Welcome to Delicious or Distressing, where we rate recent food memes, videos, and other entertainment news. Last week we discussed TikTok’s latest flavor fad, ‘Swicy.’
After some bumps and blunders and a healthy dose of reputational damage, The Great British Bake Off has undergone a radical facelift ahead of its next season. First, I was startled to discover, a la the Mandela effect, that GBBO is called The Great British Baking Show in the United States, where Pillsbury owns the trademark on the phrase “bake off.” After bidding adieu to controversial former host Matt Lucas, the show now is also nixing its national-themed weeks, such as its poorly executed, cringe, and blatantly racist “Mexico Week.” Baby steps, I guess.
Also this week, US Open spectators are getting absolutely sloshed, and apparently it’s causing some disruption to the players and fellow fans. How else is one to ride the heat wave if not for successive Honey Deuces? Caffeinated Cup Noodles are hitting the supermarket shelves, targeting gamers. Lastly, Gwenyth Paltrow filmed herself touting the benefits of a probiotic pill in extremely absurdist fashion, which feels right.
Here’s what’s happening in food moments on the internet this week.
This is your annual reminder that The Great British Bake Off will premier its new season in mere days. This year, though, they're doing things differently—or so they say. In addition to leaving out Matt Lucas, this season will reportedly also skip the national-themed episodes that often drew criticism for being...you know, sort of overtly racist in their execution. "The world has changed, and the joke fell flat," a producer told The Guardian. To me, that's a weird way of saying our hosts and contestants said a lot of pretty ignorant things during Mexico Week about a culture with a rich culinary history that they knew approximately nothing about, but what do I know? Anyways, hopefully no one forgets to turn on their oven! This news gets a sweaty, misguided 4.5/5 distressing. —Sam Stone, staff writer
Breaking news: People are having too much fun at the US Open and many fans are upset. It seems many audience members and some players are upset that some US Open spectators are getting too drunk and, reportedly, smoking so much weed it's making the entire stadium smell like weed smoke—a feat that's frankly as impressive as it is distressing. Listen, it seems like there are certainly people at the US Open who are behaving badly and safety is of the utmost importance. But if there's one thing you have to expect people to do at a sporting event, it's drink enough to make it interesting. One solution, in my humble opinion, might be making the sport of tennis more attention-grabbing. My suggestions: a high-production-value half-time show starring Rihanna; tennis players physically fight each other at the beginning of the match to determine who serves first; encouraging smack talk on the court. I don't know, just one humble genius's thoughts. I'm giving this news a sloppy, slurring, 3.8/5 distressing. —Sam Stone, staff writer
You’ve heard of Red Bull and Cup Noodles—now get ready for the cursed lovechild. This week in the collapse of society, noodle maker Nissin announced the launch of its latest creation: caffeinated Cup Noodles, available in Asia from September 18. Targeting dedicated gamers who need a late-night fix to battle demons and ward off sleep, the noodles will be flavored with either garlic and black pepper or curry. Both products are broth-free, “so there is no need to worry about getting your hands or peripherals dirty, making them the perfect meal in between game-playing sessions,” stated the brand’s press release. The gamers are apparently stoked: “The most powerful buff meal,” one person wrote on X. For the rest of us, it’s giving, no one can save us from ourselves. May as well eat the noods. A highly tweaked 4.9/5 distressing. —Ali Francis, staff writer
Last week, Gwyneth Paltrow reached dazzling new heights of Gwynethness. In a now-viral ad, the radiant Goop maven is sitting at her kitchen table sucking on one of Seed’s small green probiotic capsules. Her soliloquy about the supposed health benefits of said pill—“It’s so good for bloating and regularity,” she deadpans the camera—is punctuated by the sound of a literal bull in a literal china shop. (It’s her son Moses, “steaming some milk.”) Gwyn does not even swallow the capsule—the tease of it all! Everyone on the internet thinks she was paid to make the video, but we’re talking about the woman who sued a rogue skier for, ahem, one dollar. Vulture confirmed the content was not paid (just Gwynie being Gwynie); Seed simply loved the clip so much the brand later turned it into an ad. I shan’t be adding to cart, but I am over here repeatedly smashing the like button. Going with a gut feeling here: 4.7/5 delicious. —Ali Francis, staff writer