The Dirty Martini used to be the punching bag of cocktails. You can see why. A classic Martini is an orchestral composition, demanding finely tuned finesse from its maker. A Dirty Martini is "Smoke on the Water" in Guitar Hero by comparison. You might've gotten an eyeroll at the bar for ordering it. There might've been whisperings about "wasting good vermouth." And sure, it's not like the Dirty Martini has suddenly become the golden child of drinks. But there is a certain amount of new respect for a person who knows what they're about, and if what they're about is a Dirty Martini, so be it.
A Dirty Martini doesn't just take guts to order, but to drink, as well. Boldly briny and salty as the sea, it's disgustingly good, with that cloudy swirl of olive juice attacking your taste buds. But when you want a Dirty Martini, you want a Dirty Martini. It's like craving a can of salt and vinegar Pringles. Nothing will do until you've got them. If that craving has just walloped you, here's how to make a Dirty Martini. You can use vodka instead of gin if you prefer. Just don't skimp on the olives.
A Little Background
The Dirty Martini enjoys a rich history of being utterly despised by bartenders. But among its champions was FDR, who famously—and sloppily—made his own cocktails almost every day, and who is credited for popularizing this briny Martini offshoot. (Our 32nd president also had the honor of ending Prohibition in 1933.) Punch pegs the rise of the Dirty Martini to post-WWII America, although it was invented before, and says FDR's version called for two parts gin, one part vermouth, and a teaspoon of olive brine. According to some reports, FDR served a dry Martini to Joseph Stalin at the Tehran Conference in 1943, which Stalin unenthusiastically reviewed as "cold on the stomach." Perhaps he'd have preferred it dirty.
These days, bartenders are coming around to the Dirty Martini; if drinkers insist upon ordering it, it might as well be good. As such, craft variations and ingredients have sprung up in recent years, like olive bitters, caperberries for garnish, and brine specially bottled for use in cocktails. The Dirty Martini is cleaning up its act, so to speak.
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Too dirty for you? A classic gin Martini punches up the gin and holds the juice. You can garnish it with three olives, or a lemon twist for a hint of citrus, or cocktail onions (that's called a Gibson). And then you get into the Martini variations. There's a Vesper, like James Bond drank, with a perplexing recipe that calls for gin, vodka, and Lillet. (Don't shake!) A Tuxedo has gin, sherry, and orange bitters. And there's always the option of swapping your gin for vodka.
However, if you're just here for the salt and the brine, then it is high time you learned the art of the pickleback shot and the pickle juice cocktail.
Food styling by Sean Dooley
Prop Styling by Ashley Naum
