By 
AUSTRALIA’S COFFEE CULTURE is serious business — the barista standards are high and we take our beans (and subsequent orders — double strength, deconstructed oat latte anyone?) very seriously. It’s no wonder then that one’s daily caffeine fix is an absolute non-negotiable. It’s almost innate behaviour: can’t start my day without a coffee!
With that in mind, it’s safe to assume that your coffee order never changes, right? So, what if we were to suggest that perhaps, the coffee order of your choice is also an indication of your personal style? It is an interesting, yet slightly, conjectural thought, but being the avid coffee drinkers that we are here at Esquire HQ, we thought we’d put together a list of the most popular coffee orders — and what it might say about your wardrobe.
Coffee up!
The Espresso
The self-professed coffee connoisseur who thinks anything other than an espresso isn’t “pure.” Sure, they might know a thing or two about beans — and cringe at the idea of latte art— but apart from some very obvious coffee snobbery, their style game is actually pretty well executed. Meticulous tailoring is a given, think crisp P. Johnson suiting, and they have a most considered wardrobe (perhaps, too considered — colour coded, organised by designer, silhouette and all). They know how to dress down a suit, and likely own only branded street-wear — a down-filled Moncler puffer jacket, no less.
The Latte
Latte lovers are a picky and particular bunch; is it ever as simple as just “one latte, please”? No, it’s not. If it’s not some abstract milk choice — thoughts on pea milk? — to pair with the shot (or double) of coffee, it’s then only a requirement for the latte to be “extra hot,” “weak” or “half-shot”. In other words, a barista’s worst nightmare. Coffee order aside, latte drinkers are usually pretty laid back — a morning brunch meet can roll well into the afternoon. Latte sippers don’t mind cruising into work at 9am, only to head to their local cafe anytime afterwards, officially clocking on around 10am. As for their style? They probably stray between the lines of ‘normcore’ and ‘gorpcore’ — clothes that have an inconspicuous, overly mass-market appeal. It’s all about utility, function and comfort, and you bet that nothing is getting in the way of these three pillars of dressing — much like their foam ratio.
The Long Black
Go, go, go… does the long black drinker ever stop? You’re a coffeeholic/workaholic/shopaholic, and so what? No one is judging. While you can’t get anything done without your morning coffee fix, you’re also hard-working and über particular in your choice of style and hues. Minimalism is at the core of your aesthetic in life and fashion. Think sleek silhouette staples, neutral tones, minimal patterning and tonal colours (black is likely the default choice from Monday to Friday, though). You’re a straight shooter, just like your rotation of sleek straight leg trousers, who doesn’t take “no” for an answer. Except, when asked for milk.
The Pour Over
Are you a trendsetter or a trend-follower? In terms of coffee speak, you’re into all the latest coffee tech and likely have a Moccamaster to brew your own batchies. But when not weighing and grinding your own beans for the perfect pour, you’re at your local trendy cafe waiting 5-10 minutes for that perfect pour over brew. Maybe it’ll cost you $10, maybe $20; it depends on the beans and where they’re sourced, right? As for your style personality, you’re a Stephen Kubrick lover and a Marxist preacher, who “couldn’t care less about trends or fashion” — except, well, you do, spending hours sifting through vintage stores for that archival Supreme jacket worth hundreds. You’ll also secretly line up for the designer warehouse sale, armed only with caffeine and the latest imported edition of The New Yorker.
The Cappuccino
Is anyone really still drinking cappuccinos in 2023? Ok, we sort of get it: it’s a safe order. It tastes familiar, and it’s sort of bubbly and warm. It reminds you of nan, maybe? So, we’re going to assume that’s how you like to play it in the fashion stakes, too… safe! Think classic looks with simplicity in mind. Your wardrobe is filled with classic, tailored garments, and you usually take some time to put your outfits together — much like your procrastination as to whether you really need the chocolate on top this time (answer: you do). But hey, there’s no room for a faux pas, right?
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