Welcome to Delicious or Distressing, where we rate recent food memes, videos, and other entertainment news. Last week we discussed the resolution to Lana Del Rey’s waffle house mystery.
Taylor Swift stopped the world in its tracks this week simply by placing her physical form at a Kansas City Chiefs game to cheer on rumored new boyfriend and tight end Travis Kelce. At said game, she ate chicken tenders with a side of “ketchup and seemingly ranch,” according to fan account @tswifterastour, and these four speculative words immediately rocked the condiment industry and compelled the Empire State Building’s engineers, whoever they may be, to light up its facade in red and white. Improbable is her societal influence—pervasive to the degree that my TikTok FYP is feeding me content from Travis and Jason Kelce’s podcast, and I am willingly watching it.
Also this week, McDonald’s released two new dipping sauces, one of them chili crisp-adjacent. A TikToker is touting the benefits of housing three carrots a day in order to achieve a natural, glowy tan. Lastly, the Sims, creeping eerily closer each day to the human form, can now be lactose intolerant. The singularity is near. —Li Goldstein, digital production assistant
Read more about ranch gate and other food news around the internet below.
What could Taylor Swift’s ‘seemingly ranch’ really be? BA staffers weigh in
Taylor Swift exhibited human behavior this week, and it is, to say the least, a huge deal. The internet was set ablaze when she was pictured at a Kansas City Chiefs game eating chicken tenders with, as one fan account tweeted, “Ketchup and seemingly ranch!” A bunch of brand accounts tweeted their own version of the joke—Hidden Valley Ranch changed its name on X to “Seemingly Ranch,” Heinz is fully releasing a new sauce called “Ketchup and Seemingly Ranch,” and the Empire State Building’s X account posted a photo of the building lit up in white and red to celebrate.
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As people who think about food all the time, here at BA we were stuck on the word seemingly and took it upon ourselves to try to identify the sauce. (It’s a quiet Friday afternoon.) When polled, BA staffers were dubious that it was indeed ranch on Swift’s plate. Senior editor Joe Sevier thought it couldn’t possibly be ranch because there were “no specks” to speak of, proposing watered-down yogurt or sour cream instead. Senior cooking editor Emma Laperruque ruled out mayonnaise because the dip in the photo looked “too thin” in consistency. Associate culinary producer Leslie Rainey, a former resident of Kansas City where this drama took place, suggested it could be white BBQ sauce, a popular condiment in the area: “KC is a big BBQ city,” she said. “It could make its way into the concessions.”
Production manager Matt Carson noted the location, Arrowhead Stadium, and associate cooking editor Zoe Denenberg found a catering menu that featured sauces possibly served at the stadium: French onion dip and blue cheese dressing. Epicurious senior commerce editor Noah Kaufman shared a recent Instagram post from Levy Restaurants, a company providing food to suites at Arrowhead Stadium, that seemed to close the case: “Chicken Tenders (Taylor’s Version) served with ketchup and ranch,” its caption read. Was it ranch all along? It’s a new part of the menu, so potentially not what Taylor was offered last weekend. Needless to say Taylor’s reps could not be reached for comment.
Ranch-or-not-ranch speculation aside, it’s actually stunning how quickly a lighthearted meme will be repurposed by brands (yes, including this one). It’s ultimately excessive, but I am positively terrified of the Taylor stans, so in terms of rating the event for this column, I don't have anything negative to say at all! Seemingly ranch! Love it! I’m rating this delicious, if only so that Swifties don't hunt me down with pitchforks. 5/5 delicious. —Sam Stone, staff writer
A TikToker is eating three giant carrots a day to get tan
How far would you go for a tan? This determined TikToker, for one, is eating three large carrots to achieve a glowy hue. “Hopefully in three weeks I’m orange,” @tiktokunbanmepls says on day two of her experiment with a mouthful of Jif peanut butter. She corrects: “Tan-orange.” It’s unclear what prompted her, um, routine. But dermatologists have warned that, if you’re white, too much beta-carotene (responsible for carrot’s color) could turn your hands and feet the shade of a certain former President. It’s also not for the faint-hearted: “Erghh, I’m not in the mood to eat three carrots today,” she says on day four.
More concerning than her carrot habit, and her future “summer camper who simply cannot get enough of the tie-dye station” look, are the comments she’s getting online. Chiefly, people are concerned with her peanut-butter pairing. Some say it’s disgusting. Others have told her it’s going to make her gain weight. “Zip it,” she tells her haters. I don’t want to eat three carrots dipped in peanut butter every day but I do want to live in a world where people don’t yuck my yums. 4.7/5 distressing for the trolls. —Ali Francis, staff writer
McDonald’s just released two limited-time-only dipping sauces
I have a theory that I’ve been calling, as of writing this blurb, Lao Gan Ma’s Law: Given enough time, eventually all food brands will undergo a chili crispification. The Sichuan topping has exploded in popularity over the past few years in the US, and beyond the already thriving market of chili crisp brands, major food companies have gotten in on the excitement: Trader Joe’s, Hidden Valley (of ranch fame), and now, McDonald’s, with its limited-time launch of Sweet & Spicy Jam starting October 9.
Okay, it’s not really chili crisp at all. But look at the ingredients: cayenne pepper, red bell pepper, apple cider vinegar…and Sichuan peppercorn. This is as close as McD’s might get to the chili crisp craze, and according to the reviews, it’s not too shabby or, crucially, too sweet. It’s part of a dual sauce launch alongside the new tomato-based Mambo Sauce, which is also spicy, featuring both cayenne and chili peppers. Typically mambo or mumbo sauce, historically beloved by Black communities in Washington, D.C. and Chicago, tastes a bit like barbecue sauce, only sweeter and spicier.
“We get inspiration for the food our fans love by exploring the incredible tastes and flavors found in communities across the country," says Tariq Hassan, Chief Marketing and Customer Experience Officer at McDonald’s USA in a press release. I can only applaud McDonald’s for trying to be inclusive of people of higher spice tolerance. Finally, some representation where it matters. 4.4/5 delicious. —Karen Yuan, culture editor
There are lactose intolerant Sims, and dairy-free options for them
Not to brag but growing up I had all the Sims expansion packs. My favorite was Hot Date because I loved watching cartoon adult-me get freaky under the covers. I was an uber fan, but kid-me would not have seen one of the franchise’s latest, decidedly less hot updates coming: Lactose intolerance.
The new culinary-themed expansion, called the Home Chef Hustle pack, lets your Sim specify exactly what they’re cooking: It’s pizza and lasagna but make it lactose-free for the virtual IBS girlies. According to PC Games, now your Sims can make more informed choices on whether “they want to suffer the consequences of eating dairy.” (Players will also be able to select vegetarian options and Sims will prepare food that “reflects their appliance quality, current mood, and skill level.”) I don’t suffer from IBS but I’m allied with those who do—and I’m glad they’re getting Sims representation. Also, notably, kid Sims can now access the ice-cream machine unsupervised. No fair! 4/5 delicious (one point docked for the soft-serve gatekeeping). —A.F.
