Would you pay $60 for one wine glass? Yes, “one,” as in the number. I’ve always said no. I’m all about having easily replaceable, standard glasses that can afford falling victim to rowdy dinner parties. The hand-blown, award-winning Zalto wine glasses from Austria did not fit into that model, especially at $59 a pop. And then, I got married. My registry had three sizes of serving platters, two linen sheet sets, and zero Zaltos. Yet here I am, with the same old sheets and a set of universal Zalto wine glasses that I have fallen in love with, despite the fact they also crush my soul a little.
Zaltos are the Olympic gymnasts of wine glasses: graceful and well-balanced. Upon picking up the glass, you almost feel like you’re going to break the damn thing it’s so light, and the stem is so delicate that your pinky immediately sticks out like a reflex. The base is substantial and sturdy, so that while you think it’s about to break, it will hold its own. The bowls of Zalto glasses are ultra-thin and designed at the specific angles of 24°, 48° and 72°. These are, per their website, “in accordance to the tilt angles of the Earth,” which supposedly create “cosmic parallels” that make the wine smell and taste better.
As someone who does not currently collect crystals and is also skeptical of how much a glass can really affect a wine (swigging straight from the bottle is a standard part of my wine reviewing process), I decided to conduct a highly scientific experiment of side-by-side tastings with my fancy-schmancy new universal Zaltos and my tried-and-true standard glasses from Crate & Barrel that I love.
Look, I hate to tell you this, but wine is better from a Zalto. I tried it with both white and red wines, tried it with different temperatures, tried it with different alcohol percentages. Each wine smelled and tasted smoother from the Zaltos. Incredulous, I pulled out big-bowled red wine glasses, midcentury-styled crystal white wine glasses, the last remaining wine glass of my grandmother’s, a half-pound chalice from The Madonna Inn. It drove me insane to find the Zaltos continuously crushing every other glass I owned.
But drinking from them is also kind of stressful. I’ve found myself constantly hawk-eyeing them, pushing them away from table edges, wincing as friends bounded around my kitchen with them in hand. I broke my first one this past week, barely hitting it against the upholstered arm of my couch, and literally screamed. Now they’re hidden in a cupboard with a sticky note that says “DO NOT TOUCH.”
Despite the fact that they make me feel like an asshole for caring so much about freaking wine glasses, my whole life is wine. And Zaltos are now my preferred glass.
But are Zaltos for you? That is a question only you can answer, but I have created this graph I called the “Party-Wine Axis” to help. The graph evaluates how likely you are to break wine glasses, as defined by “Party Style,” and how interested in wine you are, as defined by “Wine Love.” By finding the intersection of these two variables, you can see how essential (or not) Zalto wine glasses are for you.
If you find yourself in Zone One…
You don’t party much, but you also do not care about wine. Frankly, I can’t believe you’re still reading this but I’m glad you are, because I want you to know Zaltos are probably not for you. Take your $60 and put it towards virtually anything else.
If you find yourself in Zone Two…
You’re somewhere between liking a glass of whatever wine is around and being a drummer in a band who is known for smashing beer cans on his head. That is a very large “in-between”, so the collection of mason jars you’re currently serving wine out of is totally fine.
If you find yourself in Zone Three…
You consider yourself an avid and adventurous wine drinker, and know how to pick out a tasting note or three, but you’re not entirely sure you need professional-grade glasses. You’re right, you probably don’t need them, but you would probably appreciate them, especially as a gift (hint hint).
If you find yourself in Zone Four…
You’re club member at all your favorite wineries. You are the friend everyone hands the restaurant wine list to. You will love Zaltos and they will be excellent for quiet evenings when you can truly enjoy a bottle. But they will not live through one of your pool parties. Keep your glasses out of reach, or be prepared to be spending on replacements.
If you find yourself in Zone Five…
Wine is one of your life’s great passions. Few things thrill you like trying new bottles, savoring glasses, and sharing with friends. Honestly, you love wine so f***ing much that you should probably get these glasses. They will make a difference, and you will value that difference.
If you find yourself in Zone Six…
I assume you are some sort of Rick Ross, in which case, you are probably already drinking out of Zaltos and your assistant has been replacing them at an ungodly rate.
Marissa Ross is the author of Wine. All the Time.: The Casual Guide to Confident Drinking—out this month! Pre-order it when you're adding Zaltos to your Amazon cart deep into the night.