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Rules

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This Newbery Honor Book is a heartfelt and witty story about feeling different and finding acceptance--beyond the rules. Twelve-year-old Catherine just wants a normal life. Which is near impossible when you have a brother with autism and a family that revolves around his disability. She's spent years trying to teach David the rules-from "a peach is not a funny-looking apple" to "keep your pants on in public"-in order to stop his embarrassing behaviors. But the summer Catherine meets Jason, a paraplegic boy, and Kristi, the next-door friend she's always wished for, it's her own shocking behavior that turns everything upside down and forces her to ask: What is normal?

208 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2006

About the author

Cynthia Lord

31 books487 followers
I'm the author of the children's book, RULES."

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5 stars
21,893 (34%)
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3 stars
13,632 (21%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 5,420 reviews
Profile Image for Swee'tea.
15 reviews8 followers
December 30, 2008
This is a quick read, I read it in about a week or so. It is a VERY good book! What I liked best about the book, is how Cynthia Lord(the author) really understands how it's like to live with people with autism. I know this because she came to my school, and I met her. I liked how the book was about a who has the same experiences that I do, having a sibling with autism. I don't just recommend only people with relatives with autism to read this, I recommend everyone reading it. I have shared it with my Aunt, because she also has a daughter with autism. I would recommend this book to my friends so they could get a glimpse of what my life is like sometimes, because a lot of my friends and people I see really don't understand.


Fellow Reader,
Swee'Tea
2 reviews1 follower
April 17, 2013
Horrible book, as a person with autism I am completely sick of how people constantly use the victim mentality when referring to their children or siblings with autism. It also enforces many stereotypes of those with autism, most of which are untrue or completely uneducated. Frankly speaking, it disgusts me. If this book had been well written it may have gotten two stars at the most. Horribly written, bad plot, poorly researched, and disgustingly ableist. All and all a horrible book.
Profile Image for Rebecca.
112 reviews
September 13, 2011
I've been trying to think of the best way to talk about this book. I read it in a night and then forced it upon my mother -who hardly ever makes the time to read- and she finished it in a night. Someday, when my sister is ready, I will have her read it too. This book was so sweet, and at moments, heart-wrenching. It's a simple story about a young girl who wants to be known for herself - not David's sister. Her eight-year-old brother has autism and because of his special needs, often takes the attention of their parents.

Catherine is in a tricky place. She loves her brother, so much that she regularly adds to a list of 'rules' for him - things that the average person instinctively knows or learns very quickly - but David needs to be taught. Some of the rules are hilarious, "If it fits in your mouth, it's food." Some are heartbreaking, "Sometimes people laugh when they like you. Sometimes they laugh to hurt you." Yet, as much as she cares for David, he complicates her life. Her parents thrust babysitting duties on her constantly, her father rarely spends time with her alone - but he will with David, her brother is constantly embarrassing her in front of friends and neighbors. To further complicate things, they have a new next door neighbor who's Catherine's age and she does everything she can to hide David's behavior so that her new friend won't find out. Catherine also starts up a friendship with a boy at David's therapy clinic who can only communicate by pointing at the pictures in his phrasebook.

It's a good story, but it really was the moments between Catherine and David that struck me so much. My seven-year-old nephew is autistic and there were so many moments that felt all too familiar. Not all unpleasant, but familiar. One of Catherine's rules is "If you don't have the words you need - borrow someone else's." David takes this to heart and is perpetually quoting Arnold Lobel's "Frog and Toad" book to express how he feels, and Catherine will respond back with the next line. At one point, Catherine is so angry at something David does, that she refuses to respond to his usual line, "I'm sorry, Frog." The panic that David goes through when the usual routine is messed up broke my heart. It is such a fragile, sweet relationship and watching Catherine figure out who she is and, more importantly, who she wants to be is such a nice journey.

I recommend this to anyone whose lives have been touched by autism or who would like to see how families deal with the day to day routines with an autistic child. A beautiful story.

Profile Image for Jennifer Wardrip.
Author 5 books510 followers
November 16, 2012
Reviewed by Me for TeensReadToo.com

You can always tell when you're reading a book that has a basis in truth. With RULES, author Cynthia Lord writes about what it's like to live with autism, and she should know, since she has an autistic child.

That ring of truth is there, in every word, when you read the story of twelve-year old Catherine and her autistic younger brother, David.David hates loud noises. If there's a cloud in the sky, he has to take his red umbrella with him. If his dad says he'll be home at five o'clock, David starts going crazy at five-oh-one. He likes to rewind his movie of Thomas the Tank Engine to his favorite part, over and over and over again. His favorite place to visit is the video store, where he'll even lay on the floor to read the back of the movie box a stranger is holding in his hand. And he knows all the words to Arnold Lobel's FROG AND TOAD.

For Catherine, though, it's a much different story. She hates the way people stare at her brother, or even worse, refuse to look at him at all. She's jealous of the time David gets to spend, one-on-one, with their pharmacist father. She hates David's rules, the strict adherence to which he is obsessed with them, and yet she makes new rules for him every time she thinks of something else he needs to know.

Catherine copes by drawing, and one day she decides to draw the boy in the wheelchair who is in the waiting room with her at Occupational Therapy. David goes there once a week to work with a therapist, and so does the boy who doesn't speak but instead uses a book of word cards to communicate. When Catherine offers to make Jason, the boy in the wheelchair, some new cards with pictures, an unlikely friendship is born. Catherine is also excited about Kristi, her new next-door neighbor, but soon finds out that friendship is a complicated matter.

How do you protect a brother that often annoys you? How can you be friends with the beautiful girl next door and yet be ashamed to admit your friend Jason doesn't talk and is in a wheelchair? How do you make your father understand that you matter, too? How do you tell your mother that even though David needs his own words, Frog and Toad is a special communication between a brother and sister that love each other? RULES isn't just a book about autism, but rather a look into the complexities of a family relationship. An excellent read for anyone who has ever had to deal with someone who is just a little bit different than everyone else.
6 reviews1 follower
July 4, 2018
This book is highly offensive to anyone with a disability or any sort of neurodivergence, but especially autistic people. I do not recommend. It is ableist, misrepresentative, and frankly disheartening.
Profile Image for Mike Mullin.
Author 14 books1,662 followers
December 18, 2010
So, I've owned this book for more than a year but never gotten around to reading it. When I saw it had been challenged, I figured I'd read it to try to understand why.

Here's why RULES got challenged: some people are effing crazy. This is a beautifully written, touching story about a family that happens to include an autistic kid. Catherine, the 12-year-old protagonist, is portrayed realistically, with a pitch-perfect kid's voice. She grows through the story, coming to better accept the differences in the people around her. The parents are loving but flawed in realistic ways.

Every school library should have a copy of RULES and encourage kids to read it. It would be tragic if a misguided challenge anywhere limited kids' access to this inclusive, uplifting novel.
31 reviews5 followers
August 8, 2008
"Rules", by Cynthia Lord, is told from the perspective of Catherine, the 12-year-old sister of David, an autistic 8-year-old. Catherine, at 12, is dealing with finding a place in a family that seems to be centered around coping with David's needs for comfort and development. Catherine's mom is divided between managing a home business (leaving Catherine to care for David) and providing David the care and developmental therapy he needs. Catherine's dad seems to be mostly coping with his own difficulty with accepting the parenting cards he's been dealt and possibly with his own austistic-like tendencies. Neither parent, though they both clearly love Catherine, appears to have the emotional resources to cope with any of Catherine's issues. In a sense, she is expected not to have any and to participate in a semi-adult capacity in therapeutic care for David. Meanwhile, Catherine is confronting her own, normal, 12-year-old girl issues--how far should she go against her own needs and wishes to go along with her friends, who should her friends be, how to cope with mean kids, what to do with her summer when her best friend is away.

What I really like about this novel is that the characters are allowed to be complex. Though Catherine's parents are, in a way, neglectful of her needs, they aren't portrayed as bad parents so much as people coping as well as they can with a difficult situation and making some mistakes in doing so. For example, there are a number of times in the novel where David is waiting for his father to come home from work and take him on an outing. David expects his father at five and becomes very distressed when he isn't home by five. Catherine notes that while she can understand that her father is characteristically late, David can't. Reading this, I couldn't help but wonder, though Catherine didn't, wouldn't one think her father could be expected to control his tendency to be late in this instance rather than repeatedly distress his son and force his daughter to cope with this distress on a regular basis? Why is it that Catherine can understand how difficult it is for David to cope with his father's lateness, but her father can't? Another good example is in Catherine's new neighbor, Kristie, a girl Catherine would like to be friends with, but whom she immediately senses will be much `cooler' than she is. Kristie, it turns out, isn't a mean girl, and it's clear she's dealing with her own issues, but she probably isn't going to be real friend material for Catherine. I also liked Catherine's relationship with Jason, a wheel-chair bound boy about her own age. She is attracted to him, but isn't sure she wants to take on more relationships complicated by disability. Jason, though unable to communicate without the use of written cards and symbols, manages to be a pretty real adolescent. He isn't perfect- he sulks and can be manipulative. Still, the reader can see why Catherine might find him compelling.

If there is anything that seems unrealistic about the book, it is that Catherine is, maybe, too understanding. She pretty much accepts that her parents aren't able to be there for her emotionally as much as she might like them to be and is, for the most part, willing to accept what they can offer. She accepts her disappointment that new neighbor is probably not going to be a good fit for her as a friend without hating her. She is able to accept that a friendship with Jason is going to be complicated. Most of all, she loves her brother with all of his limitations, while understanding that if she could turn him into a "normal" boy, she would.

"Rules" is actually a pretty upbeat book. In general, Catherine seems secure and confident in her ability to handle problems. Although she is coping with a number of issues, she clearly loves her family, has friends she cares about, and interests and talents outside the scope of caring for/worrying about her brother and is absolutely free of self-pity. This would probably be a great book for young adolescents coping with family issues. I highly recommend it.

(This review is also posted at Amazon.)
Profile Image for Karina.
937 reviews
February 17, 2022
"I study the hair on the top of his head. How can his outside look so normal and his inside be so broken? Like an apple, red perfect on the outside, but mushy brown at the first bite." (PG. 110)

Newbery Honor Book--2006

So I am scanning the kid's section at the library for Newbery Award winners or Honorees and I come across this title and 'Al Capone Does My Shirts'... And what do they have in common besides having honors? The main characters both have an autistic sibling and both of the main characters are frustrated teenagers.

With this similarity out of the way.... This was an easy kid's book to read (10+) and very quick to get through. While I am not the target audience I feel like I wouldn't make my son read this. Catherine, the twelve-year-old, was just so mean to her brother, David, who was autistic and couldn't control her need to control everything he did. I put myself in her place and I found that I could probably relate to her emotions at that age. The only reason why she annoyed me was that she went out of her way to make friends with a paraplegic boy when she couldn't be bothered by her brother. But maybe that was why she was so nice to Jason, the paraplegic?

I wish David was a more known presence in the book rather than the annoying brother. I think we all know someone with autism spectrum at this point and there are really high functioning and low functioning disorders. Maybe the book was just an intro to the disorder rather than a learning tool.

I grew up with a mute/hard of hearing (he says I can longer say deaf) brother. I was always annoyed at him because I could tell he was my parents' favorite and could do no wrong and get whatever he wanted. Now he is my best friend and one of the nicest human beings I have ever known. He is funny and kind and knows how to dance a good salsa. We can make fun of one another and still be friends. Now I understand I had childish emotions and as a parent we worry more about the "sick" child and what's going to happen to them when we die vs the child who can manage and will lead a normal life. (Also not fair to the "normal" child)

Overall, decent book.
Profile Image for Jim.
66 reviews21 followers
April 17, 2016
Rules, by author Cynthia Lord, is a touching look at the life of a young girl, Catherine, who's coping with the conflicting emotions of living with her autistic brother, David. And I was coping with the conflicting emotions of annoyance and boredom of reading this book.

Catherine, a normal 12 year old girl, has a huge role and responsibility in the care-taking of her autistic brother, David. Catherine must balance the love and the responsibility she feels for David with the embarrassment and resentment that comes along with having a family member with autism. To help David, Catherine has written a set of 'rules' that he must follow in order to help him keep his anxiety under control, and to keep him in check in social situations. At one of David's therapy sessions Catherine meets a non-speaking boy in a wheelchair named Jason, and takes a sympathetic liking to him. She helps Jason build a vocabulary of index cards with words that he can point to and help him express his thoughts. But when Jason asks Catherine to a summer dance she is torn between showing him friendship, or embarrassing herself in front of her new friend, Kris. Catherine is faced with a moral decision between what type of person she wants to be. And honestly, I didn't care much by the end of the story.

Rules has some great and touching moments and does a pretty good job at showing the conflict siblings must feel having a family member with a disability. At first the story took on the feel of an overly-dramatic teenage brat who wanted everyone to feel sorry for her. But as I kept reading I decided it was an honest look at what people actually go through. But Lord's annoying style of writing in 1st person present tense and her propensity of inventing not-so-clever-overly-hyphenated-but-extremely-distracting adjectives really got on my nerves. I think this book has merit, but it is going to be put on my almost-good-but-somehow-manages-to-bore-the-crap-out-of-me shelf.

Profile Image for ✧ hayley (the sugar bowl) ✧.
344 reviews60 followers
April 7, 2024
3 ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚

this book was…interesting.

like, i enjoyed it and it was easy and i read it in a few hours but also i hated the main character and her attitude towards her brother and like she developed a little but still.

the romance-type-thing was super cute though


୧ ‧₊˚ 🍓 ⋅ ☆
Profile Image for Moe.
354 reviews15 followers
April 9, 2012
I love when teachers make you read books that you can't choose to read. I guess that its good for kids who don't read at all. But hate to break it to you, this book...

Sucked.

If they're trying to get kids to read, you just made it sure they won't read another word except "pizza" or "video games".I can not believe I am wasting my precious time on this book. Go and read it. See what I mean. Out of all the fabulous books like Harry Potter or Hunger Games they had to pick a book about a girl who can't stand her autistic little brother. Big deal. What about action-packed books about wizards fighting dark sorceries? Or corrupt dictators putting 24 tributes in the wilderness and only "one" can come out? We learn from those books, not from ones that talk about a girl that likes drawing with her stupid colored pencils when her brother is at the clinic. The only thing I got from this horrible, pointless rusty tin can of a book is that public education is...
going...
downhill.


Profile Image for Cyn .
129 reviews44 followers
April 6, 2018
4.5* rounded up

It's difficult having a brother with autism, and sometimes 12-year-old Catherine wants out.

Oops I did it again
I let books mess with my heart
Got lost in the game
Oh baby baby


I love the characters in this story!
Profile Image for TheAngerDog.
1 review
May 29, 2019
Honestly, I didn't like this book that much.

Now, I read this years ago so my memory is pretty spotty. Partially because I didn't care that much for this book.

I read it for summer reading and it was tolerable enough to sit through, not like the Underneath where I had to drop the book because I just couldn't stand it.

However, it kind of left a bad taste in my mouth.

Firstly, the autistic brother, David, was really, really pushed to the side. He is shown as nothing but an embarrassment and annoyance to Catherine, which I'm sure sends some lovely messages to autistic readers :)

I always hated it when media is like "Oh, a character has a disability or mental disorder? Let's portray the struggles the family goes through! Nevermind the struggle THE CHARACTER WHO ACTUALLY HAS THE DAMN DISORDER goes through!" I felt that the book Wonder did this very well because it switched point of views. For the most part, we get Auggie's struggle of being deformed. But we also get some insight into his sister Via, who adores him but wishes that her family would pay attention to her too, which is why she had such a connection with her late grandmother because she gave her love that she lacked her whole life. However, we never hear about David's own personal struggles. He's portrayed as nothing but an annoyance, which I'm sure sends some great messages to people with autism. I get that having a brother like David could be a struggle for a family, but I feel like David's own feelings and struggles were being completely omitted.

There's no resolution to this book either. Catherine doesn't really learn to accept and love her brother. David isn't shown getting any better. She doesn't try to be more understanding to her brother. We don't really get a good conclusion.

I would NOT give this book to someone with autism. If anything, it'll insult them. I doubt that kids with autism would actually be able to relate to David. And like I said, he's portrayed as an embarrassment and annoyance, and I don't think kids with autism are going to leave feeling very inspired. If anything, this would make them actually FEEL like an annoyance and embarrassment, and even more so if they already feel like that.

However, I really did like the relationship between Jason and Catherine. That genuinely was a nice friendship. I like how they even had a possible love interest in each other, considering Jason tries to tell her that she looks pretty and they dance at the end. However, other than that I didn't really like this book very much. It kind of left a bad taste.
Profile Image for Moira.
Author 43 books17 followers
January 19, 2008
Well, this was a nice book - a story about a girl trying to come to grips with her autistic brother (and her parents who do everything for him and nothing for her) and her friendship with a boy with cerebral palsy. It kept my interest. But it seemed artifical - I mean, she is driven crazy by the brother, but she chooses to befriend the boy who is even more challenged? And the voice is that of a girl MUCH younger than the main character is supposed to be. Further, nothing is all that resolved, except that she is able to admit she is friends with this boy. A little lame, really, especially as there isn't any real resolution of the other problems. And Lord never paints a picture of the brother to make makes me think of him as anything other than an annoyance. I can't help but think of works-in-progress by two author friends that deal with similarly limited kids, but that have so much heart that you can't help but fall in love with the characters - something Lord doesn't come close to accomplishing. A Newbery honor? Hmmmmm - perhaps because it was a novel concept.
Profile Image for Julie.
91 reviews1 follower
May 27, 2021
I wish I hadn't read this book. Because it's the same as every other book featuring a child with autism. It's told from the point of view of their sibling-who sees them as a burden-and can't have a normal life because their sibling is just so annoying. We really feel sympathy for the autistic child, we only are supposed to feel for the main character, and their burdens. I'm sitting over here, as an autistic person, knowing I am not a burden. I'm not supposed to be. And it's horrible to think that we are, in some way, a burden.
Don't read this, it's an ableist piece of crap. I'd recommend Lady Midnight (The Dark Artifices) with an amazing autistic character (Ty Blackthorn, who's also supposed to be one of the MCs in The Wicked Powers) but that's clearly too old for the audience this book is intended for. I wish there were better books out there, but alas!
2 reviews
October 6, 2016
Ashley Cook
McLaughlin
Women’s Lit Honors
September 28, 2016

As if trying to figure out who you are is not hard enough at the age of twelve, main character Catherine, is trying to create who her brother is. Protagonist of “Rules” by Cynthia Lord, struggles with anxiety and the fear of what others may think about her because of her autistic brother, David. As a way to shield the realities behind this struggle, Catherine creates rules for her brother to memorize and follow. The authors purpose is to inform readers about the actuality of the living with a disability or living with someone that has a disability. There are valid and key points throughout the story that connect to the third wave of feminism. Although this book is not solely about feminism it does support many concepts of it.

Lord does a phenomenal job at creating a simplistic, yet meaningful story. The story line is like no other, Lord links her ideas of feminism to special needs. Equality between genders is not the main focus of this novel, but equality between people with disabilities and people without is. Catherine feels as if it is her duty to make sure her brother is looked at no differently than anyone else. This mindset forces her to take on the responsibility of David. She feels as if her parents do not do a good enough job at protecting her family's reputation. Catherine spends a lot of her time planning and stressing over how to make David a more regular person, where he will fit into the general public better and be accepted by the community. It is heart wrenching when Catherine says “Sometimes people don't answer you because they didn't hear you. Other times it's because they don't want to hear you.” (124), because this shows the struggles people with disabilities face with on a daily basis relating to acceptance.

It is upsetting to think about the fact that not everyone is accepted for who they are. It is especially upsetting to think about David's own sister wishing him as a different person. This becomes emotionally evident when Catherine says “Sometimes I wish someone would invent a pill so David’d wake up one morning without autism” (8). This is very eye-opening about some of the issues in today's society. Lord presents the issues in affective ways by adding characters in an unconventional manner. By adding characters in a whole new way, Lord is able to add types of characters that are not usually popular within our cultural views of literature.

The layout and style in which this story is written is important in means of understanding each abstract idea from the main character better. Some may argue that the reader is not given enough informational incite about how the other characters are feeling, but the author's intentions are strictly to show Catherine's point of view. It may just be a coincidence that Lord decided to add “Leaving out isn't the same as lying” (81), or it may be referring to her thoughts on her formatting techniques. No matter why it is included, it is still included and that proves a reasonable point and reinforces Lord’s method.

Overall, this book is for everyone to read. It may be written at a seemingly younger level, but the meaning behind the story is intense in value. This story gives insight to what our standards should be in terms of morals and ethics. The narrative may not necessarily be a feminist piece, but it does embrace concepts of feminism like equality. It is crucial for a better social environment to help assist/maintain spreading this information encouraged by Cynthia Lord.
September 29, 2016
Victoria Croteau
28 September 2016
B3
Although the assignment due was to write a feminist book review, the book I read had really nothing to do with feminism at all. In Rules by Cynthia Lord, the main focus is on the main character, Catherine, and how she gets through simple day to day tasks with her autistic brother, David, by her side. In the beginning, Catherine explains how her brother does not understand a lot of things that may come naturally to most. For example, David’s father always tells him that he will be home by five, David takes this quite literally. When his father does not show up exactly on time, he begins to cry and throw a tantrum. Catherine has to explain to her brother, “Late doesn’t mean not coming”(Lord, 39). Throughout the book, Catherine is teaching her brother new rules and reminding him of old ones. When a new neighbor and potential friend, Kristi, moves in next door Catherine becomes even more consistent with making sure the rules are followed, hoping that her brother will not embarrass her. David goes to therapy once a week and while waiting for him she meets a new friend, Jason, and they soon become very close. Jason cannot speak and uses cards to communicate with people. Since Catherine is good at art, Jason’s mother asks her to make and decorate him some new cards. Jason shows his appreciation for the cards by saying, “Thank you. Catherine. New. Words”(Lord, 74). With David, Jason, and even Kristi getting more close to her, she learns many lessons from them and becomes a little more comfortable with the thought of autism and its effects.
I really enjoyed this book overall, especially since I have an autistic brother so I could definitely relate to Catherine at some points. Other times I kind of felt as if she overreacted to the situation. Taking into consideration that I also have an autistic brother, I kept thinking about what I would have done differently if it were me with my brother. For example, when Catherine went over to invite the new neighbors to a barbecue and David shrieked when he saw a bee, she quickly said to the neighbor, “Oh, look at the time, sorry, gotta go”(Lord, 63). Even at the age of 12, I still knew how to react to a situation like this, especially growing up where little things like that happened all the time. The story more captured how a person would react if they had just met the autistic person, but Catherine had known her brother almost her entire life. Maybe this would have been different if Catherine was a boy because boys seem to have that more “carefree” attitude when it comes to stuff like that. With all that being said, I still believe that the book had a good representation of autism as a whole and had some pretty good scenarios in it. I would recommend reading this book if you would like to learn more about autism or even just as a fun, quick read.
Profile Image for Amber J (Thereadingwitch).
1,014 reviews71 followers
November 23, 2019
“When someone is upset, it’s not a good time to bring up your own problems.”
― Cynthia Lord, Rules


I try to express only my most honest opinion in a spoiler free way. If you feel anything in my review is a spoiler and is not already hidden in spoiler brackets please let me know. Thank you.

This is a book about a girl named Catherine, who's brother is autistic. She wants to live a normal life and make friends with the girl who just moved in next door. She ends up also making friends with Jason. He is confined to a wheel chair and cannot talk, but used a book and word cards to communicate with others. She faces a lot of the same issues I would think that most girls would face in her situation.


This book was surprisingly good. I choose it because I was looking for a book with a fish on the cover. I listened to the audio version and the narrator I thought did a spectacular job. I liked this book so much in fact that I bought a copy and I am going to give it to my 12 year old neice who also loves to read. I think this story has a great message for everyone. Not just those with loved ones with similar problems, or just for children, but soooo many people need to hear this I think. If you refer back to my quote that I used. I think that also holds a message that many need to hear.


How I choose my rating:
1* Did not finish, or hated it but forced myself to finish.
2** Didn't really like it. Didn't hate it but not sure why I finished it other then for some closure.
3*** I liked it. I had some issues with it, but as a whole it was good. I probably won't reread again ever, but there is a chance I might finish the series. (If part of one) But if not it's not a huge loss.
4**** I really liked this book. Maybe not a work of genius, but highly entertaining. I might reread this again, and I will finish the series. (If part of one) I would recommend to those I know hold interest in this books content.
5***** I loved this book. I found little to no issues with it at all. I will definitely be rereading this and probably more than once. I will finish the series and reread it multiple times. (If part of one) I will recommend this book to EVERYONE!!!!

1 review1 follower
September 29, 2016
Ashley Cook
McLaughlin
Women’s Lit Honors
September 28, 2016

As if trying to figure out who you are is not hard enough at the age of twelve, main character Catherine, is trying to create who her brother is. Protagonist of “Rules” by Cynthia Lord, struggles with anxiety and the fear of what others may think about her because of her autistic brother, David. As a way to shield the realities behind this struggle, Catherine creates rules for her brother to memorize and follow. The authors purpose is to inform readers about the actuality of the living with a disability or living with someone that has a disability. There are valid and key points throughout the story that connect to the third wave of feminism. Although this book is not solely about feminism it does support many concepts of it.
Lord does a phenomenal job at creating a simplistic, yet meaningful story. The story line is like no other, Lord links her ideas of feminism to special needs. Equality between genders is not the main focus of this novel, but equality between people with disabilities and people without is. Catherine feels as if it is her duty to make sure her brother is looked at no differently than anyone else. This mindset forces her to take on the responsibility of David. She feels as if her parents do not do a good enough job at protecting her family's reputation. Catherine spends a lot of her time planning and stressing over how to make David a more regular person, where he will fit into the general public better and be accepted by the community. It is heart wrenching when Catherine says “Sometimes people don't answer you because they didn't hear you. Other times it's because they don't want to hear you.” (124), because this shows the struggles people with disabilities face with on a daily basis relating to acceptance.
It is upsetting to think about the fact that not everyone is accepted for who they are. It is especially upsetting to think about David's own sister wishing him as a different person. This becomes emotionally evident when Catherine says “Sometimes I wish someone would invent a pill so David’d wake up one morning without autism” (8). This is very eye-opening about some of the issues in today's society. Lord presents the issues in affective ways by adding characters in an unconventional manner. By adding characters in a whole new way, Lord is able to add types of characters that are not usually popular within our cultural views of literature.
The layout and style in which this story is written is important in means of understanding each abstract idea from the main character better. Some may argue that the reader is not given enough informational incite about how the other characters are feeling, but the author's intentions are strictly to show Catherine's point of view. It may just be a coincidence that Lord decided to add “Leaving out isn't the same as lying” (81), or it may be referring to her thoughts on her formatting techniques. No matter why it is included, it is still included and that proves a reasonable point and reinforces Lord’s method.
Overall, this book is for everyone to read. It may be written at a seemingly younger level, but the meaning behind the story is intense in value. This story gives insight to what our standards should be in terms of morals and ethics. The narrative may not necessarily be a feminist piece, but it does embrace concepts of feminism like equality. It is crucial for a better social environment to help assist/maintain spreading this information encouraged by Cynthia Lord.
Profile Image for Shelley.
2,407 reviews160 followers
January 30, 2008
Lord may know about autism from a mother's pov, but she does not from a sibling's. Trust me, we're talking vast differences. Further, her scenes with augmentative and alternative communication were horrible. She clearly did no research at all, or else this boy would received an appropriate dynamic display device. The single realistic thing I found in this novel was the flighty blonde bimbo speech therapist.

Such is the opinion of this former speech therapist, a ten year veteran leader of workshops for kids who have a sibling with special needs, who has a younger brother with significant special needs that uses a communication device.
Profile Image for Kate.
Author 91 books1,549 followers
August 21, 2007
I just finished reading RULES for the second time, and I loved the characters even more this time around. This is a funny, touching book about a girl coming to terms with her brother's disability and what it means to their family life. It's a fantastic book for the classroom, with lots of opportunities for extension activities and discussion (and in the September Scholastic Book Order for $3.95).
Profile Image for Adriana.
975 reviews84 followers
April 10, 2019
Catherine's little brother is autistic. She has to have rules for him since he doesn't act like he's supposed to. Rules like Pantless brothers are not my problem or No toys in the fish tank hence the cover. As you can see there is a rubber ducky in the fish tank. There are other things that get in there because of David and Catherine makes up what they are saying there. Catherine has Rules of her own too. She has to constantly make sure her brother doesn't embarrass himself well more like her. She sometimes wishes he was normal and that he could stick up for her.

See there is this boy named Ryan who likes to tease David and David doesn't know that he's making fun of him. I don't know how his mother doesn't know he is like that but whatever. Kristi is her new next door neighbor. She so badly wants her to be her best friend and play at the pond or use Morse code with flashlights. She discovers that she isn't the ideal friend especially since she likes to hang out with Ryan but she does show some morals I guess you'd say. She teaches something to Catherine that you wouldn't have expected from her.

On to JASON. I HEART JASON! He is so sweet. She meets him at OT which is therapy. Physically not emotionally. Jason is in a wheel chair and only can communicate with flash card type things. He has some real boring ones so she asks if she could make ones for him or it might have been the other way around I can't remember. Anyways Jason is the sweetest guy. I knew that he was crushing on her and if SHE BROKE HIS HEART SO HELP ME...!!! Sorry. She learns some things about herself and the way she feels about David from him as well as Kristi. It was a fantastic book and you should definitely go out now and read it! You'll love it! (:
http://shesgotbooksonhermind.blogspot...
Profile Image for triedpklove.
16 reviews
September 2, 2021
The worst book I’ve ever read. Written for allistic people and honestly any abled people in general exclusively. (See how all the negative reviews seem to be the only autistic people speaking up?) It’s main character has a victim complex due to her brother’s autism and the story frames her as in the right. This book is written for the type of “autism super moms” that go on Facebook and cry about how lavender oil takes too long to cure their kids autism. Not only that, but framing Jason as this disabled person who’s miserable because of his disability fuels the ableist belief that all disabled people are miserable and want to be cured. Don’t read this if you care about any autistic person in your life. Literally do anything but read this. I wish I could give it a 0/5.
Profile Image for Ben.
101 reviews
February 6, 2017
I really liked this book. I like how in all of Cynthia Lord's books, there is a saying before every chapter.
I liked how the main character had a brother with autism because I had never really read a book like that before. I recommend this book to anyone who likes realistic fiction or just a good, quick and funny read.
Profile Image for Natalie.
3,017 reviews168 followers
December 30, 2023
Review #4 - December 2024
Rereading to see if I wanted to use it for the 3-5 book club. I don't think we'll use it this semester, but it's on the list for a future book club!

I love how sweet this story is. It has so many great messages in it. The part at the end, with Jason and Catherine, always makes my heart happy.


Review #3 - June 2019
Listened the audio this time around and really enjoyed it. I know I previously stated I wouldn't read it aloud again, but now that I have the audio I'm planning on doing it for the upcoming school year. It's got a lot of good themes for fifth grade. Friendship, acceptance, disabilities, family...I love Jason and Catherine. I felt like their reactions were very normal for children. Catherine's voice is realistic and likable. I love the part where Jason

Highly recommended!


Review #2 October 26, 2016
I was already planning on reading this out loud to the 5th graders so I was extra thrilled to see that it was also one of out Battle of Books reads.

I still really enjoyed it. Catherine's struggles really touch me. All of the characters feel very real to me. Like, I could picture all of these things actually happening and people acting just the way they did in the story.

I think this story teaches that none of us are perfect and that we all just keep trying to do the best we can. We make mistakes and we get frustrated but we can keep trying.

Sweet story. I probably won't read it out loud again, but it was fun for this year.


Review #1 December 5, 2011
This is a book about a 12 year old girl, Catherine, who has a brother with autism. She writes about what it feels like to deal with him. To help him understand life she has "rules" that she makes for him. Rules, how not to take your pants off, and that toys don't go in the aquarium. She is torn between loving her brother and being frustrated with him. At the office where her brother goes for therapy, she meets a boy named Jason. Jason is in a wheelchair and can only communicate through picture cards. Catherine befriends Jason and starts to learn what is really important in life. Very, sweet, touching story. It speaks the truth and hits close to home.
Profile Image for Karen.
Author 25 books693 followers
February 5, 2009
I finally got my hands on RULES by Cynthia Lord, and I read it in one sitting. The narrator, Catherine, genuinely seems twelve. Her mannerisms and thoughts ring true, especially her artistic view on life and her lists of rules to help both herself and her autistic brother David. Catherine has more than shallow run-of-the-mill problems to deal with, and yet she's easy to identify with. In less capable hands, the story could have come across saccharine or depressing. Lord pulls it off in a way that seems effortless. She does a great job with pacing as well. From the premise of the book, I expected it to be a slower read, but the story strides along confidently.

I loved Catherine's blossoming relationship with wheelchair-bound Jason, who can't speak, beautifully shown in the vocabulary cards she makes him. At the start he has only a standard, bland set of cards. She's the first person to recognize his need to express himself through joking, sarcasm, and teen slang. I laughed when Jason's mother said, "Don't 'whatever' me, young man!" and felt a bit of shared triumph. As Catherine helps Jason communicate, she in turn reveals her own hidden thoughts and emotions. I even became a bit misty-eyed when I read the end, a rare occurrence. Catherine's life and the people in it are neither predictable nor perfect, but her compassion remains constant, and that's the beauty of this book.
Profile Image for AnnaBnana.
518 reviews11 followers
November 17, 2008
I thought this book was really incredible. I read it in one sitting. I was glad that Lord didn't shy away Catherine's difficult and conflicted feeling about having an autistic brother. I thought the relationship she built between Catherine and Jason was natural and touching.

I think Catherine is also a really relate-able character on a more general level. I haven't experienced any of what went on in Catherine's family life, but her propensity for daydreaming and getting her hopes up about a friend who might not be as friendly as she imagined was spot on.

On a separate note, I really enjoyed the way the book was structured, with each chapter branching off of a different one of the rules from Catherine's list.
Profile Image for Shayne Bauer.
205 reviews6 followers
June 1, 2017
This is a really heartfelt story that helps readers understand the strain that autism puts on an entire family. I enjoyed the array of characters and how they deal with the disability. There are those who are understanding, frustrated, confused, sympathetic, and downright mean--which is so authentic!

I attended Cynthia Lord's author session at the Dublin Literacy Conference this year where she spoke about writing this book. It went through twelve revisions! I was anxious to read the book, as it was inspired by her daughter (who wanted to read a book about a family like theirs).

Although unique in content, it is a pretty typical middle school read that builds to a sweet and satisfying crescendo. I would recommend it to anyone who is looking to understand autism a bit better.
Profile Image for Luisa Knight.
2,925 reviews1,024 followers
November 8, 2022
Ages: 9 - 13

Cleanliness:

Children's Bad Words
Mild Obscenities & Substitutions - 8 Incidents: stupid, darn, “This stinks a big one!” - used throughout entire book.
Name Calling - 9 Incidents: Idiot, stupid, retard, fatso, hairball, jerk, dork
Religious Profanities - 3 Incidents: Jeez, for goodness' sakes

Religious & Supernatural - 1 Incident: Girls tell each other a story, one of them has magic.

Romance Related - 11 Incidents: A girl friends a boy in a wheelchair that goes for speech/physical therapy at the same place as her brother. Another friend of hers incorrectly assumes she has a secret boyfriend. Later in the book, you discover that the boy in the wheelchair has a crush on her. The girl struggles with this and what other people will think, but you never know if she “likes” him back or just chooses to be a good friend. A girl thinks about makeup and another girl discusses a cute boy - not detailed. They talk about boyfriends. A friend talks about her parents separation: “I wish Mom wouldn’t give up so easy. It’s not like he had an affair.” A boy tells a girl she’s pretty.
A girl goes into a boy’s bedroom - he only shows her his instruments. A boy and girl get in a fight when he asks her to dance. She’s embarrassed by him. A boy puts his hand on a girl’s arm. A boy pulls a girl’s arm. It is mentioned a few times throughout the book that the autistic brother has purposely dropped his pants before - nothing - is detailed or described. A girl wears a bikini and one wishes that she wore hers but the top often slips when she dives. “It’s never shown anything but …” A girl dances: “She shimmies her body, elbows bent, her hair swinging.”

Attitudes/Disobedience - 15 Incidents: The main character in this story generally has a cynical outlook on people and life, and almost always has a harsh/sour attitude towards her parents (this never changes). She often yells at, blames, and is bitter towards them. Most of the book she is unloving /impatient with her autistic brother, but the last scene in the book is one of more acceptance and love.Her attitudes are such a part of the book that only a few examples will be given.
Relationship with brother example: “And the best part, David won’t have to come.” A girl wishes she had a normal brother - one she could fight with. A girl is disobedient by disregarding her mom’s wishes. A girl thinks that if she were someone’s daughter, she’d tell that parent: “Get out of my face!” and “Go away!” and “This stinks a big one!” A girl got in a fight, trying to stick up for her brother. The mother is portrayed as dumb and unknowing. She yells at her daughter who is right. Relationship with brother example: “but the bad part is David has to come wherever we go, and sometimes I have to babysit while she meets with clients or makes phone calls.” A girl thinks of some bad words she can say but chooses other words instead. A girl yells at her mom. Relationship with brother parent example: “I grit my teeth to keep from snapping, ‘If David wanted them, you’d buy them.’ But there’s no point, because I already know her answer: ‘That’s different.’ She’s right. It is different and here’s now: Everyone expects a tiny bit from him and a huge lot from me.” A girl lies to her dad. A girl lies to her parents. A girl tells a friend what she can do to annoy his mom. A boy and girl smile at the thought of “curse words.”

Conversation Topics - 6 Incidents: One friend has parents that are divorced and one friend has parents that are separated. The book Harry Potter is referenced a few times in the book. Yoga and dancing are mentioned in the book. The girl goes to a dance at the end of the story. Parents argue.
Mentions Halloween. A boy sometimes wishes he can just die.

Parent Takeaway
The main character in this story generally has a cynical outlook on people and life, and almost always has a harsh/sour attitude towards her parents (this never changes). She often yells at, blames, and is bitter towards them. Most of the book she is unloving /impatient with her autistic brother, but the last scene in the book is one of more acceptance and love.Her attitudes are such a part of the book that this might be a good read only for discussion on what it's like having an autistic sibling and what she could have done to handle it and her relationships better.

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