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The Vigilante Poets of Selwyn Academy

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Whip-smart dialogue and an inside look at the seedy underbelly of reality TV come together in this critically-acclaimed debut perfect for fans of Unreal , John Green, and Frank Portman.

 
Witty, sarcastic Ethan and his three best friends are students at Selwyn Arts Academy, which has been hijacked by For Art’s Sake , a sleazy reality-television show. In the tradition of Ezra Pound, the foursome secretly writes and distributes a long poem to protest the show. They’re thrilled to have started a budding rebellion.
 
But the forces behind the show are craftier than they seem. The web of betrayal stretches farther than Ethan could have ever imagined, and it’s up to him, his friends, and a heroic gerbil named Baconnaise to save Selwyn.

336 pages, Hardcover

First published April 8, 2014

About the author

Kate Hattemer

5 books56 followers

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 433 reviews
Profile Image for Emery Lord.
Author 9 books3,394 followers
February 5, 2014
What a memorable story on every level--the characters, the setting, the poetry, humor. It takes a deft touch to incorporate academia into fiction without the reader sensing a You Are Learning Here signpost. But, wow does Kate Hattemer have that touch. Literary device, Imagism and references to other works are woven into a story that is at once funny (protag Ethan's triplet sisters are a laugh-out-loud riot) and authentic to teens. All in all, POETS manages to be smart without being unapproachable, witty without straining, and original without ever skewing gimmicky.*

*That was a tricolon. Read this book.
Profile Image for Beth.
1,185 reviews148 followers
March 24, 2015
I've reread this four times since January (that reread total is only beaten out by I'll Meet You There) and, due to the battle, haven't gotten the chance to really flesh out some thoughts yet. It might be too late; I'm not going to be able to recapture the immediate, wowed impressions I had. But here's what stayed with me.
Remember: this is not a novel, not a memoir, not produced by anyone with artistic skill. It's just about what happened last year. It's about reality TV, a desperate crush on a ballerina, and a heroic gerbil named Baconnaise. But mostly it's about my friends. Please remember: not art, just life.

I'm going to start small, I think, with one particular instance in The Vigilante Poets of Selwyn Academy. Our vigilante poets have sneakily distributed their work; in that way schools have, nothing remains secret for long; the vice principal gets on the loudspeaker and announces that all copies will be confiscated and that no students are allowed to read the work. Here's what I thought at that moment on read #1: has no one in this school read Harry Potter or heard of The Quibbler? Anyone?

And then this becomes a deliberate, subversive moment in a book full of them, where everything that looks familiar is turned slightly on its head, and none more so than Ethan's beliefs about the people surrounding him.

This is one of the many reasons this book holds up so well: it's almost better when reread than it is on the first read.

The first read gives you a hilarious teen voice and a really entertaining story. English classes! Discussions of the intersection of art and life! Triplet sisters! Every detail is integrated so brilliantly: from the Applemen's gerbil who isn't just Ethan's security blanket but also has a purpose in the story - to the noticeable decrease in quality in the Contracantos ("School was an eye with no mascara") - to the mix of philosophy and whining in true whiplash teen tradition - to the convincing friendships, with just enough judgement, censure, and self-doubt.

Which is exciting to read about. And smart, and funny, and authentic.

But on the second read, I started to think about not just the story, but how it's told. This is a book that examines the responsibility of media and the extent to which behavior is influenced by the media we consume - the extent to which life imitates art, and art imitates life - and the way we tell stories. It specifically highlights the way reality TV tells stories. And it underlines its point by telling its story, by creating its reality, in a way that distinctly contrasts the storytelling of reality TV.

This contrast is established right from the beginning, when Ethan says he's not sure where to start because life isn't a TV show with clearly delineated start and end points. But there's so much more that's less overt.

Ethan finds out, for example, that the show's producers pull together separate pieces to create a storyline; they play recorded dialogue over unrelated footage; they allow manipulated storylines to air if they think those storylines are more compelling. It's called frankenbiting, and it becomes a key part of Ethan's denial of the show's portrayal of Maura. (I... haven't even mentioned Maura yet. Or any characters aside from Ethan, the narrator. Well, they're all great. More on them later.) And yet Ethan frankenbites in his narration, too. The key difference is that it's inadvertent, because he's not omniscient - and he is forced to face his mistakes. Reality TV might be able to establish and follow through on storylines, but life forces people to challenge the narratives they've set up for themselves. And Ethan is forced to confront the reality of people's complexity.

Luke points this concept out, very early on. But it takes Ethan the course of the book to understand it:
"kTV... found tiny unrelated bits of footage, and they put them together to make a storyline. To create a storyline. Which is exactly what you're doing. You're holding like three pieces of a big jigsaw, and you think you know what the whole picture looks like."

One thing I really love about this book is that its characters analyze their own lives on the pages, too. They're not completely separated from the events they enact, in that the events aren't wholly left to the reader to unpack. The characters think about them, too, and they think about their analyses - of English class, and of life. It's yet another degree of involvement.

Beyond the specificity of frankenbiting (though it's really fun to read the book and deconstruct it like that), I'd argue that the entire story - realism! dramatic moments! hilarious supporting characters! - is one TV would love to have, and it takes place under their very noses, and they miss what's right there. Reality TV, the book points out, isn't built to handle actual reality: Luke's bombshell, Baconnaise, that the show might not be able to exist in a bubble and ignore the less-talented kid in the corner. For Art's Sake has to tie together unrelated information to create a compelling narrative when there's a much more compelling story playing out in the same space. I love that.

To say that differently: reality TV never would have given Ethan any airtime. (In fact, they deliberately disregarded him by crowning Luke the sole creator of the Contracantos and ignoring the team that created it - not just in terms of physical creation, but that the work never would've existed had Luke not been able to bounce off of his friends.) But Ethan's story is such a worthwhile one.

There's a discussion to be had on what people look for in their entertainment, and why the show thinks their manufactured storylines will lead to maximum viewer interest, sure. I don't think the book is saying people shouldn't watch reality TV. I think it argues against its being termed reality.

Because reality - and messiness, and zaniness, and moments of boredom and loneliness and betrayal - are front and center in this novel. And they're not contrived or pieced together, but rather the ebbs and flows of everyday life.

There's an interesting distinction drawn between reality TV and "higher" art like Ezra Pound. (It's almost tangential because the book doesn't consider the reality show to be art at all; like Jackson points out, it's a social drama about the artists and not about their art or reality at all.) Ethan defends Pound's work as art imitating life and points out how impenetrable he finds most of it. Difficult, but with pieces that are accessible and beautiful, like life. The novel makes a strong case for denseness and length and getting it all down, even if you need three different beginnings and endings, as opposed to staging and frankenbiting and the self-consciousness that comes when you need to consider your audience before you can tell a story.

The book isn't all argument, though. The reason it's so effective is because the argument underlies a fabulously entertaining story. A little more about the entertainment:

1. The Contracantos. Beginning every chapter with an excerpt is a great way both to actually demonstrate what the characters are working on and to foreshadow what's coming next.

2. Ethan's obsessions with grammar - I'm running out of synonyms for "great." It's a wonderful way of tying his story together, and it's smart without ever being heavy-handed about its smarts. The way tricolon is used at every possible juncture and with every possible list is both self-aware and demonstrative of the power of threes - which the story shows instead of simply discussing in the abstract. (There's a lot of showing, not just telling, in this work.)

3. BradLee's English classes and the discussions of Pound's work. It's rare when writers integrate other works into their own books well. This is successful because it's learning filtered through Ethan, and so every powerful moment - "I mean beauty, not slither... You don't argue about an April wind, you feel bucked up when you meet it" - is magnified because it's speaking to you through someone else. Because it's meaningful to someone else.

It seems these three items have a lot in common, which probably surprises no one. I will always love smart, interesting approaches to integrating art and literature into life. And I love that this book does that in terms of its critique of reality TV and in terms of the literature discussed in class.

I said earlier that I'd talk about the characters, but this has gotten really, really long. So I'll just say that Maura and her single-mindedness are very compelling; Ethan's friends are so well-rounded, there's paragraphs to write on each - on not just what Ethan says about them but on what they say about each other, and how they interrelate; and Ethan himself, who is this book's heart, with his by turns sarcastic and vulnerable and unlikeable voice, his triplet sisters, his gerbil friend, and his place in the untalented caste.

One last thing: I think the book can be read yet another way because it's discussing art as a commercial art form itself. But I don't want to read it that way. Yes, books need to sell. Art needs to sell, too. Everyone needs to eat. If Hattemer hadn't written this book, I wouldn't have gotten this opportunity to think about art and commercialization in the first place. I don't want to discount a thoughtful examination of art because it's presented using a medium powerful enough to reach me.
Profile Image for Sara .
1,200 reviews125 followers
April 9, 2016
+lots of nerdy references to rhetorical devices
+the two side friends were fun and interesting characters
-one of the stupidest plots of all time ; in believability and tone, it reminded me of Glee .
-everyone except two side friends were undimensional or cartoons
-serious lack of diversity
-MC white male describes the dreadlocks of his "half-black" female side-friend as beautiful, but not in the way of normal obvious beauty, but more like "undergrowth" or "like the mottled surface of an old car's bumper" and is always barely suppressing his urge to touch them. So offensive.
-At the beginning of the book, the MC regards his "half-black" friend Elizabeth as sexless, fixating instead on a white ballerina who he regards as unattainably beautiful. There are some fakeout scenes where the MC seems to begin a crush on Elizabeth that seems like it could be reciprocated, but instead of anything coming of this, Elizabeth gives the MC a heartfelt speech about love and about how the MC needs better perspective about what love is (#magicalnegro) . And nothing really comes of this either. In fact, at the end when the ballerina has left their school, Elizabeth tells the MC that he would have totally had a chance with the ballerina. But this is after the MC realizes his crush on the ballerina was based on no real knowledge of her as a person.
-No characters challenge the idea of a girl having a "bad reputation" because she dates multiple people
-I found most of the "humorous dialog" to be forced and tedious
-parents were almost completely absent and characterless
Profile Image for Ashleigh.
923 reviews14 followers
October 14, 2013
4.5 Read as digital ARC.

Recap: we've got a reality TV show, we've got a vigilante long poem, we've got my attention. This book is brilliant, a good match for English/Creative Writing majors, AP English-takers, and (it's so deep and well-written) maybe even for fans of John Green. You will learn about punctuation marks. You will use poetry to examine your feelings AND to fight against the man. You will like it.
Profile Image for Melissa McShane.
Author 69 books819 followers
March 24, 2015
Selwyn Academy is a school for artists of all kinds: visual, written, dance, theater, music. It’s also the basis for a popular reality show, For Art’s Sake, in which students compete for a major scholarship. Everyone’s addicted to it, except Ethan, Luke, Jackson, and Elizabeth, who for various reasons think it’s degrading and a slap in the face to true art. It’s Luke who comes up with a plan for exposing the show for the cheap, sensationalist crap it is, but when an unexpected development ruins their plans, it’s the other three who have to prove what’s really going on at Selwyn Academy.

I’m not a fan of Ezra Pound, but I could appreciate the way his poetry framed the story. Hattemer weaves quotes from his Cantos into the story at just the right moments to make them part of the underlying structure. There’s a lot of balancing going on here, balancing the plot with the Cantos, the Cantos with the characters, the characters with each other, and I really admire the craft. It’s also funny at times, particularly if you like nerd humor (why is one guy’s code name Avogadro? Because he’s the mole. It’s really funny if you love chemistry, I promise, especially if it comes out of nowhere).

Ethan, the first-person narrator, has a really great, strong voice, and his three friends come across as unique individuals. The characterization skirts a little too close to stereotype, unfortunately; awkward Ethan has a huge crush on the beautiful and self-assured ballet dancer, Jackson the computer genius falls into geek-mode too often, and Elizabeth, who frankly gets too little screen time, is maybe a little too bold and fearless (though since I like bold and fearless female protagonists, I don’t actually care if this is stereotype). And I’m not sure what to make of Luke. Since we get everything through Ethan’s perspective, and Hattemer is good at handling her naïve narrator, Luke’s character development and the twist in the middle of the book seem reasonable. Almost. I was as surprised and horrified as the characters when , but I felt that some of that surprise and horror had been manufactured—that Ethan was possibly a little too naïve about his friend for the sake of that twist. Then I didn’t quite buy it when . What I think worked well is that at the beginning, Jackson and Elizabeth sort of faded into the background because Luke is Ethan’s best friend; I noticed this, and was a little annoyed by it, until the middle of the book when the focus shifted and Ethan’s ties to his other friends became stronger. I think I would have preferred all four to be equally strong presences in the book, but as an aspect of Ethan’s characterization, I think it worked.

The reality show For Art’s Sake is what the plot revolves around, since it’s the friends’ effort to get rid of it that takes up most of the story, and the idea is really interesting, even if I think it’s unlikely (having had a child in an expensive private school once) that any private school full of kids whose parents are paying a ton of money to have them educated would want that education disrupted, even for fame and potential scholarships. It’s equally unlikely that the show would be so incredibly popular without the parents of those students, particularly those in the show, not being fully aware of how their kids are being portrayed. Pitting the four friends against the reality show, with its warping of the ideals of art, makes for a good story, but this book also comes across as an indictment of reality television separate from the concerns of the characters. Everyone involved with the show, with the possible exception of , is a caricature of venality, ignorance, and selfishness, just in case we didn’t get that For Art’s Sake is a Bad Thing. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to take on reality TV, just that this feels like one too many plots for a single book.

Despite all this, I did enjoy the book; I liked Ethan’s interactions with his triplet toddler sisters and what that meant for his position in his family. I liked Ethan despite his occasional gormlessness. It does feel like a first novel, but one that shows the author’s potential, and I’m interested in seeing what Hattemer writes next.
Profile Image for Leslie Manning.
Author 7 books222 followers
November 12, 2017
This book by Kate Hattemer turned out to be a delight, not only because it is written with smart kids in mind (and yes, there are a LOT of smart young people out there), but because it is different. The plot is unique, the students' personalities are not cookie cutter, and neither are their relationships with one another. Even with all these great things going for it, thematic value is the book's best asset, offering a glimpse into the poetic, emotional, and comedically dark minds of certain high schoolers. Ezra Pound, a handful of unusual teachers, a gerbil, and a television reality show all play important roles in a story that reminds the reader that no matter how dramatic high school is, the cogs that make up the machine are real people with deep feelings and a human craving to band together to do what's right...even if not everyone is on board! A perfect book for your smarter high school students.
Profile Image for Jennifer DuBose.
229 reviews6 followers
April 19, 2017
Outstanding writing!

I know this is marketed as YA lit, but I think this book is truly for anyone who is interested in reading, literature, or education. The plot and characters were so lovable, and as an English teacher, I appreciated all the many literature and poetry references. This is all around an entertaining and smart read, and I didn't want it to end.
Profile Image for Kim.
1,469 reviews28 followers
May 3, 2014
One of the best books I've read all year. Can't wait till April when it's published so that I can shove it in the hands of lots of students. Selwyn Academy is a high school specializing in the arts. Ethan Andrezejczak is an unassuming self-described member of the Untalented caste (okay at music, okay at drawing, but not nearly on the same level artistically as Maura the dancer and Brandon the opera singer and Broadway-bound Miki F-R). Life is fairly predictable for Ethan and his friends until the beginning of their junior year. That's when they find out that kTV has selected their school to film For Art's Sake!, a new reality show that will pit 19 of Selwyn's students against each other to compete for a $100,000 scholarship. Most of the students are thrilled, but Ethan, Luke, Jackson, and Elizabeth quickly realize that having TV crews around 24-7 and pitting students against each other is going to detract from what has been a pretty decent education. The administration stonewalls their criticism, so the four take their protests to the student body subversively. They've been studying Ezra Pound in English, and inspired by his Cantos, they chronicle the misadventures of FAS's invasion in their own epic poem, The Contracantos. The narrative is sharp and witty and thought-provoking (you'll learn a lot about Ezra Pound, not to mention revisionary mythopoesis, zeugma, anaphora, interrobangs, and my favorite new acronym WiTSOOTT). The characters are fully developed, the ups and downs of the various friendships are honestly portrayed, and the whole thing just shines.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

(reviewed in April 2014 for Children's Literature. Review essentially same as above with a few small modifications)
Profile Image for Lisa Shafer.
Author 5 books51 followers
July 19, 2014
Finally! A YA Book That's NOT About Romance!

More and more often lately, YA books are being written for adults who want sexy, romantic teen characters -- and very recently, the trend has been that one of these characters must have a terminal disease.
Vigilante Poets is a tremendously refreshing change.
My favorite thing about this book is how very realistic the main characters are. The male narrator, Ethan, is not sexy, suave, or sophisticated; he's idealistic, clueless about girls, and loyal. He's also hilarious.
Yes, the book is a bit heavy on Ezra Pound's poetry for most teenage readers, but it is not necessary to "get" Pound in order to understand the book. (Rhetorical question: Does anyone actually "get" Ezra Pound anyway? That question has been debated for decades.)
Thus, if you want steamy teen romance, this is not your book. If you are an adult who has gotten used to reading YA wherein the "kids" act like adults, this is not your book. But if you want to read a funny, realistic book about hilarious and idealistic teenagers who see themselves as fighting injustice, this is your book. And, if you want a book wherein ...


***** MINOR SPOILER ALERT******

no one has cancer except the gerbil, then this is your book!
Profile Image for Dixie Conley.
Author 1 book9 followers
March 9, 2015
I was misled into reading this book by its description. Reality shows, vigilante poets and high school at school for the arts? What's not to love?

In this case? Everything.

The reality show, although being the center that all other matters in the book revolved around, hardly featured in the book. We did not see even one full show played out. And, in fact, it turned out not to be a reality show, but instead, entirely scripted. Which, yeah, we all suspect about reality shows, so not much of a surprise, but still. A downer as far as my enjoyment of the book goes.

And the vigilante poets? Only one of the bunch is a poet and, while his poems did rhyme, five lines isn't exactly difficult to do that with. The subject matter was equally disappointing. The poems all had the same message: reality shows bad, art good. And then the poet sells out to the reality show, stops being a vigilante and writes even worse verse about how great the show is.

As to the high school parts, they were just painful reminders of a past I'd rather not revisit. I'd hoped that it being an arts school or being about poets would help, but it didn't.

Overall? Let me count the ways this book sucks.
Profile Image for Mary McCoy.
Author 4 books226 followers
April 13, 2019
When a sleazy reality tv show called For Art's Sake starts filming at their high school, four teens write a subversive epic poem inspired by Ezra Pound's Cantos against it. But then it sort of backfires, and winds up getting one of their number put on the show and leaves the rest of them feeling betrayed. Also, there is a brave little gerbil named Baconnaise in it and a scene on pg. 244 that totally kills me.

I love books where characters engage with art and big ideas. I'd recommend this one to fans of John Green's funnier books.
Profile Image for Brooks Benjamin.
Author 1 book156 followers
December 8, 2014
The prestigious Selwyn Arts Academy is full of brilliantly talented teens. It's full of dance classes, literature classes, vocal classes. But what it's not full of is a TV reality talent show called For Art's Sake that exploits the students for a miniature bump in ratings.

Oh, wait.

Scratch that.

That's exactly what Selwyn Arts Academy has this year.

And the school couldn't be more thrilled. I mean, it's not every day that you get to go to class and maybe run into some huge TV producer and accidentally camera bomb the shot and OMG I'M GOING TO BE ON TELEVISION!

Except if you're Luke. He's had it up to here (holds hand way above head) with the way For Art's Sake has decided to cheapen the meaning of the word art with its weekly broadcast of overdramatized schlock. So he and his best friends, Ethan, Elizabeth, and Jackson write a vigilante poem to begin an epic underground movement that will rattle the very foundations of the reality TV show kingdom and bring For Art's Sake crumbling to the ground in a heap of HD cameras, gaff tape, and half-empty Starbucks cups.

In no time, the friends' words are scurrying off the lips of every student and teacher in the school. The plan is working. And there's not a thing the TV show can do about it. Except cast Luke, the brainchild of the poem, on the program.

Which it does.

Now Ethan, Elizabeth, and Jackson--along with a furry gerbil sidekick, Baconnaise--must figure out a way to infiltrate the inner circle of cast members to save their must-be-brainwashed pal, their school, and the entire viewing audience from the undying evil of reality television.

There's not a single thing I dislike about this book. No joke. Ethan, the narrator, has one of the most genuine teen voices I've ever read. Yes, the story deals with art in its many forms and the weapon of choice is a long poem inspired by Ezra Pound, but every single character is accessible and the language never even throws a sideways glance toward pretentious.

What made me fall hard in love with this, though, was how Hattemer skirted the traditional rules of story format right off the bat. The book has three beginnings. And yeah, you read all three. You have to. Not because you'll miss some key fragment to a seemingly broken plot point down the road if you don't. It's because her writing is so flipping good you don't want to miss any of it. It's funny. It's honest. It's smart. And, as a writer, it's inspiring.

If it sounds like I'm gushing, it's probably because I am. This is a book I want to gush over. I've recommended this to just about every person I know who knows how to read. And now I want to recommend it to you.

Like art? Read it.

Like humor? Read it.

Like relationships? Read it.

Like ______? Read it.

Seriously. You won't regret it. Because Selwyn Academy has everything. Except you. So jump in.
Profile Image for Jenny.
813 reviews35 followers
January 3, 2015
This young adult novel was a welcome relief from dystopian futures and epic trilogies that I’ve been reading, but the issue of threes does come up. Ethan Andrezejszak is a student at a Minneapolis high school for the arts and thanks to his English teacher, he has become enamored with the tricolon, a rhetorical device that involves a list of three elements such as “I came, I saw, I conquered.” This rhetorical trinity not only represents his three best friends at school—Luke, Elizabeth, and Jackson—but his siblings at home—the four-year-old triplets, Olivia, Lila, and Tabitha, who suck the attention and the life out of his parents but in an adorable way. Ethan continues to use the tricolon as he attempts to start this story three different ways. A story that is “about reality TV, a desperate crush on a ballerina, and a heroic gerbil named Baconnaise” (5).

Ethan and his friends are fed up with the fact that their junior year at Selwyn Academy is being ruined by a reality TV series, entitled “For Art’s Sake” that has chosen their school and a group of a group of Selwyn students (not them) to compete for the title, “America’s Best Teen Artist.” Ethan especially is dismayed by the way they are portraying Maura, an aspiring ballerina, who he harbors a crush for and who he learns is desperate to win so she can afford to attend Julliard. Luke, who is the leader of this small band of rebels, comes up with the idea of writing a subversive long form poem, skewering the series and secretly distributing it to the student body. They are reading Ezra Pound in English class and are inspired by his cantos.

With the help of Elizabeth and Jackson, Luke and Ethan pull off this top secret operation but the results are not what any of them expect. Friendships are betrayed, new loves are discovered, and a gerbil named after a condiment may be needed to save the day.

I thought that Kate Hattemer created a realistic high school world and a great teen voice in Ethan. My only quibble is that I didn’t get a strong feel for Minneapolis in the book; it could have been set anywhere. Still that’s a small issue in a book that is smart, funny, and touching.
Profile Image for Peter.
111 reviews
October 12, 2021
Ethan's friend Luke creates a long poem to protest a greedy reality show in the Vigilante Poets of Selwyn Academy.

I really loved this book. I think it's written well, yet informally, which I like. I liked the characters and the premise. The ending was great.
My biggest complaint is that a few parts are a little boring. Not many, but a few.

I think this book was really good, but some parts being a little boring brings my rating down to four and a half stars.
Profile Image for Amy.
207 reviews
August 31, 2014
I'm not a young adult but I read a lot of YA fiction. I was excited to read this book because it had such rave reviews and it was being compared to books by John Green. I wanted to like this book but I didn't. It was a chore. The only thing that rang true for me in any of the characters was the teenage angst and unrequited love that Ethan had for Maura and the obvious crush that Elizabeth had on Ethan. I realize that these are not average teenagers but what the author should realize is that most of the people reading this book will be average teenagers. They are not interested (or at least I was not interested) in Ezra Pound or his poetry. That was one of the things that made reading this book not fun. I understand that I may be subjected to reading about class lectures in a book and the author of this book may have a special place in her heart for Ezra Pound but I suspect that most teenagers will not share this feeling. I also thought the book had an unrealistically happy ending,
My favorite characters were Ethan's triplet sisters and the hamster Baconnaise. To me, they were the only truly authentic characters, though I do doubt that any hamster could truly do the things done by Baconnaise.
Profile Image for Dahlia.
Author 19 books2,657 followers
March 22, 2017
As artistically crafted and poetry-centric as its name would suggest, this debut made me laugh out loud a couple hundred times or so. Ethan and his friends are poetic misfit idealists, looking to reclaim their school from the artist reality show that’s constantly pervading their lives and education…and breaking Ethan’s heart over one of its stars in the process. The whole thing is more than a little meta when it comes to where the lines between art and reality are joined, and if you’re not sold enough by the epic poem or the fun, quirky characters, you’ll definitely fall in love with the book’s furry little mascot, Baconnaise.
Profile Image for Suzanne Dix.
1,472 reviews61 followers
January 14, 2016
This book had me laughing out loud early on in the story (the zero and the eight joke nearly did me in) and while the gaffaws were a fewer and far between toward the middle and end any mention of Baconnaise brought on a fit of giggles.

I was so excited to see the author thank the Public Library of Cincinnati in her acknowledgements. I hadn't realized she was a local author. Definitely looking forward to more books from Kate Hattemer! She really nailed the teen dialogue.

Some language, some sexual innuendo. Overall an excellent realistic read for grades 8 and up.
Profile Image for Francesca.
590 reviews2 followers
December 14, 2015
Dear gods, it is going to be near impossible to choose 5 of the best books I read this year.
This has been on my kindle forever and I have only gotten to read it this weekend.
Yet another example that YA is where is at,imo really, for some of the best writing around at the moment.
There's arts and poetry and reality TV and the mythopoeic appropriation of culture in this book - hell it almost made want and re read Ezra Pound.
A highly recommended deliciously intelligent, cleverly written book with layers upon layers to peel off.
Profile Image for Autumn.
1,007 reviews28 followers
May 5, 2014
Long-winded, overly quippy book about clever teens speaking cleverly to one another. 323 pages! AP students are busy reading stuff for class or speculative fiction, not this self-congratulatory nonsense. The first in a coming wave of poorly executed fake John Green?
Profile Image for Anna Juline.
439 reviews
February 15, 2015
But I can also tell you - not from experience but from the glimpses found in daydreams and books and cold hard thought - that once you've recognized a person as a person, you can start to love that person well. It's an awful thing to learn, but it's the best thing in the world to know.
1,351 reviews11 followers
April 21, 2015
When their Minnesota arts school is taken over by a reality television show, four friends use their wits to foment a rebellion and recapture their school. It's nice to see intellectual and active youth going countercultural, analyzing why art is important to them, and the book has humor and heart.
Profile Image for Christie.
934 reviews56 followers
December 5, 2018
Ethan Andrezejczak attends Selwyn Academy, a fine arts high school in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He’s the narrator of Kate Hattemer’s debut YA novel The Vigilante Poets of Selwyn Academy. His life revolves around hanging with his friends Jackson, Elizabeth and the too-cool-for-their-friend-group, Luke, and teaching Jackson’s gerbil, Baconnaise circus tricks. Ethan pines for ballerina Maura and loathes Miki Frigging Reagler from afar. Maura and Miki are two of the stars of the reality show For Art’s Sake (FAS), which is filmed at Selwyn.

They’d chosen a school (our school) and they’d chosen contestants (not me). Every episode, they had some artistic challenge and someone got kicked off. The last person standing would be crowned America’s Best Teen Artist.

Ethan and his friends are convinced that For Art’s Sake is wrecking Selwyn. Luke is especially bent out of shape because the school’s literary arts magazine refuses to publish his commentary about the TV show. “It’s a review, but mostly it’s editorial,” he tells Ethan. “I tried to suppress my snideness. I may not have been totally successful.”

The fact that someone as cool as Luke is anti-FAS is a touchstone for Ethan. When he enters Ethan’s orbit in grade seven, Ethan describes him as

the most popular prepubescent on the planet. He was impossible to dislike. That’s not hyperbole: I tried. I have a strict policy of holding automatic grudges against people everyone likes. But Luke had a mouthful of braces and said “awesome” all the time, and he was totally genuine.

It’s Luke’s idea to roast FAS in a poem. He announces “We need to reclaim our society and values and culture.”

Conquistadors, they thundered in,
And dizzy, we succumbed to spin.
They’ve colonized our native land.
What once was vivid now is bland.
We sing and dance at their command.

– The Contracantos


Luke’s ultimately betrayal is especially hard on Ethan, but it gives him the chance to take some chances and find his own voice.

The Vigilante Poets of Selwyn Academy plumbs the depths of poetry, friendship, loyalty, art, betrayal and growing up. These characters (and I am certainly including Baconnaise) are witty, intelligent and human. They are trying to figure it all out. They don’t always get it right, but Elizabeth asks Ethan if he thinks he’s “the only one who’s amazed and scared and freaked out by how complicated everyone is.”

This is a smart book. I highly recommend it.

Profile Image for Danielle Routh.
751 reviews11 followers
December 12, 2017
I really liked this book at first. I liked it so much, in fact, that I was already mentally preparing a space for it in my overflowing bookcases because I was sure I'd want to keep it.

Now, I'm not so sure. The book started to decline for me after Luke joined the show and acted OOC for the rest of the story. We're given a flimsy excuse of "this is really how he is, you just didn't know him," but it is flimsy and doesn't feel realistic. Calling a book that deals with reality TV unrealistic feels amusing, but as the story wore on, it just became more and more unrealistic and farfetched. So yeah. Not sure if this is a keeper.

I did enjoy the dialogue, Baconnaise the gerbil, and choosing the scrawny, unremarkable nerd as the protagonist and narrator in light of his more talented friends. That, at least, felt realistic and much needed in YA.
Profile Image for Katelyn.
1,273 reviews92 followers
April 30, 2018
Loved it. Fun YA read set in an arts high school in Minneapolis. A reality TV show has contracted with the school to make a season of For Arts Sake, following 19 students/contestants as they compete for college scholarship money. Ethan and his friends are not amused. They are, however, amusing and intelligent characters. The end stretches credibility a bit, but it's still worth reading.

What drew me into this book was seeing a friend's screenshot of one of the characters trying to open a door with "alohamora." I was sold.
Profile Image for Samantha Matherne.
717 reviews60 followers
Shelved as 'abandoned'
September 10, 2022
The official blurb for this book nor SLJ mentioned how obsessed Ethan is with Maura. After reading the first quarter of the book I had to quit. I feel like that obsession makes for a weak protagonist, while I had yet to learn much about any characters in general. The premise sounded interesting and empowering, but Ethan's constant obsession in almost every chapter distracts from the story for me.
Profile Image for Kate Crabtree.
287 reviews10 followers
January 25, 2019
This is a super intelligent and thoughtful book, and it’s use of Pound as a framework is great, although that at times feels stretched a bit thin. It has everything I love- reality tv! Teens at a private school! Art! Yum! But certain details of the book didn’t feel plausible enough for me to stay engaged with the story.
Profile Image for Nicole.
394 reviews41 followers
September 19, 2021
Author is too smart to write YA. Hattemer attended Yale and it shows through the dialogue and content of the book. The characters are super brainy and make cheeky comments that does illicit a smile from the reader every now and then. But I can’t see many young people relating much to these characters or caring about the plot. I am obviously not a young adult but I had zero interest in this book. The story was completely silly and trivial.
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