EXCLUSIVE 'If I carried on then my wife would leave me': Union J's Josh Cuthbert gushes over 'his rock' Chloe Lloyd as he candidly opens up about his ongoing mental health battle

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Josh Cuthbert gushed over 'his rock' Chloe Lloyd as he candidly opened up about his mental health battle in an interview with MailOnline.

The Union J star, 30, admitted he experienced suicidal thoughts while at his lowest during the pandemic and feared wife Chloe, 30, 'would leave him'.

In an exclusive interview, Josh detailed his ongoing struggle with depression and anxiety in a bid to raise awareness on the taboo topic. 

Candid: Josh Cuthbert gushed over 'his rock' Chloe Lloyd as he candidly opened up about his mental health battle

The singer explained that the pandemic 'accelerated' the negative thoughts and feelings he was having: 'It was the first year of Covid and I was in a really difficult place, I was feeling very depressed and anxious, there were times when I just didn't want to be here.'

Josh, who tied the knot with Chloe in 2018, said: 'I got in such a bad headspace that it got to the point where if I carried on then my wife would leave me because it was unbearable for her to be around me so something had to be done.'

Josh revealed his family helped him check into the Hoffman Institute in October 2020, costing around £3,000 per week.  

He explained: 'You hand your phone in, you have no contact with the outside world, it's just you and professional therapists helping you understand why you feel the way you do. 

'As dramatic as it sounds, it saved my life. Since then, I've had regular therapy which I'm really proud of. I think it's important for people to know having therapy isn't a weakness and you shouldn't be embarrassed.'

Tough time: The Union J star, 30, told MailOnline that he experienced suicidal thoughts while at his lowest during the pandemic and feared wife Chloe, 30, 'would leave him'

Josh gushed over his wife Chloe: 'She was my rock, she stood by me through a long challenging period. People don't realise how tough it is on the partners of people who suffer with mental health, it's not talked about and they don't have support. 

'We naturally as humans take it out on the people we love and that's what I did with Chloe, there were times I was awful and horrible to be around. 

'A lot of people in her situation would have packed their bags. I think she knew the real Josh and that's what kept her with me.

'When I look back now I think if Chloe would have left me, it actually scares me thinking about that because of the head space I was in I already had suicidal thoughts over the years that it might have tipped me over the edge and that's scary.' 

Josh, who tied the knot with Chloe in 2018, said: 'I got in such a bad headspace that it got to the point where if I carried on then my wife would leave me because it was unbearable for her to be around me so something had to be done.'

Josh, who has been working on his career as a model, first rose to fame as a contestant on The X Factor in 2012, but later quit his boyband Union J in 2018.

The band, who recently reunited for a 10 year anniversary concert, came fourth in the competition and later signed a recording contract with Sony, but life in the public eye hasn't been easy for Josh as he detailed the 'lack of support' he received during the early stage of his career.

He explained: 'It was a lot to take on at a young age with nowhere near enough support. We went from doing normal jobs to being in the music industry and having fans. It was incredible how much pressure we were put under. 

'Singing was my passion, so it was a dream come true at the same time. You don't think of the impact it'll have on your mental health because you don't know what mental health is at 19.'

Mental health battle: Josh revealed his family helped him check into the Hoffman Institute in October 2020, costing around £3000 per week

Josh expected there to have been 'more support' for him and his band members Jaymi Hensley, JJ Hamblett and George Shelley, while revealing: 'unfortunately a lot of us are paying the price for the lack of care we received during our journey.'

'I'm very grateful for the platform X Factor gave us but the reality is being young lads you're going into the industry and swallowed up. They know that because before us there was One Direction and JLS so we weren't the first boy band.

'I just feel there could have been a lot more help or just someone checking in every six months from the show, I don't know who that person would be but they could have had a person to assign to each act. 

'It's a really difficult topic to speak about but I'd love to hear these kinds of shows talk more about it.'

Fame: Josh first rose to fame as a contestant on The X Factor in 2012, but later quit his boyband Union J in 2018 (pictured with JJ Hamblett, Jaymi Hensley and George Shelley in 2014)

Josh bravely admitted: 'For a long time, I've been insecure about so many things, it's crippling and that led me to feel anxious and I wouldn't want to leave the house. 

'I just didn't understand it or how to deal with it and that's why I want to make sure other people out there know don't feel alone, especially men. 

'I didn't have anyone to look up to or take inspiration from, I ant to be that guy for other men out there so they know they aren't alone.'

Josh, who has built up a huge Instagram following of 444k, wants people to openly discuss mental health and not be 'embarrassed' about seeking help. 

He admitted: 'Those feelings are definitely still there, there's events I still won't go to because my anxiety takes over, my insecurities take over and tell me I'm not good enough or I look s**t and I'll have to cancel, that still happens a lot.

'but you know I am better, I'm openly honest about being on medication for my mental health. 

'I take anti-depressants and I have done for the last year and a bit, they take the edge off things for me.'

For confidential support call the Samaritans on 116123 or visit a local Samaritans branch, see www.samaritans.org for details

Josh expected there to have been 'more support' for him and his band members, while revealing: ' unfortunately a lot of us are paying the price for the lack of care we received during our journey.'