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I'm Sorry for My Loss: An Urgent Examination of Reproductive Care in America
A must-read investigation of reproductive health under fire in Post-Roe America.
More than a million women lose a pregnancy each year, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or termination for medical reasons. For most, the experience often casts a shadow of isolation, shame, and blame. In the aftermath of the 2022 decision to overturn Roe v Wade, 25 million women of childbearing age live in states with laws that restrict access to abortion, including for those who never wanted to end their pregnancies. How did we get here?
Rebecca Little and Colleen Long, childhood friends who grew up to be journalists, both experienced late-term loss, and together they take an incisive, deeply reported look at the issue, working to shatter taboos that have made so many pregnant women feel ashamed and alone. They trace the experience of pregnancy loss and reproductive care from America's founding to the present day, exposing the deep impact made by a dangerous tangle of laws, politics, medicine, racism, and misogyny. Combining powerful personal narratives with exhaustive research, I'm Sorry for My Loss is a comprehensive examination on how pregnancy loss came to be so stigmatized and politicized, and why a system of more compassionate care is critical for everyone.
More than a million women lose a pregnancy each year, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or termination for medical reasons. For most, the experience often casts a shadow of isolation, shame, and blame. In the aftermath of the 2022 decision to overturn Roe v Wade, 25 million women of childbearing age live in states with laws that restrict access to abortion, including for those who never wanted to end their pregnancies. How did we get here?
Rebecca Little and Colleen Long, childhood friends who grew up to be journalists, both experienced late-term loss, and together they take an incisive, deeply reported look at the issue, working to shatter taboos that have made so many pregnant women feel ashamed and alone. They trace the experience of pregnancy loss and reproductive care from America's founding to the present day, exposing the deep impact made by a dangerous tangle of laws, politics, medicine, racism, and misogyny. Combining powerful personal narratives with exhaustive research, I'm Sorry for My Loss is a comprehensive examination on how pregnancy loss came to be so stigmatized and politicized, and why a system of more compassionate care is critical for everyone.
496 pages, Hardcover
Expected publication September 24, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
July 15, 2024
Rebecca Little and Colleen Long have written a powerful, memorable, must-read book about pregnancy loss in I'm Sorry for My Loss: An Urgent Examination of Reproductive Care in America. One-third to one-half of women experience a pregnancy loss due to miscarriage, stillbirths, or terminations for medical reasons. Yet it's something that is rarely talked about and in our post-Roe era, the impact and unintended consequences are tragic.
Hospitals and doctors, particularly in states with restrictive abortion legislation, are afraid to treat women who are experiencing serious pregnancy complications or situations where there are fetal anomalies. The result is that some women who decide to terminate a wanted pregnancy due to fetal anomalies or because the baby has died in their womb are sent to abortion clinics and must walk the gantlet of protestors in order to receive care.
Very few doctors provide information when a woman is pregnant about the possibilities or symptoms that something could go wrong. Annually, one million women experience a pregnancy loss. There are incredibly horrible stories in the book, particularly for Black women, about doctors who don't listen to their patients' concerns about their pregnancies....unfortunately the outcome can be very dangerous or deadly.
The statistics that are provided in this book include:
* One in four women have gotten an abortion
* A research study in 1953 showed that 24% of married women had an illegal abortion and 9 out of 10 teen pregnancies resulted in an abortion
* The current infant mortality rate in the US is 33rd out of 38 developed countries
* The current US maternal deaths is 32.9 per 100,000. The next closest country is the UK at 10.7 deaths per 100,000. Black women in the US who experience maternal deaths is 69.9 per 100,000. Maternal death rates are an indication on how we view women's health.
* 69% of Americans believe abortion should be legal for the first trimester
* Pregnancies are more fatal than abortions when abortions are legal
* Maternal mortality rates are the highest in states with the most restrictive abortion laws. Idah0 has stopped tracking maternal mortality rates; it is one of the most restrictive states for abortion.
* 60% of the women in The Turnaway Study were already mothers. It is a myth that abortion is used as a form of birth control. Many mothers want to limit the number of children due to financial concerns.
* Stillborn rates are still the same as 15 years ago.
One of the scariest parts of the book was that doctors who are worried about stringent abortion laws and "bounties" for those who turn in doctors and patients for having an abortion have started performing hysterectomies on women who come to them for an abortion. YIKES. WTH!
Troubling, insightful, and memorable book that should be read by women and men.
Thanks to NetGalley for a free ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Hospitals and doctors, particularly in states with restrictive abortion legislation, are afraid to treat women who are experiencing serious pregnancy complications or situations where there are fetal anomalies. The result is that some women who decide to terminate a wanted pregnancy due to fetal anomalies or because the baby has died in their womb are sent to abortion clinics and must walk the gantlet of protestors in order to receive care.
Very few doctors provide information when a woman is pregnant about the possibilities or symptoms that something could go wrong. Annually, one million women experience a pregnancy loss. There are incredibly horrible stories in the book, particularly for Black women, about doctors who don't listen to their patients' concerns about their pregnancies....unfortunately the outcome can be very dangerous or deadly.
The statistics that are provided in this book include:
* One in four women have gotten an abortion
* A research study in 1953 showed that 24% of married women had an illegal abortion and 9 out of 10 teen pregnancies resulted in an abortion
* The current infant mortality rate in the US is 33rd out of 38 developed countries
* The current US maternal deaths is 32.9 per 100,000. The next closest country is the UK at 10.7 deaths per 100,000. Black women in the US who experience maternal deaths is 69.9 per 100,000. Maternal death rates are an indication on how we view women's health.
* 69% of Americans believe abortion should be legal for the first trimester
* Pregnancies are more fatal than abortions when abortions are legal
* Maternal mortality rates are the highest in states with the most restrictive abortion laws. Idah0 has stopped tracking maternal mortality rates; it is one of the most restrictive states for abortion.
* 60% of the women in The Turnaway Study were already mothers. It is a myth that abortion is used as a form of birth control. Many mothers want to limit the number of children due to financial concerns.
* Stillborn rates are still the same as 15 years ago.
One of the scariest parts of the book was that doctors who are worried about stringent abortion laws and "bounties" for those who turn in doctors and patients for having an abortion have started performing hysterectomies on women who come to them for an abortion. YIKES. WTH!
Troubling, insightful, and memorable book that should be read by women and men.
Thanks to NetGalley for a free ARC in exchange for my honest review.
June 4, 2024
This is a deeply important book that sheds light on an aspect of reproductive justice that has received relatively little attention: the loss of wanted pregnancies. With humour and sensitivity, the authors explore how Americans have historically viewed miscarriages and the wrong footed ways in which society responds to them. It also sheds light on the very thin line between miscarriage and abortion (for instance, the deliberate early induction of a terminally ill fetus is not easily categorized) and the harmful impact that rigid abortion laws have on miscarriage care. I loved that the authors included the experiences of women of colour and nonbinary and trans pregnant people, and explored the unique ways pregnancy loss impacts these groups. This book gave me, someone who has never been pregnant, some much-needed understanding of these issues and why they are important. This is such a crucial read.
April 27, 2024
You may wonder what would motivate a person to pick up a book like this. For me, it was because I have friends who have been affected by loss, and I wanted to know how to show up for them. It's incredibly sad, true, but it's also filled with hope. It's about helping people heal while also naming the roadblocks that stand in their way. It's about unraveling complicated grief and searching for ways to fix our undeniably broken system. Both authors have experienced loss, and their stories bring vulnerability and authenticity to the narrative. They also explain complex issues--I can't even expand too much without worrying I'd misrepresent them. For instance, a person who has lost a wanted pregnancy might refer to a baby while someone who had an abortion might refer to tissue. It gets much deeper than that, so I highly recommend this book even for those who have not experienced this grief or loss. We are at a tipping point with reproductive care in this country, and the authors' keen observations are so important to our activism and support of grieving parents.
July 7, 2024
I am not American but i’ve always been fascinated by what makes this weird nation tick and you know what
it’s the capitalism-led patriarchy. anyway this was an arc on netgalley and it piqued my interest and thought i would check it out , was pleasantly surprised .
the topics discussed wether it’s abortion or just plain female patient care that’s regarded as a nuisance
it’s universal, the problems are universal and for this book to show all of this , specially currently with the ongoing genocide in gaza where women are dying wether it’s by american-funded israeli bombs , lack of period products , no hospitals to give birth in
i think this book does highlight how women’s bodies are never truly ours and how the big man (namely america here) fucks us all over all around the world
anyway this was a good read!
it’s the capitalism-led patriarchy. anyway this was an arc on netgalley and it piqued my interest and thought i would check it out , was pleasantly surprised .
the topics discussed wether it’s abortion or just plain female patient care that’s regarded as a nuisance
it’s universal, the problems are universal and for this book to show all of this , specially currently with the ongoing genocide in gaza where women are dying wether it’s by american-funded israeli bombs , lack of period products , no hospitals to give birth in
i think this book does highlight how women’s bodies are never truly ours and how the big man (namely america here) fucks us all over all around the world
anyway this was a good read!
May 29, 2024
I initially wanted to read this book because I was interviewed for it. I was curious to see if/how my story was written about. After I started reading though, I couldn't put it down. This was such a phenomenal read. Rebecca and Colleen wrote an amazing book. I plan on recommending this to EVERYONE, no matter their views on loss, abortions, politics, etc.
I loved all the bits of humor and asides by the authors. I cried and grieved for those who have lost.
I found the history on loss (miscarriage and abortions) to be fascinating. The profound change we as a society have gone through even in the last 100 years and how we view pregnancy and loss is eye-opening. Do not hesitate to read this book.
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC.
I loved all the bits of humor and asides by the authors. I cried and grieved for those who have lost.
I found the history on loss (miscarriage and abortions) to be fascinating. The profound change we as a society have gone through even in the last 100 years and how we view pregnancy and loss is eye-opening. Do not hesitate to read this book.
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC.
April 14, 2024
Wow. 'I'm Sorry for My Loss' shines light on some very important topics that are easy to shy away from and can feel embarrassing (even though they shouldn't be) to discuss with others. This is the first time I have voluntarily decided to read a book with this much information and importance; but it felt like knowledge every woman should know and I wanted to take a try at it. That being said, I was mentally preparing to be overwhelmed. I was ready to feel like I was reading a textbook from school and be utterly confused. However, it was not like that. The pacing of this book was done very well and the format made it easy to digest. The amount of humor sprinkled in was a nice touch to lighten up the passages without taking away from the overall message. I appreciate the amount of work that went into putting this book together and I will be recommending this to all the women in my life. Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book early before publication.
June 25, 2024
As someone who has had an abortion of wanted pregnancy, and volunteers in reproductive rights, this book is absolutely critical reading in the Post-Roe landscape. It felt so nice to be SEEN as other publications completely dismiss circumstances such as my own. It was also really gratifying to see so many concerns that I have around the categorization of medical treatments and how they impact individuals brought to a larger stage. I loved the bits of humor (as a later abortion loss mom that uses some myself!) and the pacing of the book. I highly recommend this and will be buying copies to give to others.
July 9, 2024
Since the overturn of Roe Vs Wade, a woman's choice to choose has been taken away in many states.
Termination of pregnancies that were previously performed for medical reasons are under attack with the medical community not sure how to proceed based on the laws in effect. Heart wrenching stories from women who suffered from miscarriages and stillborn births are told along with the guilt and shame they felt due to the way society deals with these topics. Impact of racism and misogyny is also covered. This book should be required reading to better understand reproductive rights, past and present, and the effect on women's health.
#ImSorryformyLoss #Sourcebooks #NetGalley
Termination of pregnancies that were previously performed for medical reasons are under attack with the medical community not sure how to proceed based on the laws in effect. Heart wrenching stories from women who suffered from miscarriages and stillborn births are told along with the guilt and shame they felt due to the way society deals with these topics. Impact of racism and misogyny is also covered. This book should be required reading to better understand reproductive rights, past and present, and the effect on women's health.
#ImSorryformyLoss #Sourcebooks #NetGalley
July 15, 2024
A comprehensive, valuable and interesting look at miscarriage, stillbirth (and abortion). Thought-provoking, and (dare I say it) at times, funny. Glad I read it!
August 2, 2024
This is a really powerful book. The two women who wrote it share their own experiences with miscarriage and how hard it is to talk about in today’s society. Before modern advances like pregnancy tests, many women didn’t even know they miscarried unless they were much farther along, so many didn’t grieve the loss of a child. And sadly, many children died young and mother’s were so accustomed to it, they didn’t give themselves the luxury of grieving. But as medicine has advanced, women have become more knowledgeable about their bodies and that combined with our emotions, has allowed us to feel more connected to our bodies during pregnancy. But sadly, health care has not improved much for women. We still struggle with one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the world, with women of color having the highest death rate among all women, b/c racist and ingrained beliefs keep medical workers from providing them with the care they deserve. These women are often ignored or disbelieved or even accused of falsehoods, like being on drugs or alcohol.
How we expect women to survive when our rights and freedoms are constantly being undermined, taken away or ignored, I’m not sure. It one thing is for certain and the authors make this very clear: childbirth, no matter how advanced our society is, is still inherently dangerous for women. And not receiving the appropriate care needed, many women will continue to suffer and even die from complications. This book was wonderfully written and they authors also have a great sense of humor which keeps it from getting downright depressing. I hope anyone who read this book feels more enlightened about where women stand and how we can change that for the better.
How we expect women to survive when our rights and freedoms are constantly being undermined, taken away or ignored, I’m not sure. It one thing is for certain and the authors make this very clear: childbirth, no matter how advanced our society is, is still inherently dangerous for women. And not receiving the appropriate care needed, many women will continue to suffer and even die from complications. This book was wonderfully written and they authors also have a great sense of humor which keeps it from getting downright depressing. I hope anyone who read this book feels more enlightened about where women stand and how we can change that for the better.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews