A Skeptic Tries

To me, they just seem like the first draft of a breakfast food—floppy, unformed, plenty of room for improvement.

How a vile, disgusting, and absolutely adolescent prank almost ruined the condiment for me.

As an Australian, I am hence qualified to be the judge of this salty Brooklyn slice.

I’d dodged red candy all my life. Until, in a late night delirium, a handful of sweet little fish swam right into my mouth.

In an era that glorifies hustling, keeping calm and caffeine-free is my small act of resistance.

When oatmeal for breakfast was deemed essential for my health, I decided it was finally time to choke those gooey grains down.

I’d been so focused on finding 'authentic' restaurants that I ignored one of the most American foods of them all.