Cara Delevingne on Sexuality, Confidence, and Finding Her Voice: "I've Never Felt So Strong"

Adwoa Aboah and Cara Delevingne are at The Bowery Hotel in New York City reminiscing about old times. Though Aboah, 25, can’t remember the first time she met Delevingne, 24, she does know one moment long ago when her friend made a lasting impression. “You were walking around on the street in London in a cardboard box,” Adwoa remembers. The two, then teen models, had just finished a day of castings when Delevingne found the box lying around, poked eyeholes in it, and put it on over her head. The prank totally killed.

Delevingne, of course, grew up in London. She’s from a prominent family: Her grandmother Jane was a lady-in-waiting to Princess Margaret. Though Delevingne studied drama in high school, she wound up following her older sister Poppy’s example and began modeling at 16. In 2011 an 18-year-old Delevingne landed her first major gig—walking Burberry’s fall runway—and by 2012 she’d been named Model of the Year at the British Fashion Awards. Over the next few years, she started trends (bushy brows), landed magazine covers (Vogue), and consistently ranked as one of the world’s top-paid models (in 2014, 2015, and 2016). But Dele­vingne, in time, found her way back to her passion: acting. After making her debut in the 2012 film Anna Karenina, she landed a lead in Paper Towns in 2015 and joined a star-studded cast in 2016’s Suicide Squad. This summer she’s front and center in Luc Besson’s sci-fi film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.

But back to the box incident: What has endeared Delevingne to friends like Aboah, more than 40 million Instagram fans, and big brands like Rimmel London is her idiosyncratic personality. Her motto is “Embrace your weirdness.” She’ll stick out her tongue or cross her eyes in photos—and share them. Delevingne also isn’t afraid to get real: At 22 she talked about her attraction to both men and women. She dated musician Annie Clark (stage name St. Vincent) for a year and a half, a relationship that taught her “what love was—real love.” In a rap battle with James Corden and Dave Franco, she joked, “I’ve hooked up with hotter girls than both of you combined.” And many women identify: “I love Cara Delevingne,” one fan wrote on Twitter. “Her openness about her sexuality…helped me accept myself.” Last year she took on another stigmatized issue, depression, talking about her own diagnosis in a series of interviews. “Mental illness goes unseen,” she said, “but I don’t want it to be unheard.”

Delevingne’s feminism goes deeper than words: She knows that many of her fans are teen girls, and she wants to break down barriers for them. She chose Valerian in part because of how her character, Laureline, a special operative tasked with saving the universe from a dark force, is represented. She goes headfirst into battle and saves her partner, Valerian, as much as he saves her. Delevingne is also hosting a girl-power docuseries with global sports brand Puma this summer, releasing a ­coming-of-age novel about teenhood this fall, and working with the U.N. Foundation’s Girl Up campaign, recently visiting Uganda to advocate for girls’ education. Shattering barriers? Embracing authenticity? Saying what she thinks? That’s the Delevingne Doctrine. She tells Aboah all about it, starting with some in-the-vault memories.

Gucci shirt, bodysuit, mesh leggings, pumps, silver rings. Pinkie rings, from left: Eddie Borgo, Tom Wood. Opposite page: Delpozo embroidered hooded sweater.

Michael Kors Collection coat, blouse, trousers, belt.

ADWOA ABOAH: What’s the most fun we’ve ever had together?

CARA DELEVINGNE: When we went to see Kelis at Glastonbury. We lost everyone—

ADWOA: And we found ourselves in the dance field at Kelis.

CARA: Or driving to Burning Man, our first time. We had no idea where we were going. The girl who drove was pregnant and blind.

ADWOA: She wasn’t wearing her glasses, was she? What I’ve realized is a lot of our first times have been together.

CARA: The first time we had sex—I’m joking. Kidding!

ADWOA: That’s not real. [Laughs.] We haven’t had sex. What do people get wrong about you and me?

CARA: Everything? Nothing. I don’t know. I tend not to dwell on the things people say. I’ve learned how bad that is for your well-being.

ADWOA: [People call us] “model best friends,” but we were friends before. What I’ve always been grateful for in our friendship is that we expect absolutely nothing from each other, just friendship.

CARA: You get paranoid that people are going to make friends with you for a reason, that they want something from you. But never have I ever thought anything other than that we love each other.

ADWOA: Yeah, exactly. [My question list says] you made the transformation from modeling to acting a few years ago. How did it feel?

CARA: I hate this question. The word transformation is odd.

ADWOA: I bet you do. I always have people go, “So you’re acting now?” But actually I went to university for it. It feels like, “You once again think I’m some dumb model that now wants to be an actress.”

CARA: Exactly, right. I always say, modeling is something I do, whereas acting feels more like what I [am]. I have felt better than I felt in years, and that’s purely from doing what I love. Especially because, while I’ve been doing this film [the upcoming Life in a Year], I’ve been sober. Being completely clean and clearheaded has been so helpful with getting into character.

ADWOA: It’s been two years since Paper Towns. You’re in another leading role in Valerian. Do you feel more established?

CARA: It’s not like, Oh, I’m more established; it’s like, I’m doing a Luc Besson film. I grew up loving his films. Meeting him, I thought, I’ll be professional. Instead I was like, “I’m such a big fan!”

ADWOA: That’s endearing. So many exciting things are going on in your life, yet it’s all still exciting. You have to keep that flame!

CARA: Oh, yeah. But that also depends on how happy you are: Some days you can do the coolest thing, and you couldn’t care.

ADWOA: I have to work on sitting in each accomplishment—

CARA: Instead of being like, on to the next!

ADWOA: At my poetry reading everyone said, “Well done.” It kind of annoyed me. They were being nice, but I was like, They’re lying.

CARA: Isn’t that the weirdest thing when you get pissed off [at a compliment]? Personally I take it as they are 100 percent lying. A man said to me, “Paper Towns is my favorite movie.” I thought, I do love that movie, but I know you’re lying. He was a 35-year-old man! I was confused: Does he just want to see if I believed him or not? I just said, “It’s my favorite movie too.”

ADWOA: It’s a massive inability to take compliments.

CARA: I think each of us has to look at the root of the issue as to why we cannot feel good about ourselves often enough to celebrate ourselves. It’s larger than what’s happening in the moment of receiving a compliment. Everyone has to figure out why they don’t agree with what’s being said. It’s a self-confidence thing.

ADWOA: Yeah! OK, let’s talk about Valerian. You play Laureline. What about the character attracted you to the project?

CARA: She’s a badass. She and Valerian are basically the only people on Alpha, the city of a thousand planets, and we have the task of keeping the planets safe. Valerian is all brawn, no brains. Laureline does the intelligent work. She makes sure he doesn’t f-ck it up.

ADWOA: Did you have to train for this film?

CARA: We trained every day. I’ve never been so strong. You want to feel like you could actually kick a massive alien down! I meditated, I practiced yoga, I ate well, I slept a lot. You can’t embrace anything wholeheartedly without a clear head.

ADWOA: Luc said you were perfect for the role, which makes sense with how you described Laureline—you are badass.

CARA: He’s lying.

Saint Laurent by Anthony Vaccarello tank, jeans, aviator sleeves, belt, boots.

Maison Margiela peacoat, top, skirt, hat, boots.

ADWOA: He’s not. How do you think you won him over?

CARA: He told me, “I need to know that, if I was to consider you, you would give me everything, that we have complete trust.” In the audition process I realized how much I—not wasn’t trusting him, but was like, Is he judging me? Do I look really stupid?

ADWOA: Yeah. That embarrassment. It holds you back completely.

CARA: It has to go. I had to get clearheaded—and learn how to trust. It starts with trusting yourself first, then you can begin to trust other people. Luc made a safe environment. And I wouldn’t leave until I got it right. He liked the fact that I was just relentless.

ADWOA: What example do you hope Laureline sets for women?

CARA: Laureline did the job as [well] as Valerian. He’s not saving her. They save each other, which is beautiful.

ADWOA: Rihanna is in the movie. What was it like with her on set?

CARA: I’ve seen her work in the studio, in concert, in meetings. But to see her act was incredible. There was a moment where Luc was trying to make her cry, to be emotional. He was like, “Imagine that you get told that your song hasn’t gone to number one and your performance is really bad.” I knew she wasn’t going to give a shit—that’s not the way to get into her emotion. And she literally said, “You’re kidding me? I couldn’t care less.” That was funny. Luc said we were similar in that, once the trust was there, we became clay he could mold.

ADWOA: That makes sense. You’ve been working with the U.N. Foundation’s Girl Up. What has been the most powerful experience for you thus far?

CARA: Going to Uganda. What those girls want is so simple, an education. And with this Puma docuseries, I met a woman in Toronto who does classes for women in self-defense. She asked me, “What is your strongest weapon?” I said, “The fists? The head? The elbow?” She said, “No, your voice.” I was like, Wow, I feel so stupid—this is what I’ve been trying to talk about! She said, “Run at me.” I ran at her. She was like, “Stop!” with so much intention I flew backward. She told me, “You do it.” I did, and I felt so strong.

ADWOA: One of the girls I work with through [my girls initiative] Gurls Talk emailed me the other day: “I’m thinking I’m attracted to women.” You started talking about your sexual fluidity publicly when you were only 22.

CARA: “When you were only 22.” That’s old to me.

Aboah and Delevingne at Glamour's 2016 Women of the Year Awards gala

Kevork Djansezian

ADWOA: That’s what I mean, this girl is 15.

CARA: I know 13- and 15-year-old girls who are like, “I don’t know if I like a boy or a girl yet. I haven’t decided.” And it’s like—[imagine] if I was able to comprehend [that at their age]. I am very happy how sexuality has become easier and freer to talk about, especially for kids.

ADWOA: What happened when you spoke out?

CARA: Once I spoke about my sexual fluidity, people were like, “So you’re gay.” And I’m like, “No, I’m not gay.’ ”

ADWOA: During Fashion Week many young women [were] in same-sex relationships. They would be like, “I’m surrounded by the most beautiful women.” They’re not gay; they’re not straight. But people would be like, “Oh, she’s a lesbian now.”

CARA: A lot of the friends I have who are straight have such an old way of thinking. It’s “So you’re just gay, right?” [They] don’t understand it. [If] I’m like, “Oh, I really like this guy,” [they’re like], “But you’re gay.” I’m like, “No, you’re so annoying!”…. Someone is in a relationship with a girl one minute, or a boy is in a relationship with a boy, I don’t want them to be pigeonholed. Imagine if I got married to a man. Would people be like—

ADWOA: “She lied.”

CARA: “She lied to us!” It’s like, no.

ADWOA: You just shaved your head. Did you do it for Life in a Year?

CARA: Yes. No, I did it because I’m gay. [Laughs.] I didn’t. I’m not gay. I am. I’m not. I’m fluid! I like fluid.

ADWOA: I’m whatever I want to be. When I shaved my hair, I did it on a whim. How did it feel to shave yours?

CARA: Totally liberating. But it does feel like people read my mind more. I feel like people see my thoughts.

ADWOA: You have nothing to hide behind. So what’s next? Where do you hope to be in five years? We’ll still be friends.

CARA: What’s next? Just living life. Who knows? For the first time, I’m happy with not knowing.

Adwoa Aboah is a model and the founder of the girls initiative Gurls Talk. Follow her on Instagram @adwoaaboah.

This article originally appeared in the August 2017 issue of Glamour. For more personal stories, celeb content, and news about women who inspire us, subscribe to Glamour for just $5.

Photographs by Patrick Demarchelier
Fashion editor: Jillian Davison