Buzz·Posted on 16 Apr 201823 Tweets That'll Make You Chuckle Softly To YourselfPerfect for scrolling through while half-watching TV.by Jemima SkelleyBuzzFeed Staff, Australia 1. Zilla @GoodZiIIa me: to catch a murderer, you gotta think like a murderer police chief: what are you doing? me: [putting my hands around his neck] my job 07:32 PM - 12 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. tom @tom_harlock in 2018 i’m turnin my depressy into successy 09:20 PM - 10 Dec 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. wida @YoRHaw this comic strip from 1921 is really relatable to this day 12:39 AM - 15 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. Catherine🥂 @catherineburnsx Niamh is spelt Niamh but pronounced neve so why is Steve spelt Steve and not stiamh 01:11 PM - 07 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. Keep Calm and Carrion @JackOfQuills how did "the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" become the typical sentence that contains all letters of the alphabet and not "sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow" which is objectively a million times cooler 04:41 AM - 12 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Tyler Snodgrass @TylerSnod When telling a good story, you have to answer the following five things: - the Hoobastank - the Wherebastank - the Whenbastank - the Whybastank - the Howbastank 04:34 PM - 11 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Paul Bronks @BoringEnormous "just get in the car, Sandra, I'll explain on the way" 11:21 AM - 08 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. jamie loftus @jamieloftusHELP welcome to my gender reveal party. my reveal is that gender is a construct. also im not pregnant. i will be keeping your gifts. please leave my home. 05:23 AM - 08 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. poetic kate @poetickate will smith: sure! won’t smith: no. 09:28 PM - 04 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Ciara Knight @Ciara_Knight RONNIE FROM JERSEY SHORE DID A MATERNITY PHOTO SHOOT WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND AND THIS IS ONE OF THE PHOTOGRAPHS THAT THEY PAID REAL MONEY FOR https://t.co/A1wUIUZCIW 12:13 PM - 09 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Ali Plumb @AliPlumb I unironically love this joke. 06:40 PM - 08 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. Brendan O'Hare @brendohare I want this to be my gravestone. No description of who I was or when I lived. Just this 12:13 AM - 08 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Marf @MarfSalvador son: [kicking pile of leaves] yaaaaaay! me: [also kicking pile of leaves] yaaaaaay! wife: my salad! 01:07 PM - 12 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. kells @kschaef95 I can’t stop laughing at this 04:17 PM - 13 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. elv @_ElvishPresley_ me: I'd like one mcdouble please employee: sir, this is a Burger King me: ok one mcdouble please, ur majesty 06:26 PM - 13 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Georgina Lee @lee_georgina Guys, you could have avoided this mishap if just one woman had been consulted in the design process 10:07 AM - 15 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. 18. Bridie Jabour @bkjabour The most Daily Mail thing that the Daily Mail does is use “mother of three” as a descriptor for Beyonce 03:53 AM - 16 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Diamond @DiamondBucklei My piano teacher: *looks at my lock screen* awwww is that you as a baby ?? My lock screen: 07:41 PM - 09 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. alex tan @mineifiwildout white ppl spontaneously combust when u tell them the office isn't funny 03:33 AM - 08 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. spicyma @shiku___ my boyfriend was like "you want me to sing you to sleep?" i was like uh you've never sang me to sleep before what's going on here??? and this dude started yodeling like the lil boy from walmart oh my god 07:29 AM - 03 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Alison Agosti @AlisonAgosti I have two requests if I die unexpectedly: 1. Sprinkle my remains on each member of *NSYNC, even Chris 2. Do not cremate me 12:22 AM - 13 Mar 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. lucas 🦊 @lostboy im crying im so happy for them 03:18 AM - 02 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite