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First published October 24, 2023
I’m just going to come right out and say it:
The Grinch was misunderstood.
I would never admit it to a single soul. I can barely admit it to myself. But . . .
I’ve thought about this moment.
Thought about the next time I’d see her.
I swallow.
I should not be here.
Doing this.
With her.
But right now I don’t want to be anywhere else, doing anything else, with anyone else.
The rumble of the approaching train captures his attention, and I exhale in relief that my darkest secret remains safely hidden:
That I want a place on his spreadsheet. I always did.
Every last drop of horrible that’s happened today? All on me.
I glance down at the phone in my hand, and for the first time in my life, really truly ask myself:
Is it worth it?
This obsessive fixation on making partner . . . where has it gotten me, exactly?
“Come on. It’ll be an adventure,” Katherine says over her shoulder.
“I think I’ve had enough adventure,” I call after her, even as I start to follow.
I’m a little surprised to find I’m actually smiling. Even more surprised to realize . . . there’s nobody I’d rather be on this adventure with.
“Cuz, I gotta say ,” he continues when neither of us reply. “The two of you together. You’ve got a real . . . what’s the word I’m lookin’ for?”
“Hostility? Animosity? Mutual-loathing?” Katherine provides.
“Energy!” Gorby proclaims. “That’s the word I was thinkin.’ Or was it synergy? You two kind of crackle? You know?”
I do know. I know all too well.