A floating blue cottage, plastic wisteria... and mysterious bumps in the night: What it's REALLY like sleeping in the fully functioning house sailing down London's River Thames

  • Airbnb's blue cottage has spent the week floating down the Thames past Chelsea, Westminster and is now docked at Canary Wharf
  • The functional Floating House has two bedrooms, a living room, bathroom and garden with real grass, a dog kennel and an apple tree
  • The project is in celebration of new home-sharing rules in London and one winner and three friends can win a night on board

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At around 1am, there's an ominous judder, followed by a low rumbling gurgle.

Have we hit an iceberg? Maybe it's a shark? It is most probably a rogue City banker who has lost his way and stumbled into our garden. 

Tonight I'm sleeping on Airbnb's Floating House, a cute pastel blue cottage inspired by a cross between Pixar's Up and the posh homes of Primrose Hill.

It's a 'fully functioning' house with two bedrooms, a living room, bathroom and a garden with real grass, a dog kennel and an apple tree, but essentially it is a couple of shipping containers squished together, painted blue and floating on the Thames.  

Airbnb's Floating House has been pulled up and down the Thames throughout the week passing Chelsea, Westminster and Canary Wharf

That is, until you take a look inside. Sticking to the Airbnb rental status quo - upcycling meets Ikea -  it's all yellows, grays, textured rugs, clean lines and coffee table books featuring Damian Hirst. There are some neat nautical touches: a telescope, an old-fashioned compass and even a wooden ship's wheel next to the kitchen sink.

In the rooms, the beds are big, with huge puffy cushions and windows that over look the river and up to the huge shiny buildings of Canary Wharf.  

But one can't actually sail the Floating House, it has been pulled up and down the Thames all week by a tug boat, which is probably just as well. 

After dinner at a local pub, I arrive back to my home for the night with my companion, and given half the chance, we'd have tried to take the house boat for a surreptitious spin.

The functioning house features two cosy bedrooms, an Ikea clad living room and a garden with a dog kennel, bird house and apple tree 

The functioning house features two cosy bedrooms, an Ikea clad living room and a garden with a dog kennel, bird house and apple tree 

Cosy interiors: The living area is kitted out in comfortable retro furniture (left). Emily tries her hand at manning the decks (right)
Cosy interiors: The living area is kitted out in comfortable retro furniture (left). Emily tries her hand at manning the decks (right)

The living area is kitted out in comfortable retro furniture while the kitchen comes fully equipped, left. Emily mans the decks, right

It's late evening and there's a steady stream of workers trotting past, peering over the garden wall. This is probably the only time I will get to sleep in one of London's most exclusive areas - albeit onboard a wonky floating cottage. 

I'm pleased to report that everything on board works, the water runs warm, there's tea and coffee in the kitchen and we don't even have to make polite conversation with any hosts.  

But sleep doesn't come too easily. Thanks to those hard-working folk at JP Morgan et al, the city lights flicker onto the Thames all through the night and my room is bright white. I'm also slightly disconcerted by the noises, but my companion assures they're just boaty noises and we're not being intruded upon.

It's a gusty night and the Floating House has no heating. But thankfully, the cosy rooms are kitted out with huge duvets and cushions so when I finally drift off, with the help of the vessel's gentle rocking motion, it is into a deep and satisfying sleep. It's surprisingly peaceful in the heart of London at night.

Inside, the Floating House echoes a typical Airbnb rental, with an eclectic Ikea-tinged look, arty coffee table books and retro furniture

Inside, the Floating House echoes a typical Airbnb rental, with an eclectic Ikea-tinged look, arty coffee table books and retro furniture

In the rooms, the beds are big, with puffy cushions and windows that over look the river and up to the huge  buildings of Canary Wharf

In the rooms, the beds are big, wit puffy cushions and windows that over look the river and up to the huge buildings of Canary Wharf

Airbnb's Floating House, a cute pastel blue cottage inspired by a cross between Pixar's Up and the posh homes of Primrose Hill

Airbnb's Floating House, a cute pastel blue cottage inspired by a cross between Pixar's Up and the posh homes of Primrose Hill

The devil's in the detail: The interior features nautical details such as an old fashioned compass and telescope
The devil's in the detail: The interior features nautical details such as an old fashioned compass and telescope

The devil's in the detail: The interior features nautical details such as an old fashioned compass, right, and telescope, left

Created by twin brothers Nick and Steve Tidball, the eight-metre house weighs 70 tonnes and took four months to build. It may look like a two-story house, but in fact the top windows were installed to create an optical illusion to make it look bigger. 

Although there are currently no plans for the future of the Floating House, Nick has big ideas. 'You give birth to a fairy tale and then it takes on a life of its own,' he says. 

He adds that he thinks it could sell for around a quarter of a million pounds and that he has one particular future owner in mind: 'I'd love Bear Grylls to buy it,' he says.

Created by twin brothers Nick and Steve Tidball, the eight-metre house weighs 70 tonnes and took four months to build
Created by twin brothers Nick and Steve Tidball, the eight-metre house weighs 70 tonnes and took four months to build

 Created by twin brothers Nick and Steve Tidball, the eight-metre house weighs 70 tonnes and took four months to build

Emily takes in the view from her own private garden on the River Thames

Emily takes in the view from her own private garden on the River Thames

The house was built to celebrate the new rules of home sharing which recently came into force allowing Londoners to share their homes with travellers for up to 90 days a year. 

James McClure, UK Country Manager commented: 'The Floating House is the ultimate celebration of home sharing and an unforgettable travel experience to bring to the UK. 

'London is already Airbnb's third largest city globally and one of the World's top tourist destinations. 

'With these new, clear rules on home sharing we expect more and more Londoners to open their homes to visitors from across the globe.'

In the morning, I peek out of my curtain at the plodding commuters outside. 

From inside this slightly psychedelic cottage floating on the Thames, it feels good to have escaped the norm. 

Now all I have to do is get dressed without being spotted by one of those pesky bankers.

To win the chance to stay on board the Airbnb Floating House on Friday 22nd May enter by midnight on Wednesday May 20, here.

 

 

 

 

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