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352 pages, Hardcover
First published May 28, 2024
Better? Leah asked, when they were standing in it.
Yes, Bernie said.
Why?
I'm not sure.
Try would you?
I guess because the parking lot, the asphalt, is most of the picture now. It feels more open, more free, more spacious. More like their party would have felt, maybe.
Leah did not understand this, but she wrote it down.
"How was it possible that men whose blood and energy could pool in such dark places, who could touch and drink and talk with such disregard and impunity, who said things that could fester in the mind for a whole life, could also make things that were so blindingly beautiful and true? Did their ability to make these things stem from the same source as their ability to ruin? Were these things connected? Were they opposed? Unrelated?"
A photograph doesn’t feel how life feels, it turns out, no matter how hard I tried. There’s nothing in living that gets caught like that and doesn’t change, that becomes a place to come back to, again and again, and that hurts, forever. Though there may be something in dying that’s like that. It’s freaky what we do with cameras, if you really think about it. A kind of loving murder.