“The Love I Experienced Was Only Ever A Fetishization”: Suki Waterhouse Alluded To Her “Dark” And “Isolating” Split From Bradley Cooper

    “When something very public happens to you, and the story behind it is dark and difficult…you can’t explain yourself to the world, that’s very isolating and disorientating.”

    Ellen Durney
    by Ellen Durney

    BuzzFeed Staff

    In a new interview with British Vogue, Suki Waterhouse seemingly reflected on the painful aftermath of her split from Bradley Cooper.

    Bradley Cooper in a black suit and Suki Waterhouse wearing sunglasses, sit closely at a sporting event, surrounded by other attendees
    Karwai Tang / WireImage

    For context, Bradley and Suki started dating in 2013, when he was 38 and she was 21. As you may remember, their age difference was a topic of controversy all the way up to their eventual split in 2015.

    Suki Waterhouse in a sleeveless dress and Bradley Cooper in a suit and sunglasses, smile at an outdoor event
    David M. Benett / Getty Images

    Conversations about the couple’s age gap arguably peaked when Bradley, then 38, was photographed reading Lolita to a then-21-year-old Suki in a park in Paris.

    Suki has previously talked about being “depressed” in her 20s after experiencing “colossal heartbreak,” and now, speaking to Vogue, the 32-year-old has opened up more about that difficult time in her life.

    Suki Waterhouse wearing a sleeveless dress at the Emmys event on the red carpet
    Gilbert Flores / Variety via Getty Images

    Firstly, Suki talked about the inspiration behind her song “Brutally,” in which she sings about lost love and painful heartbreak. The song was recorded in 2016 — a year after her split from Bradley — and Suki admitted she was “so scared” to release it to the world.

    Suki Waterhouse and Bradley Cooper at a public event, Suki is embracing and whispering to a smiling Bradley, surrounded by other attendees
    Karwai Tang / WireImage

    “[I feel] so sad when I’m singing it,” she said. “So, so sad.”

    Though she feared she’d “never” recover from the sadness she felt when she wrote the song, Suki said she feels much stronger after having experienced something so “public” in her early 20s.

    Closeup of Suki Waterhouse
    Gareth Cattermole / Gareth Cattermole / Getty Images

    “I really will say that I’m pretty strong at this point, but when something very public happens to you, and the story behind it is dark and difficult, and you’re actually not doing well, and you can’t explain yourself to the world, that’s very isolating and disorientating,” she said.

    In the interview, Suki didn’t explicitly say she was talking about her split from Bradley. However, she specified that the heartbreak she recalls happened about 10 years ago, which aligns with their split timeline.

    Bradley Cooper smiling, wearing a casual dark sweater and a gray shirt underneath
    Mike Coppola / Getty Images

    “It probably has taken a decade to work myself out and actually be able to have this expansion in my life,” she said, adding that the pain “always stays in you.”

    Talking more about how she’s healed with time, Suki — who recently welcomed a child with her partner of six years, Robert Pattinson — compared relationships in her 20s and 30s.

    Suki Waterhouse and Robert Pattinson at a formal event. Suki wears a floral-embroidered dress, and Robert is in a suit with a unique brooch
    Jamie Mccarthy / Getty Images

    “Your 20s are pretty sadistic. The love I experienced [then] was only ever a fetishization, and I think when you only get loved in that way, you only get punished,” she said. 


    “When you get into your 30s you’re almost instantly afforded a little bit more respect. It’s kind of delightful and shocking at the same time,” she went on.

    Despite all the pain, Suki clarified that everything played out how it was supposed to, saying: “I wouldn’t take anything back.”

    Suki Waterhouse poses on the red carpet in an elegant strapless dress and a blazer, accessorized with a statement necklace
    Stefanie Keenan / Getty Images for Tiffany & Co.

    “I played a part in this; that was really unfair; this was really brutal — and you’re a lot more at peace with the whole story,” she said of past relationships. 


    “Sometimes you’re going to get an unfair shot, but there’s usually some form of karmic retribution, which I’ve definitely found with certain people. You watch their narrative play out and you’re like, ‘Haha, now everyone else knows you’re shit.’”

    Here’s where you can read Suki’s full British Vogue cover interview.