on the surface, he seems like your typical popular jock/bully you wanna steer clear of yet still admire from afar, but i thought his character was complex. i'm not rlly going to dive deep into his past bc it's best to discover it yourself, but i'll say it's fucked up and, in a strange way, i could understand his mindset bc of that reason?? there are times when i wish we had gotten his POV bc i would have loved to know what went on his mind during certain situations. i won't deny he's a manipulative mf, but i feel like he's his true self around Zoey. i started off unsure on how to feel about him but, by the end, he made his way onto my top favorite Hs.
Zoey (h):
↠ i loved Zoey!! thank god she wasn’t a doormat because, after what happened in the beginning, i would have been pissed if she just let Carter push her around all the time but nope. she stood her ground and fought back and i loved that about her. i honestly considered her the main star of the book. even tho Carter has grown on me, if Zoey wasn't how she was, i would have rated this lower LMAO. it worked for me bc she was basically on equal footing with Carter and it's why i thought they worked well as a couple.
the romance:
↠ ok listen, it's fine if you don't love these two, i understand the other perspective on why they could be seen as toxic or whatever but, for me personally, i fucking loved them. as i said earlier, i didn't like their beginning but i'm a sucker for development and i thought these two had a beautiful one in the end. the way Zoey found some common ground with Carter was actually perfect bc she has this way of being the calm to his storm. :') their back and forth banters and emotional connection were everything to me. i loved it sm!! ♡
side characters:
↠ Chloe was such an adorable child. i should have expected
↠ Brianna/Cartwright. the glimpses we had of these two, i was intrigued with their “relationship”. even tho they were pretty much just fwb, i’d love to see a romance between them.
↠ Carter's friend towards the end of the book. okayy so this dude was barely in the book. he was only in one scene and was referred to as Carter's friend rather than giving us a name so it's no surprise i'm curious about him and wonder if he's getting his own book lmaoo.
January 24, 2022
5⭐️
idk where to begin because this whole book was SO good that i'm still at a loss for words even a day later. honestly, this book isn't for everyone but it sure is for me <3 i know everyone struggled with the first 3 chapters but damn <3 i was living for it <3 i'm messed up leave me alone. no but if you get past the first 3 chapters, congrats you won't mind the book lmao.
this review will contain spoilers
anyways, i'm gonna talk about carter now. this man lemme just say is perfection. idk what it is about him but he's my king through and through. this man has my brain in a twist. i don't think i have EVER read a character more manipulative, crazy, downright sexy, and smart at the same time. he had me fucking panting in every chapter.
i am so fucking in love with him. it was seriously insta love for me.
ok with all seriousness, i want this. THIS. i need this man already. i cannot stress this enough, I NEED CARTER. i'm at a chokehold and idk what to do.
i almost cried at this line. this man knows how to play with my fucking emotions. i want him to spit and degrade me in compromising positions to give him the biggest hug ever.
ok no but seriously when he
anyway, i don't recommend this to anyone. fuck off. lets gatekeep carter. he's not for you guys. i'm sorry. i don't like sharing.
“I spend every day of my life with people who like the look of a mask I wear, Zoey. You’re the only person who likes what’s underneath better.”
idk where to begin because this whole book was SO good that i'm still at a loss for words even a day later. honestly, this book isn't for everyone but it sure is for me <3 i know everyone struggled with the first 3 chapters but damn <3 i was living for it <3 i'm messed up leave me alone. no but if you get past the first 3 chapters, congrats you won't mind the book lmao.
this review will contain spoilers
anyways, i'm gonna talk about carter now. this man lemme just say is perfection. idk what it is about him but he's my king through and through. this man has my brain in a twist. i don't think i have EVER read a character more manipulative, crazy, downright sexy, and smart at the same time. he had me fucking panting in every chapter.
“Oh, Zoey,” he begins, reaching out and touching my face. The feigned sympathy dripping from each syllable is so condescending, it makes my gut wrench, but I can’t look away from him. “If you’re looking for Prince Charming and I’m your best shot, you are in a truly dire situation.”
i am so fucking in love with him. it was seriously insta love for me.
“We can all have fun with her,” Carter assures him, his gaze raking over me again. “She has three holes, doesn’t she? Plenty to go around.”
“I just like seeing you helpless and scared. It gets me hard. Want to feel?”
“You can feel special if you want to. I’d rather make you feel dirty. I’d rather see all your feelings in your eyes when you hear the cold bite of my voice telling you how to please me. I’d rather you half-naked, on your knees, waiting for permission to suck my cock like a good little whore.”
ok with all seriousness, i want this. THIS. i need this man already. i cannot stress this enough, I NEED CARTER. i'm at a chokehold and idk what to do.
“I used to be more normal, then I realized the world sucks, everyone in it sucks, and I needed to toughen up and look out for myself, because no one else is gonna look out for me.”
i almost cried at this line. this man knows how to play with my fucking emotions. i want
“If you fuck someone else just to spite me, you will regret it. Not as much as he will though,” he adds, silkily. “I might not have the heart to destroy you, but I damn sure won’t feel so merciful toward him. Any asshole who is seen alone with you from now on will wind up between my crosshairs. Understand?”
ok no but seriously when he
anyway, i don't recommend this to anyone. fuck off. lets gatekeep carter. he's not for you guys. i'm sorry. i don't like sharing.
September 2, 2021
OK got to 70% and then shut the book.
I am not going into the rights and wrongs in this story or the stupidity of the two MC's - read the reviews especially the 1 and 2 star reviews. They say it all. I can grind my teeth at the ridiculousness of the actions of these two BUT the one thing I can't ignore are the following actions of the two MC's.
For a book that has been marketed as a "bullying story" this title is so misleading especially considering the following happens in the story:
He has already got someone pregnant when he was around 15 (or maybe he was 13) and his "sister" is actually his daughter (yeah) so after sexually assaulting the fc at the beginning of this story he pursues her and they end up having unprotected sex several times. I am unsure what message the author is conveying with these stupid actions and what about when a girl (or boy) says no?
In this story, The MC's response is "fuck that" and he plunges into her taking her virginity. She continues to allow the unprotected sex to continue despite the fact she is meant to be "intelligent" but her lack of accountability for her actions is eye-rolling and sends out a very wrong message.
If this is his behaviour towards women as an 18-year-old Young Adult what are his actions going to be as a full-grown adult male? His behaviour towards the FC goes beyond the realm of a manipulating bully.
I could not recommend this book to any reader as this story was (for me) truly awful and sends out the completely wrong message - that this behaviour from him is acceptable.
This guy is no hero.
I am not going into the rights and wrongs in this story or the stupidity of the two MC's - read the reviews especially the 1 and 2 star reviews. They say it all. I can grind my teeth at the ridiculousness of the actions of these two BUT the one thing I can't ignore are the following actions of the two MC's.
For a book that has been marketed as a "bullying story" this title is so misleading especially considering the following happens in the story:
He has already got someone pregnant when he was around 15 (or maybe he was 13) and his "sister" is actually his daughter (yeah) so after sexually assaulting the fc at the beginning of this story he pursues her and they end up having unprotected sex several times. I am unsure what message the author is conveying with these stupid actions and what about when a girl (or boy) says no?
In this story, The MC's response is "fuck that" and he plunges into her taking her virginity. She continues to allow the unprotected sex to continue despite the fact she is meant to be "intelligent" but her lack of accountability for her actions is eye-rolling and sends out a very wrong message.
If this is his behaviour towards women as an 18-year-old Young Adult what are his actions going to be as a full-grown adult male? His behaviour towards the FC goes beyond the realm of a manipulating bully.
I could not recommend this book to any reader as this story was (for me) truly awful and sends out the completely wrong message - that this behaviour from him is acceptable.
This guy is no hero.
January 3, 2019
WTF did I just read?
The 1 star is for the author’s writing.
So Zoey the “heroine” is made to give the “Hero” Carter a blowjob in just her panties, after he gropes her and his friends are on the look out. Mind you this is punishment because Carter’s friend Jake groped Zoey and she told the school and Jake got suspended from the football season.
Next day Carter gropes her again outside her family’s home. Yet is she traumatized from all this? Nope not at all! She actually has witty conversation with him and develops a fucken relationship!!!
AGAIN when they are alone hes aggressive with her and assaulting but this time she willingly gives him a blowjob.
Then when its Zoey’s first time having sex, Carter promises to not penetrate her but does he listen? Nope!!! His exact words “fuck it” before he slams in. So they go on having sex, without protection, even though Zoey says multiple times he should use something but he doesn’t want to.
Soooo many scenes in this book had be rolling my eyes, scratching my head, swearing or wanting to throw my kindle.. but I went on because curiosity killed the cat or I’m an idiot (I guess).
I get why Zoey would be mad at Jake for groping her but what the actual fuck are you more mad at him for then Carter who made you strip and give a blowjob, touched you many times after you say “no stop” and threatened you multiple times?
She gets defensive as hell when someone says shes lying about the whole Jake thing, saying he deserved punishment meanwhile you are standing next to a fucken rapist!!! Carter’s dad kind of gets into it with Carter and Zoey the first time they meet and Zoey says talking about Jake ...”personally, I think his behavior warranted a time-out..” right but Carter’s doesn’t? Why did she not just start a relationship with Jake?!?!
She dumps him but still socializes with him daily! But what more would a reader expect? The guy basically rapes her, taunts her, threatens her and her friends and she still wants him and is alone with him all the damn time!
How the hell all the side characters - Erika and Jake - getting in trouble for much smaller events but Zoey and Carter are getting away with HUGE things.
Carter mentioned afew times Zoey was nice and saw the good in others. Howcome, the reader doesn’t get that Zoey? Frankly, she was a bitch! Zero stars for Zoey and Carter. They both deserve one another. At this point I’m a damn fan of Jake the groper!
The 1 star is for the author’s writing.
So Zoey the “heroine” is made to give the “Hero” Carter a blowjob in just her panties, after he gropes her and his friends are on the look out. Mind you this is punishment because Carter’s friend Jake groped Zoey and she told the school and Jake got suspended from the football season.
Next day Carter gropes her again outside her family’s home. Yet is she traumatized from all this? Nope not at all! She actually has witty conversation with him and develops a fucken relationship!!!
AGAIN when they are alone hes aggressive with her and assaulting but this time she willingly gives him a blowjob.
Then when its Zoey’s first time having sex, Carter promises to not penetrate her but does he listen? Nope!!! His exact words “fuck it” before he slams in. So they go on having sex, without protection, even though Zoey says multiple times he should use something but he doesn’t want to.
Soooo many scenes in this book had be rolling my eyes, scratching my head, swearing or wanting to throw my kindle.. but I went on because curiosity killed the cat or I’m an idiot (I guess).
I get why Zoey would be mad at Jake for groping her but what the actual fuck are you more mad at him for then Carter who made you strip and give a blowjob, touched you many times after you say “no stop” and threatened you multiple times?
She gets defensive as hell when someone says shes lying about the whole Jake thing, saying he deserved punishment meanwhile you are standing next to a fucken rapist!!! Carter’s dad kind of gets into it with Carter and Zoey the first time they meet and Zoey says talking about Jake ...”personally, I think his behavior warranted a time-out..” right but Carter’s doesn’t? Why did she not just start a relationship with Jake?!?!
She dumps him but still socializes with him daily! But what more would a reader expect? The guy basically rapes her, taunts her, threatens her and her friends and she still wants him and is alone with him all the damn time!
How the hell all the side characters - Erika and Jake - getting in trouble for much smaller events but Zoey and Carter are getting away with HUGE things.
Carter mentioned afew times Zoey was nice and saw the good in others. Howcome, the reader doesn’t get that Zoey? Frankly, she was a bitch! Zero stars for Zoey and Carter. They both deserve one another. At this point I’m a damn fan of Jake the groper!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 11, 2019
REVIEW: 4.5 Stars
“Do you know what you’ve done, princess? You just gave me the keys to the kingdom. There’s no stopping me now.
FIRST AND FOREMOST: There is a warning on this book for a VERY good reason. Not necessarily a trigger warning, but a warning nonetheless. This book gets very twisted very quickly.
If you think this is about a spoiled hero that only wants the one girl that ignores him and fights him off, you're correct.
Just kidding.
It's not.
It's so much more....depraved.
"Carter Mahoney is not for the faint of heart."
When an author can tell me a story and make me put myself in the shoes of the character's POV I am reading, that is awesome - it's great. I love it. When an author can make me empathize with the antihero in the book, that is amazing. But to make me cheer him on?? To make me want him to succeed in his quest?? What the heck?? Either I am SICK, because this is not ok - or she is just bringing out the depravity in ME. Ok, she's not (let's laugh together - we are laughing, right?), but I couldn't help but question myself the entire time I read this book. What is wrong with me?? Whyyyy do I like this so much?? I wanted him to get his girl!! Who thinks that way when they are doing things they should n-e-v-e-r get away with!!?? After reading this book, I'm convinced I have issues.
I've decided my new word is: WRON(G)OOD
I kid you not, I wrote that on so many messages and FB posts I made about this book because it's so wrong, but it's sooo good, and it's wrong that it's so good - so that can't be good, right? That's SOOO wrong, right?? Help...
Sam Mariano did an excellent job capturing the fear and the anger, as well as the warring emotions that come into play during and after a traumatizing experience, but she also made me empathize and understand why certain actions were reasoned the way they were. These characters are teenagers in their senior year of high school, so while you and I obviously have hindsight as adults to make smart(er) decisions, I didn't think anything was overly dramatic or stupid, which was very helpful for me to get through this one. The mindset of a teenager isn't always easy to capture in a book without them sounding like immature brats (sorry), and I most definitely feel like this one was written very well because I didn't ever feel like rolling my eyes because of drama. It was real teenage decisions and drama, relevant to their age group - so appreciative of that.
"I can make you do a lot of things, but I can't make you trust me."
I cannot believe Sam Mariano made me fall in love with an asshole. I'm serious. I found it interesting and pretty impressive that she could turn my own feelings on me. She made me validate everything, right or wrong. I mean, how can I feel this way about Carter!? I truthfully don't understand how I can feel this way about him. But see, there is always a reason. There is always a reason we fall in love with these...."heroes", right? As bad as Carter was, there was a side to him that just made me go to mush. And as mean and brash and insulting as Zoey was to Carter (rightfully so), I absolutely loved how he handled it. His comments and his actions were, for all intents and purposes, bad - but the other side of him made me smile and laugh. His demeanor brought out the sigh that he never should have received from me - but I can't say he didn't deserve that sigh either. He was confident and smart, he had the all-American good looks and great athletic ability, and to add to it - he had charisma. I could see every single thing in this book happening.....every single thing. And for there to be some reality behind this book so that I could connect and relate, that most certainly helped my non-high-school-books-reading frame of mind. Set in a small town in Texas that clearly rode on their high school football team's coattails for Friday Night Fun, this one played out like a movie I would LOVE to see on the screen.
"One fucking mistake is not who I am, and it damn sure isn't the sum total of our fucking relationship."
It's probably wrong to love a book with this type of content as much as I did, but I am not even ashamed to admit it. Was their relationship healthy? Probably not in the eyes of many, but who am I to judge? It worked for them. No, I am not romanticizing anything with this review, nor am I okay'ing any type of lascivious behavior. I am just going to say that while I know this was fiction, I also know that I am completely in love with Zoey and Carter's story and how it worked out for them. This one tested my moral compass on every level possible, not gonna lie. Because, why...how could I cheer on this bully that used any, and I mean ANY (<-- bold and capitalized) means necessary to get what he wanted, when he wanted it? The darkness of the book never scared me. Not even a little bit. The twistedness, the remorseless way in which Carter unapologetically exacted his revenge and got what he wanted made me whispers giddy. WHAT!!? I know, right? Innocent Bee loving the morally corrupt high school senior quarterback. I'm doomed.
But I'm ready for more. *rubs hands* I am ready to jump into more of Mariano's books, because if she has to ability to twist me up and captivate me like this, I am on board.
"I'll never be the safe bet, Zoey."
~BEE
PURCHASE AMAZON - Kindle Unlimited: https://amzn.to/2M33b7K
Paperback Purchase Link: https://amzn.to/2AEswk6
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(giveaway goes live later today, January 10th)
“Do you know what you’ve done, princess? You just gave me the keys to the kingdom. There’s no stopping me now.
FIRST AND FOREMOST: There is a warning on this book for a VERY good reason. Not necessarily a trigger warning, but a warning nonetheless. This book gets very twisted very quickly.
If you think this is about a spoiled hero that only wants the one girl that ignores him and fights him off, you're correct.
Just kidding.
It's not.
It's so much more....depraved.
"Carter Mahoney is not for the faint of heart."
When an author can tell me a story and make me put myself in the shoes of the character's POV I am reading, that is awesome - it's great. I love it. When an author can make me empathize with the antihero in the book, that is amazing. But to make me cheer him on?? To make me want him to succeed in his quest?? What the heck?? Either I am SICK, because this is not ok - or she is just bringing out the depravity in ME. Ok, she's not (let's laugh together - we are laughing, right?), but I couldn't help but question myself the entire time I read this book. What is wrong with me?? Whyyyy do I like this so much?? I wanted him to get his girl!! Who thinks that way when they are doing things they should n-e-v-e-r get away with!!?? After reading this book, I'm convinced I have issues.
I've decided my new word is: WRON(G)OOD
I kid you not, I wrote that on so many messages and FB posts I made about this book because it's so wrong, but it's sooo good, and it's wrong that it's so good - so that can't be good, right? That's SOOO wrong, right?? Help...
Sam Mariano did an excellent job capturing the fear and the anger, as well as the warring emotions that come into play during and after a traumatizing experience, but she also made me empathize and understand why certain actions were reasoned the way they were. These characters are teenagers in their senior year of high school, so while you and I obviously have hindsight as adults to make smart(er) decisions, I didn't think anything was overly dramatic or stupid, which was very helpful for me to get through this one. The mindset of a teenager isn't always easy to capture in a book without them sounding like immature brats (sorry), and I most definitely feel like this one was written very well because I didn't ever feel like rolling my eyes because of drama. It was real teenage decisions and drama, relevant to their age group - so appreciative of that.
"I can make you do a lot of things, but I can't make you trust me."
I cannot believe Sam Mariano made me fall in love with an asshole. I'm serious. I found it interesting and pretty impressive that she could turn my own feelings on me. She made me validate everything, right or wrong. I mean, how can I feel this way about Carter!? I truthfully don't understand how I can feel this way about him. But see, there is always a reason. There is always a reason we fall in love with these...."heroes", right? As bad as Carter was, there was a side to him that just made me go to mush. And as mean and brash and insulting as Zoey was to Carter (rightfully so), I absolutely loved how he handled it. His comments and his actions were, for all intents and purposes, bad - but the other side of him made me smile and laugh. His demeanor brought out the sigh that he never should have received from me - but I can't say he didn't deserve that sigh either. He was confident and smart, he had the all-American good looks and great athletic ability, and to add to it - he had charisma. I could see every single thing in this book happening.....every single thing. And for there to be some reality behind this book so that I could connect and relate, that most certainly helped my non-high-school-books-reading frame of mind. Set in a small town in Texas that clearly rode on their high school football team's coattails for Friday Night Fun, this one played out like a movie I would LOVE to see on the screen.
"One fucking mistake is not who I am, and it damn sure isn't the sum total of our fucking relationship."
It's probably wrong to love a book with this type of content as much as I did, but I am not even ashamed to admit it. Was their relationship healthy? Probably not in the eyes of many, but who am I to judge? It worked for them. No, I am not romanticizing anything with this review, nor am I okay'ing any type of lascivious behavior. I am just going to say that while I know this was fiction, I also know that I am completely in love with Zoey and Carter's story and how it worked out for them. This one tested my moral compass on every level possible, not gonna lie. Because, why...how could I cheer on this bully that used any, and I mean ANY (<-- bold and capitalized) means necessary to get what he wanted, when he wanted it? The darkness of the book never scared me. Not even a little bit. The twistedness, the remorseless way in which Carter unapologetically exacted his revenge and got what he wanted made me whispers giddy. WHAT!!? I know, right? Innocent Bee loving the morally corrupt high school senior quarterback. I'm doomed.
But I'm ready for more. *rubs hands* I am ready to jump into more of Mariano's books, because if she has to ability to twist me up and captivate me like this, I am on board.
"I'll never be the safe bet, Zoey."
~BEE
PURCHASE AMAZON - Kindle Unlimited: https://amzn.to/2M33b7K
Paperback Purchase Link: https://amzn.to/2AEswk6
ENTER HERE FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN AN ECOPY: http://bit.ly/2FlFMOr
(giveaway goes live later today, January 10th)
April 23, 2024
an absolute dumpster fire.
if i could unread a book.. i would.
if i could unread a book.. i would.
December 27, 2018
I was drawn in the minute I started the book and found it difficult to put down.I must admit reading the beginning of this book was difficult. It does have triggers, so if it’s not your thing then this book isn’t for you.
You may hate hero in the beginning but you will grow to love him.
This is a different love story. I have read a few dark romances before but i have to say this will be on my top list.
It was raw and brokenly beautiful story .
I absolutely loved it. I highly recommend it!!!!
You may hate hero in the beginning but you will grow to love him.
This is a different love story. I have read a few dark romances before but i have to say this will be on my top list.
It was raw and brokenly beautiful story .
I absolutely loved it. I highly recommend it!!!!
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June 7, 2020
I find this book almost impossible to rate.
Parts of it are 4/5 stars. Other parts of it are 1 star. Let me try and break this down for you all.
This is, at least initially, a dark bully romance that starts out with the hero pretty much forcing the heroine to blow him in a classroom. Call me twisted, but that's one of my favourite parts of the book. I actually think it's really well-written, sexual-harassment type bullying is infinitely preferable to the physical-harm type other books have, and in general I thought the book gets off on the right foot.
Things progress well. In fact, things are fine for at least half the book. There's an impressively well-written character arc on the heroine's part that allows her to start falling for the hero (I see it as kind of a mutual Stockholm Syndrome, where they become both basically obsessed with each other). But then we discover two things that absolutely are 1-star things for me:
1. At some point before the hero and heroine have sex for the first time, he goes to an OW's house and passes out in a bed with her. The OW films it and shows the heroine. They don't have sex, but they certainly hook up, and it's disgusting.
2. The hero has a daughter. This is the product of a babysitter who raped him when he was younger though, so I could have worked through it if this had been the only OW incident. Paired with the above, though, I actually stopped reading and DNFed the book.
But I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I went back. The heroine does break up with the hero and he essentially blackmails her into returning, as well as punishing the OW, but I wish these scenes were more protracted. She doesn't forgive him easily but nor does she make him really grovel.
I really hate the fact that the OW plotline exists because otherwise the book is perfect. I keep rereading my favourite bits. Unfortunately that plotline does exist though so I've gone with 3 stars.
[Blog] - [Bookstagram]
Parts of it are 4/5 stars. Other parts of it are 1 star. Let me try and break this down for you all.
This is, at least initially, a dark bully romance that starts out with the hero pretty much forcing the heroine to blow him in a classroom. Call me twisted, but that's one of my favourite parts of the book. I actually think it's really well-written, sexual-harassment type bullying is infinitely preferable to the physical-harm type other books have, and in general I thought the book gets off on the right foot.
Things progress well. In fact, things are fine for at least half the book. There's an impressively well-written character arc on the heroine's part that allows her to start falling for the hero (I see it as kind of a mutual Stockholm Syndrome, where they become both basically obsessed with each other). But then we discover two things that absolutely are 1-star things for me:
1. At some point before the hero and heroine have sex for the first time, he goes to an OW's house and passes out in a bed with her. The OW films it and shows the heroine. They don't have sex, but they certainly hook up, and it's disgusting.
2. The hero has a daughter. This is the product of a babysitter who raped him when he was younger though, so I could have worked through it if this had been the only OW incident. Paired with the above, though, I actually stopped reading and DNFed the book.
But I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I went back. The heroine does break up with the hero and he essentially blackmails her into returning, as well as punishing the OW, but I wish these scenes were more protracted. She doesn't forgive him easily but nor does she make him really grovel.
I really hate the fact that the OW plotline exists because otherwise the book is perfect. I keep rereading my favourite bits. Unfortunately that plotline does exist though so I've gone with 3 stars.
[Blog] - [Bookstagram]
Shelved as 'never-no-way'
December 26, 2018This is a book I should never touch - untouchable, indeed, in that sense!
The H sexually assaults the h. It’s almost a RAPE.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
The H sexually assaults the h. It’s almost a RAPE.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
December 24, 2018
Need to think about this book, can’t decide if I liked it or not.
Update;
Well since this is the fourth time I borrowed again from KU it means I must like it so I think my rating fits my feelings.
Update;
Well since this is the fourth time I borrowed again from KU it means I must like it so I think my rating fits my feelings.
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