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How to Kill a Rock Star

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"Funny, tender, edgy. I wanted the love story to go on forever."—Joan Johnston, bestselling author of No Longer a Stranger

Written in the wonderfully honest, edgy, and hilarious voice she perfected in God-Shaped Hole, Tiffanie DeBartolo shines in a passionate new story of music, love, and sacrifice.


Eliza Caelum, a young music journalist, is finally getting her footing in New York when she meets Paul Hudson, a talented songwriter and lead singer of the band Bananafish. They soon realize they share more than a reverence for rock music and plunge headlong into love.

When Bananafish is signed by a big corporate label, and Paul is on his way to becoming a major rock star, Eliza's past forces her to make a heartbreaking decision that might be the key to Paul's sudden disappearance.

A layered and emotional look into the world of music, this raw summer read will resonate with readers who loved Daisy Jones & the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid.

438 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 1, 2005

About the author

Tiffanie DeBartolo

5 books1,831 followers
Tiffanie DeBartolo's most recent novel is Sorrow. Her previous novels include God Shaped Hole (2002), How To Kill a Rock Star (2005), and the graphic novel Grace: Based on the Jeff Buckley Story (2019). She also wrote and directed the film Dream for an Insomniac (1996) starring Jennifer Aniston and Ione Skye.
Tiffanie is the founder and CEO of San Francisco Bay Area record label Bright Antenna, whose roster of artists include The Wombats, Wilderado, Sports Team, and Prep.
Tiffanie is also the cofounder of the ShineMaker Foundation, a charity organization dedicated to supporting human rights, women's rights, education, animal welfare, and the environment.
In her spare time, she is a runner, hiker, yogi, world-traveler, cook, poet, and artist.
She lives in Mill Valley with her husband Scott Schumaker and her two Irish Wolfhounds, Dipsea and Kazoo.

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5 stars
6,750 (43%)
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3 stars
2,622 (16%)
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442 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,090 reviews
Profile Image for Colleen Hoover.
Author 108 books724k followers
December 8, 2017
This book is fiction.
If you buy it for real tips on how to actually murder a musician, you will be disappointed.
I ended up loving it, anyway. But I'll have to search a different genre for an actual how-to guide. That's a little annoying.
Profile Image for Tarryn Fisher.
Author 30 books25.2k followers
August 28, 2012
"I decided that F train stood for slow fucking chug a lug train"

My favorite line in the book. Kind of a shallow choice when you have such a buffet of great one liners and philosophical soul shakers. Raise your hand if you know of a character that can beat Paul "goddamn" Hudson. You can't, you ass. You can't. Don't even try. I was so bonded with Eliza that for three hundred and two pages I lived in her paper world, and kissed her rock-stars, and rode on her slow fucking chug a lug train. Man this lady can write. It's always a good book day when a deep, philosophy loving soul, writes fiction. Holy mother of pearl. I am so sad that it's over. I am so smitten with DeBartolo and her brain. She doesn't just write a story, she pumps blood into her characters and then expects us to go on living without them when she decides to be a music exec. Damn you, Tiffanie.

I have to go, my pancreas is burning.

Over and out.

P.S. I'd give this book six stars if I could. How often have you heard me say that?
Profile Image for Rosalinda *KRASNORADA*.
268 reviews537 followers
October 3, 2013

***FIVE GODDAMN STARS - With some 'milkshake secret recipe' on top!***

'Dreams can change histories and songs can alter destinies'




How do you review a book like HTKARS??? Seriously, if you guys have read this gem, can you let me know how to do it without embarrassing myself?

Let’s try… I had seen this book on GR for a while and I always thought it was just another book about a Rock Star so I wasn’t really interested, not my cuppa anymore. But then, some of the best buddies ever told me to read it. They promised this was something else, different, way better than any other Rock Star book so I decided to give it a try. I was reluctant at the beginning, I thought it was just one more love story and that’s it but there was something else. For starters, the writing style is so damn special, like reading poetry. Just plain amazing! So I kept reading and I soon started to fall in love with the characters.

I promised myself I am not going to spoil anything in this story, just gonna tell you guys what’s this one about but that’s it. I am just gonna beg you all to read it and experience this by yourselves.

This book tells us the story of Eliza, a young woman who is kinda lost and doesn’t know what to do with her life. She’s passionate about music and after a very lucky encounter she gets a good job that will change her life forever. And that’s why she crosses paths with Paul. That’s it, I am not gonna talk about the story anymore. I know that might not be very attractive but I hope I can convince you with my pics and with some random thoughts that this book awakened in me.



Have you ever wished you were somebody’s Sharona??? Not literally, but have you ever wished you were THAT special person for someone? Well, I have.



People tend to think that because you are in a relationship everything is unicorn and roses. People tend to think like is black and white but guess what? Life is also GREY. One day you might think your life is perfect the way it is but then one day you might want to change things. And there’s no one to blame, you just know you or your half need a change, right?

And then sometimes when you are down and you think life is not smiling back at you, there is a person who you think is just one more person but they might become something else.



Back to the book. Do you know what I loved about this story? There is no good ones and bad ones. They were all HUMAN. And yes, we human make mistakes, it’s not the end of the world. I am TIRED of super perfect heroes and super bad antiheroes. NO! Life is not like that. Some authors need to learn from Tiffanie DeBartolo as just a few authors made me believe in characters the way she made me believe in these ones.



And then, there are moments in life when you just can’t help but accept your feelings, even if you know you are gonna get hurt because it doesn’t matter, you just need to feel, to love, to give… no matter what.



And yes, we all LIE sometimes. What? Have you never ever lied to the person you love? I did. And it sucks and you hate yourself for doing that (I am not talking about cheating just in case you guys are freaking out) but you just did it and even though is not okay you have to deal with what you’ve done, whether is right or wrong.



I know, my review does not make any sense at all, right? I seriously can’t say anything else because I want you guys to read this without knowing anything about the story. It was so goddamn special that I will re-read this one soon because I already miss them.

P.S. Loring, I & LOVE & YOU. That is all. I wish I could spend the rest of my life touching the ‘Y’ of your YALE pants.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

June 24, 2013

This book RUINED me, FOR*FREAKING*EVER!

Over.

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Profile Image for Baba  .
859 reviews3,964 followers
July 23, 2015
5+++ rocked-my-world stars.*****Review completed July 16, 2013

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F@ck. I wanna quote the whole goddamn book! Sorry for the language but Paul rubbed off on me. Loved, loved it! Read this book, it's beyond A-mazing! A thankyou goes out to Geri who accepted my spontaneous offer to do a buddy read with me. <3

"Is he cute?" I asked her.
"Cute? If you like the dysfunctional lunatic, male-slut vibe, sure."

"(…) But I'm almost thirty and my day job is folding shirts at the Gap. Have you seen my room? I'm not messy. I'm rebelling against folding."

"Why don't we take the subway?"
He came to a smashing halt in the middle of the sidewalk. "Subway?" he said, as if I'd invited him to walk through the gates of hell. "I don't ride anything that goes underground. I'll be subterranean enough when I'm dead."


Ok, let’s get down to business. I was a tiny bit shocked when I saw the ebook's price. I paid 11.62 euro and I must say it was worthy of every goddamn cent. Don't ask me, but I would do it again.

This book…this goddamn, fan-fucking-tastic book will leave more than mere footprints on your heart. I don't want to beat around the bush. It crushed me, it cut so deep that in a metaphorical sense it's going to leave scars on my body that won't ever go away anymore. It seized my mind, my heart and my soul. And I'm goddamn proud of it. So, this $£&%*ç%"+£§ book bled into my every pore and will stay there. Now and forever. How to Kill a Rock Star opened the ground I was walking on and swallowed me whole. Oh, what a great place to be and I don't want to come back anytime soon. Imagine, if every book I'm reading would be so fantastic I think I would die from a sudden cardiac arrest. It would be too much to withstand. I 'closed' the book and felt totally euphoric. Why does Tiffanie not have a huge backlist? I sure will be reading everything she is going to publish in the future. Please give me more of this Awesomesauce!


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Written in a very candid, articulate, unapologetic and hilarious voice, HtKaRS is a passionate and probably also very honest look at the music business. I'm not an expert at all, but I *think* it reads realistically. Tiffanie DeBartolo delivered a mighty fine knockout. Absolutely eclectic characters, great plot, spellbinding narrative and dialogue were the perfect recipe to make me devour this terrific story. It is one of the best books I have ever read and it is prime entertainment. Sublime. Superb. Divine. I'm going to run out of superlatives, for sure. Anyway, you get the gist how I feel about it. The book title is very apt, too, and provides plenty of thoughtful connotations. HtKaRS is about music and the whole shebang and mechanisms that surround the business. It’s about love and chasing dreams. But it is also about making mistakes, forgiveness, overcoming fears and coming to terms with who you are and what you want out of life.

"No one commits suicide because they want to die."
"Then why do they do it?"
"Because they want to stop the pain."


I loved Paul, the self-centered, adorable and witty ass. Without a doubt I loved every goddamn pearl of wisdom that came out of his goddamn mouth. As a side note: ‘goddamn’ is Paul's favorite adjective. Paul talking to his "friend", the tape recorder was another wonderful aspect of the story.

I must admit, however, that Loring was my favorite character in this story. Right off the bat I had a crush on him. Loring simply stole my heart. Honestly, I
Loring is a wonderful character. A highly educated, somewhat shy, successful yet humble musician and human being, though his father thinks he doesn't have "it" in him. His dad should have been very proud of his achievements nonetheless, and he should have given him the love and approval that he truly deserved. Despite his success and his father being a living legend, Loring has both feet planted firmly on the ground and It was very charming, authentic and funny!

These clever goddamn people. They really know how to play a guy. But holy Hell, their biggest skill is raping you, all the while making you think you're having consensual sex.


I got the Statue of Liberty right, but thought Brooklyn was Queens, and mistook Staten Island for New Jersey.
"I'm not very good with directions," I said.
"Not good?" Paul laughed hysterically. "You're geographically retarded."


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Paul has integrity as all get out and it's a very admirable trait, however, I think he is not made Granted, he was a stubborn genius but still. He is a difficult, complex and very demanding character. Having said this, he made up a lot with his scathing and deadpan humor which I absolutely loved!



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Eliza…Eliza…Eliza...She didn't make me happy. Considering that she has a necrophobia

For what it's worth, I think happiness is a fleeting condition, not a permanent goddamn state of mind. I've learned that if you chase after moments of bliss here and there, sometimes those moments will sustain you through the shit." He paused to pick a piece of tobacco off his tongue. "Personally, I don't like inherently happy people. I don't trust them. I think there's something seriously wrong with anyone who isn't at least a little let down by the world."


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It's pretty simple, really, when you think about it: We all start out as little fishes in our daddy's pants, and we all end up a Thanksgiving feast for the worms, and in the meantime we have to find a couple good reasons to give a fuck.


Yeah, Paul is so eloquent. ;-)


This book is also food for thought. It's nothing new that life in general is mainly about choices and love is a lot about timing because you have to be at the right place at the right time. There will always be plenty of what ifs and what might have beens, but that's no good. It is what it is, and it's best to get over our regrets. So, go out and find someone who has the sky in their eyes and touch the goddamn sky. Over.

Reach out and touch faith.




P.S. There is no explicit sex in this story.
Profile Image for Karen.
226 reviews1 follower
November 3, 2012
According to my friends and family, I read a ridiculous amount of books. They find it hysterical (maybe frightening) that I carry my kindle in my purse with me everywhere I go (you know just in case I might find a few minutes to read here and there). Because I do read so much I am constantly being asked “what are you reading” or “read anything amazing lately”? I hate these questions because half the time I am reading my smexy books and I feel a little embarrassed to share the titles (especially when my dentist or someone I barely know asks me) plus they somehow feel private…personal. I also don’t like the pressure of recommending books to people when I read such a specific genre and truly don’t branch out much from my drug of choice.

After reading HTKRS I realize I now have an answer to that pesky question. This book is THE BOOK that crosses over and can be so many things to so many different people. THIS BOOK is the book that I will proudly share the title with the stranger sitting next to me on an airplane. THIS BOOK is that book that you’ll always remember; a book that after you have finished reading it has left a little mark on you…a favorite. Now for the meat:

What can I possibly say about this book that hasn’t already been said? It is in a word: moving.

In more words it is: beautifully written, thought provoking, heartbreaking, inspiring, funny, frustrating at times and absolutely 100% original.

Bottom line, it is a book filled with poetry about life and the choices we make.

I went into this book blind (which I am realizing is the best way to go). My GR friend, Andrea sent me a little note kindly asking me to make this my next read. She had just finished it and wanted to discuss it (and now I realize purge her emotions about the beauty of this book to someone who would understand how she was feeling). By the time I hit 25% I realized that I had never experienced a book like this…ever. I found myself rereading lines, memorizing them so I wouldn’t forget their meaning. I felt like I should be writing the words down on notecards so I could stick them to my bathroom mirror to later help guide me when life’s challenges start bubbling up to the surface. By the end of the book, I was feeling (a breathless type of feeling) so much that I had to slow down so I could drink everything in and not waste a single word.

Because my HTKRS experience was my own and not influenced by someone else’s review, I will not go into details about the story; I can’t stand the thought of ruining this experience for anyone. I will say that this books sticks to your ribs and will stay with you. It will MOVE you; it will make you open your eyes and think about things differently. Even if it is for just a minute, it will be worth it.

“Reach out touch faith”

Over.

Profile Image for Natalie.
287 reviews71 followers
March 1, 2023
Music journalist Eliza moves to New York and falls for talanted lead singer Paul who is trying to make it big with his band Bananafish. Not your ordinary love triangle.

This is my third five stars read ever, and it couldn't be more well deserved! if I were to describe this How to Kill a Rock Star, it would probably be with the words pure magic. I had a magical feeling stirring in my body that wanted to get out through this entire book. Like I said, it's sheer, pure brilliance. I don't know how to properly describe my madly, crazy, insane love for How to Kill a Rock Star. If you could have a book as a soulmate, then this would be my own personal matchIt felt like every page was written for me personally. The writing just fucking blew me away! Deep, profound, smart, poetic, witty, raw, honest, beautiful-you name it. Tiffanie DeBartolo has an unique voice. It gave me seriously 'hallelujah moments."Not to mention shivers of perfection.

Her talent is rare and I'm so in love with her books. It's a gooddamn tragedy that she's only written two (2) books. Both of them has been pure magic to read. Tiffanie is in my top 2 of all time favorite authors. And that says something since I read only two of her books. I pray to her and worship at her altar. That so much I want, need a new book from her. No, the world needs a new book from her.
If you aren't already reading her books, seriously! what's wrong with you? We all need a little bit of Tiffanie-magic in this world....She first showed us her magic with God Shaped Hole and made me fall insanely in love with Jacob Grace. With How to Kill a Rock Star she really won me over for life! HTKAR is not your ordinary cheesy rock star romance, nor your typical book either. It's unique, one of a kind. The plot is amazingly simple.

Music journalist Eliza moves to New York and falls for the talented lead singer for up and coming-rock band Bananafish. One thing I loved the most was the feel of New York. Not the Upper East Side-kind of New York, but the real New York. The New York with crappy apartments and a genuine, ordinary, simple feeling where musicians tries to get their big brake. This book made me feel more than most books combined. Tiffanie is a genius!I have such an author crush on her. It broke my heart, crushed my soul, I cried a river. I didn't want to continue, I needed a breather more than one time. This was a life altering read for me. My emotions were all over the place. I loved it beyond words can tell.

The characters-unbelievable freaking perfection!!! Paul, Loring, Eliza,-I love y'all. But Paul... I feel in love with your personality, your passion, your mind, you goddamn soul! Your point of view is the best I've ever read from a male POV. Goddamn amazing!!! Loring-what can I say about you? Can you be anymore perfect? Seriously? Can you? If it wasn't for Paul, I'd be heads over heals in love with you. What two unforgettable, amazing, wonderful characters Tiffanie has given us. It's something special with her character development we don't usually see, something deep, something real. I guess you have to read it for yourself to understand.

"I was only a child when I learned how to fly
I wanted to touch the colors of the bleeding sun and then I fell from the sky
You never saw me again not even when I returned you never noticed my broken heart or how my wings were burned
But if they tell you they saw me do a swan dive off that bridge
Remember I've always been more afraid to die than I ever was to live
And on the day I disappear
You'll all forget I was ever here
I'll float around from coast to coast
And sing about how you made me a ghost".


Douglas J Blackman.

It had so many 'bigger than life moments,' I want to quote whole sections, but I won't do that here, so you just have to read the book for yourself to experience the magic. Not only is this a great tribute to music, it also has the most incredible love story. I never wanted it to end. Literally never...sigh...it's the least cheesiest ever. Or less cliche.It was like X and X dna pulled them towards each other. One of the most perfect love stories I've ever read. No matter what problems people may or may not have with the characters vs the story, it should be recognised for its sheer brilliance and magic!!!! If you're not convinced to read it by now, I'm at a loss. I want to convince the world to read this gem, this treasure. This has to be the most underrated books of all time.I want to yell my love from the top of my lungs from rooftops!!! To share the love!!!

So to sum up-sheer brilliance, magical, fucking perfection!!!
Profile Image for Stacia (the 2010 club).
1,045 reviews4,050 followers
December 4, 2013
I'd shed my blood to touch the pearls that kiss your ears.
I'd sell my soul to see you fly.

Brilliant. This book rocked my world yet again. I couldn't help but cry all over and I knew what was going to happen.

I still can't write a review. Over a year later and a second read behind me (and about half of the book highlighted with quotes - I am not kidding...there is no book I have highlighted more than this one, yet I can't seem to bring myself to want to share the quotes because they are so personal and only mean the most when read in context) and I still can't write a review. Tiffanie DeBartolo dragged me through every possible emotion with this book. She makes me want to take everything I've ever written and throw it away because I'll never be able to do it like this.

She is just like her character Paul. Her talent is overwhelming; her words poetic and heart-wrenching. Yet the world doesn't get to see it because hardly anyone knows about this author - only a few of us have have the pleasure of experiencing her brilliance.

What exactly is this book, you ask?

It's about music. It's about the fight to survive. It's about love, betrayal, heartache, loss, and acceptance. It's about fear and taking risks. This is not literary fiction and this is not romance - don't ask me to put the book into a genre because there is no way to classify HTKARS. It's indie and it's raw and it's a story that wrecked me.

*First Read : original blur-fest 2011*

Paul, you intrigue me so far...

Paul smiled faintly, but all of a sudden he looked sad. "If I could do something else besides make music, believe me, I would. I've been here for over eight years, playing in different bands, trying to put together the right bunch of guys, trying to make a living doing the only thing I care about.

But I'm almost thirty and my day job is folding shirts at the Gap. Have you seen my room? I'm not messy. I'm rebelling against folding."


HOLY EFF YOU SEE KAY. I should have been sleeping, instead I was sobbing. Apparently, other people saw what was coming and weren't as shocked as I was.
Profile Image for Mo.
1,384 reviews2 followers
September 11, 2013
WARNING, MY REVIEW IS SPOILER FREE BUT SOME REVIEWS DO NOT APPEAR TO BE SO IF YOU WANT TO GO INTO THIS BOOK BLIND I WOULD ADVISE ABOUT NOT READING OTHER REVIEWS ... unless the review says SPOILER FREE.

This was me yesterday …


so a few friends threw a few suggestions at me about what to read next.... this was it!


“It sounds silly, I know. But for me, the power of music rests in its ability to reach inside and touch the places where the deepest cuts lie.
Like a benevolent god, a good song will never let you down.
And sometimes, when you're trying to find your way, one of those gods actually shows up and gives you directions.”




I have seen the Big Shots – Springsteen, The Eagles, Leonard Cohen, The Beach Boys, U2, but I have also seen the ….


... those guys struggling, the support acts, the ones that come on first and they know that most of the crowd are not there to see them. I have seen artists like Simone Felice who is amazing play to a small crowd in a pokey upstairs bar-room in Brussels. I have stood in the pissing rain listening to crap bands who have to lug their own equipment around and you just know they will never make the big time. I have trekked for three hours with my son to stand in a field in the blazing sun to watch bands like Gaslight Anthem and Arcade Fire who live for the day when they will sell out Madison Square Gardens. Never had the chance to see the legendary NICK DRAKE who died way before his time….

The music industry is tough, no doubt about it.

And to all you record moguls out there who only care about the mula and don’t give a shit about the music …


Loved all the music references throughout this book.

TELL ME WHAT YOU LISTEN TO AND I'LL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE ...



Great name for a Band...


Totally got her apprehension to flying - hate it myself!


I swear to God there must be a thousand quotes I would use from this book but there are just too many there to try. I really felt like I was on an ...

throughout most of this book!

“Did you really want to die?"
"No one commits suicide because they want to die."
"Then why do they do it?"
"Because they want to stop the pain.”



“I've got my girl and my guitar, and for me that's enough.”


“Break my heart? Is that what you just said? I have news for you; you didn't break my heart. My heart's fine. My heart's in the best shape of its life. You know what you did to me? You took an AK-47 and blew my soul open.”



“There are things we never tell anyone. We want to but we can’t. So we write them down. Or we paint them. Or we sing about them. It’s our only option. To remember. To attempt to discover the truth. Sometimes we do it to stay alive. These things, they live inside of us. They are the secrets we stash in our pockets and the weapons we carry like guns across our backs. And in the end we have to decide for ourselves when these things are worth fighting for, and when it’s time to throw in the towel. Sometimes a person has to die in order to live. Deep down, I know you know this. You just can’t seem to do anything about it. I guess it’s a sad fact of life that some of us move on and some of us inevitably stay behind. Only in this case I’m not sure which one of us is doing which. You were right about one thing though. It’s not fate. It’s a choice. And who knows, maybe we’ll meet again someday, somewhere up above all the noise. Until then, when you think of me, try and remember the good stuff. Try and remember the love.”


If you don't shed a tear at around 83%, there is no hope for you ....


It was too early for me to have some Vodka but I really felt like a smoke…. And I haven’t smoked in over 25 years.





Loring, I loved him too. What a great guy!







His only hobby was playing an old Washburn guitar, and in the summertime, when Michael and I were still kids, he used to spend his Saturdays sitting on a plastic lawn chair in the yard, nursing a beer and singing “Born to Run”.
Michael and I liked to scream “tramps like us” at the top of our lungs. At the end of the song, we would applaud and beg him to do it again.

“See?” our mom would say to him, no doubt thinking she was making him feel good. “You could have been Bruce Springsteen.”

“Right,” he always replied. “And if my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle.”

To this day, I can’t listen to “Born to Run”
without feeling like I’ve been shot.




I saw The Boss three times this summer in Ireland and I swear everytime he sang Born to Run my two sons moved further away from as as I screamed tramps like us and pumped my fist in the air…. Good Times!

“And no matter what anybody says about grief and about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken.”


I could go on and on about this book and post quotes and pictures so I better just shut up and say to you all, if you haven’t read this one, go and read it!



Go on have a lisiten to one of the greatest songs ever …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKhwqh...



and as an afterthought if you haven’t seen the film Searching for the Sugar Man, check it out…. All that what ifs are really brought out. You know being in the right place at the wrong time and Karma and all that Jazz ….


In the early 1970s, Sixto Rodriguez was a Detroit folksinger who had a short-lived recording career with only two well received but non-selling albums. Unknown to Rodriguez, his musical story continued in South Africa where he became a pop music icon and inspiration for generations. Long rumored there to be dead by suicide, a few fans in the 1990s decided to seek out the truth of their hero's fate. What follows is a bizarrely heartening story in which they found far more in their quest than they ever hoped, while a Detroit construction laborer discovered that his lost artistic dreams came true after all.


Maybe it was true what Paul said about dreams. When they come true in reality, they never feel the same as they do when you imagine them.



I want to THANK ...


for recommending this one to me. It has been on my Kindle for ages and just never got around to reading it…..

Profile Image for Lady Vigilante (Feifei).
632 reviews2,938 followers
Read
July 15, 2016
2 stars? 3 stars? 5 stars? I still don’t know…

description

I wish I had the energy and brains to flush out a detailed review but I’m sorry to say, I don’t. I’m just so goddamned exhausted after reading this inspirational yet depressing book, so goddamned frustrated with these strangely fascinating characters, and so goddamned upset that even the breathtaking writing can’t mask my disappointment with the last 50% of the book.

All I have left to say is that this book had the complete possibility of becoming a 6 star read for me – just the writing alone is worthy of 5 stars. I know I’ve highlighted at least a quote or two on every page. Plus the shit that comes out of Paul’s mouth is the kind that makes you clutch your heart and hold your breath because it’s so…profound and out-of-the-world intelligent. So for the first 50% I was pretty much lulled into a false sense of security and comfort with this author’s words and the quietly intense story...and then my heart cracked at the 56% mark. Suffice it to say my pancreas was on fire and everything after this part played out like an unwanted and unnecessary love triangle. My sympathies were with Loring the entire time and I hate Eliza for making the stupid decision that instigated all this goddamned drama and for using Loring the way she did here, especially when he had genuine feelings for her.

Oh and that ending? Gonna pretend it ended like this:

I don’t know how many times I’ve DNF-ed this book while I read it (I lost count at 8) but it’s like I have this morbid connection with this book and my brain must be tethered to the phenomenal writing since I couldn’t find it in me to put this book to rest before reading to the end. On the bright side, I enjoyed learning about the inner workings of the music industry – most of the quotes I highlighted spoke volumes about the industry’s faults and I couldn’t help but be moved.

There’s no doubt that this book blew a hole through my chest and raised the bar for any future rockstar romances I might read. But just not in the way I expected. It’s a torturous feeling to be both wowed and oddly disappointed by a book that I can’t stop thinking about.
Profile Image for ~IreneOust~.
509 reviews777 followers
March 23, 2015

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This review probably won't make any sense but I'll try ...


Absolutely, positively, without a doubt 5 glorious stars!

(My 5 star ratings are reserved for books that have been/will be read multiple times because they are that good and this is definitely one of those books!)

A couple of things before I begin:

First ... this is one of the best goddamn books ever written (in my humble opinion).

Second ... Tiffanie DeBartolo, I feel like you just kicked my ass in a boxing match and I need to leave the ring on a stretcher. I feel exhausted. Emotionally. But the high I got from this book is worth every tear [happy and sad] I shed while reading it. Thank you!


This book is definitely going onto my "kicking myself for not reading this sooner" shelf. It sat on my Kindle forever and once I finally got to it, I really did feel like kicking myself or doing this:

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because, instead of suffering through some of the mediocre books I came across in the last few months, I should have given this one a chance a loooooooong time ago.

My feelings while reading this:

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This book had me overflowing with emotion because the story hit close to home a couple of times. I am sure I am not the only one who can say that music helped (and still does) get me through some shitty times in life. I don't even think I could have gotten through this book without music so there you have it ... (In no way, shape or form does the last sentence mean that getting through this book was one of the shitty times in my life. Just wanted to clarify.)

I can't pick a favorite character in this story if my life depended on it. I loved them all.

I loved Paul for staying true to himself. I loved the fact that he loved Eliza as much as he did. I loved that he was a good/true friend which is a very rare thing to find, especially in that industry.

I loved Loring for being ... Loring. Once you read the book, you'll know what I mean.

I loved Michael and Vera.

And I did love Eliza. The girl's got balls.

But I haven't experienced this much heartache caused by a bunch of "what ifs" in a while. What if Loring did come into his dad's hotel room when Eliza interviewed Doug? What if Bananafish signed with Jack Stone instead? What if Eliza never went back to the Rings of Saturn?

I guess the worst "what if" of them all could have been - what if I never came across GR and never found out about this book from the amazing bunch that are my GR friends???

Did anyone else feel like Tiffanie is the "Doug Blackman/Paul Hudson" of the book world who decided to take a hiatus all of a sudden and in her absence we are forced to put up with the "Amanda Strunk" type authors who couldn't write their way out of the paperbag???

Anyways, I said this review won't make any sense and it probably doesn't but it doesn't change the fact that this is an exceptionally well-written story & if you haven't had a chance to experience it for yourself, you are trully missing out.

Rock on, my friends!

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Over.
Profile Image for Amy | Foxy Blogs.
1,654 reviews1,032 followers
April 5, 2017
~Just about 3 stars~

”Note to self: Always remember how lucky you are to wake up next to someone who thinks you're the shit.”

True words of wisdom spoken above. In a world where loneliness can be all encompassing it’s nice to have someone on your side rooting for you. When you find your ‘tribe’ it’s very freeing to allow you to be who you are meant to be. The problem is when someone else’s idea of success is not your own and they alter your course with their actions. They think they’re doing it for your own good but ultimately it's a failure all around.

When the main cause of drama is miscommunication it frustrates me as a reader. This was one of those instances where some communication could have cleared up the initial mess that was created. I know at one point the culprit went to explain themselves but was disheartened when they saw the result of what their actions had done. A lot of characters were hurt by nothing being done to shed light on the situation.

I really enjoyed the writing style but from the beginning, I never connected with the story or the characters. The one character I really enjoyed was a side character who got caught in the crossfires of the clusterfuck. I felt really bad for them as I knew they were ultimately going to lose the heart of the one they had fallen for.

I know this book was written in 2005 and the majority of my friends read it about 4 to 5 years ago and maybe if I had read it back then I might have felt differently about the book BUT the world has changed a lot in that time. There were some words and phrases that just aren’t acceptable to use - gay, lesbo and retard. A few years ago in my son's Freshman English class, a student had said, ”That’s so gay.” The teacher informed the student they couldn’t say that because it would be like everyone saying, ”That’s so [insert student’s name].” She reminded the students the use of those terms above have a negative connotation. When I read those terms in this book it took me a minute to remember this was written 12 years ago but I still found them to be distracting. The story felt like it could have taken place now and all that was missing to make it feel like current times were cell phones.

Overall, I’m glad I read it because I was able to see why this would be a classic Goodreads book. HOW TO KILL A ROCK STAR is on the majority of my friends’ favorite list as a must read book. It’s something that caused a lot of readers to flip pages to see what would happen next. It was also published when there wasn’t a lot of contemporary romance to pick from.

It's a book where you have to experience it for yourself to see how it affects you.

STANDALONE

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Profile Image for Georgia ��� .
420 reviews1,170 followers
December 11, 2014
5 ♪♫ Goddamn ♪♫ Stars

Dreams can change histories and songs can alter destinies.


description

Music. Two people madly in love with it. And one band. Paying respect to the gods of Rock N' Roll.
Bananafish

description

Eliza is afraid to let herself fall. And learn how to fly in the process.

description

Paul is a dreamer and a true believer. And a rockstar in the making.

description

When Eliza, a young music reporter lands the story of a lifetime, meeting her idol, she comes to New York to work for a famous magazine. There she will meet her other half in the face of Paul, singer of the band, her brother is playing guitar for. Both are so alike in their view of the world and they will have to face the perils of music industry, living in the spotlight and laying your soul bear in front of crowd. Both music romantics, hopelessly in love with melody and lyrics, and with each other but are they ready surrender every hope and abandon every fear?

Remember I've always been more afraid to die
than I ever was to live.


WHAT A STORY!! Dreamy, realistic, passionate, hilarious and bittersweet life in around 400 pages this books pays a homage to people that changed the world and didn't afraid to live. Love, life, music, betrayal and the compromises we are willing to make or not, all in this epic story of Eliza and Paul who are definitely mot super-heroes, but everyday people making stupid decisions, hurting and living the best way they know.

While reading this book I kept humming and feeling. Laughing and crying. Ups and downs. I got mad and threw the book against the wall. I laid heartbroken staring at the ceiling. I sighed and fell in love. And now I want to dream. And change the world. And listen to music. Not in that order.
Profile Image for Jennifer Kyle.
2,498 reviews5,343 followers
July 24, 2014
What to say... I laughed, cried, and mostly sat on the edge of my seat as I read it. A love triangle, terrible decisions that left me feeling terribly ill,(mabye my pancreas?) and a twist!
As Paul Hudson would say. OVER
Profile Image for Geri Reads.
1,232 reviews2,120 followers
July 16, 2013
Buddy read with the lovely Baba.

♥5 Swan-dive off the bridge stars!!♥



How do you exactly review a book that affected you in so many ways? A book that made you laugh and made you cry. A book made you dust off old records and listen to the old melodies but never forgotten melodies of the past. A book that made you want to pick up a guitar and play those songs that made your heart bled a little. How?



Contained in this book is a love story. But it's not just a love story between two people but a love story between man and his music. Safe to say, this book is an ode to rock n' roll. A frank and often brutally honest look at the music world. Both Eliza and Paul, and many of other characters, Loring, Doug and the Michaels, lived and breathed music. It was their passion. It was in their blood.

The power of music rests in its ability to reach inside and touch the places where the deepest cuts lie. Like a benevolent god, a good song will never let you down.


I don't want to fill my review with quotes although the book contained so many of them, it was hard for me to choose. But I will tell you that this book was just amazing. Well written, thoughtful, intelligent and brutally frank. Tiffanie DeBartlo will capture your heart, ensnare you minds and will make you ask questions about the things that you really want.



At the heart of this story is Paul Hudson, a talented music prodigy, who like other musicians before him struggled to make a career out of the thing he loved most, which is his music. Paul, as I said, was a musical genius. He writes this songs that grabs at you. But Paul is frustrated with the state of the music industry. He had talent but the industry is different now. Pop is the reigning queen and it's the music execs who decides whose talents live or die.

I loved how the book takes you on the ins and outs of the music industry. This book will make you question your taste in music, I assure you. I remembered reading the chapters about Paul explaining to Eliza who Mr. Winkle is and I was thinking, "Holy hell! I don't want my music tainted by Mr. Winkle! No way!" Mr. Winkle by the way is a representation of money hungry music execs whose main concern is the bottom line.

You will realize, as you read this book, at the unfairness of it all. How many talented musician do you think are out there that we'll never get to hear because some music exec didn't think they're good-looking enough to sell an album? Hundreds, if not thousands probably. I found myself nodding my head and agreeing with Paul, Doug, Eliza and the true believers that music, or should I say rock n' roll is dying and is in dire need of a savior.

“But sometimes talent isn’t worth shit. There are tons of talentless people out there making zillions of dollars. And unfortunately, an equal number of brilliant artists whose names and voices you’ll never hear.”


Paul Hudson was supposed to be that savior. With his talent and charisma, he seemed poise to to save American music from itself. The question is who will save Paul?



Enter Eliza Caelum, a young music journalist who matched Paul's passion for music. She moved in with Paul after snagging a job at a reputable music magazine. And when she and Paul met, they fell in love. Eliza was hesitant at first and Paul's reputation as man-whore didn't help his case. But against all odds, they fell in love.

As I mentioned before, this wasn't a gushy love story. It was very sweet but also melancholic and yet the interactions between Paul and Eliza pulls you in with them. They were open, honest and it was funny as hell especially Paul's journal recordings. Those where my favorite. Through his recordings, we learn about Paul's feelings for Eliza, his band, his music and his attitude towards success.

Remember this moment, my friend the tape recorder. Lying next to Eliza, I had the feeling I’d just found something I didn’t even know I’d lost.

But trying to describe how I felt watching her dance around and sing would be like trying to build a skyscraper with my bare hands. It made me want to marry her. Made me want to buy her a magic airplane and fly her away to a place where nothing bad could ever happen. Made me want to pour rubber cement all over my chest and then lay down on top of her so that we’d be stuck together, and so it would hurt like hell if we ever tried to tear ourselves apart.


They were happy but as Paul said, happiness is fleeting. Just when all stars have finally aligned; they signed with major music label, Eliza and Paul's relationship is solid and looking forward to the future, the shoe had to drop. I won't divulge anything because it would spoil the whole story. But you know the feeling you get during a roller coaster ride when you reached the highest point and suddenly the car, plunges down and you feel heart drop to the bottom of your stomach? Yup, that was how I felt while reading those chapters and it didn't let go until the about 90% of the book.



Aside from that, I seriously, seriously wanted to hurt Eliza and Paul, too. Stubborn shits. But just when you thought all hope is lost, John the Baptist stepped in. I'm not kidding. John the Baptist was in this book. I won't say anything anymore. You have to read the book yourself. But let's just say that the ending will make you happy. I don't know if it will be satisfying for everyone but personally, I was happy with the ending. I thought it was a fitting. It was rebellious, a sort of fuck you to the world who tried to let them down.

“Bottom line, Eliza— you’re my home and my family, and I don’t want to lose you. I could lose everything else, and as long as I still had you and a guitar I know I’d be all right. Do you get what I’m saying?”


I would be remiss in my review if I don't include some of my fave quotes. Don't worry though, I won't post anything too spoilery.

Shitney Spears

"Do you understand how big that is? That a silly little song can alter the course of a person’s destiny? My life would be remarkably different, remarkably less extraordinary, less everything, if it weren’t for the mystical force that a second ago you pitifully reduced to only rock ’n’ roll.”

This is what it means to be in the middle of love, I thought. Being in the middle of love is like being in the middle of a war zone.

What I love, what it’s about for me, and what it’s always been about, is the music. Everything else I can use to wipe my ass.

I’ve got my girl and my guitar, and for me that’s enough. The rest is yesterday’s news.

“And if my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle.”

Over.



September 16, 2013
4.5 torturous, soul- consuming stars!

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*****Kudos to everyone out there who has managed to review this book spoiler-free. That is a huge feat. I'll start with saying mine will be spoiler free (except the final quote which is hidden). I would try to avoid reading a lot of other reviews....even avoid reading the quotes posted on the book's GR page. Personally, they should be deleted as they give everything away. Don't do it, don't look! I KNOW Mo and Rosalinda's are also spoiler free. I'm sure there's more, but I was advised to not read many which I was happy. This book needs the full experience. It has a menagerie of emotions evoked- happiness, sadness, anger, disgust, and even OMFG moments towards the end.

Paul lives the life of a struggling musician. He's a beautiful yet tortured soul. His "pancreas" is always acting up....he's sure it's cancer since both parents died of it. On a music standpoint, he's got strong convictions to not get bought by record execs and lose his voice, his soul. Record execs don't care about the music, they care about money- and Paul is NOT driven by money. He lives in a shithole apartment in NYC- when a fellow band member moves out, his buddy's sister moves in. He just didn't bank on said girl rocking his world (pun intended) like she did.

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Eliza is moving to NYC to be near her brother. He's in a band Bananafish and has offered her his old bedroom in a bandmate's apartment. Eliza loves music, loves rock and roll. She quotes songs of Doug Blackman like they're almost biblical. But getting to the city is a challenge, having lost both parents in a plane crash, she's terrified to fly. Ground transportation will have to do, even if it takes her a week to get there. She knows every statistic of crashes, planes, pilots, etc.....NEVER. GOING. TO. FLY.

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So this is where my vague review ensues. The book was written almost poetically. It's rather long and in the first half or so I found myself putting it down for life distractions. The second half rocked my world.

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The book is about loyalty to one's dreams, holding on to fear versus taking the step to conquer them, it's about sacrifice, about unselfish love.... A love that looks selfish on the surface but is actually the ultimate sacrifice.

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The reason I deducted the half star will even be a bit vague as I don't want to spoil it. I felt the very end was a bit rushed. I wanted more dialogue. I can't say more or the whole "OMFG" is given away. My advice, READ THIS BOOK if you like a deeper read that captures your attention, your heart and will stay with you for a long time to come. It has great quotes, great music from rock legions, and all around superbly written. Thanks for the recommendation ladies! Muah!

Profile Image for Ilze.
265 reviews221 followers
September 3, 2014
I finished reading this yesterday, but I couldn't really decided what rating should I give it. I feel very conflicted about this book. I think it was a unique read and I most certainly loved the music theme in it and that it went further than average rock star romance. Not only did it tell us a story about a couple, but it also showed us a little glimpse in the music industry. I really enjoyed that.

However, I absolutely hated the choices heroine made and the direction plot took. I know that a lot of people would say that it had to happen for the plot. I disagree, I feel like there were many other things possible which could lead to that ending. Anyway, after that altering choice was made, I did not enjoy this book at all. I did like Paul's POV and I still liked the music theme, but when you intensely disliked the heroine and most secondary characters it is really hard to keep reading.

The story is about Eliza and Paul, who both are very passionate about music. Paul is in the band Bananafish and Eliza is working as a music journalist. After Eliza becomes Paul's roommate they fall in love. When Bananafish gets signed by a major label, Paul and his band are on their way to become famous. They both have to make decisions which will change their lives, and they both have to decide what is more important to them.

I have to say that Eliza's decision was not heartbreaking it was STUPID!!! So very stupid and it made me extremely angry, and I really wished the book ended there and Paul found another girl. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Eliza kept telling 'I did the right thing for him' and blah blah blah, when she actually didn't know what the right thing was. Later she blamed herself and thought that maybe she made a mistake, but that didn't stop her from spreading her legs to the next guy. I consider Eliza one of the most weak, cowardly, pathetic heroines I had a chance to meet in a book. And who the fuck says 'don't be gay'?

I loved Paul, reading his POV was absolutely heart-breaking but amazing. I was highlighting constantly. Also, I agree with his opinion about music and it really made me sad to think about all the talented people we will never have a chance to hear just because their songs aren't catchy or crowd-pleasing enough. His words were powerful ♥ and if I had to rate the writing only then it would be solid 5 stars.

I feel like I have to mention the 'knock-your-socks-off ending'. I will blame all the books I have read and all the tv shows I have watched, I figured it out before it happened and all it got from me was a yawn. Even though I knew what is going to happen I still hoped Eliza would feel guilty for the rest of her life and die miserable.

I am giving this book 2 stars and that is because, ultimately, I just didn't believe their love story. When you love someone you do everything for them and if that means facing your worst fears - you do it. She didn't do it, which means she didn't really want to be with him all that much. Disappointing. That is all. Over.

"Dreams can change histories and songs can alter destinies."
Profile Image for Rachel  L.
1,993 reviews2,441 followers
October 2, 2014
3.75 American Pie stars

“Fate is the magnetic pull of our souls toward the people, places, and things we belong with.”

That wasn't quite what I expected, but in a good way!

How to Kill a Rockstar is the story of Eliza, a young rock journalist who in a twist of fate, meets her idol and follows her dreams. After landing a job as a journalist in a prominent magazine in New York, Eliza moves in with her brother, and meets her new roommate Paul Hudson.

“Personally, I don’t like inherently happy people. I don’t trust them. I think there’s something seriously wrong with anyone who isn’t at least a little let down by the world.”

Paul is the lead singer of her brother's band Bananafish, and Eliza recognizes the genius in him. Over time their feelings for each other grow into love, but then the Man (or Winkle) threatens to tear down everything Paul believes in.

“Tell me what you listen to, and I'll tell you who you are.”

What I liked about this book:

-The writing. It was magnificent. I think that's the main reason I liked this book as much as I did was because of the writing. The author made this book more than just another rock romance, and I have a feeling if anyone else had written something like it, it would have fallen flat.

-Eliza: Yeah she was dumb at times, but I understand from her standpoint she was desperate to help her brother. She was a great supporter and sister.

-Loring: I root for the underdog, what can I say? And as the underdog, this guy rocked!

My issues with this book:

-My biggest issue? The casual use of the words "gay" "lesbo" and "retard" being used as insults. I don't care if it's half-hearted or a joke. It was insulting to me. Maybe because this book was written 10+ years ago and was placed in 2000 it was okay then, but not okay now (and for me not ever).

-Paul: Dear God, I really didn't like that man. I spent most of the second half of the book wanting to slap him and not understanding why Eliza loved him.

^^^in an unconventional rating system from me, I docked off half a point rating for each of these things = 4 stars. I docked another .25 points because I felt the story was fairly predictable even though it was enjoyable.

Overall, I really liked this book, but I didn't love it. I'm glad I didn't pay the $7.99 and was able to get an inter-library loan on this one.

“It sounds silly, I know. But for me, the power of music rests in its ability to reach inside and touch the places where the deepest cuts lie. Like a benevolent god, a good song will never let you down.
And sometimes, when you're trying to find your way, one of those gods actually shows up and gives you directions.”

Profile Image for DKristin.
494 reviews225 followers
September 16, 2013
I don't have much to goddamn say about this goddamn book except that if it weren't for that goddamn Paul I would not have finished it or bothered giving it a goddamn full star let alone a goddamn 2 star rating!

This book would be categorized in what those who know me well understand to be the 12 Monkeys/Sophia Coppola category of entertainment. For those, which is most of you, who are not familiar with my Kris-isms this category contains stories that have so much fucking potential that you are out of your mind excited about the possibilities of where it will go. THEN it's executed and you realize that it doesn't matter if you're fucking Shakespeare and can write the most beautiful words ever written if a massive piece of your plot is awful, nonsensical, non-existent, or redundant it means NADA!!!!


I know what those of you who loved this and found it to be of epic proportions are thinking about me...

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It's cool I can take it doesn't change my opinion though...

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Profile Image for Regina.
625 reviews419 followers
December 14, 2011
How to Kill a Rock Star by Tiffanie DeBartolo is one of my favorite reads for 2011. It moved me emotionally and I simply could not put it down. I could say I loved it because the book is beautifully written. Or I could say that the book is a favorite because the dialogue is incredibly witty and funny. Yes, that is all true. But that is not why it affected me so deeply – this book is so powerful because the characters are so completely real. Okay, the book was powerful. The book was a favorite. But what does that mean? It means I stayed up until 2:00 am on a work night to finish it. It means that I cried my eyes out not just once but a three times! It means I got so pissed off at the main characters I almost threw my kindle – more than once. It means that I cannot wait to read this book again.

The story is told from the point of view of two main characters: Eliza and Paul. Eliza’s personality is similar to a friend I knew and snippets of her life as written in this book were very similar to my past. This book is a contemporary romance, but it is also more than that. What many romances authors get wrong is that they write characters which are too perfect and perhaps that is part of the fantasy: the characters are extremely beautiful, the sex is over the top amazing, and the relationship proceeds without any road bumps – and oh, of course at least one of the main love interests is unbelievably wealthy. These themes definitely have their place in the romance genre, it is a great escape. But How to Kill is not a romantic escape. It is a romance that baptizes you by dunking your head in cold water – and keeping it under the water until you think you will explode. In a good way, I promise!

How to Kill a Rock Star is not a fantasy romance novel. The characters are described to look like real people; the characters struggle financially and the real world intrudes on making their dreams come true. The most authentic for me in this story, was how the author wrote the romantic relationship. No matter what we fantasize about, the love of our life may not be the most handsome and he may not be the sweetest; sure as hell, he likely won’t be the richest. But even with these imperfections, the love and romance can still be a powerful all-encompassing love. Then there is the ugly side of love. When people are hurt and when they feel betrayed, they may do ugly mean things – to themselves, to each other, to their friends, to their careers; rationality is not always the most followed course during a messy period in a romantic relationship. Ms. DeBartolo does not shy away from writing how relationships devolve, how they break down and how they get ugly.

How to Kill is also more than a love story about two young people, it is also a love story of the characters' romance with rock and roll,

“It sounds silly, I know. But for me, the power of music rests in its ability to reach inside and touch the places where the deepest cuts lie. Like a benevolent god, a good song will never let you down. And sometimes, when you're trying to find your way, one of those gods actually shows up and gives you directions.”


If you are looking for an emotional read that will stay with you for a long time, then I highly recommend this book. Below are some of my favorite quotes from this book:

“For the record, if I were Superman, a pale, scrawny guy holding a guitar would be Kryptonite.”

"I wanted to freeze the moment. Freeze it and jump inside of it and stay there until it melted into the warm, swishy liquid of happy memories."

"I celebrated the scene as one of those rare instances when you actually catch sight of happiness in motion. Happiness made everything soft and shiny like Vaseline on a camera lens."

"The thing is, we loved each other, and on some level we always will, but when you're twenty-three and you fall in love, you tend to think that love will supersede any problems .. no matter how much you love somebody, no matter how desperately you want a relationship to work, life can act as an oxidizer and corrode it to pieces."

"'Come on. We had sex. You have to.' He chuckled. 'Eliza, if that were my only criteria, do you know how many girls would know my real name?'"

“Come on. We had sex. You have to.

“There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. And I'm guessing that once you've discovered this distinction you can't go back to solitary confinement without serious emotional repercussions.”

“Fate is just another word for people's choices coming to a head. Destiny, coincidence, whatever you name it. It inevitably lies in our hands.”

" ‘All is fair in love and war, right?’ It was, by far, the dumbest cliche I had ever uttered. It was an insult to love and an inadmissible exoneration of war."

"'Eliza, are you crying?' 'It's just that, well, sometimes Happiness hurts.' "

Profile Image for Ash Wednesday.
441 reviews544 followers
August 23, 2014
08.20.14 : Buddy read with Robin, Sandra, Ya, KdBrand and Samantha.

I can't believe it's just been a little more than a year since I read this the first time. This re-read was a great gauge on how differently I read then and now, how the critiquing has shifted highlighting things that didn't bother me the first time around. Case in point, I don't remember being annoyed with Eliza as much as I did this time around. How she belittled Paul's fears against her own in the beginning were but among the other things the middling reviews cried foul over. Everything that bothered everyone else about this book, I am now seeing a bit clearly from where I stand. Reading back about Loring and Eliza's moments, I can't help but feel a little sad

What remained unchanged was the obvious passion and honesty DeBartolo infused in this one. To have this as a pit-stop in your history, a milestone into adulthood is quite something. In conveying a message, heartfelt and honest, sharing an irrepressible faith.. she made this as much as hers as her readers. This reader anyway. And for that I'll always be grateful.

============================================

We all start out as little fishes in our daddy's pants, and we all end up a Thanksgiving feast for the worms, and in the mean time, we have to find a couple of good reasons to give a f*ck

My rock god fantasy is visiting John Lennon during the Dakota years. He'd be baking me bread while we prank call Paul McCartney. Speaking of Paul McCartney...

I loved this book. Kinda wanted to propose and marry and have kids with it. I mean, the author wrote the sh*t out of this one. And I wasn't going to review mostly because I'm too verklempt to make any sense. But I was led to this book by a review of another book and I felt, if I could spread the word according to Tiffanie DeBartolo (or Paul Hudson for that matter), then I would've reminded another person of how it feels to read something that doesn't dumb you down as a reader.

I was pretty sure this will ruin all my subsequent reads for me for a while. How else will I read anything and not use this book as rule and measure? Character depth? Realistic, witty dialogue? Relatable situations? Logic? Okay maybe logic is a bit of a negotiable point (I'll get to that), but the thing is, until I got to about the 52% mark, I was eating up everything DeBartolo was dishing.

The things is, I imagine how many ways this book can be taken and still the reader would end up bewitched, bothered and bewildered. Is it the philosophical ruminations about fate, love, death and life? A love letter (or a eulogy) to rock and roll? A credible love story with moments that will grip your heart and pancreas at the same time? Is it the finger to capitalism and embracing that which makes us human? It is all that and more.

So when I started to frown on how things were panning out plot-wise beyond that 52% mark, I was a bit relieved that the next book I'd be reading won't be DNF-ed relative to this. That out-of-left-field decision that Eliza made, that set the ball rolling for the latter half of the book... yeah, not a fan of that. It felt like an ill-fit with how the story was going thus far. But then without that moment, I'd only be left with half a book. Never mind if beyond that point things went the predictable path. Had it not been for that pivotal, illogical, soap opera-ish point, I wouldn't have met Loring's teakettle, Bob. Or seen Paul throw an awesome sh*t-fit. Or just plainly read Ms. DeBartolo's words a little while longer.

The end felt a little to drawn out (though I'm blaming myself for calling out that plot twist, a mile away) and I could think of a few better last 25% for the story. Strange, but I kind of wished the focus didn't stray away much from the music and the deafening drama of the love story didn't drown it out. Because that's what drew me in in the first place anyway and that would've made this a perfect five star read.

But who wants to call their aunts with balls, uncle anyway?
Profile Image for Christy.
4,188 reviews35k followers
April 20, 2015
This book had me from the beginning, you will laugh and cry (or sob like a baby) but overall great book with an ending I loved
Profile Image for AJ.
3,069 reviews1,025 followers
March 16, 2015
How to describe this book…… You know what? I don’t even want to try.

I went in not knowing much about it except the fact that there is so much love out there for this book. It was very different from what I was expecting and I both loved and hated it.

It is the story of musical journalist, Eliza, moving to New York City and meeting Paul - a sexy, tortured and crazy talented sexy singer/songwriter who is on the cusp of big success. They share a worshipful obsession of all things music, and their soul-deep connection leads to an intense love. But that is all put to the test as the realization of their dreams pulls them in directions they never expected.

“Fate is just another word for people's choices coming to a head. Destiny, coincidence, whatever you name it. It inevitably lies in our hands.”

I need to gush about Paul for a moment. He’s such a unique character! Philosophical, poetic and endearingly quirky, he has an overabundance of “self-righteous integrity” which (for me), got a little excessive at times, but he is also sweet and funny and deeply feeling. I loved watching his journey through the ups and downs of the story, and thought that the parts from his POV were absolutely sensational.

For what it’s worth, I think happiness is a fleeting condition, not a permanent goddamn state of mind. I’ve learned that if you chase after moments of bliss here and there, sometimes those moments will sustain you through the shit … Personally, I don’t like inherently happy people. I don’t trust them. I think there’s something seriously wrong with anyone who isn’t at least a little let down by the world.

The romance did feel a bit rushed at the beginning, with things moving quickly and without a lot of detail. But the pacing of the whole book is quite fast, with a lot of things happening in a relatively short time frame, so it all flows together really well. And Paul and Eliza just fit. They are so great together, and I loved their banter and the way that they understood each other effortlessly.

“All your cocky-bastard nonsense, it’s an act, isn’t it?”
“If I said yes, would you love me less?”
“I’d probably love you more.”

“Bottom line, Eliza – you’re my home and my family, and I don’t want to lose you. I could lose everything else, and as long as I still had you and a guitar I know I’d be all right. Do you get what I’m saying?”

What annoyed me about the story? Easy, one word – Eliza. For most of the book I really liked her, but then she pulled the most epic of heroine stupids. Seriously, I was raging and railing, and absolutely, utterly heartbroken. I had to put the book down to get over the trauma of it all. I needed debriefing from a friend, and a night to sleep on it before I could even pick the book up again.

Warning – this is a HUGELY spoilery rant… .

But even though I struggled with parts of the storyline, there is something to be said for an author that can make you feel something so strongly, and OMG, Tiffanie DeBartolo truly has a gift for writing. Most of the time when you read a book, it’s the story that sucks you in, but every now and then you find one where the writing feels like a smack in the face and grabs a hold of you. This is one of those books. I’m usually not a fan of overly poetic writing, and with all of the musical lyricism going on in this book, I will admit that I did find it a bit pretentious at times, but it still creates a fantastic mood for the story, and I found myself lost in it.

And the way that Tiffanie has constructed the book is so clever. From the title to the way she wove every little thing through the whole story, you can tell that the whole thing is so skilfully planned. It’s one of those books that you don’t just read, you experience. And the whole thing is a rollercoaster! I wasn’t expecting a lot of the things that happened and so I experienced shock after shock, and my poor heart was a mess. Of course, it didn’t help that my rage was still simmering away while all of the ups and downs were happening, but it all added to my emotional clusterfuck, making this a really intense read.

And a quick should out to the side characters – love them or hate them, they were all really well developed, and bring SO much to the story. From Vera and the Michaels to Doug, John the Baptist, and especially Loring, they are such an important part of everything that is happening and, once again, are woven into the overall story brilliantly.

So thank you to all of my GR friends who encouraged me to read this book, and to the friends that helped me through the trauma of it all. I’m so glad that I finally read it, and it’s definitely a story that will stay with me for a long time.

4 stars.
Profile Image for Bren.
86 reviews
September 13, 2013


I believe there are moments that are so huge in time that can change the course of our lives. Never have I believed in that statement more than now. That one decision that changes everything. I connected with this book on so many different levels.

”The song was senseless and sappy, but it made me feel something. And although I couldn’t articulate it at that age, feeling something-anything-made me conscious that I was alive…



Eliza is a character I instantly adored. She possessed this sadness and darkness, almost like it’s always looming over her. Eliza just had stopped dreaming the dream, until the night she meets Doug Blackman. That night she realized there might be more to life than the shitty cards that she had been given.

”It’s not that I don’t want to be successful,” he said. “I do. But music’s not a popularity contest to me. You either mean it or you don’t. Fuck the ones who don’t. I have no use for them. And I’d rather write some really good songs and sing them into my four-track, song that no one well ever hear, than be some record executives’ tool.”



Paul is a tortured rock star, a lost soul, and a dreamer in a sea full of dreams. He is insanely talented, crap I bet he can make the dictionary sound amazing. Yet what I loved more about Paul was his solid truth. He was always about the love and the music. Always trying to stay true to the music. He too had a dark past, a past that helped his art have more meaning. In a way I guess all good artist are.




The moment Eliza and Paul meet, its fate. The magnetic pull that draws them in the moment there eyes meet, WOW. As I was reading, I had to stop and absorb the intensity of the connection. As I got the chill and saw that these two people are meant to be. This book was perfection. Their souls knew one another, artist-to-artist, skin-to-skin, and heart to heart. They were different yet so much the same. They had journeyed some of the same paths. They survived to see the light, because they were meant to be. Their love is epic and surreal, and I also knew good to be true. As Paul rises to fame, the darkness that surrounds Eliza attaches itself even more. I hated Eliza for her weakness in overcoming this fear. When she decides to become a martyr, it just about kills me. I wanted to poke her eyes out. YOU STUPID BITCH!!! Aaahh but I judged to harshly and should have seen the cleverness of this writer to give me more than meets the eye. For you see you soon realize that Paul needed this as much as Eliza, actually their love needed it.

”That’s the magic,” Doug said. “That’s why you have to save the dying man. Because you want him around to keep saving you.”
“Save the savior,” I said.
“You dig, Eliza Caelum?”
“I dig, Mr. Blackman.”


This new world just about kills everything inside me. It broke my heart to see the pain that they both go through. There is such loss, and so many mistakes after mistakes until the unthinkable happens. Here is where I lost it. How could my poor heart survive? but it was just that-she needed to save the savior. A big thanks to my GR friends because without them I would have not finished this book. It just hurt too much to imagine my world without Paul Hudson. In the end I am extremely happy with the ending and love, I repeat love this book. It wove its way into the core of my heart and will forever have a spot there.

Just the extraordinary simplicity of the moment-the kind of moment that has a funny way of making a person believe that life and love can last forever…

September 1, 2014


I honestly have no idea what to say about this book. My immediate reaction after finishing this was to throw my kindle against my bedroom wall and give this book a nasty review. However, I let myself simmer (well, mainly due to the fact that I had indulged in my idiotic tendencies and read the whole book rather than sleeping for work and had to leave that very moment or else be late) composed myself, and thought to share what I took from this read.

There are four messages that I took away from this book:

1) The power of music. I don't think this is a novel concept at all, but DeBartolo's depiction of the music scene, especially from the viewpoint of a struggling and brilliant artist/band, brought back sharp memories of when I used to lose myself in music. I could relate to the goosebumps that Eliza got from hearing Paul sing and for the first half of the book, I was in a wonderland of sound. I could visualise the music, the emotions behind it that I literally got shivers from reading it.

2) Never allow anyone to mess with your dream. Don't compromise, don't be a sell out, stick true to your dream. Don't be tempted by the easy option, the option that would give you the quickest success possible. Stay true to yourself.

3) Never wait until its too late to start living. Don't put off what needs to be done because you're afraid. Face things head on, you'll have less regrets that way.

4) TALK. SHIT. OUT. Honestly, I was homicidal for the last half of the book. I swore like a stereotypical sailor. I kept squinting at the bottom left hand of my kindle, wishing the number to magically turn into 99% done so the torture could be over. I felt my eyes glaze over and my brain dribble out my ears. I hated every single damn character, everyone except Paul. I tried to be sympathetic, I really did, but when I remembered that Eliza and I are the same age, I thought, hell naw. My heart shrivelled up at Paul becoming a mess and begging Eliza not to leave him and I honestly wished that Eliza and Loring would just swan dive into the Hudson. My stomach (or it could have been my pancreas) burned for the rest of the story because I was so mad at Eliza for her white saviour complex, for being arrogant in thinking she was the key to saving Paul, for regarding herself as selfless for this sacrifice when everything would have worked out if she just opened her damn mouth and just spoke to Paul about every damn thing she was thinking.

OK, sorry, calming down now.

After much internal debate, I decided to give this book two and a half stars. I felt like this book could have been so much more if it had gone in a different direction. Whilst I did hate the journey that this book took us on in the last half, I thought it would be unfair to discount the amazingness of the first half of the book, the on point imagery and brilliant writing, not to mention the final twist at the end which became a saving grace of sorts.

Would you recommend this? Surprisingly, yes. Because I know I'm an oddball and really finicky about my reads, I know that what didn't work for me would usually work for everyone else. I just like to be a contrary bastard. Have a review from a good friend who enjoyed this.

Profile Image for Vanessa Booked Up.
952 reviews448 followers
April 9, 2016
6 How to Kill A Write an Amazing Rockstar Book Stars!!!

Ever see the movie Almost Famous ? This book is that movie, 30 years later, as far as its depiction of the music industry as it zeros in on one band trying to find success.

It was funny, tender, sophisticated.

There really isn't much else to say here except that this book moved me and made me feel so much...intensely and passionately! I 110% loved it!

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What an incredible author! Why hasn't this book been made into a movie?!?! I loved every minute of it. It was real, complex, involved, and the characters were lovable, yet messy. I loved each of them in their own way... except for Lucy. I definitely did NOT love that bitch! :)

But my favorite two characters, even beyond Paul and Eliza...and Loring, were music and this brilliant author, Tiffanie DeBartolo! I highlighted the majority of this book! I would give my right hand to be able to write half as well as this woman does.

"...for me, the power of music rests in its ability to reach inside and touch the places where the deepest cuts lie." ~Eliza

And thank you for writing Paul to be an unconventional book boyfriend with such intense character. We didn't need to read about what he looked like naked or throbbing manhood business (not that I would have minded...let's not get crazy now)...but he didn't dress the part, nor did he care to, but fuck me, he was just as sexy! Give me a guitar playing lead singer with a smart mouth and eyes that burn right through you and the rest is just the cherry on top!

Don't get me wrong, this is an INCREDIBLE story...but there is always that special something that when you love a book, takes it from good to great. And for me, it was by far the writing. It wasn't just good "love story" writing. There were so many points where I just had to stop and think about a line I had just read and let it resonate. Lines about yes love, but life, music, society, and the world.

Here are just a few of my fave quotes:

"Hey, don't take this the wrong way, but suffice to say that if I'd seen you in the subway station and not been there looking for you, I would've wished I was." ~Paul

"Nobody, and I mean nobody, ever started a revolution playing by the rules" ~Doug Blackman

"I couldn't feel the truth. Does that make sense? Do you know what the truth feels like?"
"I know what it sounds like" ~Eliza/ Paul

"...But when you're twenty-three and you fall in love, you tend to think that love will supercede any problems. That's what Rusted is about. Realizing that no matter how much you love somebody, no matter how desperately you want a relationship to work, life can act as an oxidizer and corrode it to pieces." ~ Loring

"As usual, the F train took forever. I decided F stood for fucking-slow-ass-crowded-fucking chug-a-lug train." ~Eliza

"Has the music industry done to music what McDonald's has done to eating?" ~ Eliza

"There are things we never tell anyone. We want to but we can’t. So we write them down. Or we paint them. Or we sing about them. Maybe we carve them into stone. Because that’s what art is. It’s our only option. To remember. To attempt to discover the truth. Sometimes we do it to stay alive. These things, they live inside of us. They are the secrets we stash in our pockets and the weapons we carry like guns across our backs." ~ Paul


Gah! There are so many more! I am not exaggerating when I say that I could paste the entire book in here! It was that wonderful!!


Castings:

Paul/ Eliza
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Hmm... and for those of you who need some more convincing that Jared Leto IS the perfect Paul...here ya go:

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If that's not Paul, I don't know what is! :)

Loring
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Incredible love story
Brilliant love triangle
Beautiful characters
Profound meaning
Some of the most powerful writing you will ever have the pleasure of reading!!!


And OH MY GOD that ending!!!!!!!

And my very favorite quote of all...

"We all start out as little fishes in our daddy's pants, and we all end up a Thanksgiving feast for the worms, and in the meantime we have to find a couple good reasons to give a fuck.
I've got my girl and my guitar, and for me that's enough."
~Paul

Over.

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Profile Image for Ashley.
519 reviews245 followers
July 15, 2018
Read this review and many more at: 5171 Miles Book Blog.

Is it just me, or are the books with the biggest hype the hardest to read? I've been holding off on How to Kill a Rockstar for months because I simply wasn't ready after having my heart stomped on by God-Shaped Hole. Tiffanie DeBartolo can write heartache like nobody's business. I wish I could borrow her brain for a day because this woman is incredibly smart. Her pages seep deep, philosophical Romance and I can't soak up her words enough. 

Unfortunately for me, (please don't throw tomatoes) I felt a disconnect with this story I can't place my finger on. I felt every word, I understood the choices the characters made, I was in their shoes, but I still couldn't help feeling slightly bored at points in this story. This has nothing to do with the writing, plotting, or anything on the author's part and strictly has to do with my own enjoyment. I personally feel like maybe it was the wrong time for me to read the book, maybe I felt rushed because Book Bonanza is coming, or because everyone's home and talking constantly in the summertime. ;) Either way, I closed the last page feeling disappointed with myself, not the author.

The characters in this story were so deeply human and realistic. I loved Tiffanie's ability to convey how the character's choices affected their futures. They made spur of the moment decisions and had to live with the consequences, no matter how awful their choices turned out to be. Her writing has an incredibly visceral quality I have not experienced prior to reading her books. I felt like I was in a crappy New York City apartment, I could smell the smells, see the sights, feel the heat of the summer day all without feeling burdened by description. I laughed, I teared up, I felt the pains of anxiety in my chest - the makings of not just a great book, but a work of art. I truly GET why so many readers list this as an all-time favorite.

So what is wrong with me? Why didn't I like this book as much as I should have? I kind of want to blame Loring and Winkle. Just go away, dudes. It's a bummer when a couple of characters you can't stand hold such weight in the story. I found myself rushing through the parts containing mention of them, just to move back to the characters I cared about. Yikes!

Still, that's not enough of an explanation of what was lacking for me, because I'm not even sure. I clearly will have to revisit this one at another time in my life! I do have to add, one of my favorite things was Eliza's relationship with music and the way she was able to feel a soul connection to certain songs. I think a lot of us readers can relate to this feeling through books. I know certain authors have changed my life and I think Tiffanie DeBartolo is one of those authors for many. So, dear readers, take my review with a grain of salt and pick up this book now! It's only been available for thirteen years - what are you waiting for?
Profile Image for LenaRibka.
1,457 reviews423 followers
January 21, 2015
I need a whole galaxy of stars!!!

" There are still people out there who believe music is more than just something to dance to. I'm glad I got a chance to see that."

My dear GR friends, you won't need a full charged vibrator for reading this book. There are no graphical hot sex scense in it.
All you need is HEART. All you need is SOUL. All you need is LOVE. All you need is BELIEVE.



And maybe a bottle of wine.
It is about LOVE. LIFE. HOPE. MUSIK. FATE. DESTINY. LIES AND TRUTH. PAUL. ELIZA. LORING. BANANAFISH. NEW YORK. IT IS ABOUT EVERYTHING.

I am not religious but from now on I declare it to my BIBLE.

I want to learn it by heart because I want to be able to quote the whole book! I know I am not the only one.
There are so many fantastic lines, there are so many moving words, there are so many touching thoughts in it!..

It is simply FUCKING BRILLIANT.
I am spechless because doesn't matter what I would say, doesn't mlatter how much I'd admire this book, you won't understand all my aloud enthusiasm and all my silent adoration if you still have not read it- JUST READ IT!.

It is not only one of the best books I have read last time, it is THE FUCKING BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ! Until now.

I am drown in it. It is my Mariana Trench in the ocean of my feelings and I am buried there under the zillion of emotions. Deeply grateful for all this book have done to me.




"There are things we never tell anyone. We want to but we can't. So we write them down. Or we paint them. Or we sing about them. Maybe we carve them into stone. Because that's what art is. It's our only option. To remember. To attempt to discover the truth. Sometimes we do it to stay alive. This things, they live inside of us. They are the secrets we stash in our pockets and the weapons we carry like guns across our backs. And in the end we have to decide for ourselfs when these things are worth fighting for, and when it's time to throw in the towel. Sometimes a person has to die in order to live..."



I need more wine.

Over.
Profile Image for Brandi.
656 reviews1,469 followers
June 5, 2015

description

There are no words for how much I loved this book, it is one of my all time favorites. I wish I could find the words to express how wonderful this book is, but nothing I could write would do it justice. It is the best example of how perfection renders me speechless. I feel so guilty for not being able to create some awesome eloquent review, seriously IT.IS.MY.FAVORITE.BOOK.. And all I can say is READ IT! - Tiffanie DeBartolo is like a genius. Magic flows from each page. This book gives me an affection erection - it's fucking perfection!

"Personally, I don’t like inherently happy people. I don’t trust them. I think there’s something seriously wrong with anyone who isn’t at least a little let down by the world.”

Eliza , after having a profound meeting with her idol, moves to New York. There she meets and falls in love with Paul, they face a number of challenges, but their love for each other is so true, raw, and beautiful. Again - I LOVE THIS BOOK!

description

Eliza and Paul will forever be two of my favorite characters. This story pulled me in right away, I have already read this book 2.3.4. 5 times! I am absolutely in love with Tiffanie's writing style. I have never related to characters as much as I have with Eliza and Paul, I felt everything they felt.

description

A bonus for me is the music and portrayal of the music industry

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"I just happen to comprehend the low standards of the majority of the music-buying public, and I don't care how condescending that sounds, it's true. They always go for the shiny gimmicks. Always"
Profile Image for Lisa.
165 reviews162 followers
July 21, 2012
I am thinking this book should have been titled How to Make a Reader Swoon, Tear Them Up Emotionally and Then Attempt to Stick Them Back Together While Making Them Think of a Bunch of Goddamn Philosophical Stuff. This book just about killed me! I laughed, I cried, I cried some more, and I felt like I was going to throw up but it was soooo worth it!

How to Kill a Rock Star made me look at fate in a whole new way. I had always thought fate was some universal pull that made things happen but in reality, it is a series of choices and decisions that cause something to happen. Whether it was meant to be or not, we each have a hand in our fate. There are no outside forces working; it is you and me and the second in time where we must choose a fork in the road. If I decide to get on a plane and that plane crashes, I died because I decided to get on that plane at that particular time at that particular airport to that particular destination. If I meet my soul-mate in the subway, it is because I decided and he decided to be in that place at that time. For Loring, it was fate (his decision to not go to his father's room) that kept him from meeting Eliza in Cleveland. It was fate that Paul met Michael whom had a sister that happened to move to New York that happened to need an apartment. Of course, once fate strikes Eliza and Paul, it is their attraction to each other and love for music that seals the deal! This book will have you thinking about fate, fear, love, loneliness, and death.

I goddamn LOVED Paul, even with his pea green suit, pancreatic cancer, and big Greek nose (I may have given him a British accent when he was speaking too). He was a rocker but he had this dorky quality that I found so endearing. Ah, I loved him so much I think I would have eaten the hideous tuna and bean pizza;) He had passion and drive but he is lonely and doesn't realize it until he meets Eliza who takes away his loneliness. This was alluded to in Paul's thoughts, “There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. And I'm guessing that once you've discovered this distinction you can't go back to solitary confinement without serious emotional repercussions.” And boy did he ever worship Eliza; I think we all swoon for a man with as much worship as Paul had. He said it best, "Eliza has the sky in her eyes and I've always wanted to touch the goddamn sky". I hoped he would always be able to touch the goddamn sky without emotional repercussions but fate may have had a say in that.

And Eliza, I felt bad for her loss and admired her love for all things music but she let fear override love and I would have to say being away from love has to be much more painful than conquering a fear. I wanted to hit her over the head a few times in this book. She made some choices in the book that negatively affected her fate and the fate of those around her. Through much of the book I thought how sad it would be to live your life with fear as your compass. I have no doubt in my mind that Paul would have chosen her over music but she had a hard time choosing him over fear. She did work herself back into my heart by the end of the book but I did not like her for a good chunk of this book!

And Loring, I found him to be a swoon-worthy man in his own way (not quite a swoon-worthy as Paul). I am glad that things worked out the way they did for him in the end but I hated some of what he had to go through because he choose love over fear. It is kind of funny how that works, one person chooses fear over love and one chooses love over fear and they try to make things work but in the end anyone who chooses fear over love isn't thinking with their heart.

This book made me think a lot about the choices I made in life that lead me to where I am today and I am sure it has that effect on a lot of people. After all, this philosophical point made by Paul rings true for me, "Always remember how lucky you are to wake up next to someone who thinks you're the sh**". I discussed this with the husband and we both agree that we think the other is the sh**:)

Okay, I tried to write this without giving anything away because it is one of those books that if I tell you too much, it will be ruined. All I can say is that it is AMAZING and if you have not read it, you need to do so NOW! And if you are going to read this, BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELT and ENJOY!

OVER!
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