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Cosmic Banditos

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Soon to be a major motion picture starring John Cusack ! Mr. Quark is a down-on-his luck pot-smuggler hiding out in the mountains of Colombia with his dog, High Pockets, and a small band of banditos led by the irascible Jose. Only months before, these three and their fearless associates were rolling in millions in cash and high-grade marijuana, eluding prosecution on “ridiculously false” drug and terrorism charges. But times have quickly grown lean, and to liven up their exile, Jose decides to mug a family of American tourists. Among the spoils are physics texts, which launch Mr. Quark on a side-splitting, boisterous adventure north to California, where he confronts the owner of the books with his own theories on relativity, the nature of the universe, and looking for the meaning of life in all the wrong places….

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1986

About the author

A.C. Weisbecker

3 books37 followers

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5 stars
992 (42%)
4 stars
769 (32%)
3 stars
412 (17%)
2 stars
129 (5%)
1 star
53 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 205 reviews
Profile Image for E. C. Koch.
383 reviews26 followers
November 13, 2017
Cosmic Banditos operates on two narrative levels. The first is a mercifully brief, neo-H. S. Thompson picaresque. It's light on story, and is burdened by an apparent eschewal of outlining or planning. That is, however, only the novel's most superficial layer, as the plot's mock-gonzo gambol through felony and underworld is belied by its deeply theoretical thesis.

It is, despite its length, a robust post-modern creation myth, where the anti-heroic Mr. Quark - Weisbecker's would-be prophet - seeks to proselytize the new physics-cum-new religion to his band of merry criminals. The plot is broken, at the start, into three timelines, as Mr. Quark offers the reader background information leading up to our narrator's exile in the Colombian jungles (from which the novel proper begins). The reader is quickly caught up to the present, as the initial timelines converge from three to two to one, during which we learn that Mr. Quark has been biding his time in exile pouring over the stolen physics textbooks of an American family of tourists. Quark finds such profound meaning in the philosophical implications of quantum mechanics that he sets out on a mission to find the textbooks' owner, a professor at UC Berkeley. Quark's gravitational trek north exposes the novel's pseudo-cult-slash-religious conceit, where the characters serve as easy stand-ins for the archetypal prophet, disciples, and acolytes, with the physics professor functioning as God.

Their inevitable meeting with the unwitting professor - the interlocution through which Quark expects to learn "What It All Means" - is, of course a galactic disappointment, and may be where Weisbecker's didacticism lies. For if Cosmic Banditos' central theme is the standard quest for knowledge, then the "What It All Means" that Quark, and at this point the reader, are in search of is that there is no meaning discernible in the chaos that is the universe. Which, I think, is not so nihilistic as it may sound. Ultimately, as Weisbecker and his book begs us to not take him or it seriously, he and it offer a fairly serious message: Don't take life too seriously. The fervor with which we, the masses, sometimes attempt to decode the maddening banality of our lives - sometimes through religion, sometimes through science, sometimes through literature - is what Weisbecker is commenting on, and he seems to be saying that it's most productive to accept reality for what it is and try to enjoy it. Celebrate its hideousness and beauty, and don't get lost in the searching.
Profile Image for Bandit.
4,774 reviews536 followers
February 1, 2018
Classics are sometimes labeled so purely for their age, cult classics are labeled so for their cult factor, but seldom to denote any particular level of quality. Think about it, scroll down your mental rolodex, most cult classics are essentially crap, but, you know, neat. They have a very specific appeal, special interest, limited market as it were. Self referential, wink wink nudge nudge sort of clever and/or funny at times, a conversation maker, sure, but definitely an acquired taste. And so Cosmic Banditos is very much a cult classic. In all those respects. A world of Bananas, Banditos, Contrabandistas and Dope Lords…and quantum physics. Yes, you read that right. This zany adventure follows a man on the mission to understand the subatomic composition of the fabric of the universe essentially, but in an utterly wacky fashion. And he’s also pretty much consistently high or otherwise elevated by tequila, peyote or really an entire list of fun substances. Basically a chemically altered mind trying to educationally alter itself. The science is real enough, but the book very much reads like it was written high and meant to be read likewise. Not acid trippy per se, but definitely trippy. That wasn’t meant to be a pun, actually, despite the many trips in course of one main quest of the book. The author does warn you about this, sort of in a lengthy foreword, with footnotes. You sort of get the idea of what to expect, but then again…a stubborn and inquisitive mind may choose to persevere. I did. Despite the footnotes...and I despise footnotes. They are sort of standard with nonfiction, but with fiction it’s just too tedious. Meant to be cute, but ends up being just precious. Apparently before its reprint, this one became a collector’s item fetching as much as $300 back when that was a decent amount. Then came digital publishing and I actually got this one for free at some juncture, manly attracted by the title. So if the author was given a chance to add a foreword and afterword, he probably also had the opportunity to clean up some racial and homophobic slurs also and chose not to. Interesting choice. Not to be all tediously PC about this, but seems like such an easy thing to do and all it would take to update the text, which otherwise is just weird enough to work timelessly. Anyway, this was a quick quirky idiosyncrasy of a book and one that definitely has its audience out there. I’m probably not it, but it was just about entertaining enough to merit the time. And the physics were actually kinda fun.
1,154 reviews18 followers
November 29, 2013
weisbecker's book reads like fear & loathing in las vegas as written by douglas adams: a serious inquiry into quantum physics (and many of its branches, each with their own hand in the novel's meager plot) made palatable through the outlaw story and absurdist humor that acts as its engine. it's light on story, but it's loveable and somehow incredibly honest in its interests and its depictions and illustrations of those interests. ultimately the conclusion our narrator (and weisbecker come to) reflects on postmodernism as well as quantum theory: it won't quite get you there, and trying to explain it is good intellectual exercise but the pursuit of its truth will perhaps lead you to a great emptiness. douglas adams would have never come to that conclusion, but hunter thompson would have...
Profile Image for Noah.
150 reviews
September 8, 2015
Funny, gonzo, insane, totally ridiculous, completely implausible, laugh-out-loud...

The wild claims of the author, especially with regard to what's based in reality and what isn't, really add to the dizzying pace and insanity of this cult classic.

The author makes a point about theoretical physics under the guise of drug-addled partying and hijinks. Cosmic Banditos is, if you really think about it, a much more accessible (and much less impressed with itself) Dancing Woo Li Masters in its exploration of meaning and randomness. Nothing is more true to the nature of random and chaos and entropy...than a gang of coke-addled traffickers and lunatics. When is Robert going to get mad and toss a grenade? Is there a pattern? Does the pattern of insane letter-writing work? On and on, this group of criminals is the very definition of the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics.
Profile Image for Adrian.
41 reviews
March 18, 2014
If someone loans you this book, steal it and leave the country. I searched for this for years and now have an autographed copy. One of The Best. Ever.
Profile Image for Sean Daley.
37 reviews1 follower
February 21, 2009
so i read this in like 2 days (as it turns out, if i get the right position at work, i can read for like 5 hours a day provided i dont mind interuptions). as a straight contrabandista tale, it lags in overall plot arc when compared to "smokescreen" which in my oppinion is the penultimate smugglers tale. but this differs from smokescreen for a few reasons. this one is a work of fiction (making it by definition, less believable) and two it has a subplot line dealing with subatiomic physics. which is a topic i find extrememly interesting. anything with relation to unified feild theory and theoretical physics always piques my interest. all in all a wholey excelent yarn. i highly reccomend it
71 reviews9 followers
December 27, 2007
Good book most of the way through, but ends pretty weak. An odd mixture of De Bernieres, HS Thompson, and Pynchon, n'est pas?

What did I learn from this book?

1. Always carry a grenade in my chest pocket.
2. Keep an airplane on stand-by.
3. Don't allow friends to have firearms.
4. Never go up against a sicilian when death is on the line.

Okay #4 I learned elsewhere ... but it is still an important lesson.

Profile Image for Gabriele Pallonetto.
117 reviews132 followers
September 14, 2019
Come si possa spacciare una robaccia del genere come libro io ancora non me lo spiego...
Probabilmente l'autore avrà scritto questo libro sotto l'effetto delle sostanze usate dai protagonisti di questo romanzo.
E questo tutto sommato ci può anche stare.
Ma coloro che lo hanno assurto a "romanzo comico cult anni 80" probabilmente stavano peggio di lui! 😂
Io ho un ottimo senso dell'umorismo ma questo è tutto fuorché un romanzo comico.
C'è una bella differenza fra "comicità" e "stupidità"!
Non mi va di spendere altre parole su questa boiata colossale anche perché voglio farvi provare la vertiginosa ebrezza di buttare 18 euro e farvi leggere un libro profondo tanto quanto il volantino della Conad.
10 reviews1 follower
June 14, 2010
I described this book to a friend as Hunter S. Thompson plus Quantum Physics and I stand by that. This was a really surprising book from the cover: I expected it to be some strange sci-fi romp with a Wild West theme, like Douglas Adams's version of the Alamo. Instead, it's the story of a drug runner lying low in Colombia who comes across a text on quantum mechanics that changes his worldview. It's funny, doesn't take itself too seriously, interesting, and full of puns and comedy. I immediately lent it to a friend to read after finishing it.
Profile Image for Evan.
48 reviews
May 16, 2008
The back-story of the author's disappearance and the book's cult following made book that much more interesting to read. Nothing i can really relate to, but very well written and humorous and and enjoyably quick read. I quite enjoyed it. Not the best book and not the book for everyone, but i can certainly see how it gained the cult following it has. I would definitely read it again on a lark or pass it off to friends i think would appreciate its outrageousness.
Profile Image for Matt Shaw.
259 reviews6 followers
February 3, 2018
I first read this upon its original release in 1986, and loved the way it fit into my up-in-the-air life at the time. Funny, absurd, Hunter Thompson-meets-Douglas Adams irreverence. I re-read it recently and loved the way it brightened my more staid life with flashes of youth and craziness. It seems to come with its own Gonzo soundtrack as my brain spins along with the "tale" (such as it is). This seems to be the Trip For All Seasons, at least to me.
3 reviews
February 1, 2018
I've read this book multiple times over the years. Each and every time it's an enjoyable read.

The characters are hilarious and the whole absurd premise is absolutely captivating. Trying to describe the plot of the book is almost impossible, but reading it for yourself is certainly a worthwhile endeavor.

The characters alone are worth the price of the book.
Profile Image for  Alex Cosmic Banditos.
1 review2 followers
August 10, 2017
My favourite book of all time. First read a photocopy in 1991 and have gone on to buy many copies for friends. I am currently doing some research on the book and the author and looking for any comments, thoughts and observations readers may have so please get in touch
Profile Image for Scott Cooley.
1 review1 follower
August 19, 2016
Adventure that would be a great movie someday, but it may take several parts or volumes to cover all this content, depending on things and stuff. A very exiting read if you are in your 20s after having had some exposure to some faction of a bohemian lifestyle. Also, it helps if your girlfriend recommends it to you because she read it after her older brother recommended it to her, especially if she's learned enough from her older brothers' mistakes to avoid them herself, yet still finds them romantic enough to recommend to her current romantic partner whom she knows will similarly have an appreciation for. Overall, while reading, you can imagine finding yourself in these situations and relating (since you loved learning about physics and philosophy and drug experimentation), yet possibly taking different courses of action, while understanding the protagonist's choices. If you want to live vicariously through the tales of someone unafraid to thumb their nose at society / rebel against authority, and smart enough to understand risk but ballsy enough to take it anyway, you will love it! Some people have a feeling they will survive despite obstacles, odds, and detractors...and do indeed survive in part because of that attitude. We all have a little of this in us.
Profile Image for Michael Herrman.
Author 1 book15 followers
April 27, 2012
This is a yarn. It's over the top, but if this story had pretended to be anything more than a philosophical suppository giving spirit and form to a rudimentary course in quantum theory, if it had tried to take itself seriously, it would have been mediocre at best.

Sure, I smiled, even laughed a few times, and yeah, I kept turning pages to see where he was going with the madness, but it was the point at which he arrived at the point before he set out for the point that was never really there that made it all worthwhile; that point at which skeptics risk a run into nihilism and existentialists might be inclined to sigh and ask "yeah, but so what?"

It's better than a lot of humor out there. It has meat and it has bones. It shambles around and it gulps tequila. Unless you already understand the basics of quantum theory, and even if you do but have only apprehended them in some dry, multiple choice sort of way, you'll probably walk away from this book with an expanded perspective.





Profile Image for Jason Allen Amelio.
Author 1 book6 followers
November 11, 2013
I don't know what to say about this book.

Quantum physics and gun running...I mean come on.

A friend of mine passed me this book in the late 90's and it blew my freaking mind. As the internet became a thing we found out just how rare the book was. He had stolen his copy from the library (the way I am sure a large number of people ended up owning this book before the re release).

Once it came out again a few years later I was quick to buy a copy of my own and found even more to love the second time.

A couple of years back they put out an audio version and while I recommend it to any fan of the book I would not recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it once already.

All in all this is one of those books that is truly one of a kind and should be read by anyone with a good sense of humor at least once!
7 reviews
March 15, 2016
I bought and read this book when it came out in 86 and I loved it!! I got married in 88 and told my wife she had to read it but I couldn't find my copy, then about 2 months later I saw a copy for sale at TG&Y (remember them?) any way it was on the bargain rack for a buck! I of course bought it and reread it then the wife read it (she loved it) and we put it up then a few years later I decided I wanted to read it again and I couldn't find it. My wife said she would just buy another copy on this new site Ebay but after checking we discovered the cheapest copy we could find was going for over 100$! Needless to say we tore the house APART!! in a week or so we had found both copies and reread them then promptly sold both on ebay for a little over 100$ each! Yeah I love this book!! I laugh until tears are rolling every time I read it! (I have it on kindle now)
Profile Image for Lavande.
37 reviews9 followers
January 2, 2008
This book came highly recommended but I found it, at most, mildly entertaining. I don't know...maybe I've just read too many books about white men using drugs, sex, philosophy and racial irreverence to stumble towards enlightenment. Plus -- sorry to be so sensitive -- I was not particularly amused by the Black character's runaway slave dialect or the prolific use of derogatory names for gays and Mexicans. Perhaps the slurs wouldn't have bothered me so much if the author had anything new or interesting to say but 7th grade physics jacked up on coke, mescal, and hubris just isn't enough.


5 reviews
January 23, 2014
I read this as a weird teenager and found it to be the funniest book I ever remember reading. The craziness of the story - a drug-runner in hiding who goes on a journey of knowledge to understand the meaning of the universe through quantum physics, just nuts.

Stupidly I lent the book to a friend and never saw it again. I would definitely re-read
Profile Image for Kaplumbağa Felsefecisi.
452 reviews73 followers
March 17, 2016
Kuantum fiziğine merak salmış bir Bandito için hayata "felsefe" arayışı.
Olup biteni kozmik ve atomlar dünyasına göre yorumlayarak şaşırmaca oynamak ve oynatmak çabası.
Her şey olup bittikten sonra şaşıranın yazar mı, okur mu olduğu ikilemini yaşatan bir kitap.
Profile Image for Danny Langford.
13 reviews20 followers
June 1, 2009
This is quite simply a under-read masterpiece. Boasting equal measures of Hunter s. Thompson full blown Gonzo, and Stephen R Hawking dialects on quantum mechanics and chaos theory. While quantum mechanics may not usually qualify as light reading, throw in about a hundred gallons of tequila, a south-of-the-boarder band of drug running banditos and you get the wildest ride and perhaps the best exploration of just how strange and chaotic the quantum realm of sub-atomic particles really is!

For many years this book was very rare and read mostly by hardcore geeks, physics majors, undergraduate engineers, and was passed around and promoted by word of mouth. By the time the early internet started to make it easy to push a book to phenomenon status there simply were not enough copies in circulation to meet the demand. I read it as an undergrad physics major at Tennessee Technological University in the early nineties. Loaned to me my a friend I looked for a copy for years. In the early days of internet growth, it was trading with rate book sellers between $150 & $300 a copy. The enigmatic author finally came out of seclusion, and despite the rumors that he either didn't exist or was a hundred different famous persons ghost writing this esoteric classic, he found out his still obscure book had become an geek "in crowd" rite of passage. He republished the novel and it has since gone on to become a touchstone Librium for understanding chaos theory and uncertanty.
Profile Image for woshi.
56 reviews2 followers
December 9, 2020
kitaba başlarken hep bir acaba okumasam mı, zaman kaybı mı olur diyordum ama bir günde bitti nasıl sonuna geldim anlamadım. yani suç çetesi ve kuantum fiziğinin bir arada olduğu kaç şey gördük ki? well, iyi ki görmüşüz bu kitap sayesinde
Profile Image for Mehmet.
Author 2 books450 followers
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January 18, 2022
Ayrıntı Yayınları’nın yeraltı edebiyatı serisinin favori parçalarından.
5 reviews
August 2, 2017
This is one of my all-time favorite books. Back in my contrabandisto days it lead me into "The Dancing Wu-Li Masters" and I almost became a physicist - but didn't want to do the math.
Profile Image for Ezgi.
325 reviews21 followers
December 12, 2023
Kozmik Haydutlar kahkahalarla okunacak bir kitap. Yazım dili, esprileri ve konusu çok komikti. Uyuşturucu kaçakçılığı yapan banditomuz Jose ve bandito dostları bir hırsızlık yapar. Eşyaların arasında kuantum fiziği kitapları da bulur. İlginç banditomuz Jose kitaplardan kurtulmak yerine okumaya başlar.

Bir kaçakçının kuantum fiziğini anlamlandırmaya çalışması başlı başına komik bir durum. Öğrendikçe bazen de öğrenemedikçe hayatı yorumlama şekli daha da komik oluyor. Jose hayatına artık daha farklı bakıyor. Yaptığı yorumlar hem komik hem düşündürücüydü. Uyuşturucu kaçakçısı oldukları için de hayatlarında aksiyon hiç eksik olmuyor. Bunu kuantumla, entropiyle açıklaması okuduğum en komik şeylerden biriydi. Yazar fiziği de felsefeyi de iyi kullanmış. İlgisi olmayan bir insan nasıl düşünür, neler ilgisini çeker iyi bir şekilde saptamış.

“Ters gidebilecek her şey zaten ters gitmiştir ve sonsuza dek de öyle devam edecektir.”
Profile Image for Federico Tommasi Zardini.
154 reviews22 followers
December 30, 2021
Divertente a tratti, questa storia racconta di un folle signore della droga che vive la vita secondo i dettami dell’assurdo e della casualità che riscontra nella fisica subatomica. Mr Quark, il protagonista, non sta fermo un attimo ed è circondato da bandidos costantemente alterati da mezcal, tequila, erba o cocaina e dal grilletto, a volte la granata, facile.
L’ossessione per il microscopico cresce e diventa uno strumento di interpretazione del macroscopico sempre più importante, fino alla deriva più allucinatoria.

Come ho già detto, è divertente a tratti, questo tono alla Paura e delirio a Las Vegas diventa piatto col passare delle pagine vista l’assenza di un pericolo vero e proprio che possa davvero mettere nei guai i personaggi.

Da leggere se si vogliono fare due risate o se piace la letteratura demenziale, ma non aspettativi grandi cose.

P.s. la prefazione stranamente è tra le parti più interessanti di tutto il libro.
Profile Image for Heather.
39 reviews6 followers
June 16, 2020
This book is.... certainly another example of something.

Feels like a choose-your-own-adventure where the person choosing is a) not you and b) hilariously intoxicated on a molotov cockatil's worth of drugs and tequila. Also, you learn some theories of quantum physics.

I read this book so I could share the cultural marker with my sisters, which probably contributed to how I felt about it dragging on for the first three quarters of the book, but when the narration of the past finally caught up to the present (or the narration of the present slowed down, either one), things got very exciting very quickly.

Life is but a dream?
Profile Image for M..
132 reviews
January 14, 2014
Sevgili arkadaşlar, eğer kitap zevkimiz sizinkiyle uyuşmuyorsa bu kitabı hemen okumalısınız. Çünkü o kadar absürd ki sonuna doğru her sayfadan bir cümle okuduğumu itiraf etmeliyim. Vakit ve nakit kaybı olmaktan başka bir şey değil. Zaten önsözünde yazar, kitabı isterseniz iade edip başka bişey alın, diyor. Bunu gerçekten düşünmedim değil.

Bana hiçbir şey katmadı. Hüzünlendirmedi. Güldürmedi. Bomboş bir kitap. Nesini abarttıklarını anlamadım. Kuantumla da uzaktan yakından ilgisi yok.
Profile Image for Michele.
188 reviews22 followers
July 12, 2014
Mantengo le quattro stelle, e' un'opera molto divertente e piu' profonda di quanto non appaia a prima vista. Le rocambolesche avventure del protagonista e dei suoi amici Bandidos sono davvero esilaranti. Il dialogo del protagonista con il lettore (attraverso il metodo del cd. "metaromanzo") offre ironici e interessanti spunti di riflessione. I difetti? Un po' sbilanciato in alcuni passaggi, per questo non gli ho dato cinque stelle. Lo consiglio!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 205 reviews

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