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May I have a word: The summertime thermostat wars

It’s a problem only Goldilocks could love — the search for a temperature that is neither too hot nor too cold when the Mercury soars.

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The challenge last time was “What might you call the struggle to find the perfect temperature in summer, when you’re too hot outside and too cold in the air-conditioned indoors?” I went on to explain that the word sought was for “a frustrating state of affairs or persnickety frame of mind.”

Karen Gallas, of Peacham, Vt., zeroed in on that stipulation. “I am writing from the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont,” she reported, “where many of us live because we favor moderate daytime summer temperatures with cool nights. We get persnickety very easily. I propose the word tempanomic to describe this condition. Anomic means ‘alienated, disoriented, unoriented, not having position or goal definitely set or ascertained.’ Becoming tempanomic happens (lately) in every season” — for instance, when it’s “too warm outside in winter, meaning the wood stove makes inside too hot.”

Elaine Greenstein, of Newton, thought temperfectionism would suit, and Todd Herrmann, of Peterborough, N.H., proposed temperate tantrum.

Howard Morris, of Needham, reasoned that the person in question “must be spending time measuring the temperatures, so they are a thermostatistician.”

Karen Mandell, of Lynnfield, combined temperature and frustration to get tempstration.

Susan Erickson, of Maynard, wrote: “I would characterize that situation as having goose-sweats. When you are outside and it’s hot, you are sweating and you go inside. But there, it’s too chilly and your sweat turns to goosebumps. So I combined the two words.”

Clever and apt, Susan. According to no less an authority than Martha Stewart’s blog, however, “Geese don’t sweat like humans, so to keep cool on very warm summer days, they open their mouths and ‘flutter’ their neck muscles to promote heat loss.” So goose-flutters would be more accurate, but I’m afraid it’s unlikely to get the point across.

If you can believe it, I received five submissions riffing on Goldilocks and the Three Bears, from Robert (Goldilockstemp) Coyne, of Lexington; Edward (Goldilocks and the Three Airs) De Vos, of West Newton; Jim (the Goldilocks-ers) Dexter, of Methuen; Pat (degrees of Goldilocks) Nicholson, of Falmouth; and Barbara Leventhal, of Raynham, who cut straight to “The porridge is just right.

Edith Maxwell, of Amesbury, wrote: “For those seeking a temperature middle ground during warm weather, may I suggest fanfans? Some among us close up the house after the cool of the night, lower the shades, and use fans to keep cool indoors until after sunset.”

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A not quite fan of fans is Al F., of North Attleboro. He reported: “An answer to your prompt immediately came to mind: marriage. My wife likes the temp cooler, I’m OK warmer. We negotiate over all things related to the indoor temperature: thermostat and pellet stove settings, drapes, open/closed doors and windows, box fan Off/Med/High.”

Marc McGarry, of Newton Highlands, has the opposite problem. He writes: “My wife loves heat and humidity; I loathe it. We joke that there are five days a year when we’re both happy with the temperature. Can one vacillate between being chilled or grilled? I also offer tug-of-warm.

Mark Sheldon, of Burlington, told me: “When it gets really hot outside, I become conflicted on whether to go inside and get air-conditioned or stay outside and enjoy one of our numbered summer days. I would call this air-conflictioning.”

And Marianne Dudek, of Concord, N.H., came up with “heatwavering — as in a heatwave, but you can’t decide whether you want to be out in the heat or in the frigid indoors.”

With all due respect to Goldilocks, I’d say heatwavering is just right. Marianne, thank you. You get to brag this time. Well done!

What’s next? I recently had the privilege of being interviewed about this column by Jim Mora for Radio New Zealand National’s popular “Sunday Morning” program, of which he is the host. Although I forget why, in the course of that conversation, he suggested I invite ye to come up with “a collective term for all the biting, stinging, pesky insects that follow us around in warm weather.” OK! Consider yourselves invited.

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Send your ideas for Jim Mora’s word to me at Barbara.Wallraff@globe.com by noon on Friday, June 21, and kindly tell me where you live. Responses may be edited. And please keep in mind that meanings in search of words are always welcome.

Barbara Wallraff is a writer and editor in Cambridge.