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Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story Paperback – May 6, 2018

by Wendy Kramer (Author), Jen Moore (Illustrator)

4.3 30 ratings

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How do you tell your child that they were conceived with the help of a donor, and then address curiosity about half siblings and/or the donor?

Wendy Kramer, Co-Founder and Director of the Donor Sibling Registry, makes it easy and fun! A first-of-its-kind book for kids involving half sibling and donor references. Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story is illuminated in fun, easy-to-understand graphics and factual reproductive descriptions. Inclusive of all family types.

The book starts with the parent's desire to have a baby, the use of a donor, and then broaches the topic of half siblings and biological parents/donors. A perfect book for (the millions of) donor-conceived children to learn about how they were conceived and for understanding that being curious about their unknown genetic origins and relatives is natural. These early conversations are integral to creating a happy and healthy donor child and family.

Pages are included at the end of the book for the child to paste images or draw relatives, with interactive text and colorful anecdotes.

Reading age

2 - 10 years
Print length

40 pages
Language

English
Grade level

Kindergarten - Preschool
Dimensions

8.5 x 0.1 x 8.5 inches
Publisher

Donor Sibling Registry
Publication date

May 6, 2018
ISBN-10

0692106936
ISBN-13

978-0692106938
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story fills a noticeable gap in LGBTQ family books. While others have discussed how we make our babies, Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story takes the next step in addressing what can often be an elephant in the room for our families. The existence of donor siblings, and how to navigate those relationships, is deeply personal and family-specific. For those who are looking for a way to help their children understand the breadth of their biological relationships, Your Family: A Donor Kid's Storydoes an incredible, age-appropriate job at laying the framework in an interactive, light hearted way." - Amanda Hopping-Winn, Chief Program Officer, Family Equality Council

"A lovely book for children who were conceived with donor sperm or egg. Parents in all kinds of families will find it very helpful in explaining their child's conception story in a gentle, simple, and positive way. " - Jane Mattes, L.C.S.W., psychotherapist and Founder/Director of Single Mothers by Choice

"A much-needed resource for parents and children in families created by donor conception. The author, Wendy Kramer, has a wealth of experience and a real understanding of the needs of donor conception families. This book will foster curiosity and inspire conversations in families where children want to learn more about their donor origins and connections." - Dr. Tabitha Freeman, Centre for Family Research, University of Cambridge

"Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story is a wonderful book that affirms the experience of children who have been donor-conceived. It's important for families to have a book like this to read to their kids, so that their children can understand who they are and where they came from. Wendy Kramer's book is long overdue!" - Jacqueline Mroz, author of Scattered Seeds: In Search of Family and Identity in the Sperm Donor Generation

"What a beautiful way to help donor children make sense of their stories! Wendy Kramer's open-hearted new book sees the love in families of all kinds and honors kids' curiosity about their genetic connections. This book will help donor children recognize themselves--it acknowledges that their families are real and worth getting to know, in all their possibilities. I wish I'd had this book when I was young..." - Sara Lamm, documentary filmmaker and donor-conceived person

"A creative and comfortable way to talk to our donor-conceived kids about their origins." - Ann Dixon, Co-founder, Serendip Studio

"As a psychotherapist, I work with many LGBT parents of donor conceived children who struggle to find the right language to speak to their children about the circumstance of their birth. They are also often afraid that learning about their donors and potential donor siblings will be upsetting or confusing to their children. Finally, I have a book to recommend to them! Your Family: A Donor Kid's Storyis the perfect combination of honest, loving, and positive. I am keeping a pile of copies in my office. " - Liz Margolies, LCSW, psychotherapist and mother of a donor-conceived child

"Wow! I wish I'd had this book when I was growing up. It would have explained everything. It should be given to every donor kid." - B. Richard, donor-conceived college student

From the Author

In 2000 my then ten year old donor-conceived son Ryan and I started the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR).  It was born out of his curiosity about possible half siblings and about his own biological father, a man only known to us as donor 1058. From the beginning, the DSR's mission has been to connect, educate and support all those in the donor family, first and foremost being the donor-conceived children.

18 years later, with 60,000 members in 105 countries, and with many research studies and published papers, we've come to understand much about everyone in the donor family.  With almost 20,000 people connected on the DSR, we've heard from thousands of them about the profound and important familial connections that take place every single day.  We know that it's important for donor offspring to be told about their origins right from the start - but telling is only the first step. Donor-conceived children must also feel understood about their own curiosities and eagerness to connect with their first and second-degree genetic relatives, and their desire to know more about their ancestry. To quote Bruce Springsteen, " You can't really know who you are, and where you're going unless you know where you came from".

Over the years, I have been asked many times to recommend a children's book about being donor-conceived, being curious about half siblings and donors, and about making those connections. Here it is! I have tried in this book to be sensitive to everyone in the donor family. Because terminology is a hot button, I use several terms to describe both half siblings (donor siblings) and biological parents (donors). I believe that parents should be as accurate as possible with the terminology, knowing that most kids, at some point, will want to try on all the terms. Terminology will likely change over the years, with maturity and the ability to define these relationships for themselves. I encourage all parents to think deeply and critically about the terminology so that all donor kids feel supported and free to use any of and all of the words that they need to as they grow up.  Because there are an infinite number of combinations of family type, parent type, donor type, sibling type and child type, we show many types of kids and families. After reading each page, parents can springboard into conversations with their child about how their own family is unique and special.

Children may go through many phases and levels of curiosity.  Some may be mildly curious, some not at all, and some have a burning desire to know their first and second-degree genetic relatives. Parents need to be ready to support and honor any curiosities that their child might have as they mature.
My hopes are that this book will be a great tool for opening up conversations between parents and young children with the goal, as always, to create happy and healthy donor families.
Wendy Kramer
wendy@donorsiblingregistry.com

From the Inside Flap

What people are saying...

A much-needed resource for parents and children in families created by donor conception. The author, Wendy Kramer, has a wealth of experience and a real understanding of the needs of donor conception families. This book will foster curiosity and inspire conversations in families where children want to learn more about their donor origins and connections. Dr Tabitha Freeman, Centre for Family Research, University of Cambridge
As a psychotherapist, I work with many LGBT parents of donor conceived children who struggle to find the right language to speak to their children about the circumstance of their birth. They are also often afraid that learning about their donors and potential donor siblings will be upsetting or confusing to their children. Finally, I have a book to recommend to them! Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story is the perfect combination of honest, loving, and positive. I am keeping a pile of copies in my office. Liz Margolies, LCSW, psychotherapist and mother of a donor-conceived child
Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story is a wonderful book that affirms the experience of children who have been donor-conceived. It's important for families to have a book like this to read to their kids, so that their children can understand who they are and where they came from. Wendy Kramer's book is long overdue! Jacqueline Mroz, author of Scattered Seeds: In Search of Family and Identity in the Sperm Donor Generation

Your Family gives children born from egg or sperm donation a chance to see themselves reflected in a positive, informative and accessible story. Most importantly, this book will help families who have used reproductive technology to explain complex concepts to their children while giving them vital information about themselves and how they came to be. Here's a book that is relatable and will allow children to feel proud of their special story. Susan Frankel, MFT, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and mother to a donor-conceived daughter

A lovely book for children who were conceived with donor sperm or egg . Parents in all kinds of families will find it very helpful in explaining their child's conception story in a gentle, simple, and positive way. Jane Mattes, L.C.S.W., psychotherapist and Founder/Director of Single Mothers by Choice
Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story fills a noticeable gap in LGBTQ family books. While others have discussed how we make our babies, Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story takes the next step in addressing what can often be an elephant in the room for our families. The existence of donor siblings, and how to navigate those relationships, is deeply personal and family-specific. For those who are looking for a way to help their children understand the breadth of their biological relationships, Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story does an incredible, age-appropriate job at laying the framework in an interactive, light hearted way. Amanda Hopping-Winn, Chief Program Officer, Family Equality Council
Having worked with Wendy Kramer for many years I know her organization Donor Sibling Registry (DSR) is valuable to the LGBTQ parenting community. We've published family stories that talk about how DSR has brought joy to not just the half siblings discovering each other but to their gay parents as well. Kramer's children's book Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story is an important contribution to the LGBTQ community and a great addition to the homes of all parents with donor-conceived children. Angeline Acain, publisher and editor, Gay Parent Magazine

As the proud Grandmother of a donor child, I am so pleased to see this wonderful book! I think it will help donor children understand just how special and loved they are. Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story allows parents to ease into giving the child the information they need for a complete life and for understanding how different families can look. Jacki K, grandmother

This easy-to-read, attractively illustrated book ought to be distributed to donor-conceived children and their parents as standard practice. It introduces to young children what it means to be donor-conceived, helps their parents broach an often awkward subject, and will help obviate any stigma surrounding children's origins. Such a little book could have made a major difference in my life growing up. Albert Frantz, donor-conceived adult

Cool book. Pretty sure it's the first book I ever got to read about donor siblings. It's good that someone's writing about kids with donor siblings because a lot of us have them. Kids without donor siblings should read this book too, because I get tired of having to explain my family to people. My favorite part of the book was when I got to write down questions I have for my donor. That was pretty cool. I hope a lot of people read this book. Gabrielle Capasso, Age 11

While I wish this book had been available back when my daughter was little and I desperately needed it, I'm thrilled to know that parents of donor kids now have a book that describes their family. I think Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story, will prove to be an invaluable tool--providing an inclusive, age appropriate way to celebrate each child's story and describe what makes their family so special. Thank you for creating such a beautiful story, it's been a long time coming. I highly recommend this book! Meredyth Capasso, mom to 11 year old Gabi
Thank you to Wendy and Ryan for all of their dedication and hard work bringing more openness, acceptance and connection of donor conceived people and families. As a donor conceived person, I had such a strong need to know my biological roots and family. I would have greatly benefited from being able to talk about being a donor conceived person at a young age. Thank you for this wonderful book to help parents talk about this aspect of their child's life with them. Children need to know that who they are is accepted and comfortable for their parents, and that they are able to talk about their life, no matter how they were created. Lynne W. Spencer, RN, MA , Author of Sperm Donor Offspring; Identity and Other Experiences

As a psychologist, I hear from parents who are frustrated with the lack of children-focused books on donor-conceived children's feelings and questions. Wendy's book encourages family discussions about the special opportunity of donor-sibling relationships. I'm looking forward to using her book both professionally and personally. Debbie Ramirez, Ph.D., mother to two egg donor-conceived children
A creative and comfortable way to talk to our donor-conceived kids about their origins. Ann Dixon, Co-founder, Serendip Studio
"What a beautiful way to help donor children make sense of their stories! Wendy Kramer's open-hearted new book sees the love in families of all kinds and honors kids' curiosity about their genetic connections. This book will help donor children recognize themselves--it acknowledges that their families are real and worth getting to know, in all their possibilities. I wish I'd had this book when I was young..." - Sara Lamm, documentary filmmaker and donor-conceived person

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Donor Sibling Registry; 2nd ed. edition (May 6, 2018)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 40 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0692106936
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0692106938
Reading age ‏ : ‎ 2 - 10 years
Grade level ‏ : ‎ Kindergarten - Preschool
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 4.2 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 8.5 x 0.1 x 8.5 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #1,036,381 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1,692 in Children's New Baby Books
- #3,280 in Children's Siblings Books (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.3 30 ratings

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Wendy Kramer

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Co-Founder and Director, Donor Sibling Registry (DSR)

Wendy is the Co-Founder and Director of the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR). The DSR was founded in 2000 with her donor-conceived son Ryan to assist individuals conceived as a result of sperm, egg, or embryo donation who are seeking to make mutually desired contact with others with whom they share genetic ties. With almost 85,000 members in 105 countries, the DSR has helped to connect more than 25,000 of them with their half-siblings and/or their biological parents, and Wendy has listened to and advised/consulted with thousands of these parents, donors, donor-conceived people, and other donor family members for more than two decades.

Wendy has conducted many research studies on all donor family members and is a co-author of the resulting peer-reviewed papers published in Social Science and Medicine, Human Reproduction, Reproductive BioMedicine & Society, Facts, Views & Vision in OB/GYN, Reproductive BioMedicine Online (RBMOnline), Advances in Reproductive Sciences, Contemporary Perspectives in Family Research, Fertility and Sterility, The Journal of Family Issues, Children and Society, The Journal of Law and the Biosciences, and more. She has contributed chapters to several books on donor conception and has reviewed abstracts for the American Society of Reproductive Medicine and has been a peer reviewer for the journals Human Reproduction, RBMOnline, and Frontiers in Global Women's Health.

Wendy was an Associate Producer for the 2011 Emmy nominated documentary Sperm Donor and on the 2013 MTV News & Docs, six-part docuseries called Generation Cryo. She just published Counseling Donor Family Members: A Guide for Mental Health Professionals. She co-wrote the book Finding our Families: A First-of-Its-Kind Book for Donor-Conceived People and Their Families, wrote the children’s book Your Family: A Donor Kid’s Story, and authored the book Donor Family Matters: My Story of Raising a Profoundly Gifted Donor-Conceived Child, Redefining Family, and Building the Donor Sibling Registry.

Wendy was married when she gave birth to her son Ryan in 1990, and in 1991 began to raise him as an only parent. Ryan has connected with his biological father (and grandparents) and knows of 24 half-siblings, so far. Wendy holds a B.A. in Communication Arts, has completed many postgraduate courses in counseling and psychology, is Mental Health First Aid certified, and is a Psychology Today monthly contributor.

Television

2011: Associate Producer on the Emmy nominated TV show "Sperm Donor".

2013: Associate Producer of MTV News & Docs 6 part series, "Generation Cryo"

Blogs

Psychology Today Blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/wendy-kramerDSR Blog

Donor Sibling Registry: https://donorsiblingregistry.com/blog

Huffington Post Blog: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/author/wendy-545

Speaking Engagements

https://donorsiblingregistry.com/speaking-engagements

DNA=Donors not Anonymous

https://indd.adobe.com/view/f47163a0-cdf8-44dd-b70d-1de3b4428cf4

Published Research: https://indd.adobe.com/view/ac2a0b99-f67a-4768-bf8c-c48af5aeebaf

https://donorsiblingregistry.com/dsr-research

The published research has been presented at meetings and conferences around the world, including ASRM, ESHRE, British Fertility Society, Australian Fertility Society, CRYO, Human Reproduction, ASPIRE, and many sociology, family, mental health, genetics, gynecology and obstetrics, legal, and LGBT conferences in North America, South America, Europe, Australia, and Asia.

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5

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Jennifer Schneider M.D.

Here's how to tell your young kids about their origin!!!!!!

Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2018

Verified Purchase

As the mother of an egg donor, I am very aware of the issues surrounding telling young children how they came into this world and about the potential existence of half siblings. The parents of donor-conceived children often do not know when and how to talk with their children about this. It is known from experience with adopted children that the younger they are when told, the easier it is for them to accept their origin. Wendy Kramer's book is sweet and beautiful and provides an age-appropriate way of conveying information about egg and sperm donation to young donor-conceived children. If you are a parent trying to figure out how and when to tell your donor children, this easy-to-read illustrated book is just the answer for you!

4 people found this helpful

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CAB4283

Great for the kids.

Reviewed in the United States on September 20, 2019

Verified Purchase

Perfect for kids to understand the material.

2 people found this helpful

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Momof1

One of a kind, but for older kids and read my comment

Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book is unique and has creative elements I really like. There are worksheet type pages that let the child express what they want to know about the donor and what they want the donor to know about them. It doesn't flow like a children's book usually does. There is focus on wanting to know the donor, which is fine, but know this going in. The donor is also referred to as biological or genetic father so know that too. Again, I'm not saying that is incorrect and some people are may be comfortable with that terminology, but others may not be with the term father. I wish the book also included egg donor cartoon images. I would say this book is best for older kids who can use the worksheet pages. I am grateful for a book like this and it is well thought out and one of a kind.

15 people found this helpful

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Jennifer Gordon

Five Stars

Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2018

Verified Purchase

Interesting and well put together

One person found this helpful

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AngieMama

Not quite what you think

Reviewed in the United States on March 25, 2019

Verified Purchase

I think its important to know this book is much more about a donor child connection with their half siblings than it is about telling a child about their birth story.

9 people found this helpful

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chicken little

I can attest to the authenticity and sensitivity of this wonderful book!

Reviewed in the United States on May 8, 2018

As the mom of two donor siblings, I can attest to the authenticity and sensitivity of this wonderful book!

5 people found this helpful

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K. Conroy

Four Stars

Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2018

Verified Purchase

My daughter is 3 and this book is more suited for older kids.

3 people found this helpful

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MiamiSK

Family dynamic

Reviewed in the United States on May 10, 2018

It’s a very nice book. I suggest letting the children know that they have half siblings and let them meet or FaceTime on occasion. I only wish they would’ve put the parents picture above the donor picture, as they are the actual people who raise the child.

13 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Isabelle Bellavance

Great book for donor conceived kids!

Reviewed in Canada on May 3, 2019

Verified Purchase

Wonderful !! As a SMC this book was perfect for my 8 year old. The fill in part where just what he needed to fully integrate his story. Thank you!

Cat L.

Terrible: best way to confuse a child

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 27, 2018

Verified Purchase

I bought several books of the kind to read to my child when they're older. This one starts off well but the insistence on having half siblings out there that they don't know about can only confuse and make a child insecure about their origins. I don't want to shield my child from truth and reality but there is no need to put so much emphasis on an unknown relative instead of simply focussing on their actual family who are living their everyday life with them. It was only when I saw the back of the book did I realise the true purpose of this: it's promoting the author's business. What an awful way to do so. Shame on the author. This has gone directly in the bin. Don't buy. Much, much better books out there.

2 people found this helpful

Jody Raabe

Narrow Focus for this Topic

Reviewed in Canada on February 14, 2019

Verified Purchase

I bought this after reading all of the reviews. I read that the book broaches the topic of half siblings or donor siblings. When I received it and read through it, I was shocked to find that more than half of the book is about donor siblings and worksheets about planning to meet them "soon" ... for a reading audience under the age of 10.
That is more than "broaching" a topic.

The book is, as the other reviews state, more narrow than one would think a book about donor conception would be. For our family, my son and I, this book has only 10 pages (of 30) relevant to our story, and as a Single-Mother-by-Choice, I had hoped that this book would be more inclusive of that. There are phrases and presumptions that really BUG me. I am disappointed.

7 people found this helpful

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