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Woman of Interest: A Memoir
A National Book Foundation’s 5 Under 35 honoree delivers her first work of nonfiction: a compulsively readable, genre-bending story of finding her missing birth mother and, along the way, learning the priceless power of self-knowledge.
In 2020, Tracy O’Neill began to rethink her ideas of comfort and safety. Just out of a ten-year relationship, thirtysomething, and in a world playing by new rules, she was driven by an acute awareness that the mysterious birth mother she’d never met—may be dying somewhere in South Korea.
Hiring a grizzled private investigator, O’Neill took his suggested homework to heart and, when he disappeared before the job was done, picked up the trail, becoming her own hell-bent detective. Covid could have already gotten to her mother. Yet the promise of whom and what she might discover—the possibility that her biological mother was her own kind of outlaw, whose life could inspire her own—was too tempting.
Written like a mystery novel, Woman of Interest is a tale of self-discovery, featuring a femme fatale of unique proportions, a former CIA operative with a criminal record, and a dogged investigator of radical connections outside the nuclear family and fugitivity from convention. O’Neill gorgeously bends the detective genre to her own will as a writer, stepping out of the shadows of her own self-conception to illuminate the hope-filled woman of interest she is becoming.
In 2020, Tracy O’Neill began to rethink her ideas of comfort and safety. Just out of a ten-year relationship, thirtysomething, and in a world playing by new rules, she was driven by an acute awareness that the mysterious birth mother she’d never met—may be dying somewhere in South Korea.
Hiring a grizzled private investigator, O’Neill took his suggested homework to heart and, when he disappeared before the job was done, picked up the trail, becoming her own hell-bent detective. Covid could have already gotten to her mother. Yet the promise of whom and what she might discover—the possibility that her biological mother was her own kind of outlaw, whose life could inspire her own—was too tempting.
Written like a mystery novel, Woman of Interest is a tale of self-discovery, featuring a femme fatale of unique proportions, a former CIA operative with a criminal record, and a dogged investigator of radical connections outside the nuclear family and fugitivity from convention. O’Neill gorgeously bends the detective genre to her own will as a writer, stepping out of the shadows of her own self-conception to illuminate the hope-filled woman of interest she is becoming.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published June 25, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
June 8, 2024
“Where does a woman go on her own?”
O’Neill—Korean-born, American-raised—knows very little about her birth mother and until 2020, didn’t much care but now she wants some answers. Who is this elusive woman?
The fact that O’Neill knows so little about her mother and hasn’t heard a thing about her in over thirty years means there isn’t much hope of new information but determined as she is, she hires a private investigator to find her “woman of interest”. When that line goes cold, O’Neill sets out to South Korea on her own.
A fascinating memoir in premise but an exhausting read in reality. With prose so clunky, meandering, and edges jutting every which way, it made it difficult to find a flow while reading or to even enjoy. The author seemed detached from the writing and the whole book felt impersonal.
Thank you Harper One and NetGalley for the digital copy in exchange for an honest review. Available 06/25/2024
O’Neill—Korean-born, American-raised—knows very little about her birth mother and until 2020, didn’t much care but now she wants some answers. Who is this elusive woman?
The fact that O’Neill knows so little about her mother and hasn’t heard a thing about her in over thirty years means there isn’t much hope of new information but determined as she is, she hires a private investigator to find her “woman of interest”. When that line goes cold, O’Neill sets out to South Korea on her own.
A fascinating memoir in premise but an exhausting read in reality. With prose so clunky, meandering, and edges jutting every which way, it made it difficult to find a flow while reading or to even enjoy. The author seemed detached from the writing and the whole book felt impersonal.
Thank you Harper One and NetGalley for the digital copy in exchange for an honest review. Available 06/25/2024
May 24, 2024
The book starts off slowly as the author establishes her bona fides as a literary bad girl who likes literary bad boys and is a bit cynical and neurotic. She’s a transracial Korean adoptee who grew up in the blue collar suburbs around Boston which can be very rough indeed so she comes by all this toughness honestly but it’s not really my cup of tea.
Here’s the story: during the pandemic, the author decides she wants to find her birth mother in case the mother might die before she finds her. She hires a private eye who later drops the case. Though she does have a gift for a turn of phrase, no doubt.
Things start to pick up when she finds some close relatives and goes to Korea, still in the pandemic, to chase her mother. It’s all very mysterious with a lot of red herrings. What’s her mom’s real name? Why did she give her daughter up for adoption? The more we learn, the more confusing and sordid they seem. But also more fascinating.
I think the problem with this book is that it has too honest and jagged a shape. The best memoirs feel like novels, with a well crafted and well paced beginning, middle and end. It may not be realistic but it’s what I’ve come to expect.
Here’s the story: during the pandemic, the author decides she wants to find her birth mother in case the mother might die before she finds her. She hires a private eye who later drops the case. Though she does have a gift for a turn of phrase, no doubt.
Things start to pick up when she finds some close relatives and goes to Korea, still in the pandemic, to chase her mother. It’s all very mysterious with a lot of red herrings. What’s her mom’s real name? Why did she give her daughter up for adoption? The more we learn, the more confusing and sordid they seem. But also more fascinating.
I think the problem with this book is that it has too honest and jagged a shape. The best memoirs feel like novels, with a well crafted and well paced beginning, middle and end. It may not be realistic but it’s what I’ve come to expect.
July 6, 2024
Oof. This was such a frustrating read because I really wanted to like it. I love memoirs and the premise of this one is really interesting: An adopted Korean woman trying to find her birth mother and all of the challenges - internal and external - that go along with that search. In reality, the writing is so stream of consciousness, and the sentences often long and convoluted, that it was difficult (and exhausting) to follow. I really don’t like to DNF books, but I had to fight the urge from about the first quarter of the book onwards. I kept thinking it would get better, but instead it deteriorated as she made the trip to South Korea to finally meet up with her birth mother. And, I’m not really sure how the entire searching/meeting/knowing experience actually affected her own life going forward…maybe I missed it?
Thank you Harper One and NetGalley for a digital copy in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you Harper One and NetGalley for a digital copy in exchange for an honest review.
June 3, 2024
Navel-gazing at its most whiny. I think I'm the wrong generation to appreciate this book. She ends it with a reference to Finnegan's Wake--really pretentious! (Starred review in Publishers Weekly.)
July 1, 2024
3 1/2, practically 4 stars. O'Neill's prose and word choice is beautiful and I enjoyed that, the style hindered it a bit. I really had to push through until she flew to South Korea. I found the semi-stream-of-consciousness-style hindered the beginning as it led to uncertainty/confusion on the timeline of events, and also on who was who. One of the big 'advert' for this book was the disappearance of the PI she hired to find her mom. What happened there was never clear and didn't even really feel like he disappeared, simply got busy and didn't call.
I loved and appreciated her taking the reader so viscerally into her mind and emotions, but at some points, I think, she was the only one who knew what she was talking about.
I loved and appreciated her taking the reader so viscerally into her mind and emotions, but at some points, I think, she was the only one who knew what she was talking about.
April 10, 2024
Imagine being extremely articulate and then suddenly immersing in a country where you cannot speak or understand the language. Imagine traveling there to see someone with whom you once shared the most intimate proximity yet who has always been unknowable. Once, you grew inside her womb. But then you were brought to a very far away and different country and you were adopted by a different family. Now, as an adult, you go on a mission to find this other mother who is yet a complete stranger. Imagine that once you manage to meet this mother, you can never get a grasp on who she really is.
Tracey O’Neil shares her memories of her journey during the Covid pandemic to meet her birth mother in South Korea. She writes, “Woman of Interest,” a captivating memoir, in which she seeks to know the truth surrounding her life’s beginning. Her experience is nightmarishly frustrating. Interwoven in the memoir are “characters” including her beloved dog and a variety of people important to her life. She has deep connections with her friends and an international spirit. Life goes on and her quest in South Korea merges into her life memories. And she carries on.
Tracey O’Neil shares her memories of her journey during the Covid pandemic to meet her birth mother in South Korea. She writes, “Woman of Interest,” a captivating memoir, in which she seeks to know the truth surrounding her life’s beginning. Her experience is nightmarishly frustrating. Interwoven in the memoir are “characters” including her beloved dog and a variety of people important to her life. She has deep connections with her friends and an international spirit. Life goes on and her quest in South Korea merges into her life memories. And she carries on.
August 2, 2024
Woman of Interest – Tracy O’Neill – 2024 –
This is a complex and unsettling account of O’Neill’s international adoption, her search for her birth mother, and journey to South Korea to meet her birth family during the Covid-19 Pandemic (December 2021). O’Neill, a writer, novelist, and educator, completed her MA at Columbia University and currently teaches at Vassar College, “Woman of Interest” is her third book.
The private investigator O’Neill originally hired abandoned her case. Thanks to DNA technology, she was able to contact a distant cousin, “Uncle Phillip” who had moved to the US from South Korea (1986), and knew her birthmother, half-sister and two half-brothers. Phil was happy to help her arrange the trip but recommended a later travel date. Covid infections had increased, there would be a 10-day quarantine period, and later, he would be able to send his daughters to assist and act as translators. O’Neill refused to consider his suggestion and wanted to leave right away. O’Neill didn’t seem to know enough about her birth family, the language, social customs or culture. Instead, she would depend on her uncle and the Google Translation apps.
In South Korea, despite the short notice and introductory period, her family was kind, accommodating, and genuinely pleased meet and host O’Neill, although unsure and perplexed on how to answer her numerous questions and explain their family dynamic. Her “Eomma” had likely faced severe judgment and stigma in polite Korean society for O’Neill’s birth by a man who was married to someone else, divorce, and children with different fathers. None of these things made her a criminal or con-artist. O’Neill believed that her Eomma was a liar, (and seemed to judge her by American standards) she refused consent to the release of additional records by the Eastern Social Welfare Society, and her youngest brother was unavailable to meet her.
Outside of Seoul, O’Neill’s Eomma lived in a luxury 3-bedroom high rise apartment building with her geriatric dog. Due to the change in time zones, O’Neill was exhausted (irritable) and unable to sleep well, yet this was a poor excuse for her disrespectful and shameful treatment of her elderly mother as she prepared for an early departure. Back in the states O’Neill resumed her life in Brooklyn, and it was surprising her South Korean family (including her uncle) wanted to have any contact with her. With thanks to our Public Library System. - 2*FAIR
This is a complex and unsettling account of O’Neill’s international adoption, her search for her birth mother, and journey to South Korea to meet her birth family during the Covid-19 Pandemic (December 2021). O’Neill, a writer, novelist, and educator, completed her MA at Columbia University and currently teaches at Vassar College, “Woman of Interest” is her third book.
The private investigator O’Neill originally hired abandoned her case. Thanks to DNA technology, she was able to contact a distant cousin, “Uncle Phillip” who had moved to the US from South Korea (1986), and knew her birthmother, half-sister and two half-brothers. Phil was happy to help her arrange the trip but recommended a later travel date. Covid infections had increased, there would be a 10-day quarantine period, and later, he would be able to send his daughters to assist and act as translators. O’Neill refused to consider his suggestion and wanted to leave right away. O’Neill didn’t seem to know enough about her birth family, the language, social customs or culture. Instead, she would depend on her uncle and the Google Translation apps.
In South Korea, despite the short notice and introductory period, her family was kind, accommodating, and genuinely pleased meet and host O’Neill, although unsure and perplexed on how to answer her numerous questions and explain their family dynamic. Her “Eomma” had likely faced severe judgment and stigma in polite Korean society for O’Neill’s birth by a man who was married to someone else, divorce, and children with different fathers. None of these things made her a criminal or con-artist. O’Neill believed that her Eomma was a liar, (and seemed to judge her by American standards) she refused consent to the release of additional records by the Eastern Social Welfare Society, and her youngest brother was unavailable to meet her.
Outside of Seoul, O’Neill’s Eomma lived in a luxury 3-bedroom high rise apartment building with her geriatric dog. Due to the change in time zones, O’Neill was exhausted (irritable) and unable to sleep well, yet this was a poor excuse for her disrespectful and shameful treatment of her elderly mother as she prepared for an early departure. Back in the states O’Neill resumed her life in Brooklyn, and it was surprising her South Korean family (including her uncle) wanted to have any contact with her. With thanks to our Public Library System. - 2*FAIR
May 27, 2024
Tracy O'Neill has written a brilliant memoir on her journey of locating her birth mother in Korea under the backdrop of the COVID 19 pandemic. Her writing is instantly captivating and kept me wanting to continue with her story, even though, truthfully, I didn't remember requesting this memoir, but her perspective and story is fascinating. Additionally, there is so little representation of AAPI adoptees working to find their birth parents, and this memoir details why this can be such a challenging undertaking.
Throughout, her existing relationships are woven into the story - her network of friends, her partner at the time, N, and her adoptive mom. Her characterizations of everyone are incisive and I had so many highlights throughout of fantastic quotes. When referring to the overwhelming experience of meeting her birth mother and family in Korea all while dealing with a language barrier - she says " I don't hate her at all. I am just drowning in her" I think it was also particularly poignant that she later refers to keeping up her relationships with friends overseas that "This is what we give each other at a distance: language" further underscoring the challenges associated the language barrier with her Korean family
Tracy also explores what "home" means - and sometimes, many of the times, home is your dog, something I relate to heavily and a theme that reprised.
I very much recommend the book. Thank you to NetGalley and to the publisher, HarperOne, for the advanced copy.
Throughout, her existing relationships are woven into the story - her network of friends, her partner at the time, N, and her adoptive mom. Her characterizations of everyone are incisive and I had so many highlights throughout of fantastic quotes. When referring to the overwhelming experience of meeting her birth mother and family in Korea all while dealing with a language barrier - she says " I don't hate her at all. I am just drowning in her" I think it was also particularly poignant that she later refers to keeping up her relationships with friends overseas that "This is what we give each other at a distance: language" further underscoring the challenges associated the language barrier with her Korean family
Tracy also explores what "home" means - and sometimes, many of the times, home is your dog, something I relate to heavily and a theme that reprised.
I very much recommend the book. Thank you to NetGalley and to the publisher, HarperOne, for the advanced copy.
July 13, 2024
My thanks to #thefutureofagency and @harperonebooks for a #gifted copy.
Woman of Interest by Tracy O’Neill sounded like my type of took. I love memoirs and the story of a woman searching for her birth mother caught my interest quickly. However, the style of writing took some getting used to.
While this story was interesting, as I mentioned, the author strikes out in her own, special, storytelling manner. In some ways, it reminded me of poetry, where style is unique.
Did I get used to this unique method of relating her story? Yes. But the format and sentence structure felt difficult and I found working too hard to enjoy it.
That said, being unique is exciting. The story was interesting. But I believe this book will have divided reviews. Readers will either love it,
"𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲…[𝐎’𝐍𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐥] 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐜𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐬𝐩𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞." — 𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐥𝐨𝐛𝐞
Or not connect with it.
I found myself in the middle. While I love memoirs and this topic, it wandered too much and the writing style only worked part of the time for me.
However, I like to see authors reach out and tell their stories in their own way.
Woman of Interest by Tracy O’Neill sounded like my type of took. I love memoirs and the story of a woman searching for her birth mother caught my interest quickly. However, the style of writing took some getting used to.
While this story was interesting, as I mentioned, the author strikes out in her own, special, storytelling manner. In some ways, it reminded me of poetry, where style is unique.
Did I get used to this unique method of relating her story? Yes. But the format and sentence structure felt difficult and I found working too hard to enjoy it.
That said, being unique is exciting. The story was interesting. But I believe this book will have divided reviews. Readers will either love it,
"𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲…[𝐎’𝐍𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐥] 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐜𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐬𝐩𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞." — 𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐥𝐨𝐛𝐞
Or not connect with it.
I found myself in the middle. While I love memoirs and this topic, it wandered too much and the writing style only worked part of the time for me.
However, I like to see authors reach out and tell their stories in their own way.
July 30, 2024
I'm a Korean adoptee, like the author, and I was struck by how much I related not only to Tracy O'Neill's search for her birth mother, but the thematic questions she raises throughout the book, though I suppose those two things are not mutually exclusive. However, I imagine a lot of readers, no matter what their background, will connect to the following: the concept of 'home' being a moving target, a feeling of fierce loyalty toward to your friends, a worry that the stories you've been told by other family members about your early childhood could actually be a long con, and an existential wondering about what a good second half of life looks like, especially if you're potentially not getting married and having children. All ideas that are circled in Woman of Interest, a memoir that pushes the boundaries of the genre in both its prose and approach. I also felt the book's focus on investigation and its atmosphere of paranoia was a nice follow up to O'Neill's previous novel, the spy novel Quotients.
May 13, 2024
I’m grateful to Spiegel & Grau for giving me the opportunity to read O’Neill’s memoir. It hits on a story, adoption, that’s close to my heart. And O’Neill’s story is fascinating. Though she explores themes of truth and lies, it feels true And it is a wild ride.
I was confused at times by the writing style. I had to read some metaphors and even sentences multiple times in order to understand them. I also had to look up words that, once defined, seemed unnecessary. The story doesn’t need it. It’s got confusion and sleeplessness and altered states of mind already built in. And it’s riveting. I will be exploring O’Neill’s novels!
I was confused at times by the writing style. I had to read some metaphors and even sentences multiple times in order to understand them. I also had to look up words that, once defined, seemed unnecessary. The story doesn’t need it. It’s got confusion and sleeplessness and altered states of mind already built in. And it’s riveting. I will be exploring O’Neill’s novels!
July 23, 2024
This book was such a letdown! The book could have been half the length. She clearly tried to go for a poetic style of writing and it didn’t work. Instead, the sentences were extremely convoluted and long. In terms of the content, she didn’t really have anything positive to say about anyone (including herself) throughout the entire novel. The book was filled with whiny rants. The fact that the personal investigator disappeared and she had no explanation was odd, along with her trying to start the investigation during a global pandemic.
June 26, 2024
It's a SOLID idea, even if she clearly had it during the pandemic because she was bored and needed a book, but as someone who is a fan of dashiell hammett and memoir and women's stories and contemporary ones and literary fic, none of those things came together. A frustrating read because I kept waiting for it to get better. Not poetry or intellectual or edgy/cool/new, just sorta annoying !! Really liked some scenes w friends though, maybe for a diff book of hers one day.
June 29, 2024
I normally don't read memoir or non-fiction novels. However, Woman of Interest caught my attention. Text didn't feel like the cookie-cutter-memoir filling space on the shelf. I felt like I was on the same self-discovery journey as the author. The mystery of finding out who she was and who her mother was, kept me glued to the page. This memoir read like a fiction mystery novel that I just couldn't put down. O'Neil has done a fantastic job writing this radical memoir! Highly recommended!
July 20, 2024
O'Neill is a brilliant writer with keen observations, but you can tell she's young and raised by white Americans. As an older Asian American raised by first-generation Chinese, I understood her Korean family better than she did. I could have offered an interpretation she couldn't comprehend because of those differences (age and cultural upbringing). Regardless this memoir is worth the read.
July 23, 2024
I LOVED this. And that's coming from someone who usually doesn't go for memoirs. The prose in this is so beautiful and poignant and the story itself is so interesting and important. O'Neill has crafted an incredible story that truly blends genres and is honest, raw, and real. Definitely a must-read!
July 7, 2024
Read like a stream of consciousness or unconsciousness, searching but not searching for answers, present but not present, dreaming in an awake state - I don’t think she was looking for her mother but looking for herself. And her true self was with Cowboy.
June 19, 2024
I received this book from a Goodreads giveaway.
Want to read
June 28, 2024Pre read: Tracy is a high school classmate of mine and I am very excited to read her memoir. I’ll update on my thoughts once I am done with it.
July 5, 2024
Gorgeous, spellbinding memoir, which keeps the reader in its grip from the first to the last page. A must read on family, love, and coming of age.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews